The Yard - Ep. 82 - We spent 24 hours in Japan. It didn't go well.

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

This week, the boys flew to Japan! The boys talk about their trip so far, being Americans in another country, and how slime can become a salaryman in Japan.

we're rolling the tokyo skypants you look good all right i've been saying i've been saying you look i think that you look uh You've been in movies? Okay. I feel like you're like all pure muscle. Yeah. Yeah? Look at that. Okay. Oh, I'm loud. How are the angels doing this season?

My word. All right. Shohei Otani. This is off-season, but... Ohayo gozaimasu. What? I'm saying hello to the viewers. Say welcome back to the yard.

Why don't you say that? How do you say welcome back? It's... What are you asking Aiden for? Sumasen. That's where you go to be naked and bathed. Going to the sumasen? They won't let me in because I'm the white Yakuza.

If you guys ever see Ludwig at an airport, he loves this bit. Just go up to him and be like, you... Do you... Don't do this. Don't do this. You know what's... I'm leaning forward. I can't see Ludwig.

Do you think you could be in a movie? You've been doing this to me the whole travel and then he picked up on it. We were going through the immigration line coming to Japan and it curls 40 times over. Every single time the curl would come I'm just listening to music. I'm just walking.

He'd be like, dude, you could be in a movie. And then every time he'd change it, he'd be like, damn, that's movie material. You're mostly muscle, yeah? You look like a strong guy. We're in the foreigner line just waiting to enter, and everyone's just looking at me. And then he'd be far enough away, and they'd be like, you look good. Yeah.

I had the sound proof noise things on the AirPods, but I can see your mouth being like, movie, movie. I was telling Anthony how you look good is so perfect because it's endearing. I like you. I like you. I like you, man. It's so endearing and nice, but no one would ever actually say it. Okay, well, you know what's crazy?

He likes it, so you should do it if you see him. So you do all this. Anyway, welcome back to The Yard, episode 100, now from Tokyo, Japan! Dude, it's not very scenic. There's not really a lot of things that are like Tokyo. I was like, she walked out. He was telling me not to yell for so long. He was telling all of us not to yell.

I was trying to be hype. He was telling all of us equally. We weren't singling you out. We all need to be quiet. We all need to be quiet. And that means you, too. If singling you out. We all need to be quiet. We all need. And that means you too. If you're watching at home, you need to be quieter. If you're at home, you shut up right now.

But anyway, so we're in Japan. This is day one. We had one night here. And then last night, I went to the bars. And first, it's like basically a bar crawl. And we went to three different bars. All three places, someone said, movie star. No.

Are you kidding me? No, I'm not even. Dude, that is so funny. Movie star. But with an accent. You saw a sub-a-thon, huh? Watch it like a movie. Are they just saying that, or do they recognize that you're Ludwig?

No. God, no. It's just because of the blonde hair, I think. Yeah, you're just also handsome. Hey, let's together quit denying it. Dude, thinking of being a movie star, I was in because of the blonde hair, I think. Oh, yeah, you're just also handsome. Hey, let's together quit denying it. Dude, thinking of movie stars, I was in the hotel room last night, and the TV, very difficult to use. I was trying my hardest.

Trying to find ridiculousness? I was trying to find ridiculousness. I was trying really hard. Dude, it's like... But everything's in Japanese. It's a Japanese ridiculousness. And it's a guy that looks like Rob Dyrdek. And it's like a fax machine instead of a laptop that opens up.

Chanel Shinjuku. She's got like the anime line. Bro, our fucking taxi driver? Dude, dude, hold on really quick.

He was like talking to us and he knows very little English but Aiden's making his best effort actually to like talk to this person like small talk which is really funny. He's like,

oh, you guys from like from America? And he's like, yeah, yeah. Super Smash Brothers. I don't know. He was like, and he was like, from America like yeah, yeah super smash brothers Are you from Los Angeles Los Angeles and then he was like California love He was like, West Side Love. It was so sick. And then he kept saying California Love.

The bro was wearing a suit. He was wearing a suit. He was wearing a suit and driving and just throwing it on the left side. It was so sick. Also, it was really funny because he just kept quietly saying, let's go to himself. So like, we weren't talking. We didn't talk

for like a few minutes he just nodded the front seat go let's go so sick he was just so pumped he was like he didn't know

a lot of English but he managed to communicate a lot and he's like I've been to Hawaii I've been to New York I love America like it's like

and then he's like but then he's like but America also scary also dangerous and then he's like he's like thinking about it for a while and he's like, but America, also scary, also dangerous. And then he's like thinking about it for a while, and he's like, everyone has a gun. While the three of us, me, Aiden, and Jan are like, yup. But you're in the hotel room.

So I'm trying to find ridiculousness on the Japanese TV. Very difficult. And I'm watching this program about, it's just a game show where Japanese people try to learn English. And it's very interesting. Wow. Because it's like, what version of the word slow do you use here? And then the winner gets a point or whatever.

And the two hosts are white people. It's really weird. Okay, the same show, but it's American people learning Chinese. Yo. Right? Yeah. And Aiden's on it. And so I go out like the tv guide and i go to like the hotels like ui and there's all these categories and the first category is movie and i click in

and you have to buy the movies but you have to go to a separate room in the hotel to buy a movie ticket and come back with the code the ticket has on it for that movie it's crazy you can't just buy it in the room and i was like whatever so i go I go and I see that the last tab is adult. And I was like, I've never tried opening one of these in a hotel room. Like, what's behind the curtain? And my girlfriend's in the bathroom.

And so I'm like... So it's party time. So I'm like, let's take a peek. Let's take a peek. Let's see what's up. And in my head, the way that this would go... Tree falls in a forest.

That's what I'm saying. In my head, the way this would go is like you click on it and then it's like, you know, it shows a girl with like censored boobs or something. And it's like, do you want to pay for this, sir? And you go, yes. Yes, I do. And then it's like, well, here is your porn, sir. Yes.

Yeah. But that's not what happened. I just went into it. And it's like, are you 18? Yes or no? And you just go, I mean, I am. So I'm 18. I click yes. And it instantly is a girl sucking penis? Yes or no? And you just go, I am. Sorry, I'm 18. I click yes.

And it instantly is a girl sucking penis. Wow. Instant. Frame one. You don't have to pay? Just sucking penis. Wait, no pay. So is it just live?

Free preview. Is it just live? It was a preview. It was a live stream. It was a preview of a full product, but it was just plain. It was just Kink.com? Wait, was the penis censored? Yes.

Yes, but they're all censored. So what? It wasn't like I was getting half of it. But you couldn't see the lead up to why she started doing that. It started right from the most replayed section, I assume. You don't know if they have a relationship before. I'm not sure if they have been talking. But the volume was really high.

So the volume is on fucking... And I'm like, oh, and I just click back. And then my girlfriend comes out of the bathroom, and she's like, what are you watching? And I'm like, oh, and I just like click back. And then my girlfriend comes out of the bathroom and she's like, what are you watching? And I'm like, they're trying to learn English. And then she's like, Japanese people English. And I'm like, whatever, get out of here. That sounds so weird. It's a tonal language.

It's a tonal language. That actually means, can I have tea, please? He's telling anybody it's a tonal language. Didn't we say that last time? Like, sucking dick is a tonal language or something? I said pussy is a tonal language, but no one acknowledged it. No, I did. I did my mind.

I did. Anyway, you already, we haven't even been here 24 hours. They're talking about how you want to go home. I wasn't. No, you're being a dick. You said that. It's what happened. Because I'm not like saying, ah, I'm bitching and complaining.

To his credit, he said, but I'm trying to shake it off. Yeah, I was like different It'll I like sheepishly admitted that I feel like I want to go home and you're trying to fucking paint them I'm bringing it on trying to paint the media against me getting loud again There's what's in all of us are getting loud all of us together you going? I'm not getting loud I do not care you're talking a lot. You're doing a lot of things in Japan. You gotta stop. I'll scream in this fucking video. I do not care. Yeah, you're talking a lot. You're doing a lot

of things in Japan you shouldn't be doing. Like what? Talking about not being able to go home is one of them. Keep saying that we're not gonna make it back.

If anyone watched the Power Hour. Dude, if anybody watched the Power Hour, you need to know that about 15 minutes got cut because we just

kept talking. We just, there was one, there was two sentences back to back where I'm like. I had to tell Anthony, I'm like, so when we, when we record with Trash Taste next week, they know the government. Like you can't. Well, I can't tell Trash Taste to their face that I don't think I'm going to make it back home. Why are you not going to make it back?

You're going to miss your flight. What's going to, what's going to stop you from making it? This is such a date. I don't like this bit. I don't like this bit. I'm Eric Andre at the Grizzly Bear right now. I'm no longer a fan of this bit. Just remember that I can always make you feel this way.

If you're a Patreon member, you know. You know why he won't make it home and the rest of us will. I'm not making it back. Apparently, I'm not making it home either. I want to go home. Well, you guys are the same. You're obviously not making it home. You're not making it home and the rest of us will. I'm not making it back. Apparently I'm not making it home either. I want to go home. You're obviously not making it home. You're not making it home. You don't have what it takes.

We're throwing you under the bus. Under the Shinkansen. That's right. He just keeps talking and we're getting on the plane and we're not coming back. I was like, I'm going to have a blunderbuss. Because we're patriots. How does that go? It's like comically, me and you are patriots.

How about your next taxi driver? And we have tri-corner hats. And he's like, oh, blunderbuss, cool. Dude, someone threw themselves in front of a train here, and it delayed the bus, or delayed the train. Like to kill themselves? The Express. No, to go to a party.

Yeah, to fucking kill themselves. That's the thing about it, idiot. And it only delayed the train by 30 minutes. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, no, but like they said the reason.

They explained it. They explained the reason. It was your train, though. It was our train. Okay, okay. That is crazy. Yeah, we still got, you know, we still made

really good time. It's so hard to be in a country where you really don't know the fucking language at all. Dude, it's stressful. Yeah, it really is. I, because you said, you were like, I kind of want to go back. I had that thought. Because I, like, I've so far been

kind of like a Pokemon for Connor. And, like, we'll go to... Do you already hang out with Connor? Yeah, we hung out last night and this morning. But, like, uh, when we hang out, we'll go to a place, and, like, immediately when we walk into an establishment, like, two white dudes, everyone's like but then connor's like and he does his japanese thing and and then they're all like portal bots look at you they easily turn away the aoe's turned

on because he's like he's just like he speaks very well yeah so like sometimes they'll give us like an english menu and then i'll be like he'll be like and then they'll be like why did i give you this menu, bitch? Oh, gee, thank you for coming. And so then I'm just this little Pokemon and I just sit there and I'm like, oishi.

Yeah. I mean, you have that when we're traveling around all together. It's like, it's pretty rough. Not that it's like a complaint. I'm actually, it's beautiful here.

It's like, I am really enjoying just kind of existing in it. It's also an extremely like clean place. And like, I don't know. It's,

it's so sick, but it's stressful solo. Cause I went without Connor this morning and I just want to get a coffee. Yeah, dude, it's fucking tough. And I walked to the coffee place and I'm like, I don't have my mask.

And everyone has like a mask and they're walking in, they're getting their shit. And like the mask, it's a meme. It's a fucking meme here. Cause they put on the mask to enter it. Then they take it off. Really?

You need it to walk through the door. So you don't believe in masks. They don't believe in it. Masks are a meme, Dash Ludwig. We've got another patriot. Show him your blunderbuss. I'm a damn pack, I got my blunderbuss on me. Nobody has any blunderbusses.

We didn't pack any blunderbusses. Then tell me why I'm not making it back. I am making it back. I will be back. You're making it back. I will be back. Hey, no you're not. You're making it back in three containers. You're making it back with a flag folded on your box. This Patriot's going to have a real funeral.

They're going to find my body at the Port of Baltimore. They're going to give me three tombstones in Arlington. McNulty's going to unveil your coffin. You're like, this guy is a true patriot. My body has a tri-corner at my blood or muscle right beside it. But it was stressful. It was stressful. Yeah, it's interesting.

We're going to be here for so long. If you guys don't know, we're recording this actually pretty early. It's day dot. We haven't even been here for 24 hours. It's the first day we've been here. Also, we recorded an ep back on Monday.

The last ep you guys have seen. It was kind of a weird time skip. So the next time you see us, we'll be literally speaking fluent Japanese. Yep.

Oh, 100%. So I keep saying that he can learn this language in six months flat. He keeps saying that. I was like, just my arms folded

on the train. I can learn Japanese in six months. Easy. Do you have this thing? I don't know if you guys have gone to the convenience stores and check out. Do you attempt to speak any Japanese? Because my gut doesn't want me to.

Oh my god, yes. It's embarrassing. I could be like, and try whatever I know. But instead I'm like, thanks man. I appreciate that. And he's speaking fluent Japanese back and I'm like,

yeah, no change. Yo, peace, one love. Right? West side. West side. White Yakuza. But like, I feel like you should attempt,

but even attempting takes like a level of vulnerability I'm not ready for. I think I get PTSD because the way that they smile and laugh when I speak Japanese is like my parents at Thanksgiving dinner

or like my grandparents when I'm like, they're like, oh, how was your little video game job doing? And I'm like, it's going good. They're like, oh, good for you. I feel like they're doing that. I'm like, stop laughing at me. Well, that's how I felt in Italy, which is why I am 100% always against Italy. You're an Italian.

Yeah, and I'm allowed to say that. Also, most of them spoke English. Yeah, but they were pricks about it. They were brave hearts. I just want to be clear. I'm allowed to say that. Also, most of them spoke English. Yeah, but there were pricks about it. They were pretty fart. I just want to be clear, I'm not on his team. They were like a John Hughes bully movie. You eat this morning? You eat good food this morning?

Yeah. Dude, we had a bomb breakfast. Aiden took us to a fucking low-key spot. Is it shit? Aiden took us to the most low-key. Would you go so bad? It sounds high. Yeah, just like a cigarette.

I hate being part of the YouTube. I hate being fucking part of the YouTube commercial. So, like, have you heard of Hotel Buffet? Hotel Buffet? I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. He's butchering it. He's called Suzu Cafe, bro.

Hotel Buffet. Yeah. Yeah, it was actually pretty bomb. So they had, like, little sausages. Oh, fucking cunts. Oh, weenies. Scrambled eggs. American style, too. That's how I felt a little bit. Yeah, weenies. Scrambled eggs. American style, too.

That's how I felt a little bit. Grilled mackerel was fire. Grilled mackerel was fire. Everybody's nodding. Everybody's nodding. Grilled mackerel was fire. Yeah, that's how we ate this morning. Connor took me to his spot.

I'm his Pokemon. We get it, bro. He's your best friend that you've ever had. His name's Sea Dog. He's actually fluent, if you guys know. But I did find a coffee place that's close by, and the lady, like, fluent in English. And so I was like, I was having fun conversing with her, because I could just speak. I was just like, yeah, I'm from like LA, grew up in New Hampshire. Was she Japanese?

She was Japanese, yeah. She's like born and raised in Japan, but she's like been to America a good chunk, and she owns like her coffee place. That's cool. And I was having like a good time conversing with a human and so I ordered an espresso, like a single, and then like I finished it because it was an espresso, and then I'm like you know what, I'll have another one.

Just because I wanted to keep talking. Because you're lonely. Because I'm lonely. And so she's like and I was like, I should have ordered a double. But then she misunderstood and she gave me a double. I'm fucked all and she gave me a double. I'm fucked on caffeine right now. That was today. I have a lot of caffeine in my body.

Right now, we're in a pretty residential place. It's like, what was I going to say? Oh, this house. Porn was filmed at this house. There has been porn filmed at this establishment. We're in the rafters with some legends. Yeah, we're in a location where loads have been busted. This is where the load was busted. The first load.

Yeah, so there's a lot of cum around here. Just like anywhere. That's what's beautiful about Nippon is that everyone cums. Everyone does cum here. They aren't horny. I see a lot of tanga shops walking around. What is tanga? That's a lizard.

It's the jerk-off toy. What? Oh. Are you talking about like a flashlight? It's like a flashlight, but it's like mass-manufactured.

It's called a tanga, and it looks like a... Is that a brand name? Is it like Band-Aid? Yeah, yeah. It's a Kleenex. Okay. No, that's the same thing

with flashlight and pocket pussy. They're all the same thing. Yeah, so they got tanga, but they just have them, like, ow, and that's just the science. Isn't the ratio here of men to women

crazy high for men? I think it's equal. Like every other society. What does that mean? You're talking about China. I thought it was also Japan. No, because China had the one child policy for a long time and people wanted sons.

So they would make it so they only would abort their daughters and this created a disproportionate population of men. This is no longer a problem, but it is creating... So it's equal.

It's equal here. It's pretty equal here. Gotcha. Yeah. Thanks, Aiden, by the way. I appreciate that info. Well, it's just... Comedy's conflated.

Oh, yeah, I get it. For sure, I get it. I get it, yeah. I was saying that Me and Aiden Want to become salary men Yeah We're dead set

You don't want that I want to be I want to be salary man I want to be sad You don't Me and Aiden You already are sad You've cried on this pod

We want to work for You've been sad That's different though Shut the fuck up We want to be We want to work for a corporation 60 hours a week Sing karaoke I've inspired this Slime saw the guy Every night At customs sad. That's different though. Shut the fuck up. We want to work for a corporation, 60 hours a week, sing karaoke.

What inspired this is Slime saw the guy at customs just stamping papers and hating his life. Yeah. And he was like, I want that to be. But like really killing his job. There was a romantic element to the salary man that I saw and I'm like. Yeah. What's the romantic part? That you get to drink after?

That, that, that. Yeah. It's, it's staring, it's staring bold-faced capitalism in the face. And saying, yes, be a cock. I have nothing. I cannot thwart you. My meaning is to be the cock. The cock? The cock.

The cog. You could be salaryman anywhere. No, I won't be salaryman here. What I've recognized is like, and this is day dot take, so bear that in mind, but it's like there's a lot of like uniformity to Japan

in terms of like how people walk around, how people like, you know, go in a shop, everyone does like the hand sanitizer thing. Like there's a lot of customs that everybody follows. But like I think where everyone finds their individuality

is like the content they consume. I don't know if you've seen it, but there's like a bunch of like random niche like little groups of people I've passed by. Like there's like this rock concert. There's like 10 people outside. They're cheering super hard for this guy. It was like a hardcore show. No, there's like a super small one. On the street?

Yeah, just on the street. And then there's like this line outside for like this anime thing. And then I saw a bunch of train watchers. And it feels like that's where everyone finds their hobbies. Do you think there's like a hardcore like Italian scene here? There probably is. No, but like not of Italians. People who are into Italians.

Yeah, but Japanese people who are into Italy. I watched like a really like this old vice documentary about this, like, uh, like Chicano subculture within Japan. It's huge. Really? Yeah.

Where like, where like people in Japan will like dress and adopt mannerisms of like Latino communities in LA and like, and like race and like mod cars and shit. Yeah. It's, it's, yeah, I don't know.

I feel like in America, like the things that people consume for content is like very large and a lot of people consume the same things. And then like the jobs is where you like, you find a lot of your individuality. It's like where you like, this is what I do for work.

That's like the first thing people say. Yeah. And then here, I guess, because everyone's salary men, it's like your hobby, which defines you. So you saw 10 people watching a guy play guitar and you've formed this whole idea?

This is my idea. I was going to say, before I let this spiral, have you confirmed this with any Japanese person? Yeah, no, I talked to my taxi driver and I said, it kind of sealed it for me.

Yeah, yeah. No, you're probably right. That makes a lot of sense to me. Anyway, you were talking about going home or something. Well, yeah. I don't know. 30 minutes ago. Get the fuck back home, bro.

It's hard. It's hard speaking. This place doesn't want you. Japan? That's right. I think you're right. And Connor, I know because we were doing the bar crawl thing right and it's like a cute little alley there's a bunch of bars

you went to Golden Guy but we're walking through and sometimes we walk into a place and they're like nah that happened a couple times. Wait what? We would go to walk in and they'd be like we're closed we're just so closed right now people just extremely enjoying their time in an open bar

yeah there'd be like three people at the seats and they'd be like ah dude it's 11 We're just so close. People just extremely enjoying their time in an open bar. Yeah. Yeah, dude, it'd be like three people at the seats and be like, ah, dude, it's 11. Yeah, they just won't serve foreigners sometimes. Oh, that's cool. This happened to me at a Japanese restaurant in London once. It was like a place, it was a Japanese restaurant, only Japanese people in the restaurant. It was clearly some sort of local spot for Japanese people in the restaurant like it was clearly like some sort of like local spot for Japanese immigrants

in London and me and my friend who's Chinese tried to go to the restaurant and we came like 10 minutes before closing and we were just trying to see That's why you got kicked out

No, no, no, hold on, hold on and we got He did it, he did the thing Hold on, hold on and we got kicked out or not kicked out we were told like we're closed

kick them in that totally makes sense that totally makes sense but the place is supposed to be really good so we come back the next night and it's an hour and a half

before close and we're like okay great well they told us the closing time last night we know we're here at the right time and they still

weren't letting us in and then we were like but you told us this is when you close and they're like we lied and they caved they caved they let you in they were like yeah but only because we we like said something about it they would try to get us to leave the same way so funny to keep trying yeah we also would well because the wouldn't you just want to go somewhere else? They're going to split their food for just a lot of pain in your life. And the first night, it's like we don't get the vibe that we're being told no because we're not Japanese. We get it, but what we're saying is that you brought up that they were like, yeah, you can't come in here, and you're like, well, that doesn't make sense

because you told us when to come back. Well, I'll be back tomorrow. And then they said, okay, and then you still went in. Aiden would have camped out four months if you had to. It's like the fact that they don't want you there, you were like, well, I'll still eat here. That makes the food taste sweeter. That's the funny part to me

and Nick. That's what we're saying. I'm with you. I'm with you. Stand with Aiden. In Japan, I get it. You know, you don't want white people in your bar. I get it. Okay, but then here's the perverse thing. I want white people in my bar. They didn't want white people in the bar.

They were being racist. Okay. All right? Because Connor speaks Japanese, and I do too. So wait, do you think Connor's a patriot? Will he join us? Well, here's what Connor's doing. Because then there's like maybe fucking 100 bars.

And so then he'd like peep in, and then if he saw a foreigner, he'd be like, nah, I can't go here. And I was like, why not? like he's like it's all foreigners Wow We're foreigners. He's like nah. It's just a bad vibe. I just thought of a genius video It's Ludwig and it's white guy speaks fluent Japanese to Japanese people and it's like him and the person like shot But it is him fucking butchering Japanese everywhere he goes. That's kind of what Xiao Ma videos are actually like lately, where he'll say he's learned a language in 10 days, and he'll just repeat three different textbook lines

to some person that works at a restaurant. Because he's actually fluent in Chinese, and that's where his channel and his videos got started. So can actually like he's he's like very very well spoken in this one language and that's how he hit it off but he's like branched out into like he'll just pick like some niche language for some for some random country and they'll he'll go find a restaurant associated with it in new york and say like hit him with the hey how are yous he's like he's like he's like he's on the menu and he's like's. He's like, make a 10 minute YouTube video out of it. He's on the menu and he's speaking English.

He's like, oh wow, a lot of good food. And then into the language, he's like, one of these. And then I think just the effort, they're like, wow, good job. And he's like, yeah, I did it again. I've done it again. Son of a bitch. Is there something I can't learn? That is literally you, by the way.

No. I went to a nice restaurant and it was oishikakudesu. Yeah, it sounds like it was that. Dude, you, by the way. No. I went to a nice restaurant and it was oishikaku desu. Yeah, it sounds like it was said. Dude, you can't say that. On the last episode, someone was like, okay, I translated what Ludwig said. It's fork. I want.

That's what I want. The chopsticks are hard to hold. That's not what you said, though. You asked where the fork was I said where I think yeah you said yeah you said where is the fork so they're wrong

because I'm fluent you know what dude you know what's really funny I was playing Dota with my friend Max from way back who I met on Dota and he spent time in Japan

and we're playing Dota and someone in on in the team on the other team speaks Japanese or they type something in Japanese against us

and he's like oh shit I can tango with this guy and so he starts team on the other team speaks Japanese or they type something in Japanese against us. And he's like, oh shit, I can, I can tango with this guy. And so he starts typing Japanese back. And then the guy responds, did you use a translator for that? And Max was like, oh fuck. Like he got me. So it's like basically he, he didn't have the riz to use his actual Japanese he's learned. And also he's a white guy.

And also the guy clocked that he used a translator, which was insanely embarrassing. It funny we lost the guy can tango with this guy then use a translator it's like we can all tango that web page that happened like a similar I can tango with this guy moment we were playing college basketball intramural team we were shit one of the worst teams around I I know. You don't. We went over. Breslin's squad would dunk on us every time. We actually did not because the intramural team... Breslin was 6'8". Breslin did...

That's the crazy shit. Breslin was 6'8". Breslin was hung, too. He did need an extra large coffin. It had like a full-fledged cock at the top. That one Breslin lore page on the Reddit

getting edited. Every time we drop a piece of Breslin lore. Breslin was 6'8", question mark, maybe 6'2". No, he was 6'8", because we went to Cancun

that one time for spring break and he fucking, he had to hunch over on the plane. Then he had the surgery and he went down to 6'4". Really sad.

They chopped off his ankles. He lost his shins in a machine gun. A machine gun con. He's a patriot. Breslin, if anything, was a patriot. And he would have loved it here. He wouldn't have made it back. He wouldn't have.

He wouldn't have. He could have gone through doors here. Anyway. Fork him, Bess. When we get home We're gonna get asked so many questions From who? Immigration? They're gonna say hey how'd you do gentlemen

Mission accomplished Coming back into the LAX customs line, and you walk up to the head of your passport, and you just... Dude, imagine the guy who stamps us back into the country salutes us, and we don't know why. And we're like... You boys did a great job on that.

He gives us back our fucking G clock that we had to leave. Your next mission's in Korea. We have such a bad fucking reputation as a country. Yeah. As Americans, we're disgusting. Our driver, clearly he could understand more than what he could speak, which makes sense. But it was amazing that the only full sentence he could make more than what he could speak which makes sense but it was amazing

that the only full sentence he could make out was everybody has a gun yeah we got guns sorry okay

you and Breslin play intramural basketball well he was on a different team my team sucked and then one time it still got it got heated

just because we were against a guy who lived on the same floor of us who was kind of a doucher he stole alcohol once and Michael's like really this guy named guy who lived on the same floor of us, who was kind of a doucher. He stole alcohol once. And Michael's like really, this guy named Michael who is on my team, he's getting in his face.

Babara. Michael Babara. Yeah, he was young back then. He was young. He was going back to ASU. Michael B. Barra. I don't like how you're being an asshole on the court. Okay?

And so they're beating the whole time. And then the game ends and they win. And the guy talks like a lot of shit. And so he goes he goes if you fucking keep this up I'm not messing around he's like what are you

gonna do and he goes I'm gonna get Avery who's our big strong friend to beat you up and then he said it with full earnesty

I'm gonna get that fucking guy over there and then he got laughed out of the building no it was tough it was tough yeah you can't be

calling out Avery and we never won one we never won a game imagine you're fucking and she calls out Avery. That sucks. And Presley fucked my girl. Well, yeah. Yeah.

That's what he did. That's what he did. That was his shit, bro. It was weird of him. It was a breach of trust in my friendship with Presley. It was. It was tough. If it was anybody but Presley, you know.

It still hurt. I let him slide because he's Presley. That's when I knew what I had to do to him. Don't regret it. Don't regret it. What, did we kill Breslin? They never did open that investigation. Breslin was my best friend.

That's why I had to take him down. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. You know what I like also? And I was thinking about... I like the idea of bowing. I know it sounds fucking stupid, but I've always... It's like, just the idea that bowing I know it sounds fucking stupid but I've always it's

like just the idea that like I don't know the gesture is so nice I don't know I just think being polite is like really cool I wish we did it in the States. No, you're right. It's base. You know, sometimes I get up so an old lady can take my seat.

What the fuck are you talking about? It's just about manners and respect, I guess. I like how you throw away the trash at home. I'm getting really upset. It's like you hold on to it because you don't want to. This is the worst day of my life. No, you're right, man. You're right.

I actually don't like how polite everyone is. You don't? Shut the fuck up. I don't. I think it's actually don't like how polite everyone is. You don't? Shut the fuck up. I don't. I think it's nice. They're too polite. Nah. They don't give a shit.

Deep down, they don't care. You think they don't care? It's cultural politeness. They're not like- I think if you're so- Isn't that in America, too? Like, Aiden doesn't give a fuck about the driver he's talking to. He just does it.

I do. No, no, he actually does. You literally don't. I do. No, you don't. If they got shot in the head as soon as you left the Uber, you would not care. He would walk away and say, mission accomplished. Stop.

Stop. Bro. I'm talking about in America. I'm talking about in America. I don't like these fucking jokes. No, you don't like these jokes? I don't like this. No, because one day-

You know what you should do then? Hayden, the next time you get in an Uber, when we go to like fucking, I don't know, West Hollywood or something. Yeah. We get in the Uber and when we go to like fucking, I don't know, West Hollywood or something, we get in the Uber and you tell the Uber driver after talking to them for the whole fucking however long ride, you say, if you were shot and killed immediately after I left this car, I would be sad. I would be sad. Okay, that's what-

You think that would affirm my position? I want to be on your team so bad. You ruined it. I really do. I ruined it? Yeah, you ruined it for sure. Wait, let's rewind. Let's go back. Let's go back to where you guys agreed. Okay, we can do more. Okay team so bad. You ruined it. I really do. I ruined it? Yeah, you ruined it for sure. Wait, let's rewind. Let's go back.

Let's go back to where you guys are great. Okay, we can do more of that. Okay, all right. One more chance. And you fucking... You crud monster. You fucking... You're the worst.

Yeah, I'm on board now. Real critter over here. I helped my Airbnb host commit a crime. What'd you do? Did you help him cook crack? I helped him cook. Yeah, he was like, I really want crack, Dad. I heard Americans know how to cook really good crack.

Yeah, you're right. He's like, yeah. You're right, Airbnb son. We do have Migos. You shouldn't make it home. You shouldn't be here. I don't know where you should be. Well, the crime was because they have a law in Japan where you can

only rent out your property for half the year. You can't rent it out for the whole year. I think because they want people to live in it and they don't want landlords. I don't know. Maybe that's it. And so he's like, I want to get around these rules. So I'm just going to change your stay to two days.

And I still pay the $17, $18 a day amount. But I'm pay like the, you know, 17, 18, whatever day I'm out. But I'm on the low. Damn, you leak like that? Well, I'm not saying the place I'm at.

That's not hard to find. He's gonna, okay, well now you're like putting it in people's minds. You're gonna put this man behind bars. You were fine

until you guys started being weird about it. I wanna put, I wanna put everyone you've ever associated with behind bars. I wanna turn you out. In Japan?

Are you guys just battling? In Roppongi? In Roppongi. Yeah, it's a battle rap. NordVPN protects your online activity from things like phishing and password attacks, DDoS and ransomware. Look at me, look at me. While you're watching this, I'm currently in Japan.

In Tokyo. Perhaps I'm in Chiba and i'm rob from the airport and and you know what the thing about being in japan is i can't watch all my favorite shows aiden wow wait wait we love it your computer is in america that has nord on it how are you going to use it it's a giant computer how are you gonna use it how how am i supposed to watch all my shows good Good question, laptop. Well, I think that you should use nordvpn.com slash the yard. If you figured out what NordVPN does by now, that's amazing because this is fucking incoherent.

Why don't we go to the next slide, zipper? Okay, okay, okay. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. NordVPN is good for three main reasons. One, it's fast, reliable connection connection. Okay as a VPN so to Get you around region lock You can stream ridiculous, yeah, you're trying to watch ridiculous news from the Tokyo sky American license show that's right But you're trying to watch it in Monkey Mountain. You can connect to an American server.

And you're not in a hotel. As if you were in the US to watch Ridiculousness. And then reason three is because maybe you're on a public network or you don't trust your ISP with Nord, only they don't see that where you're going. You want to check your bank account maybe while you're at Starbucks. Yeah. You don't want a little hacker. There could be slime. slime he's a little hacker i'm a little guy behind you anyway i'll steal you nordvpn.com forward slash the yard 30 day risk free nordvpn.com slash the yard or click the

link in the description you get a two-year plan with one month free okay that's it guys nordvpn.com slash the yard uh how is rapongi it's really cool i heard it's the american part i don't know i have no frame of reference the american part yeah really there's a lot i haven't noticed like in what way i don't i've just heard this there are a lot of uh there are a lot of foreigners there oh definitely i've noticed that and there's a lot of American fast food chains in the area. I will say we emerge from the subways, from the train, the subterranean place. The Eat Fresh headquarters.

Yeah. The subway? No, yeah, because we took like three trains and we finally emerged like onto the street. And the first thing I see is literally a giant Wendy's sign. There you go. They try to make it feel like at home. So they have like a lot of parking lots. They have a Wendy's, a subway.

I was like, whoa. We made it. Tokyo. 7-Eleven is just so gang. You're 7-Eleven pilled? I'm Lawsons pilled. He's just named it a different brand. Well, you pick your konbini. You go to the one that's so tight. You're 7-Eleven pilled? Yeah. I'm Lawson's pilled. He's just named a different brand. Oh, Lawson's. Well, you pick your konbini.

You go to the one that's fucking closest to you. No. Yeah. I walk for my Lawson's. Yeah. I got a family. You're walking regardless. What drink did you get?

The drink that you have down there that you said we need to ask about. What is your drink now? Oh, Pocari Sweat? This is, so they have a drink that is probably the least appetizing drink name I could ever- Well, I would have you know Pocari Sweat is a healthy beverage that smoothly supplies the lost water and electrolytes during perspiration. I don't want them to smoothly supply me anything like that. It's as if you're drinking someone else's sweat. It's close to that of human body fluid, so you're right.

That is crazy. It does say that. It has appropriate density in electrolytes close to that of human body fluid. Does it taste sweet like you? This is your nectar. I don't like Bacari, personally. You're gonna like this. I wanna taste the nectar. I think it's way better than Gatorade.

It's way better than Gatorade. Yeah. It's like syrup sweet little sweet. Pretty good. Can I get some of your coffee? Is it so warm? It is absolutely not warm. It's fucking freezing on this roof. Can I still have some? It is cold here.

I mean, yeah, you can, but no one else. Honestly, my dream might be dead. What's your dream? Moped dream. Because it's cold? Dude, it's going to be so bad riding. It's going to be miserable. Yeah, why don't you just buy some shit?

I'm going to buy stuff. I went to do it today, and I got nervous because I didn't have my mask. I walked an hour to go to a clothes store. That's also insane. And then I realized I didn't have my mask, so then I walked my ass home, and then I had to come it today and I got nervous because I didn't have my mask. I walked an hour to go to a clothes store. That's also insane. And then I realized I didn't have my mask. So then I walked my ass home and then I had to come to this shit. Yeah. That's all I did today.

You're in a fucking Asian country and you're walking around without a mask. Yeah, that's insane. I forgot my mask. I forgot it. Yeah, you forget a lot of shit. I'm tired of you. Name one thing I forgot. My birthday.

April 30th. The big shell incident from Metal Gear. It's the same day. You got it. You got it. Okay. You're saying like words that I didn't know. That game though, that game is bad.

It's just, you know, another story about capitalism. They all are. Why do you want to be a salaryman and not just work at Best Buy in America? It's the same thing, right? No, it's actually the same. I kind of do. Hold on.

Hold on. That was out of left field. Let's look at the six-figure podcaster bingocard.com. So we've got shit on a foreign country that we're in. We've got, say we want to work hard labor jobs and not do them. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, okay. Can we talk about femoids first? We've got femoids. That's what we've made a list. You know what I will say is that Nick doesn't believe me. Again, I have to prove my valor every fucking day I live on this earth when I'm with Nick. Every day. Because I was like, I want to be a salaryman,

and I want to chain smoke. And he's like, you wouldn't be a salaryman. Okay, I want to chain smoke. He's not working a job like that, and he doesn't even smoke cigarettes. I'll take all the money, and I will put it in a trust that I literally cannot... Shut the fuck up. Ten years, I cannot access this

money. Ten years, and it's locked up behind an encryption or something. Behind an encryption. And it's encrypted. Is where the money will be. And I was like, then I would need to become a salaryman. And he's like, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you have it already.

And I'm like, if I can't access the money, I still need to survive and be a salaryman. Burn the money. Burn the money to be more gangster. See, this is where, dude, I was just saying, I just trying to explain to him, it's like, you can't go be a salaryman, but be sitting on all the podcast money. You can't have a safety net. It's not a safety net. You need the money. And he was like, no, you don't get it.

I'll just put it in an encryption. I'll put it in the web. So I don't get it until I'm like 80. And I'm like, you still are one day going to have a bunch of money. No, no, no. If it's web three, he might not have it one day. It'll be in the Web 3. The story is like millionaire who becomes homeless to see if he can become a millionaire again.

But it's like millionaire becomes homeless just to work a minimum wage job. No, it's millionaire to become homeless because he's uncomfortable with his identity of having money. Yeah. Isn't that why everyone would do that? Burn your money. Burn it. You think I fucking won't? I do think you will. Yeah, Isn't that way everyone would do that? Burn your money. Burn it. You think I fucking won't? I do think you will.

Dude. I do think you will. No, because then that's a federal crime. I know. That's why I think you won't do it. So I'm right. I don't think you'll do it. It's a federal crime?

Yeah. That's why I'm not coming back. In Japan? You're burning me. The Japanese government won't actually... I'm kidding, but I do think... I think I need to struggle more. That's what I'm saying.

So throw me to the wolves of being a salaryman. There's something, you know, like going back to my old job at Dairy Queen and like, but instead of eating on my breaks, like just smoking cigarettes. Just smoke cigarettes. It's all you want to do, I think, for this convo. No. I did send a text to Zipper 3 this week. I was like, I think we should smoke more.

Wait, more? You guys are already smoking? No, I mean, not often. So you're smoking cigarettes? Yeah, I think I get in my annual cigarette. Come home with a carton of cigarettes. What would be your choice? Do you want to change smoke or do you want to work on your

laptop at fucking Blue Bottle, dude? You pick. You can't be both guys. You want to work on your laptop at Blue Bottle Coffee or do you want to smoke cigarettes? Working on my laptop at Blue Bottle Coffee is what I'm going to actually do tomorrow. I want to be Hugh Jackman in the hacking scene in Swordfish

that I'm an elite hacker. You want head. No, no, it's not that one. Oh. It's the one where he's alone and he's getting fucking hammered and he's creating a worm to beat the encryption.

These are just words that you like. You're saying a bunch of words you like to say. This is what we should do. This is what we should do. Tomorrow morning,

me and you, me and you will go buy suits. We'll go buy suits and we'll go to the nearest, we'll go to the nearest office building. Dude, how are you? And then if we're accepted with open arms, we become... Gentlemen, we abandon the podcast and we become salarymen.

Gentlemen, I am your boss. I can make you work 60 hours a month. And we surrender our blunderbusses. You don't get it. I need a soulless office building. I can do this. I need a soulless office building. I need a soulless office building. Somebody needs to teach me how to tie a tie. I'm so bad at it.

I can't do it. You need to subsidize all my cigarette purchases. Can we write off Nick Wang? Can we write off $600 annually? Nick Wang, Nick Wang. You won't be hey, Nick Wang, can we write off cigarette funding? $600 annually. Nick Wang, Nick Wang, if I start, Nick Wang.

Because you won't be working for Nick Wang. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If I start smoking, if I smoke some of the cigarettes during episodes, can I write off the whole pack? Oh, you actually can. Yes. 100%. No, you probably can't because cigarettes probably can't be written off. Yeah, tobacco is weird.

It's like the category they are under. It's like duty free. It's a problem. If you were filming. There are prop cigarettes, so you'd probably get a prop cigarette. Let's get hooked on prop cigarettes. We're just smoking Smarties. We're going back and forth.

What if it's like, what's the Nathan For You show on HBO? What's it actually called? Daniel. Old Enough For You. It's called. Do you still say it actually called? Daniel. Old Enough for You. It's called... Do you still say it like that? The Rehearsal. The Rehearsal.

It's like The Rehearsal, but you built a rehearsal for me and Aiden to be salarymen. But it's for 20 years. Look. And you just create a fake job and we smoke prop cigarettes. We work at a fake Japanese company.

For 20 years of our life. We start and raise fake Japanese company. Raise, raise, start and raise fake Japanese families. And then, and then, and then one day, one day we're in, we're in like a fucking boardroom at work

and 45 year old Ludwig walks back in and he's like, you fucking got, got you. He's like, all right, the guys,

the, the experiment is now over. He's like, there's no, we're not even going to a building. We're just going to a set where we act like salarymen, but it's for 20 years. I think we should do this. Just be salarymen. Just quit.

So now we can do it. You can do whatever you want. You were hemming and hawing and naysaying. Do you think that he's the one who decides if you're a salaryman? We just want him to think it's cool. You know who Volvo is? The smasher? Yeah, he gets on all fours and he fucking got the chain, the claws.

We kept saying yesterday that Aiden was Voldo from Soul Calibur. Me and Nick were looking at the Soul Calibur 2 roster together, just looking at it on my phone. Who am I? Maxie. No, no, no. Yeah, he's Maxie. Yoda. No, no, no. It's Soul Calibur 3. No, no. We said he's Nightmare. Yeah, you're Nightmare with the head off.

But with the mask off. But also Maxie. Yeah. And I'm Lizardman. I'm Keelik. Yoda. And he's Keelik. And I'm Lizardman. And you're Sophitia also. What is Sophitia? I don't know, but I'm Lizardman and he's Keelik and I'm Lizardman and you're Sofitia also. I don't know, but I'm all for Sofitia. It's a starting shield character. It's the whole thing.

Go ahead. So your dream is Salaryman, right? Is that what you were saying? I think, I'm actually curious now. Volvo is a smasher who is from Sweden, but he moved to Japan

like two or three years ago, and he actually did become a Japanese salaryman. Wow. And he's Swedish. There's something fucked up with people who move here. Why do you say it? Damn, dude. That's heavy-handed.

Well, there's something fucked up with you. I think moving here, maybe not Volvo specifically, but I think a lot of the like the white dudes who move here it's like an escape from a failed or something maybe in their life or whatever most expats right yeah maybe ever think about that with say okay people wear mass effect t-shirts again it's like it feels related to that i'm on a thought thread here that like someone listening right now is like i know what he's thinking about i i i will say that what we had to cut from last episode at aiden's request was me making fun of triple a gamers and then he brought up people who wear Mass Effect t-shirts and he made fun of that

and then he thought it was too mean. Wow. And I thought it was the most cowardly thing he's ever done. Because it was too mean and it wasn't very funny.

I thought it was funny. But it was true too. A rat day in here forever. You don't think there's something fucked up with him though? Let's ask. I do think there is.

I do think there is. You think there's something fucked up with Valko. Because Connor moved. I do. Okay is I do think there is cause Connor cause Connor moved I do Connor Connor moved

cause Connor hasn't made it home Connor's making Connor's not coming back he's not going back to the Dragon Whales Connor made is doing like a

Connor has like a fake job Connor Connor has a fake job like we have fake jobs right Connor got offered to move out here to do voice work?

Is that why? I don't know. That's what he said. I told him this exact thing about fucked up Japanese work. Connor is not a salaryman. He's like, no, man, I always have to be out here. Connor is, but Volvo is, right?

And when he was talking about that, I'm asking all these questions about what his job is going to be, how it's going to work, and how he's going to deal, or will he deal at all with these like stereotypical aspects of japanese work culture and he's uh because he had interned at the company before he

moved like fully and he basically said yes to everything like he's like yeah i probably will work 60 plus hour weeks i probably like my job is kind of shitty like listing all these like reasons about like why his new life would be bad when i inquired yeah and i and then i left the conversation like well why the fuck would you do it then yeah well i think to ludwig's like point because sweden sucks yeah i told you this for years classically a shit country it's a shit country bro well i i think there there is as americans especially there is this like this nuance to when you travel abroad and like the exoticization i guess of other countries

that aren't even necessarily things like places like japan which has like like insane media and all these like this cool stuff and like there is always this air of like are you kind of fucking weird for doing this you know know, and it's weird. Like, even as I walked around in like Tokyo day one, I was like, this is so sick. And but I had to ask myself, like, why do I think it's so amazing? Why do I why do I meme joking about becoming a salary man as if it's funny to me? And I like been thinking about that a lot. But to answer your question i think people are kind of weird right unless they they have a clear answer of why they want to live abroad in a place they did not

grow up in and it doesn't have to do with beating off is that why volvo moves volvo in a roundabout No. Volvo had a... Volvo has, I think, a Japanese... It had a Japanese girlfriend, now fiance, that he met in Sweden and then eventually moved. Oh. Wait, that's way better. I would say four. That's way different.

That's always, like, the best kind of reason. But I think, like, there's a difference between, like, you know, moving for the girl and moving to a different country, learning the language, changing your career. He obviously had some sort of interest and love for Japan prior to meeting this person. You don't just upend your...

I don't think you upend your life entirely most of the time. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it per se, but it's also like what, what, you know, it begs the question, do we stay in our lanes? Like, that's a problematic idea, too. It's not saying your lanes, it's just, like, humans have tribes. Everyone has a tribe. I think the actual answer to what you're talking about

is, like, I don't actually want to be... You know about tribe theory, right, guys? You know about tribes, right? Tribes? Tribe theory. Yeah, you're going to talk about tribalism on the podcast. Let's talk about tribalism real quick. Tribe guys. Tribe guys. And, you're going to talk about tribalism? Let's talk about tribalism real quick. Tribe guys.

Tribe guys. And Aiden cheats on his wife. That's my first word in the last five minutes. I don't actually want to become a salaryman. Of course. No shit. I think he does. I think he means it a little.

Slime, his whole life post becoming rich is trying to prove that he doesn't need it. He can come back to squalor. I could be broke tomorrow. I'm clearly uncomfortable with that identity of having a lot of money because I never did and I always considered it like something that pits me against the world in a positive way. It does. Which is why I give it away. Which is why I buy my friends a bunch of crazy wild shit and I just waste it.

And this is why, because we were on the couch for the LSI and Phil and Slime were on the couch with me. And then Slime, he's doing his thing. He's like, I could live in a box. I could live in a cylinder. I could live in a box the shape of me. You just give me three critters in a month. And then Phil's there and he's like you're rich

I've seen the Patreon you're rich and Sam's like but I don't need it and he's like but you have it you have it and then Sam's like

yeah but I could I could get it I could lose it all and he's like give it away and Sam's like and that's how I that's how I truly reconcile it

is I just buy my friends stuff all the time I can live off gasoline I was gonna talk about this this reminds me this reminds me speaking of buying friends stuff all the time. I can live off gasoline. I was going to talk about this. This reminds me, this reminds me, speaking of buying friends' stuff all the time,

when Miles and Josh were here, they were staying with Anthony and they were using PCs, like these extra PCs that we had bought specifically for them to use. Oh no. So we're at the yard set

and we're walking out and one of these PCs is on the ground, like at the set, and scratched into the top of it. Like keyed into it. Keyed into the PC tower. It's the word cringe. And Anthony walks over. He's instantly mad.

He's instantly mad about this. He's angry. And he's like, dude, who the fuck did this? Who the, like, how could? And he instantly said, dude, who the fuck did this? Who the fuck? Like, how could? And he instantly said, why the fuck did Miles do this? Like, he instantly says Miles does it. And I, like, someone who knows Miles. I mean, we both know Miles really well.

No, I didn't say Miles. I was like, did I? Yes. And I instantly went, Miles didn't do this. Like, if anything, one of the other Australians did this. Maybe it was Josh. Yeah, one time, Miles leaked our address

for five subs because he didn't understand yet what it was. I was in China and gifted it. And he instantly was like, why did Miles do this?

I'm like, okay, Miles definitely did not. Miles is an adult. It's definitely one of the other younger Australians who did this. was it Sock,

that fucking asshole? And he's speaking with such confidence that I'm like, maybe it was Sock. I don't know. Maybe they thought it was funny or something.

So we inquire deeper. So what i do is i take a picture and i send it to the old group chat of sock uh miles josh and like us for coordinating their trip when they were here last year and i and i sent a picture i was like who did this and they're all they're like oh it's kind of fucked. Like, what the fuck? Who did this? Blah, blah, blah. And then Slime goes, wait, I did this. And he realizes that he did it. Yeah. How'd you forget? I'm reading it. How'd you forget?

I just needed to quickly label. Josh says, what the fuck? Miles says, whack. Because the reason why is one of the PCs came with a shit graphics card that didn't work. And it was like a pain in the ass. And Miles said, I would have seen that when we were bumping out and said something. And then I was just like, wait, I did this. How did you remember?

This is the exact movie memento. This is the exact plot to memento. I'll put this in the chat. I'll send it to Zipper so Archie can put it in the video. But yeah, it's because... So one of them had a bad graphics card. It's when we did Fortnite, the first Fortnite... Fortnite!

Oh, at the... At Yingos? Yeah, at Yingos. And one of them didn't... And I wanted to mark it really quick because I was mad because I had to unlatch it or unhook it. And so I was like, we just need to mark that this one has a bad graphics card.

So I scratched cringe. Not tape. Not like... Yeah, so many better. And you didn't even know. one has bad graphics so I scratched cringe not tape not like yeah so many better and you didn't even know and like if you saw cringe later you wouldn't be like

oh bad graphics cut can you imagine doing that to a car if it had a problem just key you cringe to the side you're at the dealer they're like what's wrong

you're like I keyed it just look at the side I see you put cringe here to the carburetor yeah yeah that's right yeah

yeah yeah I don't know I was I see you put cringe here. Carburetor. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I still want to explore the idea of why I think it's so cool here. And if that is like... They got a black roof next to it. I think what's cool about Japan that I like is specifically the zoning laws, which allow you to live in an area that downstairs has food that across the street has like a salon yeah this is also New York City

I think like as opposed to New York City it's like clean and like there's not like a random homeless dude who's like fucking you know what I like about Japan is all of like the random values and and like signs of respect all make sense. Like in America, it's like saying bless you to like a sneeze. It doesn't make fucking sense. But like carrying your trash with you wherever you go and taking it home and, and shit like that. That doesn't make sense.

Not, not texting, not holding your phone up in the train. Like all these things make sense. No, that doesn't, I fucking hate that. They should have trash cans.

No. Fucking dumb shit. You just said New York is dirty. That's why it's dirty. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. That's why it's dirty. No, no, no, no. It's not dirty because of trash cans. It's dirty because of the culture. It's a big culture thing.

I don't think if Japan had trash cans, they would all of a sudden be like, oh, I don't know where to put this. Switzerland's clean like this and they have trash cans. And also Japan used to have trash cans until there was a bombing inside of a trash can. Well, the Reddit, the neckbeard Reddit factoid is that in Japanese culture, there is no shame in being someone who collects trash, which I don't know.

That's probably true. But that's also a cool element of living here. It's like your career does not necessarily make you a shit fucking shit bird because you pick up garbage. You and a salary man are maybe on a more similar level because you have a mutual respect for one another but i'm also like this i have no nothing about this culture i don't speak the language i can't understand i can't peer into it from a perspective that is more than just me reading about it i watch abroad japan so i can answer any questions i think what you're what you're describing because i i think i think about this all the time when I go everywhere.

I think there is some romanticization or reverence for this idea of living a life that is so different from yours in a place that is so different from where you grew up. I think I have the same fascination when I go to places in Europe or different parts of Asia. I just think about like what would my who would I be oh yeah up like this I actually if my life was like that and it's like and it's the same I think the reason why it's it's not it's not dumb but it's like fun to look at this person's life or what your life could be in that romanticized way because you don't actually live

it because whatever your life actually is is going to be the like for granted dull version of that and i don't think i think there is probably a similar experience for everyone in the world whenever they visit somewhere else far away it's like there's i i don't think you would not feel i think you would feel the same salaryman thing like going to a bunch of different countries and viewing a bunch of different people's lives. Sometimes Aiden gets mail from the Canadian government and I just throw it away. Do you know that? What?

Yeah, I just throw that shit away. Dude, is that why I don't get my Canada pension plan mail? Yes, because I know it'll be a really big problem for you. And so I just get rid of it. It's not a problem. That's money. I'm getting. No, but that's what I'm saying.

No, no. I'm not protecting you. I know that it will disrupt your life. You're not protecting. You're throwing it away. Yes. That's why I'm making that clear. Because I hate you. I've been waiting for that. Maybe you've subscribed to something. Have you ever forgotten that you're subscribed to something? Aiden's forgot. Because of me.

I didn't forget about the pension plan, to be clear. I have been waiting for mail to arrive. He thinks he deserves a pension like he's a fucking firefighter from Canada. I'm a brave Canadian. That's what Rocket Money is for. But I've forgotten some subscriptions I had. Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebill, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Isn't that interesting? You know what else is interesting? I sent a letter to the Canadian government saying that you are a problem domestically. In which? In our- Which domestic? Which one?

The United States domestic. See, you don't even know. No. I bet it's poorly written. I bet there's drool on the letter. There's not drool on the letter. You probably spelled color with just an O. Is that how you guys do it?

We spell color with an O-U-R. O-U-R. This is why no one... Oh, my God. Find the subscriptions you don't want and press cancel. And Rocket Money will cancel it for you. Just like I've canceled Aiden from going back to his own country. Rocket Money won't hide your mail from you.

They won't do that. Because a good friend, Rocket Money is a good friend who wouldn't do that. RocketMoney.com. Who wouldn't keep my Canadian pension money from arriving in my account via check. Well, maybe Rocket Money is an interesting friend like me. You know what I'm saying? Maybe the shit I do with you and for you and for you keeps you on your toes. You think Rocket Money is breaking into my room to tell me that we need to take back what's ours? You think Rocket Money's doing that?

I don't think they are but I will do that for you always and that's why you should be more fucking appreciative of when will do that for you always and that's why you should be more fucking appreciative of when i do things for you you're doing that is annoying you are you made it annoying bad things you're not doing bad things and a lot of bad things go to rocket money.com go to rocket money.com slash the yard back to the episode they won't steal your mail yo so you might have seen the sun go down just a baby bit. We thought we weren't recording

and then we had to... I don't think the sun changed. Well, it might have. They might notice a slight change in color. Don't break their continuity. There was like 10 minutes Ludwig P.

No, we'll just put an ad in. And we had to linguine the shit out of Yan. We're gonna put an ad in. No. Nobody knows what linguine means. That's not true. Sound off in the comments.

Vote on your phones now. That is the best metric. We had to go up to Yan. First, we punked him. Yep. First, we punked him. He spewed everywhere. He spewed.

Dude, all Yan does is spew. He just missed a cup. He didn't get any of it in the cup. And yeah, he's paying ass, but then he had to explain to us the gear and all this stuff. So we had to reverse punk him, take it back. So the last time I was in Japan was six years ago.

And 7-Eleven, they have these grilled rice balls. And I was really sad because last night. What? Sorry. What did you say? Nothing. No, I just said you're old. I'm old.

You're older than me. Are you old? Yeah, I think he's old. Six years ago? Yeah. Old. No, that's cool. Sorry, the rice balls. Sorry, race balls.

So the 7-Eleven I went to last night didn't have them. I'm really sad about it. Yeah, and you made me get another one that I didn't like. And now we're in enemies now. Why didn't you get the fried horse mackerel? But I got the right one today, and it's as good as I remember. Oh, yeah. Bomb.

Horse mackerel? Horse mackerel. What is that? They put a fish inside a horse? I don't know. It's like a turducken. Horse mackerel. What's in your little bag of tricks?

Oh, this one I did in the airport line, too. I would just reach into his fanny pack and be like, oh, check that out. What's that? Is that for me? No, this is my monkey topper. Actually, it is for you. I did get it for you, but then I started using it. Monkey?

The way it works is that when you get a drink, you can put it on the edge of the drink, and then he sits on your drink and watches over it. He's a little monkey guy. Little butt. He has a little butt. I also got a lighter. This is a tactic to meet and hang out with people in Japan. So you can light their cigarettes?

Yeah. You can't make it work. No, no, I can't. I know how to light it. Did you figure it out cigarettes? Yeah. You can't make it work. No, no, I can't. I know how to light it. Did you figure it out? Yeah, I just couldn't see it. It lights. It's just very, it's just, it's not visible.

But this is, it's fire. Anthony, do you remember when we were in the airport, we were talking about Aiden being in a simulation? Do you remember what the joke was? Fuck. I was dying laughing at this. What did I? I can't remember.

Did I write it down? Oh, shit. There's also something else I had that was funny. You want to stall? I can't remember. Did I write it down? Oh, shit. There's also something else I had that was funny. You want me to stall? I can't remember. You want me to stall? Yeah, stall for us, bro. Okay, you know your tweet about how you fucking hate Japan?

Yeah, I... Yeah. I thought my tweet... My tweet's funny to me. So he was complaining because Japan's like a cash-based system and they have a lot of different trains. It's confusing. So am I, bro. And you need like a speaker card. I like a cash-based system And they have a lot of different trains And it's confusing

And you need like a speaker card I love the cash I love the cash and the coins Ludwig used to do this thing Where he just used to say cash is king And he'd do it all the time I forgot about cash is king But just like cash is king of the house

I got the tail end of cash is king It's so fucking annoying And you know what I found out in this country Cash is king of the house. I got the tail end of Cash is king. It's so fucking annoying. And you know what? I found out in this country, Cash is king. I'd be like eating yogurt in the morning and be like, Cash is king. I'd be like, shut the fuck up. I love walking up to a vending machine and throwing in my little coins and then getting out a drink. I like that.

You don't even need cash for that. What do you mean? I need coins. You use your Suica. You use your Suica card. I don't fuck with Suica. You are going, if you go anywhere, don't fuck need cash for that you can any coins you use your suica you use your suica card i don't fuck with suica you are going if you go anywhere it's so much work to be fair he took a cab here so he doesn't fuck with suica cash i mean i think it would be hard for you not to fuck with suica in general did you see did you see the the reception to my tweet people are hating uh not

like a few yeah and the same i'm getting for some reason. And I think it's because you and Connor both replied it. My tweet entered this sphere of people who don't like know who I am at all. So they're just reading my tweet. That's basically like I said, I'm in my Japan hater era. Yeah. Which is I'm just explaining. Which is really funny. Out of context to read.

This guy hates Japan. Which is what Jordan did after baseball between that and basketball again. It's like, I hate that mustache at all, bro. Trash Chase guys are wary of this because anytime if they say anything negative about Japan, people come out the woodwork

and they're like, fuck you say about this place that I love that I've never been to. There's just this new crowd of people that was behind me. They've been around. And I was like, the response to me is always some version of like, about this place that I love that I've never been to? There's just like this new crowd of people that was behind me. They're not new, they've been around. Oh, yeah, yeah.

The response to me is always some version of like, this dumbass doesn't know how this thing works or like, this American doesn't, like can't, he's an idiot

and he can't figure it out because it's not like home. You exit the States, American becomes a slur. Dude, where do I get a fat Tuesday in this bitch? Sorry the Suica machine

doesn't dispense hamburgers for you. That's what it's like. That's what it's like. And I was so bad because it's like, no, I'm not a fucking idiot, bro. You are the most traveled.

I've been to so many fucking places. You're a dumb fat American. is like talking to Aiden like he doesn't know a thing about foreign countries. I would love that bit yeah that is good he's tortured he feels like he's falling

that's what people are running in the comments except it's not a bit they're like we just get the Suica card bro you can use it for everything

that's what I imagine they sound like imagine someone who has never gone to Japan it's like they just know about the Suica card

because they're fucking weebs there's definitely a few of those people I tried to get Aiden in trouble too because on the thread to Japan, it's like, they just know about the Suika card because they're fucking weebs. There's definitely a few of those people. I tried to get Aiden in trouble, too, because on the thread, I tagged Wendover. But what did he say? I tagged Wendover, I'm like, I'll let the goat handle this one. And then Wendover comes in, he's like,

he's like, somewhat based. Wendover comes in, word for word, word for word, exactly what I'm thinking. Not what you said, though. He said what you're thinking, not what I'm thinking. Exactly what I'm thinking. Not what you said, though. Not what you said. He said what you're thinking, not what you said, though.

Yeah, because I wanted to word it in my Japan hater era way. You worded it like a hater. You worded it like a smart man. But everything that he said is exactly my frustration with Walt. No, you don't think how he thinks. I do. You are the same as him. He knows the world better.

Me and Sam are the same. You're not the same as Sam. We're the same. Don't call him Sam. We're on the same basis. First same are the same you're not the same as a I'm the same don't call Basis first a basis that is crazy I was telling I was saying the Nick that I'm an s-rank Podcaster I forgot we're shooting today because he's the guy who's like, no wonder he's fucking Slack. And he's like, we're going tomorrow.

I've actually given up. He is. And it's made me a happier person. Yeah, that's fair. You've given up on Slack? I've given up being a Slack policeman. Everybody uses Slack in the company, just not at the yard. Yeah, I don't know.

I feel better now. This is all starting from me having used Slack. We all use Slack. We all use Slack. We all use Slack. If anything, except you. No, I use Slack all the time. I like Slack. I actually hate Slack.

You check it like once a week. No, no, no. That's what it feels like. I have Slack notice on and I hate it. Turn it off. No, no. That's why. I'm trying to get better.

You just need to be in the habit of listening. This is why you don't reach it. Listen to me. You have too many dopamine receptors coming in. Listen to me. Notifications. I want to get better at it, so I turn my notifications on, because if it's off, I'll never look. You should just change that behavior.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Listen to me. I'm listening to you, man. I like you. We all have to do this, but we've got to get a little more quiet. When my mic hits his head, can you make a bone bonk noise? I was loud and real.

I wonder if Lynn's done. Wait, wait, wait. Real quick. Another one. When I do this, can it be like we're driving the fucking car? The Yabba Dabba Doo? Yeah. And then can we all zoom out of frame?

And then put a really big anime character in the sky, Archie. And I'm not paying you more. And I'm not paying you more. We're just adding shit to it. All right. And keep him there for the rest of theie. I'm not paying you more. I'm not paying you more. We're just adding shit to this day. Keep him there for the rest of the podcast. Listen to me. Yeah, alright. I did mute it for a while, and then

I wasn't on Slack, and then people were like, gotta be on Slack more. So then I unmuted the notifs, and I see the notifs, and sometimes I'm like, oh, I can weigh in. It's like, hey, what's the date for this? And I'm like, let me jump in. What do you think about this design choice for this event? I'm like, oh, I can weigh in. It's like, hey, what's the date for this? And I'm like, let me jump in. You know, like, what do you think about this design choice for this event? I'm like, let me hop in.

But then sometimes it's like in the general chat. And it's like Nick Allen talking about how he's going to a Hobo Johnson concert. No, that's Weed Memes. We have a chat called Weed Memes. And that's only for shitposting. Just mute the channel. I'm leaving it. Here's a better way.

Okay, good. Here's a better way of handling all this. Who's Hobo Johnson? A better way. Let me tell you. I'll be the first to tell you. He sucks. I love him.

Hey, Nick Allen goes to see him. Do you like peach scones? Like the flavor of peach in scones? Yeah. Sounds yummy. Real quick. Peach scones? I bet you, Aiden, I bet you all the money in your pocket, you cannot name the other

two members of Trash Taste. The other two? Yeah. Besides Connor? Yeah. But no, Gart and Joey? Fuck. What?

That's all your money, bro. He got me, bro. That's all your money. Fork up. Fork up. Dude, we've met and hung out with them. Take it. How much money is that?

Hey, that's a come up. That's a come up. How much is in there? What is this pet? How much is in there? Take it. That's a come up. How much is in there? What was this bet? How much is in there? A lot. Yeah, check it out. Bro, did you just bet away everything in your pocket? Dude, this was in my pocket.

You just stole my money. Did you really? Yeah, he pickpocketed him. Like the easiest shit I've ever done. I've pickpocketed him before too. You are the dumbest shit I've ever seen. I pickpocketed him when you were in Italy. Dude, yeah, I remember that. You were on your Matt Damon shit. I sleuthed him.

Oh, you got my phone. Dude, I could have taken you for more, by the way. You actually, I had this really- Sit down. I had this really-

No, because I'm fucking, I'm cold. No, I don't care. I can't see you. Sit down. You look like Fluffy Flatstein. When we were in Italy, because we kept talking

about people getting pickpocketed, right? And I think up until that point, I was like, people are like, how did people even get pickpocketed, bro? Yeah, you're really dumb about it. So dumb. Dude, I could have taken everything. I stole my phone out of a tight jean pocket. Yeah, because it ain't worth some tight pants.

Yeah, what was he looking at his phone? No, his phone was in his pocket. He was just standing there. Oh, right, right, right. He stole the phone. What was he doing while he was looking out the window? So what's your favorite thing about Switzerland? We were talking. We were conversing. Oh, in his pocket. He was just standing there. Oh, right, right. He stole the phone. What was he doing while, was he looking out the window? So what's your favorite thing about Switzerland? We were talking.

We were conversing. Oh, that's, that's hype. He got distracted. He was crazy. I got him while he was looking at his phone. I could have taken his passport. I could have taken his fucking wallet. I could have, I could have taken your fucking pants. When he's on his phone, you can- When did you do it? When did I do it? Bro, when you're on your phone, I could take down your fucking pants and slap you on your ass.

He almost left his backpack at the fucking, at the airport station. Yeah. I just picked it up and I was like, is this you? You know what the good thing about that is though? Is that I would have gotten the air tag notice and then we would have gone back for it. You know the meme of like, it's like, have you guys done this? It's like someone forgets something, you just like hold it with you and you're like, how long until they notice?

Oh my god, I would have pulled it out of my phone though. You guys, you're making a funny joke voice, but I did this to Nick Yingling at main stage and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Because then like 45 minutes later, he's like, where's my phone? And then you're like... Just watching the panic on Nick Yingling's face

as he can't find his phone and I was like... You just have a shit-eating grin. I was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever done. I know it is and you don't. Fuck that guy. By the way, Singapore Airlines goaded. Goaded.

Oh, so nice. Dude, the shit folded down like an actual bed. It was like I was on my rug at home. They have an HDMI port for the screen. That is the nicest. You know what? We flew business class. Thanks to you fucks.

You know what? We flew business class. That's what I see. You know what? We flew business class. That's what I see. If you think about it, we all did it together. My comfort is your comfort. Yeah, it's got double middle fingers. Because we were at the gate,

I didn't get business class, and then I went up, and right when we were boarding, people were literally on the plane. I'm like, can I upgrade? And they're like, mm, okay. And it was way cheaper, which is really cool.

And the only thing that you didn't have to pay, all they said is, you just have to say that you couldn't live in a box anymore. And you're up there, and they're like mmm okay and it was way cheaper which is really cool. And the only thing that you didn't have to pay all they said is you just have to say that you couldn't live in a box anymore and you're up there and you're like fine.

I wouldn't have done it. Fine. Dead ass. If the person at the terminal if they said that I would have been like I guess I'm playing coach. I think if we had said it

at the gate you also would have backed out. I would have. Yeah. You're so easy. You're so easy. Yeah I have blind idiotic pride

that earns me nothing. Meanwhile Yen was in like super economy. Yeah, I have blind idiotic pride. It doesn't matter at all. It earns me nothing. Meanwhile, Yen was like super economy. They kept asking me, they were like, so what seat number are your friends in? They kept asking us that

and I finally gave it to them and I don't think they gave them anything. I think they just wanted to go make fun of them. They served them less. Yeah, I think they took food out of their bowl.

The fun thing about economy is you, when you like, they don't give you a meal, but you have to make your meal yourself by like breaking a rock into smaller rocks. Yeah.

And then you get to eat, and you get to eat that. So it's kind of like a fun like, And it's also your movie. Yeah. And it's like a fun little like thing to do. It's like a,

it's like a cooking class. Yeah, that sounds fun. You can chew on the seat in front of you. You could break rocks. Yeah. Oh dude, on the plane, the flight attendant comes up to me. She's like a it's like a cooking class yeah you can chew on the seat in front of you you could break rocks yeah oh dude on the plane the flight attendant comes up to me she's like thank you for the chocolates and i'm like what and she's like it was very sweet i'm like i don't i didn't give you chocolates and she was like she like didn't believe me she's like we received a gift of chocolates what the fuck and i was running game on the stewardesses of Singapore Airlines?

I don't think it's me. I don't think it's me, bro. And she's like, we'll find him. And I was like, I hope you do. And then every time she came back, I was like, do you find him? She's like, no. Are you sure it wasn't you, though? What if she's running game on you?

What if it's scam? They got chocolate. The trigger phrases isn't working. They're trying to wake Ludwig up. And they're like, are you sure you didn't deliver chocolates? I would just walk to the pilot's cabin.

Let me take control of this. Dude, you're raised in Singapore. You're a Lee Kuan Yew loyalist. Who is just given to a French family. The flight attendant on the same flight came up to me, and she was like, oh, did you move seats? And I was like, no, I've been here the whole flight.

And she turns around, and she realizes that all three, me, Aiden, and Ludwig, are all wearing the exact same outfit. We're all in black sweatpants and a white crew neck sweatshirt. There was like three or four in the squad who had yard hats as well. We looked like we were fucking roadies. We were Yan's fan club. Yeah. You guys get recognized at all here?

Are you fucking kidding me? No. Have you gotten recognized in Japan? Yeah. Like probably like three, four times. No shit. It happened at the,

by Gaijins? Yeah. Yeah. It's never been like a, like just a A couple Japanese people Come up Dude that was That was

The last time I was here Was three years ago And I was with Leffen In a big group of people I remember that And we were talking about How we were wondering If Leffen would get

Recognized in Japan And he got recognized By like one foreign dude At a club we were at One night But then he got Recognized by a Japanese guy That's great

And I was like That's like that Smash player shit That's a W for the scene like, that's like that Smash player shit. That's a W for the scene. Yeah, and he said something about, it was back when he was still playing Ultimate, and the guy said something about him beating Salem. Oh, that's sick.

Dude also replied to your thread as well. Yeah. And that was funny. He was like, hope you enjoy it or whatever. Like tongue in cheek. I hope, yeah. I hope he knows that I don't actually hate Japan. I mean, hey, he left it. He left it.

He hates it. He went to Canada. He went to Canada. He went to Canada. He's a great nation. A great nation. You guys swap. Dude, he's a salaryman in Canada. I can't wait for him to drive. Yeah, dude, I just wish I worked at a Timmy Horton's. I just wish I worked at a Timmy Horton's and I'd come home

and schedule him. He's playing Yoshi as being a salaryman. It's the same fucking thing. He streams four days a week. He works a Tim Hortons and I'd come home and Saskatchewan Yoshi is being a salary man. It's the same fucking thing. He streams four days a week. He works at Tim Hortons three days a week. You go to get your medium double-double and it's Omsa making it. It's all I want. I want a Canadian wife. I want to go home to my

kids in Saskatchewan. He wants to meet a mountain cop. I want a couple mountaineers to come over every weekend. Imagine Amsa comes to the next tournament and he speaks perfect, fluent Canadian English.

Oh, shit. That was it. That was it, man. Oh, shit. Oh, shit, that's it. Yeah, we'll fucking throw a couple back later. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Zane-kun's going nuts. Oh, sorry, my son. Bye. He loses so much hair, he's like, fuck. That Timmy Hortons is oishikaku. We're definitely not going home. There's no way we're going to go home. I hope we don't, bro.

Oh, shit. Where are we at? Where are we at? We got 15 left? I guess we had a weird break. It's hard to say. Don't fucking worry about it. Bro, I'm fucking cold.

You're wearing a woman's coat and it looks beautiful on you. You know I look good. I've been saying that in the airport a lot. So, yes, I do. Dude, I'm not going to move off saying that in the airport a lot. Yes, I do. On the plane with Ludwig, we get our dinner a few hours into the flight. And mine was a duck. And I had bones in it. Can you keep any?

Yeah, he's feeding me his bones. I was taking the bones out. And I was making it look like I was finding him in the sea. I wish I was next to you. I would have loved that. Look how many bones there are in my sea. And then I had chapstick later. For lunch.

Dude, he puts on chapstick weird. He's going to mean about this, but he puts it on weird normally. My lips are really dry. Wait, wait, dude, do it. He has chapstick. Show the class how you put chapstick on. He's going to about this, but he puts it on weird normally. My lips are really dry. Wait, wait, dude, do it. He has chapstick. Show the class how you put chapstick on. He's gonna ruin my chapstick. You can afford more.

They're not gonna have... And I know he has chapstick because I reached into his bag in the lobby. They're not gonna have Burt's Bees here. So I'm just sitting next to Ludwig. He puts it on weird. And we're in the middle aisle. Show me how you do it. He puts it on like lipstick. And he pushes it out too far.

Dude, is this for real? So he started doing this without me like making, he wasn't making fun. And then I started looking. Stop. He doesn't, yeah, it's off-putting. I don't like it. It's off-putting.

It puts the people off. If you're an audio listener, he put it on like a fucking cartoon character. He's like, why are you doing it like that? Why are you doing it? He's like, don't you taste it? You a like a fucking cartoon character He's like don't you taste it you're like He goes he goes You keep that by the way you keep that I like how he's committed to physical comedy.

This is huge for me. Oh, you know what he also kept doing? We are the same. So, like, on the TVs, it's February. And so they had... It's what? It's February. It's February. I'm not going to stand for that.

What the fuck's wrong with that? It's February. I'm not going to fuck around and be around that. That's how you say it. How do you say it? You are being weird. Yeah. So it's February.

And so on top two movies are, I think it was Black Panther, Wakanda Forever. Yeah. And then I think another movie for like Black History Month. Mm-hmm. So Aiden starts- What's so funny, Aiden? Aiden starts booting up. He starts doing this the whole film.

No. No. He does it the whole film. They come ask if he wants his dinner. He's like, I'm still in my moment of silence. I'm still doing it. He does it the whole film. They come ask if he wants his dinner. He's like, I'm still in my moment of silence. I'm still doing it. He says, I don't eat until they eat. Why is he freaking out?

Why is Aiden freaking out? Why is he so funny? And then all the way, the flight attendants clap. They start clapping. They start clapping. They said, sir, that is the most powerful thing. We found him. He's right here.

I thought that was weird. It was weird to do. Dude, I saw him watching Black Panther. I was like, we can't tell Slime. I think Slime will bully him. You were watching Black Panther? Yeah, that's what I was saying. Oh, okay, okay.

He watched Black Panther, then he watched Wedding Crashers, and he didn't laugh once. Those are the two polar ends of diversity. He didn't laugh once, and I go, was it funny? He goes, Will Ferrell was funny. You didn't like Wedding Crashers?

You know it's based on like, Wait, was it the first time you've seen it? 15% of my humor is based on that. I think it's probably not funny. It was the first time you've seen it. I don't think it's aged well. It probably hasn't. A lot of those mid-2000s comedies certainly didn't.

I think the only part I thought was really, really funny was the end where he meets Chaz, and Chaz is Will Ferrell, and he still lives with his mom, and he goes to funerals to pick up girls. You like that shit. It was just so absurd and over the top. You know when he's like, you to funerals to, like, pick up girls. You like that shit. Like, that, because it was just so absurd and over the top. You know when he's like, you motorboat son of a bitch.

Like, that voice comes from that literal line. Like, I have based an entire accent based on that guy, that line in the movie. I'm just saying, it's just formative. I don't care if you like it or not, it's just formative. And I think it's interesting. The funny moments all were when Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are just like talking, like the very beginning

when they're talking to the divorce couple in the room. Like they're helping their lawyers and they're helping the couple get divorced. I'll go around to our most favorite part of Wedding Crashers. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm just saying,

I'm trying to tell you what I like about it. Yeah, I like this. I like this. And then all of the middle, I'm like, this is just like, this is just a bunch of scenes of them making fun of each other for getting raped.

Whoa. That's what the movie is. It's been a while since I've seen it. I haven't seen it, so I can't defend or deny it. It didn't feel. You're saying weird things now. You know what? I'm just going to say, I think you're a liar.

So that's easy to do. Yeah. Isn't that easy? Yeah, it feels liar. So that's easy to do. Yeah. Isn't that easy? Yeah, it feels good. But he's an ally for me. He's an ally? Mm-hmm. He's the farthest thing.

You are the farthest thing from an ally I've ever seen. Black Panther, also not very good, so. Whoa. Okay. Oh. You know, I thought it would be warmer because this is in the southern hemisphere. It's not. It's in the northern hemisphere.

So that's unfortunate. It's more north than us. No. Yes! That fucking is cap. It isn't. It isn't. This archipelagio.

Run that back. No, I said it. I said it right. This archipelagio. Yeah. Is in the northern hemisphere. Yeah, I just thought it. And it's very long. I said it I said it right This archipelagio Yeah Is in the northern hemisphere Yeah I just thought And it's very long I thought it'd be

What are you Yes sir And they have the highest Snowfall in the world In Hokkaido You know what When you said that It reminded me of when

When uh When Dennis walks To the room And like This is going on Long enough I don't know the reference But I like it I like it.

That's like that scene from Always Sunny that they have to shoot 50 times because they break over and over and over. He's morose. He's morose from cold. I'm morose? Yeah. You've shut down.

I have not shut down. Give me something. Give back to me. I said to Tommy Hilfiger earlier, no one laughed. I've been still thinking about that. I just thought he said something else. Yeah, he's been on that. I'm not morose. It's just I'm not

filling all the pockets because I am cold and I'm realizing. What meal are you guys most excited to eat here? What is this? Is this a stain? It's a fucking coffee stain. I didn't think anyone would fucking call me out. Is this today? No, it was like three months stain. I didn't think anyone would fucking call me out. Is this today?

No, it was like three months ago. And I didn't wash my pants for four weeks and the coffee stained it. For me, it's ramen. Dude, look at this. Stop pointing it out. Stop pointing it out. Stop pointing it out. Guys, stop making fun of him.

The guy who does his laundry all he comes up with. You know what's funny? The stain kind of looks like Texas. No, it doesn't look like Texas at all. You don't know. It looks like, if anything, South America. It looks like you front pooped. Yeah.

Why do you keep saying words weird? South America. Anyway, it got stained, and it got washed too late by my cleaner. His name's... Never mind. Just do your own fucking laundry. I think this episode has run its course, guys. How?

No, it hasn't. How? We've still got gas in the tank, and we're still good. I'm going to do my laundry here. I've got gas. I've got gas. I wanted to say something in the episode. I wanted to bring that in.

What? This is what you bring. I wanted to bring that in. That is what you wanted to come to the table with. He's bad at weed, right? Make him light. Make him light. Wait for like weed, right? I'm like weed. I've never let him clown on me again. Okay, that's crazy.

So it's the box, but it's also weed. Let me ask you a question, Ludwig. Do you, we had a theory on the train that you are damaged. And broken. And broken, and you are unable to experience the high... What's so funny, Aiden?

You piece of shit. What do you want? I think it's just funnier when it's cold. You look... You got the highest socks I've ever goddamn seen. No, so back to Ludwig. Ludwig's broken. I'm broken.

Why am I broken? Ludwig's broken because we have a theory that you cannot experience the lowest of lows but also not the highest of highs you're it's effectively it's a compressor on your emotional oscillation you have a vibrating egg in your butt in life you don't have a oh my god that's the box so okay you're telling me you're telling me That's not the highest What I'm saying is Because we were talking About you coming here

Having Paris Syndrome Being in Nippon Desu Wanting to kill yourself Whoa Never going back I play a chess game On the train But that's tight too

No you came You come to You have Paris Syndrome But basically The happiest you can possibly be Is ultimately capped Because you also The saddest you could possibly be is ultimately capped because you also, the saddest you could possibly be is also capped because you

don't let yourself go down there. And you are capped at the extremes of your emotion and that is both a plus and a minus. Is this true to you now? So like, it's like I'm taking an antidepressant? Yeah. Yeah. This is exactly how Josh described being on antidepressants. Yeah, it's what they do.

Yeah. Are you taking an antidepressant? No. That would explain what I'm saying about you. I don't think you're right. No, be honest. We said you were going to do this. We said, and I'll give you an out. We called this.

And I'll say that he's going to make a joke about this, thus confirming what I'm thinking. I think you're wrong. Oh, my God. I'm being serious. Thank God. Thank God I called it. I'm being serious. I'm so fucking, I'm just on the money

I think I experienced The low of the lows But what about The high of the highs I experienced the lows It's a lot of the lows It's only lows But I get the highs

And two Okay This is exactly How I thought this would go We haven't been here For very long yet What do you think You guys are happier than me

I'm not fucking You think you're happier than me I'm not with them You think you cry more than me? I'm different. I particularly have a more unlocked spectrum of emotional highs and lows that you don't have access to. I would cry more if we both watched a sad movie together.

Do you really think that's true? I think so. I think I would cry harder. Do you think that valid... Do you think that disproves what I'm saying? If Nick died, I would cry more. That's not true. If Aiden died, you'd cry more. That's not true. If Aiden died, you'd cry more.

That's not true. I wouldn't cry at all. Well, me neither. I hate you. Fuck you. Fuck you, man. I was going to ask you a nice question. Oh, sorry.

What was it? Because you have so... You've wanted to go to Japan for so long, and you have so much expectations. It's a new meow. I feel like when I say something, you're going to go to Japan for so long and you have so much expectations it's a new meow I feel like when I say something you're going to say weep no no no I'm not going to do it

I'm focused you have so many expectations of Japan built up why are you rubbing the mic around like... Is it living up to it right now? Or do you have Paris Syndrome for Japan?

And look, I don't want you to... We've been here for like 20 hours. Does this dude know it's been 20 hours? That's what I said. I said before. You guys cut me off. I said... I know we've only been here for 24 hours.

I think... Here's the thing. I'm a simple guy. Alright. What do I like? Pussy. Good pussy. Yeah. Money. Good weed. Good pussy.

I got one of those here. It's cash. Cash is king, baby. Cash is king. I think I'm easy going. Here's the thing about this trip for me. I am, this is going here's the thing about this trip for me I am it's not I don't have to worry about Paris Syndrome that's not my job

cause Connor is my tour guide you're such a fucking idiot let me finish my sentence and by the way we all need to be a little quieter go on Connor is gonna hook me up way, we all need to be a little quieter. Go on. You can't listen to talking, you know? Connor is going to hook me up.

Yeah. He, because every time he comes to LA, I coddle him and I treat him nice. That's why. It's a transactional friendship. No, it's not. I like him. He doesn't actually like you. No, I like him.

Wow. Because I didn't expect it back. I didn't expect it back. I genuinely didn't. I just like him. But it'd kind of be cool if he did. But it'd be cool if he did. It would be cool if he did.

Boy, he takes you on the fucking shoe. He's done it even more than I would have ever have asked for, but he's been like super already. He's planned out like a four day excursion. Oh, that's nice. So I think like, I just, I just get to experience it. I like consuming. I'm a consumer. Me too.

I like consumption. Okay. And so I like just, I'm gonna go around, eat food, drink good coffee, enjoy the sights. Have good conversations. You know? Yeah. Like really meet the people. Learn. I want to talk about stars and space. Do you realize

we're all stardust? Do you realize that? I think it requires a level of I have to get out of my comfort zone to not have Paris Syndrome here. What does your comfort zone consist of? Like, what? I don't know.

Like, a good example is at the bar last night. And the bar is, like, it's really small. And the way it works, like, specifically at Golden Boy is that it's a bunch of bars. It's, like, 50 bars. And then people who live around just pick a bar. And it's like their bar. And they go like two to three times a week. They have bottles with their names on it. Wow.

Like just a local. And that's like, that's just, that's where they've chosen to hang out. And every month one person is crowned the golden guy. Yeah. It's like cheers. It has a golden guy at the end. And so I'm making conversation with like these people. Right? What do you mean these people? making conversation with like these people, right?

What do you mean these people? What do you mean these people? It's like the people who are at the bar. Are you talking about Gaijins? No, the people at the bar. No, I'm talking about locals. Okay. But it's hard because like the language barrier, but I think that's like half the fun is like conversing with people from here.

You should show them Mogul mail. I did bring up I was a YouTuber. Yeah, well that's what we said in the... I tried to explain to the guy in the car, yeah. Yeah, so I was like, YouTuber, yum million subscribers. Yum? Yum. What is yum? Yum million.

Yum million. Sounds like a rapper. Yoan. Close. Yeah, not bad. They got it. Dude, everyone in the comments of the episode we just posted, they have diagnosed me as autistic. Fucking finally they're saying some fucking shit.

Is it because of the last of us? Is that the last straw? Maybe, but they're coding it as it's because I walk on my toes. And I've gotten a lot of- That's how they identify them in coffins. Like in old sarcophaguses. Yeah, King Toe was definitely autistic. Yeah, he was walking on his toes for sure.

You can see the curvature of his ankles. I think... It's insane. It's a frequent one, and everyone's like, oh shit, Slime's autistic because he walks on his toes. And he's like,

really, he's really conscious about his posture. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? I can't call you autistic or not. I don't have that ability. Yeah, because all these guys are doctors in the chat. They could be. But what I do know is that you do get incredibly stressed with sensory overload.

Yeah, I do. I think about that a lot, too. You shut down. You freak out. And you do play a lot of Kingdom Hearts. Now that I've fidgeted towards two. Okay, here's the thing. This theory has been floating around in the fan base for a while,

but it's just funny that me walking on my toes has brought out the most armchair doctors to say that I am autistic, which is insane to me. And it's like, find something else about me, because there's a lot. You know what I'm saying? Also, if I get diagnosed autistic by you fucking assholes in the comments, then I can make

the jokes. So, win-win. I don't think that's how it works. He does just mean that. We're taking it back. He's not taking it back. He doesn't believe this. Hey guys, no one's taking anything back. We'll all get home. I'm trying to make autism a household name.

You guys want to keep acting onions in the fucking comments. This is a bad plan. We'll see it, bro. You're dumb today. I'm not dumb. I'm not dumb. You're dumb. Dude, fucking nice.

Yeah, if you really take it back. Fuck yeah. Anyway, you look good. Here's the reality. You want your chapstick back? Fuck you look good. Here's the reality. You want your chapstick back? Fuck you, bro. Here's the reality. We won't know whether I have

Paris Syndrome or love this or not because it's only been like 24 hours. But you know who will know? Who's that? The people listening to the premium episode. Because we're going to record that at a later date. Because we're cold.

I'll have a better insight. I'll stick around this country. I'll talk to the people. I'll go around this country. I'll talk to the people. I'll go to the streets. I want to say, as much as it is funny to see you fail in general to me, I'm rooting for you. When do I fail? When do you see that? When do you enjoy it?

What is this? Is this a patch? Wait, wait, wait. Do you wear a nicotine patch? Do you know that I'm wearing a Shohei Otani jersey? He's so base. Also, is that? Oh, what? You think it's a problem to wear a Shohei Otani jersey? He's so based. Also, is that? Oh, what?

You think it's a problem to wear a Shohei jersey in Japan? Before we end. Before we end. I will say, I got a lot of looks. We were a little scathing earlier. So everybody has to say their favorite thing about Japan before the end of the episode. Oh. Yeah.

Everything. What's your favorite thing about Japan? I've been here for 20 hours. Dude, name your favorite thing in 20 hours. Yeah, you've been here before, though. I think it's still a good question. Come on. Do it.

Public transport, by far. I love taking it. It's fun to take it. Yeah. Good one. Do you? Name your favorite thing. I think it's still a good question. Public transport by far. I love taking it. It's fun to take it. Yeah. Favorite thing? Favorite thing? Honestly, I just like this is maybe not, this is like something that's available elsewhere in the planet. Maybe I'm weird or like quirky.

This is out of the box for me. I just like how compact and neat everything... The way a storefront will be. Holy shit, the autism. The allegations are huge. I'm sorry to read the comments. Come on. I like how all the shapes are perfectly spaced.

You guys want to diagnose me? Put that ankle down. Let me say what I want. Drop the ankle. want to diagnose me? Put that ankle down. Put that ankle down. Let me say what I want. Drop the ankle. Don't tell me to drop the ankle. What's your favorite thing so far? I'll hunker around.

I like, you know what I like? Yeah. I like the cash. I like the cash and the coins. Because cash is king. Cash is king. I like spending cash.

I like the vending machines. Cash is king. I like hopping to a vending machine and get a little drink. And there's hot sometimes. I like beverages. I love the vending machines I like hopping to a vending machine Get a little drink And there's hot sometimes I like beverages I love a beverage What's your shit? My favorite thing is

Getting Getting nice food At any corner convenience store Eating It's so easy Food's good Tastes so good This was way better than anything

You're being a hater Yeah of course You said public transportation Public transportation That's a stupid question Bro like that is Bro like a bunch of cities don't do it better. And that's why I made that question. You said throw me the light rail in Phoenix, Arizona.

You've got to listen to me. Hey, what do you say about Japan? You want the Patreon episode? A Brazilian-photographed light rail? We're not making a light rail for you. What? Neither are you. Brazilian rode the light rail everywhere.