The Yard - Ep. 78 - The Craziest Show on TV

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

This week, the boys discuss the yard going to Japan, the upcoming Ludwig x Tarik Valorant invitational and how To Catch a Predator ended.

and welcome back to our dumbass little we gotta talk we gotta talk about love podcast we gotta talk about ludwig what's wrong he'swig? He's been good. He's been great. We- I- Oh, he's so- He's- Ludwig, look, you alright, man? You cannot- I- dude, I typed, I'm 20 away. I typed I'm 20 away while driving in rain, and he goes, what does that mean? The 20 away is fine. I'm not talking about that, you dumb piece of shit.

You did act confused about that. Sipper! Did you or did you not? Show us the DM! Did you or did you not act confused about that? Here we go! No, I didn't! Yes, you did. He means the DM! Did you or did you not act confused about that? There we go! No, I didn't! Yes, you did!

He means the original message. Yeah, you dumb person. I'm talking about the second one! Yeah, that's the problem! You're not understanding context! Uh, unless Zipper's pooping right now. Zipper's had some Zipper's tummy problems. Ethereal stomach issues.

No, Zipper's not pooping. Zipper, I just saw the screen. So yeah, the chronological DMs that I sent to you, Zipper. I just saw the screen so yeah the chronological DMs that I sent to you zipper so the problem is that Ludwig is he did the thing where he just so okay this is our slack

and we you know this is yesterday where I was like alright so what time tomorrow you brought and then Aiden's like 11 to 12 I'm like sure I tag the guys and then Ludwig replies quickly which is great 11 squirts great for me and then which is 11 30 in stands which is 11 30 is oh yeah 11.30 is a stand that is

important how your mind already corrected it but yeah but you should also just like when you type things you well and aiden didn't, so I'm like, it's like, you know, I'm like, okay, I think I can break this down. It's either 11 or it's 11.30. Not a big deal. Next one, zipper, please.

So this is today. He said, running late. Nick's also late. And then I was like, unless Ludwig made 11.30, then I'm on time. Ludwig then goes back to his previous message

of which is 11.30 is Stan's talk talk he points to it like a piece of poop on the wall and says i meant 1130 and i'm like and now we're all waiting for ludwig which is fine i think being we're late all the time and i was like what does he mean by this next one zipper also no one got gifts except for me and then we start talking about it and i was like lord do you think this message makes sense and he said yeah no no no no you cut it out oh you think you're talking that yeah okay so you thought i was talking about you psychopath getting there in 20 which no great job jordan peterson i love this let's just use information to make us look right

which i understand this is beautiful which Jordan Peterson. This is beautiful. Which I understand. No, let's talk about all the failures of socialist societies because of East Germany. It's amazing. You can't win if you keep doing this. No, he was hurt by cold. Yeah, because Jordan Peterson was hurt by the Cold War in East Germany and he doesn't understand.

How? Yeah. Because he has no faith. And that's why he only eats meat now. Yeah, because he has no faith in anything but capitalist society to succeed. Do you only eat meat? Am I Jordan Peterson or are you? You're Jordan Peterson.

How? You only eat meat now? I eat vegetables all the time. I'm Jordan Peterson. No one believes that. I ate a banana yesterday. That's not a vegetable. But it's not meat either. Yeah but you also said I eat vegetables all the time and then said I ate a banana. I'm just saying. So that happened. So okay. Anyway the message that he cut out is me saying i'm still 20 away and then slime and then he replies ludwig do you think this message makes sense in response to you immediate or like previously saying uh talking about ever pulled the message i sent oh you sent it too yeah because you you know i like to do it with the full context. I gotta look at this. Your immediate message reply. This is an insane straw man.

Because I'm trying to talk. No, no, no, no. Because I sent a message. I'm trying to talk about. Yes, I understand. Ludwig, do you think this message makes sense? It's clear that I'm still 20 away makes sense. That's normal.

No, it's. When you look at me like this, it's confusing. You're dumb. You gotta clarify. You gotta reply to the comment, dude. You can reply to the comment It's obviously the one that says Stans is 1130 All your base are cats belong to us now

No Like why the fuck Would that one be something I'm confused about I think using context clues Is something that got us here in the first place The pool is closed You know what I'm saying I don't want to talk about this part Because I'm not mad at you for getting That got us here in the first place the pool is closed. You know

Because I'm not mad at you for getting confused at that I think that makes sense and that's okay I'm talking about the original fucking stupid message, which is stupid You were dumb I'm sorry to continue the conversation. No, no, no. I'm sorry. To continue the conversation, you have to say, I was dumb. I was dumb. And then we can continue. Sure. I was dumb.

Ludwig, are you wearing your friendship bracelet? I was dumb too. And then we can end the conversation. No, we can't. Two people were equally dumb. I want you guys to vote on your phones now. When you see a message that says. Hey, do you like the yard?

Do a comment. Tell us what you think about. Is Ludwig. Sorry, can you go back to the fucking original stupid shit message? Would you go to one that says, which is 11.30 is Stan's talk? So, what we had to figure out

sitting down was that what you meant was 11 squirty. Is that what you meant? Yeah, it's squirty. Wait, wait, wait. Do I get to finish or is this just you get your sound bite? Squirty Do I get to finish or is this just you Ask a question

A lot of we've been asked a question you've been addressed please respond type squirty on your phone Type squirty on your phone. Okay, like that's not a good excuse Just type it on your phone I'm just asking you to type Just type on Slack squirty And then press space It goes to squirts Okay why is that an excuse for him I'm not saying it is I'm saying that's how it happened

I'm explaining how it happened Do you not understand how that would maybe Change the message to squirts It does help with your intention Cause if he just said squirts and expected us to get it, that's worse than... I meant to do squirty, obviously. See, that wasn't obvious. That wasn't obvious to me.

And that's not obvious to us. No, no, no. It's obvious now after explaining this, which is why it was worth bringing up. I understand. But you wanted to silence me. Jesus Christ. Do you want another 40 minutes of the podcast on this? I was wrong

I'm sorry I've never seen him in this press You haven't let me finish in so long Which is actually crazy Because I'm not trying to sit on you I'm just trying to articulate to the viewers The struggle that we deal with And how you've been good

But this is an insane black stinky skid mark On the underwear That is our communication But i'm not i'm not lambasting you but i am glad you think this is not lambasting do you believe that he was a backstreet boy so so okay the reason why i brought this up is because it is still and maybe this is a problem for me is so insane that you type things out like that you look at it and you go good enough good enough instead of being more clear and i don't think that's fair when specifically talking about times to gather and that is all i

wanted to say it's so funny my misunderstanding was so different. Mine was... I thought... We made it about the same thing. I thought you said... When you said 11 squirts, and then you put that is 11 is Stan's talk, I thought you meant, like, let's be there at 11,

which actually means 11.30, because we'll all be late. Because... Oh, interesting. Like, in Stan's talk, 11 means 11.30. This is like interpreting the Bible. When Stan says 11, he actually shows up

at 1130 do you believe that too? yeah he's very punctual for your guys reference I just wouldn't know I don't know

I thought this was wait real quick go to the very last DM zipper I just want to see how Ludwig closed this one out

because I wanted I wanted him to make sure I wasn't actually mad and I didn't actually care it was more an examination of what's going on yeah

I thought the text conversation and then the first 10 we cracked it it literally took us thinking about it nothing has changed you are evil but also i brought gifts fuck you all uh and then wait wait did i send you the very last one is it it's the next one right or is that is that it i'll just read it out one thing i noticed with this was i think we've fallen so far down the rabbit hole of saying words weird. Because when I read 11 squirts without skipping a beat, I was like, he means 11 works. Oh, see. I thought that too. I thought, no, that's what I thought.

That's what I said too. But then he was like 1130. And then I interpreted it as like, oh, Stan must be late to things. So it's like, we'll aim for 11 because 11 works. We'll all get there around 1115. That's exactly what I thought too. We'll get started at 1130. So I was like, it squirts.

It does squirt for me. Not everyone understood Illmatic when it came out. I'll add that in. So to end this, I say, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but this is a Ludwig L, but I still love you and care about you. And you said while driving probably kill yourself. Yeah I had to do this all while driving. You didn't have to

by the way. Is this a real New Year's resolution to not tell people to kill themselves? No to not tell people outside of slime yeah. No dude why? I carved him out. Why? I carved him out. He doesn't want to say it to people he doesn't mean it to. You know what I mean? Oh my god that's so insane. I actually wrote a much worse message and then deleted it and then i replaced it with kill yourself really i said i

hope when i go to the studio you've killed yourself and then i swapped it to just kill yourself uh i wish i would have done it to prank you so good oh i would have pranked you so good see me here saying welcome back to the art episode 85 everybody. I'm just swaying in the back. We're still doing our hand shake. It's like. Good news you got a friendship bracelet. You tear it off my corpse. No I'm not wearing my watch though.

Dude I showed up and Slime goes oh you're wearing your bracelet and I was like yeah you're not wearing your bracelet and he's like no and I'm like I thought we were friends forever no it's because your friends for an episode because it was a gag gift intentionally carved out Hayden and to wear it earnestly is actually kind of mean I would in my car I would wear mine mine you know what I'm gonna bring it back I've tired this fucking guy no mine's on my car mirror no you know look

we didn't we didn't bring each other gifts. We didn't because Hold on. Because Ludwig didn't do it. No, it just didn't arrive in time. I bought something for Nick when I originally had the idea and it still hasn't come yet. Look, everyone in this stupid fucking room, some of us got gifts, some of us forgot to. Let's just hold

the gifts. I'm giving one now. What? Only one. I'm giving one now. Why do you want to cash in your penis points? Your nut points? Because it's relevant. You want to come all the way to the place? It's relevant to what we're saying. Why not edge for once? I feel like the only thing relevant is a squirt gun or like a watch.

Time? Wow. B-B-F-F-R Did you make your own with the same thing? Better best friend, for real Who gets that? For Aiden What? Who didn't get his friendship bracelet Wow, did you make that? I did make it

With zipper 2 crafts? With myself No, but she had the crafts, right? No, I bought crafts I bought crafts, and I saved his wrist. Well, I got you guys backup gifts. Wait, we're doing gifts? What the fuck is going on?

Are we doing gifts now? No, we're doing gifts next week. This is from Stavros to all of you guys. Yeah, he has like a graceful nude calendar, I think. This is cool. Does he really show dick? I don't know. Oh, see. Oh the months Jack off who weary other name different

Rewary what is this? Yeah, so that's November Gabriel no no no no no we have to say that we have to say we don't have it Dude, these are amazing. This is really great. Hey, thank you so much. Stavros is a goddamn family man. Well, this is my gift. I gave you guys these gifts.

He's so kind. You gave us these gifts. Yeah, I bought them from Stavros' website. No, no, you know. You told us they came. Can I just ask you if that's true?

I think we talked about this a long time ago, but last Christmas, him and his mom baked us cookies. Dude, you know what sucks is we were out of town, they baked us cookies again, and they went mom baked us cookies. You know what sucks? We were out of town, they baked us cookies again, and they went stale. No.

Yeah. Stale baklava. You were good. I mean, I know they make delicious cookies. Hey, go buy a Stavros calendar if they're still on sale. You know what you're supposed to do is not look at all these, so they're a surprise every month, but I was so addicted to seeing him, I just had to do it. Like an Advent calendar?

Yeah. That's great. Thanks, Stavros. He's a sweetheart. That's so nice. I'm glad we've lightened the mood a bit. The mood was already light! And now a message from Shady Ray. And now a message

about slime in Valorant. What happened with slime in Valorant? So we both hit plat. Can I say something before? Because you interrupted me a lot. I just want to say one thing. I'm just going to contextualize it. Yeah, I have had a ton of fun playing with Ludwig. I remember in Discord the other day,

I was saying why I can't play with you guys. Yeah. I was just saying how cherished I am. He added in that Valorant hurts his back because of his back problem. Does. But he goes through it because he wants to play games with you. He's saving his good hours. He wouldn't play with us. us he said no to me he's saving his hours to play with you

i also had to say no to aiden i said that's easy yeah it was easy don't go ahead it was easy so the context is we both hit plat and we want to hit diamond which is probably our end goal yeah that's probably our frodo we've done enough let's hop on the ship, go home. Yeah. We want to get pink with each other. We get some pink, and we don't need to go green. No. No. I'll be pink with you. Yeah. I feel like this has turned sexual. No.

And our games haven't gone amazing. Okay. Where are you guys at right now? We went down. We'll end up like zero on the day or like minus five on the day i'm plat one he's plat two i'm plat one we d ranked on the last game oh you did but yeah yeah that's right he's high plat one though i see he's so close and i have to come clean and be honest with you with two facts one i am the only one of the two of us who's getting any MVPs on the board.

I play Raze. I play Cypher. What the fuck do you want from me? You get two jet games. I got Cypher yesterday, MVP. That doesn't count. Two. And no one asked.

I've popped a gummy every single session. Really? You've been gummied up? You're taking performance enhancing drugs? Yes, sir. Because I don't do it. I don't like getting high during stream

but I like getting high when I play Valorant and so I'm not high at all during stream and then the moment Valorant comes up

I'm like that's why you go that's why he leaves every time well I also get water and that's why you're snacking all the time I do love eating

mini wheats wow so you have two points one that he sucks and two that you're the go also and you're not trying he Trying but he gets also so mad you got so mad at chat one time

Yeah, but only the first day and then I was like I have to change his chat. No, I love we say yeah Yeah, he was really mad at my job in me. I love typing in his chat while you guys play No to me and us But like me But he was also like riling him up Yeah I forgot that when you have a chat That big and you say something You can't really control it and so they'll just start

Fucking it's like a beehive They're trying to put you on LSF bro Yeah they're trying to get you I forgot He said the unsayable. I think the one thing that's like always very touchy and just an incorrect thing to say

is bringing up wealth inequality, especially when your wealth has been accumulated in some way based off viewership. And so he was just like, are you fucking broke and make what a doctor makes? Yeah, I said the doctor line

and then they really didn't like that, which is fine I understand but it's like they were being so mean to me that sentence works if you're a doctor no it doesn't it works all the time when I say it I make what a doctor makes as a doctor it's like whoa you do

it's different in like for instance my chat which is a tenth of yours what gets you all riled up man why do you get all riled up I'm trying to remember what particularly was like I don't know I think I think it was just like mute slime

I can't fucking like stand listening to him or something and it's like wait that's my friend we're friends why would he mute me that's what goes through my mind and he's like bro I know this guy's fucking annoying, but I got it. Dude, he's the only one who'll play Cypher.

I just need that deal. I said 11 squirts earlier, he didn't know what I was talking about. It's because I went in dry. I went in so dry playing with Ludwig where I was like, I needed to calibrate my mental to having a giant chat that big

and understand what that's like. And then since then, it's been great. I just take it on the chin um but yeah i just forgot balacha is meaner too like even for me they they're very mean to me if i'm not playing well they're backseaters bro isn't that why you don't like streaming the game normally it makes it a bit less fun but then i just get high and so then i don't care. Yeah, that sounds healthy. It is healthy when you're top ragging. Dude, I'm like four for six on MVPs in our past six.

You play Raze in plat lobbies. I'm fucking trying to hold the team together with my set and my powers. Match MVP is always impressive. Yes or no? Match MVP is always impressive? Yeah.

I mean, if impressive is any level of impressive, then yeah, sure. I feel like he doesn't mean it. I mean by that is like if you get 24 kills and your teammate also gets 24 kills but like there's way more impact but you got it because of the math then it's like yeah I mean I guess it's impressive because you're the best in the lobby, but It's got an asterisk on it. So you're saying that he's really proud of you all the time? Yeah, that made me feel really good. Duh.

Wait, what? Anyway, we're going to hit Diamond, and you need to fix your back because we need to do like a 12-hour gaming day to get there before the Ludwig Terror Convitational. Hey, bro. Or I do this without you. Aiden's my only friend, man. Well, this is about us? I know.

You're being an asshole right now. I know. I know it's about you guys, man. That's insane. I'm playing video games with my friends, man. Well, but it's not fun when I play with you. I know You're being an asshole I know I know it's about you guys That's insane I'm playing video games with my friends man But it's not fun when I play with you

I know Or Aiden He was getting real mad last night I was hanging out with the boys in discord and it was really nice

I was like on my side with my laptop like clamshelled and I fell asleep watching the Valorant game It was very cute It's a hard game to come back to

And then my laptop would fall in the middle of the night because it's clamshelled It's so dangerous because it's so tipsy No it the middle of the night because it's clamshell is so dangerous because it's So like tipsy no, it's like it's like a V Like on its side

Since it's taller right you see what I mean. It's usually a clamshell No, my shit my shit a MacBook is built. I guess maybe I'm thinking like what the way I used to do it is like Yeah, the bag like this yeah the bag is a laptop like this yeah and I put it like this that's what I don't know what you're trying to show you know right now what's dangerous on the floor oh I did on my bed yeah it's on the floor okay and it was really nice on there I hold it like I on my bed I lay down sideways and I hold it up on its side I have my arm on top of it that's insane that is when you your arm get tired?

How does it not fall asleep? That was nice. Don't do that at fall on the bed. We were playing in the stack last night. It's me, Nick, Nick Wang, Nick Yingling, and Yan. I think that is it. And Nick Yan. That's Mogul Moves Finest.

To be clear, that's Mogul Moves Finest. Is that the best stack that Mogul Moves can swing? 100%. Who's missing? No one. I think that is. Yeah, it's the best stack. mogul moves over 100% who? I think that is yeah, that's the best. That's mogul moves finest. That's like a Senate immortal average mogul moves There was no chemistry finest. I'll say that started. I was mad bad. There was no turn it around We went on a win Street. I told you he's mad. He was like mad at his teammates. Yeah, no no no Yeah, and was mad at his time like mad at his teammates yeah no no no yan was mad at his teammates i can't be dying okay yeah i'm killed when i'm fucking entry used to be the first the the best at holding

the mental together the the beacon of positivity in every lobby yin we keep in mind we have all stopped playing so like nick me yingling have all not been playing valorant and then nick wang we don't uh we don't normally play with up until like very recently but he he's he's good um and yin has and this is my theory yin has only been playing with dawson for like two months he has come out the other side of more toxic and broken gamer he's just like dude we're like down like five one in a game and he's like we can't win this just any conceivable it can be turning into the end of hedgehog he's like a darker version of himself dawson feels like a long-term gamer in that like he likes to discuss the things that went wrong that will help you throughout your games in the future,

but his short-term game is just vibe kills and just harshing. Dude, I literally said... Oh, you think I killed him? No, no, no. He did this to me once. Just like the Australians that were like, I don't give a fuck about vibes when they're mean to us. Yeah.

Dawson, one time I was like, because he roasted someone that was random in our game, and I was like because he like roasted someone that was a random in our in our game and I was like come on man like you're fucking with the vibes he's like fucking vibes or shit well hopefully we have better chemistry because we got a show match coming up and it's gonna be every episode we say it in the next episode we go wait maybe the announcements going out today it's yeah it's locked it's happening who's our team it's gonna be... Every episode we say it, and the next episode we go, wait, maybe not. The announcement's going out today. The teams are locked. It's happening. Wait, who's our team?

It's me, Nick Verchillen dude, the Killjoy, Eamon Gaiman. He'll be playing Raze, though. Oh my god, he's a Raze. Fuck. Eamon Gaiman, and Yingo, myself, and Shroud. Yeah. Shroudy, Shroudy. The best to ever fucking do it.

Shroud, Yingling, me. Then Offline TV is Yvonne, Brodin, Masayoshi, Quarterjade, and Taric. We're so fucked. Dude, that's actually fucked. I'm a little worried.

They gave us Offline TV B-Team, because Offline TV A team would be Pokey and Toast. Or Cityon. Instead of Broden and Yvonne. Because I think Yvonne and Broden aren't that good. Broden's like plat. Yvonne is like silver.

Silver gold. So Yvonne is like I think maybe saving grace. But like John and think, are maybe saving Grace, but like, Jon and Jodie are like... They're immortal two. They're disgusting. Immortal one.

They're both good. And then I'm worried because I... Taric is like, you know, he's like 30 on the leaderboard. And Shroud is immortal three. And that's supposed to be our... We don't even have a radiant. That's supposed to be what evens the playing field. No be radiant we don't even have a radiant i was gonna be playing fucking lost ark in the custom game and it's gonna be like the elo disparity is too large to play

each other in the custom we have uh we have another saving grace which is we're playing ludwig gun game the return oh yeah where every round you up your weapons. Yeah. So you start with... Wait, are we doing this in the show match? We're doing one game of that in the show match and then the other game is the new map. How does it work? Is every round infinite money? I want you to know that this is fine.

When was this decided? On call with Tarek. Awesome. Were you there? No. Yeah. I know, but I'm glad I know now. Was relayed.

No, it wasn't. No, it was. Wait. Hey, we'll be playing Ludwig's Squirt Game. You told me on the phone. Relayed to Nick Brachillo. In a way that sounded like you had known about it. Nope. Aiden was first in the call order.

I don't know, right now. Communicating with all parties in regards to this event. But you didn't tell it to me like we thought of it together. You said it to me like you already had the idea. I said it because Tarek was anti-regular showmatch. I was like, let's just do a showmatch. And he's like, nah, that's boring. And he wanted to spice it up.

This is me acquiescing Tarek. So honestly, Tarek should have relayed this. I think he's wrong that it's boring. You think Tarek should have relayed this? It's the Ludwig Tarek Invitational. He's half of it. Live 14 hours acing Tarek. So honestly, Tarek should have relayed this. I think he's wrong. Tarek should have relayed this. It's the Ludwig Tarek Invitational. He's half of it. Live 14 hours a day Tarek. Oh, so like all of a sudden my job doesn't count.

It is funny that like in the Ludwig Tarek Invitational, the captain of their team is Tarek and the captain of ours is Shroud. No, no, no. The captain of our team is Ludwig. We just happen to have Shroud there. No, I haven't seen it. The graphic is the five of you and Ludwig's in front. Yeah, and Shroud is off to the side.

It's so funny to see Shroud off to the side. Right next to Yingo. Look, here's the facts, folks. I gained 10 pounds this holiday season eating yummy cookies. Tell me time. Show me tell me time. Really quick. Tell me time.

HelloFresh brought you. Tell me time. Brought you by HelloFresh. I'm veering on a stinky 200, and so I need to cut some weight, but I also don't want to ditch out on the big flavor. So what do I do? You use HelloFresh. The food comes in a box.

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and then you just make it, and it's done. There's not much trash. There's not much to throw out. Two recipes, falafel power bowls, seared steak and potatoes with Bernays sauce. That's the sauce that you thought was spelled one way, but it was actually spelled the other way. I've had the Southwest pork and bean burritos and they were fire. That's what's turning it around for you post-holiday season?

That is. It's the one thing Southwest did right this year. I'd like to pork your bean burrito. Okay. Well, how about instead you go to HelloFresh.com slash the yard 22 for 22 free meals. What the hell? They give you 22 free straight up. That's actually insane.

How do they make money? Is that right? Why don't you just do it? Holy shit. Hey, look, who cares if it's right? Because they sent it to us. So they owe it to you now. That's right.

Go to HelloFresh.com slash the yard 22. It doesn't make sense. You have to sign up for like a year, right? For 22 free meals plus free shipping. If you could cancel, that'd be such a good schemaz. Yeah, well. Go scam the company. Either way, figure it out because you can get 22 free meals plus free shipping.

We've helped all we can. 22 full meals. I'm just saying you could scam, but maybe you fuck around and find out that you love America's number one meal kit. So genuinely, for America's number one meal kit, this tier list brought to you by HelloFresh, I think the ball- size tier list goes, Bloodwig, Nick tied for first,

Aiden, and then me. I think I have the smallest balls among us. Slime vented. And now we're going to vent back in the episode. Archie, edit me venting. I won't be,

I won't be competing because I'll be in Cutie's show, which is fun. You will be. Master Baker. Yeah. Are you fun? Are you fun times? Ready for it? What the fuck? I won't be I won't be competing because I'll be in cuties show which is will be master baker Yeah, are you I'm are you fun times ready for it? What are you fun some squirts? I am excited. I think I should be really fun. I'm like I have custom aprons I'm literally because what's called custom ink go fuck yourselves. They didn't want to make the apron that I okay I know what was on your apron. I won't leak it cuz I assume you want it to be a secret

It will be a secret. Yeah, that shouldn't be on it. It's true. They are I think responsible for what they print No, yes, they print like copyrighted things they get in trouble which it wasn't or if they print things that are like maybe defamatory it wasn't it's true okay you guys will see we know your gauge of this is you saw it right no it's in the group chat now it's not reading group chat i'm gonna fucking kill myself group the one with us and zipperie, blur this. They wouldn't let me print that. That makes sense.

No, it doesn't. I don't know why you can't say shit that's real. Slime's like, yo, yeah, I just wanted to print Bud Dwyer shooting himself and it's the exact framework goes off and for whatever reason, Custom Ink was like, no. But he's wearing a chef's hat. Custom Ink is like, it's more of a copyright issue. It's like a copyright thing uh they didn't let me print tricky mac smoking a bong on a shirt yeah yeah so i guess that's what they hate they hate

the truth and raw shit yeah yeah so i have to make so i literally ordered a like a press thingy and like make a shirt holy shit go to the No. They just do it at the mall. No, I'm gonna do it myself. Cause I ordered a bunch of cute stickers and stuff. There's like a kitty. Yeah, bro. And I got like rhinestone bedazzled letters. It's gonna pop. He talks to one girl all of a sudden

he's making bracelets and t-shirts, dude. You guys don't know. You guys laugh but I also have another apron if Cutie tells me I can't wear this one, that's even funnier. So it'll be good. Shorty got me down bad, bro. I bought a cricket machine. I was wearing that sweater with Bernie Madoff on it on the plane when I was flying home last week.

And there was a guy sitting at the front. And I'm standing there waiting for the people in front of me to move. And he looks at my sweater and he's like is that and I was like do you know who this is he's like yeah and I was like he should have stopped he should have stopped hustling and then he points to his wife and she's like she works in financial regulation wow and she looked at my sweater it did not seem to be approving of it. I mean, like, no. If you can't laugh about your job, what are you doing? Yeah.

I figured financial regulators would be funnier. Yeah, that's what I thought. She would be like, ah, that's a good one. Like, as if I'm, like, vouching for his historic run. I take the FTC very seriously. And it's like, we'll all die one day. Money isn't real. Did you know that, lady?

Neither does the vaccine. Yeah, I didn't tell that to her. Did you tell her the vaccine wasn't real? Well, Aiden should hold off on that. He already had enough Ukraine haters last podcast to jump on the bandwagon. Dude, there's that one guy. Everyone's like, my guy, finally this podcast says some real shit. Dude, there was someone on the subreddit that was like, they were just talking about like they obviously know you're joking they obviously know like you are a sympathetic

person but there was someone who was replying to someone else being like yeah you fucking like you should just like go soy post on r slash politics like you're like someone defending the idea that ukraine is still an issue like go fucking soy post somewhere else like you like it's just not in our it's not in our worldview right now like we don't have to fucking care about it. And I replied to that person. I was like, we do not want you as a fan. I'm not with you. Like, please go away.

I'm not with you. And then that person replied, was like, I guess I, like, need to reevaluate. Like, I thought it was on the board here. It's like, holy shit. Let him cook, man. Let him do his thing. The Daily turned it around, though. Instead of talking about Ukraine, know every other day now they're

talking about how Kevin McCarthy got rejected in the speaker vote 15 times in a row. I don't know how government works. Got it on the 16th. He did. Close that shit. Close it. The House needs I think like 218 votes like a majority for somebody to maybe it's more to pass

as the speaker of the House. The speaker of the House. Is it like one of those waterproof ones the house yeah yeah yeah it's one of those water wow he's got blue anyway wow so everyone just we'll take a moment of silence five seconds soak that one in i just don't have anybody i need a hassan in my life so i can talk to him about kevin mccarthy by the way what do you think about Chainsaw Man? Wait, I have a question for you. I have a question for you about this.

Because when you put it in your tweet, I realized this is actually why I do not like anime. And even when I was a kid, why I didn't like anime. Oh, that's crazy. We're not going to talk about it. How they just monologue and talk to themselves all the time. I can't say my thoughts on Chainsaw Man. I've learned my lesson. I think it's crazy. We're not going to talk about it. How they just monologue and talk to themselves all the time. I can't say my thoughts on Chainsaw Man. I've learned my lesson.

I think it's great. Oh, my question is, what is it? All anime. All manga. You don't want the smoke. He's just switched up, dude. Dude, yeah, you would take any Sykkuno Stan smoke. You'd be taking any smoke from a BTS fan, but all of a sudden, anime's too much.

I think that getting told that I'm gonna get my head cut off in the street was you know annoying yeah well they are chainsaw man does it's kind of his thing no yeah I think so I had a lot of anime people I had one particular anime person at my throat uh which was like which was. But yeah, I think explaining how you feel as like a narrative device is always bad. And maybe I'm just like a Western cuck. I don't know. Yeah, you are.

Yeah. Yeah. The thing about Eastern literature is that it, it's able to deepen their minds when they talk about why they're doing the move that they're doing in that exact moment. Yeah. They read from the right. because she did me wrong. You know what I mean?

And that's why sometimes you dance with the devil. It'll last forever. So you don't want the smoke? I don't want the smoke. It was bad. I know, right? It's crazy smoke. I also replied a lot.

Wait, you're saying the smoke was bad or Chainsaw Man was bad? I haven't seen Chainsaw. I saw episode one of Chainsaw Man. It looked fine. No, I don't read. Yes, you do. You read manga. It's pictures.

I read One Piece to catch up, but I don't read it. Are you caught up on One Piece? Yeah. Reading it? Not anymore because I stopped, but I caught up. I'm like a month out of being caught up. Well, what I found out is that the Shonen Jump app, I'm shilling actually right now. It's like $2 a month and you just read manga all day and it's like you don't have to fucking

torrent it and shit like back in the day. And also if you're on planes, you don't need Wi-Fi, you just read, which is cool. It is crazy how easy it is to just steal it in terms of manga and anime. You can just look up Naruto episode 33 stream free And it's just like the first five links are like yep. We all work Yeah, and then if you do the same thing in Japan you get like straight-up arrested really yeah They're like really strict. They don't like kiss anime down there. They arrested a dude cuz use uploading like I think movie reviews What yeah, this is like a whole thing that I don't know if Zippers

Hear shit but if you could pull it up It's like it's just the movie In entirety and then you laugh at the end This is like Thumbs up, thumbs sideways I changed it This is fair use Yeah there's some like anime reviewer who was arrested in Japan

I think if you look up those words Just cause how strict they are with like Copy law that's wild they also have insane laws around like um what do you call that shit when defamatory laws defamatory like yeah like libel slander yeah yeah all that stuff yeah yeah like if you if you if you do it if you defame um somebody you or excuse me like if you say something truthful about somebody c-dog va has a micro penis i'm getting attacked by the japanese government yeah because even if it was true even if it was true even if it is true yeah if it hurts their business because it's because if it's true well how did you think that hurts the japanese government bro

their business to know that he is a micro penis I think it would hurt their business if people knew about Connor Dog Voice Actor's micropenis. I think it would make solidarity with other micropenises stronger. They're like, we have representation on this podcast. Yeah. Finally, someone for us. It's fucking micro in it.

Everything. Jason Statham. I don't know if you're Welsh, but I've got to find the smallest penis in the world. Yeah, I mean, I've got a small penis. That was just Australian. That was just Australian. You're mixing them all up.

Fuck. That's okay, man. I've got a small penis. Now he's posh. We're so bad at this. He's a bit posh. I'm trying to get to his register because he has such a beautiful voice. Yeah, I mean, despite- Can you be posh. I'm trying to get to his register because he has such a beautiful voice. Yeah, I mean, despite...

Can you be posh and Welsh? You, he lives in London. Welsh. That's like pilk. That's like Pepsi milk. Yeah. He's the Pepsi milk of people. Of people, yeah.

Aren't they all? I'm over there. What was I going to say about that to you? Lobin under. We're going Japan. No. Dude, you know about this. What?

No, dude. What? We're going where? We're going to Nippon. Finally. Yeah. Do you feel like you're gonna have Paris Syndrome? No.

Maybe. There's no way. Dude, as someone who's been there, there's no fucking way. I think it's way too hard to have parasyndrome for Tokyo he's gonna go around and be like oh cool he's gonna buy like an eraser top for his pencil and be like look what I got today

you're gonna be stoked I think I won't have parasyndrome because I locked myself a moped and so now I can ride a moped around Tokyo which is pretty much all I want to do okay that's pretty tight I locked myself a moped. And so now I can ride a moped around Tokyo, which is pretty much all I want to do. Okay.

That's pretty tight. And if I couldn't have done that, then maybe I would have been sad because I do love riding Vespas around. Do you feel, what is, okay, what's like the next country in line that you or culture

that you give a shit about under Japan? Is Osaka a country? That you would be so hyped to go to even if it's like way like number two is way far away i don't think i got a number two check this off it's like you know you're it feels like your travel dreams are like yeah then what this is it's over this is my guy i found my but it's not over it's like I found the best thing to eat at Domino's. And now I just get to eat. It's like, what's the next thing on the menu you want to try?

It's like, no, dude. I really like their chicken carbonara bowls. You just keep going to Domino's. I can just keep eating it. Japan is the chicken carbonara bowl of countries. I'm like that too. I'm like him. And I want you to know, by the way, that the Domino's chicken carbonara bowl is yummy.

Okay? And I want you to know by the way that the Domino's chicken carbonara bowl is yummy I think I think the problem is that you haven't tried so many of the other things on the menu The problem is you don't recognize that it has 12 grams of protein per bowl. Oh Not that much for a chicken bowl 360 calories. What is the protein in this analogy? It cannot be 360 calories by the way. This isn't an ad by the way It sounds like Domino's No it's not an ad I do think that

After you go to Nippon Desu And you come back to your gaijin life What's next bro? That's it, it's over I go back When? Why not just go to new fucking places that you would have watched a lesson Taiwan Taiwan awesome

What sucks is that is you got the right one I probably would love to go if I could go to Taiwan with to law then I would really enjoy it I talked to him lately. Yeah, we talked the other day for like probably like 30 minutes. They didn't talk for that much of it. Yeah. Like

It was more of a hard to talk with. More of a passionate trust. Taiwan was one of the I got to Taiwan after going to Japan and I was like this place

is like the Japan that people do not talk about. It is so fucking sick. You're a slut Imagine going there and being like this is like the Japan that people don't talk about Idea of Japan in popular culture because of things like fucking anime this little hole in the world is like the Japan Oh my god The Japan countries you don't know about And then the thumbnail is Taiwan You know what I mean

And it's an arrow and it's like not Japan And it's Aiden You know what's funny? That hair It's all fucked up Is when I was there all the tourists were Japanese So they know what's up They know what's up

That's the spot That's the local spot You're a slut that goes to every country and you love no country But there's something to be appreciated everywhere The thing I think you're looking for your Japan and you're jealous because I found mine. I'm not. No, his is Sweden. He found his.

He just can't go there because of the yard. Sweden's such an L. Sweden's nice, man. It's an L, bro. Are you a nasty little cum dumper for the world? For world nations? Wait, dumper or guzzler? No, dumper.

I want to go everywhere. I want to go everywhere I want to go everywhere did I know you want to go everywhere ever since you hatched that plan to go to what was it like? Afghanistan together. Oh, no. Yeah, we're gonna go to yeah, that is sick. That was just a sick trip That would have been anyway was it was it was Damascus. We want to go to Damascus. Yeah One of the oldest countries in the world. Or like Damascus is one of the oldest cities in the world. Yeah, the Middle East gets so much shit in Western culture because it's like we've been taught that it's a war-torn horror land for 20 years.

Actually longer than that. But yeah, it's like the oldest capital. That's insane. That's cool. Yeah, that's why when when aiden wanted to go i was like fuck yeah like i joked like oh it would be hard to go there like like badass but it's actually just really sick it would also be hard to get there physically no you fly with a plane yeah i mean you you probably gotta apply for like a visa you need

like a yeah that's what i'm assuming people People do it. Well, also American passport's pretty good. P good. You know. It's P good. But I was gonna ask you, what's your Nippon desk? My Nippon desk? Is it Sweden? What does that mean?

Is it like where I would live? It's your ridiculously idealized version of something that you haven't experienced yet and that will be an ultimate disappointment in your life. Oh, that's what it is? That I haven't experienced yet. Wait, that's not what in your life. Oh, that's what it is? Wait, wait, wait. That's not what it should mean. Why? What should it mean?

That's what it means. There's two of us going to die here. It's either the place you really, really, really want to go more than anywhere else, or it's the place that if you could only travel to one place in the world, you would pick it. Yeah, it's the latter for me. So we'll talk about the second one. You only can go one place in the world. You know,

it doesn't look the way it does in anime. If there were, if there was no, they cried different too. Yeah. Probably Hong Kong. Really? Yeah.

Is it that, Hong Kong's like my favorite city. Wow. What's yours? I don't know if I would move. Rancho Cucamonga. Rancho. Yes, sir.

Also, there's a Chili's like right next to me it was so affirming to see because when we talked about the the hong kong covid stuff last week i was like some people are probably gonna get up in my face about like not sticking it out and not staying in the facility and then i got like a bunch of dms and a bunch of comments of people who live there or who have been to the facility who are like you made the right choice yeah i got a dm from a guy uh who lives there that i talk to sometimes uh because he is in the competitive mario kart community and he was like i want you to know that my three weeks in that facility were the worst weeks of my life bar none.

And I was like- See, that's why you should have gone! You have such a warped reality. Can we- Are we not meant to experience things in our life? What the fuck, Ludwig? Like- You- You don't leave your house! I still- What are you talking about? I won't do that! You went to Florida to- And watched all of Squid Game. Let me defend him!

Oh, fuck. You- That, that takes you down so far. Fuck Italy! I don't even say it! No, no, no, no, because you can't, you can't pretend. No, fuck Italy, bro. Fuck Italians. The crown, the crown on that whole story, the crown on the whole story is the fact that a month later, I never want to go. you're watching all the YouTube videos about Roman history,

and you're talking, you're trying to, Oh, this is so sick! This is so sick! You guys know about this shit, bro? Yeah, dude! We were there! We were at it! You don't care!

We were at it! You don't give a shit about Roman history! I did! What?! We were there! It doesn't matter! You were there by happenstance! You didn't say-

No! We planned it! We planned things to do! We picked the place and planned- Trigger guys! We intentionally picked Italy! We intentionally picked Italy! We intentionally picked Italy for that guy! You wanna go to Sicily and eat a pizza?

You are... You are pants on head fucking stupid. Somebody else come to Syria with me. No, don't say that. You don't say that. I don't wanna go to Syria with you. You wanna go to Damascus? You wanna go to Damascus? He doesn't wanna fucking go, bro. Lil bro found out Rome wasn't built in one day and all of a sudden thinks he's a pro.

I am not a pro at anything. Finally, fucking agree on something. Been new. Wait, what was I going to say? My actual answer to your question, by the way. Who drew the spear? Hold on. Who drew the spear?

It was Remus. Romulus. Remus is the brother who died. What a 50-50. I literally just flipped that coin. Romulus. My Japan. No. I literally just flipped that coin. Romulus. My Japan. I don't know.

I shouldn't have said anything. I should have held strong. What's up? My Japan. My Japan used to be Japan. It used to be. What the fuck did Nihonga do to you? And then he found the Japan no one knew about.

You just go and see things and you do it and then you go to other places. All of these places are cool. Dude, Taipei is like the MF Doom. And all of these countries have their own Paolo from Tokyo who makes YouTube videos about them that make them cool. Who's the Paolo for Syria? His name's Drew. His name's Drew. He went to every single country in the world and I watched his video

about going to Damascus and I was like, that is tight that's it i would like to go there um you know what though i haven't i i started watching more youtube again because josh is out of the house because my son flew away from the coop yeah he moved on and i i fell asleep last night way too early and i woke up and i was like okay this sucks and I watched I watched like a two-hour video essay on the economics of the UFC I was like here we go again I'm in the hole again bro fucking how they doing it's super interesting and I'm not gonna fucking sit here and break it down but it's basically a guy with a fucking PhD in neuroscience talking about the UFC and how it makes money. That's tight. And it's really interesting. Isn't that

Jacob? Doesn't Jacob have a PhD in neuroscience? I think so. Yeah. And now, and he's doing production for chess boxing. Yeah. Yeah, he decided he wanted to do something different. Yeah, sounds like neuroscience PhDers don't really follow the career path very well. That's what D is getting

his in. Our friend who did fucking, that we shot a stand-up And he's doing stand-up. Yeah. He's literally in his PhD. He writes for The Onion. Yeah. That's what it takes. What the fuck is with those people? You just reach your like intellectual Everest and then you can really decide whatever you want to do. That's so interesting.

Or maybe you learn about the brain and you're like, hey, we're all fucking dumb. Let me just do comedy. Let me just do something. I think I'm Ludwig Pilled about travel. What do you do? You're fine. Go ahead. I think I'm Ludwig Pilled about travel, but I'm more aware that I'm wrong. Like, I also just idealize one place, and that's the only place I really care.

It was Japan for a long time. Right now, it's probably Norway. Norge? I want to go there. Why? It's nice, man. Why? Dude want to go there why? it's nice man why? dude don't say that

uh I don't know well actually the real reason is I did a stream like oh my god three houses back and I landed in Geoguessr

in Norway and I was like this is the most beautiful place I've literally ever seen where am I? wow I finally discovered Norway and I was like

well I gotta go here at some point we talked about the podcast I do like the idea of it being bright for that long uh yeah so i still want to go but the more i go places the more i'm like oh places i thought i wouldn't care about that much i actually end up really liking but i think i'm like i should just travel for the sake of it and not like care about only going like i really i wanted to go back to japan the second i left i was like that's gonna be the next place i go i'm gonna go back and then the more i traveled i was like okay i'll go back

at some point but i should probably prioritize other trips norway is one of the few places that you were about to go to on your own yeah i was gonna go to samaylon fuck man i wish i went was samaylon i'm trying to remember it's like smash camp in the arctic circle no it's yeah it's exactly what he described it's like a bunch of norwegians doing smash in the Arctic Circle. Some of the land is nuts. No, it's, yeah, it's exactly what he described. It's like a bunch of Norwegians doing smash camp in a cabin in like the darkness of the earth.

North of a town called Alta. Is Norge like Spheres where they speak English all very well? Yeah. Also, the fucking Norwegian guys were so funny at Fate uh before covid and stuff god those uh shouts out uh blank the plank and hank oh my god i'm anti-norway why because you're swedish because i'm swedish you hate sweden wait what's the history yeah but even though i'd say

i hate sweden i love sweden over norway it's like man you hate france liverpool i love france you hate sweden no i don't i just wouldn't want to live in sweden why did you leave with the love Sweden over Norway. I see. It's like, man, you would hate France. Liverpool. I love France. You hate Sweden? No, I don't. I just wouldn't want to live in Sweden. Why did you leave with the Swedes? I've just been a Swede. It's not with the Swedes particularly. I do think they're cold people generally. Yeah. They are. What do you mean? Leffen's a treat. And I

think the food's kind of mid. Oh, you don't like fermented fish? That's not even like their main shit. They eat it at every meal. But like, I just think most of their meals is like, it's not that great. Yeah, all they eat are coffee tables. What's that stinky stuff that they put on stuff? Again, back to the fish.

They got like the, it's a lot of fish stuff. The herring. Their big thing is their fish mayo. Oh, they have like the thing in the bottle? That shit is good. Yeah, fish mayo. That shit's good. It's just pretty good. They got like the hairy big thing is their fish mayo no they have like the thing in the bottle that shit is good fish mayo that shit's good she's pretty good they got like the dry crackers no bro they have bilar there you guys ever had that shit it's i'm not doing this it's like i'm eating swedish for car and their little cars better made of marshmallow and they're sour they're fire They love black licorice. Oh, I'm down.

They love potato balls. I liked my mustard that I got that looked like it was Colgate toothpaste and then I brushed my teeth with it. Okay, so you're kind of agreeing with me that their food maybe is not... No, it was more about the packaging. If it tastes like toothpaste, I'm in. I wouldn't

i wouldn't brush my teeth with heinz here it was more of an experiment i wouldn't put them top 10 what are we gonna do in japan dude nahonga you're gonna watch a different netflix show i realized that when i went to japan it was like fuck italy by the way fuck you guys and fuck Italians bro your last name is Bruno I know Italy was one of the most fun trips I've ever been on I did not want to go I did not want to go I had to go and you guys roasting me all day for it you didn't do anything to like even test the waters of having fun why would I you showed me what it's like to be a parent, and I'm, I'm rueing the day that it'll happen because I still want kids, but it was like, it was like, I don't want to go. And it's like, you'll have fun.

And you're like taking this kid on a trip to like a fucking beautiful place. No, fucking Fortnite time out there. I don't want to fucking go out. And then you go to the place and then the kid does everything in their power to have a bad time. And then they, uh oh, have a bad time. And you're like, I didn't even try. I didn't have a bad time.

You didn't even try. There has literally never a bad time. You didn't even try. There has literally never been a time that you have done the thing you say you hate and then not liked it. You always like it. That is true. So that's the reason. When you say, why should I? That's the reason. Because you always end up being wrong.

I had a fine time. But I'm saying I was justified in wanting to go home that bad because I didn't want to go in the first place. You just want to stay at home and lay on the floor and fuck somebody in Mish. That's all you want to do in a week. Yeah. Is that so wrong? Is that not the American dream? You know what we need to do?

Okay, this is the level of wealth you need. Anytime we plan a trip somewhere, we build a replica of your room in that place. Turn the heat up, get your laptop. Just a little slime room in like an. Turn the heat up. Get your laptop. Just a little slime room in like an apartment in Florence. Yeah. And he's just in that room and he's like, Florence is great.

I loved every second of it. I looked out the window and there was a cool coliseum and then I looked to the right and it was my space heater. Yeah. Pay attention. You smell like hot fucking dookie garbage poopy butt. Your poopy ass butt smells like poopy garbage. You need to pay attention when we talk to your stinky, stinky mouth. Do you get it?

You leave like a green trail, like a cartoon. And everyone goes, P.U. Is that Aiden's stinky butt? Do you understand what you're like to be around with? Do you understand that we have to vouch for you when we talk to people that you don't know and we don't know? We have to be like, that's our guy. Guys, Native Deodorant's a proud sponsor of this podcast and the button series at Cut.com. You don't know we have to be like that's our guy guys native deodorant's a proud sponsor of this podcast and the button series at cut.com you don't know they hate long lists of ingredients

on hygiene products and we do too so you can check out native deodorant and use it for your body well you know what i hate that aiden doesn't use deodorant i do hate that i hate that i have to tell people he's like kind of european what i don't like is how he says he says it's like your people every time I say he smells bad. Yeah, and he specifically doubles down on your people. Yeah. And I'm like, what do you mean by that? And it's like Ludwig may be French and disgusting, but at least he smells good.

Yeah, and I have aluminum-free deodorant because I use Native, which uses natural ingredients. Idiot. Yeah, you ever been at the market and you're walking, you look over, you see deodorant stick, you're like that one looks kind of nice and cool and good branding. It's usually Native. Do you remember that one? Plus, they also have ingredients like coconut oil, shea butter, baking soda.

They're also 72-hour odor protection, which is 72 more hours than you ever have. Gets you through special... You'll have to live, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to fucking kill you, bro. They have it sent for everybody, so... You know what I'm saying? How about you get some warm cider

and cinnamon? How about you read some of the flavors out warm cider and cinnamon how about a little more enthusiasm what else cashmere rain that sounds nice what else give me something toasted though toasted marshmallow

vanilla yeah but let's get wild let's get wild wildwood and cardamom. Which one do you like the best? Which one would you wear if you actually fucking used deodorant? I'm trying to card your mom.

I'm trying to see what age she is because I want to get her birthday present. I'm not stinky. I'm not... Bro, you smell so bad. Let's keep it fucking simple. Go to nativedeo.com slash the yard

And use promo code the yard And what do you get, Ludwig? 20% off your first order So just nativedeo.com slash the yard I don't need that Does that sound good for you? I don't need to go there Is that enough for you?

I don't need to go there Our viewers probably don't need it either By that logic Everybody needs it Hold on Everybody needs it Everybody needs it Is this not enough? Is 20 needs it. Let's not talk about our viewers like that. Everybody needs it.

Is this not enough? Is 20% off nativedo.com slash shityard not good enough for you? Oh, should we have more patrons? Maybe ask for more patrons in gravel because you're too broke. 20% off's not enough. You're disgusting. Yeah, in gravel. What are we talking about?

You're disgusting, man. All right, look. I'm going to go there. I'm going to go back to the episode now to see you there. I realized when I went to Japan episode now to see you there I realized so I went to Japan it was really I didn't

at the time it was a while ago it was like 2018 2017 and it was when you got his present that he hates

2018 oh Mario Party was it that no it was before that no it was way before that it was yeah cause it was from Tokyo it was before that. No, it was way before that. Yeah, because I was from Tokyo.

It was before I got that in America. It was before I started my job at BTS. I went and I was really hard to figure out what to do as someone who's never been there and as someone who doesn't know anyone who lived there or has been there at the time. So when I went, I wrote

a tour guide. I wrote a guide for people who go like me who don't know what to do uh after i went and i was like oh i can give that to ludwig when he goes and he'll have like everything that i saw that i liked but i realized now that he just has so many more friends there who know way more than i will ever know yeah or ever saw and i'm like oh this is not useful to him and i realize that's everything now because if i get him like a little game he has infinite money he can buy himself the better more mint condition game i just or if i oh my god go ahead everything is like that i just figured something out i can't help you what did you figure out i just figured out why you like sea dog so

much because he just lives in japan like he lives in like france i'm like no if he lived in like iowa yeah you would not give a shit about him that much oh my god i understand it he's just incredibly personable and like he's a cool dude and it's crazy that it's none of that right it's crazy that it's this so many like fostering this friendship just so when i go to japan i have like a tour guide i think he's great i genuinely do but i think that that's why you've invested so much into the friendship. I realize that Slime doesn't understand why Ludwig loves people that aren't him. No.

I also have more friends in Japan. Like who? Not Retro Gaijin. Wait, why not? He's the one who's giving me the Moped. Chris Broad. He's moving back. He's moving in March, though.

Oh. Retro Chris. Chris Broad. Chris has sent me many messages. I've been very excited. I'm very excited to see Chris. He's so nice, by the Oh. Retro. Chris. Chris has sent me many messages. I've been very excited. Very excited to see Chris. Everyone else in Trash Taste. You know who's gonna be there? Oh, we're there. Omid. No way.

We get to hang out with Omid. Also, Toph. What the fuck? Toph will be in Japan with his girlfriend. That's cool. Dude, there's a fiance. Fucking New Year's, we're talking about Japan and like random streamer X and Y keeps coming up like, oh, Japan, yeah, I'll see you there. We're going on the same trip.

And so many random fucking people are going. Atriok's going. Atriok's going, yeah. What? Fuck this. No, god damn it. Fuck. So you want it to feel like home, but you don't want to see Atriok?

Why would I want to see Atriok? Dude, I can't handle him walking by and fucking, yo, they got fucking Kirby's here? That's fucking serious. I can't. I can't do it. You don't want that? I cannot be in the same country as H-Rod.

This fucking rum is fucking delicious. Oh, this fucking rum is nasty. No, they put a fucking egg in there. I'm hungers. I can't do it. I can't see it's going to. Yeah. Oh, I'm squirting.

I'm pretty hungry, H-Rod. You want to eat an to. Yeah. Oh, I'm squirting. I'm pretty hungry. H-Rock, you want to eat an 11 squirts? Get a little ramen in us. H-Rock, there's no squirts in that. My pussy's hungry for some ramen, H-Rock. My pussy's starving. I don't know why you're complaining. Dude, you're going to fucking love.

I'm not complaining. You can go to a nine-story arcade and everyone's smoking cigarettes and you can play fighting games. No, I only started complaining when you said the A word. But otherwise, I'm pretty hyped. I'm'm genuinely asking what are we gonna do there i uh have basically the first 10 days slotted as week one is tokyo we have to do the yard twice there's a couple other uh stream things i want to do that will maybe be that time period we're gonna reenact ninja turtle sex museum with trash taste though then the next three days i want to go to hokkaido and ski and also go to the snow festival because they have a snow festival it sounds like it's gonna be a lot of there's an enormous group

and we randomly split up and do different things all the time yeah i kind of like i've left basically like maybe like one week to just i'll do whatever with anyone down for anything. And then the rest of it, like last week, I'm just hanging out with Connor. The second last week, I'm just hanging out with Cutie. And then I have to. Yeah, she's going for that like Valentine's Day week. And then and then the Hokkaido thing. But the first week I'm open salute, which is why it's awkward, because why so many streamers are going is because I've

told everybody in my life I'm going to Japan so that nobody thinks I'm free. Right. And then they're like, well, we'll be there. And then I'm allowed to book it. But what I didn't expect is when I tell everybody, they're like, I want to go to Japan. And one of those people is Hasan. Who's great. I like Hasan.

He's great. He doesn't want to hang out with Hasan. I do want to hang out with Hasan. You heard it for your first Radstads. Print it. Ship it. Ship it to all over the place. Here's what kept happening is the song's like, what are we doing for our Japan trip? And I could tell that he wanted me to plan the Japan trip for both of us.

And I was like, he was, I kept being like, I'll be there this time. Down to hang. But he needs like more like of a planner. and he kind of wanted me to like plan a japan trip and be like like yeah we're gonna irl this day this day we're going here this day we're doing this and i was like i was like i'm not doing all that i got my trip i'll be i'll be open a hang for this period this period was talking about it so damn much me yeah i think i needed to because if i didn't then people wouldn't know I'm in Japan, because I didn't book it until everybody believed I was in Japan.

Aren't you streaming while you're there? Yeah, I have to. I'm getting a setup. They'll find out. Wow. You're the prettiest girl at the dance. Star Forge is sending me a PC there. Wow.

Thanks, Tibbs. That's cool. Yeah, it should be tight. I got an apart hotel. No. Shit huge. It's a thousand square feet. Isn't that that shit that happened in South Africa?

That's exactly what I was thinking. What? Yeah. no shit huge it's a thousand square feet isn't that that shit that happened in south africa you shouldn't support that i know i shouldn't i know i shouldn't but like at this point hogwarts legacy kind of goes it's fun it's fun oh fuck one of our first interactions ever was you sending me that guide to Japan, by the way. Wow. I think the first time I ever talked to Nick on the internet was him sending me the guide. It was because we talked about it at Smash Summit. We were talking about when we were doing some planning stuff for Japan, for us, as the yard conglomerate. It's funny because we're very sensitive to the idea that this is extremely special for Ludwig. So we'll be like, the we can do this and this.

But this day's for you. This part's for you and for you to be a child at Disneyland. And we can do this this day. And it's very sweet. We know how much it means to him. Oh, you have fun. And we just want him to have the best time of his life ever. I got a moped, so I'm chill.

All I need to do is I basically watch these TikToks and it's like spirited away soundtrack. And then it's just like, like pile of leaves in Japan. And every time I watch, I'm like, that's, it's like the most innocuous. It's like house and clothes hanging up. And it's like, and I'm like, yep. That's so God. You're such a guy. I just want to ride at sunset with my moped.

I mean, to be fair, that's what I enjoy doing now. You're like a balding 40-year-old dude in a Chad's body. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm loving with my car right now. I realize right now I love driving. You like driving? So I'll just get in my car, and then I'll go drive somewhere with, like, I don't even

know where I'm going to go. And I just sit in my car, and I'll sit in my car for like an hour. And I'll be like, all right, I'll get out and find something. And I'll go get somewhere with like I don't even know where I'm gonna go and I just sit in my car and I'll sit in my car for like an hour and I'll be like alright I'll get out and find something and I'll go get coffee or something. It's way ethical too because it's electric.

You don't have to feel like shit. Mine's not. No. But good MPG. It's a scooter. 50s? I don't think it's.

50 MPG? It's not bad. I think you're fine. Also there's a threat that you might die on it which kind of balances out the carbon footprint. 100%. The environment's fighting you and you're fine. Also, there's a threat that you might die on it, which kind of... Bounces out. I will die on it. I will die on it.

The carbon footprint, yeah. 100%. The environment's fighting you and you're fighting back. It's like melee. Yeah. Yep. Would you be sad? Of course I'd be sad.

Pussy. Don't ask me that. Fucking loser. I can't even joke about not being sad if you died in a moped accident. Remember I told you, I listened to the fucking Christmas album, and I just went through a simulation that, like, as if you were dead already, and I was like

this is all I have to remember my friend by. His Christmas album? Not the hours and hours of footage. Yeah, because I don't want to watch you ranking fucking Charlie's best YouTube videos. I want to listen to you talk about fucking Saint Nick, bro. That'd be good though. Say Nick Yeah, we're gonna put octodad in a

Classic s here. Do you have a plan to make videos in Japan for your channel that aren't stream cutdowns? Yeah Devin the guy who did Ludwig versus the sushi 1v1 that is clever. Yeah, Clevin. No Devin But clever, it's, Devin Clevin It's just Devin With a D? I didn't know someone Actually named that I thought they were all Kevin

Yeah It's not He's Anyway, he's We're gonna Try to do one with him Like a Ludwig versus Against Hasan

And then I'm thinking Wait, so Hasan is going He's going Oh, right And I'm doing content with him And I don't want to But I'm thinking So Hasan is going He's going Oh right And I'm doing content with him And I don't want to But I'm gonna

So this is a few rehearses with him And then And then I have the band That I hired once I forget his name Like Katsuya Anyway

He's the guy who made Like Dolphin Shoals And Coconut Mall For Mario Kart And I hired him to make songs before And I don't to make songs before. I don't want to hire him again,

but then I want to show up and film and vlog it and maybe run that with Schlatt. Oh, this is insane. Fuck he's going on. He doesn't talk to us anymore. He just says, the stands are squirting and I'll be there soon. Yeah.

Cause I think it'd be a good way. Cause we have new music. We're cooking up for the Ludwig and Schlatt musical for you We're in the studio We're cooking I can play you some of our bangers You want to hear one of our bangers? Yeah I do

Can I change my fight so we can fly together? So we can fly? Fuck now I'm excited about Japan Were you not? I just didn't think about it at all It's a lullaby There's actually a fucking dope immortal technique verse in this Anyway I've been cooking that one up for a while

That's probably like two years in the studio What are the other tracks in the song Like the other instruments That's like track one of it That's yeah Wait what There's 12 12 tracks

Oh no it sounds great it sounds good it's good right yeah you guys like that shit you know what i'm saying he's the next guy uh anyway yeah it'll be fun man i i last time i went to japan didn't have a lot of money uh so i'm excited to go back and be able to afford stuff because that will be more fun i can't believe it's going to be a fucking streamer sucking fuck fest also to answer your question there's a good planet money episode about the the the value of gift giving especially to people who just buy what they want or like have incredible like money to buy whatever they want and the result was that usually it's buying things that

people don't know that they want because it takes time to know what you want for anything in the world like to know that you want that is is it requires effort and then two there's a level of work required to get things um like what no matter what it is like there's some that are easier like amazon one click but then one might be's some that are easier like amazon one click but then one might be like an ebay thing like that one time i had remember that gum i got you yep like that was just work checking that was the sweetest thing that ludwig has ever done for me or like when i got you a figurine of a female anime character in a jar you yeah could undress that was weird and she. Can you actually look up

welcome to the NHK girl age? I didn't know this. I also didn't know that the clothes came off. Do you read descriptions of items when you buy them? I was being thoughtful. No, no, I actually love the game. You had thoughts in your head.

Oh. Well, it's been some time. Let, you had thoughts in your head. Oh, okay. It's been some time. Let's look at the images, though, real quick, just to double-check that 18-year-old mark. Okay. Yeah. Do you think this was a chill thing to get another adult man?

I didn't know who this was. I just knew I asked a different friend of ours what Ludwig's favorite anime was. They said, welcome to NHK and I was like I bet Japan has some sort of like exclusive figurine from this anime because I know Ludwig only has like one piece one and I found that on eBay and then upon giving it to Ludwig found out that you can undress her. You should have clicked the Google Translate on that page. That is

so... I don't like that you can also change the pose after you've undressed her. She's got two sets of arms. One for the umbrella and one for a holding bag. If you click the translate, it just says, it translated, it just says you can fill it up

as much as you want. Just be fucking normal. Why did you bring up the gift thing? Because you had said I can never get anything for Ludwig about the Japan guide. I can never do anything for Ludwig. I think all of us struggle with gifts for you.

Even if you were a normal person. I think the question here, I actually had this whole conversation recently. I think that you're right and that video's with gifts for you yeah i think even if you were a normal person i think the question here i actually had this whole conversation recently i think that you're right and that video's conclusion is right in that getting someone a gift that they don't know they want yet is a good form of gift to get for someone like you but you your things that you're into and that you like waver and change so much so quickly and you find things like that and become obsessed with them and then you become obsessed with them and then you buy the thing you want for it immediately,

and then you get over it. But I think it's hard to know what you want before you do. You don't value things in the same way like a normal person would, even before you were fucking loaded. Yeah, that's true. So it's like, it's like, I don't like things.

It makes the gift-giving process like, oh, this, you know, not in like a, you're a dick sort of way, it's just like, it's probably gonna end process like, oh, this, you know, not in like a, you're a dick sort of way. It's just like, it's probably gonna end up on the floor or in the closet and it's never gonna matter again, which is like, okay, well, why put a lot of effort in, right? It's really easy to get you novel things that you're into right when you get them. That is easy.

I will say the gift I got you for this episode, because I did my work. I did my work. I didn't come in time, bro. What do you want? I think it perfectly exemplifies this philosophy that you just described and you're really going to like it. Next week, everyone is exchanging gifts. The gift I got you, fire.

The gift I got you, practical. And Aiden, you also have a gift. Dude, all the comments on the last episode about the fucking bracelet it's like so fucked up i'm not mad at me for real and i was like i was like look i fucking hate you guys but you're right about this one that's fucked up bro i like my bracelet it's less fucked up now that you're not wearing yours no yeah i mean i misunderstood bro if i if we kept wearing it to be insane that'd be insane. That would be mean.

I hung it up in the car and it'll live there until that car goes away. Well, no, you just take it off when you tell the car. Nope. It dies with the car. It dies with the car.

Don't get attached to things, bro. It's like a sticker on a CSGO gun. Don't get attached to things. Things can go away. Should've seen me when me and Yingling were cleaning out my closet. Oh.

Because I just get a lot of clothes from like sponsors Or whatever And I was just what Huh What's up When we moved out of the old Old house And we had to clean your room

Cause you just up and left That was fucking annoying And I found where I'm like going through all the garbage On your fucking floor And I where I'm like going through all the garbage on your fucking floor and I find I'm like, what's that? It's a purple vibrator. We had to pick it up like a dog poopy with like a little tissue. It was like a sock

and monsters ink. And you just fucking left it there. It was so annoying. Me and Aiden were like, are you kidding me? We had to clean the house out. Because you could have at least got the vibrator. I miss it. I wish I still had it. I'm sure Yingling's working his way through a box of those on the way out. I miss it. I wish I still had it. I'm sure Yingling's working his way through a box of those on the way out. It was all clothes.

It was all clothes. But we entered in and we were like, we're going to be heartless. And so I just kept chucking shit out. But then Yingling cracked. He's like, oh, dude, not the Duke Fetro shirt. And I was like, bro, it is a blue shirt with a V on it. We can reprint it if Duke gets mad

You got rid of it? I did shit That's what Marie would want What do you fucking want? He's got a Maserati He's got a Maserati he's fine I'm allowed to think that you're evil And you're allowed to throw away church

That's it You keep my pants that I gave you? Yeah I like those pants I got like two items that I would be sad if I lost them. Maybe three. What are they?

My dad's ring. Okay. Which you lose all the time. Which is crazy because you just leave it on the floor. You literally leave it. Like Swift's gonna eat it one day.

And you'll be like, it'll still come out. Where is it? It's not like he's gonna chew it up. It's not like you're gonna sit and watch him poop for the gold part.

I love watching him poop outside of the ring. And then two, probably I got a stuffed animal when I was a kid. You still have it? Ziggy, yeah.

Aw, that's cool. I think so actually, I don't know where he is. In an amen's pants? Wait, wait, wait. Don't we have three things in general?

Not clothing items, like just things? Yeah, I think just things. Like if everything else disappeared, I think it, because I can replace

almost anything else. Yeah. Like I like this jacket a lot of a hoarder i could replace this jacket though yeah i think being agile and not having a lot of stuff has always made me feel comfortable and uh i try to keep that going but like i have a couch now it's fucked up i don't like it what i like having a couch yeah stop buying couches on the internet wait sit on your couch i'm sorry what what do you not like about your couch? You just don't like how it feels? No, my couch is great that I have now, but I bought one. In general, I don't care how comfy my couch is.

I just don't like the idea of having one. Does that make sense to you? Why not just leave it? I could. I'll just leave it. But I also feel guilty doing that, right? It's like now I'm just leaving my debris for the world. Do you still have it?

The first one? No, I gave it to Vindy right when i uh when i was moving out of my dorm in college moving to california i just got a rental car and i just put everything in the rental car and like there's a few things that didn't fit and it's like my mattress and like my bed frame and like my couch and i had like people pick up whatever they wanted but there's still i think at the end of it my bed and bed frame left. And so I just put the bed frame in the hall and I just waited like 30 minutes, hour,

hour and a half. Eventually some dude just walks up, goes like, Oh, just takes it. Wow. People just take shit. It's crazy.

They'll take fucking anything. And then it just disappeared. And I was like, and I was like, and I do with the bed frame, same dude. He's like, Oh, and I was like, all right, it with a bed frame. Same dude. He's like, oh. And I was like, alright, he had to come up.

I had to come up. Win-win. Let's go. Well, dude, there's a whole, there's a whole, like, subculture of finding, like, really expensive office chairs, like Herman Miller's, that people just dump on the, like, the street. And then just, like, refurbishing them and flipping them. You could probably also just use the warranty. I think it's a 10-year. For hundos. Yeah. I mean, they're

really expensive. And people, like, like, your average corporate fuckhead does not know that these are $1,400 chairs. Right. And so they just go outside and then people come up. So if you ever see those office chairs and you're trying to get some bread, take them home. Pick it up. Take it home yourself. I'm trying to be her man, Miller. Imagine your name's Miller, though.

Imagine. Yeah, you almost hit the falcon punch bro That was so crazy That was insane It was crazy Oh shit bro Also went to Bobby Scar's birthday this weekend And Valkyrie's birthday

We didn't get the invite Of course not I've done a lot for Bobby Scar What if you Yo you just mercilessly talk shit on him Not mercilessly talk shit on him? Not mercilessly. Deserved. Yeah.

It's not merciless. Also when I saw him I talked about I said everything up to his face and then we talked about his problems and then I

you know what I said to Bobby Scar don't be so hard on yourself. You're right. You should have gotten invited. You should be so hard

on yourself. Let me do that. Yeah. Let me be hard on you. Yeah. Because it's annoying when you do it. Let me be the truth. How was it? Did you have a good time? I invited to his birthday. You should be so hard on yourself. Let me do that. Yeah. Let me be hard on you. Yeah. Because it's annoying when you do it. Let me be the truth. How was it?

Did you have a good time? I went to the casino. I got rinsed. I found this new game called Ultimate Texas Hold'em, which I've always walked by. It's like one of those table games that's just guaranteed open. It's always open. It's fucking terrible. They got great minimums.

It's just a coin flip of a Texas hold'em hand and that's it. That's fun. You just gotta pay to stick around. You lost money. I lost 4k. It vanished. It vanished. I thought you were done gambling. I was out until I got pulled

right back in. This is making me feel better. It rationalizes my losses. Isn't that fun? It's making me feel better because it rationalizes my losses. I know. Isn't that fun? Well, here's the sad part. It's another new feeling.

Yeah. He likes it. Yum, yum, yum. What's the fun part? The sad part is that I pulled the money out of a certain Chase account that I have with my mom and my sister, which is from a house that was sold in Sweden that was like a basically passed down like family heirloom for my dead father. And it was that dead father money

that I had pulled out. But I'll put it back. I'll put it back. But it was just easier to pull out of that account. Hey, that money, print it. It's just harder to pull out of the account that Nick Wang looks at because then I'll get a message.

Yeah, don't do that. I know, so I did it. So I pulled out of the dead body so you stole it from the underworld I stole it from the underworld why don't you normal bank account that you have I told my mom and she was like that doesn't feel great and I was like I'll win don't worry

don't worry mom I'm gonna give it back to him and I didn't win I know how much goes into your personal account every two weeks why don't you how much goes into your personal account every two weeks. Why don't you use that? Who? Your personal account.

No, dude. This is not who cares. You have access to this. Yep. Yeah. Woo! Why? I was with you.

I was with you. Just tell me why. Just tell me why. Why? Why not that account? It ain't nothing but a mistake. This isn't even my job anymore and it's infuriating.

You are asking questions. It's a good question though. It's harder to pull out of that account. It takes like a day or two. How? Surely not. You haven't tried, have you? No, it is. I don't want to say this on the podcast, but I know tried. It's because you know, it is. I, I don't want to say this.

I don't want to leak because it's going to, it's going to dox me. I can tell you in Archie. I know why. Archie, can you blur it and then put a cowboy hat on slime? I want the can the cowboy hat be getting bigger

as Ludwig explains and also banjo music is playing yeah and while he's talking you hear banjo music yeah well that makes

a lot of sense partner hopefully that clears it up hopefully that clears it up thank you very much oh man I love giving Archie more work for not more money

I just like that part of the podcast where Archie made slime disappear. Dude, he's so good at it. That was great. Why am I the fucking enemy today? I feel like I've been good.

Is that a real question? Yes. Do you want to say something that makes you feel better? Yes. Do you feel sad today? No. Then maybe I'll hold it. I'm just saying, I think-

You're holding on to a compliment? I have a good compliment for you. I brought up a valid thing that was funny and slack, and all of a sudden it's all gun sights on slime. I had a hard day yesterday. Dude, no one asked. No one asked. Why did you have a hard day? Why did I have a hard day?

I'm going to fucking murder you. I actually don't know what happened. Dude, the whole Twitter thing. Oh, that's why? I thought you were having fun. I thought you were impervious. Bro, just close your phone out, Lamao. Just literally turn it off.

How do you decide to be real? Lamao. Tiling the cream. I thought you were having fun. I don't know. It was still taxing emotionally to be reminded of my dead dad every fucking other tweet. I thought you enjoyed it, which is why you kept doing it. I feel like part of you just likes...

No, I just wanted to win. Yeah, you know how to win. Winning isn't fun sometimes. Yeah. And I didn't. Did you win? No. Did you have fun?

No. Oh, I thought you won. Damn. I didn't win. Because if someone tells you that they're going to fucking kill you in real life, and they're a random, and you're someone who has a following You don't win you know what I mean You just have to hold that

And wonder if it's real What if you find them Then what am I gonna do Take back what's yours Only if we're on a plane You got a problem coming for you I have a problem coming for me What

We're going to Japan and you won't be able to watch Squib Game Because theirflix is in japanese dude you're not gonna be able to watch squib game on vacation like you always fucking do yeah you're not gonna be able to sit in the hotel in tokyo japan like one of the cultural hubs of the world and just watch the squib game like you always do oh no you know what you can do actually he can get a vpn whoa you got a vpn you can watch squib game yeah i know no that's why i wasn't worried at all you think your problem for me that you made up actually existed It doesn't because I can use Nord VPN you dumb bitch cap cap. What is cap? Yo, that's cap

I can literally use it name two things It doesn't idiot it protects your information when you surf the web from who like I surf on your fucking such pay as web Isn't safe and it has a 30-day money-back guarantee. Look, it will stop the Japanese governments from seeing where you're going. And by the government, I mean the ISPs. And they're a little bit strict around those parts. So if you want to watch Naruto Season 2

Episode 3 on Dailymotion, this is your ticket. Yeah, you don't have to watch a YouTube upload where it's only one-fourth of the screen and the rest is just purple stuff. And it's all pitched two octaves up. You don't need to watch a YouTube upload where it's only one-fourth of the screen and the rest is just purple stuff. And it's all pitched two octaves up. You don't need to do that. Facts are Nord is quick, easy to switch servers during use, and has 30-day money-back guarantee.

One account lets you use up to six devices, which includes all of us and Zipper. I'm not telling you to account share, but I'm just saying I don't know what you're doing in your free time. No one knows who you are. Six devices, one account? Yeah, I don't got six devices. You know what I mean? I'm not telling you to account share, but I'm just saying I don't know what you're doing in your free time. No one knows who you are. Six devices, one account? Yeah, I don't got six devices. You know what I mean? I'm him, but times six. All right, Logan Paul.

Anyway, take control of your internet experience with NordVPN. You get a two-year plan with a huge discount, one month free. You go to nordvpn.com slash the yard. Hey, what's one month free for the rest of your life privacy? You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying, bro. Hey. If I could get a free month when it's all said and done.

NordVPN.com slash the yard. Well, I'll make it up to you. I'll make your day a little brighter. What's up? I talked to Jerma. Yeah? Had a chat with him. And he was telling me about how he watches the yard.

Really? Yeah. He watches a couple of episodes of the yard. He was like, how had us rolling we were laughing really hard oh and i was like just like perchance who did you think was like really funny no give it to him man said you were top two no no i don't want to hear it specifically number one no funniest guy thought you thought you were a little ball of chaos Dermot?

Mm-hmm That's Dermot's style Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Little chaos ball Yeah, man, because we're fucking 46, bro We gotta stick together You guys are old

We're old as shit You're younger, though You're a step below I'm younger enough There's a level There's older? Yeah, like Nick Allen, Dermot Nick Allen tier, Jerma tier

Bobby Scar age, that tier Bobby Scar The president They're all 36 Bobby Scar's 36? Yeah That can't be true I was at his birthday party

I was gonna say it Wait a minute, he does know now You kinda started with that You sang it Yeah, they're old, old Oh Well, that's nice of Jerma to say Anyway, there you go

Dane Brighton's mission accomplished I like Jerma Well, Well, that's nice of Derma to say. Anyway, there you go. Day Brightened. Mission accomplished. I like Derma. Well, okay. We know what you're up to. You do anything fun this past week? Get a little crazy? No, dude.

I didn't do fucking anything. I haven't done anything. Miserable. You're fucking miserable. I don't play video games anymore. And when he does, he gets angry. Okay. No, it was just that one.

What did you do? It was that one interaction. You working out? Huh? You working out? I got back into climbing. Oh. I'm back. I'm back do? It was that one interaction You working out? Huh? You working out? I got back into climbing Oh I'm back

I'm back I'm better than ever You back back? Yeah I don't know man I don't do shit man I just work But I like it You sound like you do

You sound really hot You sound good Great time though You sound really good You sound sick It's like chill to catch up This is great What about you, bro?

What about me? Yeah. Aiden doesn't leave his room. Dude. Is this true? Aiden doesn't leave his room. He's like me. Aiden become Nick?

That was Ludwig's biggest problem with Nick when we all lived together. Don't kiss it. Ew. Yeah, that and the kitchen sink. But yeah, that was OG OG. I'm in my little My little gremlin era Right now Your room is fucked up

Disgusting It's a little less fucked up now He cleaned it He cleaned it up What Why What's your gremlin era mean You just play video games all day

I think I am just Gaming I think I just wanna Be in my room And game Or hang out with Girlfriends You look like you got

Electrocuted Yeah why you do this To yourself Are you depressed Me Yeah No and game or hang out with girlfriends. You look like you got electrocuted. Yeah, why do you do this to yourself? Are you depressed? Me? Yeah. No. Your hair looks like a porcupine.

No. Wow. If you said yes, would you have still followed up with that? Yeah. Okay. We're not sure how dependent it was on what he said. No, I'm leaving a very boring life right now. We went to a party this weekend. I played big chess with Zeke.

They had the big human-sized chess piece game on the ground outside. You diced his stupid ass? I diced him, and then I said, that's the checkmate they use in the tutorial for chess. Dude. Because he was like, how'd I do? I said, that's the one they play in the tutorial. Here's what to look out for.

This is what checkmate looks like. You hit him with a tutorial island. It was probably the most fun game of chess I've ever played. The whole time we were bantering. And then we would yell out, Wilnef said what about Syria? Because we were outside. And some people would look. It was good.

I didn't say anything about Syria. I think it's fine. He had a bit there. I don't even know if I should say it. He had a bit where I said that. I don't know why he brought it up, but he kept saying like, yeah, I'm just looking for young dick. And I was like, well, a little quieter on that bit.

And then he laughed. I don't think he understood. And then he kind of got it. He was like, he got why he shouldn't have said it that loud, but then he said it louder. Yeah. And he just kept being like. That's the yes and in him He kept putting it I'm like alright

I'm going back to chess Where do you think They got those weapons That's Syria Yeah Yeah But it was a It was a good

It was a good party I wish the two of you went Oh you couldn't have Because you were gone I was out Yeah Yeah Andre did a DJ set Yeah At the party Two of you went. Oh, you couldn't have because you were gone. I was out. Yeah. Andrea did a DJ set.

Yeah. At the party? Yeah. Which was deep. Was it like effective? Yeah. Did people dance? Yeah, that was when the most people were on the dance floor. She's kind of an all-star talent, huh?

Yeah. That's crazy. What did she play? Did she play- How's Mini Lad? DJ got his fallen- You didn't know? You didn't look it up? No. I didn't look it up. I didn't understand what you were saying. Oh, I don't know what you meant. You didn't know? You didn't look it up?

No, I didn't understand what you were saying. Oh, I don't know what you meant. He's a YouTuber? Yeah, the skinny of it is he's a YouTuber. He's a YouTuber who's a bit of a nonce. A nonce? He's a bit of a nonce. He's British, too.

Bit of a nonce. I think he's a verified nonce. He's nonce-pilled. And like, apologize. He's like, was a nonce. But he's just back to making content's nonce-pilled And like apologize He's like Was a nonce But he's just back To making content I don't think you get to

Yeah I mean If you don't get arrested How are you using The word nonce Like a pedophile Okay you mean it that way Yeah Okay

Which is the way And then So this guy's just back To fucking playing Among Us And everyone's like He did his time Some people are back to that Dude do you guys hear about that It was circling So back to that. Dude, do you guys hear about that?

It was circling, so I think everyone probably saw it, but you guys hear about that shit about fucking Daylight NBC, fucking, not Daylight NBC, Catch Predator, how it ended?

Yeah. So, well, I don't, I've learned that when you see things on Twitter, maybe they're not 100% true, but I did see that. The only reason I believed it was because it was on

the wiki for the show. Okay, yeah, the show fucking ended because uh one of the people who they caught who was like i think a cop or like a there's someone in the force i think it was like a yeah it was some sort of like a government yeah some sort of some sort of like person on the force something just shot themselves in the fucking head yeah yeah after getting caught on the show uh police attempted to serve him with a search warrant after being caught talking to exchange pictures with the with the i'm not sure how true this part is but i think it happened like right when he got caught like he was just like he was just like film i mean the show's not live but like they were right but they were filming the show and he was like oh ggs like you got me boop

and then a flower came out why did they cancel it and then and he was like, oh, GG. He's like, you got me. Boop. And then a flower came out. Why did they cancel it? And then someone, I guess, later on asked Chris Hansen, do you feel bad? DJ Vlad. Was it DJ Vlad? That's so funny. And he was like, how do you fucking feel? Do you have any guilt?

And he's like, I sleep great at night. Yeah, that's so raw. Yeah. That feels like the best outcome of an episode. Like, if that episode happened and it's like hey You really were trying to hook up with this 13 year old you're 40 and then he killed himself is like Like and this Chris Hansen with to catch Yeah, it's very

This was so fucking clean, bro Yeah, it's very rough. Bro, that canon list was so fucking clean, bro. We got there so fast. Someone made a really funny tweet, which was like, the show itself did not require Chris Hansen. He just became this insane harbinger of doom for these freaks. You know what I mean? Because they just see him and they automatically know it's over.

Yeah. And he's just a guy, right? They don't need him. I think it requires him. Well, it doesn't need to be Chris Hansen just need to be some right right he's done vigilantes yeah it has moved on to like the weird youtuber like a predator count yeah yeah which is like them just trying to like entrap whoever and like like the how they basically got EDP 445 they're just trying to bite the go huh

yeah but like it's way more scuffed. Because they'll, like, meet at a parking lot, and they'll just pull up and be like, trying to see a girl, trying to see, we trying to see this 13-year-old girl. Oh, my God. As opposed to, like, I feel like, it's crazy. That's what I got to show you. Do they, like, bring them to the cops, or is it all street justice? No, it's usually street justice.

And, like, the fact that we have filmed you is the punishment because it will go viral and that's, I think, why the people do it in the first place. Wow. And maybe some people are good faith actors too and then I think maybe they're like,

I'm calling the cops and then they're usually gone by the time it happens. I think the thing that To Catch a Predator had is the professionality of the news crew and Chris and the police were already outside. Yeah. You couldn't escape.

It wasn't like there was an opportunity to like, you know, everything was going to be done. This is just some guy's Facebook page that you're on. So it's like, unless you happen to get really popular, which also would rely on like you having an active following for your pedophile vigilante Facebook page damn it feels like the

consequences are a little zipper can you find the clip of chris hanschen chris hansen on the beach with the guy it it's like the funniest clip from that show i don't want to fucking explain it and ruin it but this guy i feel like at some point they got they started getting like creative with the show we're like he didn't just come in and be like, I'm Chris Hansen. He would just come in with like a bit. Yeah. He like paraglide in. Yeah.

He would like do some shit. I don't know if you can find this clip, but it is so fucking funny. He is actually, I think the closest thing to Batman in real life. He literally is like, it's like when you appear, when he appears before you, you know, fear, right? Like, cause you've been, you've been caught. Yeah. Cause like it's over.

Okay. Zipper look up to catch a predator. Good news, bad news. Cause he's just like, Oh man, it's so fun. Cause he's just a fucking guy.

Try to find the shortest clip you can. Dude. Oh, it's so fucking funny. What's the, what, what is that? Like the end game of what have Mr. Beast started doing that?

It's not the end game of content. So that's the end game of content. He's right. I put a thousand pedophiles. And then he leaves the pedophile in Antarctica. Yeah. And he takes him to Antarctica. The next Mark Rober box, but he only gives it to nonces.

Yeah. And he's like, I made this Christmas box that puts fart spray on nonces all around London. I used to work at NASA, but now I make pedophiles smell like shit. Stinky. Ew. Yeah, that's the end game. Never mind. I want Mark Rober's to be better.

You know, in the first episode of To Catch a Predator, the very first one they ever did, they let the guy go because they were like, oh. Everyone was like, in the first episode of To Catch a Predator, the very first one they ever did, they let the guy go because they were like, oh. Everyone was like, what the fuck? Yeah. Wait, what? And then they changed it up. Yeah.

Everything isn't cool. Can you turn it up? Pretty good. How are you doing? Good. How are you? I'm all right. What's happened?

You have two. I was just coming to meet this person. Really? And who's that person? F***, man. I wasn just coming to meet this person. Really? And who's that person? I wasn't going to meet her. I wasn't going to do anything, guys. I promise. Please. I just came to visit this girl. Oh my God.

Dude, I knew this was a setup. I didn't even want to do anything with this girl. Why? That's not what it says. I know. I know. Because I was trying to impress the girl. You were trying to impress a 14-year-old girl. I don't know what i was in the evening i thought

about that nice to have got i wasn't please officer home i've gone with law enforcement you learn soon enough to have to decide if it is still going to come to the other property because i was so worried about all this in the world because i i think it's i've just been really depressed lately, I don't know what I was thinking sir

Every day I can't sleep because I've been thinking this is stupid John. You know how much trouble is Why would you sleep with a 14-year-old girl? And that's why I never wanted to. It's disgusting. Not the funny part. I do not want to be ruined for my... I wanted to go to college and everything. I want to go for sports broadcasting.

Or journalism. You want to be a television reporter. He couldn't be a journalist. Back up, back up. Back up like 10 seconds. Sorry. Just listen to this whole part right here Or journalism you want to be a television reporter? Yes. Have you ever been on TV before? No

Well, this is one of those good news bad news Please tell me hands on the Dateline NBC. And we're doing What About To Catch A Predator. Please tell me you're not. Please. Dude, this guy's life is never going to end. So does he get arrested now? Is that how it ends? I don't know. I feel like they just get arrested.

No, for real. I've read about this. I heard part of their deal, though, is that they serve less time for releasing the rights, I've read about this. They deadass like half- I heard part of their deal though, like part of their deal is that they serve less time for releasing the rights of the footage for the show. Interesting.

Really? Of their person. Yeah, I was wondering how they get the rights. I don't know how true that is, but that's what I heard. It was like, it lessens the blow of their punishment to be, to like say,

yeah, you can put the show up. There is something so universally like fascinating about watching someone like that freak out and then they're like i wasn't gonna do anything and chris hansen just pulls up a piece of paper and then it's like it says you're gonna beep their beep it says here i'm gonna do anything and they're like well that's stupid isn't that crazy i was not i was not planning to have sex with a person it's like i'm planning to have sex with you person. It's like, I'm planning to have sex with you. With you a person.

Squirts, man. No, Chris, take out your phone and type in squirty. All right, everybody. Thanks for watching The Yard this time around. Appreciate it. Beginning and the same way. Do you mean it when you say it? Tune in to the Patreon episode where I'll tell you if I mean it. Everyone point at Ludwig and make your best thumbnail face so I can use it later.

Bye. Ludwigs are not. No. No.