The Yard - Ep. 87 - Aiden sold his car to buy a CS:GO Knife

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

This week, the boys talk about the streamer awards, an update on the pescatarian deal, and how much Aiden's new CS:GO knife costs...

Oh, I remembered it. You're not ready? No, I remembered, but I was trying to figure out the last thing. He's not ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm more ready than you've ever been about anything. That's not true.

Even school in the morning that's definitely not true why is that something you would be ready for oh because there was this girl Sam on the bus in the morning and she was very pretty

so you'd be ready like what does that mean ready are you coming in hard I would be extremely eager to see her on the bus did you get up early

to look nicer did you talk to her dude I fumbled it so bad with her what happened what happened with Sam, bro? She was basically... I don't want to talk about it.

How long ago was this? You started the episode from here, man. I was just... Tell me about Sam. How'd you fumble it? She rode the bus in the morning. I still rode senior year because I didn't have a car because I was a winner yeah okay yeah wait this is wait the bus this is the bus in high school oh

yeah okay you're older now in my head you need to like leave the bus culture by junior year or you're a loser i was extremely a loser like you need my best friend my best friend who is now a school teacher he would give me rides but only if i paid him five dollars a morning because we were like a morning yeah this is the guy who said the youth is being corrupted by andrew tate he didn't say that he literally gave a nuanced answer in perspective but i did ask him he was corrupting the youth when he was in his no he was just so annoyed to have to get me that he was like, you gotta pay me $5. Wow.

It is classist that you have to have a car. Yeah, I mean, he had a Toyota Celica that he bought for $1,500. Like, the money wasn't flowing for 17, 18-year-old Slum. Down there in Colorado Springs. That's not even close. I was thinking of Radiator Springs from Cars.

I just conflated them. Radiator Springs from Cars. I just conflated them. Radiator Springs? Yeah. Those also don't exist. No, no. Radiator Springs is a place. It's the name of the city in Cars. Oh.

Where Lightning McQueen... Because I was like, there's no springs. It's where Lightning McQueen finds himself. It's on Route 66. It's off Route 66. Off of Route 66. But they built a new highway. Is this Cars lore?

Welcome to the Cars lore podcast. Anyway, back to it. So you ride in the bus. No, Cars Lore? Welcome to Cars Lore podcast. Anyway, back to it. So you ride in the bus. No, I don't want to talk about it. How old was she? What grade was she in? She was just a year younger than me. So she's a junior, you're a senior?

The length of the bus. Was it like... It was a normal bus. You know what was funny? Shut the fuck up. Whatever bus you ride is a normal bus. It was a normal size bus with a lot of seats that was really long. When did we start publicly understanding autism?

That might decide. Back in 2008, we were calling it Asperger's. Is that? All right, all right. Regular size bus. It was since 2000. It was part of the No Child Left Behind program. No, it wasn't.

It wasn't? No. So autistic kids were left behind? You said that so confidently. No, because the No Child Left Behind program was a fucked up program. Yeah, I know that. It was called something that was like, well, we can't leave the child behind, but it also just lowered the standardization for testing.

It was fucked up. No Child Left Behind. You don't know what you're talking about. It was a bad policy. I think you don't know what you're talking about right now. I think George Bush was shaving Private Ryan, and he wanted to make sure nobody got left

behind anymore. Shaving Private Ryan is what I heard. Shaving Private Ryan. Welcome to Choppo. I'm Felix XQC Biederman. Brought to you by Lotion Pictures.

Lotion Pictures? Shaving Private Ryan. Oh, that's a good picture house company. That's good. I like that. Hey,

come on, right? You're the one who said it. The yard. You're supposed to clap for slime right now. For me? I'm not being owned. You are.

No, he's being owned. Why would you clap for me? Congratulations to our special boy who went the longest without eating meat from anybody in the group. Oh. Let's fucking go, baby bears. What are you? Baby boy.

I got food poisoning. Fuck you. What was that? He threw like a small paper You're not around, we talk shit and we don't like you To be clear, when I'm around you do that Right? Is it different?

Like what changes? He's got a good point When I was on my phone here you were saying What's up pussy boy? Don't you know that bear pussies are like woman pussies? And I said I didn't know that And you went ah? Don't you know that bear pussies are like woman pussies, pussy boy? And I said, I didn't know that. And you went, ah, bet you don't know that, pussy boy. And I was sitting here. I was sitting here, I was doing work. Yeah, when you leave it's worse.

Would you say- This is all true. Would you say you're pulling punches when he's around? Here's my question, when I'm gone, what are you saying? Cause that was already pretty tough to sit through. I would fucking- I would, I would rock your world. If you'd let me. Back it up for a moment. Congratulations.

You were pescatarian the longest. I cracked because I had food poisoning. Yeah, what happened? How'd you get it? I don't know. Did you crack before or after food poisoning? After food poisoning. So I got food poisoning and I was eating like saltines and then shitting myself.

And then like just chugging down liquid IV or whatever that. Pedialyte shit? Yeah. Some like Gatorade knockoff. And then. Gatorade for babies. That's what Pedialyte is. Yeah.

And then the next day I was just weak. So I just. Cutie had made homemade chicken noodle soup. And I was like. Yes. Wow. I would crack. That's a good crack. I like, yes. Wow. I would crack. That's a good crack.

I'm the goat. That's a good crack. Yeah. Okay. I thought it was just broth. Why didn't you just pick out the chicken? Because I was like so weak. I had literally eaten saltine.

You needed to stretch. No, I was physically weak. You were bobbing for the chicken. You couldn't lift it. Bro, you weren't physically weak. I was physically weak. You weren't wearing a hospital gown with catatonic eyes. He was weak.

You know how you... I was super weak. You, the, the, our boys, our boys in blue, the Moist Moguls, play... Hey, boys in blue. The boys in blue. I have a Blue Lives Matter flag. Yeah. It's for the Moist Moguls.

Moist Lives Matter. That would be sick jerseys. 2-1. Oh my god. Wait, what happened. 2-1. Oh my god. Wait, what happened? 2-1? They won. We beat Shopify Rebellion 2-1.

I was thinking Shopify Rebellion 2-1. Suck our dick, Shopify. Fuck you. We also switched off your fucking shit product. We use a different company now because your shit product doesn't work. The founder plays Gang Beasts. Loser. Gang Beasts?

Yeah, I don't know I just go ahead sorry you know waiting for that to be relevant enough yeah yes surely surely after his large monetary investment Ludwig will be doing a watch party for his team as they win right now no he's just on a discord call with Eric you weren't live when I checked. Yeah, so I was the whole time Oh you were so

Your little thing just didn't pop up Just like click you sounded weak you said a week How to find my streams Bills though If you're saying you don't know how to find my streams. Yeah, YouTube makes it tough, though. Yeah. YouTube makes it tough. It is what pays your bills, though. They make it hard. To some degree. I have to, I search Ludwig every time. That's how I find his stream.

Yeah. Yeah. That is the way to do it. Hey, Flizz. Come on back and fix some shit. No, bro. Polygon. Polygon guy?

Web3. He's a Web3 guy now. Anyway, yes, I did stream it, but I was a shell of myself. And I spent every break between matches shitting myself. Okay, I have a question. Do you think it came from... So there's two ways... I'm not going to speak where it came from,

because I have a theory, but I don't think I can talk on it. What do you mean? I don't think I can talk about the theory, so why are you asking this? My question was, do you... Okay, give me this at least. Why would you say that?

Was it something... I can't even talk about it. Was it something that went In your mouth Or in the other end I'm cuffed I'm cuffed What

Okay so you can't speak On what you ate But you were sick Yeah Cutie comes up She has chicken noodle soup She says this is for you She had made it separately

The night before For herself Before I was sick Okay And then I just It was in the fridge And you said And I'm

Normally You'd ask her to pick The chicken out But but she's working on stream rewards, so it feels like a weird time. How did you break again? How did you break again? I ate pepperoni pizza in Utah. Cause of death girlfriend. Cause of death girlfriend.

No, my cause of death was. Fubris. My cause of death was dysentery. My cause of death was shitting myself until I was deathly bored with all the definitions in it. Let's say she was gone for a week yes it's a book about pooping and she's gone for a week and all you have is like nothing in the fridge

do you still break probably yeah cause I think I was like looking at what to eat and like when you're reintroducing food to your body after food poisoning it's like bananas like toast and soup the post sick Like when you're reintroducing food to your body after food poisoning, it's like bananas, like toast.

Oh, dude. And soup. The post-sick food strat is like the shit you just don't want to eat. Yeah. When you're like, after you've been sick, it's all the list of shit you're supposed to eat is like, that sounds not enough. Soup was the only thing that looked kind of good. And so even like, this is a good example. I ate her chicken noodle soup.

I finished it. I ordered Panera bread chicken noodle soup for dinner. That's so funny what if you just ate like a huge pepperoni would you have you think one it would not have

gone down well like a pepperoni the size of a pizza it would have been very hard it comes in a tube the one that the pre-cut

that's very bad to eat after food poisoning that's what I'm saying yeah I don't know why I was thinking of like a slice of pepperoni that's like

yeah I was thinking about a pizza-sized pepperoni. One. Anyway, we owe you because we all ate. We broke our pescatarian $100 and we had to dress up in an animal costume, I think. That's right. But And I'm Farmer McDonald. We all refused to do it. Yep. Until you get your toupee. Why don't

we pay for the toupee? What? Why don't we pay for the toupee? He's rich. And make it real nice. Guys, this is all an expense. We didn't even need to joke about this. This is getting expensed for sure.

Well, then you got to get your toupee going. Have you thought about it more? Yeah. What's your style? I want to look like baby no money.

You should get my haircut. Can we figure this out while we're talking? Can we build one for him? Make your own toupee. I want to try out a few

looks. That is a good idea. Yeah. Find a way for us to make your own to try out a few looks calm that is a good idea Yeah, find it find a way for us to do that Maybe next week with a Photoshop of you that we all pitch and maybe that can help inspire you okay I think that's a good idea. It's mine's just gonna be my hair I Want you us to look the same. I want us to be like Da Vinci We can shoot some videos up stuff too Throw weights So dumb balls At each other's heads

Yeah With the same Fucking dumb ass haircut I could be imagining this But I feel like You have asked Ludwig before On this show

Ludwig if I had your hair Would I be famous Yeah I think you've asked that So maybe we test that Yo get my hair You wanna be a content creator This is all for me guys

We get you Ludwig's hair Then you go live And you see if your viewership Increases Ooh Wow This could be a great six month video that is an interesting people racist against bald people well the answer is yes you don't need six month video to say that well that'll be of evidence though did you see the twitch tweet did you see the twitch tweet during stream oh my god twitch was so so it's not racist what is it baldaphobic

it's definitely racist yeah okay twitch is racist and we've said that quote fwiz and susan wajinski have both been on the record saying web3 will replace us dollars and twitch is racist they said that and us people in an interview with playboy uh-huh great articles yeah i i i heard that they tweeted out the deleted screenshot somewhere it's somewhere it might be on will neff's tweets and if you can find i think i think that's his profile go to nesu's twitter if you can yeah so what happened was at the Streamer Awards, Nesua, who is another bald guy, that's all I know, pretty much,

is interviewing with Will Neff. Newly bald, yeah. Decided to cut the cord. You know, you get rid of Netflix, you get rid of Hulu, you shave your head. It's great, bro. And so, there's a picture of will neff licking his head and twitch takes this picture uh which is a great

picture and they post it on their like main account on the twitch twitter yeah this is it and they say and they tag will neff and me that's not me yeah i don't even have a beard that's pretty funny i know it is really funny so i find this out i'm like at the thing i showed up i'm like talking to people and i look at my phone i'm like no way this is where you went too far i think i did not go too far okay so please go to my twitter and go to my replies you think he he would go too far yeah i think you went too far here let me me, okay. Let's let the people decide. Okay.

Because the people pay our bills, Ludwig, and I respect that you don't. I want you to know if we had a little diagram of what side we were on and where I think you will be. I think it's realistic that you went too far. I did not go too far. I think you have a track record of maybe going too far. So what I did is I typed in Isis beheading on So did you think of anything along the way was there like anything before Isis beheading that maybe this is really right to it Yeah Okay, It's uh...

So this is what I replied to Twitch. This is a screenshot from what is a YouTube video of a man who is about to kill two innocent people. Now stop, stop you getting there. Stop right there. Did you watch the video when you looked it up? No! Okay. This just came up on Google Images thumbnails. Nothing violent was on the thumbnails it's very sad

though yeah it is it is right people die yeah i say this is someone who who saw a lot of things when he was a teenager who should have watched it that is a horrific video yeah i throw you a couple kind of a couple similarities and you tell me if it's too far would it be okay to reply with a picture of Hitler? No Okay, explain that to me. Is it the number of people? So yeah, it's actually just a it's a numbers thing. What about where's the line? What about a serial killer? What about like a serial killer? I replied with a picture of John Wayne Gacy. Yes, that is way funnier. Yes So the line is humor he dresses a clown just clown. Just help me. Just help me here. Just help me. So you sent that image to Twitch's tweet?

I replied to it. Are you hoping they reverse image search and then they get scarred? No. What's the goal? The goal is to say, this is how upset I am. Why don't you just stick with the Kevin Hart reaction pictures like everybody else? That's probably way better. Yeah, I think it is.

The worst- Here's what- Sorry, go ahead. What's up? Implication of what I think maybe this could be construed as a threat, which is maybe the problem. Absolutely not. Really?

Really? Really? What are you going to scheme out? As an invitation to go skiing? To go skiing. Have you seen the video that that screenshot is from? In the desert. This is a good educational content.

If you didn't have Twitch Turbo, I think I would be a little more It's the same David Schwimmer video but then he just starts beheading her. And it pauses like, is this sexual harassment? The HR video? Listen, so I have a chip on my shoulder

for my entire life that will probably never go away of like, big authority whether it be companies or like governments or like cops or whatever that like making them squirm in there. And while them trying to maintain their like corporate sheen to me is really funny. And I think that is what I tried to achieve. And I didn't think about it. I didn't plan it out. I just fucking screenshotted that guy's ski mask and then sent it because all

I wanted to do was say, hey, what are you going to do? Do you think that you go skiing and it keeps your face warm? You could be a great leader of France. Ski mask. I don't get the joke. Do you think that the random fan who tweets at you and fucks with you is also looking at you as the big entity that they're trying to make squirm?

And I think about that too. And I'm like, that's fine. Like, that's a pill I have to swallow. But I can also just block them. Like, that's the difference. If Twitch, like, blocks me for that, it's like a statement, right? If Twitch like blocks me for that, it's like a statement, right? So they're in a very weird position and putting like authority figures in weird positions like that by being a little stinker, I think is something that's just in my DNA.

It's not a good thing. It'd be so funny if they called you pussy boy. It'd be so funny. Imagine. I'm not justifying this. I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm saying this is just how I am and I don't think about the implications until afterwards if I face consequences

I'm gonna I'm gonna mark a little tally and went too far do you think I went too far too? on this one, yeah you have to say that, you're in commercial I think what you did could get you banned off Twitch and I think it's probably not

I'll keep it even you didn't go too far really, it's just a word it's probably just a guy. I'll keep it even. I'll keep it even. You can't say it! Really? It's just a word. It's just a flag. You got yourself offended. It's just a flag. You've walked into offense and all I did was put a guy on your page. I didn't walk myself into offense. No, I'm saying that's what you're saying. You're basically saying they're getting offended. You just posted a guy.

I'm saying this as someone who thinks it's kind of funny it's kind of funny I'm not part of the funny train that's fine I'm talking I think it's too far but it's also kind of funny you're my ear Mike you're also the same though that's right I like you yeah but I wouldn't make that to you just threatened to behead Dawson in a call If you just didn't Listen to your comms I would have not done that Yes you would have

No Dawson you would have Threatened to behead Because the problem is If I threatened Dawson With that You might do it to me So you've threatened

Other people to behead Dawson might show up No I've never threatened I've never threatened To behead someone in Valerie You know you're saying It with like a

No I would never I have never done to behead someone in Valorant. You know you're saying it with like a, no, I would never. I have never done that. But you've wanted to say that to Dawson. Not to Dawson. Not to Dawson. Why? Because I like Dawson. I got into the Discord call the other day

and they're already yelling at each other, like everyone. And I'm like, what's going on? And I'm like, I don't understand. And it's like, Aiden told someone in our Valorant lobby that he wanted their mom to die So it's hater court

There are two times there are two times in Ballarat where I've told a random Something to do something terrible, or I hope something terrible happens to them. The first time it happened, the first time it happened, they're both, they've actually both been the same. This one kid would not stop saying the N word. He would not stop saying the hard R. Okay.

He thought it was funny. And we, uh, and they were also like berating me and my duo at the time, who was someone I had gone on a couple dates with at the time. Oh, your duo? Yeah, my duo. And we're just playing unranked, and these kids are being really shitty. Wait, is Linus from Linus Tech Tips on your team? Or is he saying the N-word? Linus is saying the hard-on.

We can skip this. Absolved. Move on. Next. Second time. This second time is the most recent time. It's basically the same thing. This KO in our game, presumably Linus Tech Tips,

is running it down with a shorty every round. He's saying the N- word over and over again. And he's also- And he's saying that Intel kind of came over the top of AMD today. That's actually the only word he could be saying that wouldn't be funny there. You're running down with a shorty and yelling any one word over and over. That's pretty funny. But he's saying this one.

It does fit the bill. And he's running it down. So he's making me uncomfortable. He's making me mad. And he's making me lose the does fit the bill and he's running it down so he's he's making me uncomfortable he's making me mad and he's making me lose the game and what's he say to you

what do you say to him and I have and since that last time which was about I think that was a year and a half ago when that first time happened

I was like under no circumstances under no circumstances should I ever tell someone to kill themselves in a game even if they're saying the n-word i'm just not gonna say it anymore got it but i i we're coming we're coming i just can't i hate how much control this guy has in my life right now i hate how much how much he has ruined my day because this was our first game of the day and it ends and uh we i

can't even remember if we won or lost, because honestly, I don't care. And I said, the game is like booting out on the last round, and I'm like, Kale, I hope your mom dies in a fucking car accident. Dude, that's so hardcore. Choosing the method? Damn. That's hardcore. Damn, what are you, L?

The Saw music starts playing. Because I just hate that you can log on and you can make you can just choose to make people so miserable around you and his mother doesn't deserve to die she doesn't deserve this she doesn't but he deserves to feel the pain unless she was a duo oh imagine yeah she's also on she's on She's online She's on the computer In the kitchen Yeah She's on the kitchen PC

That's right son Yeah Run that down In the fucking trailer park Or something Well Do you now have a rule Carved out

So it's like Okay I will never Ever tell anyone To kill themselves Or Unless they run it down And say the n-word And are main

Using ko Yeah they hit the bingo card And it's like I my first rule. I didn't tell him to kill himself That doesn't seem as a demon I feel like this is you're missing the faith of the rule faith in the rule the faith of the rules not a little bit upon people Little bit right okay. Let me ask you question. You think you went too far with how what do you think? Yeah Yes, because I thought about it more after that game

I was like okay, you know two instances in three years of playing Valorant. You know I don't think this is terrible Here's why I don't I just I just i i think that at no point in real life you get to be such an unbridled piece of shit it just makes me so angry yeah if that person is in real life it's at like some sort of like rally where where they're like holding a fucking revolver you know what i mean like that's the equivalent of that guy in real life yeah it's like that extreme and i i actually because i think there's a lot of like funny comparisons you can make. I was playing,

I think it was last year and I was playing pickup basketball a lot. And pickup basketball Oh no, what'd you do to him? was exactly like solo queue in games in terms of like people's ability to like communicate and participate. To jiggle pee,

to throw a flash. Some people ball hog and like, or like, Some people ball hard. flash some people ball hog and like or like some people borrow ball hard and some people ball hard right and and you have your terms yeah what i was thinking about is like even in this like even in that version uh in sort of this equivalent environment in real life when you're like basically going to play pickup basketball with random people and you're trying to enjoy yourself as you might in like solo or duo queue in a game you never get

that guy because he has a room of like 20 people that will turn on him who is like will either berate him and like not want to let him to play anymore or or like i think potentially that person fears physical consequence for the action. And I'm not even saying you need to like threaten or do that. I'm just saying in person, you cannot get away with doing something like that. Yeah, I mean, it makes me so angry. The analogy too with like FGC and fighting games versus like online games. Like the FGC, it's called a community because it inherently generates a community because you're in real life with people.

community because it inherently generates a community because you're in real life with people where people are just much more like mellow and normal and aren't like willing to risk physical consequence for being a piece of shit some people are some people are but what i'm saying is like that's that's the difference like online just turns our brain into fucking mush follow this guy on tiktok who takes a chance he just goes up to people i don't follow him but he pops in my for you page and uh i think his name's jare boys if you want to find chance, he just goes up to people. I don't follow him, but he pops up on my For You page. And I think his name's Jerboys, if you want to find him, Zipper. He just goes up to random people and he goes, what's up, Pipsqueak? That's crazy.

What's up, pussy boy? And they'll be like, what did you say? And he'll be like, I said, what's up, Pipsqueak? Can you move? And then it'll be like in a Target and there's like a wide alley and they're like, and then he's like that's right you're easy pickings if they move and uh and and so i follow this guy and every time i see him like this motherfucker but then he did one and it's this big it's like six four black guy and he's

like what's up pipsqueak and the guy turns and he like gives him like a wide eye and then he gets like he gets a lot quieter he goes through he's like i said pipsqueak wow it's like a little quieter he commits though but i want to see one episode i feel like i need closure where he just does that and he gets his shit rocked by something yeah i think that's what he wants too right man i don't know i i just that's the closure i need for this saga of pipsqueak and easy pickings you know the the daniel mack guy who goes up to people in nice cars and ask them yeah for a living and he has that one video where he goes up and i always wondered if this would happen because uh is he goes up to like two girls in a really nice car and they get mad that he just like walked up and is filming them and which is a totally reasonable

reaction to what he is doing i think yeah but it somehow like never happens to him it happens a good chunk he just then he like retweeted that and it was and basically like conveyed like yeah these people like suck how could they be like this is that's crazy you're just like going up and like harassing people in public unasked on camera yeah world's. I feel like people are way too comfortable filming other people casually. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit.

Keep it moving, pipsqueak. Can you turn it up? Yeah, we can't hear it. Yeah, I am. This sucks. You're my way around. Yeah, this is just like harassing real life humans in public. Yeah.

Which is crazy. crazy to do for content Oh, yeah, listen if you're doing this without the camera love of the game what it's not good But like there's like you're just an insane person on does that like you know what I'm saying There's so many years in history without cameras. We're all those people based. No, they weren't based this guy It's also not based if you're doing it without a camera I wanna be on your team so bad. I wanna be on your team. You're saying it's not for attention. It's not for attention. You're just an insane psychopath, and it's like okay. But you love the game. That guy's a psychopath love the game. He wants to make this target a miserable place.

You just you respect their game, but you don't maybe appreciate what they do. Absolutely not. I cannot appreciate that. But it's more of like i like you can put them in a bucket but when it's when you're like filming the fucking the content it's like oh it's like even more disgusting i can appreciate that i was with connor we did a beer tasting stream we tried every american beer uh and uh we went to a liquor store to get like just those big 24 ounce cans so we're shopping we're getting every single beer there. A woman walks in, looks a lot like what I would assume a crackhead looks like, you know, classic LA.

She seemed like she was on something at the moment. But she walks in. It's all fine. She, after a while, she looked like you. And then after a while at the Streamer Awards specifically, after a while of talking to me and Connor, she goes up to us and she goes, what language you guys speak in?

And we're like, I'm like, what English? But I assume she heard Connor. Maybe you just couldn't understand his accent. So I was like, Oh, he's British.

And she was, and she did the thing where she's like, Oh yeah, I'm like 20% Polish, 50% Welsh, like 30% Irish, like 40% Swedish or like whatever. I'm like, dope,

dope, dope. So we check out, we're doing our thing. And right as we're about to leave, to leave she goes up to Connor she goes can you say have a good day in British what and so then Connor like kind of looks at her puzzle then goes in his voice have a good day and then and then she looks at him super confused and she goes no no do it do it do it say it say it but say it in British like so she knows, she thinks it's like a language. But Connor doesn't recognize that.

And so then he kind of like, like preps himself. And then with like a lot of riz, puts on like a Harry Potter accent. He goes, have a good day. Like assuming she just wanted to hear like a thick British accent. She, still confused, goes, that wasn't right. And then we leave. Dude, that is, that's like a twist shatter Yeah Nope, nope, nope, you didn't nail it

You didn't get the part It's just not British, it's just not close enough to British What did she think it was? What if he starts speaking Japanese and she's like Ah, there it is I do think if he just dropped a Welsh line, she'd be like, that's British That's British It's crazy to not know what British means a lot I think there's a there's a decent chunk of Americans that don't think of American English as English

They just think of it as American. Yeah, I guess we speak American this reminded me I had a whole I've been you're like have an interaction and then like later it haunts you and you just think about it Oh, yeah, okay, so I had one of those it's much more benign i had a conversation with someone who was telling me about moving to malibu but in my head i was i heard miami i don't know why like i didn't mishear them i was just hearing malibu and thinking miami and this whole conversation with them about florida and every time they would say malibu i would just bring up Florida things that I know about or like have a conversation and they wouldn't Florida man they they're I was

getting a weird energy from them like they think I like they don't understand what I'm trying to say but I realized that they were trying to be nice about me not knowing where Malibu is guy who only talks about Florida even though it's very close to us, later, I was just sitting there and it hit me. I was like, oh my God, that was a conversation about Malibu. Did you like message them later? I don't remember who it was with. Wow. I remember the interaction.

I remember I had the conversation and I had to go to Malibu recently. So I connected all the dots. I'm like, oh my God, this is Malibu. If you're out there listening. Now I'm like, who thinks I'm stupid out there? It's killing me. I want to know who thinks I'm an idiot so bad. I love Malibu, Florida.

And I'll own the moment. I just want to know who it is. Is it a place? Malibu, Florida? Zipper, can you check? Because then if, like, you're so saved. No, no, no. Yeah, I thought you were talking about Malibu, Florida.

Especially a thriving community of 25,000 people. Sarasota. Oh. There's a QROOro For your dumb ass That's what That's what this person Looked up after we talked In fact

It's one of the most Beautiful places on earth It was uh It was hit really hard By the hurricanes this year Was it? There is no places That sucks

Because every state Has like a Los Angeles Yeah There's like a Los Angeles, Virginia I think the Springfield Is the most common It's in every state

Yeah shit like that. Almost like that. So you really hit a big L there. Yeah, it's been haunting me for weeks. Yeah, you're dumb now. No. Do you feel accomplished? Why are you saying that?

You won an award. I did win an award. In a way, we won an award. Yeah, in a way, we did win. I thanked everybody at Mogul Moves. Who did you not mean? From Mogul Moves? Yeah, Anna not mean? From Mogul Moves? Yeah.

Anna? No. Anna did a lot for chess boxing. Probably. If it's chess boxing, who did the least for it? You probably did the least for chess boxing. Now that I think about it. Anna Molly.

No. Slime on a... You did nothing. I did nothing. Close to. For chess boxing? I did nothing. What did you do?... You did nothing. I did nothing. Close to. For chest boxing? I did nothing. What did you do?

You're kidding me. What did you do? I'm trying to remember. Oh, zipper. True zipper. You... I was on the fucking... I was talent.

Oh, he didn't cast it. I was on camera, bitch. I forgot about that. You were on camera? Didn't you cast? Dude, I casted smash boxing. Oh my god. You don't even care.

You're so fucking far away from your fucking passions. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. You're disgusting. No, that was actually really, I was really fond the time that we shared there. You both were casting. Oh, it was me and you together?

That's so gross, bro. Oh, no, I remember that. Yeah. I thought you did the Spanish broadcast for Smash. I did. No, I remember that. I, I thought you did the Spanish broadcast for smash. I did No, I remember that I remember that you feel what's Falcon in Spanish I wonder Falco Yeah Also what it is in French, you know

Halcon Halcon, you know, what is rent-free in my head right now is the fucking clip of xqc playing or watching dory the explorer and i'm like what fruit does the horse like it's red and it grows on trees like apple apple and then it's like apple he's like yeah i got it i can't stop thinking

about it yeah he got there this was a weird week because he moved in he got there this is this this was a weird week because he he moved in he worked in the office this week that's right yeah he clocked in yeah we we had a we had a nice little moment one of the days where he showed up at the same time and we were just walking to the office together like yeah got our punch cards and we're going back to work and i don't i don't know what i expected because I've already like lived around his stream, but while he was in a separate room. But it is so loud.

It is insane the levels of volumes that are reached. And I'm just like this little ambiance in the background. I describe myself as the love. You're not a little ambiance in the background, by the way. You are also loud. Really? No, I'm just saying in general. Oh, yeah, in general. It is funny. He's like, this guy was loud. Yeah, by the way. You were also loud. Really? No, I'm just saying in general. Oh, yeah, in general.

Oh, I mean on the street. It's just funny. He's like, this guy was louder than I was. Yeah, that is insane. He was kind of loud, you know? Look, I genuinely think you should check your hearing.

Ever since we've moved, like, we've lived together. I did. And is it fucked up and bad? No, it's fine. That's crazy to me. Wait, they did a beep test? Yeah.

When did you do this? I did it, like, four months ago. No way. He's got good hearing, then. Yeah beep test? Yeah. When did you do this? I did it like four months ago. No way. He's got good hearing then. Yeah. He's good. I think it's his headphones. I think with his headphones, I think he's-

No, he's done this without headphones. No, it's not headphones. He does it in conversations. It's only if he's doing something else at the same time. That's the only problem. Yeah, he can't do two things at once. He can't do two things at once. Oh, that's a good point.

It's always during melee. He can't do two things at once. He just can't look at one thing and think about another thing. You only one at a time it's hard it's hard it's hard it's like a four-piece jigsaw puzzle in his head and he just can't make it come together he's like fuck what no i've learned i've learned if i'm having a conversation with aiden and then he starts to do something else i just stop talking and eventually he'll look back at me and i'll keep talking and in his head there was no time gap. And he said,

there was no, there was no skipped moment. He just turns back. And then I started again. It's like, we were talking the whole time. He's like, he's like,

this is a great conversation. Oh my God. It's four already. How was it having a coworker? It was kind of nice. You liked it? Yeah. I kind of liked it.

And, uh, there was, so there was this nice moment during one of the valerian games where me and yingling are playing with this guy who's a great teammate he's calming a lot he also clearly has a nice mic and you could hear somebody else in the background of his mic when he talks and i was kind of wondering what's going on and he brings up that his uh girlfriend is a streamer so like she streams next to him and turns out he's a streamer as well um and me and yingling are laughing like calming back we're like we got a streamer in the

background right now too he was asking he's like yeah you got this is how it came up is he asked like you got a lot of background noise i'm like you got the same thing and uh and and i was like well what's what's your girlfriend's stream like here you post your girlfriend's stream and i'll post you're slow rolling because you have nuts yeah you got claws and he he insta posts his girlfriend's stream and i just post xqc that's so so hard. He thinks I'm fucking with them. Of course. And him in the random is like, what? Like, what do you mean?

I'm like, no, you don't understand. And Yigley's backing me up. It's like, go to XQC's stream right now. That's me playing Valorant in the background. And he's like, what the fuck? And he opens it up. He's like, bro, wave at me. And they both lose.

That's so funny. Wow. You're just farming off X's cloud for a couple just in-game friends. Yeah, just for some high fives. The next lobby, that guy's not even there, but you're like, hey, anyone a streamer? It is noisy, right

guys? And this is all while X, you see is like, potato? Yeah, I got it. Yeah, it was nice having him around. It was,

it was kind of fun for a few days. Yeah, he's some good background noise. Yeah. Yeah, you've been around.

I miss you. I've been around. I went, I went, what? Where'd you go? I went, I went to Texas.

My goat. We did a podcast since then right yeah yeah you were you were already in texas but since you've been back i think honestly i had a time skip because the food poisoning was crazy the way you describe your fever dream i heard you talk about that was i i have one-to-one had the exact wait what was it because i forget right now you were talking about um how in your fever dream you were awake, but you felt like if you moved in slow motion, it would heal you. I've had that exact thing happen to me. When you wake up in the middle of the night and you just like trick yourself

into thinking the world works different. And you're just like, if I move in a certain way, it actually like puts my health bar back up. Yeah. I believed that. And so every time I woke up maybe 30 times, I would slowly roll over.

Cause if I moved in slow-mo, I'd get healed. And I would take a sip of my Gatorade. And I was like, okay, I have to drink Gatorade in between every single wake-up. And I have to eat a saltine. Are you in bed when this is happening? Yeah, I'm in bed literally just getting up and slow-mo doing these actions. I was going through it. How long were you out?

24 hours. It was like a food poisoning. It was like a 24-hour flu type thing. So you were good by the streamer awards. Yeah i was fine i was fine i was i was just weak the day after because i hadn't eaten anything uh and the streamer words i was fine streamers is great that would have been my time my time window to kill you yes 100 yeah like you're done actually yeah if i ever get sick i mean sickness comes on a dime and it changes in everything about your life if i ever get, I think you have a really good shot.

Hand to hand. But not 100%. There's always a shot. I could slip. I feel like adrenaline also maybe like masks a bit of it. So it's like, it depends what sickness, you know? You think with this food poisoning, what's your chances of me bare hand killing you? Depends the time you come.

Middle of the night, you got Gatorade in your hand. You probably got me. Yeah No, cuz I'm fighting in slow mo You are too Respect the rules I Want to say I had food poisoning to the same day, but like a much minor case, okay Shit, it was it was like the same day. You had it. Yes. Oh interesting had a little shit? And it was like the same day you had it. Was this from a Double Down? No, I didn't eat the Double Down.

No, because everyone was... Oh, he wasn't pesky at the time, but he wouldn't eat it in general. But, yeah. How'd you like the Stream Wars? Did you have fun? Sure! Stream Wars was good. I had to do your gig.

My gig? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did a little interview. It was supposed to just be a song, but he got all shy. So he was like, can I have Ludwig as a sidekick? That's so funny. He got a little nervous. I heard he was being a little nervous bear.

It was good, though. It was hard doing it with two. Like, a little harder. Nah, not for me. You didn't do it with two, to be clear. But I'm the GOAT, so it wouldn't have mattered. Right, but you didn't. So you wouldn't know.

Right? So we can, like, get over that. Like, maybe you'd be the GOAT, but we don't know. Who's we? We, like, the world doesn't know. The world. Everyone. It's unknown.

Xi Jinping. It's like- Including. Do you know what potential energy is? No. Yes. Okay, can you explain it to him? Because I feel like it's like a basic concept. I don't really know.

Like- like- I'm just like a goat. Like this has potential energy right now. And if I let go, it would activate into kinetic energy The fuck is he talking about? Camera it like you play the game It's like one of the knobs you can change in Unreal Engine 5 No, it's you what I'm saying is you could be good, but we'll never know unless you do it Can you show me kinetic energy?

Dude, dude. why did you drop that on the set bro i tried to show you guys you got you'd be a great teacher do you get what i'm saying ah you i actually understood you more before that example he's an english major you look good it went it went pretty well it went pretty well what was your favorite part hassan started to heat up a bit Cause he's like a little quiet during some And so like one I was talking to Dante Who's a WL streamer And I was like do you think it's the year that we like bridge the gap

Between W and I was trying to say WL and Poggers And the moment I said bridge Hassan goes like Of course you're bringing up bridges Like PewDiePie man That's crazy Is Dante black? Yeah And I'm like what?

And then Dante's like, he's like, you want to say it? No. Yeah, yeah. He gives it to us. And I'm like, and I'm like,

no. And then he starts to say it in like slow-mo. And they cut away. It was actually beautiful. I run to the camera and they cut away. Wow.

That was a fun moment. It's always so interesting. I remember like, I don't know what it is about streamers, but I think getting up in front of a it is about streamers but i like i think getting up in front of a crowd is also pretty scary but like to get up to just be interviewing people in front of a camera where you don't you can't really see the audience and you still get

nervous is really interesting to me like where does that come from right because like hasan streams like 30k people every single fucking day yeah he's one of the biggest dogs so it's just funny it's weird it is funny to see him be nervous intimidated by something it was funny because squeaks was one of the interviewers and he was kind of the biggest dogs It's funny to see him be Intimidated by something like that Because Squeaks was one of the interviewers And he was kind of tasked with doing all the Twitch readouts I didn't notice any other interviewers doing them So every time the camera went to him He just had to be like and click that button

If you want to ask a question It was like the first thing he had to say like every time And I think it like worked against him In the chat I think it worked against him The second you see him... In the chat. I think it worked against him. The second you see him, he's like, Twitch, Twitch ad, click the button, Twitch. And then he does this part.

He did great. He actually used push-move. He did really... I feel like he was the most invested in the other person when he was talking to them. He knew a lot about them. He was really good at the Christmas concert because he was in that, in the play, too.

Squeezes is great. Yeah. Oh, he was. Yeah. Oh, he was. Yeah. I remember that now. Right. The man. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Are you okay? You reboot? I'm just being normal.

Dude, I had a crazy interaction after because after the streamer awards ended, there were people outside who like caught wind of where all the streamers were exiting and just like waiting around for some pictures. Yeah. And there was this one person that was specifically yelling for hasan they were like hasan hasan and uh and i'd been warned that was like there was some weirdo but

i was like lugging some stuff and i parked in the public garage so i'm just lugging the stuff up and i see this guy in like a boba fett mask i'm like that's that's weird and he's just yelling about us on i'm like i get myself out and And he's just yelling about us on. I'm like, I get myself out. And I go back inside, get some more stuff and I walk back out. And then they walk over to me. They're like, hey, can I get a pic? I'm like, no, you're good. And then and then I walk away and I find out later after I meet up with Jerma

it's the Bill Clinton kid back at it again. No way. The real one? No way. He showed up. I saw a video he made with Jerma. Wait, the one on stage was fake? Yeah. The one on stage was fake. Yeah, yeah.

I got owned. That was just a guy that looked like him. Yeah, but then the real kid showed up later. The real kid showed up but couldn't get in. Failed. Mission failed. That's awesome. Failed off.

No longer knows how to get into award shows. Does anybody know who this guy is? Yeah. His name's fully out there. He originally gained fame like four years ago at a Clippers game when he did the hong kong flip if you remember that he was wearing a clippers jersey and the camera showed him he's like yeah and then he was like just kidding free hong kong when the nba was being silent on the issues happening with china and hong kong yeah uh and then i think he kind of like got a high off that then did game awards then did a bomb on like high stream yeah i saw that one and

then tried to do this one but failed that's cool i don't think it is it sucks it kind of sucks it's cool i didn't get in you don't be cool is if he did it and then he made a video like how i snuck into the game awards and then he like spun off a successful career rather than being like how can i be a nuisance of this yeah he's just hitting the crack pipe of that thing over and over. Without any long-term plan. That's the opposite of what you said. He's just doing it for love of the game. That's what I was just about to say.

This is the opposite. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's love of the game. He's doing it in love of the game. Yeah. I mean, that's just, he's doing what he's doing. I would like the video because then I would understand motive more.

Yeah, well, that's part of the allure. I think it's kind of like Dark Souls. Right. Stop. Just stop. I want him to finish this. How is it like famous game Dark Souls? It's like Dark Souls

because if we knew all the lore, we would not really care about it but the fact that there's something mysterious like we still think about it sometimes. Do you think it's like Metal Gear as well? It actually is, yeah. Dude, it actually

What do you want from me? It's like Shakespeare. Is it like The Wire? Is it like The Wire? It's not like The Wire at Shakespeare. Is it like the wire? No, there we go They were safe not safe wire much much better piece of media than Metal Gear What I knew exactly what he looked like they announced that it was wanted but if you don't know the name want it Maybe it's like more confusing. Oh, yeah

Yeah, that was he was just a streamer named whatab who got into some heat because he did a crypto scam a few years ago. Oh. But he was 18 when he did the crypto scam, so it's like. So it's cool. At some point,

I put culpability on people falling for an 18-year-old saying, buy my coin. Yeah, but the problem is it's 15-year-olds buying the fucking coin

or maybe 17-year-olds. I disagree. I'm okay with teenagers getting scams. I think there's a 35 year old man who watched that and it was like

this is my time. Yeah. It's time to get rich now. And I think it's okay that they maybe were taught a lesson and hopefully this will all amount.

I had 18 year olds trying to steal Microsoft points from me since fucking day dot. I think it's good for the American people to go through that. playing defense

for a long time. Hey, I have an idea. What is it? What if we did this ad read, but we all only said one word, and we kept it going? Oh. Yeah. Okay. I think let's add a little twist to it, because that could get annoying.

Okay. You know what pop is? So let's just start reading, and then whenever you want to stop reading, you say pop, and you pass it and you pass it You pass it to whoever you want. I know what else to say right? We'll mix it up. We'll make it. We'll keep people on their toes. Okay. Okay got it. Hey pop They need to say who it goes to. Wait does it go which way? You pick. You pick.

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Let him speak. You won't speak until I say it! OG, I didn't mean it, and I'm sorry. Prepared by chefs, approved by dietitians, easy and flexible, with options from 4 to 18 meals delivered per week. That's my question. Did I say it? Yeah, you didn't say it. Did I say pop? Look, did I say pop? with options from 4 to 18 meals delivered per week. Are you going to do the whole read? That's my question. Because we can just prepare for that. Did I say it? Yeah, you didn't say it. You didn't say it, sir.

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And that is number one ready to eat pop slime. Factor puts human meat No! Into their food. It's dice. Factor puts human meat No Back to it Back to the episode

Back to the episode I was exposed I was exposed in the I have exposure in the crypto crash Not in the crypto crash, in the bank crash The Silicon Valley bank You're an SVB investor? In a roundabout way i so i tried to buy

a csgo skin recently but i needed a stable coin and i haven't bought crypto in a long time and i've i always used to use coinbase so i deposit money in and i get like five thousand dollars in usdc um which is you know always been worth a dollar this entire time and then i wait a couple days because there's always a withdraw period for pulling the money out that's like really normal but i come back can we stop yeah you try to buy a csgo skin and you bought stable coin what the fuck is what is that. And then he also, he went to Argentina and he tried to buy a beer with Bitcoin. Why don't you, really quick,

why don't you just tell them how much the skin was in US dollars? What is the skin you're trying to buy? Why don't you just tell them how much the skin was? 5,000? You said 5,000, like that's the minimum you have to deposit. That seems like a high amount. That's not even close to how much the skin's worth. Why don't you tell them how much the skin's worth? You don't even play CS that much.

You don't. Here and there? Yeah, yeah, that's not a $5,000 investment. Oh, still a small number you're saying. Wait, okay, first of all, let's back it up. Wait, so what is a CS skin? Tell me what it looks like. Yeah, it's a, okay, so it's like a butterfly knife. It's a knife.

Tell them which one. It's a knife. Tell them which one. It's a sapphire butter- butterfly knife. Zipper, can you look up sapphire butterfly knife in the market? In CSGO. Yeah, and it looks pretty? Yeah, it looks great. Does it help you in the game? No. Cosmetically, it's good. Well, I would never play a pay-to-win game. Right. Well. Cosmetically, it's good. Cosmetically, it's great. The base in cringe meter is going more towards based after saying that. Alright, so you wanted to buy this knife. What is it? Is that it? That's it. Oh, that's it right there.

Doppler Sapphire. Wow. Pretty nice. What's the knife I bought? Well, where's the price on it? Uh, you know, it's based on the market and what people are really looking for. Sure. Are you buying it factory new? Oh my god.

What?! Bro. Factory new, $20,000 and then minimal wear it's 15k. Were you getting a stat tracked? Were you going minimal wear? No, he doesn't like statting. It's literally on its way down! Stat track looks ugly on eyes. Look at the graph, bro!

Well, I bought mine for 14. You bought it?! No way. You bought it?! Are you kidding me? You bought that?! Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what is this 5,000-

I thought it was like, I thought it was like 2 grand or something, which is still crazy. Yeah, but I sold my car. Why didn't you just open one box? You sold your car? No, that makes sense. This is better now because he sold his car for the knife. Did you actually sell your car? So you, yeah.

The Jetta? Yeah, the Jetta. I sold my car. Did you use the money for this? Yeah. Dude, what? Dude, what? Dude.

Wow, yeah, I forgot. I want to tell you guys about this. Did you Dude, what? Dude, what? Dude. I so, so. Wow, yeah, I forgot. I want to tell you guys about this. Did you tell your parents? Are you? Can you call your parents right now?

Call your parents. Oh, please, yeah. Call your dad and tell him what you did. Call your dad. Right fucking now. And I want you to tell him the whole, I want you to

tell him. Call dad. He doesn't know about this. Does he even know what CSGO is? Real shit. Yeah, loosely. Wait.

Pump that volume up for us. Hey, buddy, what's up? Hi. Hi, so I'm calling you on the podcast right now. Oh, no. Yeah, it's an oh, no moment. My friends would like me to tell you about a purchase I just made. You know what Counter-Strike is, right?

I have a phased idea of what Counter-Strike is, yes. Just being around you guys. Yeah, it's a video game. It's a video game. It's like a shooting game. So in the game, there's's like weapon skins like cosmetic and skin Yeah, they're purely cosmetic skins that don't help you in game purely for looks just cosmetic like buying like No, no, you're not dressing a character it's specifically like pretty guns or pretty knives or pretty gloves

Yeah, so I bought a knife for for $14,000 Yeah, I bought I have a cosmetic item in the game that that I bought for $14,000 USD Right and so this is like a shop thing for your dad effect, right? Do you think it's a good idea or do you think it's a bad idea cuz I thought I thought it was maybe the latter I can resell it Well one thing I've learned I Didn't think video games were a good idea at all when Aiden was 8 and 12 and 16, and that proved me wrong, so I don't know what to say.

And you'll all be proven wrong again. Your father flies planes, and you're buying fucking knives for five digits to not get better in the game. Do a lot of pilots buy CSGO skins? I don't know any pilots that buy it. Yeah, you don't think it's part of their success? Yeah, it's weird. I figure that's like part of the process. Yeah.

Alright, well hey, you only have to sell his car for it, so it's not a big deal. Yeah, no, tell them where you got the funds. I sold my Jetta, so I used the Jetta to buy the knife. Oh, man. This is only something that appears in the game when he plays it, which is not often, by the way. I just feel bad by leaving slime hanging there last week. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you screwed me a little bit. Okay. It's all right. All right, well, now that I'm hanging there last week. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you screwed me a little bit. Okay. It's all right. All right. Well, now that I'm done confronting you with my financial decisions, I'm going to say bye now. All right, guys. Have a good time. All right.

Love you. Bye. Love you. Your parents are too supportive. That's the problem. He thinks you're a pussy. They're too supportive. That's the problem.

I'm like. I think he just kind of turns out his son's a pussy. A pussy little gamer. A little pussy gamer. That's the problem. I think he just kind of terms that his son's a pussy. A pussy little gamer. A little pussy boy. A little pussy gamer. He's got to go to his pile of friends and be like, hey, does games suck? Your dad calls you pussy boy. He said the perfect what.

Yeah, it was good. What? Do you think that he, what do you think he feels right now? I think he thinks that's insane that I would do that. Like 100%. Can we play a little game right now? Sure. All right, I want to play a little game,

and it's called The History of Aiden's Digital Purchases. I'd love to play this game. Now, welcome back to the Digital Purchase Game Show starring Aiden Calvin. Amen. All right. Now, we're going to start off, Aiden. I have a question for you. You an nft in the nft boom

2020 2021 is that correct it says here that it was an apartment but online one you can't live in is that right yes now a question for you that one what did you buy this apartment for uh it was i think it was 950 dollars no way and do we have an estimated value this apartment now? What's yes me to value this apartment now? It's like 60 60 bucks 60 bucks. Wow MSRP for a new switch game Alright, that was I can't eat the apartment. That's a fact Yeah Now item number two is actually a message that I received from Aiden in person in confidence Which said yeah the price of of Ethereum is going to be up

in like three years. You just have to trust that asset. Have you waited three years? Have you waited three years? That conversation was two years ago. And let's take a look at the price of Ethereum. If you can pull that up for us. Here we go.

The goal was, I think, a little over $2,000, maybe even $2,500 for being lofty. And I think our current price is maybe 1500 16 1600 okay, all right, so only down 300 from that convo you what happened to all of your theory I'm well, we're focused on your game show for now Not a contestant Yeah, and then the final question you bought this night for14,000, so let's do a little game.

Let's check back in. What's the timeline you want? You want to do three months, six months, one year? Give it a year. Give it a year? All right, one year from this date, Yard members, remember, mark it on your calendar,

remind us a week before, what is the price of the knife now? Is it factory new? Factory new. So it won't be factory new after you use it? Factory new, no static. No, where it won't be factory no Doesn't dissolve okay. I always keep you say do you think that you'll sell it before a year?

No So it's gonna be one year. We have to see what the price is if it's down What do you what do you look let's pull six on it? Yeah to pay you want me to put more? Money on the line now. You're thinking about Your weighing risk. I'm not saying money. This is... I can't. Because you specifically

said to your dad, I can sell it later. I can't. I can't sell it later. Right, so that's like a concept that is in your mind to justify it because it's like a thing

that has value. A lot of it is shorting Valve right now. Let's quickly address that. I wouldn't buy it if it was something you'd buy and then it was worth nothing after. But you're not going to sell it in a year. It depends how much it's worth.

You just said no. The state of mind. I expect to not have to sell it. I would like to keep it. But if it doubled in value, would you sell it? Ooh, if it doubled? I hate that. Dude, if it was worth like 30K, I might sell it.

This guy's diamond hands, bro. Kn worth 30 like 30k this guy's diamond hands this guy's diamond hands diamond brain fucking nothing brain yeah source two all right in one year if it is worth i would say less or as much if it's equivalent less or as much well if it's as much it's a it's a push if it's worth less You have to get us 100 CS boxes each that we get to open I like that if it's worth more keys He's gonna do each of course keys and boxes keys $40 case we will You can't pick like a $40 case. We will respectfully keep all the cases around like something modest.

Yeah, be like normal key. And then if you win, we'll each get you $100 cases. Okay. Deal. Alright. That's a deal. Yeah, fuck it. I like that.

We need to- Counter-Strike is still a fucking video game by then. You know who wins? Valve. Congratulations. We need to go- No, we can beat this by going to New Zealand and confronting Gabe Newell. No, we can beat this by buying up all the knives right now, jacking up the price, and then mass selling them right before our one-year bet.

Can I say that he actually has better odds than this bet? Because CSGO 2 will be out. But what if it's a disaster? And all of these skins are projected to be worth more. What if they don't port? They do. They do. Literally, people would burn down What if they don't port? They do. They do.

Literally, people would burn down buildings if they didn't port. It won't be a new game. It's Counter-Strike 2. It won't even be a rebrand. That's what the leak says. Oh. Yeah, it's whatever. It's a nothing burger of announcement.

I think I'm in a good position. Unlike my NFT. Yeah. Which I was not in a good position. A huddle, baby. You guys should just gamble like normal guys you know we do that it's like all this shit is just fucking gambling with a with a sheen of like yeah i do a little bit of trading and this is like just go to the casino just go to some underground fucking dirty ass place and fucking gamble this is because it's

at least go to a filthy place full of poop and crud and gross minerals and dust. Where there's minerals and roaches and bugs. But also a blackjack table. And a blackjack table and it's just cash. There's no chips. I don't think what I'm... And just fucking gamble.

I don't think what I'm doing is comparable to putting that much down on the blackjack table. I think that it is. And I think that's the, that's the lie. I think it is. Everyone tells themselves that it's not.

If you put $10,000 on a blackjack table, you re you return 97% of that. I think, right. Yeah. It's 97, 98% of that. And so I don't think like it's too far off to say you might get a 97,

98% return on that knife. Yeah. Like, no't think like it's too far off to say you might get a 97 98 return on that knife yeah like no i think it's the odds the odds of the loss are much lower right i guess if you're plus ev on a fucking video game knife that's blue the odds of a loss seems a little harder than a known likelihood of this going to zero which is what putting a hand down on black check is very right if you do one hand But if you were to bet a similar amount with many more Have it's like a 97% return can you look a bowie knife Doppler see how much it's worth carries how mine mine's worth now Yeah, my my knife. I think I sold it. It was like a fucking

card karambit and that I named Larry David SSB Battle-scarred karambit and that I named Larry David SSBM How do you not keep it, dude? That's your little guy It'll never be worth anything It'll never be worth nothing No, no, no, it's a classic blue steel Yeah, that's what I got Larry David

Marble fade, baby Marble fade Yeah, he has a knife Dude, fuck off He has a knife It makes me so mad to this day It was crazy Bowie Knife Doppler

Yeah, that's mine You know what's funny? Like three Back new 342 Okay, that's about what it was worth. Back in like 2012, I played a lot of Dota and my friend cracked a case

with the Pudge Dragon Claw hook, which at the time was like, like the cosmetics in Dota are crazy now. It's like whatever. But he just gave it to me because I played a lot of Pudge and then years later, it went up like to $800 in value

and I sold it and I bought us, me and him, a bunch of video games on Steam. Very cute. That's cute. But yeah, it's all gambling, bro. The stock market is just gambling on reality. It's so

cringe to pretend it's not. People in their fucking suits pretending they're fucking like based and shit. Fuck that shit. You're gambling on the reality of commerce and the world interacting instead of numbers, like fucking an ace in a, in a guy with a sword.

I don't think the stock market is akin to gambling. If you are all in on fucking futures, you're just gambling. So you gave us an example where it is gambling, but I think like for the average person, the stock market is gambling. I think for people who do it as a job they generally have like leveraged positions of power same thing with poker players right it's

all but it's still you're still taking a risk for more money and based on an investment which is just like interesting to me like i think i just don't like the cap the average person stock market yes the people who are using the stock market because they have a lot more power and a lot more capital, a lot more resources are, I think, able to, in certain ways, contort the stock market to their favor. Average person to win on it. The average person just has like a retirement account or a 401k that's invested across like the spread of the stock market.

And I would not really call that gambling yeah that's fair i think it is it's not you're just taking the fucking the patriots i think you're right that the average person is gambling though because the average person doesn't understand it i'm thinking yeah i'm not i think you're gambling if you're like trying to fucking weekly trade on robin hood i think you're gambling if you personally are doing the investing without i mean i guess it depends. It depends. I guess it all depends.

It all depends. It's all case by case. The whole idea of like investing safely is just betting that the stock market goes up like in an index fund. I know. Yes. You're meowing. He's bored.

He's tired, but it's still gambling on the fact that like the economy just grows forever. And it's like, fuck that bro. Just don't cap. You are right. That is a gamble. and we have just call it what it is good call it a casino not even 100 we had a good like 90 years 80 years call it that's been the case but you're right like a good example is the japanese stock market which crashed in the 80s and has not returned to the height that it was at in the 80s

so it's not a guaranteed increase like it is with the American stock market. That's what I'm telling you. In our lifetime. That's what you were thinking about. I was thinking about that. You were thinking of that hard example that he just, that hard concrete example he just gave you. You know what?

Sometimes if he gets there by magic, he still gets there. What if they took those, the aisles with all the porn that are really high up in the building, put them on the first floor? Stock market might. Stock market go up. Might start going back up. What if they put the poop in the vending machine in the 80s? That made it so popular. They were Stock market in Japan. What if they put the dirty underwear vending machine in just like the 7-eleven? I think Japan has like four of the top ten companies in the 80s. If the, like, if your Suica card could buy, like, shit pants.

Yeah. The penguin logo is he's wearing a diaper. You guys talking about goosh pants? Goosh pants? Wait, is that what they're called? Shit pants? Yeah. Goosh pants.

Is this like a colloquialism? It's called goosh pants. Look up goosh pants. I don't look that up. Don't look it up. It's so gross. Look up goosh pants. I think looking it up would be bad. I don't think I want to see this we download pictures of goosh pants get on a plane so we can still look at them Is this a style thing yeah, that's really funny what?

These are all just we pants on They're pee on the front, poo on the back. Goosh pants. How have I not heard of these? That's like a picture that Matt Walsh quote retweets, and it's like the fucking woke fashion has gone too far. That's actually hard. I didn't realize it would be that hard. Yeah, I was like, oh, God, Nick's going to come. If someone's up in the club and I've pissed and shit myself,

for real, and that's my look? You're coming to the next episode with Goosh pants What you buy I'm keeping it classy these days you're keeping it classy yeah I do have a name for the lud look at lud core blood core yeah i've i've uh coined this okay so it's like you wear what is just most comfortable to you in general and every part of your outfit and there's no they don't relate you you style each portion separately okay and that's lud core yeah it's like a segmented like it's like a it's like a po box i like the shirt po like a PO box. I like this shirt. A line of PO boxes.

Is that your Bumble shirt? That's exactly what I mean. Be kind. I bought this because I went on a trip and I ran out of shirts. And they had it at the little store. Which is the only reason Lud buys shirts. It's because he doesn't have one right now. It's actually amazing that you could run out of shirts.

Well, no, just on the trip because I only brought one shirt on the trip. Oh, when you went to Texas? No, this was like a year ago. Just some random ass trip. And this one made it through. You threw out Duke Vitro's shirt and you kept this one? Yeah, be kind.

Bro, that's so insane. Would you like it equally as much? Would you just like the color? I think the color's kind of ugly, to be honest. So you like the message? Yeah. You're a big positivity guy? Yeah, I like spreading positive messages and I like being kind. Can you give me a positive message?

Wow, for you? Yeah. Yeah, like a personalized one for him. Like what do you mean by this? Write me a postcard. Write me an inspirational quote that I can put on my wall. Oh, something to strive for yeah right for you i'm gonna cater this yeah right make it for me simple hate less no that's it

no hate less you just said you're what your shirt says but the opposite yeah you do because i feel like he doesn't notice be kind and hating less is being kind in a way kind of said it in his language yeah yeah what if your shirt was just a bumblebee but it just said stop replying to me on twitter god i fucking you're dumb what was that dumbass tweet you tweeted hate people who hate more it was yeah bro you had the dumbest hater post it was like no it was like it was like no these are some simpsons jokes that that would piss me off no no no no no no no no no no no someone tweeted out there's like these are my top 10 simpsons jokes that uh like these are these are my screw the audience jokes and

these are misdirection misdirection simpsons jokes literally a subversion of expectations which is just a normal fucking joke 10 clips from the simpsons and then slanderous replies and he's like that's not what this is at all. This sucks. No, I didn't say that. I said, these are just normal jokes. And someone replies, like, with the bear from the show, it's like, just normal jokes. And it

just felt like, like, why? They just wanted to share 10 clips from The Simpsons. That's vintage, because, like, I have always... Vintage hater? Yeah, because, like, fuck, bro. That doesn't makeater yeah because like fuck it's just annoying because they're saying vinyl is not better because they're crossing their arms and being like yeah so this is just like kind of the genius of the simpsons where like sometimes they went a little off and it's like no they're just fucking doing normal jokes we're just normal men just

innocent men it's just like it's it's annoying because know it's for, it's to say something is like so super special when it's actually just not, but it's packaging it in a way that people feel like kind of more intellectual about it. And that is annoying to me. Why is it annoying? Is it also being a Jimbo? Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah.

It's being a Jimbo. A little bit of a Jimbo. What's a Jimbo? A jargon Jimbo? A jargon Jimbo. You're right. Essentially, you're right. I should just shut up and be like, all right, whatever.

Shut up and let them like The Simpsons. And let them like The Simpsons. Every time I see you now, I'm gonna post the meme or the cartoon. Let people enjoy things. Yeah, because that went so well when the guy who invented that comic, like fucking who is it? Separate the art and the artist.

Whatever. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, bro. Let people enjoy things. No. What was the other thing you hated on? I hate a lot. I did a lot.

Yeah. You're back on hard. I love it, dude. I can be, I can step down. I was hating it a little too much. Yeah.

I was kind of what it felt like to be. No, no, no. I'm trying to be good. No, you're back. It's good. You're trying to be good right now?

Yeah, you said I'm going to be heading photos., you're back. It's good. You're trying to be good right now? Yeah, you said someone would be heading photos. So that's... So you're trying to be good, though. I think... You did your thing. I think that my... It's like, you know, in Austin Powers, there's like two things I hate.

People are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch. That's me, but not for the Dutch. It's for... Everyone. It's for... No, the second one would just be like drama reporting twitter

accounts like that just sets me off so like i like that how is it like austin powers your first one has to be related to that because i'm tolerant because i i'm tolerant of everyone there's two things i don't like the second thing has to be. The second thing has to be... This is not like Austin Powers. It's like Austin Powers. There doesn't need to be a reference. You barely tolerate people who enjoy Sykuno streams. That's not true. I think they're great.

I respect all Leafs. You barely tolerate people who enjoy Minecraft streams. I think they're fine too. I think you're scared of them. I think that's why you're saying that right now. I am, but also I respect them. Because you fear them? Love the game. Sure. Love the game. Love the game. I think that's why you're saying that right now. I am, but also I respect them. Because you fear them? Love the game.

Sure. Love the game. Love the game. I've heard some shit. I've heard that the Minecraft stand-ums, there's a lot of infighting. They'll cancel each other. There's power gaps. There's power vacuums.

There's hierarchies. All among the stands. There's drama. It's pretty crazy. Always. So I'm like, like damn fucking go for it My goats your regret you're gonna regret that reply Reply when a vice documentary drops

About like the cobalt mines in the Congo and it's g2 hunter on the fucking ground With the fucking hidden camera showing the eight-year-olds getting the getting the cobalt i would love to be proven like yeah that instead of reposting a person's tweet that already exists on twitter and thinking that it's like actually matters and changes anything and does any good going to the fucking the congo yeah and saying we gotta we gotta stop so it's all all you need from Jake Sucky and Hunter for them to be like, yeah, I don't think what I do is important, but like, I want to make a living. It's the cap. Yeah.

It's basically, it's saying like, oh, I think I'm like doing a good thing. Or I like, it's just saying that, uh, yeah. A G2 Hunter, I sorry, normal Hunter messaged me and we talked about it and it's basically like him justifying what he thought was going on and i was like i think you're wrong for these reasons and he's like well i think i'm right and it was fine it was a fine conversation but i didn't i didn't come away from that thinking any different like at all which was usually honestly not the case usually i'm like oh okay i get it i was being a dick but this one was like yeah it's basically

quit trying to pretend you're the news and editorialize way more like be yourself if you're gonna be a pundit be a pundit if you're gonna be a news outlet be a news outlet but like this weird like fucking like reposting shit for like fucking follows and like it's it's gross it's fucking gross i have a hypothetical scenario for you. Yes, please. If Hunter was... He was just on the ground during the Arab Spring filming videos of Molotovs while the

change of guard happens in Egypt. He's there. He's filming Gaddafi. But then he walked away from it to do what he's doing now. He lost so much. Is he fine? No. It's actually not. Because a guy who sees a Molotov fly over

his fucking head would never end up doing what he's doing now. But he does in our eye. I don't think at all. The answer is no. You wouldn't believe him? No, I would say like like damn. I'd be like They also by the way if you like fucking be you hear this and really you're the yard fair slime

And you like send hate to like this guy or whatever go fuck yourself. You don't matter I don't do that even though some people eventually will, whatever. Like... Wait, I'm in the box on Twitter. Give me out. I'm in the tweet that he made about him. Yeah, it's also gross. I've been thinking a lot about, like, influence, too,

because it's like, no matter what, no matter how many times you say, like, don't do this thing, don't fucking this and that, people will just still do it to, like, don't do this thing. Don't, don't fucking this and that people will just still do it to like, try to get your attention. And I realized unless you directly speak to them one-on-one, which is impossible to do feasibly, they will just do it anyway.

Like there's a portion of people that will, and it's like, fuck, it's such a black pill to swallow. Cause you just can't, can't be yourself. Can't be normal men. You know there's a

double down KFC? I do. You know there's a triple down in Korea? Oh, they made chicken two? And there's chicken in the middle, yeah. The grilled double down to me seems kind of hype. Dude, Mike. Oh my god.

Mike 10? Tell me if I'm evil. okay tell me tell me if i'm evil i would like to know if i'm evil so when i was very i was very busy this week very stressed out very unhappy at times and uh mike makes this tweet like i will eat a double down for every 10 subs i get you know the tweet's not getting that much attention and And I'm like, I'm going to retweet this. I want others to suffer as I did. And so I retweeted. And I think it played some role,

not maybe a huge role, but some role in that hitting 10 double downs that he must consume. I think even if you gifted 100 subs, it's not evil. Like, he signed himself up for this and he gave himself a limit. Yeah. That's a good point.

You're, and if anything, you're being a good friend. I, well, what I did, I did something similar where I tweeted about it, but I didn't like link it. I didn't like mention him. I just, it was like, if you really want to find out what's going on, you like that layer of friction is very big. And so to penetrate that takes a while. But I do feel like I also may have contributed,

but you know, who really contributed Nick Wang. He literally donated like 40 subs or something. I bet you wrote that off. Like 40 subs. Dude, Nick Wang was awesome. This was mine.

It's mouse from the matrix and Morpheus fighting Neo. Nick Wang is also in chat and he's like, go on, you're not done, keep going. Yeah, dude, he's a psychopath. Yeah, he is an actual psychopath. Did he crush all ten? I don't remember. It took him two days. It took him two days.

He spread it. What's the calorie on that? Ooh, let's get some math. What's the calorie on a double down? I'm assuming it's 600. He was over 6,000 calories already when he had eaten four of them. Wait, what? No, there's no way one is over 1,000.

No, there's no way. That's what... There's sauce in it. Okay, a double down calorie. Guess, guess, guess. I'm going 850. 1100. 985.

800. Just the sandwich. 1100. Just the sandwich. Double, double calorie check. Zipper. Double down calorie the sandwich. 1100. Just the sandwich. Double, double calorie check. Zipper? Double down, calorie. No, 1120.

Uh, no, bro, just tell us what one is. 1120. I think my math has to be wrong. Pause champ? Oh, okay. 610 calories. 600 calories for the whole go. Okay, my first guess was great yeah i gotta try it yeah i thought it'd be way more dude that's still insane so the grilled version must be so healthy for you

it's just chicken it's literally just two chicken breasts and then cheese and then bacon yeah healthy is such a strong word wait just two grilled chickens and then cheese and then a sauce. Yeah, that's great. It's not calories. It's also keto. I think that's good for you to eat fucking six of them. We're not talking about six of them. He's just talking about the global.

I didn't say six double bowls. You're not listening. You have your headphones in. Shut up. There we go. All right. Yeah. All right, guys.

Okay. Yeah, she's mean. So yeah, Mike put down 6100 calories He started talking about like, I need to chop it up and put it in a salad or something Is that cheating? I'm gonna shout like, yes

Eat it Throwing darts at his feet Dance, eat the chicken Yeah, I'm glad he's alive Shout out to our good friend Mike Dan, eat the chicken. Yeah, I'm glad he's alive. Shouts out. That's not a good one, Mike. Dude, the Kaede stuff. Yeah, that's insane.

Oh, like people shit on her online? Yeah, she's getting shit. Dude, isn't... Okay, didn't the votes get locked in before she said her diagnosis, right? Yeah, so the context... That's insane. The context is Valorant Streamer of the Year. And then you went up and you presented. You did great. You think so?

You looked... Right? I wanted to ask you. I wanted to ask you. Did you hear me? Did you hear me? Because you can hear me in the clip a little bit. What did you say?

From the back, I yelled... As soon as you got on stage, I said, expose them. Expose Riot Games. Did you hear me? No. I said, did you get that belt from Abercrombie and Fitch? No, you didn't. I did.

No, you didn't. I did. To all of your cool friends at the cool table. And they all laughed and high-fived. Yeah, to Nick Allen, Jerma, and Hasan, and we all laughed. Did Jerma miss me? He didn't say like, oh, there's slime. I miss slime. He didn't say that. oh, there's slime. I miss slime.

He didn't say that. That didn't come out of his mouth. Yeah, that would have been really unnatural. Are you sure? Based on vibes. Yes. Based on vibes,

also a no. Right? I tried. I tried. All right. That's cool. Anyway, your announcement is great. The belt definitely should stay back

in 2008, but the rest of it, awesome. That's cool, man. You're in a be kind show. announcement is great the belt definitely should stay back in 2008 but the rest of it awesome that's cool man uh and you're a be kind the belt show up in two days to your house no i had someone go get it for me uh damn uh yeah and then so you announced and and the expected winner i think for some people was tarik because he has been Valorant in terms of viewership for the whole year, for every major event. But Kaida ends up winning. She has the best speech of the night.

She gets up there. Fucking hilarious. The skinniest. She's like, I didn't expect to win this, but I pulled QT aside and I told her this is my make-a-wish. And then she just walks off. For context, she got a diagnosis of cancer, which which she's she's like going through right now which is insane like it's really sad so anyway after she like tweets out kaide tweets out she's like man this is why like uh my heart dropped when i heard i won because i figured i get some

hate and now everyone's giving me shit for this like i don't even care about this award yeah uh and like tarik had to be like yeah like it's like it's not a fucking big deal but some people were upset and they were like, uh, you're saying hateful shit about it. But the facts are the voting was done before she had announced, um, that she had cancer. Yeah.

For the public vote. I think the panel vote was after, I don't exactly know the timing for that. Uh, but also the order went, Kyde, Jody, Tarek. Because Tarek is zero promoted.

Yeah, he didn't give a shit. And he was literally playing ranked Valo while the award show was going on. It's not like he was sweating this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's so interesting. So yeah, it's like this big fucking gross thing. Tyler won winning while playing League.

Pretty hype. Yeah. Tyler won. He's a franchise, bro. He's's gonna win that for the next decade he's the he's the celtics of this shit yeah he's just he's got that on lock i don't i can't imagine a world where he doesn't win it unless he quits league of legends and even then he might have like a two-year buffer a two-year where it's like i remember him one must imagine tyler one happy yeah uh it's it's pretty crazy i mean and that's what that shit with uh with hunter was about i was like what

the fuck bro like this is so gross because he just basically like screenshotted her tweet and then retweeted and then like tweeted out i was talking about like this is happening and it's like bro she gaps you and like followers and like and influence. This isn't reaching anyone that otherwise would be like, oh, okay. It's just weird. I don't know. So that's why I was pissy. Selfishly, too,

because it really doesn't have anything to do with me. I just hate that fucking industry. I'm on his side. And I always have. I think it's diehard reporting. Yeah. Look, the second Hunter goes to the fucking goes to africa yeah and fucking gets on the gets on the microphone yeah and teams up with fucking vice hunter hit me up we're going to

damascus we're doing a docu but again i'm a hater but i feel like this one's a little more justified i'm just i'm pretty sure one of those like sit down bbc interviews and it's like it's hunter sitting on one side and it's a sod on the other and it's hunters just looking through his notes trying to get like he's looking at tweets do you have any like uh like a twitter what was like the tipping point for using the chemical weapon? I mean imagine bro. How easy would it be to get one of them to like just tweet something that's just not true? Like could I just like DM them and be like dude this is just fucking broke like it's low key. I think it sucks because someone else has to tweet it for them to like activate like fucking bots.

I think it's for sure happened, but the the out is like allegedly. You should make a tweet announcing something and then get him to tweet it and then delete yours. And be like, just kidding. Daily loud is the example of this. Yeah. Who like,

they are the same in the sense that they just repost shit that they see, but they spread a lot of misinformation because they just post whatever. Yeah. And like a, like a, they're very hurtful in the amount of misinformation they spread, but they also have a far reach. That is so insane.

So there is a level below Hunter and Jake Sucky's level of vetting in this space. Interesting. And it's Daily Loud. Okay. Oh, there's a few accounts like that, too. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Daily Loud's the one I know is the biggest. Wow.

But there could be a bigger one. Yeah, I mean yeah it's I mean it's all the same like grossness that I just can't it's a little it'd be a little better to me

it's not much better but it'd be a little better to me if they had some sort of like company name or something but when you're

just like a guy and like your means Dixerto Dixerto does the same thing Dixerto's the org version of this yeah yeah yeah

and it's like is that still good because I think no it's horrible but if yeah but if you're doing if your means of getting a lot of followers is just by signal boosting shit. That's happening It's like the lame. That's what I'm saying. Even if it's not controversial shit. It's just normal

Sure. Yeah, they made one. It was like Ludwig and cutie house soda pop and Nick and Malay That was insane and I was like, I'm not even there I'd even sign off on and then like the next level of this is like your mogul males right but there's a difference because people were pissing oh I'm a hero well you are a hero but no people are pissing me I was like well fucking Ludwig does his mogul male it's like obviously don't you see the difference where it's like one you're inserting yourself and your views into what's going on which takes bravery it's like it's you're not a fucking marine but at least you're putting your opinion into the world though instead of being like this happened and then kind

of like being like what do i think what do i think and then you're also like you have built yourself as a person to represent your values and shit which is like it just makes more sense and you also do a lot more work in like in like researching and shit so it's like the equivalence is so cringe even though you are part of the evil it's like little what you're you're way more less evil yeah you're just less evil a lot but i'm still part of the evil yeah you're part of the evil i'm part of the cabal yeah yeah you pushing out mogul males is part of the problem but okay but it's like wholly a good like a good part like maybe i'm tan i can change i can change them like 48 you're like minus two ev

really yeah can we flip a coin no for evil no no i'm just evil you're just barely okay you're two points of evil okay it's tough which is fine great that's Great. That's not a bad percentage, I guess. I think you're all right. Hello. What's up? Fuck you. Okay. All right. Cool.

Thanks, guys. Hey, why'd you guys write kill stands, by the way? This is a suggestion. That was during the shoot. I'm trying to remember. Yeah, I don't remember that one. I do remember Carl the Pharaoh. Carl Jacobs the Pharaoh.

Yeah, we were talking about what if Mr. Beast made a video where, what was it? He forced everyone to make a pyramid? Yeah, yeah. Because he was catching shit and then he caught more shit. And we were just like, yeah, just go all in

and make people build a pyramid. Oh, just do it. And then we would bury Carl Jacobs in it like a Pharaoh. Dude, I've thought... You cover him in molten gold Oh Jimmy I'm going to the pyramid you're putting me to pyramid Jimmy Huh, why don't we build a pyramid?

Efficient use of space we get love buds to build a pyramid. Yeah, it's like train week They would you tell them your Subaru sandbar is at the bottom of this dirt mound? Guys, it's in Sylmar and we need a pyramid We turn the guy's house who stole it into a pyramid Yeah, we go and we surround his house in boxes like it's a big thing, like a pyramid Can we build a pyramid quick? Like how big? who's we like a the size of Giza? Hold on a big one pyramid the pyramid of Giza size We didn't do by do this Did they know what can we look up pyramids built this decade?

Are there new pyramids? Take to build the Luxor while the pyramid is originally built by 4,000 workers over 20 years using shrinks, slides, and ropes. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Is this now? Building the pyramid today using technology would take five years with 1,500 to 2,000 workers. 1,500 to 2,000 workers. Wow, it'd still take that long? So someone did the math on this.

Someone had the same question. How long was the construction for the Luxor? Well, that doesn't count. Why? Because it's not a pyramid. It's obviously a pyramid. It's not. A pyramid is a shape, Ludwig. Yeah, but that's it's also an idea. Pyramids have to be made of crud. That's what you think? 18 months.

It's a... And that's the power of Vegas. The Luxors are like a hollow like shell and it's a steel... The people in it are hollow shells, but the building is real. I'm talking about like a pyramid six five black that looks no you know how they'd say the pyramids were white and they used to Gleam I'm talking like that like we build it, but you can see the Luxor from space. That's a lie. It has a light You can't hear the spaces true

Hovered over the Luxor So it's also magic. I don't think you need to look from space Can you see the Luxor from space? No, I don't think you can. Zipper? I think if you could it- The Luxor beam cannot be seen from space. Well I could. I could. But you know what you can see from space?

Criss Angel. Levitating. If you could see it from space the light would have to be so bright that it would- any plane flying over would fucking die. Die. That's right. The Luxor is also a weapon. It could be.

It's a magic weapon. Like in Minecraft. Anyway, it's not a real pyramid the way I'm talking about it. You guys get what I mean. I do get what you mean. You want what it takes to build the exact same pyramid and have we ever done it since?

I don't think so. What if we built the Luxor but then filled it with rocks? Because why would you do that? Because then we could stop talking about the old ones. Oh, so you want to erase history. No, I don't want to erase it,

but what's so fucking great about those old dusty ones? Who's ISIS now? You wanna- Who's ISIS now? I'm gonna just start calling you White Pharaoh. I'm just- Okay. Heh heh heh.

Ha ha ha. I'm just saying- You wanna gentrify pyramids. I'm just saying, they made the pyramids like 5,000 years ago, and we talk about it, it's like, the aliens built them. It took 20 years, the technology didn't exist. I'm saying, let's get 2,000 people, let's take five fucking years. Let's build it and be like yeah Fuck your air rain here. We did this in like a quarter of the time they use slaves. It looks wait. That's all these sleds Ludwig read a history book and just misread the word Slade. He's like, Santa built a pyramid.

Dude, sleds? Sleds were a big deal. There was a global trade for sleds. I'm just saying we pay the 2,000 people. They took the sleds on the boat. We pay all 2,000 reindeer and we get this fucking thing up in five years. I think, so Japan has this thing where every prefecture just makes up a thing they have. Like, hey, we grow the best fruit.

Oh, we have the best ramen. We have northern style weed. And all these things are their, like, specific selling points for people to vacation to that. Now, domestic tourism is really big in America, too. 60% of Americans have never left America. Why don't we just give Nebraska a pyramid? Well, not Nebraska.

I don't care. Give me a state. Shut up. And therein lies the problem. Because no one would agree on where the pyramid goes. What if we just pick it? Who's we? We let Joe throw a dart at a map. I say California. I feel like we got enough. Oh, so you don't want it here. Yeah. But it doesn't matter where it goes. NIM map. I say California. I don't I feel like we got enough. Oh, oh, so you don't want to hear

Yeah, no matter where it goes not NIMBY. We need Don't want to happen it just doesn't feel like it a lot of policies here You're ready put in like Alaska? That's a bad idea. Then people wouldn't... Because we could do an ice pyramid. There's no pyramids in Alaska.

An ice pyramid. That would be a normal pyramid. We should build an ice pyramid if it's in Alaska. No, it'd melt. No, they don't melt ever. It would melt during the summer. They always have snow.

No, if it's a pyramid, it won't melt because it would melt into itself and then it would turn to ice again. It would be a smaller pyramid. And then over winter, it gets bigger again. It's like a tree. Trees don't get smaller over winter.

Dude, what if we get Dude Perfect to make theirs a pyramid? Okay, the Dude Perfect Pyramid. And it's only dope-ass trick shots and bonus minigames. What is that? And it's sponsored by some sort of... Dude Perfect Pyramid and all you can do is go to the top and you have one basketball and then there's a hoop at the bottom. Yup.

And you only get one ball per ride up and it's $50 per ride up and it pays for itself. And if you miss the shot... It pays for itself in years. If you miss the hoop, you get shot in the head. Well, I don't know if that... And you tumble down the pyramid. You're losing a lot of potential clients. No.

When did the Incas make the pyramids they don't have them the Incas appearance do they yes I've never heard I don't think they're called pyramids cuz they're like flat on top you come on Machu Picchu no that's a different thing that's also is it even yeah that's in Sonic Adventure Battle one yeah are we are we at time, Zipper? We gotta be at time, right? I gotta piss. Yeah, we're good?

Alright, hey, we're good. Bro, that's where the echidnas and the fucking... Welcome to Yard History where we learn things through the context of Sonic Adventure Battle. Are we really at time?

I'm having so much fun. Well, thank God we have a Patreon episode going on. Thank God we have a Patreon. Should we go a little longer? I feel like we gotta cut some stuff. That's alright.

Really? What do we have to cut? What do we have to cut in stuff. That's all right. You really have to cut a short. We have to cut in this one. We're good. We didn't talk about skeletons of politicians. We didn't talk about. Or what Gavin Newsom will do. Sure.

Clear on those two. So I feel like we're good anyway. Thanks for watching. You know what? Per capita, you've brought up Hitler probably more than anyone in this podcast. I brought it up. It's true. For you doing. You know what? Per capita, you've brought up Hitler probably more than anyone in this podcast. I brought it up for you doing it. Doing what? He doesn't bring him up.

If you're still watching the episode, everyone tweet at DudePerfect asking for a pyramid. Don't give them context. I just want to say make the pyramid. Make the pyramid. Hashtag make the pyramid. Make the pyramid. Bye.