The Yard - Ep. 89 - The most Optimal place to aim when you pee.

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

This week, the boys talk about the creator clash drama, unboxing knives in CSGO cases, and embarrassing stories from when they were younger...

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You said that like you were gonna intro I got nothing. That's cool. You have nothing. That's cool. That's what I've noticed. You've been dodging me. That's cool. You've been dodging me? I need something so crucial from Ludwig he just ignores me. Oh, fuck. Hold on. I's what I've noticed. You've been dodging me. That's cool. You've been dodging me? I need something so crucial from Ludwig. He just ignores me. Okay, hold on. I have not been ignoring you.

Where the fuck have you been? Because you brought this up last week. You brought this up last week. You're like, how come my friend doesn't respond to me anymore? That was for friendship stuff. And then we got his context, which was, you messaged me twice in like three hours, and I hadn't looked at the message yet. No, I messaged him.

He missed me. No, I need to do this. This is like one of those things in the list. It's like you need to do it. Wait, this is like a real thing? Yeah. This is a real thing. It's like a business thing.

And he was just literally not messaging me back. And also, the thing from last week was me messaging him, and then he didn't talk to me the whole day. And then I messaged him again a bunch and like forced him. Let's refocus. Let's restart. Let's start with bad friendship moments. Good friendship moments?

Did we get juvie? Oh, this? I don't know. It just kind of tastes like juvie. Let's start with bad friendship moments. Good friendship moments? Did we get juvie? Oh, this? I don't know. It just kind of tastes like the dream of a kid. Do we have a fridge full? Tastes like a fresh, fruity dream of a child. It tastes like if I played COD, but instead I wanted to be an energy drink mogul. He had a dream, dude.

I'm just holding it. My God. Him and MLK. Bro, it was so... Oh, my God.'m just holding it. My God, him and MLK. Bro, it was so, oh my God. He made that video. He was like, yeah, I think like FaZe, like the stock of FaZe going down

is like really bad for esports. It's like, yeah, because you're like, you can't fucking grift any more investors. Like this is all running out of loss and now you can't lie anymore because there's a big number that's red. Mobile is loading. I don't know if i agree with this opinion

it's so cringe because the only lens that that fucking dope ass nade sees this whole thing through is running at a loss and tricking people with money i don't know if i agree with this he's like a boss i think i think phase is more valuable than what their market cap is than what their stock is worth really i think yeah i think they're worth more as a brand The whole thing with this is that they can see the books now. I think they can't cook anymore You can't cook it up to be clear. I do not know how they're spending 60 mil a year I don't understand that no phase was cooking PJs PJs

PB their buddy CJ What do you think they're doing? Swan Dives. Every episode of Swan Dives has a $2 million budget. So that's a big chunk out of it. It's not even like, hey, we're blowing it all on fucking hookers and blow anymore. Anymore. Yeah, they used to do that. That is where most of their money, to be fair, that's where most of their money used to go.

Can you expense blow? They didn't off Wall Street, so probably. Yeah, I'm sure you can there's a way money laundering still a thing right no it stopped oh really they got rid of laundry in the 90s they got rid of laundry i'm just like how does it work because i remember when i went to asu i walked by this tractor repair store every day to go to class. Okay, never a soul in there But it was open. Yeah, and I'm like nobody's getting their fucking track Group next to a tractor repair store Nobody's going in there. Okay?

Because I lived next to a John Deere store That's just a chain that's a chain yeah, you can't launder through the fucking unless John Deere store. I loved my... No, that's just a chain. That's a chain. Yeah, you can't launder through the fucking... Unless John Deere incorporated his laundry money. You think John Deere is coming?

Are they our cartel? I don't think so. I grew up next to Barnyard Clocks Incorporated. It's all barn-themed clocks. Are you... Is this... This is him being

from New Hampshire. Okay, okay. Me being... No, that was... He said it was at ASU. This was at ASU. Yeah, he missed that. I let it slide, but...

I let it slide, too. But he wanted to come back around. He wanted to come back around to dunk on you. Okay. But it's 5-5. My God-given right to do that. Anyway, I figured we'd do a nice celebration. Welcome back to the yard.

Episode 88. 80-100. So close. 87? 100. 89. 89. Anyway.

The big 100. Wanted to celebrate my victory after looking at the comments in the debate against Aiden. Everybody said I was right. Hey, hey, hey. Everybody said I was right. I love when Aiden takes over. It's hard. It's hard for me.

Everybody said I was right. I want you to lose and you to lose. Aiden, we're talking about your loss. Stop talking. Yeah. Were you going to say I counted? I counted. Because that would be cringe.

That would be cringe. You would lose the argument if you counted all the messages to see how you did not count. Even if you won. And then somebody also took a poll, and I wanted that, too. No, that is... I thought Ludwig won the poll. That was an Aiden op. That was an Aiden op.

There was a different Ludwig poll that you should have seen. Aiden sleeper poll. It's a Ludwig poll. Yeah, the poll said Hillary would win, so how'd that turn out, buddy? Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. That's what... Your poll. Your poll's a Hillary poll.

It's not about the amount of votes, you know? Yeah, it's about the electoral college. So it's like, depends what college you went to, and you have to ask all your friends there. Opportunities. The Greek system. Anyway, let's not focus on how you're dumb, and Monaco's within France and a part of France. And let's talk about what matters. I broke edge.

I took weed for the first time in six weeks Really? It's not breaking edge Is it not? Are you actually keeping breaking edge? You're straight edge I was straight edge for six weeks You drank at the streamer award You clapped I was straight edge off weed

You were straight edge off weed edge You didn't even smoke weed. You just eat it. Why'd you smoke weed? You know what? I was just bored and sad. Did you eat weed? I was just bored and sad.

What were you sad about? Wait, what were you sad about? Because I had done this sponsored stream, and then I was supposed to go live that night, and I couldn't think of a stream idea. I was like, stupid, stupid, stupid. I can't think of anything anymore. You can feel? Well, no. That's why I did the weed. I was like stupid stupid stupid anything anymore. You can feel He's like fuck I'm finally sad I need ideas I need creative inspiration

I'm gonna smoke weed yeah, I ask any of my friends or talk to Eddie He would never if he could never he would come hat in hand asking us for stream ideas He would rather kill himself He goes okay, I hat in hand asking us for stream ideas he would rather kill himself. I would! Because if I go to sign for a stream idea he goes, I kill a man and then I go to jail. No, no, no. You go to jail. I kill a man

and you go to jail. And I sleep on the floor. And then I'm like, none of that is going to be in. But the thing is, when I give you ideas like that, you're always really good at being like in the car. I think a better idea is. Yeah, having the idea.

He's better at having the idea. Yeah, but I'm the Kindle, right? I started. It's not even Kindle. Pussy boy summer. First of all, in the workplace, you have to stop calling people pussy boy. You can't call. This is the backyard.

You called Nick Allen pussy boy today. Yeah, I did on a call. That's not. It's a business call. You can't call... This is the backyard. You called Nick Allen pussy boy today. Yeah, I did, on a call. That's not... It's a business call. You can't do that. Nick called him thick Allen. That was also inappropriate. That was also inappropriate.

Zipper called him trick Allen. That was also inappropriate. I know which Nick he is from the back, though. Three of those. He got a dirty butt. Nick Allen got a dirty butt. I'm going to hire HR, and you guys are going to get fired. And it's just going to be me and Aiden on this pod.

No, it's because of imbalance of power. Imbalance of power. So you can punch up at work. I don't think that should be how it goes. California statute 7.13. You're making sense. David Schwimmer. It's the David Schwimmer Act.

David Schwimmer Act says you can punch up and or harass. Wait, wait, wait. So by this logic, you're saying whoever the lowest paid worker is can go to the boss and be like, well, so good looking and slap him on the ass? Yeah. Okay. How good looking is the boss? Lowest paid worker.

Because the guy. Let's say they're different genders. Do you still feel the same? They're different genders? Yeah. It's not about gender. The boss is a woman. We don't see the world through that lens.

You're asking the guy with pink hair about gender, really? Okay. The boss is a black woman. The lower paid worker is minimum wage. You're getting bogged down in the details. I want you to say, is it chill for the guy who saw the girl's ass? You're missing the forest for the trees. Yeah. All right.

This is why they say don't give white men podcasts. Because you look like that. You look like that. What do I look like? You haven't shaved. I didn't shave my head, so I have to wear a hat. No. Don't touch it.

I wasn't going to. I actually had a vision for a moment that he took it off and there was just beautiful hair. There was just beautiful edges. I wish that's how he would debut the toupee. Yeah. He's not telling us. I've been wearing hats a little bit more on the pod. That's how I'll do it.

You'll never know. Oh, you're just going to 50-50? Oh, no. He comes in with a bulging beanie. It's like the end of Joe Dirt when he gets a Rosted Dredge. Like, what's that slime? You can get the bangs coming out and go for the leafy look. Leafy?

Isn't that the guy that does Creator Clash? It's kind of the Bieber cut. No, it's not the guy that does Creator Clash. It's not? Oh, my God, dude. I was in a Twitter space. No, it's not. The guy who does the Bieber cut. Oh my god, dude. I was in a Twitter space. Dude, that was so funny. You in Keemstar's Twitter space. First of all, don't phrase it like that.

Stop. Stop phrasing it like that because that makes it sound like me and Keemstar did a Twitter space. I have a question. One, what is all this? But two, why is Ken threw Fox up and then also this guy, he did a sub-a-thon in a car's van.

Why what? Because some person, like just clearly a random person on Twitter tweeted about this space and you replied to them. How did you even, what provoked you to even entertain that? Okay, well let's first of all, everyone knows Creator Clash. It's like the influencer boxing event, right? Leafy's event. Idub's runs in, not Leafy. Different. It's like boxing, no nerds.

Yeah, well, okay, hurtful. Genuinely, I don't know the difference between Idub's and Leafy. They're just different humans. No, they're the same. Continue. Copy. And so they have a crater clash 2 I don't know who these people and in one of the people got dropped from the event like suddenly

Yeah, shut up. It in exactly cream why his name was froggy fresh He did an og if you pull froggy fresh his old rap video. Yeah, do you remember Chris? No, yeah, you don't remember baddest of them all by Krispy Kreme It was the internet sensation He did this rap song and it's like these two southern guys to southern white guys and they're holding guns around and it's like oh Shit, I wake up in the morning and I fix my Hair It's not even close

I couldn't think of a lyric off the top Can we just pull it up? But you just gotta improvise because like, fuck it, right? I was trying to figure it out, go by most popular. You gotta click on the baddest, that was what made him famous. The baddest? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is old head YouTube. Yeah, this is 10 years old. Oh shit, I remember this! And this is back when his name was Krispy Kreme. But then he got a cease and desist from Krispy Kreme, and had to change his name to Froggy Fresh, and then he-

Was it that guy? He was forced- Or the guy in the blue. Yeah, Krispy Kreme's the guy in the back, not the blue. Yeah, and he was forced to reupload the song, so it has this many views, and forced to re-upload the song. So it has this many views, and it's a re-upload. And he has boogies. That's what I always remembered, is how he had boogers in the close-ups. That's James Rolfe, the angry video game nerd, next to him. This is ancient YouTube. This is ancient YouTube.

Pause. Oh my god, his nose. Please, not on that frame. That frame grosses me out. Yeah, that's better. This is ancient YouTube. Yeah pause. Oh my god. Please not on that frame My that frame grosses me out. Yeah, that's better. That's better. That's great Yeah, this way the raw shit ever this guy was competing in crater clash and can you pull up his Twitter cuz now he looks crazy Okay, he looks like a fucking behemoth. He looks like he could tear all of our heads I was he in one but crater clash before no this is his first all of our heads off. Was he in one creator clash before?

No, this is his first boxing influencer event. So Froggy Fresh. Froggy Fresh supposed to do it gets booted out. Not really sure why but they said

we're just trying to keep it inclusive in a nice space for everybody and this guy didn't do that so we're booting him we're finding a new opponent for his opponent.

And then Keemstar you know makes a Twitter space with Froggy Fresh in it and he's like we gotta get to the bottom of this. Oh a Twitter space with Froggy Fresh in it. And he's like, we got to get to the bottom of this. Oh, he was with Froggy Fresh. We got to get to the bottom. Folks, we got to figure this out.

Because this is not fair. We got our brightest minds on the case. And I have no idea that this is happening. I barely, I only know Creator Clash is coming up. I vaguely know who's competing in it. But I just see a tweet from Charlie that's like, this Froggy Fresh thing is like so fucked up like this shouldn't have happened and i'm like people have charlie's i'm like it's easy i know what is this so i'm like trying to research it and i see there's a twitter space with froggy fresh because i go to his twitter and i click on it and i realize it's

keemstar's twitter space and so i'm in there for like 10 seconds just trying to listen to see what's happening instantly keemstar's like uh we got a lot of people in here a lot of big names. So if you want to pipe up Ludwig I see Ludwig Wow They're like lug wigs in there. Love it. Do you want to talk here? Do you want to love it? I'm gonna pass you the mic and I'm like don't call me out Just trying to find out the drama because I'm a piece of shit playing Valorant waiting for Q to pop You need a burner for its spaces. Yeah, actually cuz then I get a bunch of tweets at me. They're like, what's what are we doing this space mogul males cooking? How do I communicate with people without having to speak with my voice cuz I really don't want to because the IQ in this room

Is low okay? I'm listening and they are like they're like this is this should be illegal like this Freedom of speech we need to we need to take God so she's saying but they're like they're like we need to do something about this like like this is this is a problem These guys are like commies. They're like taking over this event. event yeah they're like we should democratize creator clash we should have other people in a board and the whole while i'm thinking like these are the dumbest fucking talking points i've ever heard in my life and you're off a gummy who's saying this is this all keemstar this is like keemstar pack god who's like a commentary youtuber froggy fresh is in there not really talking too much. This is like when your mom is mad at the teacher

for something like that you got in trouble for. It's a nightmare blood rotation. It is a nightmare blood rotation. Blood still thinks it's Phoenix and Ray's talking. And at its core, he got kicked off.

Not exactly sure why, but it seems like it's because he made fun of anisa who is who is part of the duo married to idubbs who created this event literally made fun of the creator of this event she's an only fans and he like he kind of like made fun of her a couple times for it he was like if i lose i'll buy her only fans uh he called idubbs a pimp uh implying you know that he's running her onlyFans. And Leafy would never. Again, you might say worse.

Leafy would say that, and then a slur. So these guys are the same. But they kicked him off, and then everyone was mad because they were like, they shouldn't have kicked him off. And it's just fucking dumb. It was brain rot. And then someone was like, make a mogul mail, and I replied. I was like, I think I replied something to the effect of, I've learned nothing from this call.

I messaged Ludwig, and I was like, I think I replied something to the effect of like, I've learned nothing from this call. Yeah. I messaged Ludwig and I was like, I need a mogul mail on this chop chop. I didn't even know what was going on. I was just like interested. And then he's, he just said, no,

I'm like, okay. It's so, it's so useless. And I think at the end of the day, no offense to froggy fresh, but he is a general, he does not have a big impact on the success of this event.

I think the event will be successful without him he might save hip hop he could save hip hop do you care about that? it feels like you don't care about saving hip hop why? because Nick's doing it

I don't need Robin if I got Batman I finally froze on that account I was playing and I got an ace on like round whatever and some guys like, it's been averse. No! After all the battle rap videos you've watched, you couldn't lay one down? I couldn't do it. I had nothing. You gotta retire the account yeah

you're not saving shit I'm not playing on it he hasn't been playing on it that's the thing for the context this is Nick's Valorant account that's named

I will save hip hop hashtag bars I shouldn't have said that I don't get much friend requests well I hey I'm glad you're on the case

I did think it was interesting because I was like I need to know what to think, and I don't want to do literally any work. And that, what I realized, is what Mogul Mail is for. And the similar brain rot evil commentary on YouTube. You're going to recap Creator Clash for me.

I'm barely doing work, guys. You're going to tell me what to think about it. You do more than me. I made a video about the Linus thing. I was just wrong. No. I thought, because I had seen a what to think about it. You do more than me. I made a video about the Linus thing. I was just wrong. No. I thought, because I had seen a couple other videos about it, and I made a video, and I was like, yeah,

I think he got hacked from a phishing scam, because that's how it happened to Atriok, because he fell for the same, he got like the same Tesla. He's like his editor, right? Yeah, and it was like a phishing link. And then Linus was like, no, it was malware, and he like made a whole video about it. And I was just wrong.

And I was like, ah. What are you gonna do? It, no, it was malware. And he made a whole video about it. And I was just wrong. And I was like, ah. What are you going to do? It was close. It was close. Yeah, I mean, same sentiment, you know? Man, which pillar is that? Which pillar did you uphold? Well, OK, look, I do, at the top of all Mogul mails,

have a correction sheet that is updated for every video. So it was already corrected. This video was wrong the whole day people famously open the correction sheet a lot that's all i mean that's as many people as watch the video i feel like doing a correction sheet is above the average commentary youtuber it is and that's what you're kind of going for is right above keemstar i've always said you can report whatever you want as long as you put it in the correction sheet You don't need- it's like- it's like a- Imagine Keemstar's correction sheet and it's- it's just like- it's just really fucking-

Hitler, do things right. I've turned the swastika into a square. Cause I feel like the less offensive shit. We should respect women. Uh, yeah, look, I got a correction sheet. It's like running away from a bear. It's like, I don't got to be the fastest person. I just got to be faster than Keemstar.

Don't speak to that. I just got to be slightly better than him. What's the bear? Is the bear like the evil of what you do in general? Yeah, the bear is the evil of what we do and the people realizing it. And then Keemstar is the slow fat guy. Yeah, he kind of does eat a lot of... It's like that meme of the soldier. And and then Keemstar is the slow, fat guy. Yeah, he kind of does eat a lot of... It's like that meme of the soldier,

and that's Keemstar. Yeah. And then it's me and other commentary YouTubers. Yeah, yeah. Sleeping soundly. Sleeping soundly. Just like, thanks, Keem, for being a piece of shit. Yes.

Honestly, our goat. You make the rest of us look great. Hey, Fudgems. Fudgems works. Hey, Fudgems, listen up. Hey, no, I know it's not your real name, but it's what we call you. Hey, Fudgems. Fudgems works. Hey, Fudgems, listen up. Hey, no, I know it's not your real name, but it's what we call you around here. Fudgems. Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebill, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels

your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Slime, don't you have to pee right now? Yeah, I do. How does it feel inside of you? The pee? Yeah. It feels like when you boil a sausage.

Wow, because I was hoping you'd say it feels like when you throw away your money. Do you throw away your money? Wait, on unwanted subscriptions? It feels like when you throw your money away. Yeah, there you go. There you go, buddy. Yeah, so what Rocket Money helps you do is stop throwing away money. You set me up to do that.

Right. You didn't catch on. I just whiffed. You didn't really think about it. I just didn't even, like, it wasn't even a... Rocket Money wanted you to pull through, which you didn't. So now, pull through. Pull through for that.

Why do you pull through? So how about when you... It feels like a boiled sausage. Can I ask you what verbatim means? Right. What do you think verbatim means? Right. What do you think verbatim means on the screen? When they say verbatim, do you think they want to hear about the sausage? Verbatim is a character in Devil May Cry.

Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash the yard. rocketmoney.com slash the yard. It will feel When you let Not like a sausage There's no sausage There's no sausage

When you cut the board It will feel as if You took a huge piss Thank you for watching Back to the show It's weird that Twitter spaces just tell everyone Dude this happened to me with, so remember when Prezzo

bared all? Yeah. Remember when he showed us all what he had? That night that that happened, his friend Phil, aka Soup Ostrich, was in a Twitter space like, what do we do? One private Crowey tweet just happened.

You saying that. Yeah, right. So it was like, what do we do one private crowey tweet just happened yeah you're saying that yeah right so it was like like what do we do it was like the safe preso round table and i'm like this is interesting i've never joined one of these before and that's why i click on it and then all of a sudden a bunch of people see i'm in it it starts flooding dude and then phil was like oh god oh god oh god i was like ah i got out of there. And then, so you can't, you have to have a burner. You have to have a burner. Because it notifies your followers.

So weird. It's kind of weird. Have you seen the beat off circles? No. I've seen America's Got Moaning Town. Yeah. It's kind of like that. But it's like less of like a competition.

Not hot, like popular. And it's just a circle where everyone is beating at the same time. It's like, really? On Twitter? Is there a virtual like really Is there like one person enabled with speaker permissions that's kind of leading the jar Like it's passed around. Oh Here people beaten and like small little moans. That's gross How do you know about it? Twitter, they're gonna show everyone.

But, like, you must have something to find out. I saw someone I follow joy one. I know it sounds like the most classic lie. You saw someone you follow joy one? I know I'm literally saying a friend of mine. Yeah. So, someone who goes to a school. You followed up to ask what it sounded like too.

I don't remember who it sounded like. But I saw it, I was like, what is it? How long did your friend listen? I don't know, like an indeterminate amount Until you normally do You do get lost in it sometimes It took about like I don't know like three minutes

It then took about three minutes Dude imagine you're in one of those circles and like You're kinda you're beaten off right But then the mic gets passed to you And but like you're not ready to bust But like you don kind of you're beaten off right and but then the mic gets passed to you and but like you're not ready to bust but like you you don't want to like be boring on the mic so you pretend to come so you play it out for the circle imagine yeah like that circle jerks how are we not calling it that oh wow yeah i mean they probably are they are they came up with america's

got moaning yeah that's not as good. I think that's really funny. That's there. So what I'm saying is the talent is there. But yeah, imagine the mic gets passed. You're beaten off quietly, meekly. Or imagine you're not beating off. And they catch you playing Valorant.

And then you're just like, uh. You make beat off sounds. Oh, I love the porn I'm watching. It's so good and good to beat off to. That's one of the weirdest part of streaming, is that like sometimes- Is it when people beat off? No, like sometimes there's like a streamer's discord and they have like a porn channel. Oh, I hate that shit.

That's just like a- like some small streamers just like they just got it and it's like why? Like NSFW or like- Why are you trying to group find porn? They're like, I can't keep all the people who post porn out, so I made a channel for him Yeah, yeah, you can Want to be inclusive so I made like also Some people they asked for the minecraft server some people asked for the fucking you know the the valor channel And some people ask for the porches. I really like loader community. I wish there was someone in there to porn out with

I really like Ludwig's community. I wish there was someone in there to porn out with There's got so many good links. Did you join it? We join one of our calls and the person lives just streaming porn everyone's beating Jesus fuck dude. Yeah, it's like Jans beating his dick. Oh wait no I meant the Yard Surfer Stop picking people you work with You are, yeah, I'm being bad. What are you talking about? You can't let go of the crack pipe. Oh, it's mine. I like it. You did lose it. Give it to him.

You already made Yan see your asshole get waxed. I didn't make him do anything. So Yan wearing a banana phone. I'm gonna get a crack pipe. I have the crack pipe. I have the crack pipe. I have the crack pipe. It's not speaking sick.

You know what? I've decided it's okay to disrespect Yann because yesterday he woke up at 7 p.m. Yeah, he did do that. Why is that okay to disrespect him? You're allowed to sexually harass coworkers that wake up past 7 p.m. That's what I've been saying.

You're not allowed to sexually harass anybody. You know what? You're a good-ass CEO. You're still in trouble you know what I fucking vibe with you I'm just saying you're fucking you should make an energy drink you think Nate is sitting there in the fucking

round table and he's like it's fucked up like if you wake up at 7 p.m. it's not cool to harass you and then they all started, clapping at 100 things. Why is your nade voice so rizz-ful? I don't know. Because he's, I don't know. He doesn't sound like that at all.

It's hard to do a nade. Was anyone in the room like, it's the jail where kids go? Did anyone say that in the room? He was, like, based. Yeah, I like it. I think that's part of it. It's, like, rebellious and sick. It's from, I like it. I think that's part of it. It's like rebellious sick. It's from Rejuvenate.

No. That's what they said. Dude, this has to have come up. They could be lying. That makes sense though. It's an energy drink. He spent his whole life working on this.

You think he didn't think about that? He spent his whole life. When he was in jail. He was dreaming. He was behind bars. It was his dream. He was bragging too hard

and Cod. And he was like, I can change the world with a drink. He won COD XP and got a felony. Maybe we should get, what about a Mogul Moves beverage? What beverage would we do? Energy drink. Do you know that?

Let's come with the king. No. No? Yeah, that's a bad idea. Pussy boy? Your idea was literally talking about something and then being like, oh, I don't know, the one thing we were just talking about? Can't come up with a better fucking beverage? Do you know that Nadeshot is an X Games gold medalist?

I do know that. Does Slime know that? Is it in video games? But it's the same gold medal that they all get. He's not randomly good at, like, fucking snowboarding or some shit. He's, like, snowboarding gold and being Sean White sean white what if i told you it was the winner x games to be fair that'd be super cool i would i would sign up for the hundred thieves so wait he has a gold medal it's kind of like how zeke has a golden guardians fucking uh golden state

warriors actually is exactly like that except zeke didn didn't win anything. So it's different. My God. Yeah, he earned it. I mean, soon you're going to get an Olympic medal for gaming. Oh, yeah, the Olympics has fucking virtual games, right? Yeah. But they're cringe as shit. Didn't they make, like, mobile games to openly compete in or something?

Like, they're making sports games. They'll have anti-cheat. Well, I think it's in person, presumably. I don't know how the qualifiers work. The qualifiers could have cheaters, but presumably the actual competition will be in person so that you can't cheat. Bro, in 2017, 2016, I was the best at Facebook Messenger basketball in the world. No. Yes. Wrong.

I'm just saying. Same time I was the best at Pac-Man for Facebook Messenger. Two-time Cal Poly champ. Yeah time I was the best at Pac-Man for Facebook Messenger. I was literally. Two-time Cal Poly champ. Yeah, I was fucking people up on that. If they bring it back, I might have to quit this shit and become an athlete. What game could you get pro at? That game.

That's the game? Facebook Messenger basketball from 2016. Nate. Stop talking to me. Nate, I got a knee spore for you. Sit down. You're going to want to. Your knees are going to get all shaky. Take the crack pipe out of your mouth. When you present. I'm talking to me Nate I got an e-sport for you sit down you're gonna want to your knees are gonna get all shaky take the crack pipe out of your mouth

when you present I'm talking to Nate you want the crack pipe Nate I got flavor for your fucking pussy boy drink you just gotta stop using pussy boy casually

you gotta stop using pussy boy casually I don't you're running into wait hold on really you don't dude you filled the you filled the crack pipe I don't- You're running it into the ground? Wait, hold on. Really, you don't. Dude. You filled the crack pipe with juvie?

Don't suck it, it's got like dirt in it and shit. Remember when I breathed it in and I coughed a bunch? Yeah, but you got all it out. Suck it. So suck it out. Suck it out. Nate. Nate, what are you doing to the fucking kids, Nate?

What? I'm not doing anything with the kids. Yeah, what are you not doing anything with the kids to be clear oh it's a clean oh yeah it's a clean mission yeah we're clean that pipe out it burns huh that's good that's good make sure to swallow though make sure to swallow buddy small juvie on the grass

mm-hmm no sticky swallow your mouth you already got the journal if you don't swallow swallow it this Swallow it. This is what Nadeshot's dream was. He would fucking cry if you spit it out. It was his dream. His dream wasn't for people to spit. It was his dream for you to suck juvie out of a cracker.

He wants to swallow it. Yeah. There you go. It tastes like medicine. There you go. There you go. I'll get a cameo of him saying I'm proud of you. That was horrible.

That's, well, you'll be up for 70 hours now. I didn't like that. Now who broke edge? There was a solid in there. Oh, really? Yeah. That's why I didn't like it. Oh.

That'll happen. Dude, yesterday, randomly, out of nowhere, if you guys remember, I did the acapella performance at QD's winter thing. Remember that? It was an acapella. With 3Ls and a W. Yeah, it was. The one that I did with the acapella performance at cuties winter thing remember that it was a w yeah it was the one that i did with the the the acapella performance with wendy and leslie oh right

yeah that's cool they uh wendy hits us up randomly this week she's like let's get together and write a song and i'm like i've never done this uh but i was like yeah sure i'll probably be like some stream thing whatever and uh and I was already downtown anyway, because I was going to a Lakers game with Mango. So I go, I show up. And then it's just, it's nope. It's just a full on songwriting session. And I'm sitting there.

What did you expect? I don't know. But I was like, I don't feel like I can provide value in this group. Because we have Lily Pichu, who writes a bunch of songs. Wendy, who writes a bunch of songs. Fuseli, who's there, just taking up oxygen like I am. And then we're all supposed to come up with a song and I'm just sitting there. And then at one point we're like, all right, let's go off and like write a lyric and come

back. And everyone wrote like a lyric and it's like, you know, some are like kind of generic, but like make sense. And they're like, what would you write? And my lyric was, uh, was, uh, uh, I'm driving on the 60 last night I hit the gritty and that's all I came up with that's bars and it turns out it wasn't usable

no I think Tupac said that you're kidding me it could be a Tupac bar and it's fucking hard to write songs hold on was this like streamed no it was offline it was just to have like to come up with a song

and release it, I think. And they just like, they hit you up. Well, I'm part of the three L's and a W. Yeah, I'm one of the L's. Oh, okay. So they're kind of like

writing that wave. They want to do like a group together song. Yeah, okay. What if next week we all came back and we commissioned someone to write a song

and then we all have to come back and present our song? I think we should write a song and then commission someone to play a song and then we all have to come back and present our song i think that's just hiring you to write a song and then commission someone to play the song yeah what is that not what i that's what i meant more i thought you were saying someone writes it no no what it sounded is that what if we all go out and hire someone individually and then return with what we've found no i'm saying we all write a song yeah and but we don't know how to really make music so we get someone who doesn't know how to make music and force them to make our song.

I think we should write, perform, record, and play a one-minute song. One minute? Yeah. Wow. We once were going to make t-shirts for each other and it never happened. That is true.

So I don't know what kind of crack you guys are smoking. But we don't have follow-through. We know. He has fucking... Look at Amen. You don't have what kind of crack you guys are smoking. But we don't have follow through. We know. He has fucking, look at Eamon. You don't have your tooth. I'll never forget. What did you say? He said, we know.

I'm really forgetting. Oh, no. I was talking because you said what kind of crack we're smoking. Oh. Oh. I was like, I forgot. You're like, we know. No.

I was talking about the crack. That was straight. Zipper, by the way can you bring up that image that I sent you I for a long time our friend Yan

I didn't meet him in real life for like a year a year and change this was his profile picture on discord I thought he was

bald right for like because I didn't know like it's just me too king it's just like a guy right's just me too king it's just like a guy right is that me too king with yin on top of his face oh is it yeah that's mark rutsu

so yeah i i didn't know i thought this is what yand looked like looked like which was just him but with a bald head and like aging hair i don't like seeing it this large i met him in real life he had full hair and i was like, what the fuck is going on? I was so surprised. I do think that is the best way if you ever want to find out what you look like bald is put your face into Mew2Kings because the same thing happened to me. Can you look up Ludwig

Mew2King in Google Images? Is that going to do it? Yeah. Wow. Is he just the template? I'm excited to see this. He's the template. He's the template for what you look like bald and honestly I'm going to see this. He's the template. He's the template for what you look like bald. And honestly, I'm going to say it. I don't look bad. I'll let you be the judge.

Oh, my God. You look like you smell car seats for money. Wow. First of all, good job. Dude, no. This is the guy in Hard Candy. This is the pedophile in Hard Candy. It's Hard Candy.

Why am I a pedophile? Jesus. Because that's what the movie is about. Yeah, okay. pedophile? Jesus. Because that's what the movie is about. Yeah, okay. Fucking pedophile. I'm not asking what the movie's about. I'm asking why you relate me to a pedophile. It's a movie where Elliot Page gets revenge on a pedophile.

It's one of my favorite movies. I'm not that. Patrick Wilson. See? No, I don't look like Patrick Wilson. That character looks like you. You guys are being assholes. Click on him.

Okay. Slime, slime, slime. Do me a favor. Say, hey, you look like Patrick Wilson. No, okay. You guys are being out of style. So, click on him. Okay. Slime, slime, slime, slime. Do me a favor. Say, hey, you look like Patrick Wilson. No, okay. Not, hey, you look like a pedophile, right? You look like the pedophile in Hard Candy! No, no, no!

I just look like Patrick Wilson! No, no, because they made him look like that for the pedophile thing. That's what I'm saying! No, no, no! Look up Patrick Wilson normally. There's probably not a big difference between Patrick Wilson- Can you look up Patrick Wilson- You think Patrick Wilson-

You think Patrick Wilson- You think Patrick Wilson- You think Patrick Wilson- You think Patrick Wilson- You think Patrick Wilson- Intentionally looks like a pedophile. You think Patrick Wilson- You think Patrick Wilson-

You think Patrick Wilson- You think Patrick Wilson- Intentionally looks like a pedophile. I don't think they put Patrick Wilson in the makeup chair and they said, mmm, give him a bit of zhuzh so he looks more pedophilic. The movie is about getting rich and trying to be a pedophile! A makeup artist on the set of that movie! Patrick Wilson is not a pedophile! He looks great there!

That's what that looks like! I'm saying that's what that picture looks like! He doesn't look like a pedophile at all! That's ind- Right. You would say that. Yeah, and he's not in the movie there. What I'm saying is...

You don't look like him. You look like him in Hard Candy. Pedophile is not a look, by the way. You don't look like a pedophile. Oh, pedophile is a look. I feel like what we just... Listen, okay. I'm a director.

I want to make a movie where a younger person gets revenge on a person that is being a predator, right? Yeah. Right. And that predator is a pedophile, right? Yeah, it's a pedophile predator. An optic predator. And I'm directing, and I am the person that makes all the decisions.

He has a nice game battle. That makes them look like, that the audience says, okay, yeah, that's definitely. We're going to need a method act for this one. You know? What was his name? Patrick Wilson. Patrick Wilson. So what am I going to do?

You just get a guy. Just pick a random. You just get a guy. You just get a guy. There's only like a look. You're saying like there's a look, like pedophiles. I would hire a guy that looks like you on Mutigate's face. I would hire that guy. Can you show us three random felons, one that's a pedophile,

and we can see if we can identify them from their look. Yeah. And that will prove you right or wrong. Yeah. I would like this. I would like this experiment. Let's do it. What you're going to do is you're going to find convicted pedophile mugshot and then convicted other arsonist. I don't care.

And then just look up random guy and make them all balding so it's harder. Bald criminals. I feel like I actually think you are the most, I don't know what the word is. Racist against your own. Yeah.

How dare you? Well, first of all, you talk a lot of shit on Italians. Yeah. So you are. But second, I was referring to bald,

but I love them because they're my own. I don't love them. I went to Starbucks today and they were like, like hey you want to try your new coffee? It has olive oil. No I Whoever decided this shit get away from me. Yeah, they like got little tasting stations and shit. Oh my god Starbucks stop It's got olive oil in it. It's like there. It's like it's like it's oh, oh Would you like to feel this drink in your throat all day? It is thicker. It's thicker. Did you? What's up, did you try it it was yeah, I tried it was caked on my throat thicker

I don't I didn't I wouldn't I didn't wasn't brave enough. Oh I don't I I wouldn't I didn't wasn't brave enough. Oh Pussy boy. Yeah, I guess I am hey because I go to the coffee in the morning. Oh, you don't like anymore Don't say it like soft like you're gonna say knock it off say knock it off Somebody's gonna talk to you about this You're a problem Amy pulls Ludwig inside you're the CEO David Schwimmer Claus doesn't apply to you problem. David pulls Ludwig aside. You're the CEO. David Schwimmer Claus doesn't apply to you. So

I can't say you're a pussy boy but you can still call me a pussy boy. Unless you start paying me fucking big dollars. Or I cut my pay. If I cut my pay I can harass you. No because it's about status not pay. Really? Really? So I can't do like the Steve Jobs thing where I pay myself a dollar and then call you a slur? No because you're still making all the money. We all know

it's a facade. Damn it. And the David Schwimmer Claus accounts for that. No no no there's no facades. Fore still making all the money. We all know it's a facade. Damn it. And the David Schwimmer clause accounts for that. No, no, no. There's no facades. Forensic accounting, the money just goes into the account. You can find it. You said fa-san? Yeah. I love his streams.

Streams. So what I'm saying is you pay me a lot of money. I can call you pussy boy. I'm out. Wait, so both of that's bad. You can pay me a lot of money. I can call you pussy boy is what you said. None of that's what I want. P pussy boy. I'm out. Wait, so both of that's bad. You can pay me a lot of money. I can call you pussy boy is what you said. None of that's what I want. Pussy boy.

I was at the Old Smith's yesterday and the after party had started and they were selling drinks and he came up to me and he's like how much to break edge? How much do I have to give you to break edge? And I was thinking about the number and he was like a million and I'm like no, of course not. It's not that high. And I was like 50k.

And I'm like what's the rule? He's like you have to get drunk. gonna get drunk i'm gonna get 50k give me 50k i'll get drunk right now and he's like alpharad come over here he brings over alpharad he's like give him 50k to get drugged and alpharad looks at me he's like i don't care about this i'm not invested in whatever is happening or no wait would you be 50k yeah well from from deeper for me, but I know that's a homie You guys pull it the fuck with me. I'm not with it. Why? Our price is different. I wanted to hurt neighbors bank account. I want both so it's it So it's a it's a thing that you need to exchange pain. Yeah, of course yeah interest so what's our choice? our price

I'll just say I don't know, man. I got to think about it. Think of your price. Think of your price. You've got to be careful with this right now. What's the number? Because you guys will just do it. We won't necessarily do it.

We won't necessarily do it. And you'll drink for the first time, and you'll be fun. Come on. To be fair, I wouldn't. You don't mean that. Let's say, let's change the rules up a bit. It's not an alcohol edge break. We make you crack.

I cut you to gummies. You do know you do crack. Would you do crack? How much would you do crack for? Crack. $10 million? I wouldn't do crack. Why?

You're not going to do crack for $10 million. Why? $10 million? You literally live in LA and you don't want to do crack for $10 million. You're not going to die. I'm not going to do crack. For $10 million, you live in LA, you won't do it. Why wouldn't you do it?

Because my mom watches the podcast. She'll do crack with you. Let's say your mom never finds out. If you guys can get my mom to do crack with me I'll do crack. Really? For no money? For no money. Just as a spiritual journey. It's like rum

springa for the Amish but for dudes from California. I don't know. What was he going to say? You guys don't know that California. I don't know. What was he to say? You guys don't know that? No, I don't know. Rospringa. I'll tell you. I was right.

Don't do that accent. The Amish do a thing where they send them out into the world, and they do a bunch of crack, and they fuck prostitutes, and they kill people, and then if they decide to come back to the Amish life, it means they were truly meant for it. And if they decide to never come back. First of all they don't kill people. Prove it. Literally prove it. That is not how proving things works. It's just called negative bro.

But yeah this is the thing. So this is like your rumspringa but for dudes from SoCal. What are we trying to say? Rumsprings? Rum. Rum Springer. Have you fixed your talk? First of all, this is so racist.

What's racist? You can't say this word. He's ESL. You can't say. You are ESL. I'm ESL. So it's racist. You're a racist person.

Because I'm actually not Anglo-Saxon. I'm goal. The original French. Yeah. You inverse in general. Gol. You guys seen the movie Gol? Your mom's Spanish. Well. Zipper, do we have those pictures?

Do you guys think... Oh my god, I'm already mad. Wow, that was visceral. Why are you mad? Why are you mad? Do you guys shave your balls in the shower? I wish they would create a Manscaped product for your head. I shave my balls in the toilet.

I shave my balls in the toilet. Anyway, Manscaped is a shower. You're going to clog your jam. You're going to shower. No, because Manscaped makes waterproof lawnmowers. It's true. The lawnmower is waterproof. It's very tight.

I like how they call it the lawnmower, just implying that you got a fucking bush of just shit to choose what i was gonna ask what is the house yo okay i thought of a genius content idea okay so manscape is a sponsor of today's episode yeah and then you know how on tiktok there's this guy who goes around and he mows people's lawn for free i'll shade your bush for this video are you doing this to spite nick right now no i think this is a great idea i'm so tilted wait why i just think if i use the manscape performance package for i could get your bush just trimmed up they got lawnmower in there they got the weed whacker they got the crop crop preserver. They got the crop reviver. But is there a manscape product only for clowns? My question to you, do clowns shave their balls?

I think so. Professional clowns that work in the circus and carnivals. So you're talking about like red light district clowns? No, I'm talking about clowns that don't have to take to the streets. Why is there a crop reviver? Why would you want to revive a crop? Because some like it hot. What? Crops are where food is

grown. Oh, I was thinking of weeds. I was stuck on weeds. So you're obviously not a farmer. You're a real farmer. Let me tell you where you can go. You're going to want to go to manscaped.com and put the yard 20 as your promo code. This wasn't a good ad read, but what you guys got to know is that Manscaped just helps you shave downstairs.

It's nice because it never cuts my balls. It actually does my balls. They made a product specifically for it. Here's a product that I actually use. It works well. That I actually use every week. And it's great. It works well.

If you want to get it, it'd make us look good. Use the code the Yard 20. And hopefully they don't watch it so they don't judge us. But they see the sales and they're like, you did great. Why is your stumble hopefully they don't watch it so they don't judge us but they see the sales and they're like, you did great. Why is your symbol? You don't think I use it every week?

No, I don't. Do you not think this looks pristine? He's going to talk about clowns. He'll talk about clowns again. I wasn't going to talk about clowns. Okay. I feel like I want to. Yeah, no, talk about what you want to talk about.

Hey, Manscaped.com, TheYard20 is the code. TheYard20 is the code but more importantly, you should be asking around and you should be asking your local clowns. Yeah, I don't know. If you see a clown, kill them. I don't care. Back to TheYard 20 is the code, but more importantly, you should be asking around. And you should be asking your local clowns. Yeah, I don't know. If you see a clown, kill them.

I don't care. Back to the Yard, the regular show. Can I ask you guys a question? Do you think I'm mother? What does that mean? Oh my god, I have to leak. You remind me. I'm changing the subject.

Wait, just answer the question. It's a quick question. You said you were cringe. Wait, we'll get to that in wait a second what is mother and why are you laughing so hard? It's like what Stan say about like it's like she's mother and culture like she's a mother I think it's a teenage girls call like I don't know say somebody's mother and Taylor Trying to opt into it. Taylor Swift is mother.

Taylor Swift could be mother. No, you're not fucking mother. I think of the four of us, if anyone is mother, it's me. No, no mother walks around going, pussy boy. That's not a motherly thing to do. You didn't grow up in an Italian house, by the way. I think if anyone's anyone's mother It's Aiden

Is Aiden mother? Aiden's mother Cause he's the most standable Cause he says the least Aiden looks the hottest I mean this is This is co-opted from gay culture Which is typically co-opted from black culture

Which everything is So My guess is That I am mother. Why? Because you think you're the closest to black? I think I'm the closest to a gay black man. Well, hold on.

There is an answer here. One of us is the closest. No, we should keep going down this road right now. It's just facts. Yeah. It's just facts. No, I like co-opting. I'm deciding who's co-opting the most.

Pass me the shovel. I'll keep digging. Where's the crack pipe? Oh, it's right here. You know what who's co-opting the most. Pass me the shovel. I'll keep the... Where's the crack pipe? Oh, it's right here. You know what? Do you know about this? Do you know all the...

I know you know about this. What? There's still a little juvie in there if you want to finish it off. You saw us all hanging out in the call, in the call 20 people deep, cracking cases last night. Yeah, I saw you guys cracking cases.

Cracking cases. I would love it if we can jump in, though. And the boys ran hot. Mm-hmm. There was a lot of good cracks at the table. Uh-huh. Yeah, a lot of we can jump in though. And the boys ran hot. There was a lot of good cracks at the table. Uh-huh. Yeah. Two gloves and a knife. Obscene. Yeah. And you two, you two were posting about what happened. Kyle probably cracked one on a stream deck, which is really funny. On his first case on steam deck ever, cracked a knife. And all of these

things are getting posted on Twitter. And me and shake are down abysmal we opened probably a hundred fifty cases each and got literally nothing yes this is fine this is cs2 comes out and you guys is lying 14 grand knife and then cracking cases after is you know it is its mother stop talking what you just learned oh you guys probably collectively spent- Wait, wait, wait, you know what it is? It's mother. Stop talking. What, you just learned a- anyway. But, I think it is! You guys probably collectively spent like what? 4k? 5k?

No, no, no, no, no. Not even close, dude. We totally spent under a thousand dollars. That was like in The Sopranos when someone says something way out of pocket. Whoa! Hey! Whoa! That's my fucking daughter!

I spent the most, I spent the most, so I spent like $350. I assume everyone spent year level and there was 20 people. I was like 250. He was like, I don't like 200 or something. There's no way this is under a thousand then. But I don't know if you guys knew this. We're the highest rollers.

The next day, Hassan on stream, he's, you know, he's doing his politics thing, whatever. And then he mentions at the end that he cracked a few cases okay he spent some time on csgo and got nothing and it made him sad and he cracked because you guys and all your friends were so

excited on the timeline he's like maybe i should crack let's get him in this car this is terrible because this probably happens to regular people too yeah Yeah. So you guys just basically convinced a cohort to be able to win. Yeah, we can win. That's true. We won. Keep going. Hey. Get it twisted. Trainwrecks? I mean that's what- Trainwrecks. He cracked six. But that- it is funny that Hasan was the one affected by it because I think he's still he's like this this like i don't know outside it's like orbital thing that it's like okay what we do and say doesn't affect his song because he's so big right but it's just us cracking and he's like oh that was kind of fun and that looks fun and i think that's really funny but you're right some people probably did fire up csgo that are normal

people we inflated the price of the Revolution case. Yeah. When we started buying the case that day, it was $2.48. And when we were... I checked the next day and the case was $3.08.

We didn't... Do we really move the needle? In the hour we cracked it went up 10 cents. We moved it up 15 cents. It's a market. So it's like it'll be sold at $2.50,

and if you buy up the $2.50 ones, then it'll be the next person who sold it, and they get to list their price. It's like Grand Exchange and RuneScape. We could totally manipulate the Steam market. We could 100% manipulate the market in Steam, like without even a sweat. You guys want to change the price of the clutch case right now?

Is that a real question? The clutch case? Are you actually curious if it's wrong? It's 40 cents. Yeah. We could have a big impact on it. It probably, it isn't so old,

there's probably too many. It's like, Everyone go buy the clutch case and then sell it for a dollar. First of all, no one do this. Is this legal? No, definitely not.

I feel like the FCC has laws against this. There's no chance the SEC regulates the price of skin cases on CES or so. But that's the question. Do they? Can you? Make an animation where all our fans go buy clutch cases and inflate the price of all. Here's the thing about crimes.

Right? And here's the thing about laws. Sometimes you are like, a little laws and crimes. Right. Yeah. I love the fun voice. Sometimes when you are specifically trying to do a rug pull and specifically uh trying to do a rug pull and talking about how to do a rug pull and in in in in trying to get a group of people to do it

even if it's in a game that's not regulated video you can still get charged for it oh you can get charged in hindsight and Yeah. You're gonna send the way ambulance to pick me up. You're gonna be, no, it won't be an ambulance. French cries. I actually was scared about this. I was scared about this because I made a joke about insider trading CSGO skins that are Discord in the yard, like podcast Discord. Yeah, they would also get a subpoena. They would read all that shit.

And I was like, you know what? I don't know if this is actually a thing and I'm going to delete this message. Do you think skins, I guess skins were the first NFTs. It's just, it's any market you are not allowed to pump and dump.

Right? But you could probably get away with it, maybe. Elizabeth Warren gets away with it. What? Elizabeth Warren, mother. She gets away. Is she mother for that shit? Elizabeth Warren gets away with it. What? Elizabeth Warren. Mother. She gets away with it. Is she mother for that shit? She's not pumping and dumping. No, but she just does insider trading.

Yeah, sure. Nancy Pelosi is mother. Oh, yeah, she's mother. It's Nancy. It's not Elizabeth Warren. Elizabeth Warren might be insider trading, but Nancy Pelosi definitely is. I literally mixed them up.

It's like iDubbbz and Leafy. The same shit. Can I try them other things? Well, it's kind of racist because one's native, one's white, but... Christy Carlson Romano, his mother. You're right.

I don't know. She's like the Disney actor? Yeah. Even Stevens? Ren. Yeah. I don't know if I buy... You don't think she's mother?

I don't... No, I think... Christy Carlson Romano, you are my mother now. You can't... You don't say it like that. You can't swap between... You are now she's mother. I don't know I think mother is mother. You are my mother now. You can't! You don't say it like that. You are now my biological mother. You can't swap between us.

Let's go around, everybody pick a mother. Chris, you go with Romano. Wait, what? Why are you freaking out? I don't know. I don't know. Strawberry Shortcake. Strawberry Shortcake is mother. You know what Dawson's been calling everyone on the call? He would call us fudgems.

Fudgems? Fudgems. I don't like that. It's mean. He's like, what do you say fudgems? Yeah, it's also mean when he calls me butterball. He calls me butterball? I don't talk for the rest of the night.

He goes, what do you say butterball? That's just bullying. I know. And I just gotta put up with it. Yeah. Oh, fucking Butterball's talking right now. Oh, Butterball's talking. Who's your mother?

Who's one mother? Who's one mother? One mother. You don't get two mother. Well. You get one mother. Progressive. And this, you get one mother.

Aiden has two mother. I'm trying to think. That's fucked. Dude. That's fucked. What? That's fucked up. Oh, has fucked. What? That's fucked up! Oh, has time not healed that wound?

You said has. Yeah. Corwin. He's a mother. Corwin is mother. Who's your fucking mother? I'm thinking goddamn you! You're the one who brought it up. You had like eight before and now you can't even think of one?

Skip. No. No, skip. Can it be a fictional person? No. It? No, no, it's back to it. It'd be a fictional person no Yes, mother is kind of mother It's a classic case of can't think of one woman by the way yeah name one woman name a woman you misogynist name one woman I Got your mother right here Margaret Thatcher

You go name a woman name one woman. I've got your mother right here. Margaret Thatcher. You go. Name a woman. Name a woman. We're going to sit in silence until you name a woman. No. Name a woman. Because.

You can't do this. I can. You can't do this. I'm just trying to think of a funny answer. Give me a woman. Oh, you think that women. That is the worst answer. You didn't even pick a funny answer. Answer give me a woman For five minutes again, we're actually thinking of a guy come on

Donald Trump. Hey! Wow. Do the smush phone. Mother? Who's mother? Who's mother for you? Taylor Swift.

Oh my God. Taylor Swift is mother. Somehow more lame than what I said. She's mother, sorry. Or Selena. What was your favorite five songs? What was? Taylor Swift. Huh?

Favorite five songs. Love Story. And then there's TikTok don't help him it's Kesha way funnier than that is you thinking TikTok is a Taylor Swift song I can't believe that she sings about cheerleaders

and fucking going to school Country Blues 2002 I don't believe this Country Blues, 2002. These are made up. There's no way. I don't believe this. Country Blues. Pom Poms. Really funny. Driving.

The road. Zipper, you got the pictures? Yeah, what were we doing again? Okay, so here's the challenge. Here's the challenge. You guys said it's so easy. We have to vote on our phones. We can't talk.

No, you can. We'll just say it on three. What? We'll say it on three. But obviously one of us might get it. No, we'll just say it on three what we'll say it on three but obviously one of us might get it no we'll just say it on three anyways what we're doing here if you're an audio listener is we're pulling up if you skipped half of the episode pictures of uh criminals and one is a pedophile criminals because you said pedophiles are so easy to spot so here's criminal number one and it's very simple yes Yes. No are they a pedophile?

Yes, no is this person a convicted pedophile? Okay, all right, so that's that's one soak it in two Soak in one This is really hard Definitely we're looking at mugshot of of a guy with a Fu Manchu. Number three. Number three. Number three.

All right. Oh, wow. That looks like fade shot. This is if he never cheated. He's got a bronze. That's bronze medal. He's got a bronze medal. It's like one of the wonderful life if he dies and sees his life without Judy.

Alright, alright, so now you've seen all three, so I want you all- Me with double XP weak events. I want you all to have a hand sign with the number, and then I want you to throw it up on the count of three. Alright, so keep the hand sign, keep the hand sign. Alright, I'll also play along here. I'm soaking it in.

Alright. Ready? sign all right also play along here looking in all right ready mmm it's a poker clock bro times up all right I got it three two one show okay we have all threes from the guys and I went one you thought it's this college looking guy yeah I think it's I thought he was I thought he was there college looking guy say that what is I don't think looks like a pedophile I want one I think he looks like like Brock Turner. I think he looks like Brock Turner, and you got arrested Okay, can you all right? Who is it? Show us the picture of the person? none of

Jokes now Why did Zipper do that? None of them were... Why is Zipper making jokes now? He said none of them were actually convicted pedophiles, and so you all are dumb. You also were dumb. Because we're coming into the game with the knowledge that one of them is. No, because I said that you can't put pedophiles on a look. No, but you know why it was so hard for me? Because I didn't think anyone looked like pedophiles. You didn't say that.

I don't think I had to. Wow. I still believe that number three is a pedophile. Yeah, I think we may be. First of all, that's how Republicans operate. I'm pissed. We need to prove our point.

So you got to relax off that. That's a good point. Anyway. They do just throw it around, huh? Yeah, they just throw it around. They'll just say whatever. Yeah. That's crazy shit. They just, Tom H around, huh? Yeah, they just throw it around. They'll just say whatever. Yeah. That's crazy shit.

They just, Tom Hanks, pedophile. Cut, print. If you ask a Republican, 100%. That's a mobile research fact. That's a research, that's in the fact correction. Did you guys ever, I was talking to Rad Sads at his birthday party, and he was telling me that when he learned how to piss in the toilet his parents would put cheerios in the water and he would aim to get the cheerios with his

penis stream with his with his urine and i was wondering have you guys you sound like this never happened to you push around too much you gotta like keep on it right but like is it it would eventually make you piss on the side yeah and the goal is to piss always in the in the center Well actually the goal is to piss in the toilet Well actually, let's back up here because I think there's a little bit of math in this Where are you guys aiming when you're peeing standing up? When you pee standing up? As an adult or as a kid? As an adult, like as an adult, four of you

I'm not deaf, furious question It is not, it's general I'm not gonna give you time of day it i'm not that serious question it is not it's general it's i'm not gonna give you time of day if there's people are up and or people are sleeping i'm pissing on the side you're pissing on the side if it's 2 a.m you're pissing in the silent zone so it also doesn't consider other people's feelings so he's not we both sit down i know but we're imagining a world where we're standing i think sitting down and peeing is optimal but we're imagining a world where we stand sometimes i stand it's happened are you aiming is optimal, but we're imagining a world where we stand. Sometimes I stand. It's happened.

Are you aiming when you pee when you sit down? No, you just sit. So obviously we're not asking that fucking question, right? I haven't stood. No, but that's what I'm saying. I don't have to. Let's back it up. I don't even have to consider this conundrum. You've done it before.

You have a toilet bowl. Zipper can't pull up a picture of a toilet bowl. And you're telling me in the daytime hours, what are you doing? Daytime. It's 3 p.m. Pacific. I think I'm trying my hardest to hit dead center. You're hitting dead center. would used to do this thing where I try to make the most bubbles with my piss

In the corners or no, it's dead dead center, but you're forcing it out to like I yeah I'm like pushing hard with my kegel and pissing at full power She's in the middle of like the stream till I get it to like some And pissing at full power. To the middle of the stream to get it to submerge. Are you guys lifting the toilet seat? Yes. Are you lifting the toilet seat?

Yeah, or not. I don't care. Are you lifting the toilet seat at home? If I'm at home, yes. If I'm in public, probably not. You lift the toilet seat at home? Yeah, I don't want to piss in the toilet seat. Wait, no.

Obviously, I mean the second seat, right? Yeah. Yes. Yes, lovely. The second Yes. Yes, lovely. The second one. Dude, that's a tiny little poop hole. I don't want to have to clean piss off the toilet seat. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

I just live with women. You know what I don't do is I don't leave it down. You just leave it up all the time. Because I couldn't name a woman. So you think I'm going to fucking... Yeah, that's true. When you leave it up sometimes, do you shit with it up? No, I've never fallen in. But no, not fall in, but like still sit on the. Yeah, that's true. When you leave it up sometimes, do you shit with it up? No, I've never fallen in.

But no, not fall in, but like still sit on the porcelain. I know, it's gross. I used to do that. No way. I just sit on the porcelain. Really? I just sit on the porcelain. Wait, why?

Me, I would sit on the porcelain because it was up. Why do you keep sitting in that way? Are you being real? Because I lived in a house. It was roommates. It was college. And they always kept the toilet seat up. And the toilet seat, I would always

wipe down, but it was just like, it was just a pain to keep putting it down. It wasn't a pain. So there's the lid, then there's the seat, then there's the porcelain. And you would lift the seat and seal it. Is it not gross? No. It's porcelain.

Yeah, but that's where the piss lands. I have never lived in a house with college roommates where the porcelain. Yeah, but that's where the piss lands. I have never lived in a house with college roommates where the porcelain was clean. The porcelain was spotty. I could eat off the porcelain. That's not it. You're being outrageous. If the porcelain was clean, would you feel fine sitting on it?

No, because it's so wide that you fall in. Because there's a seat. It's cold. No, it was cold. I'll tell you that. It was cold. But my wide ass made it a comfortable seat. I would never fall in.

But why not just put the seat down? It takes literally less than one second. I didn't want to do it. Why? Tell me why. It was a lot of work. I didn't want to do it. It wasn't a lot of work.

I had to do it every time. I didn't want to do it. When I was a kid, I had... I don't know why I did this. It was pretty young, but too old probably. Maybe like five or six. I used to go in the bathroom and pee in the trash can What?

Doing it was like six why? Would your mom say she hated it? So mad and why you just didn't stop doing it until I was like six why didn't you stop doing what she told you? No, I don't know six. Why why was the toilet next to it right? I don't know this is like picking Falco and are you standing when you're peeing in the toilet or the trash can yeah? You're missing a lot. I'm missing a lot of the trash can it's a smaller hole Yeah, maybe that was a challenge. I don't know and it's my bag in it. Uh no yeah There's a plastic bag in it, so it's just like getting soaked

Is that what we used to we used to run our our bathroom trash cans with like grocery bags? Yeah? Is it ever leaking through? Absolutely Do a lot of the aftermath of the track how many times did you do this I? Was sick, so I don't have a core memory what I'm saying is like was this like a couple more than a handful Is this like a couple times? More than a handful. More than a handful?

You're pissing into a trash can? Yeah. I think I used to do it sleepwalking, and then I think it turned into a non-sleepwalking thing. Or it was the other way around. I don't remember which one. I think it's crazy. I think it's crazy not to do it once. I can call my mom and ask her what the real story was.

That's right. I'll ask her. We'll talk to her later. We will talk to her later. Yeah, we'll talk to her later. We will talk to her later. Me and Ludwig and Aiden, when we all go... We do crack. I won't be there.

We do crack together. I don't have a problem with the joke. You'd rather us do crack with your mom and not have sex with your mom. That's kind of weird. She's listening, so... Well, I know. I'm saying both are weird, but I think it's worse if she has a crack addiction, like,

respectfully. You're being an asshole to your mom right now. I think a crack addiction is better than sex with slime. For my mom. Really? Yeah. You double down that? Like, you're 100%.

Yeah, I'm on my KFC. I'll give you a shot. Like, this is deal or no deal. Like, final answer. I think if my mom had a crack addiction, I could undo that trauma faster. I could fix her. I could fix her crack addiction. There or no deal. I think if my mom had a crack addiction, I could undo that trauma faster. I could fix her. I could fix her crack addiction. There's no trauma.

Where's the trauma? Are you fucking kidding me? I guess I just don't understand. I feel like today... Not a bit we're doing. We're not exploring this one. I'm just saying I feel like today, your job is to be hurtful to me. You are being hurtful.

And that's what you did today. You are being hurtful. I don't think you are worse than a crack addiction. Yeah. I appreciate that, Ludwig. I'm sorry. Hey, thanks. You're welcome.

Thanks for stepping up to the plate and apologizing for doing wrong, for wrongdoing. Right. We are about to do a factor ad read, but I want you guys to know in the premium episode, Slime does freestyle rap, and it's the worst thing I've ever heard. Dude, come on. But what's the best thing I've ever heard is Factor's nutritious chef-ready meals

that go straight to your door. I was going to get us in. I was going to do a whole thing about, like, clowns. Yeah, I know. But you had a clown bit for Factor. Dude, I had a whole thing. None of you are ever going to hear it because Ludwig's only job is to embarrass me. But you could hear a freestyle about Aiden that he did that was maybe the worst thing.

It was maybe the biggest threat to hip hop today. Yeah. And you know what's a big threat to your diet? I will kill hip hop. Diet is not eating right, buddy. So eat. They got 34 meal choices per week. Amen. Is not just I eat right buddy, so Approved by dietitians approved by hip-hop also I like factor because it's approved by hip-hop

It's approved by my goddamn microwave. I put it to eat it keto kitties you you vegan virgins They got all you cover guys the guys that factor like that like that old 90 shit They got all you covered. The guys at Factor like that old 90s shit. And also, if you like real cerebral boom bap rap about the government, go ahead and go to factormeals.com slash theyard50. I know I wish it was 90s because I love hip hop. But theyard50. And what do you get, Lyle? You get 50% off.

It makes sense. 50% off your first box? 50 for 50. And what do you get? You get 50% off. It makes sense. 50% off your first box? 50 for 50. Freestyling is way harder than I thought, than you would think it is. Yeah. It's honestly. I know. To be clear, you just thought you'd be good at it.

Yeah. I think I understood that it was hard. I understood that it was a challenge. No, there's a part of you that was like, I can do this. Yeah. So that's factormeals.com forward slash the yard 50 for 50 off your first box and america's number one right to eat meal kit and what i did on the primo is not that bad it was really bad it was really bad it was really bad you would have made sway let's go back to the

episode when i was 10 i went to france and i had to pee really bad but i was nervous every time i went to france because i didn't speak french really well at that age and so when i got up i couldn't find the bathroom i walked in the halls it was dark and I started crying and then I just sat next to the bed and I just peed on the floor and I just and I just got it all out and it felt so good and then I went back to bed you and just with a puddle of piss next to me really yeah yeah I just peed so much you told this story on the podcast before and I the only reason I don't remember it. Yeah, yeah.

I think it might be in one of the Best Of episodes or something. Because I just listened to this bit back. Oh. Yeah. I'll never forget. That was a core memory. So, did you live with your mom? It was at my grandma's house in France.

Who cleaned this shit up is what I'm asking. My mom, I told them in the morning. It was devastating. It was like a pud I told them in the morning, it was like devastating. I was like, there's like a puddle of piss. But like I played it off because I didn't want to be like, yeah, I just made the decision and pull the trigger. I was like, I like it was like in my sleep. Wow.

Sleep peed. Yeah. Yeah. What are you gonna do about sleep pee? But I was like too old for that to happen. So she's like mad. This is like Yeah

Am I currently in the lead For oldest age In the group pissing themselves in bed I was just thinking It was the last time I did it It's been so long It was definitely single digit age Cause mine was in London

I told you guys this Yeah We talked about it on the pod When we went to London I forgot My memory is so shit these days When was the last time You pissed your bed

I haven't pissed my bed in a while But I tried tried peeing in the car, and it didn't go well. Wow, really? It didn't go well. Yeah, because I used to do it all the time. You seem really good at it. Wait, like in a bottle? Yeah, I used to pee. So I used to do a drive because I had an ex who lived in New Jersey, so I'd go from New

Jersey to New Hampshire. I did it maybe like 10 times. You told this on the pod, too. I remember now. I used to pee in the bottle all the time time so I was good at it. So then recently I was doing this drive and I'm like I forget what the drive is but it's like 2 hours and I'm like I had to pee so bad

and I really don't want to pull over. And so I'm like trying to get myself to pee in a bottle and it's like at the wheel? No no no QD's driving I believe and I think I'm shotgun and I'm like I gotta pee. We don't want to pull over. So I'm like, I'm like trying to do it,

but like I'm, I'm peeing on myself a lot. Yeah. Like a lot. Do you ever, and then she's like, Oh, and I'm like,

it smells bad. I'm like, yeah. Oh yeah. What did it smell like? Describe it to me. Do you like not know? What did your piss that day?

Hold on. I'm going to close my eyes. Just go ahead. What did your piss that day smell like? You want to know what it smells like that bad? Yeah. What? Yeah. All right. No, no did your piss that day? Just go ahead. What did your piss that you want to know what it smells like that bad? Yeah, what yeah? I was fucking ready. You're about to take that shower. You can't rap you can't watch him piss. You can't do shit, bro If you want to know what it smells like I can let you know what it smells like cuz I got to go right now But it's your call. I was ready to look at his pissing dick.

Why do you grab the cup with the coffee still in it, though? I'm about done, it's also my cup, I'm not gonna grab his cup. Coulda. It's like, it makes me really disrespectful to grab his cup. Okay, listen. What did your piss smell like? It's piss, and if you don't want- But you said it smelled bad! If you shut me down, I'm not gonna continue this conversation, right?

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Like, respectfully, I'm not gonna continue. I didn't mean to do that. You don't get to double that. Nick's on his mean arc. It is mean to me. I'm not gonna continue this conversation right like respectfully. I'm not gonna continue. I mean Mean arc You're kinda yeah, yeah your mother right now, which is based We probably are using this wrong, and I'm just making a call yeah, and you just ate right And that's... It's giving eight.

Okay, wait. I was going to say something in relation to all this piss talk. All this fucking... So you guys never peed in Cheerios? No. That's where we were at. Did you? I think it's really interesting because Rad Seds told me that.

Is that why he wears like dinosaur t-shirts now? Yeah, he's all fucked up. But he told me that. It's like, oh, did you hit the Cheerios? Because I like peed or something. And he said it as if it was like, oh, did you do the bunny ears when you tie your shoe? Like something like colloquial. And I was like, what are you talking about?

And then he explained it. I don't even remember potty training. Do you remember doing like potty training I remember shitting the bed really wait what oh no you told us yeah I shit my my pants in the bed I remember my little training my training potty I remember that little ass toilet yeah my little baby toilet I imagine Aiden still has something like that and he just uses it normally. You use a little training toilet still? Yeah. I can imagine that. For fun sometimes.

If I feel like taking it out back. Taking it out back. Yeah. If I'm in the mood. Yeah. I always, to circle back, pee on the side. On the silent zone. Always.

Always. You never want to be loud and proud? No, no, no. When I'm standing. Stop bringing up sitting down. When do you stand? When do you stand and pee? Like, why are you even talking?

When do you stand and pee? When do you find yourself in that situation? Sometimes I gotta stand and pee. Sometimes I gotta stand and pee. Maybe I'm in a public restroom and I don't want to sit down. Maybe I have, like, a backpack on and, like, I just want to stand and pee real quick. See, I never break edge. Really?

You've never stood and peed. That's not true. You've peed in urinals before. Where are we hitting, boys? What are we dropping? I'm dropping like a, ideally, E4, E3, F4, F3. Yeah, I'm like F6, F5, or E5. Maybe H6.

I'm E.56. You know H6. No decimals here. Well, it's there's a stupid line in the middle of the fucking water. It is crazy the way it goes. Also, you're not that accurate. I am. No, you're not. Yeah, I don't even eat Cheerios.

If you piss on the outside because you're trying to be quiet, do you like... I think it's also less splashback. Do you like... So what you do... It's more. No, there's way less splashback if you pee on the side. It's definitely more. You have to piss at an angle.

No, no, because you're peeing at an angle. No, listen, guys. So there's the reduced splashback. It's kind of like pouring a beer, where it's like you want to shoot the stream at the angle of the toilet bowl to kind of line it up like you're landing a plane. Yeah, if you hit the water,

the water is surface-sensitive. It bounces right out. No, it would bounce off of porcelain more, right? It's like CS surface. No, no, no. It bounces more off the water. It bounces off the water way more. This does not apply to urinals.

We agree on that, right? Urinals. Urinals, you're trying to aim for the hole, because if you aim for the wall, it pounces back at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. No. Yeah. Yes.

You never want to pee perpendicular. Right, right. You can't pee perpendicular. You want to pee with a diagonal. You want to pee at the bottom of the wall, towards the bottom of the urinal wall. You're a city. Dude, that's crazy crazy you're a city it

literally splashes back no it doesn't it does splash back it does splash if you pee into the bottom that's where the only amount of like water or like plastic is you don't know how to stand and pee yep i didn't want to say that you i used your mouth my whole life yeah but what i'm saying is you when you piss with your penis yeah against the porcelain straight on, perpendicular. Not perpendicular. Okay, well, that's what you were just saying. I said the bottom wall. And this is where the disingenuous little prick comes out, where he always changes his argument.

No, I said bottom wall. Archie, you can see him. I said bottom wall. Let's say then, so you're talking about like a 45 degree angle. Let's talk geometry here. Yeah, bro. Yeah, where are you peeing? Where the bottom of the wall point. Yeah, like that. That doesn't happen.

The back near the bottom of the green arrow or what? Or where he's peeing. Yeah, like where the green arrow is, I guess. Dude, I actually think that there's science behind the urinal cake. I think the urinal cake like doesn't bounce back anything. There's low bounce back on urinal cakes for sure. I think science behind the urinal cake. I think the urinal cake doesn't bounce back anything. There's low bounce back on urinal cakes, for sure. I think it's the glossiness, perhaps.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Well, yeah, it's like sound dampening. What sort of primo urinal cakes are you getting? I used to pee like you. I used to be bad at it, right? To be clear, we pee the same. No, no, no, no, no. No, I would kill myself if I peed like you.

I used to pee like you. And because I worked at the vape job, and I would have to wear a button-down and slacks every day. Yeah. And so I would pee, and I had gray slacks. And so sometimes I would pee in the urinal. And I noticed, like, one day, I walked out, and I didn't even realize I had fucking splatter marks everywhere.

Oh. And I got called out for my splatter marks. By whom? By whomst. Your boss? It got called out by one of the people just in my, like... Well, how'd they say it? One of the people lower on the rungs, because that's who's allowed to do it.

It was someone I was closer with. Some people lower on the rungs, they say, hey, pussy boy, you got piss all over your side. We were friendly. We were cordial. He was like, you got pee on you. Was he nice and kind of was like, hey, there's water? No, he was like, bro, look at your piss.

Or were you like, oh, it was the sink. I was like, well, I peed for the bottom of the green arrow. Is that where you're supposed to pee? He's like, you fucking idiot. And then I learned. And so anyway, you're a fucking idiot. Well, the thing is, what you were saying is that you don't stand to pee anymore. You look really funny.

But are you saying that when in public, at the airport. Yeah, you sit and pee. Like, no, airports can be really clean. Don't sit on any toilet. Like, add like a dugout. I'm not talking about cleanliness. The bathroom behind the snack shack at the baseball field.

I always use the urinal if it is available. And then if it's not, like it is at home, then I sit. So if you had a urinal in your house, would you use that to pee? That'd be kind of cool. I mean, a urinal in your house? Would it? Yeah. No, you wouldn't.

I feel like a urinal looks gross. No, because I like the comfort and safety of my toilet. What if you didn't have a bidet sitting down? If the wall has a mouth. If I didn't have a bidet? Yeah.

The bidet changes everything. You're just privileged. I'd probably still sit. Interesting. Because I don't have a bidet in my bathroom right now. Do you guys ever get scared that like a snake's gonna come out and bite you when you're sitting on a toilet no i've heard this

i've heard this a lot of people ever and i've never felt it but i've heard this from a lot of people and you're valid this is your valid scene no thank you yeah this is the cheerios of of you do you think that Radstad's brings like a little kids to go cup of Cheerios with him on trips? Don't use that word. And then, and then like

tosses a few in the toilet when he goes. To keep sharp? Like he's feeding ducks? It's like bots. It's like shooting bots in the rain. He does a homie move

where he gets every toilet just for people coming over. Yeah. Maybe it's just like a mental thing. You know how some people need to hear like certain sounds to pee in like public places? It takes forever for me to pee in public. You got pierisus.

Wait, what? I'm not even like... When you're really French. Pierisus is pee shyness. It's the medical definition. Yeah, but it's like I'm a confident dude, right? Like it's so weird because I'm not like in my head.

I'm like, oh God, it's just like my pee doesn't want i'm not like in my head i'm like oh god it's just like my my pee doesn't want to come out it's really interesting but it's like i'm not though you are it's like a subconscious thing there was a guy next to me i was at um uh fuck some sort of a huntington library and we were and i was in the bathroom and the guy next to me clearly couldn't start peeing like he was there before me. That's me. Only seconds before me. So I knew he hadn't peed yet. And I walk up and I start peeing and he has not peed yet.

And it's been like a while. And I'm like, this guy can't start peeing. And I kind of was like, maybe if I pee harder and louder, it'll encourage him to like think we're drowning the noise out. So I tried to pee louder. I was like, come on, buddy. Did you finish peeing before he started? Yeah, I finished before he started. You did your best.

And then once I went to wash my hands, I heard him start peeing. I'm that guy. It takes me a while. I respected the hustle. Shy bladder syndrome, periodicis, a social anxiety disorder that makes it... Yeah, this isn't me.

This is literally like... That's you, little bro. I wrote an article about pierciss. I actually interviewed the head of the Pierciss Foundation. I'm not falling for this. I did. Yeah, and I'm fucking Dr. Sugma. His name was Ronald McDonis.

No, this is true. I think his name was Joseph. Not doing this. I guess I do wonder why he knows this. I actually did. There's like a pierciss, it's like basically like AA. That's not how the word is spelled by the way. You keep saying pierisus, is that how it's said?

Yeah, it's not par-gur-ee-sis, it's pierisus. It's just no, okay. Alright, I believe you. It's like kilometer. Yeah, it's like kilometer. Yeah, this is a real thing, it's like basically AA, but instead of alcoholics, it's people who have pee shyness. They have meetings to get over it. What a lame, lame disorder. First of all, you have the disorder. But instead of alcoholics, it's people who have pee shyness. They have meetings

Lame disorder first of all you have the disorder so don't attack your people like dirty talents Second of all learning this these people are just trying to get over in anxiety. It's just an anxiety I'm not like them to localize anxiety and you have it. I could beat it without medicine I could I could beat it with raw I could piss right now I don't think you could piss quickly but you have mild pierisus because you can still do it it just takes you

a while to start up it's so weird though it's like so because I'm saying in my head do you want to go I can contact Joseph I don't want to talk to

do you want to have a meeting with him I don't give a shit about him it could help you I want to help you what was he going to say oh yeah Ludwig

from ASU he'd be like oh yeah I can never get him into one of our meetings why did you interview him because I had to help you. What was he going to say? Oh, yeah, Ludwig from ASU. He'd be like, oh, yeah, I can definitely get him into one of our meetings. Why did you interview him? Because I had to do, it was for my journalism class. I had to do like just a paper. This sounds Ludwig-like.

I believe him. So I researched the topic. Did you research it? Because it was like kind of quirky. I think I had mild peer assist, so I looked into it because I was like, what's this? Are there people experiencing this? Because it was just harder for me to pee if someone was right next to me. And so then I was like, ah, what, like what's this? Are there people experiencing this? Cause it was just harder for me to pee if someone was right next to me.

And so then I was like, Oh, let me look it up. And I found out it was a real thing that they had like a whole fucking AA meeting about. I was like, Oh, this is a big deal for these people.

How severely does it affect them? They can't even pee in public. Yeah. They can't even pee at work. It said on the article, the bathroom is empty, severe Pierre assist. Yeah.

The bathroom. It, I, some people, the bathroom can be empty, but some people have the fear that someone will enter the bathroom if it's public. Oh, shit. So they can only do private bathrooms. If you-

So one guy drove to work every time to go to the bathroom, or drove home from work to go to the bathroom. I want to hear your Pierisus stories. It's from- In the comments. The guy's name was Joe. Okay. Who ran the thing.

I don't want to know. All right. Joe what? His name was Joe who ran the thing. I don't want to know. Joe what? His name was Joe. It's not happening. His name was Joe. Nick Yingling prepared me for this for months. You don't want to talk about Joe?

I wish you were dead. I'll move on from Joe but the guy who runs it his name Joe but his wife his name was what? Candace. You're like a book. but his wife, his name was what? It was Candace. Yeah.

You're like a book. I want to hear your PRS stories. If you have this condition, right, right. How'd you work through it? Right. Right into the yard.

The yard. Are you with you to help with it? Yeah. I got a hundred on that paper. And my teacher said she was going to publish it. Cause it was such a good paper. Really? Wait, hold on. Don't blow up the spot like that. It was tight.

I interviewed the guy. I met him in person. It was great. Joe. Then my teacher died though. Your teacher died? She died, yeah. Of Pieris's? That's not I don't think a cause of death. It's anxiety. You can die of anxiety. You don't believe that?

You don't believe that? You can't believe that? You can't. I don't think you die from anxiety. You can't die from not being for too long. You die from... Nope. You get toxic megacolon. Okay. I don't think that's the medical term for it.

That sounds tight. That's like an adult swim show. I think you have the right idea. No, she drowned. Ironic. Ironic. In water, right? She had nothing to give pierces.

In water, yeah. Dude, that to give Pieris this. In water, yeah. Dude, that, uh, that, I don't, this is old, so I feel like I'm old news a little bit, but the Aiden Ross thing, the, the, his sister, that was crazy. What is this? I don't know. You guys didn't see this? You didn't see it? I didn't see this.

It's not that old. I don't keep up with Aiden Ross. Basically. It was like yesterday, but his, his, uh, his chat tricked him into looking at naked pictures of his sister. On stream. And what was he doing? Because he has like an OnlyFans, and he was like watching some compilation,

and then it just cuts to a picture of his sister naked. And then he was mad about it. Oh, so he just, like, it was a gotcha. It was a gotcha. I thought you were saying in a way that like where it was a naked body, and he didn't know. I'll say if there's an amount of seconds too long to look, he looked the extra second

No, I think that Okay, wait actually play it replay it replay it I think there's a freeze frame, but Yeah, there might be a freeze frame here. That is a little long, but I feel like his reaction after was normal. It was like Tom Brady's kiss. Like, it was a little long. Not that long.

Not that long. This is like the Folgers commercial of livestream fails. You know what I'm talking about? Sorry, what is this 1930s fucking shit you're talking about right now? It's a Folgers commercial where this brother and sister share a look, but it's a little too long. Oh, yeah. And it's like this big old scar. Yeah, it's really funny.

That's crazy to do to someone. That's crazy. He literally has a Discord where you just post memes and videos and he scrolls through it. Well, he's on Kickstarterikto, it doesn't matter. I know, but it just seems so... Like that, even if you're on Kikto, it's fun. It is funny that he's like, bro, that's too far.

It's like, dog, you're on a platform where every other platform wouldn't... Yeah, you're on the Redroom.ru social network. He's like, guys, I want to watch Beheadings, not my sister. Yeah,ings not my sister what are you looking for yeah I wonder if that's what makes it click that your community is fucking awful no it's just one bad apple yeah I saw good it's just one bad apple do you see Kanye likes Jewish people now no he came around he's back dude did he

watch 21 Jump Street? Yeah. Those movies are really funny. It's one of my favorite movies and everyone is saying like, he's like, I saw his tweets like, I wouldn't go back in time to kill baby Hitler. I'd sit him down in front of 21 Jump Street and have Jonah Hill's performance speak for itself.

He doesn't know English. He was like hoping he gets it. There's a dub. There's a dub. There's a dub. Austrian dub. Dude, Austrian? 21 Jump Street dubbed is probably so fucking good. Oh, that's why! I didn't know, I didn't know this was- Oh, you didn't know it was real? You didn't even know this?

No, I thought people were just memeing it on 21 Jump Street. No, he actually posted this. The- watching Jonah Hill on 21 Jump Street made me like Jewish people again, end quote. That is crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. I didn't know this. I can't believe I didn't know this. This is so insane.

Dude. Yeah, he just posted that. That's how good this movie is, by the way. This is beautiful. I love this movie. The top reply is, what? This is art. Everything I'm seeing right now is art.

I can't believe this is it. Poopy Cat said, what? Imagine trying to undo an entire, like, thing i'm seeing right now is art from i can't believe this is it poopy cat said what imagine trying to undo an entire like anti-semitic like year-long tirade by just like what let's say he doesn't even care about this movie he's like okay this is how i get back it's just like it's like some his pr team is like they love 21 jump street you don't have to mention that yeah there's some percentage of people who are like, I can listen to Graduation again.

It's okay, though. Thank God. As long as I watch 21 Jump Street at least once every six months, I can listen to Kanye music. It is such a good movie. Do you think he can just very easily claw back in if he just says stuff like this a couple more times? I don't know. He just needs to make a good album.

I don't think so. 100%. College Dropout 2, it's all 21 Jump Street themed. times if you just know he just needs to make a good album i don't think so 100 college dropout two it's all 21 if he makes his best album ever i think people would suddenly turn a blind eye i don't know i think you're right i don't know how this works these days everything's so weird and then it'd be like the devil's fruit where you hear it and everyone's like it'd be the hogwarts legacy of rap albums. If Hogwarts Legacy was actually an amazing game,

yeah. People would be like, yo, it's actually really fucking good. Dude, imagine if Elden Ring, if Miyazaki was just like a vitriolic racist.

Yeah. People would be like, people would be like, yeah, I've been playing it like offline. And it actually fucking goes. Could you be Godric?

Same thing with Kanye. If he drops an album, the Spotify plays would speak for themselves. Even if people online are like, not listening to that. Yeah, it's really interesting. Remember when you asked us if you should play Hogwarts Legacy for money on the Primo?

Yeah. And then we were like, no, it's not worth it. Do you think that I was right? Nah, I should have taken the bread. It doesn't matter. Nothing fucking matters or sticks in this fucking world. I should have taken the bread easy. You know? You should have taken the bread.

Should have taken the bread. Should have taken that wood. Should have taken the bread plate on my Steam Deck. Pull a couple cases in between. Stream it on your Steam Deck through a camera shot. Hold it up in front of the Steam Deck. He's getting you to buy crypto. He's taking away your stream bread.

I'm giving you million dollar ideas. I feel like, I don't know, actions speak louder than fucking these guys, bro. I've never taken anything away. Than nerds. Yeah, but I pee like you. And that means we're brothers. Dude, we all sit and pee.

Literally all of us. Yeah, since the day I sit and pee all the time now. Also... Don't relate to me because we sit and pee. Relate to me for better reasons. How about you go around and you tell three of us how you relate to each of us? I have to pee so bad. Where are we at, Zipper?

Is this the last thing? Don't say is this the last thing. I might have to pee in this cup. God forbid you relate to us. Maybe we cut this part. Oh, fuck. So we have to do this? Okay. Do it. All right. God forbid you relate to us. Maybe we cut this part. Oh, fuck. So we have to do this? Okay.

Do it. All right. How do I relate to you guys? I relate to Aiden's love of conversing in travel. It's true. I relate to Nick's affinity for gaming and competition that's also true i relate nothing to you don't fucking do this don't do this nothing to me that's not literally not your thing you are not mother come on pussy boy not mother i'll call you if you're if you say one

thing you relate to me with uh you will be mother to me. Okay. I relate to your confidence. What's that mean? I think you're very confident. And I relate to being confident. Is this? I can't. Is it an own?

I can't. I don't know. I'm asking you. Hold on. We'd like to confer. Okay. Sure. We'd like to. Is it? Is it? Is it? know we like to confer okay Is it fucking I feel like he's trying to tell you things making an Italian joke about you

I don't think he's doing Mario is it calling you Super Mario. Are you calling me Super Mario? It's like we're conferring I don't think he's I Just think you're gonna fuck up your head. It's about the hair. It's not... Talking about your head. Do you think he is saying anything... You're not part of the Convert Council. Do you think he's making fun of me?

Yeah, I think... You don't think I can sneak on over there right now? All right. Because I don't think he thinks you're confident. That's so nice of you. That's pretty nice. It's because you think you could beat me in a fight, and I think I could beat you in a fight.

Yeah, that is... So you in a fight. Yeah. We're both confident. Also, I wanted to ask you this because we were talking about Nick's beautiful mother. If you said it was fucked up of him to say what he said, but would you either smoke crack or have sex with me?

And now you're in a predicament. Would I personally smoke crack or would I have sex with you? now you're in a predicament because you said personally smoke crack or would i have sex with you the sex with me because i would rather smoke crack so that was fucked up because when nick said he would rather his mom smoke crack because i have sex with me you are the same no that was you said that was fucked up and that was me that's how we relate whoa because you i said i said a crack addiction yeah would you rather be addicted to crack or sex? To me, you just said do crack. Okay, fine. I'm changing it.

Oh, now he's changing it. No, you made an addiction though. The goalposts changed. I was going to have it just have one crack smoke. I also think it's different if I'm addicted to crack because I can be cool with that. It's better to have sex with slime than be addicted to crack. No. Answer the question.

So what you're saying is you're contradicting yourself. No, I'm not. I'm not contradicting because I'm worried I would be addicted to having sex with you. And so it's the lesser of two evils. I'm not worried his mom would suffer from that. You should be. Yeah. He should be.

You don't have to keep relating it to that. Maybe. Well, he said there was a contradiction, so I wanted to say it's the same. I'm the same as your mom. We both don't want to have sex with slime. We both are going to do crack. To be clear, doing crack once is almost certainly better than

having sex with you. What the fuck? Anyway, now you, would you rather do crack or have sex with slime? Wait, Aiden, would you rather have sex with me, slime, with my body. Yeah. Or would you get, smoke crack out of a crack pipe?

Let's just do crack next episode. Can I do crack? Wait, wait. Do I have the promise of not becoming addicted? Is it just drunk? No, you might. You have the guarantee. It's like normal.

Yeah. You're not going to get addicted doing crack once. I think I already kind of, you know, apparently wants to do crack, but no part of me wants to have sex with you. Literally no part. No part. Love it. Love it.

Thanks for watching the art, everybody. Subscribe. We'll see you guys in the primo. Go watch. Goodbye. See you in the premium episode.