The Yard - Ep.61 - Mr. Beast Forced Ludwig to Travel. Again.

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

This week, the boys talk about the drama between 100 Thieves and The Mob, Ludwig travelling to meet MrBeast and how The Yard could possibly make a Reality TV Show.

Hey that best buzz shirt that was a good old yes the good old days I forgot mine I've slime wins the best friend rocking that that you were rocking that that do. That hair? That was one of the greatest pictures taken of me for like two years. Yeah. You used it all the time. I moved on. You did use that for everything. It is kind of sus to use it now because it's. Where were we Lud? Where were we? For that picture. Where were we? We were in a record store.

Doing what? Filming for our podcast. Meeting me and Slimes. He remembers. I just want to make sure did he remember I don't know of course he remembers his life moves at a

million subs a minute that would be insane if he didn't off the stick that would be crazy yeah and we don't live in the world so

someone was dude I'm getting right now this is happening I'm getting hate DMs on reddit but interestingly enough good

yeah because it's not for me slime somewhat my reddit name is downtown sasquatch was a reference to uh the degrassi band that they are in called aubrey's in it and spinner and craig and marco and uh someone is named sasquatch on slippy right now and is like being really rude and taunting and they're finding me in the subreddit because i post on like ssbm and like telling me to kill myself and stuff wow and i'm just like

you got the wrong guy but also i'm friends with all of the people you looked up to like coincidentally yeah you're fucking with the wrong one i see yeah that's downtown sasquatch i told you see i told i named every member they look so sick Aubrey's sick you know who taunted on me after they beat me today secrets

really yeah DeJuan no I got us back I held it all together I played Shroomed and he was three stocks to one on me

and he was being a dick he was walking around and stuff reverse three stock win the game taunt he leaves what's up Shroomed we don't even know each other. What's up, dude?

Be nice. Be nice, man. Look, I'm playing under a Smurf name. Maybe if you saw someone that you might kind of know, you might not be mean. Be nice to everyone. Are you guys getting so wound up from taunting? Well, you're talking about... Well, I taunted.

I think everyone's getting wound up. I'm not a taunter. Because when you're not next to somebody and you're getting destroyed in melee, it fucking stabs you in your very soul. And I don't know what it is. I think that's, honestly, that's the core of what I don't like about it. Because he did stun on me, and he won our little sesh, you know? But it's like, would you do that if we were playing in person together? If we were sitting next to each other?

And it's like, I know who you are. He might not know who I am. He might not know. And he doesn't need to know. I'm just saying, if we were sitting next to each other at main stage, does he drop the taunt at the end? On the setup. Could I pull on this thread? Do you get upset if someone teabags you in Valorant?

That's not the same. It's different. You know what gets the goose? Body shooting. Shooting the body in Valorant is like though is evil mode but they're probably just bad you're in gold lobbies sometimes no I know it's a thing you do I think you kill them and you just keep shooting yeah no it doesn't mean body shot I thought he meant shooting the body I'm like I'm not a lot of players hit me in the head of your fucking be yeah it doesn't feel good like it is i would say it's bm i don't like seeing somebody

shoot my body because it's like you know they're they're on their high horse off that round it's just not the same but in melee it's like more intimate right it depends if some dude named like scrub falco 3000 does that to me it's just like like, oh, that's kind of lame. But it's like, I know who Secrets is. I will see him at an event. Right. This is kind of the same as the fiction thing I said, where I was like, I played fiction, he auto-left, and I was like, would he have done that if

I wasn't on his merch name? And also, why is he being a dick while we play? You've achieved so much in the game. Do you need to do that on random friendlies? The answerlies I think there's a weird level of expected decorum in melee a weird level? I think there's just etiquette

and I don't think it's bad to taunt by the way I just think it's bad to taunt online and to not taunt in person. Consistency is important Aemon will play like a son of a bitch on the setup I think we should respect people in person more. Sure.

The person who taunts online. But you're saying you're excusing it for online. You're just changing the watermark. You're saying nothing and adding nothing, and plus L plus ratio. Yeah, if they're like that in person, it changes everything. To add on to that,

one final note, welcome back to the yard, episode 61. Hey, love you got it right. He's trying to get useful real fast. Nobody literally likes you. Like, gosh. Like a couple of guys in prison,

maybe. I don't know if it's real someone dm'd me yeah this is absurd i don't think it's real because i think they specifically chose a non-violent crime uh but i i will read part of this dm which i thought was at the very least interesting which was uh someone said uh wait no that just says fuck cops, fuck Redditors. This person said, okay, uh, I just got out of federal prison on, uh, nonviolent charges. Oh. Oh, hey, hey, zipper.

HDMI 1. HDMI. HDMI. He'll figure it out. Uh, I went in, uh, at this time and I got out last month. Uh, I knew you from liking Melee, kept up with tournaments. Um, the yard has listeners in prison. I remember you saying in an episode that phones are getting reintroduced into prisons, and although they're few and far between, I was at one of them.

They are super monitored, but as far as media goes, since you are considered a comedy podcast, it's fair game. Well, we're about to tell you guys how to make toilet wine, so strap in. Their reason is media keeps everyone busy and therefore not being shady. There are a couple of guys on block that listen to you too and we get together on Wednesdays and listen. One guy, Trey,

who's in for assaulting a police officer even bought the Patreon and we listen to bonus episodes too. I don't believe this. So I think it's actually really hard to believe but if it's true, that's hype. If it's true, send a picture of Trey shirtless. Trey's also in the Discord right now. Imagine.

Show yourself, Trey. Yo, prison sucks, El Amado. We should make prison in our Discord. Like a jail? Yeah, and then you could be a prisoner in it, and it's its own chat. Seems weird. No, every time you do,

as a decorated moderator and hater of internet culture of Zoomers, people will try to get into it. Yeah. And Ben is the warden. It's like role play, like GTA. Ben's the warden and he'll tell you you've been bad. Ben will discipline you. He'll tell you that.

He'll tell you everything you want to hear. You're my man. Okay. The last thing. He'll tell you everything you want to hear. You're my man. Okay, the last thing. Talking to me, you are collectively the favorite of the guys on the block. Reason being, you are the one who knows gang the most.

What? Yeah. Well, no, I definitely don't believe it. From the mouth of babes. That means you can do the blood fingers thing. I believe that. Low bar, though. What are you talking about?

Low bar. I think when we all go to prison, I'll be in a good spot. I think that when we go to prison, you'll be with the honkies. You're one of us. You're already shaved. You're ready to go. You're just maybe slightly above us. I think if there's one yard fan

in prison, then I hope that they're chill. I hope they're non-violent offenders and we can make it to the end together without hurting anyone. I don't know. Chaka to you, Trey. I don't want to go, but I will. Eventually. Yeah.

It's like sleeping on the floor. Has any streamer done that? Oh, there is one who did that. Who was it? MrBeast did it. Oh, MrBeast did it. I stayed in a prison for 50 hours. Like a real prison? No, they built it, right? It was a real prison. I think they repurposed. They should have just made him do a crime.

We should do a podcast from a prison cell. Whoa. Balsam Prison? We do a whole concert like Johnny Cash? We become the Johnny Cash of podcasts. Who is he talking about? We could be like the professor of podcasters. Who is he talking about?

Like the professor like. Yes. Like the nutty professor? No. He's a goading basketball player. Like Spider-Man goes to Venice Beach. A goading basketball player. Yard dices up prison podcasters on live show. Professor live. Can you you pull some clips of the professor dude type in spider-man at venice beach the professor is a basketball player who can stunt on them hoes at the park and uh and he's known for like making them look real goofy he's the

real white iverson and before white before post malone stole. He's white and like 36. Plugging on you. And he went to a prison and played basketball against prisoners. He played prison ball? And diced them. And they were all hype. That he was hype? Because he swags out when he wins. That's cool. The professor's whole thing is like

he kind of like pioneered like I went to Venice Beach and dressed up as a nerd and balled out on everyone. Right. That's like his shtick. And what we would do is show up to prison and dice them in the oral banter. Yeah, this is him at prison.

Are they, like, filming? I don't understand. Yeah, he- No, I know they're filming, but, like- Oh my god, dude. He got clearance to do this And they got like a fun day That's cool With the professor

That's great Well celebrity rolls through He plays basketball Have you ever played NBA street? No Ah fuck Well he plays basketball Actually like you play in that game

Like a video game Like you press Y Like Mario And your guy like does like a move That says like off the heezy Yeah And it's like they don't do that in basketball Yeah

He does that He moves like he's rendered in like off the heezy yeah it's like they don't do that in basketball yeah he does that he moves like he's rendered in blender yeah looks like it dead ass concussed because of the fish guys we are filming after if you caught the stream I don't know if the video will be out but we

did a you laugh you lose with Amon me and Ludwig on the same team all of us yard guys who is he I'm just like, I just heard, oh yeah, they're all doing a, you laugh,

you lose upstairs. And I'm like, why was I not? Do you want me to answer why? Yeah. Cause we did a, you laugh, you leave the room

and you and Nipa had to kill yourself off. That was when I was broke at a monitor blankly for hours. He's petty. I didn't lose. He's petty and I'm petty too. That's's petty. I didn't lose.

He's petty and I'm petty too. That's not petty. I like petty guys. I just think that he's toxic and I'm toxic. It doesn't make as much sense. I'm based and I have a high expectancy for comedy.

So, which makes you worse to look at. Makes me a better champion. Yes, which isn't what I want. You don't want champions. No.

He wanted one of the worst performers of all time. Don't ask for a champion. Which is is why i asked aiden but unbeknownst to me aiden really didn't want to get hit by a fish so he just turned on his i want to fucking kill myself mode too yeah you didn't you didn't play it up for sure which you can't trust these hoes i can't say are you saying your content's fake is that what you're saying Yeah fuck yeah But it's also like There's a little bit of fake A little bit of rock and roll It was close though

It was decently close It was decently close I mean it was within Also I think Mike I think Mike threw in I think there was a lot Of filler arcs And it was kind of like

There's a couple things Going wrong You need to have black space In between the TikToks And I think that would Reduce the amount of TikToks Mike would have to find And also increase The amount of qualitys Mike would have to find and also

increase the amount of quality ones and I don't know. It's all good though. It was great content. Everyone likes your content, Ludwig. What were you thinking about? What were you accessing? I tried to like overthink every video and really latch onto stuff or trends that I do

not think are funny and if any video had like a hint of something that I like really dislike I latched on in that moment even if it like got away from that watching you didn't laugh at one video of a woman sexist oh that makes a single video that didn't I feel like I watched five episodes of Broad City last night, so I'm a good ally. Yeah. I think that... They had Hillary Clinton on their show, so maybe not. Ooh, not in season one, though, so I didn't

get to that part. What an L. I loved that show. I didn't watch the whole thing, but... What is this show? I've never heard of this. It's called Broad City. It's about two girls in New York. Two broads at the city? It kind of started literally Yas Queen, I believe came from that show, but also probably like girls in new york broads at the city it kind of it kind of started like literally yas queen like i believe came from that show but also probably like that's definitely gay the gay

community but i guess they popularized it it's like the pipeline goes like women keep taking stuff from the gays that's what i've been saying thing right yeah this keeps stealing it all yeah we like fucking guys the thing is they did they stole that from gays you gotta pick which side you're on give it back give the guys back to the gays give us back the meat what's ours what's ours could men get one for once just one time i want to double you yeah uh they had hillary clinton on the show and it was pretty cringe did that that's tough yeah uh was it where's he gonna say whatever yeah amen suck you can't trust these hoes i am your i'm your i'm your cinderella just level with me do you want me to bait it down to the wire it's more that you can have fun and you can also compete at the same

time but at the end of the day it's got to be a good thing to put on stream. My fear was that I did not trust myself to hold. So when I had that lead, I think my lead at the maximum point was like seven points. And even then, I lacked faith in myself to get through the rest of the content.

So that's why I was so scared. I mean, you probably were right to win because I think if you got hit two fold by the fish, you wouldn't be here. I think I'd be seeing stars. You couldn't take a hit from a fish. First of all, Nick Yingling doesn't know how to thaw meat. It's not Nick Yingling's fault.

No, it is. Nick left the fish. He left a frozen fish on the counter just there to thaw for an hour. I do think Yingling probably shouldn't have put it in the freezer that was bold. He did? Why do you think it was frozen? I said the glow stick thing on the pod, didn't I? Yeah. Okay.

Wait. I don't think you did. No. Nick Yingling was holding a glow stick that was not cracked and he's staring at it like it's a hieroglyphic. Yeah, like an amulet. And he looks at me and he says, how do you turn it on? God bless his heart. And I was like,

bro, what? He drives a car. He drives a vehicle. Yeah. Just put the fish in warm water. Or just leave it out, out. I think when it's that far gone, it's GG.

It's like defrosting a turkey. We don't know how to do it yet. What? It's never been done. No one's done it. People defrosting a turkey. We don't know how to do it yet. What? It's never been done. People do that. No one's done it. People defrost turkeys. No, not in water.

It's never been done. I feel like every microwave just has the thaw button on it. I think that's fake. Or defrost. I do think there's a line between putting the fish in the microwave, which would probably ruin life here for about a week. Dude, imagine if the fish was just warm soft and stinky and then we did we can run it back we fish it out of the dumpster and go do it again

yes dude it's gonna be so hot tomorrow we'll just let it air out tomorrow and we'll run it back you can hit me with the fishy man throwing stuff out in the dumpster that was nasty oh yeah it's fucking nasty with the trash isn't sitting for weeks. It's been hot, messy trash. We got disconnected. Yeah, I had it on auto pay and they still didn't take our good waste money. Waste management fucked us. Yeah. So we had to buy a dumpster and throw it in.

Me and Yingling, we were in the dirt today. Oh, yeah? Yeah, we had to pull the trash out of the trash can to put it in the dumpster. Why didn't you just make him do it? Cause I don't like making my personal assistant do tasks that I think are deplorable without me in it. I will, I will be in the weeds with him.

I'll never make him do it by himself. Really? Yeah. I do all the dirty tasks with him. I think kids should work. What? I think we should make kids work and they should wear business suits, and we should put them to work. Nick Yingling is the mind of a child, and he needs to be put to work.

What do you, why, what is, okay, these are two separate thoughts. We need him to mature. What, and he's going to mature from work? Yeah. From working. When did you first get a job? I was 14. I washed dishes in a deli.

Is that legal? No. In Colorado, it was legal, I think, for the amount of time I worked. But there wasn't enough money in payroll. I didn't get paid for the whole summer. My mom was pissed. And you still did it? Yeah.

How does that work? I was just waiting for my check. It was crazy. And it never came? Well, it finally came at the end because my mom yelled at him. I did my first job. I was making pizza. And at some point, I just started getting one shift a week.

And I was like, this kind of sucks. But I hate my job. So I'm like simultaneously not complaining, but confused. And then I stopped getting shifts. Yeah. But they never fired me. Yeah. It's like this slow fire.

I think I'm still working there. They take you off the schedule. Yeah, maybe. I bet I could go back and just be like where's my fucking tips. Can I get a shift? You get a W-2 every year and it's like zero dollars. Yes sir. They did the same thing at Dairy Queen. They never hard fired people. They just stopped scheduling

people and then eventually you kind of like wait what's going on? It's like breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend by ghosting them instead of doing it. By starting to text them like once every couple days. Once every few days. Start picking fights. Start talking about fucking, you know what? I don't think I like blizzards that much right now.

I'm just, whatever. They're not that good. And then you just kind of don't show up. You know what I've been watching is, I've been watching the TV show Fuckboy Island. You have. What is that? I'm almost, it's a reality TV show. The British one?

Nope. It's American. It's called that. It's called F-Boy Island. They don't say fuck on the show ever. HBO Max original, right? HBO Max original. And the concept is, it's basically a dating show.

It's kind of like a shot of love a little bit. You remember Shot of Love? Teal Tequila? Flavor of Love. There's both. Or I Love New York. It depends who the person is. Shot of Love was Teal Tequila. I know. There's a British Island dating show. It's both. Or I love New York. It depends who the person is. Shot of love with tequila.

I know. There's a British Island dating show. It's very popular. Love Island. Is it like that? Yes, I think. It's just a dating show. I've been watching it on Love Island.

The gimmick is there's a bunch of guys and there's three girls and half of the guys are F boys, self-proclaimed. So they write into the show like, I want to be on the show. I'm a fuck boy. Half the other guys are nice guys self-proclaimed dude that is so cringe yeah yeah here it is uh and so the girls have to decide who they want to be in love with for the rest of their life but if they pick a fuck boy on accident at the end of the show the the fuck boy can choose to take a hundred grand

or the girl. Or he can just cheat on her anyway. So it's kind of like love or host. Wait, are the nice guys also hot? They're all hot. Everyone on the show is really hot. I feel like that defeats the purpose of the show. Well, I don't think the fuckboys are outing themselves. Well, I think the

normal guys don't take the hundred grand. They don't have a choice, right? Because they're nice guys. Yeah, they don't have a choice right because they're nice guys yeah they don't get they're just there to like date them and then cheat on them later and then the and then the fuck boys are like no babe i love you for real though and then when the show's over they're probably gonna take the money yeah it's just it is lover host yeah it's lovely man austin or raj sorry We should please. What's up with that? His Christian name is Raj. To the OG was awesome. Yeah, it was hype. Well, I was thinking is the host is this woman, Nikki Glaser, Glacier, Glacier.

I actually don't know. Glacier. And I was like, who is I don't know who this host is. So I looked it up. She's a comedian and she has a podcast. And I was like, oh, I'll look at her podcast. And ours is a lot bigger So I deduced from critical thinking

We could have a reality TV show and it would be successful That yeah based on the idea Of like if you Want to host if you want to have You a host of your show someone who people Watch we kind of fit that Bill which is funny More view and more some scrinder

And we also know one on the show is famous. The host of the show. Presumably the host is not the producer. Sure, but she's the most famous person on the show. You're wrong. She is the executive producer of the show and the host. That's crazy. We can have a reality TV show and I'm thinking we start brainstorming. Should we

stop taking distributions and instead try to fund a reality show? I think it's a good investment i don't think we can what because these two truckle like spending at the moment they get it i you do spend it the moment you hit up the jared's like kanye you hit up the jared's like subway sandwiches fresh day one if anything he's spending more because his rent is like four times higher than ours. My rent is high, but my bitch is low. Yes. Yes. You're so low.

You have no crypto. Fuck yeah, baby. Oh, well, okay. This is true. But if we all stop spending all at once, then we can make a reality show. Who wants to be a yard again? I know how to get him on board. You know?

What is the concept? It's a reality TV show, but it's animated like Total Drama Island, but it's anime. And we make a deal with Crunchyroll. Now he's on board. Easy. We make the food look like Ghibli. Yeah!

Yes, queen. Keep going. And they're all like a thousand years old. But, you know. But they look way younger. But there's a lot of old Japanese guys watching this on the train, if you know what I'm saying. They look way younger than they should be. Big boobs?

Who knows? Well, who knows? I mean, not these particular thousand year olds. Hey, in the boardroom? It's called fan service. In the boardroom. It's A fan service. In the boardroom. It's Aiden. He doesn't know he's on the show.

He's just at his desk and we keep sending in women and he just ignores them. That's cool. Yeah. That's the concept. Or in increasingly scary situations happen around Aiden and he increasingly doesn't notice that. He doesn't hear it. Yeah.

And it's like, finally, it's like an elephant from like the circus. It's just trampling the office behind him. Every scene is like Stan Lee's cameo in Amazing Spider-Man 2. Sorry, not a nerd. We're gonna keep going.

So I think we could bring back Silent Library. What is, is that like the penis game? You don't remember that show? It was like an MTV show. Penis. It's a Japanese show.

Do you, did the teacher hear it? Is everybody hear that? No. Penis. It's a Japanese show. Do you hear that? No. Okay, now you go, Eamon. Oh, really? Yeah. Pretty sure it's American. Japanese. Or maybe it was a parody of American. What is Silent Library? It's like you're in a room and you can't laugh, but they keep trying to make you laugh. It is like the

penis game. Yeah. You should have just said that. Well, I don't know. The penis game is who says it the loudest without getting caught. Oh, you're so wrong. Find the OG. The penis game is who says it the loudest without getting caught. Yeah, but sometimes. Oh, you're so wrong. Find the OG. I wait. The series is based on one of the segments of a popular

Japanese variety show. Downtown Nogeki no Tsukai ya Arahan which means there's two exclamation points. They shouldn't have added two exclamation points.

That name's already long enough. It is crazy. That's for Silent Library. That's actually just library. It's so long. Japanese is such an interesting language. We aren't errand boys. What the fuck?

Downtown must be a company. Like downtown's. It's like presented by downtown. We aren't errand boys. We could do anything, bro. We have pole. Don't kick the fireplace because you're angry. What the heck we have don't kick the fireplace because you're angry what the heck you don't kick the fireplace because you're angry okay you weren't invited

to ylyl you're bad at content we got hit by fish okay we're all fucked up we're all we're all fucked up maybe the scooby-doo taught us that the real monsters were underneath the mask yo when i'm fucked up i'm the real me that's what that's what the fucking libs have to figure out the libs don't know that the real monsters are under the mask under the disney channel masks anyway i think we should do it we could do whatever we want dude we could do a reality show we could do a fucking let's do a comic book where aiden is fucking jacked and has a nine inch wiener and then he there's a there's a manga there's a manga called Dick Fight Island. That's true.

You know about that. Do they fight with their dicks? Could my dick be curved, too? Yeah, like the wanted. That's your ass volleyball one. You're like Waluigi. It's your special. Can you show them ass volleyball, Zipper?

Have you guys seen ass volleyball? No. I can imagine what it is. Imagine it's about the future and guns. Is this the English title for Haikyuu? No, there's an anime where they play volleyball like Haikyuu, but on the beach, but with their asses. I'm going to look up Hantaro Rule 34.

Come on. Dude, I remember this because I would see this game in Blockbuster growing up, and I would always wonder. It was like an M-rated like anime volleyball game where they're on the beach and they all have their tits out but they play volleyball. And it was a, DOA was a fighting

game series which was really interesting. So they took a fighting game series, took all the female characters from it and then put them in a volleyball game. And you know what? People said the gameplay was good. So think about that. Hamtaro rule 34 oh it's real yeah of course it's real so

gross that's the whole idea no no little hamsters okay this is their asses I think they may maybe they fight with their asses oh yeah they're fine oops that was that was

nipple that just said boobs hey Archie make sure to edit that out so we don't lose our fucking livelihoods. Wait, where would it go? That's crazy. Dude, you know what I found out? If we talk about Stance in this podcast, he'll pull it up on stream. Oh, really?

But he will react raw, so we can say whatever we want, and he'll have to react live to us. That's kind of cool. So we can do anything we want right he'll have to react live to us that's kind of cool so we could do anything we want right now we can we could also hold this power but this is a power that we could exercise at any point the funniest thing i ever saw stans do was what it was the first time i met him and it was actually before genesis he just came and he hung out with ludwig and i was like oh he's like a fucking business guy whatever gen g he we're at a restaurant he's like a fucking business guy, whatever, Gen G. He, we were at a restaurant. It was like a nice upscale vegan place. Pulled down his pants.

Okay. Puts his, takes his nuts, skin, right? His nuts, that skin and stretches it out like a canvas, like in the army, like a cot. Right. Okay. He takes a Skittle. I remember this. It was a blue package.

The tropical ones. You remember this? Yeah. And he found the one he likes. I remember he pulled out the purple Skittle and I was like, skittle he's like tropical bag i'm like oh okay yep and he pulls it and he puts it in the center of his outstretched uh nut sack skin and then pulls it down like it like sort of like some sort of medieval trebuchet uh-huh and then pulls it and then the tension releases and it bounces all the way across the table hits a waitress right in the

head no shot she just kind of itched her head. It wasn't like, it was like a fly. She didn't really even notice. Yeah, but it was still super. And he went, that's amore. And I said, there's a better thing to say there probably, but still funny all around. It was weird. It was like an 80% complete bit, but he did that.

That was crazy. Thanks for pausing stans, you piece of shit. I did not do this. I didn't. Okay. you piece of shit. I did not do this. I didn't. Okay. I don't know. He'll probably be like

something like, look, I mean, she thought it was funny. The witcher thought it was funny. Yeah, I might have done that. I might have done that. I like new stance. He's been rocking

the big gold chain like he grew up on O-Block. That's tight. I think it's a good look. That's tight. That's a Ludwig move. Is it? Big ass chain. The chain? You literally wore a turtleneck and chain like a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, I feel like Stans didn't own a turtleneck until Ludwig wore one.

I'm gonna say it right now raw. I feel like weirdly it's become more Stans' look than your look though. It does fit Stans better. Because you escaped it. You went in this weird leather jacket arc and got away from it you win leather jacket arc I can't away from the turtlenecks yeah cuz they're not all-arounders they're very seasonal mm-hmm and they don't really feel great and we summer long and yeah there's a lot of seasons doing fucking hot right now dude it's really hot so I got the hiccups. You got hiccups now?

You got the hot cups? I got the hot cups. You got the hickey bears. Damn, bro. Hot cups is what they call my fucking nipples. My nipple. They call them hot cups. I don't think they do that.

I don't think they do that. It is hot. You know where it's not hot? Panama. Oh, shit. You went to Panama. It's not hot in Panama right now? It's actually beautiful.

It was beautiful there. Well, beautiful means... Why are you in Panama? It's gorgeous. It's not hot in Panama right now? It's actually beautiful. It was beautiful there. Well, beautiful means... Why were you in Panama? It's gorgeous. It's independent of temperature. Huh? Beautiful is independent of temperature. It was just like breezy. It's very small country that's surrounded by water. They love thee, baby. Hey, is Panama a third world country?

Yes or no? I don't want to say anything. No. I don't know. I don't know the metric. Don't ask me questions about things. We've moved past that term as a society. Have we? Is it old now? It's developing nations. That's it. What's the second world?

France. Second world? Is it because they don't shower? Yeah. They don't kiss each other on the side of their cheeks. Utah and New Zealand Second second world just Columbus, Ohio Italy

Pocatello all right, so you went to Panama who cares? Next it's foes close cool. I feel mr. Beast video half of viewers donor Panama is the other half from okay You don't pull the map zipper pull point of the world without country names. No Obviously, I know where Panama is where the fucking canal is. I don't. Pulp of Map is different. Pulp of Map of the world without country names? No! Obviously, I know where Panama is. It's where the fucking canal is. I don't think you would know it. I literally do. You said, and I quote, who's messy? Yeah, that's different. That's across the pond. Different.

What was the country you didn't know, though? There was a country. Fucking. Anything besides the USA? Where is? I don't know. A lot of countries. Do you think you could find Jordan on a map? Yeah, bro. That's the homie. He's like in Long Beach.

Is it the Middle East? Can you pull up a map real quick? Pull up a map. I don't need to know where I'm going to get on a plane, Aiden. You should, maybe, though. Why? I just need to know how long it takes. Think about where we were gonna go

after and then you could figure it out. Yeah, we were gonna go to Palestine. Yeah. Yeah, me and Aiden were gonna go to Palestine. We ended up not doing it. Why did you not go again? Because of COVID. Couldn't confidently book the tickets at the time. You can go now. You guys can travel the world. Yeah, not with Nick Yaling.

We wanna see where Jesus Christ died. Did he die in Palestine? No, in Jordan? I think it's in Jordan. Jordan's house. Damn, dude, the rager was that hard? Dude, Christ was crazy. Bro, Jesus fucking, dude, rest in peace.

Dude, he can make a bong out of anything. He would have fit it right in at ASU He would have He's like bro check this shit out He gets up he gets in the T-pose He dies and like 5 minutes later He just came back bro

That was always his party trick The zoomer Jesus would just Eat a bunch of Xanax and then wake up Yeah Thanks for that one. Wait, what were we talking about? The Drunk to Panama. I went to Panama.

I filmed my third Mr. Beast video. Third. That was awkward. You're his little piggy. Why is it awkward? It's just hard to film a video like that. Why? Because they literally...

Tell us about your problems. Because they chop it up so much. Is that why you aren't aware of what's going on? We are in Panama. And then the guy behind is like, we're in Panama? And the white text pops up and then that's it, bro. It's easy.

It's 24 hours of living and then they use it for 90 seconds of the video. It's just weird without giving them a spoiler for what the video was. Yeah, it's what they do. And so it's like a movie ratio. You have to kind of be weirdly on for a stretch when any moment could be used because they're like constantly filming which i find weird i'm not true the problem is that you're not always on yeah i'm always on that's not true dude he's always on what about when you're lying down on your floor and watching elden ring lore well if you had to come in and i okay

i'm not on if i'm bang if i'm not oh you what'd you say if I okay. I'm not on if I'm bang if I know you what you say if I'm Literally, I thought you were always on bro. I'm literally I just said I'm not on is this thing is this your W This is a W for me and it's crazy bold I don't know who's side to take here. They're both making good points. Oh god damn it. Well what I mean It's the same thing sure the's the same thing if i walk in if i walk into his room with a phone on i'm doing a bit he will always do the bit right i'm never gonna be like dude not now ever but but then what if the camera he was in the room for your like the whole day and i'm on just in the corner then i'm fucking on i know yes he's gonna put a

gopro in your fucking house i will film myself for 24 hours. I would love to watch a condensed version of that. Oh, that was edited down. So you want me to be Mr. Beast size format, the phase, the phase house challenge,

but it's just Anthony alone in a mansion. Yeah, that'd be tight. Yeah, I'd be on it. And I want you to upload it like nadeShot. Unedited and raw. Dude. You're unedited and raw. He's such a clown.

I can't handle it. What's the problem with Nade, man? Why are you dogging my mans? No, you're right. I'm wrong. Go ahead, Damon. Tell him. Speak your shit.

I think when it's all said and done, frosty was being a little maybe a little cringe you know it sounds oh yeah sounds like he was just a young kid with a lot of opportunity who didn't know how to take full advantage of it we're pretty behind on this one but i watched this stream explaining everything that went down and he starts it off really strong like yeah he comes out like bro i'm about to fucking break open the matrix for y'all like you guys don't realize how fucked over we got and i'm like okay i don't know i don't really know what's going on but i want to learn from you and the more he talked i was just like what i feel like you're self-snitching the one the one because he's like he's like bro telling all his business he's like

bro the contract said 95 and then nade makes a video. Here, the contract says 85. And he's like, bro, same number. That's actually a 10% difference. It's like they're at and the whole chat is like, bro, what? Those are different. It's also crazy.

He did the number one L that people do when they do like these tell-alls is he had chat. Oh, yeah. Chat is the worst. Yeah, I remember when Point Crow and Small meat were beefing yeah

and we were watching it yeah and it was like it was like yo take the fucking chat off bro you put it in emote only for your own damn point crow was like talking about his side and then chad be like well what about this and be like okay we're gonna get to that it was it was hard it just derails yeah when frost. When Frost was doing his stream, or Frost and my stream. Let's just decide it's Frosty. Frosty. Frosty.

I feel like every viewer was just a Nade fan. Because, like, every time he'd say something, he got fact-checked in, like, seconds. Well, yeah, because he had 24K viewers. That dude had 400 before. But the least you could do before you go live or start tweeting like that is fucking just say, just check your sources.

Say 85. He's like, they forced us to come to LA. It's like, oh, didn't he say, I was wondering if there was a response to this because the one thing I saw that I had sympathy for is he said that they had to move into a house that was within 10 to 15 minutes of NadeShot's house, which admittedly does

make it way more expensive because I was like, okay, you guys didn't have to move to LA. Like you could go be in fucking Ontario or something like that. Right. Yeah. And that's that or orange County, like somewhere that's a little bit cheaper at the lease. Yeah. But did they have to be within, if you had, if that is true, if they had to be that close

to Nate Schott's house, which is more in LA than then that, I can see how that fucks you a bit. Because now you're forced into a scenario where you have to pay much more rent. And there's four people living, so you can't get a small, easy place. I don't know, bro. When you're door dashing all your meals. It's interesting. I totally agree. I think getting a livable wage to be

able to not have to work at fucking McDonald's and actual work job you hate is, people would literally shoot someone in the head for that opportunity paying 60k or some shit like wasn't it pretty good but it also depends if they were like actual employees with like benefits because if you're certainly not if yeah if not then it is a little more tough i will say but like you're still getting a pretty sweet deal all all things considered. So I don't know. It's like, damn, dude, just you. The thing is, you just have to look at it like a normal human being would,

not like someone who has chosen to be a gamer from like the hand of God. I feel like it's a handout and it's not an enormous one. It's one that you can take and like leverage to build the rest of your career off of. But they were all like, yes, it's over. We've made it. What seems like one of the on and on and we're streaming we did it now we i didn't know classify was one of them like i didn't really know who the people were in the mob and until like this came up and classify kind of like popped off he he's successful now we should go we should go to 100 thieves and ask to be the mob too oh yeah it could be us be us. And they don't get

any ownership, but they get to say they're part of a funny joke that we're doing. They get to have someone that's actually funny on their content team. I made a deck one time.

Hey, Andrew's on their content team. Oh, but in front of the camera. Okay. I made a deck one time and I tried to get on 100 Thieves. Really?

Yeah, H-Rock and Stans made it for me like four years ago. When you were a baby bear? When I was a baby bear with 200 viewers. You also tried to get on a reality TV show. That was before I really even streamed. I know. I think you'd be so good on a reality TV show. I think so too, but I

did it because me and my ex, this was like five years ago, watched this dating show called Are You The One? That or Voldemort. Where everyone does like a quiz and then you are paired up with someone, you have to find who your match is in a house of like, you know,

10 guys, 10 girls. And if you get the wrong one, like, it's like... It's like a mogus. Yes. You get to find your imposter. Bro, we should make a mogus in real life. That has been done.

And everyone's got a big-ass bone in their body. Sorry to say, James Charles did it. And someone will be sus. Oh, it's like James Charles and everyone else is 16. He's the imposter. It's a room full of... Always the imposter. A room full of six-year-olds and one 19-year-old

just to find out who's who. It's just his house. Yeah. He has to find the one person that's actually gay, not straight. And he's like, I keep losing. That's the thing. They're all straight. Oh, man.

Yeah, so I applied. Games, Charles. Go on. Dude, nice. You really do have it all, don't you? I applied for the game show, the reality show that we watched after we broke up, and then they hit me up, they hit me back.

And they were like, because I posed it, because you need a story, and I was like like I'm an online gamer did you send in like a video thing or like was it written I think it was mostly written and then you needed pictures and then I think like a minute video I want to read that I would love to see the video yo what's up my name is Ludwig Ogren I would totally love to be friends call me Ders But the friends call me Ders. After this period.

You guys don't even know what I was calling you. You could have been our generations, Ken. I did call you Ders. Yeah, I remember Breslin. Breslin, Ders, Cathy, and Fuckface. We called him Fuckface. That guy was a train wreck. He was not in a good... That was Dale.

Bam Margera's rap name is Fuckface Unstoppable. That's a good one You know what I want I'm going to look at the camera for this Rob Dyrdek I know you're watching Get Ludwig on Ridiculousness This is my one time That'd be hype

It's all I want This is your one time I've not used my one time I'm not keeping anyone's one time in my I want Ludwig on ridiculousness And I want him to meet Chanel West Cone Dude, you smoke weed with Chanel West Cone. I want you to do I want you to stand up I want you to run over to steal O'Brien while he's slowing something down. I want you to see what he's doing I want a pro outproof. I want to know oh proof that he's actually doing it. How is he putting graphics

on the screen? I'll find out. He's like the computer. That's what I want. Rob Dyrdek. Everyone blow up Rob Dyrdek. Rob Dyrdek. Also, are you bald? Hashtag Ludwig on ridiculousness.

Is there a rat under it? It's always a big flat brim cap and are you bald? Are you bald, but wondering is there a rat under it like it's always a big flat brim cap and you like are you bald are you bald but is there still a rat who's doing nothing there's a rat that's just i'm just wondering if there's rats in here the rats just stare like i used to do so much it's all gone i can no longer work rats autopiloting but the guy's going bald and they're it's fracturing the relationship yeah he's because the rat's cold and every time he pulls a hair it pulls out that is kind of sad ratatouille can't happen for bald guys yeah it's bald if he hasn't do they all have controllers yeah they just have

to fucking actually maybe they play it like the bongos maybe that's the way it works but even then it's got to be annoying what's up you guys might have noticed my sock is off and that's the way it works But even then It's gotta be annoying What's up You guys might have noticed My sock is off And that's because When the sock come off Oh gosh What

I looked at your foot What's wrong with my foot Dude That's you No it's discolored Stop Stop You need socks for that

I hope you're wearing Underwear too I got you What I can cover him with me undies Oh They sent us underwear And we're gonna put him on his feet like a little like a little like a spin a wiener Nick oh, it's like a little

Ridiculous why would you cover his feet? Well? I haven't opened it, but I'm gonna I'm gonna sub I'm excited because they always send us fun little cool stuff, and I'm me undies all they sell is underwear Nick Oh Lovely things all they sell is underwear that's funny because they don't they sell you The thing- Lovely things always sell is underwear. That's funny because they don't. They sell you bralettes, which could also go on my feet, but also socks, which do go on your feet, normal-wise. They also give you new colors and patterns each week. It's Tiffany colored.

And it's Tiffany colored. That must be someone that works there, which is cool. Tiffany blue. Yeah, this is her skin. She's been Ted a while. Uh, oh! Undie time! We're gonna put them on your feet now. Put them on my foot. No, slide it on sexual style. Well, don't slide it on. I'm not giving you mish after this.

All right. I'm going to go crazy. That looks like something you guys want to be part of. You guys can get 20% off on your first purchase with free standard shipping and free returns when you go to meundies.com forward slash the yard. Yes, sir. Meundies.com forward slash the yard. Yes, sir. Meundies.com forward slash the yard. And you can get up to 20% off?

Yeah, but only on their underwear, socks, and bralettes. Here's the thing about the underwear, socks, and bralettes from MeUndies that are made from human skin sometimes maybe. We can't know. But it's that the fabric is sustainable. Dude, this is freaking stretchy. You know what it is? You know what it is? What is it? It's stretchy as heck. It's stretchy

as crud. As crud and as I'm freaking losing my mind right now. Check this out. This is what you're actually. Let me see. Let me see. Oh my god. That's freaking stretchy. It's because they use signature micromodal fabric.

Mr. Krabs could wear these. That is sustainable, breathable, Let me have it, let me have it. You can get it in small, large, or 4XL. Don't put your shoes in there. Why is he 4XL? You've seen the picture. I have seen the picture. Anyway, it's 100% satisfaction guaranteed when you go to meundies.com forward slash the yard and get 20% off.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. If you guys want to support me undies, you know, fucking run it, baby. You know what I'm thinking? Maybe I'm not going to save money on underwear. Wait, nobody. Let me see it. Let me see it right now. Hold on.

Let me see it real quick. Oh, my God. It's right behind me, isn't it? You're being so freaking crazy right now. You're being so freaking crazy. Did they want us to fucking have it right behind me, isn't it? Oh my... Dude.

Turn around. Anyway, so check out meundies.com forward slash the yard. If the underwear is there, then where are you? Who's driving the boat? Oh, we should go back to the podcast. Oh, man. We can't win win me and rob can't win you and rob together me and rob back against the wall back against the wall doing 360 flips and being bald and old you'll never do a 360 flip in your life me ever you'll die never doing it ever don't say that really i I'm trying to incite you

whoa it does light a fire I started thinking immediately don't you guys want to do it right now? I could grind what is a 360 flip? it's a so it's

the board spins 360 yeah and you also kickflip it so it does like a like a it's if you've seen the Disney Channel original movie Cloud 9

it's one of those the varial with an extra spin so what was I gonna say? have you you Channel original movie Cloud 9, it's one of those. The Vario with an extra spin. What was I going to say? You haven't seen Cloud 9? I've never seen Cloud 9. We watched it last night. It's crazy. Yeah, it's fucking terrible.

It's like a world where every man hates women. And all they want to do is snowboard. Is it like Disney Channel, but Disney Channel's teeth? Have you seen teeth? No, teeth is the one with the girl and the vagina. Yeah, well, every man in the movie is evil. No, basically the movie's about, what's her name? Dove Cameron, who's apparently famous.

She's got a million Instagram followers. She has like 40 million Instagram followers. It's crazy. I know her. Oh, there you go. Who, how do you? Brunette? No.

Did she go the Gwyneth? She's blonde in the movie, but did she go the Gwyneth route? Like, does she have like a makeup company or something? We don't know. We can't figure it out. We tried really hard. No, we didn't try really hard. I think she, yeah, she teaches people how to like put eggs in their vagina into yoga, which

is kind of like makeup. They make wax vaginas. It's makeup for the soul. Can you show me Dove and your vagina? Is she a singer now? Like she has music? Yeah, either way. She's like a really successful, like, yeah, this is her. Anyway, she was in a Disney movie

called Cloud Nine. Mango's not even in it. Yeah, which is fucked up. And the movie's about how So she, the movie starts out and she's like, I'm a snowboarder, but I'm a girl in a league of a lot of guys, but I snowboard in the girl category, but I'm goaded and I win competitions and you're kind of like dope decom establishing that women can do sports that's good because they don't usually do that and then fast forward like 10 minutes you it's revealed that everyone in the movie is trolling her and all her competitions are

fake and there's not actually any women competing against her and then she hasn't actually won anything ever and her and her dad who's the the ceo in better call saul true is like yeah you actually suck at that and she's like and she cries it's pretty crazy then she works at a dog store instead of snowboarding where she beats her dream boy who's a goaded snowboarder but he went for the cloud nine which is a big move and he did an epic fail and that's what they called it stop stop so you just watch the movie it's very exciting it could just be it could just be a real move they could just say an actual one dude it was there's no way the move the moves they're saying in the movie are real yeah it's weird like they they just could have i was joking like they could have just talked to someone who

snowboards because they could have goog I was joking. They could have just talked to someone who snowboards. Because they could have Googled snowboard. Because real snowboard moves also have ridiculous names. So you could just use a real one. Like the McTwist. Maybe they made this move and it's real now. You know what though? They said method in it. And that's a real move.

They didn't say method. That's a real move. And we're not based. Offer a suggestion. No. No suggestions from you. I just would have blown your mind. I'm just kidding.

I want to hear it. It's to every time you watch a decom do a decom explained in a minute and you recap the whole thing in a minute oh and then you can release that and one of us and one of us is trying to pick a bunch of spaghetti out of our pocket and put in our pockets in the background yeah the winner so we both do it at the same time and the winner who gets the spaghetti in their pocket and describes the decom in a minute wins are you both talking at the same time yes yes i like the idea less why do you like we should do more confusing we should bring back off the sticks and we should put it in the patreon yo that'd be insane that'd be that'd be crazy instead of it how long was it again shit like an hour it's an hour We just make it like

three minutes and it's like a segment. It's like a small segment. It'd be such a shell of what it once was which was already bad. I think it'd be great. Better in the yard. I think that... I think when you're right, you're right. You made it right.

I'm right, baby. My prize moment in that show was the grenade launcher joke, which I really thought was funny. And also the, I don't remember this. It was when we did fake sponsors and one of them was, uh, we like,

or no, we were doing a merch drop and it was the off the sticks and two, four, nine grenade launcher. And you went, Oh, and I thought that was really funny. I like vitamin uncle.

Vitamin uncle vitamin uncle's next favorite but i did this like i i wrote this like madman-esque speech about melee like at the end of one of the episodes and it i i think i re-watch it it doesn't sound good because the sound was shit but i uh i like that that was my favorite you like your speech yeah um what was i gonna say there yeah that's the opposite i also I would pick, like, that name of this episode, Pattern Against User, is from an At The Drive-In song. So, like, I was just always in this shit, like, trying to make it, like, special and artistic before, like...

That's back when you could get cute. Look at my hair! Wow. I look the same. Slime Hat hair? Oh! Slime Hat with heavy hair looks like he's cursed! That's funny. That's how you fucking, all of you sound funny some i my dms i'd be friends with those people

god it talks like that'd be dope i get my dms having getting better i got that prison one and someone sent me an image of eddie from eddie Dollar Cook-Off, another Disney movie, throwing up blood in a Jimmy John's. That's pretty much all you can ask for. Why are you fussing your DMs getting better when you tweeted out a guy basically telling you to kill yourself? Because that was funny because it was on the YouTube comments.

I guess it's different. There's literally someone saying, I wish he didn't follow the instructions from the police. It's funny because there's someone i think taking the defense of the police but also saying yeah they can probably kill you if you do one wrong move which is like weird to believe both the implication is that they wish i did the wrong move right and that like a wrong move would set them off to kill yeah and they would have been like that was also tight. But also to respect them still. Yeah. If they do do that

come on. Like they're trying out there. They're trying their dangest. Oh man. What were you going to say? What were you going to say? It's too much about me

right now. I want it to be about you. Did it have to do with 100 themes? No. Okay. What did you do today? Damon?

I didn't grind. No you didn't. Didn't grind. What is grind? What are you do today, Damon? I didn't grind. No, you didn't. Didn't grind. What is grind? What are you talking about? I'm like grind set like Nate and everybody else on Twitter. You weren't. Grind set mindset.

I will say every single person Aiden has ever met at like influencer things or like hanging out with people like, you know, when we go to like big parties and stuff he'll on the drive home evil stuff he says about that every time what the fuck like evil things when he first met Minx he wouldn't stop shitting on the Irish as a whole

the whole country and then some yeah and I said I looked her in the eyes before we left the restaurant I said the british occupation should have never ended and she didn't take that well for some reason well she seems like a bit of a hot button issue yeah she did honestly she did overreact she definitely didn't take it well because i think she's been caught on stream being like i'm down with the nra the nra ira, she said both.

NRA supporter and IRA. She's like, first of all, the NRA. They're not the same. She's like, let's bring the NRA to the IRA. Is there someone in that Venn diagram that isn't mixed? Oh, 100%, right? Like, the NRA, because it's just gun rights. Is there a chill to joke about? Honestly, no.

Okay. Because I don't know anything. Honestly, I don't think so. We'll put a lid on it. Irish people? To be clear, I'm joking that that would be an atrocious thing to say because it's not. It was a fucked up conflict. Ludwig introduced this joke into the ecosystem, so he is to blame.

So more Uru art. Let's check in with Nick Allen. I want my... Hold on. I want to get to this. I want to get to this. I want my last piece. I want my last piece i want my

last piece because i i actually i i really i really respect a lot of the things that hundred thieves have done and that nadeshot has done but something that i thought was really really funny when everybody was talking to like posting the nadeshot like grind set clips and stuff and nades talking about like i we were streaming 12 hours a day we uploaded every day it's like i i felt like am i the only one that remembers what those youtube videos were it's like it was him and the optic guys and they would upload unedited gameplay of cod every day yeah at some point that became grinding at some point playing video games all day was grinding yeah that's what streaming used to be right like back in the day streaming used to just be who can do the most hours i feel and

i understand because you could do it back then and people watched and that was great and i'm not i'm not even faulting him for doing that but i think it's like it's very funny to like romanticize that now from like this more modern era of streaming because it's like bro if you post unedited cod gameplay like pomage was on Twitter saying the same thing and I'm like dude I watched your videos and you just upload like a lobby of you playing COD 10 minutes and that was your YouTube video. I'm from Pomage

so he made backing up we're eating Donahue's hitting trick shots it's just when the grind is like clicking and dragging gameplay into Premiere and then clicking render,

I just think that's funny. I will say the goat still does that, Northern Lion. Does not edit any of his videos. Yeah. Do you think that's grind set or do you think he's goaded?

He's on that grind set mindset. Okay, wait. Is it, so it's funny because the irony is now that everyone thinks that's what you're supposed to do

and melee players are fucking miserable at this smash players are the worst every time i talk to a melee player and they're like they'll like it'll be about the stream and this and that and like how are they supposed to grow and it's like oh my god like cody will be like i'm just putting in like fucking 13 hour 14 hour streams and like you know that like i'm doing it's like dude that doesn't mean anything it's it's you can put it in terms they understand where it's like, okay, what if you just ran around with Fox and DoubleShined literally for 14 hours? Do you think you'd get good at the game?

For Cody, it does work because he's on his fourth sub-a-thon, so he's getting paid for every hour. That is crazy. And it's paying. It is paying. It is paying. He's on his fourth sub-a-thon? He does sub-a-thons a lot. I feel like you're just streaming. Stop sub-a-thoning. You're just streaming. I mean, he's making money. It's like every day you go live with a subathon that ends in four hours

that's actually it's like yo tomorrow you see when it ends you can sleep eight hours but you have to start again someone subs it adds three hours to the stream it's like fuck no but yeah it's this idea of like time in equals fucking payout bro and it's like no you have to be actually watchable on twitch that's why people can have a hundred thousand followers on twitch and it doesn't mean i think what's fair is it used to work like like nate and scump and those guys who hit the prime era of like you could do that in in like 2014 and it and that was content back then but I feel like now there's just higher

expectations for everything and melee players are still in the mindset of like bro if I just like stream for 10 hours and turn this into a highlighted YouTube video it's like I better get my 10k views why can't it work here's the reality it doesn't even really work for me you just gotta get to the top then you can do it yeah

I don't even do lyric like lyric doesn't have really work for me you just gotta get to the top then you can do it yeah I don't even do lyric like lyric doesn't have a big youtube channel no but mogul mail unedited yeah but you like that's not no is that even true yeah I've never edited it you plan out the sequence like you bring out you bring up stuff you like

not being gameplay is important yeah true and also it's your personality too I used to do it on my vod channel I used to upload unedited super auto pets vods for about an hour yeah and it would catch fucking they get 100k a pop it was yeah that's fucking insane that was a great like three month period that was old minecraft youtube used to be like that too like old minecraft videos were just like syndicate playing like episode 300 of the fucking Let's Play. And now, at least the big Minecraft YouTubers, it's hyper-edited and kind of interesting, if not

instilling ADHD into the children. We should make a Call of Duty montage. I'm down for that. You down? We should do the film festival, 48-hour film festival, but for Call of Duty montages. And all the Yardigans can be involved. Wait, this is actually the best idea you've ever had. That is

hurtful. I love this idea. Patreon exclusive COD montage contest. What COD? How do you even? We just call it that. It could be any game. Oh really? It's actually Fortnite. Yeah, I agree. It's a Fortnite only. Trackmania? We pick the game on

a random wheel the day of the contest. That way no one can prepare clips That is kind of hype So back in the day There was a contest called Clash of Clans And you had to wear a specific clan tag To get all your clips

And you only had a certain period of time And this was a thing That's pretty cool Just thought of this idea. We should do this well No one none of us are gonna organize it and it'll never know we're not off. I'll actually organize it You'll never do 360 I will say on the trade side where my favorite trade flip fuck favorite YouTube videos ever Is that one fucking pomage edit that you make HD? Yeah, that that is fucking insane when you told me how people make stuff like that

I was my mind was blown Yeah, that is fucking insane. When you told me how people make stuff like that, my mind was blown. Look, NickyHD is like eight rats inside of a body. Not a real person. It's like a bunch of people in a trench coat. The rats aren't physically big. This means nothing to no one, but real ones know. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, FazeFakey got game, for sure. For real. FazeFakey. F-R. F-R-F-R. I love that guy. Shout out FazeFake game for sure. For real. Face Fakie. F-R. F-R-F-R. I love that guy. Shout out Face Fakie. Legend.

He's still around. Is he still around? We can get Face Fakie on the podcast. That's crazy. I've told Ludwig this, but I met him a long time ago. We were Xbox Live friends. And we met because we were the only two people

in our circles that had the camera that comes with one of the games from Xbox. So we could send pictures in Xbox to each other. Oh, it was like the Game Boy camera. As messages. And so we'd do it all the time. You send each other your meat ever? No, it was mostly trying to get a photo jumping in air

and laying down flat while still falling. You ever take a picture of your shmeet? In my life? Yeah. Yeah, when I was like 16. You sent your meat across the airwaves? Yeah, to like a girlfriend.

Yeah. And it's gone now, I hope. Really? Why? Because I was 16. And it's illegal to have. Oh, yeah. I'm not saying like from,

it's definitely gone from like my library. Can you get arrested for your own underage dick pic? No. That would be be that would be clown mode that'd be funny though that would be crazy maybe jared just had two terabytes of himself have you ever thought of that someone at the fbi is cross-checking and it's like no look the birth mark actually wow you actually unlocked a memory i actually just realized why i never did it again

because so it was an it was an ex-girlfriend, and, you know, we're all using Snapchat, so it's self-destructing images. You're so young. And, yeah, I had Snapchat in high school. And, you know, I sent my shmeet. Was it hard shmeet? It was hard shmeet.

You know, it's like, hey, check out my girlfriend. The most I've ever touched Nick, by the way. I've only sent one picture of my soft shmeetness to him. And I wasn't saying this, but anyway. So I send it. What did you use to get hard? My hand. Really?

Yeah, just beat up. You didn't look at something? No, just beat off. You were just beating off looking at the wall. I think. I don't know. It was a long time ago. It was like 10 years ago.

You were looking at the You were looking at the Fucking action figures On your wall You were looking at My monster fat head I had And my psycho nods poster He went 0 to 1 Like Peter Thiel

Just by beating it And so she sent one back Cause Of her dick Cause I'm a real street soldier Sure yeah And uh But instead of

Sending it to me She accidentally sent it To her mom No And it was the worst Day of my life Oh my to her mom no and it was the worst day of my life oh my god that's so embarrassing it was the worst day of my life I feel so bad for her and it wasn't even my fault

but I feel like I got blamed for it like her mom was like this boy is making my daughter send yeah he's like telling my daughter to send his I mean I never did it again did I ever tell you guys about this this happened in my school. High school, a couple kids

that were like two years younger than I was and they were either freshmen or sophomores in high school. And I, you know, the town that I went to high school in, pretty small and very conservative, especially for Washington. And the guy famously,

apparently, in his grade, I didn't know, had a very large dick, and girls wanted to see it. But you never feasted your eyes on this. And I never feasted my eyes. Yeah. You never feasted on that peep. Dang. What a shame, though.

Take a bite! That's a big first bite. That's a big first bite! That's a big first bite. That's a big first bite. That's a big first bite. That's a big first bite. But there was a girl who wanted to see it, and she sent nudes to him. He sends nudes back. I love a clandestine operation between all the girls.

Like, we need to see this. Who's willing to step up? Who's willing to sacrifice to the cause? Who shows teats? to see this yeah who's willing to sacrifice it to the cause parents found out and they're really mad that she that he has done this to their daughter right her little cherry that she with you you meant to say something yeah you meant to say something else and you said that it's a weird move on

it's always something with you I'm a concuss from the fish I'm barely thinking straight to you but

her parents are so so mad that their poor daughter has been victimized right which is not the case

it's like two 14 year olds like mutually exchanging something which I'm not saying 14-year-olds should do that. Just to be clear. Yeah, it's not like a fucking... But that's what happened. And then they wanted to

charge him for child pornography. Wait, wait, this guy was 14? But then his parents... What? I thought this was way older. This guy was 14 and known for having a big penis? Yeah, they were like 14 or 15. Sometimes you're born a legend. I just think it's weird that they... This is way older. This guy was 14 and known for having a big penis? Yeah, they were like 14 or 15. That's crazy.

Sometimes you're born a legend. Like Breslin. I said you were like freshman or sophomore year. I just think it's weird that they... is known and got around that early. Did you not hear the rumors in the quad about Breslin's cock? No one... Dude, Breslin?

And nobody will ever see that cock again. That's what's sad. Dragapod Breslin. That's what's sad. That's what they called him. That's what we called him. We called him a film student. He was mass comm. So that was crazy.

Carbon fiber. You take it on a plane. I remember we peed on his dance car. Name the three campuses of Arizona State. Why would we name three if we were only at one? What one were you at? Smart campus. The one with like the grades.

I was at the... I was at Sun Devil Square. Sun Devil Square. Otherwise known as the Quad. It's like a fucking Mario Kart DS map. No, but... Well, the only thing I remember about Breslin's giant penis is that he had those ladies on a leash. Woohoo!

Shit. Tempe Campus. It's based off the city. That's not true. Tempe. That's literally not true. It's literally true. No. It's true. Tempe is actually short for temperature because it's hot in Arizona. That's not true. No, that's where it comes from. It's a Latin root. Tempe means hot.

That's a lie. But it can be a cold temperature. That's what Urcher means. I literally messaged someone you went to college with. I said, here's a time stamp to verify that this is true. I literally messaged someone you went to college with. I said, here's a timestamp. Verify that this is true. Said, fuck Breslin's dad, piggy emoji.

And I loved the quad. They had dominoes and a Qdoba. Bro, Qdoba went off. It wasn't quite Chipotle. But they had the bowl that was made of tortillas. It was not a quad. It was called a memorial union. Well, I mean. Oh, we turned that shit to a memorial union. We were hitting kills left and right. Well, I mean- Oh, we turned that shit to a memorial union. That's how it hit, bro.

We were hitting kills left and right. Also, ACAB, pussy. I don't give a shit about memorializing shit, bro. Why? I hit the Queso from the Qdoba, shit was live. Why does that have to do with ACAB? Because you're- All Quesos are based-

Who are you memorializing? The union. Fuck unions. Fuck unions. What? Yeah. Bust them. I'll say it.

Bust them, Sun Devils Who's busting unions? I feel like if you work at a grocery store You shouldn't get bit to be part in a club, too You shouldn't have a cool club What a weirdly mixed political ideology I don't like the police But I would like the incoming social workers to bust the unions

I think the Punisher logo looks cool And I just, I don't like what it stands for I like crossing the picket fence But I don't like what it stands for. I like crossing the picket fence, but I don't like the police stopping me from crossing. I want the Punisher to kill union bosses. I think we're literally describing libertarians, by the way,

which is kind of funny. We arrived at it ironically. Yeah. And you were talking about... Anyway. Do you think we could get Rand on the podcast? We could get Rand. I thought that guy...

I always thought people were talking about Ron Paul, but they were just misspelling his name on purpose for fun. He was just a different guy. I also thought that for a while. Carl Jacobs got Mark Cuban on his podcast. That is crazy. Isn't that crazy? That's a huge pull.

He looks like shit nowadays. What ended with? Sorry, yeah, yeah. So it was a stalemate because they tried to charge him with child pornography, right? That's what the parents were willing to do because they were so upset that this has happened. But then

the other, the guy's parents were just like, okay, we will charge your daughter with the same thing if you do that. And then no charges were filed on the other side. They got us there, huh? And then the parents said, do it. Yeah, they said run it.

Let's put our kids in jail for the other girls out there uh yeah there was a story i don't know if this is true it could be an old wives tale but playing soccer growing up there was a kid in like bedford or souhegan new hampshire who uh who peed like in the forest outside a field and a police officer walked up it's like high school soccer caught him wrote him up and then he got charged as a sex offender for public indecency because this so this really happened because every every like school has a rumor about this i don't that's what i don't know it's a very common rumor that i think it probably has happened but it gets passed around to like

basically as a cautionary tale don't pee outside because then you'll have to go door to door when you move places. It wasn't until I was like literally out of my home. I don't think I can stop peeing if a cop approached me. I would hold it in. No, I'm saying if I'm already midstream, I think I got to finish. You don't pinch? I've proved myself. Pinching is hard.

I did it when I peed on the floor. You pinched? Yeah. Good man. I liked pinching ever since I watched the movie Get Smart. They have a scene with Steve Carell where he's overhearing a conversation of two Russian assassins. And he pauses mid-piss to listen. And then they hear him stop peeing.

So he keeps going. That's kind of like Austin Powers. Yeah, it's the opposite of Austin Powers. He has to keep peeing because he's behind a fountain that's peeing. And the fountain gets turned off. I love Austin Powers. Et cetera. The first time I sent me... I don't know if I about groovy baby before yeah groovy baby yeah randy baby yeah what is that what you wanted me to do yeah i i feel calm

you do yeah it's like dude austin powers yoga i Can you do some Austin Powers ASMR? It's like one hour of Austin Powers uninterrupted saying, yeah, baby, yeah. There's a Soulsborne YouTuber who does lore, and he redid all of his audio with like quietly, like he quietly says it, with like rain, and it's lore to sleep to. It's actually pretty funny. Wow. But the views are shit. That guy, corpse husband. Yeah. It's actually pretty funny. Wow. But the views are shit. That guy, corpse husband. Yeah.

It's so more gut, lord of blood. But no, the first meet I ever sent, I don't know if I talked about this before, but it was this girl I was talking to. I was 19 at the time. We didn't have camera phones too good back then. Yeah. The dove had to carry like a bunch of photos. Yeah.

I did. I had my Samsung Alias, which makes me think we have talked about this because i've talked about that phone and you would always roast me but i'm on my samsung alias i'm talking to this girl and she's like you know send me a pic of your meat and i was like i was like all right she said no she said i don't know send your hog send your send your dirty old pig she said she was ahead of her time she said eggplant emoji yeah like the words set it out yeah yeah were like, don't know what that is. Think it means. Do you want to see my wiener?

Yeah. That's a Samsung alias too. So it was actually. You had this phone? That was E-ink. And when you changed it, the letters changed. And so like. Oh, I remember that.

Oh, so it's like a Kindle. Yeah. On the buttons. Oh man, that was a fucking great phone. So I, so I send her my meat and uh and she just responds nice cock and i received that and i was like oh like a like a ddr like yeah marvelous yeah yeah i think the only time i've told this was on a patreon episode but my first one was was uh the end of last year oh the one that you showed

you on the show what yeah the one that i showed you guys on the show oh yeah that's my first one ever i've never sent one before that great meet he's got great meat right me i can see what classy classy me i would reply nice cock to that hey nice cock thanks did i tell you guys about that one time that i horny texted and i

and i sent it by accident yes you did wait like you were... No, you mean to send it? Down bad text. Down bad text. And he was like typing out like his feelings for somebody. But you didn't want to send it. And you didn't want to send it.

No, I just wanted to write him out. Why would you type it in the chat with them? I don't know. Because it's like a little bit of risk, you know? Oh, you're a little boner? I used to always run this joke to stream. You get a little pee-pee hard and you start touching it? No.

Stop calling it that. I'm a 27-year-old man. You're a 27-year-old man with a little pee-pee? With a little peepee hard and you start touching it. Can you stop calling it that 27 year old man? You're 27 and with a little peepee. So what you did is this year. Oh, no. No, no, sorry. Yeah It was a little peepee that cuz yeah, it's good. It's grown. I Put it in water like a little pills you get the grocery store I used to tell Chad that I would only ever jerk off on the stream setup with OBS

on and the mouse hovered over the start streaming just so I could risk it all because I like the thrill feel something yeah I like that digital asphyxiation yeah digital asphyxiation except people just get to see your fucking vinegar strokes oh by the way Hassan ignored my message

what was that? what are you doing? hello fucking loser I also have a Hasan ghost on the phone and it was from a few months ago because I saw a clip of him talking about

he was watching this video one of those videos where somebody goes up to people and it's like what do you do for a living how would you recommend people like become a millionaire and he's like reviewing a highlight video of those type of tiktoks and i uh this guy is interviewing a pilot and hasan's like do pilots do pilots make that much money he like doesn't believe that like pilots make money basically and i said him uh also saw a clip of you watching millionaires being interviewed on tiktok and you said something about pilots not being millionaires it's pretty fucked up but old captains for international

carriers will make like five hundred thousand dollars a year the pay discrepancy between them and people doing domestic flights is insane uh and i was just like dropped in this fun fact about pilots making money no response take a snapshot take a look pick it'll last longer he's bald too what's up hasan shit you can you can bond because you're both you're talking about mess uh zipper can you pull can you pull up my contraption not my contraption but the photo of the contraption I sent you. We were filming a video with Ludwig for his channel. I don't want to leak what it is, but I want to leak this, which is us trying to light a blunt with a flashlight. Yeah.

This is one of the funniest contraptions that we ever had to build. It was good that Ryan was on the scene here. Oh, yeah, because otherwise we wouldn't have had the blunt. Ryan is a decorated and champion weed smoker. It didn't work. Really? No, it sucks. It was a failure. We spent a lot of hours on it. Arguably too many. Really? Me and Ludwig are

laying down on a filthy floor. And we're in a very, I don't want to spoil the video, but in a very dangerous way trying to light a blunt with our hands now. We're just holding it and we're in front of the magnifying glass yeah and uh and Ludwig is just like going come on come on fucking light come on

just like Tom Hanks and fucking uh goddamn castaway yeah that shit that shit as a kid was pretty fun trying to catch things on fire with a magnifying glass when ants little heads crack like little pebbles.

I never nailed an ant. I can never forget it. I got to burn wood a couple times when I thought that was fun. Yeah, they like pop. It's fucked up. I think that's why I'm all fucked up right now. I don't kill insects anymore. I don't even like killing spiders. Me neither. I let them out.

Except when I poured mouthwash on that one just to see if it would work. Obviously, though, right? Why? You wanted to have brown teeth? I just thought... You mean it would work? I was literally holding my mouthwash, saw it, was like, whoa,

and then silently poured it on the spider. Do you pick him up now? Yeah, he's gone. And spiders, do you see them? You pick them up? Oh, yeah, I'll send them outside. Or if they're far enough away from me, I'll just leave them alone. I just let them vibe.

Yeah. Just like live in the house. Yeah, if I get evil. But if I wake up with a bite, it's on site. True. Respect my, my face. Yeah, I really recommend, bro, you can't bite me and then expect me not to retaliate. Respect my zone.

There's a food chain. But if you, if we're being roommates, yeah, it's chill. Whatever. Pay your little spider rent, eat some bugs you know the bidet is in my room you can use it if you want replace toilet paper i have to do that a bidet no wipe yeah just come with someone please in the house buy mangoes and buy fucking toilet paper i I bought some. Zipper's clapping right now. I bought some. Here's the thing. But it has a dry feature.

The dry feature, it's not good enough. It's not. And the dry feature is good enough. You always said, oh, just don't wipe. And it's like, fucking don't talk to me like that.

Wait, what? He's French. He doesn't care that he has a dirty ass. That is true. That's how you're all born. That's what they say in food. They make sure they ferment it. They squeeze their cheeks together.

Don't do this. It's called le cruste. Le cruste. It's like how you say frosty, but it's crusty. You're just talking about the... That's where crustacean comes from. Crusette. They make like the...

Crusette? Yeah. You didn't know who Vercingetorix was, so don't fucking speak to me. I don't know who that is. That's fine. He should know, though. Because he was 95. 95, baby.

Did you say Jedi Mind Tricks? What did you say? Yeah Yeah them and Jurassic 5 Vinny Paz for the podcast French people are just more bold They'll use a bidet

And then just use their hand To credit card through their cheeks No They don't do that They do do that Are they taking sniffs? Oh No

Why would you need to? Sniff It's a bit of a sniff Sniff my boob Are they taking sniffs? Oh, no. Why would you need to? It's a bit of a sniff. It's a sniff my poop. Why would you need to? Because we have such filthy people. It's disgusting. No.

None of you guys have seen End of Z World. It's like one of the first, like, Flash videos. Oh, I might have seen that. It sounds familiar. I thought about it anyway. Um, i was getting fucking cooked in the discord oh my god bro i have seen this this is a right yeah no no no no no no yeah i was getting cooked up a little bit and i well you guys remember when slime was wondering why it would make a clapping sound. For Backshot?

For Backshot. He was like, what are Backshots? I just didn't know the slang. How do you make it clap? And then someone in the call said Mish, and he's like, what's Mish? Yeah, Dawson was like, yeah, you're just fucking the Mish, just talking about how it's the fucking best.

And I didn't know what that meant. Yeah, Slime. You didn't pick that up? And then he went on to describe why missionary is king and why it's the best and only way to have sex. I didn't say the only. I literally didn't say the only. He was like.

I did not. Slimes are the colony of those fellas. Just let me. But doggy style, the dick can't go in. No, god damn it. I was getting shit from the whole Discord. Everyone's lighting me up because I was saying, I was like, oh, Mish. Yeah, Mish rules.

He's like, Mish is the best and only. I didn't say the only. I said it's the best for a reason. It's the reason it's the default. I said there's a reason it's the default. And I fucking stand by that. And they were all making fun of me. That's sad.

And I just wanted to I wanted to you you gentle yardigans for her pleasure am I wrong? no dude I bet you do it great and it's funny when Aiden said today if you guys had pussies I could eat you would love me

that was really funny and I was like that's what I was saying to the guys last night I was like if that's what I was saying to the guys last night. I was like, if you guys... No, yeah, you were saying, I wish you guys all had pussy so I could take you,

I could show you the world. I wish I could take you and I would fuck you all so good. I would fuck you in one position so well for a while. I would give you

30 minutes of missionary and you'd be on your knees after be really easy to talk because we'd be looking at each other we don't gaze we could kiss while doing it we can kiss and that also share little little messages I may be vanilla but i think that it's again i i don't think i've ever gotten any complaints it's like uh do you think that you would though yeah it's like unless i feel like you're egregiously bad you know you know like the spot on your skate shoes that's worn down because that's where you always break that's like nick i know that's like the top of

any girl you're dating's vagina because it's the only part Is great because when you pass them the note that says will you date me yes You like me circle one The car future came out he wrote his own book just one position the Akama Sutra abridged Found the spark does it come as you You going to want to look her in the eyes And thrust Not that I'm like an eye looker

You don't even look at her? I mean I'm a visual guy You're doing mission not looking at her? I mean obviously I'm looking at her That's bad He has to say mission accomplished Why am I wrong here? I think that generally you're never wrong in your sexual exploration.

Why am I wrong? You should only do what you're comfortable with. That's not to say I only do mish. I'm just saying mish is pretty great. Yeah, it's great. Why are you laughing? I just think it comes off as like your bed has a girl side Look, I'll jump. It's the bed part cuz you're always on top

That's not true I think being that exclamatory about missionary comes off as like I'm just saying I got shit for it But for one I got shit for it cuz I didn't know the shorthand for it So if I like if I'm really about mish I't know the shorthand for it. Of mish. So if I'm really about mish, I should know the shorthand for it. You have too much sex to not know that, dude. What the fuck? You've had a lot of sex, and I think it's also on the back of not knowing what making a clap is,

which we get why you don't know that now. Because you're only doing mish. No, I just didn't know it. Back shots, it's hard to make it clap when you do mish. But her butt cheeks are touching the cushions on the bed because she's been on her back for an hour and a half. She says they change positions, they just move on the bed. So the funniest part of this was very much only to me

was Mike's name the next day in the Discord, which he had changed to The Lion, meaning lying, The Mish, and The Bored Hose, which I said I think that's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. the lion, meaning lying, the mish, and the board hose. Which I said I think that's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Even though it was at my expense and I think I'm right. All the other walls are just

unrendered. They're the pink checkers from CSGO. Look, I'll jump back in your camp. I'll jump back in your camp. We've made fun of you, man. I think when you love the person, missionary is great. Missionary's great.

I don't love anyone. So your defense is... God damn you, Eamon. He's trying to defend you and you're arguing against him. He's trying to corner me. No, he's trying to defend you by saying missionary's a sweet position. He's ironically defending me. Lay me down.

Look at me. Tell me the truth. How do you feel? Look me in the eyes and tell me how you feel. I don't understand why I am in the wrong. Picture him. He's starfishing it.

I just want to hear what you got to say. What? That wouldn't quite be missionary. That'd be the starfish. Which is its own different move. Less pleasurable. More of a mish guy keep it mish keep it simple

I don't like they started putting ribs on condoms that's when I started dipping out of the whole sex thing condoms are great I don't understand I'll dig it Saturday can we talk about how you have been mumbling lines from American Psycho all day like a fucking idiot? Let's check in how Nick Allen mishes.

It's like you just walked out of a time door from 2013. I forget why I was doing it. You're just enjoying the fact that you can insert Nick Allen for any line that has to do with Paul Allen. Yeah, but what I was also doing, I was saying like, let's take a look at Aiden's cock. Yeah. Let's see Paul Allen's cock. White eggshell. Oh my god.

Oh my god. The foreskin sleeve. The uncut tip. Is that a subtle blue vein? Beautiful. When we're both in the Doritos Locos Tacos Gaming Center and Aiden's working, he is non-responsive. True.

So I just talk to him. Because it was fucking working today. You and Yingling wouldn't be fucking chirping. No, it was different today. It was different today, bro. I'm trying. I actually have a time frame where I need to get shit done. And him and Yingling have been talking for maybe an hour about just nothing.

And every other sentence, they try to pull me into the conversation. I'm like, Ludwig, what do you think I'm doing right now? I'm working for your company. I'm on your money paid fucking time right now. This guy talks big shit because I'm trying to work fucking two days ago. I have my headphones on that are sound. This was different. These are sound isolating. It's always days ago i have my headphones on that are sounds different these are sound isolating it's always different i have my headphones on my door is

closed and i'm on the opposite end of the home and i hear kids by mgmt just blaring through the door and i'm like what is going on where is that music coming from your bedroom door by a bedroom i can hear it through my headphones in my room by door closed and so i go out i'm like someone must be playing music like in the kitchen i go out no it's not even it's not in his room it's at the kitchen it is aiden and yingling with the dl tcg door open playing monitor music through the monitor at full blast and they're screaming the song and i'm like why are you doing this i can't hear my thoughts. We both have a mannequin limb.

And we're both like, but I have like this severed arm and Yigley has a leg and there's like a giant cauldron in the middle and Ludwig's tied up and inside of it and you're chopping carrots. Yeah, we're making a brew. It's like when Chicken and Joe finds them in the woods and surfs up. Did you and Yingling just like turn 21 or what?

It was kind of like that. But the reason, I mean, Yingling, I was trying to listen to music while I was working. Kids by MGMT. And then I was listening. I wanted, I was frustrated because I'm getting a lot of DMs because of the Smash tournament that day. I was frustrated because I'm getting a lot of DMs because of the Smash tournament that day. And I am in work mode, and it's kind of satisfying,

but it also makes me want to run my head against the wall. Just rub it. And then I want to listen to the song When You Die by MGMT. And I turn on MGMT on Spotify, and I just have my headphones on. And Yingling's like, please play it out loud

like play it so I can hear it and then this is as he is unloading something for like a stream and he pulls starts pulling full size mannequin body parts out of a box as the music is playing and then it gets in the chorus of kids and then we just have mannequin parts in our hands. You're all white

so you can't help yourself. We start going and then you come over. Like, what we're doing is weird. I'm surprised that monitors get that loud. The speakers on that monitor are really good. I know. So I feel like I am resolved for just... Absolved is the word. I feel resolved.

I just feel like as my boss, you'd want me to work hard. You'd want me to work hard. I feel resolved about what happened because you when you fuck around you like fucking around to the maximum but you don't like when anyone fucks around when you don't want to fuck around right oh absolved would be like to be absolved by a crime yeah he feels resolved oh sorry go on maybe i didn't let you finish so i feel resolved like from... I no longer feel like I did a crime. Because what you did is you fuck around. But when I fuck around all of a sudden, it's a problem. When I talk to you for 30 minutes and no response comes,

and I'm just saying, now let's take a look at Aiden's cock. Oh, and now it is absolved again. It never wasn't. No, but I thought he was saying he was feeling a good feeling. It is a good feeling to feel absolved. I feel a good sense of resolvement. He's both. He feels resolved about me while feeling absolved of his actions.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Both work. But resolved, it's such a catch-all. You can feel resolved about this conversation. Do you know that? He might. Helico.

Can we ask him? Do you feel? Like if he was mad about it, but then he found out Aiden does it too, he could feel resolved. It's not Heli and Copter. It's Helico and Pter. how Aiden does it too, he could feel resolved. It's not Heli and Copter, it's Helico and Pter. What's up? Welcome back to Chuckle Sandwich, everybody.

Fuck off. You don't mean that. That was too far, honestly. A bit too far. I ain't mean it. While I was working that day, something really cute happened. How cute. We're having this. It's very cute. Good man. It was me peeing in my own mouth. Very cute man. How cute? So we're having this. It's very cute. Cute man. It was me peeing in my own mouth.

Very cute man. That's what you saw. So we're hosting a Smash tournament that is now announced. It's called the Ludwig Smash Invitational. It's happening in Las Vegas. It's all sold out. So you can't go. Don't ask for tickets.

Come through. Everyone's invited. We're actually doing a meetup. We're inviting 24 players for Melee, 24 players for Ultimate And then there's an LCQ Last Chance Qualifier on Friday That has 64 people For each game, they're gonna try to qualify

One of the invited players for Smash Ultimate Is Onin, who's a Steve player Who just won SmashCon and Gommel Onin is 16 though And we're inviting him, so he needs like a guardian to come with him basically. And he has like another player who's older

who's like his manager so to speak. He's not 16. He just plays Steve so he needs a guardian or someone will kill him. He needs a security guard. So we hired Rafi again

for Onin at the event. No, but he has a guardian coming to the event that isn't his parent and i just wanted to do my due diligence and i'm like can i have like uh his mom's phone number so i can call and like make sure that this all like checks out and so i call owning's mom on the phone and she is this old sweet southern lady why did she start how old because she self-admittedly old on the phone call she literally said it what's her age range hello old bitch here i don't know she just self-described

women and will always be like i'm so old hello mother of a steve player i want to kill myself how are you how are you doing today how did she phrase it i want you i want you to tell us why you think she's old i feel like you guys don't actually care. I feel like you guys don't actually care. Because it's interesting. I care so much. Well, she, as we got through our conversation, she mentions, like, he just has to travel to all these tournaments now,

and I wish I could go with him, but I'm getting a little old to, like, go to all these things. And then she also mentioned she has a grandkid at the end of the conversation. Got it. So, I would say that's evidence enough. So basically, I want to be his guardian and I want to dress up as Steve. So basically, you're not in there

with his mom. No. I don't think so. Well, I like that. I like that. That's optimistic. That's good. It's open-ended. Hey, nothing is impossible. Hey, don't let her on this guy. She's going to see a position or one. She was a very sweet lady. She was so nice. She was this guy. She's going to see a position. She was a very sweet lady. She's going to get into one position.

She was so nice. She had a little sweet Southern accent. And all she could talk about was how proud of her son she is the entire time. This conversation is like maybe like five to ten minutes. And every time that it breaks away from like the kind of like the event itself, she's like, you know know he's just been doing like so good and this is his passion and we want him to succeed and i'm so proud of him and he's like really and it was like the most positive parent like and proud parent i'd ever heard and

she's doing it all in her little like southern accent on the phone i thought it was so cute because i think it's not very often that you get a parent of a teenager who's like that pumped about gaming. Does she know he's a fraud? Does she know what Steve's gameplay looks like? If she understood the mechanics, would she still be proud? Well,

we'll have to... We need to come up with an analogy. By the way, that poor kid won tournaments and he was getting fucking death threats From random fucking eggs Yeah he was Yeah it was fucked up And he's fucking 16 years old

It's a joke And if you're actually fucking doing that You are You're just evil scum And you're worthless He's a kid I want Steve To continue being the best character

It's super fun I want finals I want grand finals of our event To be Onin versus Akula so bad because it's just two 16-year-old Steve players

battling it out for rank one. Just drawing balls and wieners on the fucking battlefield. Dude, they don't even fight each other.

Dude, let the Bayonetta grand finals end in that one, Evo. All right, Alibaba. We order a bunch of Minecraft swords. We sell them at the door at a premium.

Trying to make some money, boys. To who? To what? To who to what to the crowd we know grand is gonna. Are you just an invitation like the players? We're all eliminated like a grand is gonna be the things that you slap together Those but everybody is just has two diamond swords that they match together I get those, but everybody just has two diamond swords that they mash together. That's kind of hype. Now you're thinking. Notch is going to fucking strike us down with furious anger. Well, he doesn't own it anymore. Great vengeance and fury and anger.

Microsoft is probably worse than Notch, though, to be honest, in terms of getting sued. Would you guys throat Bill Gates for a million? Jesus. For a million? Yeah. No. I'd throat him for Windows 12, bro. My shit does not run. Are you on Windows 11? I would throat him if I could never get a blue? Yeah. No. I'd throw him for Windows 12, bro. My shit does not run.

Are you on Windows 11? I would throw him if I could never get a blue screen again. I would switch. I want Windows 10, I think, actually. Throating Bill Gates to never have tech problems ever. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, easy. No.

100% Throating Bill Gates for free Ubers. No. No. For the rest of your life. Why would he have that? It doesn't matter. Don't fucking ask me questions

I want to fucking know what I'm getting into You throat him You swallow it all down And then you get ubers for free forever As a man who's tasted a lot of cum Yes Me too What is that like other pipes

It tastes like bleach It smells like bleach It's like that old What? It smells like bleach. I don't know what it tastes like. I don't know what Nathan for you clip. You ever see it where it's like that old man and he's like, you gotta drink the boy's piss. Yeah. And Nathan breaks and he's like, what? What did you say? And the guy's like, you just like make sure it's all good.

Like you drink his piss. And Nathan's like, where did you hear this? He's like, grandma like told me this. You gotta. This normal guy in the show the whole time is so dead serious and Nathan's like, you drink your own pee? You drink your grandson's pee? He's like, yes, I drink a pee.

I don't know what. He's not Italian. And then he's like, no, not just my grandson. Like any kid's pee. That's great. Oh, man. That's awesome. We got a flight going.

We got a flight of... Can I get a flight of piss? Kid piss. Barkeep? Flight of piss. By the way, Stan, I watched his stream. I kid piss or keep flight of piss by the way say I watch his Stream I watch stands react Andrew to the whale And we just do

Feels good Coming don't stop coming in the dogs. I've got a load of kid it cut it That is sure. Yeah, I mean keep going. No he was just pointing at you because you're his dog in that moment but you fucked it all up I watched Stan's react to Andrew and he did he talked about the mini golf and he had some rebuttals and stuff but one of the things he did say

was that when you were like last episode where you're like Stan's like freaks out if I'm too loud in a restaurant right what Stan's was saying that that occurred when he said that to Ludwig and he was like you gotta chill out or I'm too loud in a restaurant, right? What Stans was saying that that occurred, when he said that to Ludwig and he was like, you gotta chill out or I'm gonna leave, is because Ludwig was snapping at the waiter going,

gerson, gerson, and Stans was embarrassed. That is so different. And Stans was like, this is fucked up, stop doing that. I was not doing that. Don't snap at waiters. You would do that too. This is 2018. This is so believable. Why does that matter and it shouldn't? jose california at a vegan spot very quiet very small you're making a ruckus i'm not done with my story there was a waitress

she was really sweet so what i would do is i'd go get her sewn and i'd snap at her every time and we tip zero left. Tell me where I went wrong. Tell me. Now that makes sense. Sound off in the comments if you think missionary is the only one for you. Drop a like and subscribe and make sure you do it. If we were considered the missionary of podcasts

I'd be like, that's a W. Because what the fuck? Everyone would interpret that as an insult. One hour of missionary comedy. Your Falco hits like missionary. No, babe, I just don't want you to be on top. I know it doesn't sound exciting. He's really solid.

How would you feel? No, wait. If missionary is Falco, then Flash is the best missionary that there's Then like Then Flash is like The best missionary That there's ever been Yeah Flash is giving Slime level dick

Yeah In missionary Yeah But with his Falco This makes sense This makes sense You are the slime level By the way

Being whatever level You're at When you're on top And she's on bottom For an hour You're the missionary Of understanding comedy Where is Flash

By the way, these days? Can I just ask you that? He's still playing. He's playing. Shouts out. Yeah, fuck you guys. Yeah, sound off in the comments. Actually, you can't sound off

because half of you are fucking probably in high school and that's okay. Don't ever feel pressured to have sex. You can LARP. Whatever.

You can LARP in the comments that you fuck all the time. I won't tell anyone. Don't pee in any soccer fields. You'll be a sex offender for life. Yeah, real quick before we go everyone name one lesson that we learned that we want to teach the people oh like a episode

yeah like the south park episode whatever happened to so amen go you can't steal what he just did if you if you're giving mish you know keep eye contact the whole time that's bad advice i know the good advice is if you're giving mish don't stop never stop never stop never stop stopping i mean sure yeah unless you were unless she said stop yeah unless you're asking stop and stop immediately if not 40 minutes you should know that should have said that but i had to say it for you. Go on, Ludwig. I got mine. Okay. What's yours, man? You want to round to it?

I can round to it. I think what I think we taught everyone today is that if Ludwig goes to Panama for a Mr. Beast video, who cares? No, steal it back. Steal it back. No, you took my socky bears. I learned that I don't get invited to stuff. Why? Is that a lesson for the yardigans? I learned

that Nick Yingling doesn't know how to thaw food. I also learned it's hard to light a blunt with a magnifying glass and flashlight. It's true. It's very hard to do. But what we learned, the progress we made is that you want the flashlight to be further away. We'll get William Osmond on the

case. Good idea. We should get William Osmond on the case. Good idea. We should get William Osmond on the podcast. Good idea. Hey, and you should check out patreon.com slash the yard. Who asked? The missionary of Patreon. It's more like she's going dumb on top of Patreon.

You know what I'm... We were supposed to record his license today, weren't we? I like that too. You guys have been behind, by the way. You just don't like... You step into gear. What's wrong with you? It's his fault every time. Step into gear. I've been good. I drive have been behind, by the way. You step into gear. It's his fault every time. Step into gear.

I've been good. I drive my ass all the way over here and I watch Disney Channel movies. Hold on. No, no. You've missed many. I've only missed them because I was fucking, because I poisoned myself by accident. Two days in a row. No, not that time.

This was recently. Dude. Check the fucking log. No, you slept through it twice. I missed. Oh, yeah, yeah. Two days in a row. But I still came no you slept through it twice i missed oh yeah yeah two days but i still i slept through it and the next day i said all right we're gonna do it 7 p.m and he slept through it again yeah but i still said i'm gonna put a little vibrating egg in your butt no but i

was awake i was like no i'm awake uh you think i was sleeping but i wasn't because i was supposed to come later you just thought i was asleep but i just didn't respond to that can we connect sorry he's freaking out we should all get our own vibrating egg and we can only use it can we take a look at amen's cock and thanks for watching bye