The Yard - Ep. 86 - Ludwig's Fans Found His Stolen Car in 24 Hours

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

This week, the boys talk about stealing Ludwig's car back from a robber, someone who has broken the pescatarian bet, and how Slime has broken his promise...

🎵 Do you have an STD? Are you telling us this? Wait, yeah, why is it... I guess it's risky with everyone. But like, you specified. You did specify with you. It is risky with everyone, but you were like risky with everyone. But like, it's specified. You did specify it was you. It is risky with everyone, but you were like,

with me. I think it's risky because it's anyone. Yeah, baby. If you fuck me, it'll be a problem for you. Don't you like the gamble? I got venereal diseases. I haven't gotten a blood test in years.

You're, every fuck is like roulette with me. Yeah, that's what I, so you come in here. Your disease is what I found out's what I say you come in here Is what I found out no, but you come in here and you go straight to the chair You're tuning in a computer set because I said I wouldn't fuck him I didn't say it like that, but that was how I felt like I wanted to say it Oh, bro, I would be so good to do for me like a brilliant to women

Yeah Having sex with me is risky for sure. If he got a gun to your head, what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, because a lot of it comes in here, and he's fucking, he goes straight to the chair, and I'm like, yeah, you would fuck me doggy style, like just no emotion, no nothing, no mish, and he's like, I wouldn't fuck you,

and I was like, gun to your head, and he says he would take a bullet to his head, instead of fucking me, which is not true. Honestly, as well, if you and I had to have sex because of a genie that was mean, like...

Why can't we just stick with a bullet one? Because I'm just saying, it's like, I want it to be more fantastic, right, like a magical... So there's a mean genie like Jafar? Robin Williams is a genie, and he is forcing you to have sex with me. But what I'm saying is, I think you would enjoy it.

I don't think you can use your wishes for that. I wouldn't. I don't think you can. Is that in the genie code? I feel like the genie wouldn't be like, oh yeah you can have unconsensual sex. I don't think that also is true, but what I'm saying is- Could you like kill someone in power with the genie? I think you could kill people with the genie. Dude, the only wish is you can't wish for more wishes.

Other than that, fucking rock on. You're right. You can't wish for more wishes. This is the real rule. You can't wish for the movie to be over. Those are the only two that are banned. Yeah. But I want to settle this right here and now.

I'll never bring it up ever again. Fine. Not even doggy style. That's your one question. Because you can pretend I'm anyone else. Not you, bro. Not from the back. We know who that is.

Yeah, that's fucking right. I got that dumper. Welcome back to the yard, everybody. No, answer my question. I said no. No, that's not true. You would not die before having sex with me. That would be insane.

That would be insane. Just answer. Just answer. Do I have to say yes to proceed? I'm not gonna say that. It feels like that's what's happening. I'm saying I don't believe you when you say you would rather die than have doggy-style risky unprotected sex. So I have to say yes to proceed. Tell me you'll have sex with me or I'll summon a genie that'll force you.

No. You wouldn't die first. That's not fucking true. Your mom would be too sad. She would understand. That would be insane. She'd be like, it's a sign? It's a sign? It's a sign? It's gross. You say STD in English.

You die from Zet anyway. I was about to say you know you say you say STD in English you die you die you die you die you die you die you die you die

you die you die you die you die you die you die you die you die

you die you die you die you die I'll fucking drop it until next week Aiden's got two fucking coffee cups dude one for poop

one for poop one for pee why are you pouring yeah poop and pee only it's human day why do you have two cups you think I can pour one

why don't you guys why don't you guys rank if Aiden is selfish? So I came with extra coffee, one extra coffee in case anyone wanted one. And he was like, well, mine's small. No. So I'll take it because I already have a small one. So I'll just take the small one.

So now I have two coffees. That's insane. He was driving. He couldn't respond. I door dashed while on the road. Oh, never mind. Actually more risky. No, never mind. Actually more risky. No, I did something much more dangerous.

What I do is I put it in when I start the drive. And then I wait to time it. That's smart. So I'm only clicking like place order and double clicking. Hitting the trick shot. What are you doing? That makes it colder. Human day.

It does make it colder. It's human day. It's time to be a human with my coffee human now. You got weird when you shaved your head. Aiden hasn't talked in the episode yet. He hasn't said anything. I'm so tired. You tired, Bearsmead?

What time did you go to bed? Like three. Oh, yeah, you got it. And then I got here on time. I, look, let me tell you, there's some accidents. You forgot traffic existed. No, I left early. I left. I did the thing where it says, what time do you want to leave? And I said, I want to, let me tell you, there's some accidents. You forgot traffic existed. No, I left early. I left, I did the thing where it says, uh, what time do you want to leave?

And I said, I want to leave at this hour. And it said, okay, it'll take this long. And I said, swag. And I left at that time. And then, and then I got booed. Oh, I feel like that shit doesn't work in LA. I was, I just trusted. I trusted with my whole soul.

Yeah, I don't blame him for like, at least doing the work. It's not like he woke up and didn't think there'd be traffic. He like, he did some work. Yeah, yeah. So I appreciate that. I knew there would be traffic. This is the earliest we at least doing the work. It's not like he woke up and didn't think there'd be traffic. He did some work. Yeah, yeah. So I appreciate that. I knew there would be traffic. This is the earliest we've ever recorded the show. Yeah.

Dude, it's like 8 a.m. I'm good with this. I've been getting up at 7.45 every day, five days straight, working like at 8 to 6 p.m. Guy who talks about getting up all the time. Hold on. Were you, be honest, were you working up, have you been waking up at 9.45 Texas time?

No, no, no, I've been waking up at 7.45 Texas time. Oh. I've been waking up at 5.45. I guess you just got back, right? I got back, yeah, two days ago. Never mind, this is impressive. Wait, oh, is it because of the schedule of being at Alveas? Why are we up so early? I had a secret shoot that I can't leak yet, but I had to do.

It was basically a big commercial, and so I had to do that. And, bro, it was exhausting. I would get home, and I'd fall asleep at, like, 8 p.m. And they turned you out? They turned me out. Yeah? at like 8 p.m. And they turned you out?

They turned me out. Yeah? It was like a 100-person crew, which is crazy to work on because they have like 10 PAs. And so anything I do, I'm followed around like the president's son. Wow. Except a way smaller dick.

What? Hunter Biden's dick is gigantic. Oh, it is huge. So you know how the Republicans are always talking about the laptop? You've never seen my dick. What? You've never seen my dick hard.

Here we go. You've never seen Hunter Biden soft. Yeah, we're in the same room. Yeah, Republicans love Hunter Biden's dick. That was it. it's one of the horcruxes for biden yeah they have to crack it open like a big complete nine cogs i think i think it's so big that story circulated in the news for so long that i just i just assumed that the laptop must have some sort of dark Illuminati secret

or national security point on it, but it's just pictures of his cock. His really big, rock-hard cock. And him doing coke and him doing crack. And Republicans are like, this is it. This is our thing. It's the smoking gun. We've got it.

We've got his cock. Finally. This is it. This is our thing. It's the smoking gun. This is. We've got it. We've got his cock. So, yeah, a ton happened, by the way. Also, a lot of people are probably here to hear about the big scoop. The scoopy bears. Your truck got stolen. I know. What a saga.

We recovered it. Ludwig's gone this whole time, which was crazy. I'm in Texas trying to navigate this on my phone. I'm on my phone like the entire day. It was like Pulp Fiction. It literally was. There were so many different people who were involved in this story that all converged at the end. Let me send Zipper. Stall, stall.

Surely everybody's heard about this by now, but a little recap. I got my Subi Sandbar, 1997 1997 straight out of nippon desu it was shipped here 5500 1800 import fees and we kept it at this at the studio where we record the yard partially because i didn't ever fix the tires because it's kind of hard to find someone and yingling was on the case and we just kind of we kind of let it slide it's one of those things yeah we just let it one of those things you leave the keys in the ignition i didn't leave the keys in the ignition but there was a spare key somewhere in there a key got left to be clear a key was left in the car i have a key a key was left in the car somewhere but i look i've only i've only ridden this car twice i rode it home and then the tire burst i change it out for a spare tire i rode it here and then i

guess i rode it one more time when we did our shoot. So I've only ever ridden it three times ever and then I thought I would fix it and then life happened and I drove my Volkswagen around because it was more convenient. Do you feel guilty at all? Like that Nick Yingling had to basically do backflips into your pussy to try

to get this truck back? Do I feel guilty? Do you feel guilty? No. About the pussy back about the pussy i don't feel i feel i it's not like this is intentional i know it's not intentional but also you could have just like took the key inside and this never happened i didn't know there was a key in there on god i on god have if it's a spare that makes sense if anything if anything it could be yigley's fault because he was the only other person that could know that there was a deal. I do like that idea. I'm not going to just blame you.

I've read this three times. I wouldn't blame Yingling. We can't flip it. It's Yingling's fault. I would love to. Oh, it's Yingling? Yingling is great. He is like a loyal sword.

But he's also, sometimes, he can't be relied on for information. But he's also, sometimes, he can't be, like, relied on for information. And I will now tell you this story of how we got Ludwig's car back. The car was stolen on Saturday. I get a call from Amon. Wait, wait, why are you doing the rain pose from Mortal Kombat? You should do this way more. The car was stolen Saturday night. I get a call from Amon.

This is, like, guys, he's also purple. Let me finish! You're Carmel dancing right now. You guys are all messing up my story. He's also purple. Let me finish! You're Carmel dancing right now. You guys are all messing up my story. The car was stolen Saturday night, and Eamon calls me Sunday morning, and he goes, I got bad news. Hey, did you maybe take your car today?

Did you say it like that? No, I didn't call you. Yeah, he did that. He did that. He goes, I got bad news. Your car was... He's describing you. You sound fucking stupid. It was like the office space guy, and he's like, I got bad news. Your car was. He's describing you. You sound fucking stupid. It was like the office space guy.

And he's like, we got to move your desk. We need those car reports. Your car was stolen. I called him? And I was like, oh. You called me. I can't believe you don't remember. And I was like, oh, Amy, no.

And you're like, dude, not that big of a deal. You're rich. And I was like, bro, I love this car. Which is also not true because you never drive it or do anything with it. And then you shouldn't chime in because you're cringe. And then Eamon finished and he went, and then he hung up. And then

that started me being sad. Me, my sad journey while I'm on my film set shooting a commercial. Do you bring that to the shoot? I try to keep the energy at home, but honestly, it's hard to separate work and life.

My character's sad now, guys, and that's just how- My subtext is sad today. Yeah. And so, and so, it starts, and then Aiden

fucks the whole operation up. Again. Like a cantaloupe. Here's what happens. Wormed up in the microwave. I drop the video. I drop the video. I make it during my lunch break

during this commercial. I drop a video that says, I got robbed. Video goes fucking a little viral. I make a tweet about it too. Instantly people start DMing about car's location. All right. And they're like, and they're trying to find things. And, and I call Yingling cause I see a post and I see a car that looks like mine. I'm like, yo, Yingling, I think somebody found it. Can you go get it? And he's like, I'm actually on my way to a car right now that Aiden sent me wrong car, red herring. you go get it. And he's like, I'm actually on my way to a car right now that Aiden sent me. Wrong car.

Red herring. It was a red herring. A viewer had sent a different sandbar So this is good context for later. Go on. So Yingo's like, I'm gonna go check this one out and then go to your place. And then I'm like sounds good, Yingo. You're like the most loyal person in the world and he makes him sound like a fucking nerd.

I mean, how else do you do the Yingling impression, man? Big points. I'm on my way right now. Fuck Lud! This car is gonna be found or the guy's gonna be dead. Okay. Well, it's a gun. Do you think you would kill for me? Yeah, I actually do. No way! No, I think I think at first he'd be like no I'm not gonna kill someone for you Ludwig and then you could convince him in like two hours. Two hours? Yeah, I think two hours max. Yeah, we shouldn't spend max. Wow. We should-

We didn't spend a lot of time with Yingling playing video games. Yingling would hardly change attire for you and then he'd tweet, I had the craziest day ever. That's the thing, that's the same. Like he would- He would kill. He would drown a guy in a bathtub and be like, bro, we're working for Mogul, move some movie.

Dude. That's what my- he's Boy Who Cried Wolf because he hits the My Life of Movie for real for real all the time So when he actually kills somebody, nobody will suspect anything And that's smart Clever, Gale That's right So anyway, he falls through this red herring Then he goes back up north in LA to the place that I sent him, Sylmar

That I tweeted out about Don't forget Sylmar, bro And on the way, he didn't even have keys So I basically like coordinated an Uber. Uber eats him the keys. Yeah, I coordinated an Uber. And I had to speak to this woman who did not speak English about how we were going to give her a key to give to Nicky Angley.

Wait, Uber has a setting. What? Yeah, yeah. Have you not done that? You can just choose to send an item. Uber items. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.

I just called the Uber driver. I was like, I'll tip you big time. It's literally for that purpose. I did it on my backpack at riot. That would have been good to know. Cause you like take a photo of the item and it's like, didn't do that. Well,

she, she steals the car. Oh man, I'm a wretch. Uh, and, and the reason was cause Yingling doesn't drive standard and you, you kind of do.

I can't. Yeah. I drove the Subaru for a while. Not the truck, but the car you got me. Uh, and so then you two went on a mission because it was found again.

Because it was in Sylmar and it was kind of moving around. But I was getting almost by the hour updates. Dude, the Ludbud spy network goes extremely deep. I'm just refreshing my Twitter. You had all the CCTV cameras in SoCal. You had all of them active. Yeah. It was like the Dark Knight when Lucius qu quits lucius fox yeah and conveniently and that's why and that's why we

have to delete the subreddit because it's not funny and it's unethical conveniently the car is very unique but also even for k trucks it's unique because it had writing from when it originally got imported not wiping that off is so funny. And it also had a dent in the front right that looks like it was shoddily repaired. You know what's funny? I bet he tried to wipe it off because I remember we wiped off almost the rest of it because we were trying to do that photo shoot with it. Yeah.

And that's the stuff that just wouldn't come off. And I was like, ah, fuck it. You know, it's on the window. Yeah. You take a razor blade. Yeah, but it took forever. I was trying to scrape it all. It was just taking so long. Did you have a razor blade? Yeah. Yeah. I had like, ah, fuck it. You know, it's on the window. Yeah. You take a razor blade. Yeah, but it took forever. I was trying to scrape it all. It was just taking so long.

Did you have a razor blade? Yeah. Yeah. I had like a thing. Okay. So. Enter slime on the scene. So I'm at home.

I'm on the floor. I'm on my rug watching YouTube. Nick Inge. Peter's on. He calls me. My heater's on. Which either the heater or this man cursed us, me, and gave me hives. Remember my hives?

Yeah. We'll get to the hives. We'll get to the hives in a bit let's right we just talked about my hives i feel like we should wait for the high we should finish the story we're on and then we can go to 2039 in this podcast to hear about slimes high and you'll hear all about it put your arm back up you're gonna hear about that. Don't touch him. You touch him. You're not supposed to touch the hives. That's why hooking up with me, Ludwig, is dangerous. Yeah.

This doesn't make me want to do it. You're using it with, like, a Riz voice, but, like... So you admit that you wanted to do it. No, I... You admit that you wanted to do it. You're like, well, I was on the fence with the hives. Let's go back. No, I misspoke.

Let's go back. I misspoke. I just want you to fuck me good once. You're on the way! With Nick Yingling Let's go back. I misspoke. I just want you to fuck me good once. You're on the way. With Nick Yingling and also Bunth? So, okay. He calls me up.

He says, I can't drive a stick, but we found out where it is. I have a key and we can go get it, but I can't drive stick. Also, I think Nick Yingling would have done this alone if he could drive stick because that's how loyal he is. So I'm like, well, I can drive.

How about you come over to my house and we'll uh we'll go together and you know we'll see what happens and then he messages me and you can pull up the message your zipper uh he says he messaged me after we call he's like my brain is feeling like i should just pull up and stake it out and get it towed i don't know i feel nervous about us pulling up and just trying to take it back why would a regular person just bring it back on a regular-ass street? Or why would this person do it? Thoughts? And I was like, I've been thinking about it a lot.

We might get shot at. Staking it out is probably better, but stealing it back is hype. And then Nick Ely said, here are my two scenarios. A, the guy has no idea who Ludwig is and just wanted the truck and thinks he got away with it. Or B, crazy Ludbud stole it and set it up because he thinks he's Ludwig. Because he thinks Ludwig will try and set it up because he thinks he's Ludwig, because he thinks Ludwig will try and take back what's his. Second scenario's

very unlikely. That's what I thought too. And it could have stopped at the next one. And maybe it was more likely, but the rest of it... We also knew at this point loosely that the person who stole it was not a Ludwig, because we had a witness of the guy. Yeah, that was a part of the story we skipped. The description because we had a witness of the guy yeah description was we had a

witness who's like base didn't like see it directly happen but like noticed it down the street later and knew it was ours and then went over and put a boot on it so the person couldn't take it again a handy person and they booted it on our behalf and the person and the person who stole it came back broke the boot off change the tire and restall came back, broke the boot off, changed the tire, and restole it. Wait, they changed the tire? Yeah, they replaced the shitty spare. What a king!

I know, right? It's like some real operation shit. Oh my gosh, we should pay that. Exactly. It was like a huge lug butt. They were all the way to the bottom of the body. This guy's had a spare for fucking months. Yeah, right? When we steal this, fix it, bring it back.

Does Exhibit work in Sylmar? Exhibit? Yeah. Like, from my ride? Maybe he was taking it. Maybe he was phasing in and out of an alley somewhere. He was trying to pimp the ride for us. Bring it back. It was a favor.

He brings it back just, like, pretty much the same. It's just dope. I don't know. He brings it back. The steering wheel's on the left. That would be tight so so i'm uh i messaged uh yingling back i'm like lmao it is kind of wild but honestly i don't i think don't think it's a setup because there's no reason ludwig wouldn't just call the cops uh he said that's also true so i guess the person who stole it just doesn't know who lud is and then i said did the lud bud give location he said yes but two ones, one earlier today on Reddit, and then another in 30 minutes, 30 minutes ago that

said it was back in the same spot. I said, let's just pull up on the spot and see. He says, all right, keys will be in my place at 1020. And I say, okay. So Yingling comes over. At the time, Mike is also over because he was helping out with a thing we were doing the next day. So Mike was just staying at my house. Mike is Bunthers, a.k.a. Club Lights, a.k.a. our friend for years who also works for the company. So he's just staying at my house. He shows up before Yingling.

I was like, oh, Yingling's coming over. We found the truck. We're going to go steal it back. Do you want to come? And he's like, fuck yeah. So I was like, okay, we got a three-man squad. Great. You actually have a fucking crew. You've got a bald dude, you've got a sk-man squad great you actually you actually have a fucking crew you got a bald dude you got a skater yeah uh you've got yingling and we've got nick who understands car insurance people who might steal a car who loves dutch bros um and so so we're like

all right what's that so again so i posted that video on twitter of us opening it and there's a guy inside yeah right like which i'm sure most people have seen is also in the beginning of this this podcast everyone was talking shit everyone's weighing in on what they would have done and shit guys we didn't know there was a person in there literally until we got up you opened the car like there was a spider on the handle dude you're like all right so uh the first video zipper i'll show you this is us literally getting out i I handed Mike my phone. I was like, you're cameraman. I'll do the kickflip. Yingling's the hype man. And let's go. So this is us turning the corner on it. Look at that. Look at that. There's a fucking puddle here.

You guys look like you're gonna steal it. I know. You look like thieves. But it's ours. We take it back. I know, but like... So, okay. There's a sombrero in the front i met i comment on that i was like is this the car which means he might be a cowboy which is scary can you pause here zipper also at this point i can't tell there's a guy in this car right so

yeah right so also there's a couple things going on we don't know there's a guy in the car it's foggy we're also like about to steal back a car which none of us have ever done uh and it's we we don't know if like the person who has it is like dangerous like they're willing to steal a car what else are they willing to do um also yingling isn't sure this is the one even he even says like those are the markings but he to this point is not confident enough that this is the car and i am just a hired mercenary at this point yeah so so put yourself in and i'm... And I'm the muscle. I'm the muscle.

Are you the muscle of the group? It's not Yingling. I mean, he opened the door. He's baby driver. He opened the door, though. You're baby driver. I guess I am baby driver. Oh, Bunk is the muscle, yeah.

Yingling is again Yingling. And by this point, Slime's already put his headphones and sunglasses on because he doesn't want sensory overload. Oh, my God. Also, dude, on the way,

we were so... I was so pissy because Ying ain't even driving my car because i'm i'm the wheel man and so i need to get out i don't know why you drove my car there i was in it with him but it's it's like downpour it is so rainy it's like scary to drive in my like newer car that is a little bit higher and i'm like i have to drive this piece of shit back stick okay first of all this piece of shit would have crushed. In the fucking rain? This is going to suck.

Dude, the first time you drove it, it got a flat. Wow. There was a big bump. So part of the plan was, like, if it's too rainy, it actually would chill out in Silmar. If it's too rainy, we'll just go somewhere where it's, like, a gas station or something and then get it towed back because I don't want to drive it.

But we did want to, like, secure it, secure it right so either way this is the plan and then uh and so i want you to put yourself into my head we i don't know if this is actually the car because like aiden had said there was a red herring or ludwig said the red herring had happened before it has shit in it that we don't know about yingling isn't sure who's our point man on all intel, who is, that's bad for us, right? He also left the documents in the car, my car, which is around the corner, so we couldn't, like, check the VIN or anything.

We just had a key, and we had a pocket full of dreams. Um, so go and play the rest. So this is what you saw on Twitter. Obviously we can't see, and then there's a guy in the car! He's back! car Okay pause right here We don't know what the fuck is going on. There's now a guy in this car. This could be his

Week he could be a bad guy. We're like uh What the fuck's going on? Yeah? I remember when I saw this for the first time it was the the night of, because you'd posted it, and the first thing I said was like, yeah, good choice not just pulling this guy out of the car, because he could kill you. Right. But I needed to say that first so I could say that, but I wanted to pull him out.

Knowing very well that in your shoes, I likely would not try to pull him out. Oh my god, Aiden was so fucking annoying later on. It was so funny. Wait, why? I'll tell you. So, okay. So, play the rest. Uh, this is what you saw on Twitter. I was like, hey bro, we gotta take it back.

He has a key. Yeah. And now we're really confused. Cause that was a game changer. That's a game changer. And so now, all this information of being unsure, he has a fucking key and he's showing us. Which is, again, you think back and you're like, why would he just show the key if it was his car i'd be like what the fuck are you doing get out of here yeah yeah right but all this like weird information we're like

what the fuck do we do yingling doesn't also i was so mad at him after this all happened i'll go back to it but he was like i have a confession to make and that's what i was gonna say dude and i'm like what it's me and Mike in the car. I'm like, what are you talking about? You know, he's like, I think the key was in the car and that's how he stole it. And I'm like, why didn't you just tell us this? He told me that before this happened. This is why Yingling is shit at Intel and being a point man. Because he sat there at the end and was like, I have a confession.

Yingling's the wild card. He's not the point man. God damn it. You hired a wild card as a damn it. You hired a wild card as a point man, you get a wild card as a point man. Like, what do you want? To be clear, you hired the wild card. Yeah, because he'll take any job.

Okay? For the low, low price. He leaves gaffer and gaffer only. Oh my god. So, okay. So we start talking to this guy There's a lot I microcord the whole conversation And it's like six minutes worth

But there's a couple key points Play the next one Zipper And you can See if you can hear it I've never seen this one Is it your car? Give me $10,000 Then you can try it

How's that? $10,000 So pause it Can we turn it up by chance? He says I want $10,000 right now And I'll give it back and so at this point It's like what the fuck it's like it's like obviously something happened. We bought the car for less than that yeah, yeah

Keep going Somebody owe me money where I got it from, okay? Where'd you get it from? That's irrelevant, okay? Okay, well, what they did... This guy built some confidence in the tenure of your conversation. Yeah, he realized we weren't going to put hands on him. We, like, probably... He realized you were scared, I think.

Yeah, right? And so he starts being able to negotiate. There's just, like, this social energy that happens in situations like this. It's also, like, when you're in a fight or or people are fighting it's like you can tell who's trying to break up the fight you can tell who's trying to kill the other guy right so it's like you're like reading subtext and like this this weird situation and he realizes that we're not going to do anything because i'm not going to put hands on a guy we don't know if it's our car everything's weird also it's like we don't need to fucking do this we just we found out the car where we just call the cops we'll figure it out it's not that that Everything's weird. Also, it's like, we don't need to fucking do this. We just, we found out the car,

we just call the cops, we'll figure it out. It's not that that will help anything because they were so useless. It's so funny because at this point, Yingling definitely knows it's the car

because he knows the key was here. But he didn't say anything! Oh my god, Nick Yingling! I, I, it was great. I love him. He's our point, man.

He got us 10 chairs yesterday. He got it back. He's like, he's like, no, this Gabby Lutz car has a cowboy hat in it. Dude. It just doesn't have, like, object. Oh, my God. Okay, so in this, he says, I want $10,000 right now. The guy who gave this to me owes me a lot of money.

And I'm like, okay, well, now, if this is true, this kind of, like, makes sense. Can you go back, like, five seconds and then play it again? Where'd you get it from? That's irrelevant. Okay. Okay. Well what they did is they stole it They stole this car and they gave it to you if that's what you're saying So we need to take it back because this is our car. I'll take the motherfucker back where I got it from Where they owe me fucking money, okay? Let's go Okay, so what happened there is i said if that's true they stole the car they stole it they gave it to you as for some reason like

collateral collateral your debt your deal in this world and uh it's ours and we're we that's why we kept wanting to try the key it's like look this is fucking ours he's like no you're not doing that okay well i'm not gonna fucking touch you put hands on you, whatever. And so then the whole conversation became he wanted to drive it back to where he got it and meet us there. Yeah, which is like an hour away. Yeah, and I'm like, that's not going to happen. Because he's just not going to meet you. Yeah, it's like, what am I going to do? Go get my car, follow him the whole way in the fucking rain.

And then we got to face off with him. And then he's like, also, I want a thousand dollars when we get there. And I'm like, I was like, I'll give you a thousand dollars right now. You get out and we take it.

He's like, I'll get a fucking thousand dollars when we get that sweetens the deal for me. I'm like, all right, this is obviously not working. So I was like, it also makes no sense. Why would you want to drive somewhere where you have no way back instead of

just receiving it in cash? Maybe that was his home base. Maybe that's where he responds. Yeah. And so it was like, it was so stupid and convoluted and then finally was like all right listen we're not doing any of this either you give us this back or we're just gonna call the cops we we like this is obviously our car uh you're obviously like weird we're not gonna fucking do anything um and that's it and he's like fucking fine like call the cops i don't give a fuck i'm like okay and so he did and then he's like i'll meet you guys there and he just drove off yeah i think he cared i think he cared that you called the cops and he was like all right

and so we just did the cops come we have to sit there dude it took like 40 minutes for them to show up uh so it's like if a crime had happened it's definitely long past uh they show up they they were so useless it was crazy at least they weren't like mean or anything because usually when cops show up and they have nothing to do they get kind of pissy but they were uh they're like yeah uh you're gonna have to call up like the division uh of that where it was taken and like just report it we can also say that you guys called us and you saw it, but we can't really do anything.

We're like, okay, that kind of makes sense. I figured. And so just completely useless. We just drive home. And that was it. Yeah, I've realized as I got older that cops don't have a lot more power. They're just guys with guns.

Have they solved any crime? Ever? They'd be solving who did 9-11 That was the FBI The cops solved that one There's a cop on the street who sees it and is like I know who that is He's like, OSAMA! No!

Not as oil right now 9-11 happens and the fucking LAPD political chief is like, we'll take this one. He's like, I knew this was a result of Afghanistan being invaded by Russia. I'm pretty sure a plane did it, guys. We've pulled our top guy for this. So yeah, so it was like- I get a call, devastating news. Yingling's like, I got bad news.

I'm like, what? And he's like- I got bad news. So we got the call, and we talked to the guy, but he drove off and he sends me the video that you posted on Twitter later. And I was like, oh, I was so sad. I went to bed like just fucking sad. It's like one thirty at the wake up at seven thirty. Just like we found it.

I thought we had it in the bag. Can I ask you a question? Is this not to judge you, but why? Like you don't even you got this car and haven't like touched it since the reason i haven't touched it is just because it needed repairing and then i asked yingling if he could find someone and it's it's just taking i believe you it's called loss aversion it just hurts to lose things because like to me it's like well there's also i have a plan for this to be my full-time baby i'm getting rid of my car and you're gonna going to drive it for real? And this is going to be my guy.

Okay. That makes sense. I have no other guy. It's kind of like you get a cool toy for Christmas and it just sits on the shelf. That's what I've seen. Sometimes. But like, for example, my Vespa sat in my garage for three months before I ever took it out. Yeah, now it's like you're in love.

This is a good counter-argument. Okay. This is good evidence. They were best friends in high school, and then after high school, it really took off. Exactly. All right. Yeah, that makes sense. So you're bummed.

So I'm bummed, and I'm spending basically every wake and second when I'm up just refreshing Twitter messages in my Reddit. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't bring this up, but when we were confronting the guy, Ludblood Task Force shows up. You know their handles and stuff yeah yeah uh but i i'm sorry i have it on the video too i just didn't

send it but three guys just fucking approach us like while we're talking to this guy at that point with backup you don't say all right well they don't know who they are right uh no we don't know like they come up to us and we're like oh fuck what's going on here and uh and yingling thanks for getting like jumped and i'm like that's not how this like works like this guy wouldn't have friends that defend him but either way these three guys just show up and we're like looking at them and they're looking at us and one of them's like yo what's up slime i'm okay, we're among friends. Which might mean he's in a gang or that he knows you. Yeah, but dude, that's crazy.

The Ludbuds just show up at like midnight. Balls of steel. It is. Balls of steel. So shout out to those three guys. Who tweeted out? I think Smallon tweeted out. It was like stealing Ludwig's car is like killing John Wick's dog.

Yeah. Because it just sent the Ludbuds out like rabid animals throughout the streets of LA. The spy network is insane. Yeah, it is crazy. And. Just sent the Ludd buds out like rabid animals. The spy network is insane. Yeah, it is crazy. And so they, they were kind of just hanging out and then they watched the guy drive off too.

And then we started talking. He's like, yeah, I like saw, he told me the story of like how he saw it, how they've been like, they've been staking it out. Like,

okay, that's great. We like thanked them. They were real cool. They're probably the guys who originally messaged me. Young guys. Yeah. They were going out in that area.

I do know that when a car is stolen, normally what're supposed to do if you steal a car is park it in a street far away like you know and then just leave it there for a while until it gets like a little colder and people aren't looking for it as much yeah like cops jobs in general are to report crimes and then just if if it happens that it things get found they find it right like there's not enough manpower and also i believe they're not educated enough to like solve crimes yeah so it just becomes a the task is documentation and shooting people in the head i imagine more more um accurately that the the workload is like there is a list of stolen cars that day and then that week. And then if like three weeks pass, it's like, OK, you're worried about the car stolen more recently than the one three weeks ago. It's easier to find. Why would I help find the car if I could just drop memes in the white scorpion group chat instead?

White scorpions. That's what i'm saying you're right uh also sam another fuck my disgusting wife she got her car stolen and she got it she got hers back because they just found it same same situation a guy was like living in it it was trashed but like she it was gone hers was gone for like Three months Really Right Like And she just got lucky My guess with that Is like The person is living In their car

In an area Where you're not allowed to And then when they Go roll the person They're like They run the plate And they're like Is this you

Nope I imagine if you're A cop And you run into that a lot You can just You probably profile And you're like Okay this guy's living

In his car In an area You're not supposed To be in generally It's probably a stolen vehicle Let me just run the plates. Is there a poop corner in your car? Yeah.

And then you shoot him in the head and you take it back. You take back what's yours. Exactly. And so what happens later, how we get the car back, right? It's still gone. What happens is the guy, he, and this is in Ludwig's video where he gets it back, right? The guy parks at Jin's Massage, shouts out. Yeah, next day I wake up to a reddit message or reddit post from suffer

Shout out suffer and like 30 DMS, and I get I'm up really early So I see within like 10 minutes of it being posted I call Yingling like 15 times. It's like 8 a.m. There's something he's snoozing he was up late. He was up late looking for the car the guy getting a massage I think he was in Jin's massage getting his shit worked. Okay, bro, if you are stealing a car, but you got enough to get a fucking tug from Jin's massage, and you're also a cowboy, this is a very interesting critter we have going on here. I will say he's a critter for you. He was not a good car thief in the sense that he was still in Silmar.

Yeah, yeah. Like, spotted in Silmar by the people who have the car, and then he was like, I'll get one massage before I leave. He was on some flip-in, flip-out shit. Yeah, that's true. He really isn't—I think the big weird thing to me is that you guys, after, like, a face-to-face encounter with the people that the car was stolen from, you're not putting together that, oh, these people can find the car. Like, why not drive up the fucking Oxnard?

Well, I think, I think there's probably a, like, he didn't realize. He didn't realize he was, he thought he was going up against these three chug-a-fugs. Yeah, that's true. He's like, I got him. He was going up against like a 10,000 person spy network in Los Angeles. I think it's so, this guy got so unlucky. Yeah. Like imagine it's just like, oh, shitty little fucking dinky car that's stuck in this line. Don't use it.

I'll just, I'll just do it. Shitty spare tire. Let me fix the spare tire off. Oh, fuck, it's mine. It's like, he probably, he probably thought about it for like two fucking weeks straight. He's like, yeah, I'll just, you know what? I'm going to steal it tonight. Tonight's the night.

I'm going out. I'm stealing it. Especially since the power is out. It's just owned by a millionaire with, with a network of 20 year olds around la here's here's my thought and also i don't like this as annoying as that guy was i don't think like you're an evil person for stealing a car like he's probably just like he was obviously living in it so what i think is it's been raining like crazy here yeah i think he probably like was checking cars to get out of the rain. And then he found the jackpot.

This is the most gracious you've ever been to another human. I don't think this is true at all. I don't know. I'm just trying to like fucking. I can understand that rationale, but like I don't think you trip into Grand Theft Auto. No, it's like obviously you live a life where you're willing to steal cars and stuff but also it's been like downpouring for two weeks he maybe he like he's not a good guy but he's not he like he got into a car that was unlocked and he's like oh shit if i'm if i'm i if i'm homeless in

this amount of rain i might be stealing cars i'm saying i don't think he was like transporting like like parking cones and like oh yeah it was crazy this guy was saying though I get it He was like transporting Like parking cones And like Oh yeah it was crazy This guy was I thought It was like Stealing a clown car

To like use it Like he was like Using it to transport Like things To use for like What looked like for work I don't know I'm a little more sympathetic

But it's like He did also try to hustle you For 10k on it I would have done the same thing Right Like I was thinking It's like What would I do to survive

Like fucking run it But either way he's he so what he actually did so the car is a gin's massage it gets called in the cops come and it gets towed someone reportedly saw the guy see what was going on and take off on suffer yeah uh which is really funny but he what he also did is he got a license plate From a different car So he's unscrewed a license plate from I think like a Jetta And then put it on It's actually from the car in your video No shit

That's the running theory yeah Because if you look at the video In the video it's parked up really close So you can't see the back plate So it's like a cop wouldn't see an unmarked car And be like whoa what's going on Yeah so he swapped the plate from his Volkswagen presumably or a Volkswagen Yeah, so yeah

You can see like it's just really nut to butt Because he can stay in there all night and he won't get fucked with or he's just the fucking most baller parallel parker of all time No, there's no car in front. Yeah, there used to be all time. No, there was nothing in front of him. There used to be. I'm trying to give him more stats.

We're paying the cool guy. And then it gets towed back. And Eagling sends us a fucking mission complete image. Mission complete. So is that your place now?

Yeah, it's right now chilling at my place. It's getting cleaned today. You're treating her a little nicer than you were before? Yeah, we're getting her cleaned out today.

We have some plans to get her tires fixed up You keep his old dreamcatcher you put in it We saw his his his two car batteries. Okay, so have them So if you still want to make math guy we can give those back. Yeah, 100% We can also give it to you in either form Diverse assistant I think I want to do a paint job and then call it a day. But I do realize I have an issue with it, which now it is top fucking hundred most recognizable cars in LA.

Yeah. Wherever you go, that's Ludwig. Yeah. And anything you do to modify it will just make it even more recognizable. Well, that's maybe I modify it so it's not recognizable. Like by making it a regular car? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I filled out the back so it's no longer a pickup. Right? I make it a little boxier. A Honda Civic body kit. A Honda Civic. All right. Anime stickers in the windows. Yep.

Keep the same engine. Honestly, that's how nobody recognizes it. Would you become like a Honda Civic guy? I put a bunch of League memorabilia around it. And everyone, instead of thinking that's Ludwig's car, they go, what a fucking loser. That guy wants to be Ludwig so bad. That's what they would think. And then no one will know.

So anyway, if you're in LA, buy a K-truck. That way I can disguise myself. Yeah, convince all your fans to just buy one themselves. We'll do a K-truck meetup once a year. We'll all chill. That's what you get. You get to hang out with Ludwig at the meetup, at the rally. At the rally. And we rally at the rally and we

Are the I can see yes, sir, and it'd be beautiful. They'll be there. What's the law is a lot lizard extravaganza? Oh, you'll have a lot lizard I got a job at the company you work that you know That's not how you found him. We picked him up off of fucking... I got a job at the company you worked at. That was awesome. Your job was being a lot easier. We picked him up off the fucking...

I don't even know what it is, but now I believe you're a lot more useful than I am. Yeah. Sucking and fucking for every dollar he could find. A lot lizard is a prostitute who hangs out at truck stops mostly. There you go. That's a career.

I didn't do that. I mean, it's... Yeah, it's Smash GG. That was your title. Whatever you gotta do for money. A lot lizard. I didn't do that. I mean, it's fine. Yeah, Smash GG. That was your title. Whatever you gotta do for money. I'm the Smash GG lot lizard. Yeah, they'd send me around. They'd send me to, like, Microsoft and be like,

Hey, so you wanna run that Madden tournament now? Pop quiz. Yeah. Okay, quiz pro quo. Cannibal Lecter is in jail. Yeah. Like, he's in the movie. In the movie. In the movie, he's in jail. Yeah. Like he's in the movie. In the movie.

In the movie he's in jail. Yeah. Because of all the people he ate. Yeah. Imagine that he didn't eat people, but instead he ate Hello Fresh. Yeah. Which is just... Which has like normal food in it.

Silence of the Lambs is so much less compelling. Silence of the Lambs when he's like, skip the grocery stores. It's time for HelloFresh. And then Jodie Foster is like, well, wait, Hannibal, Dr. Lecter, Dr. Lecter, are the ingredients far and fresh and pre-portioned? And he's like, yes, Clarice,

March is National Nutrition Month. And they have diet-friendly meal options, not like what I eat, because I eat human brains and poop. But instead, he'd be like, yes, Clarice, it's easy. Hey, Quiz pro quiz. Shut the fuck up.

I'm cooking. Quiz pro. You be Jodie Foster. Quiz pro quote, Clarice. Do you like soy glazed salmon with rice? Soy being. Do you like mushroom and chive risotto? I didn't come here to ask. That's good. Would you like mushroom and chive risotto?

I didn't come here to ask. That's good. I didn't think you had a good Jodie Foster. Do you like protein smart meals, Clarice? One pot pork and black bean chili with some chianti. Creamy Dijon dill chicken, perhaps. Mr. Lecter, I'd really appreciate it if... Why don't you go to HelloFresh.com slash TheYard60, Clarice? It's a podcast of four guys with no life skills.

We don't have the internet yet, Mr. Lecter. Oh, yes, we do. We have AOL.com. It's dial-up, Clarice. And I can look at porn and boobs. You can look at all kinds of things. You want pre-made meals

from myself. That are pre-portioned and easy, planned for you. It'll be crazy. There'll be a thing called Twitter one day. You can go to hellofresh.com slash theyard60. Because it's America's number one meal kit, Clarice. They're 60% off. Dr. Lecter, you tell me that the cat can has cheeseburger?

Let me tell me. Dr. Lecter, I just need to, I'm trying me Dr. Lecter I just need to I'm trying to understand So it's gonna be like Two girls And one cup Just

Just go to the fucking She eats the poop Just go to Hellofresh.com Slash the yard 60 That's right 60% off And free shipping

And And maybe And hey If you have some time Maybe go watch Silence of the Lambs it's a classic and if you don't our audience probably hasn't seen the movie which is fine

but it's at the time here's the thing when the 90s were around and Silence of the Lambs was around everyone was quoting that shit it was like people spoofed it all the time it was crazy I'm 32 years old America's number one meal kit.

HelloFresh.com slash CR60. We're going to get back to the episode, but make sure you fucking buy HelloFresh. You know what I'm saying? Can we get back to the episode? So that's the saga. How we got Lumpin Unger's car bad. Yeah, it's like Mad Yeah It's like unreal

It's very Movie like Yeah it was crazy This is the most Excited I have ever been For informational Updates and posts Fucking Aiden

We dude I post In the group chat Of just us and Zipper I post the video Of us opening the door And it's like Everyone's like

Oh my god And then Aiden calls me He's like bro What happened He wants me to Tell him the story So I tell him the story And like the whole The whole saga the door and it's like everyone's like oh my god and then aiden calls me he's like bro what happened he wants me to like tell him the story and so i tell him the story and like the whole the whole saga and then he pauses and he's like you guys didn't like throw an air tag in the back and i'm like shut the fuck up but also i was like we should have thrown an air tag imagine how baller we just toss one in the bag sticks on the

side i was like after all the talk of air tags from yingling and stuff i was like nobody came with like a tile or something because and it's like you guys like you almost just expected to not see it so hard that you didn't come prepared yeah pretty much he's he was explaining anthony was explaining like how the blood buds rolled up it's the whole story right and i'm like i'm like doing the math in my head i'm like so you're telling me there was there's one guy in the car and six of you surrounding it and not one of you thinks to throw a tag in the fucking back of course of course it's different when you're actually there, but I was just thinking, what if you just slash the tires?

Like an emergency? Yeah, everyone on Twitter was like, I thought some Grand Theft Auto shit. Yeah, no one would have done anything. Bro, you gotta pull out the M4 and shoot the tires. I think the AirTag thing is literally the only reasonable thing you can do considering the guy was in it.

He's like prepared, but it's tight. I love the idea of like tracking down the car you can also get ultra unlucky this guy can have an iphone this guy has an iphone you can't track it right you can still track it'll say like the air tags follow you still tracks i think you can just disable it really i don't think you need to find it what if i'm just following someone at an airport coincidentally yeah like baby no money yeah and like i fly to their destination. It has to be for a while.

It doesn't pop up for like a couple hours or something, I think. Because we had that. I kept getting the notice in Japan when we were walking around together, but it would only come up after. I think it has to be like a long trend. Yeah. That'd be so money, though. We like track him, and like 20 minutes later,

he thinks he's like gotten away with it, and we just come back. You know you play the sound. Beep, beep, beep, beep. And like 20 minutes later, he thinks he's like gotten away with it. And we just come back. You know you play the sound. Beep, beep, beep, beep. And then Mike comes from one street corner. Like fucking Marlo Stanfield. And fucking me and Yingling run down the other one. And we just pinch him.

And then we just go, come on, bro. I just want to know if it's the same guy who stole it. Or if it really is someone who bought it. Who just knows where it was stolen from. Because we don't really know that 100% for sure so I also wanted to know the answer to this question and we can answer it yeah we can ask our wit we can show our witness the video and see if it's the same guy let's do that like completes the story of like do we know if he stole cuz he it is really funny if this guy bought a stolen car and they got a toad In that case like yeah, let's go let's kick him some fucking bread like fuck it, bro

Well, he didn't he didn't buy it right well. We got it from like no the issue Is that in the video he specifies knowing where it was stolen from yeah, so it's like he knew he was certainly lying Yeah, yeah, but I'd do it to me that guy's the same. Yeah, you're not. Dude, imagine someone opening your door like you stole a car. You're like, it's my car. And they're like, no, it's not. And it's like, well, I want $10,000. Dude.

Have you ever dreamed this, man? Wait, yeah. Imagine like the next step was putting the guy's face on a shirt and then selling a bunch of merch like a drop. Dude, that is cursed. I make money off of his failed car theft Yeah, absolutely the video uh yeah, you know I'm saying yeah Directly off his likeness that's tight. That's so it's his face and then like Grand Theft Auto like triple star Teftado like triple star

What if we make that sure but it's a man's face instead and it's kind of like in the end we Stealing the car and it says this is a car theft thief if you see him yeah, and also a sexual predator This is a lot lizard Back it has the menu. Dude, putting a picture of this guy all over the city. It says sexual predator beware. Oh my god. New power. We have power we can't use.

Yeah, we've discovered we have power. That's the saga. Alright, why you got hives? Hive boy. That guy cursed me. Are you a little hive boy, bro? You got it after? Hive boy? That guy cursed me You got it after? The night of I came home And I got cursed

I'll send you a picture I got hives all over myself I thought that's what killed people In the 1400s It's like really itchy Are you thinking of smallpox? I think I'm thinking of some disease It's an allergic reaction on your skin. It usually has to do with like the hives wiped out our village

You know people say like Like what happened to the Pharaoh when God got mad at the black death Ludwig? Locusts and I think it was high over locust hives or hives of locusts That's the one Yeah, you posted zipper. Do they not call the black death hives? It might have It was really something it was even worse and I showed a saw when it was like the worst yeah on the advice show We're if we're in the looks like Florida

Aiden saw it when it was like the worst on the advice show. It looks like Florida. Wow. Why do all of our rashes look like states? I know. There's also all my arms. Wait, do you put deodorant on your chest? No.

Why would you? Dude, I was trying to figure it out. Some people do it. What? Because your sweat gets all chesty? Like the spray version, presumably, right? No, I guess dick like you do like a fucking Sometimes I'm really fucking musty. I go a little neck. What? Crazy shit do a little downstairs. What are you doing? Really?

With Dio, you gotta hit the pack-a-punch machine and then you go under yeah Yeah, and so then you put it back in your armpit? No! Like you're shaving your neck? So it's your gooch with deodorant? It's just your shaft, not your gooch. It's just like my top of my pubis. All I'm hearing is that like, yeah, I take my deodorant stick, then I put it on my balls a lot, then I put it on my armpits, then I put it on my chest, then I put it on my neck, then I lick a little off the top because it's really yummy. Well, I do it the other order. I don't want to lick the balls.

You know the pubis isn't the same as the balls. You just tell me all that. And he had chewing gum on his pubis. I just take a bite. Have you guys heard of cologne? That's where they play the Counter-Strike tournaments? Yeah.

Yeah. Simple. It's like 1400 for a case from the 2018 Boston. Why don't you just, why don't you, why don't you freaking use cologne?

For my balls. For your balls and your chest. Yeah. And Dio for the pits. Because you know what? We're simple men. This is a fucking manscaped ad, bros.

Let's get out of here. Anyway. Yeah, and get the lawnmower. They make the bald deodorant. What do hives do? Hives, it was just really itchy. I went to the doctor because they got really bad. And he's like, he said it very sensually to me.

He's like, I don't think it's anything. It's something that passed through your lips. And I was like, I need to check if it's coming through your lips. You need to press your lips onto my lips. I need to see if my lips can give you, can make you itchy now. Wait, it passed through your lips? It basically means something I ate or something medication, but I haven't changed medications. That's a weird way to say it. So I'm trying to figure out.

I know it was really funny. Wait, how does he know that?. That's a weird way to say it. So I'm trying to figure out. I know it was really funny. How does he know that? Because it's symmetrical and the nature of it. He's like, this is it looks like something you like ate. Doctors know shit. And yeah, that's why I don't believe him. Yeah. He also said the vaccine was good.

So who knows? One for two. Yeah. Some new viewers. We are vaccinated. We are. Don't believe it, though. We are liberal. Booster check. So. viewers, we are vaccinated. Don't believe in it though. We are liberal cucks. Booster check.

Booster check. So yeah, basically I got it checked and I have to figure out what I'm allergic to. Also I think it's this pescatarian shit that's been fucking me. What? Because I've been eating a lot of different food to avoid meat. Do we have a bet? Okay. I know that, I'm in the bet.

I'm just shocked you're blaming being pescatarian and not whatever filth you consume. I eat good. I guess it makes sense if you're just eating different all of a sudden for that, that you would try something. Well, let's do a quick update in the pescatarian bet. Nick is out. I'm out. Yeah.

Nick is out. He stress ate four pounds of ground beef. No, no. Should we have to disclose what we ate? Sure. Okay. So I had a bagel sandwich that had bacon on it. No, no. Should we full-crust raw ground beef? Should we have to disclose what we ate? Sure. Okay, so I had a bagel sandwich that had bacon on it.

That was it? That's what you blew it on? That is not worth it, bro. I told the story. You already told the story. Yikes! P-E-U. Oof.

I need to confer with the council. Yeah. Because I might have cheated. Let's talk about it. Is it cat food? Are we talking cat food? It's all a fake competition anyways with the way yeah cause I might have cheated let's talk about it is it cat food? it's all are we talking cat food?

it's all a fake competition anyways with the way you guys are playing hey hey sorry this just for the people yeah I know only the guys just for the guild members just for the guild members

I know I know trust me when you're outside of the guild you're not a guild member you can't drink the ale I'm just gonna play with my pussy over here you guys do your thing playing with my pussy

don't play with your pussy right pussy I ate cat food Yeah Cute ass little pussy Here I thought about this and I think it Does not count because you Presumably did not want to do that And it was for content purposes I wouldn't have eaten it without

The video You don't look at Durs and think I should look kinda good I do I've eaten it before Sometimes I used to look At Durrs and I would be like I think he'd taste good He's been eating those fucking

We're talking about You're talking about eating Durrs Yeah, his food I know you're memeing because he actually Looks really inedible There's so much hair and it's so matted. That's why you skin and- Okay.

I would love to give you just an animal to skin and just see what you can do. That's a true gay. The yard is butches. The yard becomes butches. The yard skins. That can be our trash day special. That can be our trash taste special We all have the same cadence of the biking of the biking special that trash taste does except It's us like fucking at a meatpacking facility

Each raise a cow from the Pig I don't like this. This is uh, it's not good. It's a lie. This is Delilah. Uh, I'm gonna, so in about 24 hours she's gonna be completely gut. Uh. And I'm gonna miss her. This is hard for me.

So I didn't cheat. Yeah, you ate cat food and what else? That's it. Buggies? Bugs, I don't think count. I think bugs are lower than fish. Why, because they're ugly? Well, because we're eating fish. Bugs?

Are fish the bugs of the ocean? That's a good question. Because people don't eat enough bugs in the West. In general, bugs are a good source of nutrition that is underappreciated. But I feel like they're not a part of this conversation normally. All the bugs I've tried have been pretty good. Is there a diet that's like,

because there's levels, there's like omnivore, then there's pescatarian, which is just fish. Is there like a just insect? And then vegetarian? Insectitarian. I guess that's, is that a herbivore? Does eating... Ooh, entotarian. Wow.

So I will say monkeys mostly are vegetarians, except bugs. Entotarians. Yeah. Oh. Like gibbons and stuff. Same from consumption of animal flesh, with the exception of insects and arachnids. I wouldn't fuck with eating an arachnid. So cute. Bugs, and they weren't just all over it. Does that mean. I wouldn't fuck with eating an arachnid. So cute.

They weren't just all over it. Does that mean? I don't think so. Does that mean you can't eat like centipedes? It's like, oh, you ate a centipede, bro. Do you think Dawson would eat a spider? You're asking if our vegan friend would eat a spider? No, he's vegan.

That's the whole point. I think it's a living thing. Do you think vegans kind of break? Because some vegans break for oysters. Because oysters have no pain sense. Literally at all. They cannot feel pain. They draw the line where they feel comfortable.

Do you think vegans should be allowed to eat fungi? Do you think vegans should be allowed to live? Do you think that if it was you and me? No. You said you wouldn't bring it up. The lines are off. You said you wouldn't bring it up. Do you think that's...

Honestly, you're a little drunk. We had a great night. We got back from... Are you also a little drunk? No. Okay. Okay, no, go on. Go ahead.

And you're looking at me and you're like, you know what? You look good. You're making this problematic. I'm not making it problematic. So Ludwig is drunk and you're sober. I want to fuck him. Right?

Yeah, and he's drunk. You saved! You actually understand. I get it. Oh, no. Okay, where do you two stand with the bet right now? How are you holding up? I think it's pretty easy, all things considered,

and I've been a little more turned off by some foods. Like, I drove by a Cane's and I was like, ugh. Really? I miss chicken. It's so greasy. I miss chicken really bad. Yeah, but like fried greasier foods are less appealing to me. Yeah, I, well,

no, I still order fried calamari. I had some fried fish and I thought it was fucking gross. Interesting. I, I'm out. You want a crack? You're out? What? I do like how you saved it for the pod, you content pilled son of a bitch. So I tried to get you to cheat, Day Dot.

I gave you a chicken taco. Yeah. That you looked at succulently and you licked. I didn't lick it. You licked his taco? You tried to trick me. You told me it didn't have meat in it. No, that plays.

And then I literally picked it up to bite into it. And I was like, wait, that's chicken. Hey, nobody said we're not allowed to trick each other. I'm just saying you tried to trick me. I'm a little tricky minx. You tried to trick me. Hey, zipper, I'm going to send you something. Can you pull it up?

It's going to be me talking shit. It's going to be me talking shit. I did say this was going to be easy, but then I went to Utah. And Utah... Oh, you went on a skiing trip, right? Utah ski towns do not have a lot of great vegan and vegetarian options. You're telling me that Salt Lake don't got fish in it? No, I had...

I actually followed through with the bet, I think, most of the weekend anyway. But I caved, like, right at the beginning. What was it? It was pepperoni pizza. Really? You could have just picked. Really? You could have just picked them off. You could have just picked them off. Everybody, everybody

quiet down. I have information. I have important information that Slime does not know about. Whoa. Dipper, bring up Exhibit A. Oh no. What is it? Bring up Exhibit A. I'm nervous for you. What possibly could you have brought? Everybody look at the screen.

He did lick the taco. I got a photo of it. Whoa! That's him licking the taco grease off his fingers, and that's why I went to chat and said, Hey, what if I ate grease? Would that be weird? I remember when you started talking about that.

This is him licking the grease on Day Dot. That was funny. Dude. And he said, I didn't lick it. So lying. You lying? Talking about that. This is him licking the grease on date dot. That was funny He said I didn't lick it so lying you Before me I didn't before God You look like a lot lizard with how deep that is in your throat the group chat right now What's funny is is Nikos the group? He's like is it okay to eat grease and then Aiden's like I think it's fine I think it's actually totally fine I actually like drink grease

Honestly, I straight up did not think about this at all. It's just sauce from the taco I licked it cuz it got on my finger. What do you think that sauce is from? I'm not gonna wipe it on my pants. Dead chicken. Probably the salsa in the taco. Where's the salsa from? Chicken salsa. What? Chicken salsa. What? Chicken salsa. You don't understand how it's made. I don't think that homestay tacos have sauce.

They have grease in them. You don't think they have sauce in them? They don't. They just have... They don't? They come with hot sauce, but you have to put it on. Zipper, I know we're giving you a workout. I brought up the group chat, and we can talk about...

We can talk about the grease. Either way, he's eliminated, so this doesn't, like, this is less of a gotcha. I do think it's a good examination of his character. I've been sitting on this for weeks because I wanted him to win. Oh, that would have been insane. I was literally going to show up for the episode. You wanted an asterisk on his W. I was going to show up for the show in a suit.

And I was going to deliver the news. I wish you made it. I literally did not deliver the news. I wish you made it. I literally did not think about this. Bring up the group chat when you can. We also said grease. We all did say grease was fun. So this is Nick asking, can I ask a real question? My girlfriend and I made some burgers

and I was grabbing one for her and got grease from the beef on my head. Yeah, this didn't happen. My instinct was to lick it off, but I didn't. If I had, would that count as a loss? We immediately answered, I think you can lick

grease, that's fine. I knew the context of why he asked, so I said, I don't know if I agree. Everyone's got different interests. I said, it's only because it's an accident. This is so fucked. Ludwig says, this is so fucked. This is so fucked.

Ludwig says, every bit of this is an entrapment. You gave me a taco before you handed it to me. Before you handed it to me. I ask if it has been eaten. You say no. You give it to me. I open it.

I open it, try to take a bite, accidentally get it on my finger that I can't trust them. I open it try to take a bite accidentally get it on my finger TACO TO SALSA! No, you have to put the salsa on for this. Dude, Loving, he gets the- he goes, hey, do you want this taco? And I immediately, my brain goes- And then he's like, yeah, yeah, I'll take it. He's like, what's in it? And Loving's like, oh, it's just, uh, bean and cheese. And he looks at me like this, he goes- That's so funny.

In my head, I'm like, I'm so happy I didn't win. And I lost honestly, it would have been insane. And I lost honestly. We could get a job at the LAPD with you, Love Alworth. So, QT, he loads his QT Cookstates. I made up 16. Oh, you made this up too? QT Cookstates are crazy! QT Cookstates, I almost licked it for the meme, but I figured

that's cheating. I'm like, if you're going around I'm like thinking, I'm like, yeah, me too! I'm with you! But I'm like a patrician, like, signing off. In my head, I was laughing so hard at like, why do they think we're both in a grease situation? When- does this happen to people? I just like talking about rules.

I get shit- I spill coffee on myself twice just drinking this! I fucking get grease on myself! Me and Aiden are starting to talk about the rules, but the difference is he rigs the bracket, and I'm trying to figure out the best way. So I literally stayed at the studio on my laptop working for like a half an hour just waiting for him to open the taco. I literally stayed here with a video on just

waiting to see if he would eat the taco. Otherwise we'd have no evidence. By the way, we came to the conclusion of the group chat that grease was not okay if intentional, but okay if unintentional. So I would argue you intentionally licked off the grease. I didn't even think it was grease. What did you think it was?

You don't need the grease in there. It's a taco! Salsa! Sauce! What every taco has meat! I said, yeah, Aiden was like, it's grease though, it's not meat. I said grease is natural. Aiden says, how often do you get to lick the grease?

And then I said, but you can't seek grease. That's why I thought this question was weird. And then Aiden said, okay, that's fair. And I said, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. grease. That's why I thought this question was weird. And then Aiden said,

okay, that's fair, and I said, case closed. And if it wasn't for our autistic sidekick, he might have gotten away with it. I love rules and data. And Connor's like, do you think grease is natural? And I'm like, yes, it's from the earth.

Such a bad argument for natural. I was joking around. I'm so happy I didn't win. What a beautiful day. I'm so happy. I can't believe you cracked on pepperoni, though. It's just because we got to Utah so late that night. Everything is closed.

There was one type of food at home, like at the place we were staying, and it was pizza. Frozen pizza? I hadn't eaten microwavable pizza, and it was pizza. Frozen pizza? I hadn't eaten, yeah, like microwavable pizza, and it's pepperoni pizza, and I'm so fucking hungry, and I'm so just tired,

and I'm like, I don't fucking care anymore. I'm fucking, I'm just gonna eat this pizza. You could have just picked it off, right? Picked up a grease slurpee from them. Yeah, but I said, I didn't care anymore. I was just like,

But that's so interesting, because it's like, and I'm not dumping on you, but it's like, as mad at you as you are, you can like one two three four and then it's gone and then you're still in yeah you can still be pissy i think the residual what i realized was more in my head when we made the bet i i was thinking a lot about like like the bigger like you know when you get a roast chicken or like a steak or like something like that i kind

of forgot about like all the small things that me is just yeah you do forget and because i eat i eat a lot of fish already so i knew that like four you know like four nights a week like i'm probably already gonna be fine but now those other like three or like small lunches like just random it was just so inconvenient and annoying and my annoyance like mounted in this moment because i was so fucking hungry and i'm like i'm over this wow and it was so dumb too because i ate it and i was like damn i'm out of the bet now and then the next night i ordered fish again so yeah do i during this bet i just there's this vegan place i found i just started going there because it just tasted like regular food and it

was good and i just have just been eating there now anyways I just eat vegan food. Awesome. I'm just fucking cream in his jeans right now I do kind of just feel like I just have felt kind of better which has been kind of cool I actually have two it's actually My schedule's been better I've just been feeling I don't know besides my glowing wound You got hives. Honestly, besides the hives, besides the hives, I've just been, my schedule's been better. I've just been feeling,

I don't know. Besides my glowing wound. And it's going away. I'm glad it is. How long do you think you're going to keep going? As long as you do, pussy boy. I don't think you last

as long as me. That's crazy. We'll be old ass men. Well, the thing is, you're going to die well before me. Do I win if I die wait hold on

what have you done about factor meals that's the one thing that's been a bit annoying but we just stopped you can like just cancel it it's also annoying

because you have a girlfriend that can just cook for you because she likes cooking and she makes delicious food all the time and she's just like she'll like make food and bring it to you

because she loves you very much I was gonna say that's his clutch factor this hasn't happened you're making cutie cook right now? You're making Cutie... She's at the grindstone.

I'm telling you this. You're not letting me speak. This hasn't happened. The love of her life is not like a prick. She said a thing that hasn't happened. You are awful because you force her to cook for you with everything else that's going on. She's not cooking.

Streamer Awards is a big project. I get that. Streamer Awards... She's not cooking, to be clear. Swift is in bad shape. Swift is in bad shape. She is in bad shape. I'm going to go after this to bring him to the vet, but to be clear, she's not cooking. Nothing's wrong.

She's not cooking. I just make it her cooking. So sad. I get through it pretty. The Swift thing is so sad. Dude, I was talking to Cutie about it, and she was just explaining to me how it went down, and I'm like, dude, this is so awful. That buddy. Just tried. He just tried to jump up on the bed like he does every day We've known so for a while, too

Let's bring swivel cake Yeah, he's uh he's he's doing a little better today. He's got an appointment See I was doing if you didn't hear he fell off the bed, and then he had a spinal injury. So his legs still work, but his back legs are wonky. He's moving a little more now, though, right? Yeah. It's like he's on the back legs, he's playing with inverted controls, and on the front legs is normal controls.

So sometimes he just falls while walking. So he's not supposed to walk too much. And then today he's going to a neurologist. A doggy man. A dog neurologist. I hope he's not supposed to walk too much, and then today he's going to like a neurologist. A doggy man. A dog neurologist. I hope he's okay, man. Yeah, man. He should be good, I believe.

What do you got cooking downstairs lately? What's inside door number one? Take off your pants. Let's see what's going on here. You want to know what's under here? I want to see what... You want to know what's under here? Are you...

No. No, it's only me here. You wanna know what's under here? I wanna see what... You wanna know what's under here? Are you... No. No, it's only me here. Me, uh... Dude, for real? The little martinis? That's cute. What's up, guys? Yeah, it's an ad, and our boy has taken off his pants.

This is what the timestamp sent you to. It's an ad, and also a guy's butt. So, this is a MeUndies ad. Are you sick of your old scratchy underwear? Because he doesn't itch ever. Have you ever itched ever in your life? That's right. Sit back down.

Sit back down, sexy boy. Nasty little sexy boy. That wasn't even planned. Yeah. So, that's how often I actually wear the quality soft soft, soft. What are you doing? Can you not read?

Treat yourself to quality and convenience. Get comfy. Get MeUndies. So it's online. It's on Amazon. Also at Nordstrom's, which is kind of crazy. You get monthly shipments right to your door. Also, this underwear, no poop.

There's no poop in it. They give you an option. There's an option on the website to get either undies, socks, or bralettes with or without poop. And the bralettes look like... The bralettes look like... Did you get the poop one or not? The poop bralette? Yeah.

That's weird. I didn't get that one. You didn't get that one, but you respect people who do that. Yeah, yeah. Because I just don't. I've got small, you know, what am I going to do with that? Yeah. What am I going to do with that?

But the poop can come from also a guy. So you can choose on the website. You can choose the guy. You can actually choose from the four of us if you use our code. You can use our code and you get authentic yard guy poop. You can get 25% off your first. And you heard Ludwig earlier. His are huge now.

Yeah. Oh, his dumps. Also, they smell like tires. He's been clogging again. Yeah, he's been clogging and it smells like tires. So it smells like it smells like a new bike. If you want that fresh bike smell and 25% off your first purchase and free shipping. 25% off your first purchase, plus free shipping, plus free poop.

You can go to MeUndies.com slash the yard. That's right. MeUndies.com slash the yard. And you select the guy on the website. And if you get Nick, that's a rare. That's nick that's it that's a rare that's a rare hollow rare because he doesn't poop that much it's kind of like it's kind of like it's kind of like a blue titan hollow 2014 it's kind of like it's it's just like it's crazy that's what the copy says on the website as well so me undies.com slash the yard for underwear that sponsors this podcast.

To this day, they see these and they're like, yep, we like that. You saw me wearing them. Okay, all right, all right. Just go check it out. Just get back to the episode. Well, either way, I think I will win the bet because I am fueled I need something on you. You've won everything in life, Ludwig.

Me and you, if we're competing, you've taken everything. What have I taken from you? Give me the list. It all. You took being a content creator away from slime. Not only that. I want to be a content creator now. That was true. You don't. Did you hear about this that was true you don't did you hear

about this yeah you haven't listened to our episode yet what no i talked about this did you watch the did you watch the episode without you oh it was slime talked about i clicked on the episode i watched the first minute and then the comments are like they say but the episode's way better without ludwig and then and then i escape it and i go to my work slack and I'm like let me get some work done and then Anna pops in Anna pops in and she's like, episodes may be better without Ludd. Just kidding. I was like, dude, fuck. More hurtful if it's in slack. Yeah.

More hurtful if it's in slack. That was fucked up. I can let it slide when it's on the goddamn comments, but on Slack I can't escape it. He's like a pair of three birds. Like, you've seen threes. There's another bird that's dead on the ground. The episode last week, it was so much fun, but it made me miss you.

I miss you, too. I missed you before the episode. I was watching our new stream. I missed him. We miss you, man. We like you, man. To catch you up, the whole Primo episode, or like half of it, is Slime brings up that he wants to become a content creator for real.

And we talk about that for maybe like 30 or 40 minutes. And you actually do. It wasn't a meme? Not a meme. I woke up and I said, I think I want to do this. We're still in the waiting period of, is it a Slime thing or not? We're still there. I feel like you'll hate it.

Why? Because you get so mad but what if i'm what if i make myself not mad what does that mean i i train myself like you genius ludwin anders to stop nodding your head you piece of shit i'm shaking because he didn't have to train himself he just is this way no no he made himself through this through sheer will for he just started earlier he did not start where you're starting at and then end where he's at. He started from a very different position as you. You're a hater, natural born. Yeah, I am truly-

Ludd is not a hater! Think about all the way back. When you would say anything negative about anyone, Ludd would never just dogpile. He would be like, I don't know, they're fine. He's been this way since Day Dot. This is important. We've been sitting on this for over over a week Here we go. Does he get the toupee? We need to bring hey your court is in session. He's obviously broken it. Yeah You don't get a defense attorney! I want representation! You don't get a defense attorney, you can defend yourself.

Do you not remember the bet? Do you not remember what the terms were? What was the original bet? The original bet was we have to all three agree that he has been a hater and that is the qualification. Yes, so we defined the judge as us three. And then why are you calling Yango? He's your defense attorney? I need somebody. He can say anything, it's your defense attorney? I need somebody. You can say anything. It's not even part of the vet terms.

If I don't have representation, this is not a fucking functional society, you idiot. Yeah, you're right. It's not a functional society. Shut the fuck up. I'm calling my lawyer. Shut the fuck up. I'm calling my lawyer. Your lawyer's not even answering you. It is actually still so early in the morning. Dude, it's not even... Is it even 10?

It's 10.15. It's not early. 10.15 is not early. It's not that early anymore. It's early for Yingo. My lawyer. I think he works out. He does, he does. He wakes up early. He goes in personal trains now. Look, shut up. You don't even know what your lawyer does. You're not calling somebody else. We need to, first of all, before you call someone, we have to figure out what the case is

even about. What are the plaintiffs arguing? There's just so many. I feel like there's so many bullets? Yeah Until 4 p.m.. Yeah, yeah, it's not up. It is crazy called yam. Yeah, went to bed an hour your representation sucks You gotta find somebody else brother This is actually more sad Without representation I need representation You would be funny if you called our actual lawyer right now your representation will be zipper calling a dance dad

He's here he's gonna be here in like an hour and a half How are you gonna to explain to Corwin? Corwin. Dude, it'd be so funny if Corwin doesn't pick up. This is my last line of defense. You got zero. I have to represent myself if he doesn't pick up. I actually feel bad.

I wanted to pick up for you. This is sad. This is really sad. Hey, if you call me, I'll pick up, bro. My dad's your third in line? Yeah. Hello? Hello, he's reaching for you.

Oh! Oh, he talked to the voicemail. Oh, it's so good. He's like, hello, Corbin. He's like, I just got your voicemail. And you might want to play right now. Flying across the world, bitch. Dude, oh my god.

I'm going to text him. Aiden is in the hospital. Please call me right now. Dude, how do you get a good toupee made? Do you get a doctor? Can I? Yeah, there's a specialist. May I offer a...

Sure. You do not have to defend yourself. No, no, I don't want to defend myself. I'm offering a plea. A plea deal. You're going for a plea bargain? I'd like to plea insanity. Rap Stitch is telling us.

What is your offer for the plea bargain? My offer? Because I don't want to get a toupee for a month. I think that's annoying. Why did you sign up for the bet then? Why did you sign up if you didn't want to do it? Should you not have just signed up for it? I didn't want to lose the bet.

I just wanted you guys to lose the bet. It's true. Isn't that most bets? In Blackjack, I don't want the dealer to fucking win. I'm actually not going to give you the money. You can do that once. They kick you out, but you can do it once. What?

Did you guys know that? Not after that's huge. No way. I don't think you could. You can do it once. I'm going to try to walk out of this casino. Listen to me. Okay.

I, what if I unblock everyone on Twitter and then I try again? No. No. I'll give you a different plea. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Tell us the plea when we have to confer. Okay, I'll tell you guys He does not wear to pay for a month. He wears a toupee on the podcast for a month So he looks funny on our show for a month and we can always make fun of that But he doesn't have to wear it to like the store. I would add that it can't just be the podcast

It has to be any public appearance so not like going out to see if he goes to streams if he streams goes on fear and if he goes exactly yeah if he's at the streamer awards but not in your regular life if you are making content of any kind you're going to pay for a month what if it part of me is just like fuck it then because like i'll just get the permanent one and then i don't have to put it on and off yeah that probably is better it probably looks better too like this doesn't help me i just either want to do it or i don't this is what i'll say in your world in the world of the original but this is what i think you guys tell me what you think in the world of the original bet you get to pick your toupee in our world we get to pick your toupee so you either don't have to

wear it in public but we pick what your hair looks like or you have to wear it for a month straight everywhere and you get to pick what it looks like i'll do that which one the second one here's the question i have he sounds so distraught uh what i really thought you guys go for the unblock thing no it takes forever no i think it's better that you have those people yeah i Yeah, I don't like that. No, but if I want to be a content creator, then I have to accept all evil. That's not what you have to do. All evil. Maybe the hair will get you there. I think you have a misunderstanding that you have to accept all evil, but it's more like

it takes a lot of effort to hate. It is a high effort activity. It's an active thing. And letting go of it is is just better for you despite being i will say despite being um failing i have gotten better at like not responding a lot more or like letting like when i get pissy if i see something that is mean to me or whatever or being a true hater is something that doesn't affect you at all and getting mad about it i have a good idea your first stream as a content creator It's picking your toupee. Ooh

IRL stream yes getting your to pay on yeah, so here's the Original bet was you cannot hate was it for the whole six months? I think six months and if you do Couple weeks what is the specific claim where we saw him hating? There are a few. There are a few. I don't remember, though. I have to go look at it. What was the crack?

It was Last of Us, right? Was the Mike Hayes one hating? No, no, no. That was after or before? Last of Us was before. Someone posted on the Reddit, like, is this hating? And it was clearly hating. Can we pull it up, Zipper?

Because I'm curious. I just want to see the offending material. I'll tell you sometimes. There's nothing to pull up. It's just clear. Sometimes I feel like cracking. No. I got an email from a guy that was just really mean.

Really? Yeah, I tried out this content idea yesterday, and it was like a little bit janky. It was this thing called I Made It Up, AI Made It Up. And I just had four people on a call. They would make up a historical story, then they would look at one up on Wikipedia and the made up one would be done with AI. And then you'd tell both stories and then you, the other people would try to guess which one's real,

which one's fake. And I was like, I'm just, I thought it'd be kind of fun. I like that. But it turned out it was actually pretty fun to tell the stories, but doing the research was like kind of a chore. It was like a bit of homework.

This guy sends me the email and he's like, great fucking idea, but it was not funny at all. You should have learned from this British game show what I lie to you or just ask Stans if you can't do that and that you should just tell

an anecdotal story because you took all the fun out of it. It was like four paragraphs of this. What? And I'm like, I feel like I just took a shot at an idea. I can always improve it. You're just stealing a show,

which is fine, but I don't feel like this is a lot of innovation here. He sent you an email? He sent me an email, strongly worded, four worded four paragraph email and i was gonna reply that's advanced and then and then i was you know i was like you know what the root of what he's saying is true it would be better if it's a story and that's a tried and true method and i can just take that and he can be hateful and hurtful and how he presents it but at the end of the day i don't need to respond there's something minorly respectful about him doing it in like a private forum like doing it

directly to you rather than like a youtube comment where it's like could also be seen as for attention no i think i think that when you say send something like that and it's mean you're trying to directly cut them yeah that is still shitty i just think that like people who like critique post with like no like with just pure hatred on like comments i'm like what part of your brain i don't mind the criticism it's more just like what you're saying but i think the the negative person in me says that they just think that it's more likely they would see the hurtful material do you don't think it changes anything that they had something of value to actually say in there i think all things are

of something of value in a way so i need to contextualize it in in a like in a nice and constructive way if you're going to do it either way can i ask you as as someone who didn't crack right what's your process for not doing that like how long did it take you to read that get annoyed and then not reply i read it i got annoyed i wrote one sentence and then i thought what is the outcome of me sending this email i do that all the time wow what actually happens i feel better sometimes like you do this is why i crack like you do because it feels it feels good to win it feels good it feels good to back them into a corner and be like here's here's

the thought process here's why it is the way it is. Why don't you explain to me, in eloquent terms, why you think your way, and they can never do it, because they're fucking dumb. Yes, sir. That's my gum. That's my fucking gum. You've become more of a hater. No, they are fucking dumb as bricks.

They are all of the people that drop dumbass comments and critique, oh, it makes me so angry. If you can explain your position in a nice way and actually cite an explanation for why you think the way you do, then I actually like reading your criticism. Because then it makes fucking sense. No, he's right. That's my goat. Still a debate guy.

No, because that would make me a debate guy. I'm clearly not. A debate guy my goat. Still a debate guy. No, because that would make me a debate guy. A debate guy. I'm clearly not. You are a debate guy? Yeah. I fear debate guys. I think you're not a debate bro, but you're a debate guy. No, not even close.

I feel like I exited a movie theater with a debate. Debate guys? Oh, you're talking about fucking Uncut Gems? Yeah. That was the dumbest shit you ever said in your life. Sorry, I'm not thinking of that one as some debate. Anytime we exit a movie, by the way, there's a debate. Oh, you're talking about Spider-Man?

Yeah. That was Aiden being dumb. See, I'm not a debate guy because I lean clearly so much on emotion, and it's bad. You're a bad debate guy. And I will be worse. Bad debate guy. That's fine. Bad debate guy.

I'll be a bad debate guy. That's funny. What guy am I? That's a great question so that was our concept last week yeah we did two and a half hour podcast yeah we cut it down about a half hour when we ranked every guy in the world there was some stuff we cut that i i i know i got cut but i thought it was so funny the rave glover stuff got cut, and I was like, damn. That's some lost gems right there.

So we ranked every guy, and we talked about you a bit and how much we love you. What are you doing there with your lips? I had cheese coffee. It was a little bitter. Yeah, it's got no sugar in it. You little fat little bullet. It's got a little bit of sugar in it. I'm actually losing weight.

I'm 184. Wow. That's so far from a stinky two. We're converging. You were more jolly.. I'm at 168 When you were I was at 163 um when I was fat when you were to your board jolly. Yeah, you were like Santa Complaining I was like you bigger beard Give me president I was shake just me and him For the first time

And we went Like he was at the gym And I was climbing But they're the same place And we were hanging out We were sitting down We were chatting the shit And he's like

We start talking about Like ideas For your YouTube channel And he's like You be doing one I'm doing one And after a couple I'm like

What are we doing man Like we're fucking off work What are we doing Why are we talking about Why are we talking about work man we always I think constantly about we got some good ideas

Robin Anders I started to in our meetings meetings with the editors Jake and Polite and I was like come with some ideas for the YouTube channel

like it doesn't have to be fully fleshed and the first time they came around they were so nervous they were like I was thinking like maybe that's probably what he

brought up to me then cause he brought up first yeah I think think it was him we had a good one it was like you because we were we were thinking specifically within the confines of ai and that's what he said to you because he got a call he's like something with ai like could be good i was like it's great we rent out a space in la and we make a bunch of ai art and put it on the wall and see how much money you can make selling it. Ooh, that's really good. That's Max Foshian.

We also had this, God damn, I love how it's an encyclopedia of Simpsons did it. Yeah. We had this idea where it's like, so we've been using a casting website to do a project that's coming up. And it's the first time we've ever like casted people that like aren't our friends and uh we were talking about like i don't think we'll do this but the idea is funny and there's an idea somewhere uh but it's like we we shoot a yard sketch but we cast guys that look like us as ourselves and we like direct them and stuff like that so it's like me and aiden arguing but it's like a bald guy and a guy that looks like Aiden. I was saying we gotta put this in the Ludwig machine. This is like the rehearsal. And shake it up and see what comes out.

Yeah. It's like the rehearsal. But dude just scrolling through the website and all the fucking crazy people that are on there I was like there's something beautiful here to do with these people. Yeah. I'm cast skilled right now. We did a casting call and we had people like act for us. Yeah it was really interesting. That's cool.

Did you feel powerful? felt i felt judgmental did you feel qualified to be judgmental yes yes uh and because i think like with the script we're working with like i know it so well that i was like you're either the character or you're not but everyone was great except for like one person who we just switched out but we did like after that because we had to switch someone out we did a zoom audition last night with someone which is like you know like the dude just in front of a fucking white background and he's just like hey guys and did you make him slate uh no no we didn't make him slate but he was just doing like i don't know i'm making adjustments and the whole time i'm like this is new territory for me and i'm just like this is kind of hard to do to like tell someone like

i don't it's hard to tell someone that was wrong it It is. Also, I had to let go of the guy that didn't work out, which is a bad feeling. I had to be like, hey, we're going to go in a different direction. I know we thought that you were the guy, but after the read, it's not. It's interesting. We're learning. Yeah, it's like your performance was the problem.

It sucks to tell someone that. It's being an actor. I think you're doing fine. You're doing better than a lot of very famous, very powerful producers who would be like, what can you do for me now? So you skipped that part. You're doing great. Dude, we got this guy that's such a baller. Anyway, so yeah

it's been pretty fun. What was my guy? Your guy? The guy that you are on the list Was that on the list never changes always happy? Love you changes. Yeah, he does change any sad inside deep down. He's miserable. I don't know. I don't guy he is Oh, yeah, thank God zipper brought up the the tier list. I'm Wrangler weirdly. You're not wrangler. I'm weirdly handy. You're not weird Remember why I chose a fucking roadside capacitor. I swear to God, but it was weird how handy that was

Barefooters sandals maybe never gets drunk always drinking. Oh, yeah, not always drinking Fuck I think no, I think he's messy car guy mixed with Fantasy footballer. You literally are that. Fantasy footballer. Okay, no, no. This is a fun experiment. Imagine we work in an office and we have different lives and Ludwig is a guy that we work with.

We get a new job in an office and Ludwig's like our guy next to us in the office. What kind of guy is he? He's a half-weeb. He is a bit of a half-weeb. No, because you wouldn't talk about anime with us. He'd be work't talk about anime i would if it was relatable i would talk about sports i got into sports more heavily because it was easier to connect with my co-workers um in addition to fantasy i think you'd be a podcast guy because we'd come in you'd have your coffee mug and be like hey what's up bloodwick uh did

we get the reports done he's like yeah sure like what'd you do today i oh, dude, I listened to the fucking Daily on the way to work here. No, I wouldn't share that. I would definitely be talking about sports in a way to connect. Because sports is like, it's what I do with like, with Christian. Right, right, okay. If I'm showing up and- Christian does love sports. He loves sports.

And I know about sports. And half the reason I know about sports is so I can show up anywhere. And then I can be like, Lakers on a run right now, huh? Crypto guy gambler? No LeBron? I want to see him become little cross earrings guy. What does that mean? Little cross earrings.

You know the guys are always wearing little cross earrings? Why do you want to see what? Wait, I'm just a YouTuber. No, but you can't be a YouTuber. You can't be the YouTuber in this world. Why can't I be a YouTuber? Because you're not YouTubing in his scenario. Oh, sure.

But in the real world we live in, I'm just on the way playlist. You can't be the you can't be a you to be in his scenario. Oh sure In the real world we live in I'm just on the way Sure you aren't can proudly rap fast. I know I can't proudly rap best. Oh guy Current shady in jail I'm in jail for putting ads on Twitter videos He doesn't deserve jail for that Time to move to jail, you know who should be a jail for that is Jake lucky If you're gonna put one person in jail for Twitter ads Jake lucky is taking screenshots and then turned it into a video and I

Saw that I was like bro. You didn't even make whatever this Is dude I will say on the food chain of like most useless, but gets rewarded to like most I don't like how you phrase this off rip. Do more like fucking Jake Yucky. Listen, I'm saying us as podcasters, us as podcasters, we are barely over what people like him are.

I don't. Basically like he's like liberal Keemstar. I, it's not, I'm not kidding, right? It's the same fucking business. It's the same thing.

And, and we are just above that. Just barely. But he's below us. And that makes me fucking sleep at night. Maybe me and Jake Lucky are the same. No. You are the same. No, because you wouldn't just take fucking something that's news.

Dude, the whole time, Aiden couldn't just be like, no matter how low they were on the list, like, oh, I'd hang out with this guy, I think. He would, yeah. He couldn't stop himself. Is there a guy I wouldn't hang out with on the list? Is there really bad people? I don't hang out with anybody in jail except Courage. I would hang out with Courage.

I'm hung out with Courage. What the fuck did I do? I think Courage is sometimes inadvertently the funniest guy on Twitter. Yeah, but like... That's a treat. Avengers Assemble was insane. Yeah, that was maybe my favorite tweet of all time. It is insane. Self-titled, intellectual, good like Avengers assemble was insane, but that was, that was maybe my favorite tweet of all time.

It is insane. Uh, self-titled intellectual, good at everything. You know who I am on this list? Who? Always lying. You're always lying. I'd be lying for fun a lot. You fucking are, dude.

I'd be lying for fun a lot. That's actually true. I can always just believe him. We have to. Sometimes I just be lying. You gave me a taco with chicken in it. You tried to set me. You tried to win. No, that's a winner I just be lying. You gave me a taco with chicken in it. You tried to set me. You tried to win.

No, that's a winner. I was lying. Sometimes I just be lying. You also had Apple Hater. Here's why he's not Apple Hater. Obviously, it worked for Apple. But, dude, at LSI, the Smash Tournament, the Ludwig Smash Invitational, I had a new MacBook Air, the M2 one. And I pull it out, and I start charging it.

And it has MagSafe, like, charger now, back, and Ludwig literally looked at it, and he was like, MagSafe's back! Like, earnestly, it was so funny. I'm glad it's back, dude, the USB-C charging was fucking annoying. It is sick, but the way

he said it. But now iPhone's gonna be USB-C, bro. Yeah, that's alright, but I just think it's annoying. It is. MagSafe was fucking goaded. MagSafe was goaded. The USB-C would sometimes just rip out. I feel like I was breaking all my battery taste to just push it down and pull it out over and over again.

Yeah, yeah. It was like a... A button. Yeah, so here's the TLDR. We got the car back. You're an actor. You have hives. I have hives.

They're clearing up. Aiden is a sneaky. You're in a commercial. And you got another one in two days. I got another one. Tomorrow. Another one tomorrow. Nick's been working his fucking ass off.

It depends which version. I don't know if it's the most updated. Okay, Have you read the script? It depends which version I don't know if it's the most updated Okay if you read one that's good We'll read another one tonight Anyway I think we're at our time I have a little shout out You guys are familiar with

Quinn Dota CCNC Common fan of the Slime Wanderer stream. Quinn Yard fan. Yes, sir. Goat gamer. They won the major. That's right.

They won the Dota major. Yeah. So congratulations. Calm, cool, and collected. Very cool. Gaming gladiators. Since we're on the gaming theme. We'll help.

So Dota, it's kind of like League of Legends. It's harder. It's more based. Yeah, helping our fans understand. It's like very cool. But yeah, that is the coolest Yard fan. You guys are all chasing that. For this week.

If you two win a Dota major, you could be the winner next week. Thanks for the Yard fan shout-out of the week segment, boys. Next week, we'll have a new fan to shout out. And tune in to the Moist Muggles going up against FaZe Clan Friday, March 10th.

Dude, it's so hype we have a dog in the fire. Yeah. Do you have to shave your head? What? Like, didn't you like lose? Like, they lost? I said if they,

if we did a show match against Toast. Oh, a show match. Okay. I'll shave my head with you if you want you know what would me too Of course you guys would yeah if Nick offers that means something you're halfway Nothing else Anyway tune in the moist moguls against FaZe clan surely this time. Yeah, surely

Surely I was watching your heartbreak watching that game fuck Shirley let's go Shirley I was watching your heart break watching that game fuck alright bye goodbye

so we'll see you in the pre-mode guys Nick will have to go so it'll just be the three of us that's my go alarm and we're gonna and we love you goodbye unironically

and parasocially okay bye alright bye goodbye