The Yard - Thanks for watching the podcast.

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

thank you to everyone for watching.

I'm not sorry Kill yourself You should be fucking sorry I wish you died Over a monkey? Why would you take a monkey? I feel like i did what is expected of me and you guys are being a fucking asshole you're being fucking asshole

i don't care if that's true you're being an asshole i enjoyed watching you get waxed in writhing in pain what you've already said that for one by the way chocolate's probably dead chocolate had the greatest end of days a monkey could ever eat why do you get to make you don't get to decide that a monkey had a good life i made the nachos didn't i you fed a monkey human food you don't relish in the boys in blue putting one in chocolate well that wave your fucking thin blue line you piece of shit relish in that i'm the one who lost an actual friend. You guys didn't give a fuck.

Oh, yeah? About that monkey. Okay, well, it's your last name. Monkey. The thing about that... Chocolate monkey. You're being an asshole right now. No.

You're being an asshole. Look around. Look what you did to my fucking house. First, the hammer. I looked by. Wait, how about do you sink your toes into the nice, lush dirt? No. Because I'm fucking injured.

And I had to get my ankle repaired. And I got a shoe on because I got a fuck-up mangly foot. I'm never going to beat George not found now. You got third in my cut. Who asked? Sorry. I know you're going through a lot, Aiden. I know we're mad at him, but you are still the loud, annoying one.

That is not different now. Yeah, how'd you mess that up? You good? Here's the thing, guys. Let me break this down to you. Also, if you're an audio listener, you're probably like, what the heck are they talking about? Fuck them.

Fuck you. You better tune into YouTube right now to figure out what's going on. Yeah. But our life is over. And if it's Wednesday, go fuck yourself. Dude, they're taking the house. Yeah. Did Zipper just fart? Yeah. But our life is over. And if it's Wednesday, go fuck yourself. Dude, they're taking the house. Yeah. Did Zipper just fart?

Yeah. Yeah. Zipper farted. Everything's all fucked up now. Everything's fucking weird. I know I've never heard him do that before. I didn't know Zipper could fart. I didn't know Zippers could fart.

Yeah. So here's the thing. If you saw what happened, Chocolate was a cartel monkey. The cops came. They threw a grenade up here. I jumped on it. I protected all of us. Okay.

You know, everything being said, still not all cops though. S-Cab? For life. So yeah, the cops came. We had to go down to the station. They took Eamon's mugshot. He looked like shit per usual. It looked bad and dumb and idiotic.

I charmed the pants off of him i got us all off light no i was you know i was thinking about i feel like i feel like you wouldn't have needed a monkey if aiden wasn't like like out so much was being a better friend like he's out a lot and i feel like that made you need a monkey i do think that i feel sympathy for you in that way because we hang out less that's how you're gonna rationalize this i'm not rationalizing it i'm just explaining the truth and logic stop digging your grippers why i'm getting comfy in the dirt with the explosion isn't it crazy how this is a set but dirt appears when the grenade exploded dude yeah it was grass it was a dirt grenade the whole house was insulated with just

dirt yeah that's how you stay warm yeah that's how they do it west coast in the winter most It was a dirt grenade The whole house was insulated with just dirt Yeah that's how you stay warm Yeah that's how they do it west coast West coast Dirt grenades don't touch car heart jackets That's true too That's why he's so cool Right before the explosion happened I took off my jacket

And I threw it it wasn't in the cut I threw it And then zipper dove on the grenade which softened it a lot No I drove on the grenade zipper dove on the grenade, which softened it a lot. No, I drove on the grenade. Zipper dove on your jacket. Dude, the award. Yeah, you see that? It's in the...

I can't kickflip it there. That's so much cooler than your kickflip. Oh, come on. You gotta be mean. That's true. Well, one grenade... Dude, it's in there. One grenade, you get to be mean now?

Pull it out. Don't pull it out. Imagine if a grenade was in every Nyjah Houston video. It'd be way cooler. Do you think that we'll be friends forever? No, I think our friendship ends today. I don't know if I want to podcast with you again, bro.

It's just scrap metal. I just hit my foot on scrap metal. Yeah, Ludwig had to move some scrap. Yeah, there was scrap in my seat. Don't pull up metal around me. That's some good scrap. I've seen a lot of scrap in my day. I don't want to fucking podcast with you anymore You clown

This gets bobs and outs for sure Chill Stop waving He gets it Throw it away He just started watching The Wire At least we have a bunch of crud now We do have a lot of yummy crud

Dude this guy He's like covered in dirt. Dude, that's our crud goblin. That's the only thing that should normally be covered in dirt on this hat right now. Dude, his pose, I don't think I've ever thought about it. His pose is so hard. He's like... Yeah, he's pretty much throwing the face up. He's doing the

horse owner pose. Wait, to be clear, he's doing a finger gun. Do you think he's got chrome on him? With a bird, though. That's cool. Do you think he's strapped? Well, he has the Rasta hat, so you know he's got a bit of ganja. Could be stereotyping. Can I say that? Yeah, you can say it.

It's certainly stereotyping. It could be a white guy at a college with a Rasta hat. Just because he's... What if he just is of the Rasta culture, but doesn't have weed on him? We're stereotyping. I feel like... I don't think weed should be illegal, Ludwig. That's why we're different.

He's white, so he's got a Blue Lives Matter flag. It's like, come on. Did you see the clip of Kanye West walking out of the racist, most racist podcast ever? Yeah. Because he couldn't say that the Jews were like controlling the,

like the satellites and shit. Oh yeah, it's like crazy. It's like, it is a dream blood rotation for anti-Semites Yeah And he was like You know what You guys aren't hard enough

And he left It's a nightmare blood rotation For sure That's it Nick Quintus does not pass it back Or just He fake hits it I don't know

Either one He ghost hits it And also doesn't pass it He does the Kyle bit Where he's holding it the whole time Oh yeah dude He's like Are you gonna smoke that

He's like Yeah yeah yeah I'll do it I love weed Love weed Hate Jews Love weed Honestly that's one of the best Kyle bits I think it the whole time. Oh, yeah, dude. He's like, are you gonna smoke that? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it. I love weed. Love weed. Hate Jews. Love weed.

Honestly, that's one of the best Kyle bits, I think. You guys see that Katy Perry music video? No, it doesn't have to do with her being an entertainer. You see the one where she's like

with all the soldiers? Have you guys seen this? No. I can't show you because you fucking did that to our lives. You guys are saying that I did this

and it was the police that did this. I'll pull up the Katy Perry boomer meme. Y'all seen that? We don't even have an internet. We up the Katy Perry boomer meme. Y'all seen that? We don't even have a boomer meme. I don't know. I just want to go back to the old days. Dude, she did a music video where she's

like a soldier and it's like a pro US Army propaganda music video theme. Yeah, yeah. You know what? You guys are being assholes because maybe we don't need media. You know what I mean? Maybe what we need is each other.

Yeah. Yeah, that's this. You're really skirting the line on dog whistling right now. I'm just saying. We're too busy being. Can we trust them though? No, we're too busy being our phones. Think about what we were talking about two minutes ago, and now you're like,

We don't really need the media! I was saying media in general, like TVs and phones. Dude, you're racist when you're hungry. The juxtaposition in context didn't matter. You're right. You're racist when you're hungry. Archie can just put it on the screen. She's like a- she's like a soldier.

Yeah, this is- she's like getting choked. What the fuck is this It is really fun To run under the flag When they wave it We did that in school Woo Yeah Parachute day

Is it like a Pentagon funded Music video Yeah Colloquially I don't know You ever looked into All the

State department State department Interference in movies That they do Yeah you brought this up Before For the For the Tiger Cruise movie

For DCOM Oh right Because Yeah like The American government in movies that they do yeah you brought this up before uh for the for the tiger cruise movie for decom oh right because that yeah like the the american government will subsidize movie production if you play by the rules yeah yeah so like if you're playing if your movie needs like planes in it or like other military equipment you can get that for free from the u.s military as chris kyle doesn't miss a shot. If you follow- That's right, you get all the money you need. If you follow certain guidelines, and like, for example,

Zero Dark Thirty cut out and toned down torture scenes and had to make it look like torture worked. Fucked up ASAP Rock with a- Because the State Department was like, could you change these things? And classically, torture doesn't work, by the way. Yeah. For decades.

Wait, wait, wait. I don't buy this. Let's go back. So torture doesn't work. I'll never forget this. I have a very smart friend of mine that I knew in college. And he said one of the dumbest things that he's ever said to me, which was this subject came up and he was like i've always thought like there's no way they do

torture if it like didn't work at all and i was like not only are you wrong but there is a massive like report from our own government from the fbi not known to be the most like progressive institution yeah that even they and cia and even they were like yeah this shit actually didn't work at all in zero instances i just feel like it does work because when i tell nick yingling to run one more round of brio cart he starts opening up a lot so the fbi it's like hey by the way to all terrorist organizations torture doesn't work so you might as well stop doing it also it's game time in the bathroom so you go to the bathroom then and also nukes make you gay now so you

shouldn't use them putin's stuck on that one the idea is that uh if you torture someone then they will just tell you whatever you want to hear. If they don't know, they will just tell you whatever they need to say to make it stop. And just like Nick Gingling, he just wants to tell you his deepest, most innermost secrets so you won't have him do more beerio.

I've always seen it as like torture is the proof that they will kill you and the truth is what stops them from killing you later when they find out that you lied. You is what stops them from killing you later when they find out that it's you didn't you lied you know i mean like if you lie being tortured then you know that they'll probably kill you after finding that out do you think about this i've watched a lot of like movies where torture is in it yeah okay yeah so this is kind of the whole conversation you know what i kind of had this thought literally when i watched salt yeah you're the pete campbell of torture except's... What's soup got to do with this?

Yeah, we should have had Nick on the black sites. That would have been... He's like... Is that like E-bombs world? I keep going. Just keep throwing me lines. Yo, y'all play stick avalanche? Ah, fuck it around.

You guys are cool. Oh, man. The alphabet song dirty version? Yeah. I didn't spit it that time. Me and Cutie Theorycraft did how to escape from a police chase. Oh, yeah? You guys are cool. The alphabet song Dirty Version. I didn't spit it that time. Me and Cutie Theorycraft did how to escape from a police chase.

Oh yeah? Because you saw that huge police chase like two weeks ago. Ludwig watched Baby Driver and he's like, yeah, I can do this. No, no, no.

It's not about driving skill. But we were driving away from the airport and she was like, you know, helicopters can't come here. I was like, oh.

So the theory is you drive to LAX, right? Go to arrivals because it's usually clearer than departures. You go where there's police. Well, no, because they're not. I don't think they calm well. We know that for a fact. No, we go to the nearest place with a bunch of cameras.

Wait, but you're acting like it's a dumb idea. I think if you have mask on, glasses on, you grab a rando suitcase. And we get off like a Cuba. You grab a rando suitcase, you change into whatever fits in there, go to the bathroom, swap out. And then you go on the bus to go back to the LAX flyaway. Mm, LAX it.

You would go to the LAX. You go to LAX. And then you order an Uber. And all the police will have to get on the bus. But you actually order the Uber from the Hyatt next door for the lower fare. Oh, for the low fare. That's smart. Because in your getaway, you don't want to spend too much money.

Get the fuck off the LA exit bus, LAPD. I have seen old, like, I used to watch fucking real TV all the time when I was younger. And it was just like a lot of cop, like, chases. And there's a lot of times where, where like a dude will run into a house and then run out with a different outfit on and they're still following him. It doesn't work.

It doesn't work. Also there's Scooby-Doo music. Yeah, it's so funny to see. I've seen one police video where they're going in the front door and they're like, go, go, go.

And they break in, they go in and the dude jumps out the second floor. Yeah, and he gets away. Yeah. That's such a sick video. I love love it. There's also there was one where he he goes in Fuck what was it? I just forgot Grenade of age I think that we could survive getting chased by the cop

Do you think we could? Like all four of us in a car? Yeah, we could survive that. If we split up, gang. Oh, no, no. Shut up. I saw one where a guy tried to steal a car like in Grand Theft Auto. He crashed his car and then tried to go up to someone and was just locked.

And he couldn't get in. And so he just had to keep running. It was really funny. Yeah. I don't think we survive on. We don't really survive Starbucks drive-thrus. That kind of gap. Those gap us.

You know, what are you talking about? I was four in a Starbucks drive-thru. We've made it out of everyone. It's close every time though. Every time it's like a nail biter. We haven't been to Starbucks together in so long. We used to do that a lot. You know what changed?

Well, we don't live together. I got a Vespa, baby. You did change. True, yeah. That's why I love riding my Vespa. Do you ride it to the drive-thru? Have you ever done that? Many times.

You switched. And they always go, do you need something to carry that with? And I'm like, I got it. Baby, you rip up your thighs. You're like, I already got all I need. Or you just chug it right there. It's just scalding coffee.

It's like a hot black coffee And I sit there for five minutes I'm fine I can't drive till it's done It's not for me It's Italian I went back home this past weekend in Washington And I decided to go on a bike ride

Like while it was raining And this It's actually better With the rain pouring Yeah, it was raining and uh what's so funny it's like it's actually better with the rain pouring yeah it was coming nice bike ride and and i went on a bike ride so i drove to a coffee shop i got a chai tea and i leave i i leave the coffee shop it's like dark now i'm in all black so i and there's not very many street lights in this town. And I have a chai tea in one hand, and I'm trying to bike one-handed. But every time I go up a curb, I squeeze the chai tea a bit,

so chai tea squirts out onto my arm. But I have nowhere to put the tea down, and I don't want to... And it's raining, so I just have to get back. And I am covered in just... And he's so mad at anyone but himself For this Oh come on

I wish I called you when that happened And you answered It is not on this episode I was on the phone with zipper 3 In my ear so I'm trying to talk to her Every time I go up a curb By the time I get home my arm just looks like Somebody's cum all over it and uh yeah yeah yeah dude dude uh what was i gonna say fuck you you're so old

i mastered one hand vespying that is worse yeah also no helmet it makes me aerodynamic you got it don't i always wear my helmet this isn't a great great joke. I like your meat all put together. I'm getting my motorcycle license tomorrow. Why? Because I legally need it. I told you you did, and you said, no, I don't. It depends on the engine class. It depends on the engine class.

It depends on the engine class. He'd always say it, and then we all knew it was past the engine class he needed. Meow. No. Meow. I just know because I had a friend that had the exact same Vespa and she was like

you gotta fucking get him to get the goddamn thing. Yeah, I do need the goddamn thing because it goes 60 miles a fucking hour. You should make fun of me. Yeah, because you're a narc bitch.

Yeah, that's a bit true. You are. You need a license to drive this. Alright, I'm a fucking libertarian. How about that? Yeah, you drive to your 13 year old child bride. Yeah. On your Vespa that you don't have drive to your 13-year-old child bride. Yeah.

On your Vespa that you don't have a license for. One of my many. Okay. All right. I'm starting to think you watched the Tim Pool podcast because you wanted to. He was like, damn, Tim Pool's spitting. Fuck. This Nick guy?

Yeah, I need to get my license tomorrow. I took the test. Did I tell you guys about the written test? No. The way this came about, I was never going to get my license tomorrow. I took the test. Did I tell you guys about the written test? No. The way this came about, I was never going to get a license. Does it say if your face is bigger than your hand, you have cancer? And the guy goes,

you don't fucking get your license. I needed to get my license renewed, my actual driver's license. And while I was there, it was a little program. It was like, do you want to renew? I was like, yes. And it was like, are you renewing drivers or drivers and motorcycles? And I was hoping to fucking scam them program and I was like do you want to renew I was like yes and it's like are you renewing drivers or drivers and motorcycles and I was hoping to fucking scam them so I wrote I'm renewing my drivers and

motorcycles please hoping that the DMV is like new trick fuck we haven't seen this one we should give them a license look you've been to a DMV they're a bit mismanaged I thought that you might just go and then be like you are now a motorcycler but that's not what happened I did that and then immediately the lady was like you need to go take the written test and i didn't study at all but i have 900 miles

of my vespa so i was like i kind of know what to do here i studied street 900 miles i'm a street scholar if you will i'm a street scholar and so i pull up to the test and what's funny is right before the test this kid comes up to me and he's like hey lud, Ludwig. And I'm like, I'm like, yeah, what's up? And he's like, dude, I'm just such a big fan. He's like with his dad trying to get his driver's license. And he like walks over later and he's like, dude, my friend wants to do YouTube. Can you give him one piece of advice? I'm like, you want to do YouTube, don't you?

And then, uh, but then I pulled through the test. Who's next to me, but that fucking same kid. And he doesn't even look at me. He's so stressed out. He's sweating doing his tests. He's like, I love that you always ride a motorcycle. That's what I like about you. How's the festival, Ludwig?

Do you have your motorcycle here? That engine class is way higher than a residential kind. Anyway. So I jump into my test, the written test, and immediately I am fucked. Because there's like some that are kind of intuitive. Like if you push left, lean left, and then like what direction do you go? Left or right? I'm like fucking left. Easy. But then other ones are like, if it is raining,

does the water accumulate in the middle of the road? In the middle of the lanes? Or in the side of the road? That's such a good question. Easy question. Side of the road. Side of the road. That's where it divots. Fucking middle of the road. Yeah, dumbass. Middle of the road. I don't know, Aiden. That was the fucking answer. Yeah, because you never took your test because you're not fit to drive on a wheel.

Is it because it accumulates horizontally? This is an answer only in California because it doesn't rain here and the roads aren't built properly. That's my theory. Maybe it travels there? Oh, because it has to stay on the right side of the road. On a hill, who has his right of way, up or down? I don't know bro. Down.

So here's the thing, I... He's more of a visual learner a lot of them are like if you have someone to your left like should you turn back to check your blind spot or look in the mirror in my head I was like well I would look back but they probably want me to look in my mirror so I hit mirror and they're like look back and I'm like fuck

but every time I get one wrong it tells me the correct answer and I go next I get about 20 questions deep on the 22nd question. It's like failed. Yeah. And I'm like, so I feel bad. And then I look at the screen and it goes back to the main menu and it's like, would you like to take your driver's

test for cars or motorcycles? So I just like, you just remembered the correct answer. So I just click it again. What? And I run the test a second time different order, but a lot of the same questions are popping up and I'm getting them right because I just saw the answer dude i get 40 questions deep in this 50 question test failed i'm like son of a bitch even during one point i took out my phone just to see what time it was and the lady was like hey and i was like oh shit i forgot i can't cheat and

so i put it away but the funny thing is i took the test a third fucking time having known the answers because they told me and i filled them in and i basically went respawning at home fuck enough groundhog's days you figure out the motorcycle test i solve it i go to the window and i'm like i think i did it and she's like she checks and she's like oh sorry you actually need to go back and do your car driver's test i was like that's it she's like, she checks and she's like, oh, sorry. You actually need to go back and do your car driver's test. I was like, that's it? She's like, yeah. Anytime you do a motorcycle, you have to also show, again, proficiency in the regular driving.

Crush that. Knock it out. First try. Thank God. And I go back. She's like, okay, you're all set. Now all I'll let you do is your actual physical exam. That's insane.

And so you can right now very easily get a motorcycle license. Because then I saw, I'm doing it tomorrow. Michael Reeves has a motorcycle, because you need a real motorcycle, I can't use my vest before, and he's going to let me use his, and the test is a joke. It basically is one giant penis with only one ball, so imagine...

And they're like, what do you put to complete this picture? What's missing? This appears through a hole in the bathroom, What do you do? It's one circle and then a shaft And you have to drive down one side of the shaft And then go around the circle twice

And back up the other side of the shaft And then you go between cones And then you're done And the whole thing's in first gear And it's super easy It's a Los Angeles County penis And then right after you're done riding the LACP You get to ride on a fucking highway

Going 70 miles an hour if you want Dude, what the fuck? This seems bad Michael has a theory that I believe in and it's that they want to harvest our organs because Motorcyclists are the largest donors of organs in the state. That's so sad. That's so okay your organs harvested man Motorcycle riders also organs. I don't want him to be a donor. I think if you die in a motorcycle accident, please explode. I have the thing. I bite down the cyanide.

Don't leave anything. Well, a fucking grenade couldn't do it, so I don't think a motorcycle is going to do it. I don't want him leaving any scraps for any trinket finders or bone hunters at all. We're all kind of like cockroaches, if you think about it. No, we are cockroaches. And this Jackie is the cockroachiest of all. Listen to me. I want you to be careful.

Dude, stop the foot thing. What are you fucking worried about? I ride my Vespa to Starbucks in back and that's it. He's talking about the motorcycle now. Well, I don't have a motorcycle. I just need it to lead me to Michael Reeves. You're going to go on Michael Reeves' cock and ball adventure. Michael Reeves is going to be on the back of the bike while you're driving.

He's going to be hugging you tight. And you're going to want to go to 120 to impress him because you think he's hot. You're so smart. And then you're going to get hurt. And you're going to hurt Michael. He's a dirt bike of a motorcycle. And then you're both going to get harvested. God bless him.

His motorcycle goes like 70 and then it wobbles. My Vespa matches that. That doesn't make me feel more safe for you. I didn't realize it doesn't work. Oh, it has speed wobbles. Oh, okay. You'll be safe. Guys, I'm literally getting my license.

I'm getting my license so I can ride my Vespa legally. She's worried. You cheated. Lily and Cutie will be fucking widowers. You proved that you don't know how to ride one on the road. Ask me any question about a motorcycle at all. What do you do when the head is cut off from an EMT vehicle? You guys tell me. Is that your answer? Fuck, too circum EMT vehicle. You guys tell me.

Is that your answer? Fuck, two circumcised fucking... You guys would know about the head being cut off. Yeah, I hung out with... Look, I hung out with a circumcised man today, and I feel seen. What the fuck are you talking about? I was on. Is this your... Is he circumcised?

Yeah. What a disappointment. Yeah, look who's picking up the slack on the podcast. After reprimanding him, look who decides to tag in. Yeah, huh? Fucking little slut for new- Oh, when you get asked, it's fine. I did get fucking turned out.

How was it? They ripped my clothes off, and they gave me the ride of a lifetime. And by they, I mean Hassan Anders gave me- Yeah of a lifetime and by they i mean hasan anders gaming yeah and not will because he's apparently not on this podcast is he on the podcast i haven't they have the craziest hasan and will's podcast it's called fear and which i've told him is a bad name so i don't mind saying publicly and they make a shit ton of patreon they make like 400k a year uh it's like 8k a month and uh And Will has not been on in like 3-4 episodes Or something

Let me check their Patreon Because I think it's doing actually super amazingly And I think that's really cool Because we are kind of like the trailblazers It's making whatever 400k divided by 12 is They've got all the puzzle pieces They've got us on it

What you said doesn't equals maybe my numbers they make 38k a month that's what which is great 40k so it equals 400 um but yeah i went on because here's how this works marsh who produces their podcast march march march marsh no it's march. You keep saying March. Here's the thing. March. I asked March once. What? March once. And that's just, you don't have to finish the story because I know.

And he said, I don't care which one. I said, I hate that answer. I do hate that answer. Because I love yourself. He told me it's March. What did he tell you? Because you pressed him, right? He said, I hate that answer and I hate you.

I pressed him. I pressed him and he didn't give me a straight answer he said whatever you want whatever you think i was hanging out with marsh simpson and apparently how it works is he just thought it would be cool to have me and atrioc on like uh like a very unlikely pair like like season one episode one troy and abed i think it makes sense that makes sense and then grab the two oldest people in the scene throw them in a room oh my god and then he was like uh and then atrioc cutie messaged us she was like you guys I think it makes sense. That makes sense. And then the two oldest people in the scene, throw them in a room. And then he was like, and then a cutie message. She was like,

do you guys want to do this? And we're like, okay. And then we did. And we went on and that's actually, it was fun. I thought it was fun. Uh,

I think it was a fun dynamic. Do you want to, Oh, do you want to have something secret about Atrioc? It's not secret. He probably told everybody, but he stayed up that entire night before he pulled an all nighter playing Hearthstone. Oh, he's been addicted. Like off stream night before. He pulled an all-nighter playing Hearthstone.

Oh, he's been addicted. Like, off-stream? Yeah. He's been addicted. Like, he was in a dark room grinding Hearthstone to get to Grandmaster or whatever. He will get Grandmaster. We knew this. Well, it's more that he stayed up all night knowing he had to do a 10 a.m. podcast, and he was like, fuck it, we fall. That's the main difference between

Lud and Atriok, is Atriok still games offline. He was devastatingly embarrassed. The main difference is that he lets his gaming get in between his work. I should have heard. He was in the car talking about it like he fucking cheated on Ari. He was like, I can't fucking believe I did that, bro. Like, I'm so embarrassed. Like, I'm tired.

Like, Marketing Monday is going to suck. I fucking wasted a bunch of time. I'm like, no, this is you. This is bad. This is real. No, this is good. No, it's bad. It's for a sponsor. It's for a sponsor. That's why he's doing it. No, it wasn't. Well, he doesn't need to get to

Legend for the sponsor. Yeah, he does. That's the whole point. Oh, really? Yeah. That's part of the activation. Wait, but if he doesn't get there, they won't pay him? I guess there's no time frame on it. There's no time frame on it. But they will literally, are they not going to pay him if he doesn't get there?

He's playing the game. He said it was part of the- Is this a leak? Are we leaking? Maybe. I'll ask a truck. Who cares? Who cares?

We'll just keep leaking. Who cares? Shut the fuck up, A-Trek. Who cares, man? Passing the most beautiful views of our fucking life in the back of Blaine Hearthstone, man. I was in the car

and he's just like fucking freaking out and I'm like, this is good. I'm glad. I was proud of him because I said because he was like i should have been on the uh like this elon thing and like this ftx stuff i should have been making videos because i made one about ftx that i was really proud of because he was like he could explain the situation and other youtubers were kind of like confused and he was like i was proud of that and i was like you grinding Hearthstone All fucking night As a 37 year old man

Is way more interesting Than making a fucking video About the news How is that more interesting To me Am I No you're dumb I've already

Phoned your phones at home Am I crazy for thinking Yes That makes him more interesting Than making a fucking Content piece about The news List of things

That interest slime Alright motherboards Baseball videos Laying on the floor Crawlies Dirt Crawlies Creepies

Critters That can all be one okay gears gears and uh dirt piles funny videos yeah farting videos happy bars videos of farting hippos but baby hippos not big hippos you like baby hippos better yes that's true uh farting videos and dream smp videos he loves them now yeah so what're going to fucking tell me that you, like, you want to jerk off Rich Campbell because he's been playing Marvel Snap and grinding it? I think so, yeah. I think the idea that...

Damn, Rich, get your point. He's a guy who you, on paper, you're like, that guy has it together. No, I've never thought this. I have. He obviously has. He worked at NVIDIA. He was a high up guy. He has all these things. He has, like, a beautiful wife who he loves and cares about he has a fucking house but yet

he can't get away from the fucking one more game actually think him quitting nvidia was the worst mistake of his life even though now we work together because now the sheen of his profession i know i'm saying but the found a company with you The sheen of his Professionality is gone And now he's just a Wasteman He's ultra lord What is that What What

I think this is like The first time This is it man The podcast's over bro He's cringe He's cringe now You're cringe I became cringe

Um Yeah Archie Ediham Vanishing from the rest Of the podcast Uh he uh Don't fucking love that lads He's back Archie good edit him vanishing from the rest of the podcast. I fucking love that, lads.

Why is Archie good? He's back, baby. That was a good Archie. I'm so mad that you guys recognized me. The Sheen's professionality is gone because he doesn't have the NVIDIA, like, hey, I work there. He doesn't have to get up in the fucking morning. But he also doesn't have, like, hey, no, I work here, I do this. Like, now, what is he doing?

He's like, well, I played Hearthstone. I do this. Like now, like what is he, what is he, it's like, what are you doing? He's like, well, I played Hearthstone. I mean, I did like one. I like this because the whole trip while we were gone, we talked about a ton of things, right? Cause naturally we just spent a lot of one-on-one time together. And he's talking about how he was missing out on so many opportunities to

make content while we were there. Cause so many interesting stories like related to FTX, Twitter, all these things are happening and he can't activate. He can't make the video. So he goes home.

He's so psyched the whole flight home about like, I'm going to go home. I'm going to grind and make these videos and he's just playing Hearthstone instead.

That's so fucking funny. Poor guy. Hey Ludwig. Hey kids. No! I'm kidding. I'm kidding. This is my fault.

I'm kidding. I looked at my Spotify today And it showed me the amount of monthly listeners The moment Thanksgiving ended A very mogul Christmas has skyrocketed Beating Mariah Carey A true possibility You know what else is a real possibility

That your calories are skyrocketing Or that you're too lazy to cook There's a couple words we could be living in. Or to read numbers on the Pinterest recipe you found. It's a lot of numbers that hurt your head. Hey, fatso. You go to McDonald's every day. Hey, bigums.

Hey. Anyway, you tell yourself every morning you're going to go to the grocery store. You're fucking not. You're fucking not going to do it. You're a piece of shit. You're going to go and be like, I need flour because I don't own that. You're going to buy like $40 a flour for one meal? And now you have flour in your fucking pantry

that's gonna stay there forever and ever and ever. And everyone in school calls you flour? He doesn't even know how much flour costs. You're gonna make it pay. It's like $100,000. It is really expensive right now. It can't be that expensive though. It's expensive right now.

He said $100,000. If you're like me, you don't want to think about portioning. You don't want to think about what you're eating next week. HelloFresh, they pick all that shit for you. Don't think about poor shit again. That's bars. That was bars.

Listen, here's the thing. You need to shut the fuck up right now and put this in your mouth. Truffled mashed potatoes. Prime rib with rosemary juice. Or a cherry ricotta crostini. Put the crostini in your fucking mouth. It's not rosemary juice. It's rosemary jus.

It's French. They probably got both. They got options. They have like 30 plus recipes weekly, bro. Yeah, you can order recipes that you can easily pronounce. Or you can get a little challenge. What's the code? The coral.

Oh, he's choking. Love it. What's the code? It's the Yard 73.2. No. Shut the fuck up. It's howlfresh.com slash the Yard73.2. No, no. Shut the fuck up. It's HelloFresh.com slash the Yard70. Sorry, our set's fucking destroyed.

I have to read off my phone. HelloFresh.com slash the Yard70 for 70% off plus free shipping. That's kind of cool. Look. What? Put the crostini in your fucking mouth right now. Me eating rosemary juice perfectly portioned out? To a 70% off? This is festive eats.

And I've always said that. Also, he said a couple things about your guys' trip that you didn't reveal. One, he saw your cock and balls. Oh, yeah. Two. Stop, stop, stop. What the fuck do you mean, oh, yeah? Honestly, it was so, like, that wasn't even, like, top ten things of the trip to me.

Wow, you hear that, H-Rock rock you were just a notch in the bedpost what what how how did he see your we're on the dock okay so okay all right i see what's going h rock queenstown queenstown new zealand is on a lake It's a glacier lake It's kind of a cold day out And we were going to go try and swim And we're on a dock, me, him, and Sean Sean the guy you met in a grocery store

Sean is the grocery store guy So Sean also saw your dick and ball Sean also saw it That's not right Maybe this was arranged I'll let you stay with me in New Zealand. Oh, hey. Oh, you like my podcast?

You want to stay with me in New Zealand? Oh, maybe we can make a little... What is it? Like a sexual arrangement? Maybe we can make a little arrangement with me boys. That was the boys guy at the airport. He has the accent? Me boys?

Was that Karl? Me boys and me berries. Me cock, me bones. I want to see your little berries. I saw a tweet today that was like, ate shitting, no, love shitting, ate wiping. Simple as.

And I was like, that was pretty good. Okay, so continue. There's not really a story here. I just fucking, I took off my shorts and jumped in the lake. That's it. Did they do that also? Was it Cole? Were they the first one? I only had one layer on. I in the lake. That's it. Did they do that also? Was it cold? Were they the first one?

I only had one layer on. I was the first one to do it. I said, because in my head, I was like, if I commit to this, because I will have no choice but to jump into the water because it's like ice cold water. And I did it. You don't have enough dick to jump in ice cold water and then have people see what you're

rocking. That's the whole point. The ice cold water. I'm rocking a one incher in this ice. That's messy. H-Rod said it was cold and he was looking good. That's the opposite of what he said on stream, which is that you can tell it was cold. You come out of the ice cold water with like literally a micro penisenis and you're like, oh, the water, no.

What the hell? It's never like that again. Daniel. I went full Seinfeld mode on it. I really let them indulge. It's got a little North Face on it. I was naked for maybe a total of 15 seconds. Micropenises look like those like-close bacteria electron microscope pictures.

The guy from the Mucinex commercial. You guys ever go on micropenis forums? Yeah. Yeah, I didn't for sure. No, I haven't. So you have. Okay. He also said about Aiden Gaming that he's baby crazy.

And he wants to settle down and have a family full of babies. No, no. You can't say this because she'll listen to it. What? She'll listen to it. Zipper Tree, he wants babies now. No, dude. You got fever, bro. Why do you have baby fever?

Why do you want little guys? I just, all I said was, I think I want to have kids in my life. I didn't say it was sometimes. We're driving again i'm i'm like this he's like man he's just like crazy about babies yeah i was like what really he's like yeah not having them though that's a weird part was that like three babies and i'm like what the fuck i didn't even say that i didn't give a quantity at any point um he's fucking he wants a family no she i'm gonna get so many texts when this episode comes out this is i don't like this

but there was that and then the final thing he said it was really really interesting he said No, I'm going to get so many texts when this episode comes out. I don't like this. And then the final thing he said, it was really, really interesting. He said, Aiden doesn't want anything. And I'm like, what do you mean, A-Trek? He's like, he doesn't want or need anything. He's just having a good time. I'm like, well, what do you want? He's like, I want more money.

Yeah. And I'm like, that's crazy. And I was like, does the number just make you feel better? He's like, yeah, I like the number. And I was like i was like does the number just make you feel better he's like yeah i like the number and i was like okay well i'm dropping you off now and he went home and he played hearthstone and more in a way it's for money in a way it's for money i don't think it's about the money for our son he likes it he can pretend it's for the money but that's what he said he was like i can't wait to get home and fucking play more Hearthstone.

I'm like, what the fuck? You're not going to sleep? He's like, no, bro, I'm three wins away from Legend. And I will get them. Is Legend the highest rank?

Yeah, it's like Grandmaster or whatever. Okay. Can you get it that fast? Oh, the horse is bad. Well, it's not that fast. I think he's grinding like eight hours a day for a month straight.

I mean, he was grinding in New Zed. Yep. NZed. Anyway, I thought that was funny grinding a new Zed. Yep. NZed. Anyway, I thought that was funny that you're baby crazy. He's money hungry.

He saw your cock and balls which looked like a bacteria on electron microscope. Yeah. They're so small when they get that called. I'm not. Dude,

my shit look like a dirty little, my shit look like the end of a hot dog. If I ever, if my shit in the end piece, just the end just the end yeah if my shit ever leaked i would want it to be a picture of when my dick and balls are like that you know when you do the

thing in the shower you like you try to make it as embarrassing as small as you can it looked like that unironically sometimes which is hard it's hard i'm not joking right now it's hard in the shower because it's warm no but you can still like crunch it up in your body. No, I'm saying when you crunch it with your fingers. And like you're like, yeah, look, I got the crunch. Maybe this is an uncircumcised thing. Yeah, whatever. Sometimes I pull up my sack and then I cover everything.

You're not special. I do that too. You put it in a backpack. It looks like brain from mother. Yeah, I do the same thing. Yeah. I know all the tricks of the trade. You put it on the glass of the shower and you try to make the biggest print.

You ever tried that one? Oh, I've never done that. That's a good one. I've always had shower curtains is why. My only consumption of TikTok is zipper three saving TikToks for me. We have TikTok time where we, you know, she saves TikToks. I'm coming for that, bitch. And then once a week.

That's my thing. No. Wait. Oh, you're talking about, it is your thing. I was like, you're going to send him TikToks? It's so sweet. It's kind of our thing. It's kind of our thing.

TikTok time is my thing. It's TikTok time. You send her a cease and desist in the mail at her house. Zipper3, find a new fucking name. Why did Ludwig send me this? Find a new fucking name. Why didn't Ludwig send me this? Find a new goddamn name. She saves the TikToks and then she was

going through them because she had a bunch after the trip that we could go through. And she had this one video of an armadillo eating fruit. And we're watching the beginning of it and she's like, she's like, why did I save this? Oh, remind me of your penis. it and she's like she's like why did i save this and it's like remind me your penis right that's what she said yeah that's what she said yeah

she's like she's like oh it was because i think he looks like your penis was it a baby armadillo it's a baby it's a baby he's like well you mean like like what it would look like later in life yeah it's a big grown adult armadillo like like the size on the screen to like not like the real sort of armadillo like the About my iPhone mini So I Still have a touch. I joke with Josh cuz this phone like doesn't have sir He's like miles when he's here like he doesn't pay for service. But his phone is just a glorified iPod touch.

Yeah. And he's just a useless. Yeah, he's playing music quiz on it. And pong. And then going to random places outside and hoping Wi-Fi connects. Dude, he did Lime again. Man, he's good. Aw, dude.

He got really drunk. This is bad. He got second at Verdugo. He said he figured out fiction, which is really exciting. Fiction got first? Yeah. Or not Verdugo. It was Lawless.

Verdugo was tonight. While training for a fight? Fiction could rock his shit, bro. You've got to get that boy off the line. No, he beat him at Melee. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying outside of this. Josh has a broken arm.

I'm saying while he's training for a fight, he's winning Melee tournament. Kind of based. It is kind of based. You see Fiction's mirror pic? He looks great. He looks kind of... Yeah, he's getting based. Tight bod.

Nice form. Thick, solid, tight. But anyway... It's facts. Josh gets second. i go home early and he he goes on this like adventure he goes drinking he comes home drunk he's like i put lime in my eye again i'm like that's bad dude we love you man i like how this is like your son who's who's a drug addict but he's squirting limes in his eye yeah and i was like again bro, again, bro? He's like, it was bad. God. And so that was fun.

But yeah, that's just... How was your Thanksgiving with Joshie? What did we do? Oh, yeah. It was nice. We went to Aiden's. Oh, you were there. Yeah, we went to Aiden's and we played Kingdom Hearts 3. Aiden's house, not his home.

Right. Did your mom come? No, I went the next day to Washington on Friday. My mom did not show up to Thanksgiving. And I was tortured. By them or by the fact that she wasn't there? By the fact that she wasn't there to light up the room. My mom was busy.

She was working. Yeah, she was busy. She was working. He was lighting up another room. That's kind of sweet. That's what I'm saying. That's kind of nice. Everywhere she goes, she's like a princess.

God. Whoa. Back off. saying that's kind of nice everywhere she goes she's she's she's like she's like a princess this is getting too real there's a dad in the situation still it's not like me yeah he watches every episode he's always flying a plane so what the fuck you don't know she uh she didn't show up but yeah we hung out we played We ate rotisserie chickens and bagels, and we played Kingdom Hearts 3. I'm five hours in. It fucking sucks. It's fucking miserable. I wish I was better, and that's pretty much it. At the game? No, I wish the game was better.

The game was better. Oh, you said I was better. Just press triangle. It was better, yeah, and you can get in the teacups and then fucking go. Ride the roller coaster? You rode the roller coaster yet? It's so fucking miserable. But the cutscene where he runs up mount olympus is fun it is cool yes it is cool some dubs in there there's a couple dubs but i'm in tour story land

now and i don't want it i don't want they should have just been andy's house yeah why the fuck did they make toy story land a random ass mall and now i have to press triangle some more so i'm not happy about the world that i like you You play the Toy Story N64 game? No, I play the Sega Genesis game. I've played the Toy Story PC game. And that was that. I remember those streams. Those were good times.

No, that was Toy Story 3. Probably the same game? Or no? No shot. It's 3? It was not 3. It was Toy Story on PC. Basically, they fucked Kingdom Hearts like a pig in the street.

This is one of my fondest memories is playing Kingdom Hearts with Ludwig or watching him play it in his apartment. That's also Zeke's fondest memory with Ludwig. Kingdom Hearts is where it all comes together. We're like Eskimo sisters with Ludwig. You can't say that. Oh, is it bad? It's bad.

It's bad. I learned that. I got yelled at and I learned and I'm better now. How can I make it better? Okay. You know what else you can't say we're like You can't I can't say what type of dog So good

Connie continuing to be a genius also Also, again, this is going to be fucking seven-year-old. Goofy. No, no. You like that one? Yeah. We can't. This is going to be seven-year-old news by the time it hits, but the fucking Elon Musk tweet with the fucking revolver and the Diet Cokes.

Caffeine-free Diet Coke. Isn't that insane? I think it's fake. What the fuck is going on? I think he just found that picture and just tweeted it and said that. I don't think it's fake. That is the funniest thing he's ever done. And I can't believe that that happened then.

I don't know what you're talking about. The caffeine free is a beautiful touch. You haven't seen it? No. Bro. It's actually unreal. I thought it was a shit post and then I like had to like double check. He tweeted like my bedside table.

And it's a picture of four presumably empty caffeine-free golden diet cokes and like a revolver and like a mustang yeah and a modern revolver and then like a revolution style like pistol yeah that's tight uh i'll tell you what you know the only thing i hate about the twitter thing is everyone who's posting their alternative twitter like just in case oh yeah you're not fucking leaving you gotta not going anywhere Someone just messaged me Hey sorry to bother Just letting you know You're mentioned

In the Chuckle Sandwich podcast At around 25 minutes If in case you want to Check it out It's a good segment We don't have a Fucking TV anymore dude Don't worry

They didn't know that Why are you mad It's your fault You've ruined the TV You stole the monk How dare you What is your ad About that

Luke Don't know Luke We're on your side to be clear Thank you for bringing it up Sorry that Stole the monkey. How dare you? What is your at? What is your at about that? Luke. Don't know. Luke, we're on your side to be clear. Yeah, Luke. Thank you for bringing it up. Sorry that- Piece of shit. Anthony.

Okay, that seems uncalled for. Fuck you. Chocolate's dead, and you guys don't even give a shit. No. Correct. Why? It's a cute monkey. It was cute.

Cute monkey. It was cute. It was your fault. Don't give this to him. What is a cute monkey? Monkey. Monkey. Cute.

Cute monkey. Learned a Monkey, cute, cute monkey. Learned a lot about shooting with a monkey. I mean, if we want to break the... You want to break the fourth wall with a monkey. I mean, I'd be like... We can save it for the Prima or something. Never mind, it was real. I did the photo shoot for Chess Boxing March today.

Yeah. We're all messed up. Well, before I did the shoot, though I needed Like to fix my haircut Cause I had the bowl cut From the glass box stream And so I went to I went to Supercuts Crate Clips

One of those I forget Cause that's where I always go now Come on You gotta rep You cannot know which one Well I'd say Coke and Pepsi

Are the same I was hanging out with the Crate Clips I don't know It's not that You don't know shit about supercuts in the wrong spot they've been fucking up hairlines for years you've never listened to corrupt song about supercuts i go to supercuts for three reasons one they always give a consistent 6.5

out of 10 haircut that i can rely on right two 6.5 is i can walk in and get it done whenever i want with no weight because nobody's going to super cuts right three it's like 22 all in so it's and you get a lolly and i get a lolly i get a free sucker you get a what so i go to super cuts i get my cut i show up to the shoot i did my hair before and uh and i'm there and i'm and i'm like talking about it and then hugs was there because he's he's competing in the event and he was part of the photo shoot he's like the fucking way he went to super cuts and uh and then stands just laughs out loud and they're arguing about it and he didn't believe because how good it looked because of how nice my super cuts hair looked let's go because here's my theory is that it doesn't matter when you craft your hair at the end of the day with a blow dryer.

You also have like really great hair that's hard to fuck up. I will say the only thing it sucks is the hairdresser kind of dogged me. She's like, do you want a color? I was like, no, it's just like I'm going to let it grow out. She's like, okay, next time make sure to use hydrating conditioner and leave it in. I was like, what the heck? What the hell? Your shit looked dry. Apparently it was

dry. I thought it looked good. It felt good. This shit looked dry Apparently it was dry I thought it looked good This shit looked like fucking Christmas Eve On her collar Don't pipe up I got a loached head Before Mogul Money Live My hairdresser was like Do you want me to like fix your eyebrows

And I was like what What do you mean You look like fucking caterpillar You don't have to but like i feel like you should darken them and i was like and i have not been able to unthink about that wow she gave you a complex she was like am i gonna do light what do i i've never had to think about this ever you know did you get them darkened for the show i did i was like sure do it fuck it you got like no one noticed except for zipper two instantly saw me and said what they do to your face was she happy about it or not she's

like that's like lip injections for men yeah eyebrow darkening i had this conversation with crush a long time ago because crush was a bit of a was a bit of a tinder demon oh and uh i can imagine where you got that name just crushing shit and i i asked him i was like what's your like what's your like most successful opener and you can never really tell when he was being serious about things but he said uh nice eyebrows wanna fuck what an asshole because he's also like to somebody handsome chad you make crush like 75 worse at fox and he's cringe but he's but he's so good at fox that everything he does is dope well this is also outside the realm of his fox and it it sounds according to the story like it succeeded there's a guy named dave who a nasty Sheik who disappeared to leave the community of Melee and everyone was like

Sad about it, but we honorarily would never pick Donkey Kong in games that included Donkey Kong like Mario Mario Mario Party Because the memory of Dave and people wouldn't even meet him. We're like Yeah, like they're gonna pick DK and immediately get blamed and then they'd be like, okay And people would not pick Donkey Kong for a guy named Dave that they never met I have never seen Donkey Kong on the Mario Party set up ever

and you've never met Dave and I've never seen none of you know I remember it's just a rule I played a I was not in this story me and um me and Millie were playing

Mario Party versus Ben and some teammates match camp and we're Millie's like I've never played this one and I'm like it's all good yeah get on my back we're gonna Mario Party versus Ben and some teammates at Smash Camp. And Millie's like, I've never played this one. And I'm like, it's all good. Get on my back. We're going to make this work.

And Millie instantly goes and picks Donkey Kong. And everyone looks over. I'm like, man, you can't. And he's like, oh, I can't do that? Right, of course. All right, who do I pick? And he's like so upset. And the same setup.

We end up clobbering them. And we're like halfway through this match. And the CRT, it has this speaker that's like a mesh, like a mesh speaker. And it's like, clearly someone has punched it. Because there's a big gaping hole in it. And it's like, there's like pieces jarring out. Ben is so drunk and so mad that he's losing this game. He reaches out and he takes a piece of like, not like a tiny piece, like a big piece of the TV.

He rips it off. and then he just eats it. He just eats the CRT plastic, he starts chewing it, he's like, you can't crunch it, it's hard plastic. He's just kind of like popcorn kernels, just like biting on it, and then he swallows it whole. And I'm like, dude, Chad. What a warrior. That's not good. That's great. Ben, it's just...

It's gonna come out the way it went in. It's just like a, it's like a, it's just... It's going to come out like the wake went in. It's just like a... It's like a... It's like a shoe-nice sampler. A shoe-nice flight. Can I get a flight of crud? Plastics and crud and microfibers. Yeah.

What's weird is growing up and then seeing people also grow up because I've seen Ben at his most degenerate and then I FaceTimed him like a week or two ago and he's with his girlfriend

in bed and he's like being very cute. His hair is combed over and they were like clearly watching some like you know hallmark movie fun movie yeah and then he's like he's like early night for me you know just hanging out with the girlfriend like she pans over and she's like hi what happened to your hair and and i'm thinking in the back of my head i was like man i've seen him like fucking light up a cigarette punch a crt and then eat it yeah yeah like he would eat burning things i felt or at least put things in his mouth all the time he's just a he's a baby yeah that's how he discovers the world i once won so many mini games in a row he wrapped his penis around his thumb and showed me it oh man You do that You do that At the bar

Oh shit Oh man Good times It's good times It's good times What? Do you like this? No

Why not? I don't like your grippers Being in shot Why? Your grippers are a problem Yeah they're all dusty And flared up You got fucking yuckers Yucky grippers I don't want your grippers being in shot. Why? Your grippers are a problem. Yeah, they're all dusty and flirty. What about your grippers?

Yucky grippers. I don't want to show them anymore. Yeah, you did get your heart broken. No, they got exploded. Got his toes fucking blown off. Explosion. Well, also before that, though. Yeah, I got a little fucking run up done up by George Notbaum.

Did I ever say how at your birthday party that when Cutie had that whole spread at the house and stuff, it was like lobster and me and Mike took turns eating lobster shell as like chicken wait what? we started doing this bit where it's like oh you gotta eat the shell, shell's the best part oh you told me this

and he just puts lobster he puts like shell in his mouth and he starts crunching it just staring at me and he's like mmm love it and I'm starts crunching it just staring at me and he's like love it and i'm like well i can't let him get away with this yeah it is kind of an aid of it but i was like i can't let him get away with this and so i put like a bunch of lobster shell in my mouth and like and it's just like gnarled you're supposed to swallow them whole oh you're supposed to swallow them yeah there's a lobster like a shape going down Me and Mike I think that was like

I truly saw us As like the strongest Warriors in that moment Cause we were just like Cutting our mouths up For the fucking bit And we didn't wanna Back down

Yeah you're a warrior For that And we did no Swallowing lobster No super brave And that guy Handles your merch orders So

You Then the marines I'm saying Do you know how Chess boxing works Chess boxing What is that Does anyone here

Know how it works Yeah I think I do Roughly Tell me How do you think It works You play

Box one round Yeah you play A round of chess And a round of boxing And you win by Either checkmate Or knockout Right

It's a minute of chess Right Or I guess TKO It's a bullet right How long is the chess It's a minute Right I thought it was No it's no. It's a minute of chess, right? Or I guess TKO. It's a bullet, right? How long is the chess? It's a minute, right?

I thought it was three minutes. No, there's no way it's a minute. Chess has got to be like 10 minutes. Okay, I've realized I've failed. I've failed because I don't think anybody really knows how it works. It's just like, yeah, you play a bit of fucking chess and you punch each other and fuck, I don't know. I mean, it sounds intuitive. Is it not?

No, it's pretty intuitive. Did I not nail it? intuitive. Is it not? No, it's pretty intuitive. You're close. Yeah, I think the way it works is there's a round of chess that's two minutes long. And the total time that each person has on their clock is five minutes. So if it reaches zero, you lose. And then each boxing round is 90 seconds. And then you switch.

So you do two minutes chess, 90 seconds boxing seconds boxing 2 minutes chest 90 seconds boxing 2 minutes chest 90 seconds boxing It's 3 rounds of boxing total And then the 4th round of chest Is the final round And it's 4 minutes Because you hit a total Of 8 minutes

And then the last round Is 4 minutes So someone will have to win By time out By the end of it But I think I've done A bad job explaining it Because you guys don't know

And we talk We talk quite a bit When have you explained it? You know what? And that's talk we talk we talk quite a bit have you explained it you know what and that's what i'm realizing too is a problem i haven't yeah yeah yeah but here's the thing i if i'm just like joe dumbass the viewer.com i'm just like well you chess and then you box like it's enough said right i guess it is mostly it you know what i'm saying i don't need to know how much time if you think that sounds like a good time, chess boxing is on December 11th in Los Angeles.

Where can they buy tickets, Ludwig? Let me rephrase. We'll all be there. Please fucking come. Please buy the tickets. We need some tickets, old man. Also, look, I need to shill because... Nick?

Are you farting? What's happening? Did you not control it? Don't say my name and then do that. It's like it's pulsary. You just started farting like you couldn't handle your own body. I was just sitting thinking about it. It fed through the lines of your chair.

Yeah. Like Mr. Potato Head's hair. Where was I going? It softened the acoustics of it. Okay, what? Me, Nick, other people have worked really hard on this merch project for a long time. We started like over a year ago. I think literally, it's not Yard merch.

It's technically Ludwig merch. I think it's the sickest merch we have ever done. And we... Cooler than the last Yard Drop? What do you think? I think it is. Depends on what you're into. It depends what you like. Are you into chess or cars? I think this is the coolest depends on what you're into. This is my thing. Yeah, it depends what you like.

Are you into chess or cars? But I think this is the coolest job we've done. They're comparable for sure. You dogged it right there. It's the best. I'll say it's the best detail work we've ever done. Yeah. I think it's the best overall.

Yeah. I think it's great. I saw it. I think that's a fair conclusion. I think it's cool, but I also think chess is like snoring. There's also boxing. There's boxing. There's also boxing though.

That's the whole idea. You get to pick which side you like best. It's like the hero in Dark Story in Sonic. But we'll show it off really soon. Basically it's like a fucking hoodie with fucking chains for the hoodie string and it has like chess pieces or boxing gloves and it looks really cool and you can

buy it at the event. Just show up to the event. It's December 11th in LA at the Galen Center go to Ludwig.gg I will kill myself in your home go to Ludwig.gg use code Ludwig and it will kill itself in your home it's like one of those like phase meet your fan videos

where it's like I met a fan at their house they surprise them and you go and you show them it's the phase video where they go to a GameStop but they kill themselves I'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it at a game stop in the pantry so that maybe like the next morning you find me because like derz is nibbling on me a little bit derz would eat you derz would never take a note and if you don't want that please buy the if you buy if you buy this merch

Aiden will at the Galen Center put it on your body with his hands I won't touch you he'll do it I won't do that he won't touch you

I won't do that I'm saying right now that without a doubt he will and I won't do it Aiden will strangle one of you and he's joking to death

please tell them where to buy tickets for the box ludwig.gg code ludwig ludwig.gg code ludwig also we'll all be there we'll all be there 10% off you can meet us I can commentate Please tell them where to buy tickets for the box. I got GG code Ludwig Ludwig GG code Ludwig also

We'll all be there person meet us. I can commentate you said I could commentate Bump into us and the yard live. Oh fuck it. Okay, and Elon You can pay crypto for merch but NFT merch And there's going to be Elon Musk. Oh, dude. He's going to live. And you can pay crypto for merch. But it's NFT merch for your monkey. Yeah, we lost him all. Chocolate is on it.

Chocolate will be revived. Chocolate NFT. And live forever. Anyway, come. Yeah, I was, you know, it was funny. They brought up on the Fear And. Great name. Fear And.

They were talking about how, I was saying like, you like you know i was joking mostly but kind of not like i exist you're holding out on us i gave it back you got a little you got a little rice sweet you got a little rice kribby i want a little you want a kribby i have one bite of rice kribby thanks dad i'll get back uh they were saying because i was like i'm fucking outside of the matrix. Like you guys are fucking content creators. I fucking talk shit. Like I fucking hate when people are annoying to me. And, and they're razzing me and stuff and it's all good.

But they did bring up a good point. Is that, do you, Hassan said that our podcast was more of a friendship simulator than anything. Because I asked him like, what's the point of your podcast? He's like, I don't really have one.

I was like, okay, well that seems like a problem. And I made fun of him for it, but he's like, what's the point of your podcast he's like i don't really have one i was like okay well that seems like a problem and i made fun of him for it but he's like what's the point of yours and i was like it's also a good question is it just the friendship between us and then question is are we selling a piece of that friendship to the viewer i have a good answer let me hop in first yeah but then we what we do is we offer it for free and then we sell them through the power of advertisers on products they'll buy in the future are we hypocrites uh i still i i wait do you want me to answer wait in what i what sense? Yeah, I do. Wait, in what? You asked that like you already have an idea of how we are hypocrites though. Do you?

I feel like if we follow that logic train, I am a hypocrite because I'm against the machine, but yet I benefit from the machine, which I think about all the time. Hey, what? Haven't you been benefiting from the machine always? It's different when you're behind the scene because you can do a job for any machine and be like, machine's fucked up. Right? But like, I'm operating the machine. I'm so lost.

I think you can be a worker for Amazon that makes 15 an hour, but you are not the evil of Amazon. But once you get this close to Jeff Bezos. When you're in a podcast with Jeff Bezos and you're washing his bald head. Yeah. And what were they claiming the evil was? Was parasocial relationships? Ultimately that the yard itself is like is also a podcast about nothing like you're Seinfeld.

But the fact that the reason that we have a draw because we're all very close friends and that is that is an appeal that makes it different from other podcasts, right? I think it makes it better. But is that something we are selling to me genuinely i don't know i don't think about us to me the concept of the

show was like less about like a yard that we literally spent time in and more about that idea of you're hanging out with your friends and you all spill out into the backyard and you have memories they're kind of like uh how people say like you have the best conversations in the jacuzzi type of type or yeah that glass patio what yeah you never heard that before never i've also never heard that it's also the glass patio like the best conversations those are the worst conversations because it's just some dude who smoked a bunch of weed he's talking about the stars yeah and he's just like bro have you noticed them ever looked up and noticed do you believe in god yeah i'm sorry so we

synthesized that and we turned it into something visual while inserting ourselves as friends and being what we think we thought we might be good at and turning it into something that we like doing and then we're sharing that but when i think about my job on this podcast and all of our jobs i guess because i'm very linear is like my job is to be slurms McKenzie put the fucking glasses on and be funny Like that is it right like and so I don't think about these like other factors of like if we're Selling a friendship like a friendship simulator, which most podcasts are in general. You just want to listen to people talk That's like a human thing And I was wondering what you guys think about that if at all dude shut the fuck up

yeah we were trying to smoke uh you don't get to do this and then also be weird went this past the blunt for a long time yeah you're just holding it's just burning man yeah i don't think people are watching nick for the parasocial dynamic uh it's obvious actually maybe they are they are. Look, here's the thing about it, Sweaty. A lot of the people just want to pass a certain amount of time on a commute and this is entertaining enough. But yeah, we probably are being parasocial and cringe.

Do you think that I'm base for rallying against the machine? No. Because being self-aware doesn't matter. You're an asshole. You're an asshole. You're a base.

You're not an asshole anymore. You're an asshole You're being an asshole You're being an asshole You're being You're not an asshole anymore You're being an asshole Let's imagine you worked At Northroom Gunship Just tell him he's based And That sounds like a British person's thing

I'm not trying to be convinced Let's imagine I grapple with this fine You worked at Northroom's Gunship And you were like And you were like You know what I actually

And you were so outspoken About how bad it was Still fucking working there You're still working there You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. What if I'm What get there man, what if I'm the $15 an hour worker At Lockheed, you know what I'm saying?

You're like putting bolts on the missile and I'm putting the bolts on I think that's an evil enough company and there's enough other options that you don't have there. You're like, you see, you're screwing it in. I say that not to equivocate Lockheed and Amazon. We're in a great job market right now. What I'm saying is you haven't struggled for rent in years. Screwed it on the bolt on and you're like, where do you think this thing's going? Where do you think they're putting this thing?

Do you think this fucker's gonna kill it? They pull these up? That's great. What? No. This fucking thing? I also don't think that, maybe I'm wrong for this, but I think the bottom guy at Lockheed is making more than the bottom guy at Amazon.

Yeah, probably. I don't think it's like a 15 an hour at Lockheed. They all make less than an in-and-out worker, bro. It's like, you know. Yeah, true shit. In-and-out workers get paid. In-and-out workers will be buried in sarcophaguses. We're at lockdown You're probably You're probably It's like you don't Yeah true shit In and out workers get paid In and out workers Will be buried in sarcophaguses

You're not taking a motorcycle test And then screwing in the Screwing in the bomb Like I don't know I was I thought it was interesting Because I

Rarely am able to observe us From an outside perspective Because I don't Put your fucking grippers away Care enough to do it No I Don't

Let the number I'll hurt you They're just feet man And then they said that and i was like that's a good question what are we about for me it's always been we just got to be funny and that's literally it no but the dynamic of being funny like it is so reliant and embedded in the fact that we are friends right you can't it's not a stand-up routine you cannot cannot... If I didn't know you fuckers, I'd still be fucking trying my hard... I'd be Slurm's McKenzie, dancing with the little speaker.

We would have removed you by now, I think. No, but what I'm saying... But what I'm saying is... Because the people would have been outraged. I am a god! I don't know. You guys don't get introspective, huh? No.

I clock in two and a half hours a week. You just shut down my introspection. Sorry, I did. Go ahead. You clearly understand that the way we are funny, like collectively, maybe not you as an individual, but the collective experience of the show

is about the person listening is like it's like them being the fifth person in the room with like their friends going back and forth bantering trying to like capture that good feeling that you have with your own friends like on on sleepovers when you were growing up and out back at the shitty house you had in college and like those type of things I don't think you can separate that dynamic like we can't just do four separate stand up you know performances here fuck you for

bringing this up because now I'm going to have to go in our goddamn discord server and look at the dumbest conversation about this ever that's fine that's going to happen now I'm going to read that I'm going to be so mad I'm going to be mad at you you hate when they cook You hate when they cook Because they cook up that good lunch

They're coming to Nick's zone They're coming to Nick's zone And be like Effortlessly I disagree with slime Me and you bro I think the same as you bro Shut up

It's kind of funny right Shut up Well okay This is the last thing I'll say Is like I think that Back in the day Take your toes out of the dirt

I like my toes in the dirt You piece of shit Okay I was thinking like Back in the day When people sim toes out of the dirt. I like my toes in the dirt, you piece of shit. Okay. I was thinking like back in the day when people simped for like the president, that was also a parasocial relationship. I think anything you do, anything you do

in like entertainment that is like presenting yourself involves like some percentage of like parasocial pull that keeps you popular and like entertaining. You can't get away from that all I'm saying is it's easy it that's what happens I do the same thing I really like bands I have a band on my fucking arm just don't be

cringe and now a message for me undies and another what is that is that your is that your intro what is that a fake and another we don't need an another thing cuz I already hit it to us yeah Yeah, you already- he already threw. I kicked it to us in the most verbose way. You're terrible at this. Fuck you. What? Fuck you.

You're being an asshole right now. What do you have to say about this? There's something in the dirt? Oh, what is that? Sparky? What is it? Oh, it's MeUndies and they're in a package! Wow.

And they survived the blast like a cockroach. It survived in perfect condition And I'm sure their bralettes would have as well They don't have that it's just underwear. Oh, it's it's not like it's like a rubble thing. It's like tan Okay, so they actually have some of these are the Chris Kyle The cool thing about me undies is that these ones might not let you know, but these are holiday-focused undies. But they also have more traditional

holiday undies. But this is the ancient holiday tradition that the Babylonians used to use. This is the color... Okay, now you're wearing it on your... And that's how they wore it back in the... Back in the Babylonian holiday. And that's the thing is that they're... What are you doing there? We can use it for survival

That's It wouldn't work that way The opposite of survival It wouldn't work that way It would never be used that way That could work That could work But me

Me undies I've used them personally They always send us stuff I literally wear them Because I lose my underwear a lot And they're comfy as hell Yeah Ludwig also has

Needs underwear Constantly Desperately He's probably free balling right now Because he's always pooping his pants. Because I have MeUndies on. Interesting. Because it's there for you.

I, when I was in New Hampshire for the holidays, wiped and then it kept coming and I didn't have a bidet. Same thing happened to my ear. Oh, it's the worst, bro. I just gave up. What's the... Look, go to MeUndies.com slash the yard If you want 20% off your first order and free shipping

That's right yeah you get your first order With 20% off I'm sorry I was going too fast for you What is the URL? The URL dude it's MeUndies.com slash the yard Or just go to MeUndies.com it's simpler Slash the yard for our 20% off discount Plus free shipping

We want our discount Fucking slut sign me up I know that's what I'm saying Slash the yard for our 20% off discount. Slash the yard, though. Plus free shipping. We want our discount. Fucking slut, sign me up. I know, that's what I'm saying. You didn't even finish and now I'm your dirty little guy. I'm typing in right now. Also, that happened in New Hampshire with my butt in your mom's bathroom. And on that note, let's get back to the show.

Something happened to me today. What happened? I think I was sexually harassed. Wait, really? Yeah. I feel like that's bad. Dude, we're talking. You're an asshole right now. No, you're right.

So that's annoying. What happened? It's fine. No, it's fine. Tell the horsey bears. No, you have your... You listen to me. You have your emotional protection horse.

Tell us what happened. Aiden, put the cow hat on. I don't care how charred it is. Put it on and tell us what happened. What happened, man? What happened? No, that's wrong. They shouldn't do that.

Stop standing in the way of their luck. I just think that cows and horses is backwards. It doesn't make sense to me. Aiden, what happened Okay what happened to you You can't just say that You know the sunglasses the atrioc broke I finally went to go get them fixed today And I went to a store

To get them repaired Walk up to the guy And he He doesn't seem like that engaged with me at first But he has kind of like a low Like sultry sort of voice And I'm just like Okay well I almost feel like I'm

Bothering him in a weird way even though This is like what you do And he asks He asks me to take it all out I have all the parts For the sunglasses except the one The main thing that's missing is there's a screw That goes into the glasses and the nut On the other side is missing so he needs to replace it hopefully and he looks at me he like looks me in the eyes and like dead center and he's like

i need your nut but he says it like straight faced and and like but in like a deep like he said there's an air to it your nut is weird and i'm so yes exactly it was the choice of words and the way he said it and i'm like frozen because i'm like i'm like calculating it was like euphemism it's no surely didn't mean that. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. Maybe I misspoke. Maybe he thinks I have the part and I'm like freezing. And I'm just like,

no, see, I don't have the part. Yeah. And he's like, I'm, I'm just kidding around. And my hand is on the counter, like on top of the glass countertop like this.

And he takes my hand and like traces across my hand like this. Oh my God. And I'm just, Jesus Christ. And I just like totally frozen. He goes in the back. I'm just standing there looking at my phone. He fixes my glasses and I'm just like stumbling through my words.

I'm like, thank you. Yep. Thanks for fixing that so fast. It words. I'm like, thank you. Yep. Thanks for fixing that so fast. Let me ask you a question. Goodbye now. Is this Riz? I don't think.

I don't think touching people like that is Riz. Did you feel uncomfortable? I think I was like. What's Riz? I think I was. You're being an asshole right now. I was uncomfortable. You gotta Google it, bro're being an asshole right now. I was uncomfortable. You gotta Google it,

bro. You're actually fucking old. It's weird. I felt like I didn't want to, want to like be angry or accusatory because in my mind, there was like a, a benefit of the doubt version of this. That was like,

he's just being nice. He's just a nice sort of like father, like figure who literally just tried to make like a play on words joke and then was just like I was just messing with you kind of like in a kind of like in a pat your hand type of way you know can I ask you this because you've

been on a phone call with me before and then called someone gay because you in there you were right yeah not in like a mean way but you should say so you predicted that no you a mean way, but you should say. You predicted that, no, you, what's the word? You identified them as gay. Yes, infaminated.

Did you think this dude was gay? Not, I don't think. It was a tough call to make. Did you think it was flirtatious? Yeah, it felt flirtatious. Yeah, interesting. Like the whole conversation without the hand touch felt a little that way to begin with and then and then i got a i didn't get a tap i got a caress that's so weird and uh yeah he's clearly like in his i would say mid 40s to mid 50s how was

that old enough how was the hair that's not old enough for you to get the weird pass. Yeah. Which says a lot about bald. It does say a lot about bald people. I was bald? Yeah.

He was a villain. I probably know him. Disney's right. I can talk to him. Hold on. I'll check the bald decks. Yeah, that's Neil.

I just froze up. I was like, I remember the last, because I was so, I don't want to believe that somebody is like nefarious in that situation but I also couldn't help but feel uncomfortable and it reminded me a lot the

the one other time that well two other times this is like explicitly happened to my recollection but the I remember one time that actually shook me up it was anybody that went to the University of Washington knows about the ave it's like the main street that you walk down for food. I'm walking down. There's a lot of people who are homeless on that street who just kind of mingle and hang around and stuff. And I'm not saying this is fucking applicable to homeless people or something, but a dude who's obviously in pretty bad shape, who's huge, who's like 6'6 to 6'8. He's fucking enormous. I'm just walking down the street and as he walks by me, he reaches around and gets a handful of ass.

Oh, man. And like holds onto it for a sec. Wait, now hold on. We don't know if this is sexual harassment yet. Hayden, what were you wearing? Yeah. I was in a thong, so I was like, there.

That guy's name? David Schwimmer. But I just remember looking around, and I turned around, and I was just so shook. I didn't even know what to say, and he just winked at me and kept walking. Oh, my God. Dude, it's so crazy, because you're so frozen, and you can't really do anything in that moment. This is a ripped, jacked, sixed six foot six homeless dude yeah damn only in washington baby that's crazy he's just really he's really tall and really big yeah uh it it sucks i've i've had a very

similar thing happen to me like you your ass grabbed by by you know someone you don't want and you have to like it's the the dynamic if you're a dude is always easier because you can whip around and be like what the fuck are you doing you know or whatever yeah um and like i always think back to that moment when i think about like women telling stories or whatever it's like you don't have access to that like that uh what do you call it that like engagement right yeah you're just like always in fear of physicality. So it fucking sucks. And it does shake you.

So I'm sorry that that weird glasses guy shook him. It was just jarring. And I was like, and then I got in my car and I was thinking about it. I was like, why do I feel so weird? And then I was like, I have a podcast to talk about this. We should pretty woman him. Go back? You go in the store with a very nice huge. We should pretty woman him Go back Big mistake Huge And I strip down in his store

You can't have any of this You can't have what I got You bend over and your nuts come out of your shorts And you're like oh Whoops You act flirty and then you have ten men In women's suitors walk in And they're all like Aiden

We're waiting for you in the car in our big limo where we all fuck and then they go Something I do when they look at him I draw my my I draw my cool $100 bill. Look at my nasty nuts dollar bill look at my nasty nuts the 20 suitors just fucking the 18 naked cowboys who's this fucking old fuck yeah why'd you you can't bald you can't have any of it yeah we can do this for you i think i think a weird thought i had was when i interact with like customer service workers and like people in that scenario i think in general i adopt a very like polite light sort of voice and i'm also like like i don't know i'm kind of a twinkie guy if you will so come on no like you know don't say that dude we like we like you hold. I think you're great.

Don't make me tap the sign. It just says no twinks. I know. You forgot this whole time. You can probably write that in right there. That's what I'm trying to grow out of my body. Can you write no twinks with your finger? Yeah, just zipper if you get the

aw. That's all in there, bro. That grenade stays. I know it shouldn't matter i had kind of like a guilty thought in a way because i was like i've been in enough of these scenarios where i'm like dude does like my kind of like presentation of myself uh like invite these sort of scenarios and that made me feel weird too who's the strongest person you know uh you want me to say you i do and it leads me into my story so do it do it you fucking idiot you're so strong you're so big even me aiden a big strong man

one time my boss at best buy uh salted me at night because we went out to party it was like my boss and like a couple friends that i had and we went to uh like east la to some bars we bar hopped around and and i don't know i was just a dumb kid but he was for sure uh gay and into me and i didn't realize either of these facts until the night where we stayed at his place and it was me, a coworker in him. Yeah. And then he got weak Gator. I do have a really weak Gator. And then he was staying in his bedroom and I was staying on the couch. And then the other friend had the other bedroom.

It was like, all right, I got the couch by myself. I'm there. It's like middle of the fucking night. Then he comes out of his room and then he goes up and he snuggles behind me. And he's my boss. And I'm like,

and I'm like, and I'm like, ooh. And then he goes for like a caress move and then I'm like, oop. And then I'm up and then I just stand in the bathroom and I just lock it and I just stay in the bathroom and he comes through and he's like, everything good? I'm like, yep. Oh my god. And then I wait for him.

I'll be right out. I'll be here when you come back. I wait for him to leave and then I go to bed. He doesn't bother me again and I wake up and I leave. I can't believe you even got an awful you slept Yeah, I think maybe Have to keep working at Best Buy there was was two managers and he had quickly moved departments. I don't know if it was related, but he had moved departments. So there was like a bigger guy in charge.

And every time there was a report about this guy, they'd move him to a new Best Buy store until a small Boston newspaper got wind of the story. His name was Father. And a real fucked up guy who couldn't really talk right broke the story his name was a father and a real fucked up guy who couldn't really talk right broke the story and his name was Tom Buffalo yeah and I'm strong

yeah it disarms you I think it's cause you don't want to like contact disarms you no matter how big and strong you are I'm fun feeling I'm like Terry Kroon feels awful in strength No matter how big and strong you are. I'm like Terry Kroon. Feels awful. In strength.

I'm laughing. I'm like, how do you think you're like Terry Kroos? He's as strong as Terry Kroos does. That should be like when you twerk and your whole back moves. Like if you try to do the titty thing and- Oh my god. It hit the cow hat. Thank god you were wearing the cow helmet.

Don't hold metal shrapnel no let him touch it no he can learn i'm really in i'm on the shrapnel i want tetanus what do you guys want to keep i want tetanus we obviously fucking can't pot here anymore he keeps sexy skeleton he's pretty fun keep sexy skeleton i want my gnome keep the gnome we all get one item are we what are we doing with it we're taking it home i don't know we're gonna fucking do it is this shit over I am not gonna be in the fucking

I'm not gonna have my toes in the dirt for the rest of this fucking time I'm not gonna do another podcast on this set should we have a podcast man I'm fucking I think I'm fucking done

if it's gonna look like this do you I don't wanna end it I just we just where are we gonna do do you ever think about ending it man

no cause you guys like the fucking money. Yeah, every now and then I do. I know, I know. I already talked about this. I love the game. These two never think about ending it. I think about it sometimes, but I'm like,

I think about me. Real rich. This guy gets a YouTube check and he's like, oh, you guys think about the money. Fuck you, man. You already got the money. You know what I mean? Nah, it's not about the money for me, though.

You know what I mean? Oh, it's love of the game? What is it? Is it love of the game? I guess it's just about the love of me though you know it's love the game what is it is it love of the game I guess it's just about the love of the game actually that's what I told the song in them gang in them on the podcast I was like well the pot the point of the yard was for Ludwig to get his

friends rich which was cool and that is the truth though what was what did so he didn't have an answer about what the point of their podcast is no but he was up front about he's, I don't know. We're just like, we're trying to figure it out. That was my goal with this podcast.

And I had no other goals. What? To get you guys rich. Yeah. But you were just like, make it happen and I'll be Ludwig Anders and I'll be on it and all this stuff. And that was the cool part. My goal was, we had been talking about it for so long.

We had been talking about it forever. And me and Anthony, well, my personal goal was me and Anthony talking about it for so long And me and Anthony Well my personal goal was me and Anthony had never made anything together And I was like I want to make something with you And so we worked on this idea for a while But we were lazy We told a story about how How I originally gave the deadline

To do it That's what I was saying You said I will support this in any way Why I gave the deadline yeah yeah because zipper two wait what happened you've told us i'll retell it but basically the reason i gave that because we've been talking about doing a podcast for a year but the reason i finally was like hey this is the deadline to do it you like go nuts use this space in the house use as much money as you need to make it happen uh and break was because like like the previous few weeks i had heard rumblings that zipper two was like was like i mean nick just keeps saying

like he's gonna work on this podcast and that's why he has to like live with the guys but he's like not doing it i forgot about all this forgot about this reason wow so you did it out of the kindness of your heart i was like all, this is the date now. Wow. But it was easy for me because all I had to do was give a date. Yeah. And then we held the- So Zipper 2 made us. Zipper 2, we owe her a lot. Road dog.

Yeah. I was made by you. What'd you say? Ouroboros. I said Zipper 2 made you guys. And then I said, well, not me. And then I said I was made by you. And I said Ouroboros.

I am the erd tree of Ludwig Anders. Yeah yeah and you guys are the demigods and ludwig is godwin the golden and you get killed we need to kill you my name's got god in it can i be someone better you can be ronnie she died i just read berserk i want to be a god hand that's bad oh i didn't get that far one of the good ones i'm only on the third volume. He does the R word. What? Yeah. Dude. That volume is, that manga's full of R word.

I am berserk. You're berserk. John berserk. I'm not that deep into this show. What do you guys think we should do with the Sibian? Oh, we never used it Yeah we never went We never went batshit loco on it

I You said that weird Did you use the Sibian What should we do with the Sibian You said it like Parts of that have asterisks And yeah it's like right What are we gonna do about that?

What does never mean? This is so shocking because you are, no offense, the last guy I could ever imagine being brave enough to put something up your ass. He's sub. I love missionary and I also would do that. You know what I'm saying? Speak to that.

Can you mish a Sibian? I can goddamn try it. I will not reveal their identity, but I have a volunteer who said they would use it as long as it is cleaned and sanitized. Wow. I don't know. Not in a way that they would let us spectate.

Not saying that I want to spectate. Can you confirm this is not zipper three? I can confirm it's not zipper three. This is where everyone will first know. It's not zipper three. Can you confirm it's not zipper two? Wait, can you confirm it's not zipper 3? I can confirm it's not zipper 3. It's not zipper 3. Can you confirm it's not zipper 2? Wait, can you confirm it's not zipper? The sonic drawing may

be hinting. We can just give it, you know what, we just drop it off at a Goodwill. That'd be funny. We should go bury it and give people the coordinates. That'd be funny We should go bury it That's like a And then give people The coordinates You know we want to do that

We still have a bunch Of old Ludwig hoodies Like Gen 1 teal hoodies Or mint hoodies I wanted to like Bury them in like A Nevada desert It'd be so funny

To do like One of those Man on the street Like Santa Monica videos But it's like Ride the Sibian Get a mint hoodie Every minute you last

Get a dollar Yeah Or it's like 50-50 the Sibian get a minute last get a dollar Or or it's like 50 50 the Sibian like a Tony Hawk goal Or you do a Ross creations video and you bury in sand and you're hiring a metal detector to find your lost It's like but it's not a metal detector. It's just making the sound Focus can we all before we focus say a memory that we loved in this space? No. I- No, I'm just kidding.

I have some good memories. You don't like reminiscing on the past. I like reminiscing on the past. I don't like reminiscing on the present, like the way Josh does. I know I sounded dumb just now. Yeah. We'll be eating breakfast and Josh will be like, this is so great. And I'm like, shut up.

Yeah, you don't like being in the middle of the thing that's nice and talking about how it's nice. What? All right. My favorite moment ever, it was when Nick said,

well, Ludwig, I guess there's no loads refused. You liked that moment a lot. No, that was a long time ago. Really? I rewatched the clip of you laughing at that and I was laughing

just because of how hard you were laughing. You really got me. It was good. I rewatched recently. Actually, wait, I re-watched recently actually wait i'm trying to real quick i'm trying to remember all my favorite bits it was you're doing that uh amon saying queben or just the swift story and queben's very good i love this also amon's uh josh episode his breakout episode it was the best it was the best that sucks for him because i was 75 episode bombed not even that it's just 75 episodes into That episode bombed. Not even that.

It was just 75 episodes into it. He went a year and a half without breaking out. That's when he shines. There's a couple for Ludwig. One is doing the, and I'm going to eat your bones. You like the wires in the robots. Also the wires in the robots and also. The ad read. Yeah, the ad read and also him doing XQC on the Your Mom episode.

That was a good one. I liked... Fuck, I forgot it. I liked the pod. It was great. Yeah? No, I liked the one where me and Aiden got high on edibles. Not mushrooms.

I did not like the mushrooms one. But the one where we got high on edibles. And Aiden was super high. And I kept just laughing at Aiden. But I felt like I was fine. And I still think got high on edibles and aiden was super high and i kept just laughing at aiden but i felt like i was fine and i still think it was funny it was a good time it was basically like we were making fun of aiden because you were sober and i felt sober and i feel like i came off sober and so it's basically like aiden's the fucking weird one you did where you were just more smiley yeah you were like the outrageous fun guy that you make fun of i recently re-watched the bit where ludwig is

dressed in disney clothes and oh yeah and slime is like so where were you today and that whole it's like seven minutes of just it makes me laugh so hard and i don't even necessarily think it's that funny like maybe our audience but that whole bit i think is so reminiscent of like how we really do fucking talk to each other all the time. I was laughing so hard watching it. Yeah. There's been a lot.

Cause you're like, you like berate Ludwig for like, like seven full minutes. And then you're like, I'm so tired of you. And he's like, I'm what you're tired of. And it was so good.

Oh man. We're funny. Uh, I really, I think my favorite episode might still be the Stav one. Wow. I love that episode. Dude, that episode is just so funny to me. And it's our most hated by fans.

Yeah, it's just so controversial. It's just so controversial. It's so controversial. It's so controversial. Yeah, and I still think so many things. It's the only one my mom didn't like. yeah and i i still think so many things it's the only one my mom our whole our whole conversation about about 9-11 in that episode is so funny to me still because it just keeps it just keeps escalating and it just keeps going the bit about like you might land it that's it yeah I really I really love that episode I think

any also maybe in the same vein I dude I like cry laughing when we talk about the dogs fucking Susan dude I'm sorry

oh Susan was just that whole escalation of the joke across episodes you know what I think the peak of that bit was when we did the Archie premium episode in UK and we were talking about how the queen fucks the corgis Archie was so good on it too

I was so happy that he was funny it's just so good I think I go back and like watch that like that just makes me really just laugh really hard and last is most most recently i've been re-watching our shady rays ad read i listen because i'm like i every time i watch i start tearing up laughing because something about so did we cut the original ad read That we're talking about in that episode The barge one

Did we cut Did we have to cut that Yeah we cut some of the barge Can we say what we said that had to get cut Yeah we're in the episode Fuck it So the thing that we cut That makes that even funnier

Is we're I think it's a HelloFresh It was HelloFresh Factor ad read Where we're talking about how HelloFresh Burns all their trash on a barge. On a barge. During the ad read.

And that was all Aiden. Aiden just like, that just came out of his head. Don't say it like he found a spark of magic. No, he did. He was. It's just like, but you'll fucking buy their meals and they throw the trash.

And put the trash on the barn and let it fire, man. And they fucking, all the trash gets burnt on a boat. I got one skill in life and it's like knowing how to make some money and you guys ruin that. We make it, you know what? We make it a little challenging. Yeah, you do. You do offer some challenges along the way. You know.

Can we fucking focus up Just for a second We don't have a set anymore The police are evicting us From the house that he owns What are we going to do Chocolate's dead He doesn't care about that part I don't care about that part either

Because you caused all this Chocolate is dead Is the show over Or are we going to figure something out