Episode 100 | The Yeehaw Gaming Podcast
00:00Wolf's girlfriend is veryI'm not trying to put her down when I say thisNo, militantly progressiveYou can say thatShe's very easy to talk toSo, you know, but she didn't knowThat the KKK that they called them wizards and shitOh, that's right
00:18That's their ranks, double secret master super secret wizardSome of the thingsI think someone's a dragon, hold onThe Grand Wizard dragonOf Knoxville, I don't knowAnd I think it's justTitles and vocabulary.This is a great Wikipedia page.
00:34Merch-provoking.Merth-provoking?I cannot think of an organizationthat promotes less mirth than the KKK.Oh, look at that.Grand Dragon.Later, okay.So I guess it was Grand Dragon at first.
00:47And then they realized Grand Dragon is silly.So we're going to do Grand Wizard instead.Back it up.Back it up again.We demand to be taken seriously in our ghost costumes.It's the Imperial Wizard.That's the top one.Realms.
00:59Oh, my God, it's D&D for racist.This is an incredible...Dominion, realms, dragons, scribes.This is from Wikipedia Empire.Constituting the whole area of the clan's activities.This was led by the Imperial Wizard and his staff of 10 Genie,as well as a grand shubladen and grand scribe,whose duty was to keep lists of...
01:23What is it a scribe's job?You just shows up to a meeting?All right, do we still not like black people?All right, I'll write it down.still don't care for these fellas.How do we think about Italians?Not yet.Not yet.
01:36Yeah, in 2006, they were on the march and they were like,what do we think about these Catholics?We're okay with them now?All right.Catholics put a little check.Squires, Grand Dragon, Grand Titan, Furies, Grand Jive.Nighthawk, the Nighthawk.The Nighthawk.
01:56The Grand Cyclops.Dude, this is just fucking...This is awesome.Let's join the KKKKK.Oh, God.I take it back.These are incredible names.Jesus Christ.
02:06This is interesting, man.The Grand Council of Centares.Vice Grand Cyclops.Supreme Cyclopean Council.What an invisible empire.What a sinister term?What the fuck is that?The Convokian?
02:19The Great Titans.The Exalted Cyclops and theSubordinate officers were known as the Twelve Terrors.Look at that.The Great Titan and the Seven Furies is the name.Dude, what's all this weird Greek shit?They got it from.Caliph?
02:31Yeah, this is Islamic.Why would they call them, they called their vice president Caliph.Clawcard is lecturer.This has like latter 18th century, like, mysticism bullshit.I'm going to say actually, so apparently Nighthawks is what they called their couriers.That's sort of an awesome name.I will stand by that one and unironically say that Nighthawk is a cool name for a courier,particularly for a clandestine kind of organization.
02:55Well, coming from, clandestine, but still, coming from the clan,And you would think that, wait, scroll up real quick,you would think that if you were going to go for like a name,like you got the, okay, I'm not making these up,the Cleegrap, the clobby, the clad, the Clorogo, the Klexter,and then, Nighthawk.There's thinking the black speech from Lord of the Rings.That's what fascinates me about the Nazis do.
03:18We talked about this.Like the intentional, yeah, we're evil and cool.We got skulls on our uniforms.Yeah.So there is certainly an appeal.Someone at some point, probably in the post-apocalypse,will style themselves the Dark Lord Sauron.Let's draw everyone's attention to my second favorite Wikipedia page,
03:35list of Jews in sports.Wolf, I don't know if you know that a Jewish cabal has been controlling the sport.These Jewish super athletes, the famously athletic Jews have...Sid Luckman, I mean, all pro MVP, football Hall of Fame.I'm reading off the things that he did.No, I'm not... I don't know any of these people.You see, this is why I'm not anti-Semitic.one of these guys off this page are going to come to my house and beat the shit out of me.
04:02Benny Friedman, U.S. quarterback and halfback, four times all pro.Let's see how big he is.He looks like he was 1950.He was 5'10 and 183 pounds.I could kick his ass.Dude, he was huge back then, though.Like, he probably had no abs.He had a flat chest.
04:16That's actually why black people weren't allowed in sports.The Jews knew they'd get completely pushed out.They barely were in there in the first place.Oh, God.I only, like, I don't really, I don't really know anything about, like,negative aspects of Jewish culture, right?So, like, the only one...I only be clear that my anti-Semitism is fundamentally.
04:33I think they're all just George Costanza or Adam Friedland in my head.It's a very light, non...It is a non-violent anti-Semitism.I simply think they're always complaining about the service they get at restaurantsin a generally whiny voice.However, you can see right here that that is an incorrect stereotype because André...Andre, they need to...Hold on. If this guy's half black, he...
04:57Oh, no, no, he is dark as nice.dark as shit. How is this man black?Or excuse me, how is this man Jewish?Andre Tippett makes the best barbecuesauce this side of the Mississippi. And he couldbeat my ass. He was six foot three.I played for the Patriots for 11 years. What washe?
05:12Oh, he's a defense.All pro, very accomplished on the Patriots.Okay, I'm looking up Jewishnow. There's no way.He was inducted intothe National Jewish Sports Hall of Fame,which apparently exists.So apparently, okay, you heard it here
05:28first, you can be black and Jewish apparently. I did not know this. This is ahometown bit. We don't need Nick Mullen. We have the page of list of Jews in sports onWikipedia. We're just going to read one off every time we start this. Honestly, this should bethe podcast is us clicking through Wikipedia and riffing. This is not the worst concept.Yeah. It's really not, but we just have to find better Wikipedia pages. I don't see what couldpossibly be better than the list of Jews and sports. Oh, this one's from South Africa. He'shit in every quadrant.KKK Jew in sports.
05:58Look up the photo.Well, apparently, this is probably a good time to bring up back when I was trying theCalifornia sober thing, which thankfully I've dropped because that was awful.The anxiety.But I went to a head shop and they, the guy there, it was ran by an Indian gentleman.And my second time meeting him, second time meeting him.And we had had pretty typical, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm not rude, but if I'm in astore and the person that owns.
06:25the store, the person behind the register is talking to me.I'm not going to be indulging the conversation a lot.So I don't know where he thought he could finally sayhe was driving some equipment that he'd purchasedfrom a wholesaler, and he said that Homeboys,was the phrase he used, were following him in a car,but that nothing happened.So I'd like to be clear, he hit me with a hard R.
06:50So I didn't go back.So a guy...Which is just wholly unnecessary.It was my second time there.I just put off a racist vibe.I know I do.I get that too again online.They see me and they're like, this motherfucker's a dragon.
07:04He didn't get robbed.They weren't trailing him.He didn't lose them.Young black men were just in a car behind him,and then they turned a different direction.And that is literally all that occurred from the storyas he told it to me.And he thought that was all he needed to go hard R.
07:22He's like, that's enough.In the years in tackle shops, man.And let me tell you, you can always tell when there's a racist at a tackle shop.Because they're in a tackle shop.We're going to read this passage.Read that passage.I'm going to feel this hunk of plastic.I hope you can all be a fucking adult about it.
07:37Like, I'm going to make a video about Herman Lehman, this German boy that got kidnapped by the Apache.And I hope we can all be adults about this people.You know, like it's, you got to wonder sometimes, can people on the internet be trusted?with the truth, the complexities of it?Because the answer is no, they're just going to go on X the Everything app,and be like, yeah, and that's why we had to do it to them.The Comanches and Tonkhas had been at war a long time,and the Tonkwas had been nearly exterminated.
08:06The hatred that Tonkua had for the Comanche was fierce,for they planned the command, blame the Comanche,for all of their misfortunes and eventually made a treaty with the white people,and combined with them,to exterminate the Comanche, acting as scouts and trailers and warriors for the whites.When we found those Tonkahuas in camp,our chief gave a war whoop, and we all joined in one continual yell as we charged that camp.They fled at the onslaught, and several of them were killed.
08:29We took possession of the camp, and what do you suppose we found on the fire roasting?Set up and punchline. That's genuinely the tone of it.One of the legs of a Comanche, a warrior of our tribe.How did you identify whose leg it was? I don't believe that.I'm a little curious.However, the Tonkua did eat people.Our chief gave the cry for vengeance, and we all joined in the chorus.We immediately gave Chase. No martial music fascinated our little band,
08:51and urged us to victory, but one look at those stern faces and drawn muscles would have shownthat they meant to utterly annihilate their enemy.One of the leg was like really jacked there, and like, that could only be us.There's no one else who's got legs like that.That's John.A great many of the dying enemy, this is after they beat the Tonkua.A great many of the dying enemy were gasping for water, but we heeded not their pleadings.We scalped them, amputated their arms, cut off their legs, cut out their tongues,
09:20and threw their mangled bodies and limbs upon their own campfire,put on more brushwood and piled the living, dying, and dead tonquas on the fire.Some of them were able to flinch and work as a worm,and some were able to speak and plead for mercy.We piled them up, put on more wood,and danced around in great glee as we saw the grease and blood run from their bodies,and we're delighted to see them swell up and hear the hide pop as it would burst in the fire.But, uh, yeah.
09:46So that's like the thing is, like, you want to tell,the problem is like 14 year oldswith no understanding of the reality of conflictwill like come onto the YouTube videoand be like yeah that's why we had to do it to themas though I have not read equally horribly haunting shitSand Creek massacreWounded Knee Massacre
10:06The Camp Grant MassacreJust umHow do you deal with it?So I what we're talking aboutIt was just total warAnd uh total war is total warbut like it really is justdisturbing I guess
10:22whenever I'll try to writebecause there's likewhen I think about my dad righthe's too stupid to be empatheticI think he genuinely lacks the intelligencethe honesty necessarylike we all lie to ourselvesbut like it's he genuinely
10:38will never be able to atone for what he's donebecause he just he can'the doesn't understandhe can't put himself in the shoes of other peoplehe's not smart enoughSo whenever I get these 14-year-olds coming into my...Like, am I trapped here with the stupid and cruel, is the question?But it's also...
10:56Like, I tell myself they're 14, because if they're not 14, then I'm, you know, I'm trappedwith the stupid and cruel.14-year-olds grow, and they'll learn.Yeah.Not if it's a grown man.I don't think I just fundamentally disagree.I don't really think that anyone's incapable of learning.No, some people are too stupid.
11:13You haven't heard...This is actually...Okay.I've been around a lot of stupid people.This is like a, all right, this is a 4chan thing, but it's funny.There's this one famous, like, clip, and it's like this young man, a judge, and the judgeis like, he assaulted someone on the subway platform, and the judge is like, how would youfeel if someone attacked you while you were just waiting for the subway?
11:38And he's like, but no one did.And she's like, yeah, but what if they did?And he's like, no one attacked me on the subway.Like he can't get itIt's that is that meme thingHow would you feel if you didn't have breakfast todayBut I did have breakfast todayLike you're literally
11:55Well there are people that are not smart enough to understandI understand thatJust that in this scenarioIt sounds like a fool in front of a judgeAnd a courtWho doesn't want to say more than he needs toBut I do think there's no he's not finessing anyoneHe doesn't understand
12:10That's how a court worksThere are people that I think genuinely lackA fully developed theory of mindlike they don't you know how like a gorilla never asks a question it's like that shit like the gorillacan't understand that you know things that the gorilla doesn't know they're unchallenged you knowand whenever you decline challenge over and over and over and over again i watched her challenge himover and over and he's like no one attacked me on the dams up so stupid but it's haunting you knowit's like i think back to like the people that fucked me up as a kid and it's like i don't think
12:40they get it i don't think i could i think i could sit them down and force them i i'm 99%sure my dad watched that video and he's right now sitting in his house like man i don't know whotalked him into hating me i'm not joking like that's what these people are often like they just theydon't get it like i can completely like there's so many people that must hate me that i've neversaid a word to because of you know my vibe yeah of my incredibly unpleasant vibe your vibe isn'tfine it's just that um i don't know i feel like when it comes to like i don't know like social circumstanceand expectation and all that shit.You tend to do a bit of the, what's the word for it?
13:20You tend to like to skip through it, which is fine.I'm just a cold person.Yeah, what people interpret it as cold the same waysomeone who with a low emotional quotientwould be interpreted as an idiot.Like it's the same way, you know, like I feel like anyonetruly broken down to their core can be forced to learn,but we're not masters, we're not slavers here.
13:41So people, you know, what do you do?Do you let them do what they do?form a nautocracy? What do you want to do? I don't knowman. I just think they're all fools.But like, I don't think anyone's aboveapproach. Well, that's my point is we're trapped here with them.I don't know. I think it's trapped.Let's talk about some. What
13:55what is the solution?The final.I'm fortunate phrasing,but we'll put you into death campif you can't rotate an apple in your head.That's another stupid fucking mean thing.Apple on your head? That's, yeah,it's the idea. Can you rotate an apple in your head?
14:13Like right now,As I speak, I'm flipping the apple up and down, and now I'm taking a bite out of it.Now I'm smiling into the camera.A real wicked grin.You know what I'm talking about?Not at all.What the fuck are you talking about?Apparently there are people that cannot visualize.
14:29They don't have a mind's eye.And the meme goes that they're NPCs.And I found, I remember when that was the NPC thing was first described to me, it was when I was off 4chan.And there's this motherfucker in my tech school class in the Air Force.and he was a staff sergeant.He, very pole, motherfucker.He, um...So, a poll, it's the political board on a four-hand.
14:54Which is the definitely higher echelon school measure type.Someone with all like the balls of countries making fun of each other?Oh, Poland ball.I don't know if that started there, but that, yeah, that was a thing on there.But pole has a reputation.Tell me about it.Well, it's just Nazi shit.No, it's just, that's the reputation.
15:13It's just, you know.Like, I used to go on Hiss all the time, and you'll find the skull measures on there.And I just trolled them.That's where they go, you know?But, yeah, no, I remember.So at one point, I said something in that class in tech school.So it's the Air Force.It's mostly guys fresh out of basic training like me and a few older guys that, like,
15:33were on their second list.Like, they changed their careers or whatever.And I said something.And I cannot remember what.It was something about Jewish religious practices.And the guy in front of me, he asked, oh, are you kosher?And I was like, what?He was asking if I was Jewish.
15:50And I guess that's the way he, I don't know.It became an inside joke in the class that my nickname became kosher, which is stupid as shit.That's so awesome.I love that.It's not the worst nickname, but I don't know.And he, the poll guy, I don't think he understood any of that.And he asked, are you really Jewish?And I was like, no.
16:07And he gave me this weird look and he talked about the poisoning, the well shit from like the Middle Ages.He was dead serious.What is poisoning the well?That the Jews would poison the wellsAnd that's how the black plague got started.Like I don't knowHe was a very intense and small personI don't know
16:23But it was interestingBeing subjected to anti-SemitismAnd feelingLike how dare you insultMy Jewish heritageYou sick, fuckIt's kind of funny thoughLike no it was funny
16:36It's just bizarre in retrospectThat now I know what it feels liketo be discriminated against for my Jewish faith.I mean, like, just to get into that weirdness.I mean, we have a friend who works at a head shop,and every now and then some neo-Nazis will come in,but whenever they turn them away,because we have a good friend, we'll say it like that,
17:00he'll usually say, fuck off, you know,or maybe give them like a...Oh, yeah, a straight-up Nazi, or the swastika face.Yeah, swastika face, the chest, all that, the weird little...What's the...there's a number that they like.I don't know what it is.It doesn't matter.
17:14Anyway,it's like they're all fucked up.But like,um,they'll come back like a week later with bandages,covering up the swastikas and the numbers and the,the lightning bolts and all that shit.And it's like,
17:24you're so much of a fucking piece of shit.Even like,this is the life you chose for yourself and you're a coward and it as well.Like this is a lot horrible,man.I try not to,who fucking knows.He probably can't rotate an apple in his head wolf.
17:38It's over.I don't think you.Okay.I'll admit.Maybe there are stupid people.You know, you brought me back.So there's this bit in the nightmare essay that YouTube,please go to my Patreon and view the video for free.
17:50It's genuinely the best writing I've ever done,and YouTube was like, get that shit out of here.I took an anti-diddling perspective in the video.I'm sorry I got political.YouTube obviously tries to not take sidesin the whole diddling debate.What were we talking about?It's just a crazy fence to sit on.
18:06That's all you need to say.No, that's the joke.No, it wasn't.That wasn't the problem.The problem was I included footage from a bullfight in Spain.Yeah, you went with a bullfight.They're literally, it's a cheering crowd, and I'm sure there are children watching it.So I don't know why the fuck YouTube thinks it's not okay to put on there.
18:22It wasn't like I...We do that.Yeah.Like, it was a video that I pulled from YouTube, and granted, I decontextualized it because PETA posted it,and I was like, I do not want a conversation about fucking PETA on this video.I just don't need to hear it.That would be so much fun just to...spend like an hour just reading through the history of contrivance that is pita like like there's
18:45like i'm an animal guy i'm an ecologist kind of guy right i do not fuck with pita man it's too much it's toomuch it's exactly it's all marketing i was trying to talk about my childhood of abuse and i wascomparing my experience to a cow and you know industrial farming and how it doesn't understand why it'ssuffering or what it's suffering in service to and i did not want to stop the video to have a conversationabout PETA or get a bunch of comments aboutPETA's bad actually like yeah I knowwhatever yeah you know what'sI don't the entire
19:15nation of Spain has once again wrongedme the entire nationof Spain and its history was madespecifically to bother meWolf I don't know if you know that I don't care for the Spanish Empireand the Spanish nationalistswhich inexplicably exist as though their nation is not amassive embarrassment
19:34like imagine doing the wholeEuropean harvesting the world for cashthing. But you don't even getto like be on top at the end of that.Like you're still just a third world nationwith pretty...Fucking bull fights.I still can't believe that.
19:50Are you going to get like a bunch of Barcelona's pissed at youafter this comes out? Like is that what's going to happen?You're going to get a bunch of Spanish people.Yeah, they're going to be like, they're going to act like we don't know anythingbecause we don't know the name of their micro nationthat wants independence.As though anyone in our, in the Anglo sphereneeds to think about Spain. We've harnessed the
20:07power of the sun to vanquish our foesand they're over theretaking afternoon naps and killingcows in public with a cheering crowdas though they aren't barbariansthe Romans had it rightwhenever they wrote about the ones that lived in the fuckingmountains those fucking Celts up there
20:25I'll be honest the ones that I believe turned into the pastI have very little to say of the Spanishbecause I just have so little investment but I don't know one fun fact about themI measured their skulls and they don't deserve itthey do deserve that excuse methey banned the use of, if you're a fisherman,the way that you get your line to sink is you put lead on it.In America, you put lead on it or steel.
20:46But in Spain, they banned the use of steel and lead to be thrown in waters.So instead of using that, they literally take rubber bands and rocks.Tie it to a line, and that's how they use that as a sinker.I just find that to be an interesting fact.They find a rock on the side of the ground.Tie a rubber band to it, tie it to your line, and cast it.They're backwards people.I just don't care for them.
21:10And if they continue to come into my videos and say the phrase black legend,as if that is an argument in and of itself.What is that?We've talked about this.The fucking Dutch and the English would, indeed, they would slander the Spanish Empire.However, that's number one, as though Spain didn't do the same thing to the Inca and the Aztec.Like, it's every empire that has ever existed,is nefarious as fuck.
21:37Yeah.And they are predicated upon their subjects not deserving, you know, the very rights that we now in modern times hold to be sacred and this and that.But there were people within the Spanish empire that were like, hey, nefarious shit's being done.Like, I take issue with the conquistadors and the general, the way they treated the Native Americans as a fucking Christian.So it pisses me off whenever they're like, well, we brought.them Christianity. The storyof Christ's sacrifice is inherentlycompelling, the idea of God
22:12bleeding for you. Like, there's a reason that it spread.You didn't have to make anyone do anything.You know, and it's just absurd.The idea that you had to...Listen, Wolf, if we didn't force them into the blackminds of Potosi, where they could toil for generations,then they would never have come to Christ.You got to just beat the shit out of them.
22:34Over and over.so that they really just want to come to God.I think I found a difference between you and I.Whenever you want to watch somethingor listen to something that makes you feel good or niceor exploratory, right?I've noticed that you tend to go toward more optimistic,more fantastic pieces of media, right?
22:56Even like sci-fi and all that.But what I've realized, that whenever I'm in a happy place,I feel good, I've had lunch, the sun is shining.It feels good.I want to watch gritty, awful war movies from any decade.So, like, have you seen All Quiet on the Western Front?No, he keeps trying to get me to watch it.See, that's the problem is that we're at different links, right?
23:15It's like, whatever.Well, no, it's because I read, like, I'm going to talk about this.Like, I, in high school, you remember, that was all I liked was this dark gritty shit.But, like, now I read these actual history books.And when I want ambiguity or just shocking violence or these explorations of, like, man's darker side,I get it from history booksand I don't want it from fiction at this pointI get it from my dusty books about naval battles
23:38I see I don't like it for the realistic aspect of itI like it for the fantastic realistfantastic aspect of it feels sodistance because I've never gotten trench footin 1910 or whatever it is likethere's something about it I'm excited actuallyI forgot to ask so now I'm in a history classand I and I'm not trying to I get it
23:59You started collegeyeah I started college I started two days againI started college a week ago, or just about, and it's funny, my history professor, I was just about vibrating out of my skin, because I get it.Like, they're kids.Like, these are fucking kids that are fresh out of high school, and they don't know, and I didn't know at the time either.But it's like, you know, he said, history isn't just what happened in the past.It's an argument.And I was just about, like, shaking out of my skin.
24:22Like, I was like, and he was going through all this shit so slowly.It doesn't, you know, I get it.But I can tell I'm going to be a little mad in that.class.Where was I going with this?You get to open up arguments later on though.You go to the office hours and say, here's why you're wrong, and then you listen.Well, I don't know if he was trying to get us to say this.
24:43He showed this wood etching from a European depicting some native group.I can't even remember their name.They were from Florida.And he was like, what can you tell about this group from this etching?And what I wanted to say is nothing.Like, I was just looking at it and I was like, no Indians looked like this.Like, the depiction was very Garden of Eden coded.I don't know how to put it.
25:03Well, no, they were toiling.It looked like a biblical wood carving.No, no, it's, there was a very much, there was two different ways of thinking about and depicting Native Americans in Europe at that time.And it was like, they're these pure untouched people, not sullied by, you know, civilization or whatever.And then there was the other school, which is these are savage freaks that we need to fix.you know and it was you can tell which they thought you know it fundamentally was it was a man thatclearly never met or saw them and he was just going off of what he read and i you know that's it'suseless you can tell what he thought about native americans you can't tell anything about
25:43native americans just from that you know yeah i i think that might have been what he was trying tobait out of us maybe i should have said it but i am very cautious about going full teacher's pet rightnow. Well, it's just that, like, academia is at its core about arguments, right? I mean, like,you can sit here and we can actually craft a theorem and make a dissertation and prove it or notprove it or try to attempt to lack of proving it. Like, you can do that now. You will have theability to do that from this point forward. You can contribute to things. You've probably alreadybeen cited at least once. You have the ability to do that now. It's real. So it is now an argument.You have to convince people.
26:23Once again, I'm vibrating out of my skin.I'm down the road on this shit, Wolf.I know how it works.I know.Yeah, but you don't have pedigree.Yeah, no, I understand.Well, that's why I'm there.I'm not mad about it.
26:35It's just, I can tell it's going to be a problem.The second that I can, I got this trick.I'm really excited to pull out.I'm not sure if I'll have a chance,but I really want to say, like,I'm setting the scene and I pull out the temperatureand the weather.I'm going to find the weather recorded
26:52at the nearest possible location.But the thing is, I'm not sure if I could pull that from,this is early American history.So I'm not sure if I'll be able to find that information.Would it be in the almanac?Well, the almanac is supposed to predict the future or whatever the fuck.It's not supposed to, you know, I would want somethinga little more solid and actionable.
27:10He talked about, you remember James Mooney?He's a guy that wrote the ghost dance book that I've been reading.He mentioned him.And I, once again, I was like,but fuck i don't know we'll get there we'll get there for now i think it should go to be a thonestly uh yeah no absolutely eventually well the problem is right now i'm still not sure howmuch of my time this is going to eat up um i'm excited i'm enjoying it so far i can tell the oneclass that i'm going to have an ass grade in it's like the this is how you do university
27:44class you know what i mean um i'm i was hoping it would show youSo, I don't know, thus far, it's like they made me form into a group, and I'm the only, in most of the classes, obviously, I'm clearly the oldest guy there, which is fine.But in that one, I genuinely feel like I should be babysitting them, and it's awful.You get over it quick, do you?Trust me.No, I'm sure I will.It's just the way it is, you know.For some reason, this girl approached me as I was, like, walking to class, and she was like, hi, do you work here?
28:13And I said something super mean for no reason.I was like, oh, do I look that old?No, I don't.But then it's like, there are a million 28-year-olds that must work there.It was a perfectly fair question she asked.And I made her feel bad for no reason.I feel awful about that.Oh, don't worry about it.
28:29It's mostly just because people are, she was probably asking, like, hey, where do I go?She was probably asking me.Yeah, no.She, and there was no reason whatsoever.There was nothing wrong with assuming that I work there.I am the appropriate age to be working there.You probably, I just made her feel bad.You were probably dressed more accordingly as well.
28:45No, I was wearing my little slutty twink shawl.actually. Nice.Nice.But it's so, I swear my,so naturally, as viewers that sawmy nightmare Patreon videocan attest to,I got a lot of awful things
29:06from my fucking childhood and I inherited some awful thingsfrom my parents. But among those awful things,my mom gave me hyperhydrosis.And I sweat. I'm just sweating all the time.Like a damn pig.Just awful.And I'm literally, I'll be sitting there in class, just pouring sweat.I hate people.
29:27I hate being in their presence.What do you want, Kat?It'll come out over time, man.My hyperhydrosis, no wolf.This is my condition.He's being ablest to my fucking face.I'm talking to a guy who won't walk around and flip-flopsbecause he thinks his feet don't need to be shown.
29:43Just walk around and flip-flops, you know?That's not why I don't walk around and flip-lops.Where what you're wearing right now?I don't walk around in flip-flops because I don't find them comfortable.Oh, I guess that's fair.You assume that all my things are a product of my social anxiety.However, only most of them are, woof.I can't assume if it's your anxiety.
30:01I just assume it's what you chose, you know?No, I assume I harbor some great shame about my feet.See, if you turn off my computer with your adorable little paws,I'm going to beat the shit out of you.Don't pick her up.She hates that.Sorry.Animal abuse.
30:15I'm calling the ASPCA.The problem with Sia, if y'all would like to know more about...You got some caffeine.Yeah, no, you can have Oceli.The problem with Sia, the DJ Peach Cobler channel mascot,is that she's chasing after Wolf like a whore.And also, uh, she...She doesn't like being picked up.
30:35But she will not assert herself.She will simply accept it.And it drives me crazy.And I tell her, Sia, stand up for yourself, but she never will.Your cat is fucking bitch made.Just say that.really is. Just say she's been true. I'm looking at her right now. She looks like a smaller catwearing a larger cat as a costume. Like, I don't know how to describe it. She's beautiful.
30:57Sia is literally me. She takes after me that you can see in her eyes her for her weakness.That's why I don't make that fucking eye contact. Oh God, so how do you like school so far? How are you like walking around a college campus?No, it's nice. I like it. I can tell I'm really going to enjoy it.I like all my professorsthere was a land acknowledgementwhich despite my great fondnessfor Native American historyand my empathy for their continued
31:28struggle against the bullshitmy Godplease support the Apache strongholdtheir bullshit fighttheir fight isn't bullshit they're fightingagainst the bullshit butdespite all that I find land acknowledgementstheir white man touchdown dances
31:45that's what they fucking are like give theLARPing Mexicans is a very funny way to put it.Like Sashi and Little Feather.LARPing Mexicans has been a prolonged issue with Native American right.You know Sashi and Little Feather?Yeah, yeah, we go back.Yeah.Okay, so Sashi and Little Feather, she was his Mexican broad
32:02that dressed like a Native American all the fucking time.Marlon Brando at one point, he refused an Academy Award and she accepted it for him.Have you, you haven't seen that?No.Oh, yeah, well, she accepted it for him.And to be clear, like, the idea of what he was doing was cool,because it was like, you know, this is like the 70s, and he's like, hey, the way you depict Native Americans and movies is fucked up.So it's like she got to go up there and be like, hey, go fuck yourselves.
32:23She posed in Playboy once.She's a good-looking woman.But by all indications, she's just a Mexican chick dressed like a Native American and trying to grift, you know.Like I said, it's just been a thing.But it's also, it's very much a cultural thing.It's not a blood thing to be clear.Like, it was very emphasized in the other slavery by all.Andres or Zendes, like, if you, or Comanche or Apache, and you spend a lot of your time
32:52raiding and kidnapping, screaming Latina women, you just inevitably end up with pretty Mexicanpeople.You know what I'm saying?Yeah, as a result.Which is funny because at one point, Geronimo, he was a, he did this massacre on the San Carlosreservation, which is so funny to read about how little he gave a fuck.He broke into the reservation, did a matter.massacre for the purposes of recruiting more and then left the reservation.
33:20Like, that's the level of shit he could get away with.Like, that's why they didn't let him back in Arizona, and the poor son of a bitch had to die in Oklahoma.But, like, they were genuinely scared of him.And, I mean, it's sort of hard to fault them because, as he said in his autobiography, like, yeah, no, I'd keep fighting Mexicans now if I wasn't 80.Like, that was the only thing stopping him.Time had to defeat Geronimo.Nothing else would.I kind of love that's kind of hard when you say it like that.
33:45No, he was very complicated.In that literal, I'm pulling this from Western Apache rating and warfare,which I highly recommend.It's got some incredible accounts in these little.The Apache would use poisoned arrows,and it turns out they would bury,I forget if it was a deer's liver or their spleen,and it would rot, and then they would use that material, you know, on their arrowheads.
34:09However, they also had this bit.They would say, oh, yeah, you get a pregnant woman to fart on the air.just clearly a joke about howI guess pregnant women's farts smell badbut it came up twiceand it just cracks me upit's kind of funnyyeah no I love because the Apache
34:27obviously like every Native American grouptends to have this like stoic reputationbut the Apache were particularly stoicit seems like the Comanchewere much more fun like if you had to pickif I had to stand in one placeand watch and encroaching force combI would look real stoic to anyone
34:45watching me.Well, the Apache were just, like I said, they were a product of such a nightmarish fuckingplace.It's like, you want to, really the impression I get is like the goal was to be thebaddest motherfucker in prison.Like, I'm not even joking.Yeah.You just, you couldn't show weakness.
35:03I'm going to talk about Diablo or, you know, of course Diablo was a Spanish exonym, you know,and of course that, the Mexicans, like all.Like, the Mexicans were his enemy.So, you can't take Diablo to actually be representative of his personality, of what he was like.His Apache name, the name the Apache gave him, was, he is constantly angry, which is, I think, actually, a scarier name.It's kind of a good day, though.It's so funny, but in Western Apache rating and warfare, his daughter's testimony is recorded, and it's on one level adorable, because it's like this old woman reminiscing fondly about her father and how much she clearly respected him.But on the other hand, it's terrifying because Diablo is fucking scary.
35:49And there's, I'll talk about it all in the video.But, yeah, this is how I'm going to use the podcast just to tease people.Just tease them.What did he is constantly angry do?I know they're not going to read a book.Or if they are, they better read fucking Geronimo's autobiography.And there's a reason I keep trying to get them to do that because he lies.He very much, to be clear, obviously he's a victim of, uh, what kinds of lies?
36:13Like, what kinds?I can't.You know what I'll say, because this is, like, I've recommended, at this point, I'm dragging my feet on the video so much.Like, fuck it.Geronimo, the massacre that occurred outside Janos, his mother, his wife, three children all scalped at best.It's very possible, and he doesn't consider this in his autobiography, and I think about that a lot.I suspect that he knew this had been going on for a long time, the constant kidnapping of women and children selling them into slavery.I think that he didn't want to consider it.
36:46I think he harbored shame that he didn't, that they, the Apache men there, didn't go after Carosco's militia,which, to be clear, was not feasible at the time.But it's very possible they died laboring in some shadowy part of history that we, you know.But he presents that, the massacre at Janos.And then after that, I forget the name of the battle, but there was a battle outside of Mexican town.And it was Edwin Sweeney, who is this very, very, very.famous Wild West historian, and I can't check his work. So, you know, bear this in mind. But hewent and he, like, consulted all these archives in Northern Mexico. He was like, what battle is
37:24Geronimo describing after the massacre at Janos? Like this retribution, and it's a prettybadass fucking battle, and you're rooting for the guy after what happened to him. Edwin-Sweeney couldnot find a record of any battle similar to that, what Geronimo described, except one thatoccurred before the massacre at Janos. So the massacre at Janos then, obviously, it's importantto note that in the Wild West, women and children were lawful combatants, and you just wentfor them. Universal fucking state, unfortunately. Like, I've read about every color, every creed,every people, except for, frankly, a few of the Native American groups who just absolutely woulddo awful, awful things to the women and the children. So I'm not trying to justify the massacre at Janos.
38:10However, it does change the situation profoundly from the wronged Geronimo, who was attacked for no reason, to, you know, it's the women and children were, unfortunately, as always happened here, were caught in the middle of this ongoing conflict.The simple fact, like, I believe Edwin Sweeney, it's the papers called I Had Lost All.It's available on J.S. Torr, highly recommend.But yeah, just in general, Geronimo is a huge victim.but as I talk about my Patreon videoI hate that I was essentially creating an origin storyfor my history shitbut like when you get diddled by a 13 year old girl
38:49and you're just in general victimized by victimsyour whole childhood you develop a very complicated ideaof victimhood you can be a victimand at the very least Geronimothere's a vital dimension to him he was a huge dickhe was just a dick like I read accounts of himwalking up to Apache Chiefs and being like hey give me whiskeyyou always have whiskey give me whiskey where's the whiskey
39:09Just massive douchey asshole thing.He was just, he was mean.And it feels stupid.He committed these massacres.To be the last Native American is surrendered to the United States government,like you have to be necessarily very different from the rest of them.And that's my fear talking about this,because all these people, 14-year-olds,
39:33that do not understand nuance,who don't understand the complexities of victimhood and violence and conflict,And they're going to come to my videos.And, like, I'm going to tell them, like, that story that I read earlier about the Tonkua and Comanche.And they're going to be like, isn't it nice that us Americans stopped this as though Americans were not perpetuating?Americans literally were a big part of the reason that conflict just happened, what I read, you know, because the Tonkua were.I see a line.And America was totally willing to work with them because they didn't give a fuck.
40:01Well, I see the line now.I can see it.Okay.And I think, unfortunately, you're trapped.See, you had the office.option to go into this just blatantly saying mistruths and telling stories and all of that,like 98% of the other creators in this space.But instead, you burden yourself with truth.
40:20Yeah, the story changes as I learn more.Originally, I was very down.It was just going to be, here's a story about a sad man that got shit on his whole life.It speaks to your quality as a content creator, an artist, and as a person, but it meansthat it's, you know, like the issues you're having right now, the issues you have talked to meabout for the last six months.These are things you'll deal with until you stop making stuff like this,until you start writing fantastic bullshit that people have been listening to for hundreds of years,
40:46or if you burden yourself with more truth.And I think that's a burden that you love it.I know you love it because your eyes light up when you're like,oh, and I found out of this tiny detail that canceled out this other thing.Like, I think that's, I mean, that's fundamentally your struggle.It's going to be yours forever, you know?History should be a complicated thing.And what I bristle against, I, the fact is what I'm describing,
41:08is I resent that I'm writing history for non-historians, which is why I'm going to schooland majoring in history.The problem is, like, I was literally sitting in a, that group, or I was put in a groupfor that class we were talking about.Orientation.The one that, yeah.And five of us, three of them were history majors, and I was talking, and I wasn't, I'mnot trying to put them down here.
41:30They're 19, 18-year-olds, right?And they're just like, I just like history.And it's like, oh, you know, you don't.You don't know it.You don't get it.You're shaking them.Get it.Get a control.
41:43I start slapping them and talking about how the Kronkwa ate guys.But you know what?Throw them across the expo boards.That's nothing.Eating a guy sometimes.Like, you're going to be an interesting project partner in the future.I don't know if you'd be a good one, but you'd be an interesting project partner.I'm just currently, I keep focusing on the eating guys.
42:04You're going back to the cannibalism.I want to write a paper.for this professor thatI don't know if he knows all this shit about the Caronquabecause it's very easy to justbecause I remember in Andres Rzendeza historian I greatly respect he saidthe Caronkua most likely didn't do this
42:20then I got like this encyclopediaof native groups and it was like the cronquiamost likely once again they used that phrasedidn't do this and I hate thatshit you know so you just keeplooking and you keep digging and then you essentially findtestimonies that are impossible to justcontrovert like the
42:36Jean-Baptiste Toulogne who'sFrench kid and he gave his, this is all inTimothy F. Sider's paper, literally just Googlere-examining Gulf Coast cannibalism. And he was just like a studentat the time. Incredible fucking paper.Hard-ass truths in that paper.And, you know, it's done empathetically. He's not just like,actually they deserved it.
42:58You wouldn't be exactly respected in academiaif he said that. But, you know, he's just like,they didn't live to impress you. Their culturalstandards that they had, like they did notexist for you. They came from an entirely different non-European, non-old world background, and youcan't really, like, you can't judge the fucking white people at this time by our standards, you know?And it's, you certainly can't judge these people that had no, you know, concept of, uh, all ourshit. But John Baptiste Toulon is his French kid. He was kidnapped, or he, he was at this
43:28fort founded by LaSalle, and the Kronkwa attacked, and I believe they completely destroyed the fort,and they took some French kids. And, uh, the Kronkwa, almost universal things.with Native Americans. They treated kids a lot better than white people did at this time in history.Throw them in Chinese and make them work. They put them in a little weighted blanket. They give themthe colored blocks. Robert, Robert. They would give them safe spaces. Robert. They have tiny hands,which fit perfectly in tiny gearboxes. Put them to work. That's what I'm saying, man. Just get thoselittle hands in there. Well, I think it's just, I think if you live in a quote unquote civilization,specifically if you need to make them wear 18 layers of clothes
44:07and not think outside the box everlike you have all this like you knowI think Europeans had to shape children morethan say the Karankawa would need to you knowlike you don't even got to wear fucking shoesyou don't got to deal with that shit you know yeahand uhthere's something I wanted to touch base on
44:29because you were talking about like bringing something up to your professoryou're starting your college career, I'm about to end minebecause I'm going to be done by the same time.Your first semester is over.The one issue, and I know there's people listening to thiswho would have the same problem,they're going to be like, yeah, fuck, I hate it when that shit happens.You eventually become invested in your academic career.
44:50Eventually, even if you're just there for the degree,eventually you love learning about whatever it is.And the issue with that is you want to ask questions.So you normally think, oh, I'll ask the person.I spent $53 a session to stand here.here and listen to and ask questions, I'll ask them.And it's not an issue of knowledge or where that knowledge is coming from.It's just a communication issue, man.
45:13Like sometimes you try to talk to these professors who are so old and jaded that you haveto construct your question in such a way to where they can understand it.And that will be the ultimate issue toward the end, right?That's why all this like academic language exists, right?To like cut through the menagerie of different like ideas.I shouldn't even be using the phrase cannibalism.It's anthropophagy.That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard, but I believe you.
45:37Is it really called that?Yeah, that's just the less loaded term.Sounds like a platformer game from like 2012.But yeah, that's the issue, is that you'll want to ask questions, you'll want to learn, you'llwant to understand better, but you won't be able to ask questions to some of your teachersor professors or doctors because you won't be able to phrase it in a way they'll beable to understand and concisely answer you.And that is just the biggest tragedy, I feel like, at least when it comes to getting your college education, you know,
46:06because you'll have someone in front of you with decades of experience, a wealth of knowledge,and true opinions that can construct yours into something a little more concise and better.And you won't be able to pull it out of them because it's fucking hard, you know?And I think that's something else.If I don't know why, no, I know why I'm returning to the cannibalism thing.Because it's a fight that I think is already going to happen.Cannibalism?No, the second I have a chance to write a paper for this.
46:31professor specifically, no, because then it would just be like me, I don't know what I would.I would want to pick a hard, I, I'm fundamentally uninterested in easy arguments, and that'salways been my problem.And then I'll make these hard arguments, and then I'll be like, why does no one, or why iseveryone having such a hard time agreeing with me?You'll build a coliseum in the desert and ask why no one wants to fight you.Cowards.Cowards.
46:55God.Like, so the two videos I'm working on now, one is this vehemently.anti-Indian account written by someone that lived among the Apache and Comanche for nine years and it's like and it is a white kid that did it but he was taken at the age of 11 so I'm going to have people go on X the everything app and they're going to be like if this guy didn't like I mean he lived with them for almost a decade during very formative time in his life then clearly they had it coming and it's like what I'm going to talk about in the video but there's that it hard argument but essentially obviously my argument is hey it's more complicated thanjust becausejust because someone is deaddoesn't mean their opinionon what happened to themis worth a damn
47:37like you can have someone tell youtheir life story nowand it's clear they don't understandreally whatthey're not connecting the dots properlylike we were bringing up my dadlike there's some peopleit's just it's beyond them
47:50the comprehension of their own lifeandopinionslike I've read dead men's opinionsand I'm like damnthis guy is on some shithe's really got itBut, you know, this Herman Lehman motherfucker, he just did not understand.
48:05What becomes very clear in his account is he believes that civilization rehabilitated him.The reality is his family's love rehabilitated him.And I hate to be cheesy about it.It's sort of cute.I'm glad that he managed to no longer have to fight the nightmare wars.But unfortunately, for his Apache and Comanche friends, they had to keep dealing with the bullshit.And he thankfully just didn't have to.And basically he was subjected to a genocide.
48:34But he put the account.We'll get into it.We'll get into it.But it's like you point someone in the direction of like that sort of historical.I guess the question always is, can you trust people with actual nuance and knowledge?You know, and I like to think so, but it's inevitable.Some people can't be trusted with knowledge.You'll present to the whole image, or at least the best you can.
48:59and they'll pick the pieces they likeand that's all the daybut they remember.You're telling me the product you're marketing.People aren't going to like what you wanted them to like about it.Oh,you're telling me they're going to pick and choosewhatever they like about it and not the best parts
49:11of a product.You're going to go and actually everything appand be like,is he our guy?Yeah.I don't know.I'm just like,I don't know.
49:18It's just funny to me like to hear you say thatbecause like that is my career pathis dealing with that.Dealing with that.And I feel like so many people take this wolf ofWall Street approach to it.like, yeah, we're going to control the masses,and this is how they are.
49:33And, of course, we're not trying to control anyone.No, no, no, I'm not saying you.I just saying that, like, I hear arguments like this, you know,because I'm in a ghoulish career path.Like, it's normal to run across people like this.And reality, it's like fishing.Like, I just came back from fishing.Dude, you're just putting shit into the water,
49:53and the randomness of life will make shit happen.People will pick and choose random shit from your videosand spat it back.out at you as though it means anything.They won't decontextualize, then re-contextualize, and then approach and then formopinion and do all that.And I'm going to do all that bullshit.They're just going to snap too fire on X the everything up.
50:10And that's it.Like, it's just a bunch of bullshit, you know.Get a blue sky.Get a low-funk, no.Have you gone on blues?No, it's, well, that's, I'm so, it's culture war bullshit.It's, there are people that would genuinely take the position that, regardless of whetherthey're not the Kronkua practiced anthropophagy.
50:30They, uh, you can't talk about it because their sheer victimhood means that it just shouldn'tbe discussed.But obviously, you know, I think that when you see complexity in history, you're not supposedto ignore it.No, no, we should blame victims.I don't, I want to understand them.They are an alien people who I struggle to understand and that's the goal and that's part of it.They also, uh, as Timothy Sider pointed out in his paper, they at the very least
50:57practiced cannibalism in a super abstract waywhere they, it seems that for their deadthey would burn them and they would drinkthe ashes, which is sort ofinteresting. And I find that interesting becausethey would eat their enemies, liketo punish themand they would
51:12drink, you understand what I'm saying? Like, I guessI think there's like, there's somesignificance there that's lost on.There's a weird relationship withthe consuming. I don't know.I'm trying to like wrap my head around it, but it's hardall the weirdlayers to it. I wonder if they invented
51:29a version of lie, though.Like, I wonder if they had anyash in water. Like, I wonder if, like,I wonder if they had, like, any, that doesn't matter.Stupid conversation topic. You know, the galls.The galls wouldbleach their hair and lie water.Really? Uh-huh. Yeah, I know, it's a
51:45It's actually, I'm cribbing all this.Yeah, I know. It's got a hard as fuck.The dying gall, I'm cribbing all of this from,if you want to wonder what got me into thisnightmare history shit, you can blame Dan Carlinin his incredible podcast, hardcore history.I listened to the Celtic Holocaust, and I was like, number one, oh, Julius Caesar wrote a book, and I can read Julius Caesar's, you know, how he felt about everything, you know.And that, once again, that was my realization that the professor in college was trying to impart, you know, that history is, it's a collection of stories, of accounts and records.
52:21And it's not this solid thing.and you have to argue about it, and all that, you know.You know, I just, where history came from, became a fascination.And where was I going with this? I'm sorry.But in the podcast, he talked about the dying gall statue,which I think about constantly as it pertains to Native Americans.But it's like he's, like, heroically nude, and he's, like, falling.And it's like, there's his sword there, which is actually, I think, a later inclusion.
52:50We're not sure how the statue was originally displayed, because I think about this a lot.When you get low on the...I can't remember if Dan Carlin talked about this.This is what I saw when I saw it in person in Rome.If you get really low on the statue and you look up into it,it's a very intimidating expression.Like very sinister.This like Gallic warrior with his mustache and his beads.
53:11He looks like an 80s rock star.Yeah.Like genuinely.And it's like scary as shit.But then you look at him from other perspectives and it's very pitiful,but like in an almost dignified way.Sort of the way that a lot of people will write about Native Americans.Like there's, you know, and I, the way that I try to avoid, like, look at this noble savage and is, you know, this great warrior who casts down by not another great warrior, but rather logistics and technology or whatever.
53:38You know, this warrior who met, who, it doesn't matter.Met his end of circumstance, the hand of God, whatever you want to insert.But that's what I think about is dying gall, is how was it displayed?Was it meant to be this, was it meant to impart that very, I would think, very complicated sort of perspective of victimhood, of warriors and all that?Or was it meant to be like, look at this menacing gall we vanquished, you know, which is obviously much more Roman thing.However, it's a copy of a Greek statue, which is an important thing to note.Really?Mm-hmm.
54:14It was, in spirit or a literal copy?A literal copy.They would make copies of Greek statues were pretty common.thing.I forget where I was going with that.It's just a really fucking cool statue.One of those statues where when I saw it in person,I was like, it really feels like it's going to move and grab you.
54:36I haven't seen many statues in my life.I don't know why.The only one I can think of right now is in this town.It's from a specific book.I used to date a Christian who talked about it.It was about Christ going into a storm,and he opened his handsand the storm calmed or whatever,
54:53but it's in front of this big Catholicis the cathedral downtown.And I remember the first time I saw it,there was like a hurricane coming throughand it was like one of the spoilsand started to hit the townand so I was driving throughand all I see is this like big, red, glowing light
55:09and a massive bronze statue of Christ on a boathands open up into this storm.I thought that, I kind of like statues now.I kind of get it.I kind of like it, you know.It's not as complex,the idea of a dying gall, nor does it lackthe historical circumstance, but
55:24I don't know, I don't go.Statues are awesome. I don't come from a place where statuesare common. I love, if you're lookingviewers also, I'm just going to give them lists of statues to look up.I think it's just called the, I can never pronounce this, thepugilist, or is it pugalist?Pugalist, I think. Pugolist, okay. Well, it's aGreek statue, and it's from, I just read the Wikipedia
55:45about it, you know, so this is not exactlyesoteric knowledgebut ithe looks so beat downthere's nothing heroic about itit's once again that sort ofdying gall like that sort of woundeddignity but there's still dignity in it
56:00very interesting statuebut I love it because you justonce again it's bronze so I'm assuming it wasprobably easier to makeI say as though I have any experiencemaking statue yeah I'm looking behind me as like a welding kitI mean I have made so many bronze statuesof course life skies
56:17Braun statues. It's so easy.It'd be kind of cool to make, though. What a cool hobbywould that be? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I oftenlike Valorant, history books,bronze statue making. Do not say that Ilike Valorant. It's not your favorite game.You talk about all the time. You're a jet main, right?Yeah, that's your favorite game. You love
56:35the rocket launcher. You're like, oh, why don't they make more gameslike this? You say that all the time. All right, guys, thanks forstopping by. I'm a E-Haw Gaming Podcast.Jimenez, what do you haveagainst the... We're getting Barack Obama.I just don't play it.I don't give a shit about one of those games.I actually, should we stop the podcast?
56:53I got to be getting ready here.Because I need to go buy a book for class.So I can, I don't know, it feels weird going back to school.It is nice, though.I definitely feel ready to wreck this shit in a good way.You're going to breeze through it.Well, thus far, the Spanish, I'm really looking.I'm looking forward to just learning Spanish.
57:14I can't wait for the first, like, project where it's like,hey, have a conversation in Spanish in front of mebecause I'm sure it's going to start withMiyamo X. I'm going to say MiamoDon Quixote de la mancha.Listen, I nevermet a windmill whose ass I couldn't fucking kicklet me say.
57:35I'm just picturing you. That isone of the goals. Genuinely my lifelife reading goals. ReadCaesar's Conquest of Gaul in Latinwhich I'm just going to be honest. That's never going tofucking happen. And beat the shit out of a windmill, yeah.Well, no, read to fucking Don Quixote in Spanish.I say as though I finished it in English.
57:51I'm like halfway through.What a fucking...The problem is it's 800 pages.It's super dense prose, obviously.And there's...I'm never going to be able to make a video specifically about Don Quixote.Even when I try to work it into videos because I can't...You know how obsessed I am with them?
58:08Like, it just...It overwhelms everything.And also, I have to explain who Don Quixote is.I think you're going to eventually.and whenever you come back to this clip later onand you clip this in the beginningand you make an entire 45-minute video on Don Quixote,I'll remember this moment.
58:26I'll remember the taste of the Celsius.Maybe someday.I think it'd be good.It would be a good, I don't know.You don't have to make everything that's popular.That's like making a video about half-life.What the fuck is there to say about Don Quixote?There's always new opinions to say, you know?
58:42Like, there's always new people coming into a space to hear new things.I think it's boring and there should have been more sex scenes.Half-life?I think Don should have hung dong, homie.Mostly with the Don Quixote shit, I can't avoid the...When I'm sober, I'm Don Quixote.And when I'm drunk, I'm just that Don Burnham ass motherfucker.You know what I'm saying?
59:01The dichotomy of Don.Maybe that's the video.I think you should just give up on real life and go straight up to the cryptozoology.Like, be like a Bigfoot hunter.Get like a Nat Geo TV show.Oh, man, you know, it's funny.When I was a kid, I loved those Bigfoot shows.And it was my dad.
59:17He said, because, like, obviously, like, I'd, you know, as a kid, like, I dicked around in the woods and all that.And you've smelled, like, a rotting deer.Yeah.You can't, you know, imagine, like, a human rotting or a big foot, like, an eight foot tall.Like, how bad that would fucking smell.And he's like, why have his, you know, not a single dead bigfoot?And I was like, oh, yeah.We, like, we probably would have found one of those.
59:42We shot them all.That's what it was.We got rid of every last one.I like the idea the aliens dropped him off just to fuck with us.It's a little too Rick and Morty for my taste.Don't call me Rick and fucking.I mean, that show really disappeared, didn't it?Have you tried watching it recently?
59:59Oh, I love Frick and Morty.They really...I watch every season when it comes out.What fucks me up, though, is the voices.They really cannot...I can't remember what Justin Royland did, so I don't want to advocate for his return.Do you know what he did?Something involved in a young kid.
01:00:15Oh, not a young kid.kid kid but like a teenager and that's all the same it's in the same diddling squarebut like i could be wrong i don't fucking know want to talk about the flying spaghetti monsterwelcome back to the misinformation podcast you got some poor some poor redditor i'll be honesthey want to hear me say it's pickle rick the show is still good by the way like beyond like therick and morty weed pin shit and like uh like all that like the show is still good yeah maybe that isits problem is it just becameaggressively uncool to like during
01:00:48one of the long breaks because it takes themway too long to make a season.You know, like two or three years, but yeah, yeah, I don'tknow. I mean,see, that's why I could never be a content creatorbecause, like, I like to, I like to like things.You know?I like to, I like to have joie de leave.
01:01:05I like to go through life with a smile on my faceand joy in my heart.Yeah, have love in your heart.My fucking video about Halo is going to piss everyone offBecause I'm going to say, like, I'm going to say about Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, all this shit.I'm going to say, you need to stop.You need to stop enjoying all this escapist bullshit because it's just ruined your relationship with art.I'm just going to, you cannot tell people, hey, you don't actually like these things, like, but I'm going to.
01:01:31I'm going to tell Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Halo.I'm going to tell all of them to get fucked.You can say that about Halo.That's okay.Well, Halo, yeah, you can go, well, that's the thing is Halo sort of really, due to Microsoft's incompetence, there's no.No, and also Disney's with Star Wars.Like, it really helps highlight, like, hey, when you make art from a cynical place,turns out it's joyless and cynical.
01:01:53Like, because what bothers me about Halo fans, I'm going to make this exact point,is they will say, make Halo 3 again, make Halo 3 again, make Halo 3 again.But you remember when Disney just made a new hope again?Like, there's nothing to do.Halo 3 exists, and it's phenomenal.Why do you want a shallow corporate imitation?of Halo 3, which preys upon your love for it.People need to form healthier, more well-informed relationships to the escapist fiction they enjoy.
01:02:26I specifically focus on the escapist thing for reasons in the video, because obviouslyHalo is not defined by being escapist fiction.It's sort of bleak, but it is fundamentally, you know.I just, I don't know if it's such an issue.Yeah, it is an issue, of course, of a bit of it.With the observers, I just feel like it's...people making stuff.It's people making things and
01:02:47people liking it, you know?Like, that's what it's about, you know?Like, it's not about, like,latching onto trends. It's about creating somethingthat either now or laterinevitably becomes popular,whether it's a 90s fantasy seriesthat takes off on HBO
01:03:00or whether it's somethingthat's an instant smash success, you know?Like, it's...I'm not an artist, so it's hard for meto talk about art. It's difficultfor me. So, like, it's...Well, the basic... You don't need to befucking Pablo Picasso to
01:03:15point out the obvious reality that artistsdon't like being chained to a deskso they can make a shallow imitationof something that they had no hand in makingin the first place. Like it'sit feels a little, it's a littlehyperbolic to call it cruel, asI do in the video thus far, but I think
01:03:31it's fucking cruel to justto beg Microsoftto chain all these people to a deskso they can pump out Halo 3 again.You know, that's sort of fucked up, I think.Like, say what you will about whateverBioshock.Bioshock fans are not
01:03:47excited about Cloud Chamberstudios, the studio that 2K made fromthe ground up to shallowto shallowly, which is not even a word,whatever, to do the cynicalharvesting of the Bioshock IPthat is eventually going to come.Stuck in development hell. It hasn't
01:04:03happened yet, but I'm glad it hasn'thappened yet. I hope it never happens.For some reason, Halo fans lackthe necessary understandingto understand what they're asking for.Like, they think it's possible to get Halo 3 again, as though Halo 3 wasn't the product of a dedicated, talented team working within their own creation, trying to bring it to an epic conclusion.Did you see that documentary, too?What documentary?
01:04:27I quoted Marty O'Donnell.It's about, I think it's from Halo 3, but there's a documentary about people making the games, and it's beautiful.To be clear, I've done my research.It's good.It's a good video.I just like reading.I don't like watching shit like that.I like watching stuff.
01:04:41Yeah, yeah.What is it?The TikTok.room my brain can't um i don't even have tictock download i can't even use that excuse i just i don't knowit just like i think we're fundamentally different people when it also comes to products andservices right because like i never approach a product or a service with a question or asking forsomething i never ask for something i observe onto it and i leave it where i found it or i use itforever. Like, yeah, I want Titanfall to exist. I want there to be a Titanfall three. We all know a
01:05:16good movement shooter. Well, unlike Halo, there's, I think there's a lot of place. There's space togrow with Titanfall. Yeah. In admittedly, I'm not the only person to express this opinion. Obviouslyfucking not. We need a Titanfall three. Everyone knows we need a Titanfall three. Movement shooters aren'tdead yet, and they'll come back again even if they are. So like, it's not that crazy of a concept.my issue is thatwhenever thisdog shitCorpo bullshit rat water
01:05:44dog water shit comes outI don't know why I keep saying waterbut like it comes outand it just comes outinto the ground and shit like thatpeople don't like itit should be reflected in salesthe issue is that like whenever you have
01:05:56things like game pass and subscriptionservices andyou play or whatever fucking weirdproprietary platform they've invented rightwhatever you have these services that make gameshear me outthey make games more accessiblebut I feel like
01:06:11by making them more accessibleit allows companiesto continue making dog waterhow does it make them more accessiblebecause more people can play themfor like GamePass or through UPlayor like whatever the EA one isI thought you play was just like
01:06:26Ubisoft's bullshitokay you're talking about the subscriptionsubscription services okay I think it's like you playthis is where I sound like a fucking like idiotthough it's the fact that like yeahI'm a big fan of accessibility. I love GamePass. I think it is a good product. I think they're doingstandard oil shit at the moment. That's the thing about it though, is that we both agree that we're currently inthe midst of a hyper monopoly in the gaming market. Well, I wouldn't say, they're too incompetent
01:06:51to be a monopoly. They could have been. That's what a monopoly is. It's so funny. They have enoughmoney. They're government contractors. You're giving them too much respect. That's what I'm saying. You'regiving them too much respect. Monoplies act like monopolies. They do stupid shit. They use dumb things. Theyhave no prerogative. They have no reason, no incentive to do better. Microsoft acts like theyalready won the gaming industry and yet they've been losing it the entire time. I don't thinkthe Xbox brand has ever been profit. But what is winning? Making money? Is it consolidation? Is it makinga profit is Microsoft's long-term goal, which they cannot achieve? Like I understand that likeconsole, the console game is like fucking hard. And there's a reason that they constantly, uh, everyone's
01:07:34constantly failing to capturemarket share. But like Sonyis the definition of do nothing and win.It's so funny to me.And II, you know, I tried to play the oblivion remasteragain because I didn'treturn it fast enough. Like I got two hours
01:07:50in. Yeah. I'm genuinely shockedat how shitty that game performsand how bad it looks too.Like, I launch oblivion and Iwalk and I turnand it's just a slideshow.It's, and I understandpart of that is epic
01:08:05their bullshit Unreal Enginewhich for some reasonjust runs like ass on PCThat is why I quitOh they switched Halo to Unreal EngineDid you know about that?Yeah because MicrosoftOverrelied on contractors
01:08:16So there was no likepermanent institutional knowledgeAt 343Because they got the Halo engineFrom BungeeLike it's part of the dealAnd so basicallyYou ended up in this situation
01:08:26And this is allI'm going off what I've readObviously I don't know shitAbout this actualLike I'm not an expertOn this shitI don't know nothing aboutYou show me a number
01:08:33I have a panic attackBut the idea goesThat due to like they basically end up with an engineThat no one who actually works thereLike knows how to use itYeahOr how to troubleshoot problemsIt's the machine in the back of the shop
01:08:44That everyone needs but no one knows how to fixYeahSo like it seems to me that with their founding of Halo StudiosThey've learned exactly zero lessonsOr they've learned a lessonThe lesson they learned isIf we're gonna be awful ghoulsWe gotta be smarter awful ghouls
01:08:59Well didn't you yourself say thatAnother issue is they're brain draining themselvesLike, people are leaving Microsoft actively as this is happening.Even, let's say theoretically, there's someone out there that can make Halo 3, 2.And it wouldn't be bad, which is absurd.That's like saying, well, how don't someone make Return of the King to?You know what I mean?Like, let's continue this epic.
01:09:20Did you know they're making a fucking Gallum movie?No, no, no, no, no, no, no, look it up right now.No, I, I talk about it in the script.I need to see it.I just need to see this.I need, I need, I need this.front of me. But yeah, I was reading comments.Like, there was a short about it. I'm afraid this may be
01:09:37the last time we see Sir Ian McKellen asGandalf. So I hope, I trulyhope they take the time and make this one special.Okay, oh, no, no, no, first off, are they bots?Is the internet dead? This is a bot. This has to be a bot.This is a bot or this is someone who is,no, no, I refuse to believe. Superfan O2 is a bot.Look them up. You can find them. You can literally pull their
01:09:57face up. Here, let's actually, I willinsert this into the podcast. Bad newsfor Lord of the Rings fans, or maybegood news depending on how you see it the hand for gollum the new lord of the rings film has beendelayed by a full year and the circus who's both directing and reprising his role as gollumrecently confirmed that the film will now release in december 2027 instead of 2026 the reasonwhile the script is still in early development you know why the script is still in early developmentwhat the fuck do you do this is based on uh Tolkien is the most long-winded motherfucker on earth
01:10:30I'm about to finally finish all the Lord of the Rings books.And this is, all of this is based on, from what I can gather, this.And my search for Gallum would have been in vain, but for the help that I had from a friend, Aragorn, the greatest traveler and huntsmen of this age of the world.Together we sought for Gallum, down the whole length of wilderness, without hope and without success.But at last, when I've given up the chase and turned to other paths,Gallum was found.My friend returned out of great perils, bringing the miserable creature with him.So that's the story that they're going to try to turn into a feature-length film.
01:10:59That's what they're going to dump millions of dollars into.So Amazon, I'm going to try to teach you something that Microsoft still has yet to learn.People are not, people don't like the Lord of the Rings because of the trademark and the copyright that you spent millions of dollars on.They like a story, a story that was written by J.R. Tolkien for his children.They don't give a fuck about any of it.Like, I love Ghalham as a character.I'm a fucking former addict, man.You can imagine how much, like, meaning I find in Gollum as a character.
01:11:33And, yeah, let's read these comments.I'd rather than take an eternity.I'm so fucking mad.I'd rather them take an eternity to make a brilliant film than a day to make a rushed one.Open up that fucking reply bar.I still can't believe it out of all the things to make a movie about.You make a movie about this?Like, what?
01:11:51What about the war in the north?What about Aragorn's rule after return?Okay, this motherfucker's actually asking for Return of the King, too.but the fall of honorKhaza doom the elf kinslangthe lands in the east of middle earththe blue wizards like come onLike granted
01:12:07No those are all betterBut like don't do any of itYeah but all those thingsWe haveWe have it's a classic ofThere is a page on WikipediaCalled Tolkien's proseAnd it's just the academic conversation
01:12:19Surrounding Tolkien's proseAnd it which it absolutely deservesAnd itAnd nowGollum video game.Amazon treats it like it's McDonald's.Oh, yeah, it feels like it.Like it's Transformers.
01:12:30You know, I can talk about it now.I can talk about it.Okay, so like, I briefly went over this with you earlier, but again, I wish that I couldmake an edit of a television show and release it for free somewhere so that I could show peoplea better product because I have a unique way of watching the Rings of Power.I like rings of power.I'm a big fan.I'm a big fan, but I like to watch it my way.
01:12:50I watched the entire first episode, whole thing.Got to get to know the characters, right?They set it all up for you.And then, you.You skip every single scene that doesn't have Galadrio, Calabrimmore, or Hellbrand.You skip every scene that doesn't have one of those three characters.It is a good show.It's three hours, two seasons, enjoy it.
01:13:09That's all you have to do.Skip every single scene, except for that.Galadriel is genuinely one of my favorite characters because the way she's introduced.You all like her.Particularly in the book.No, that's what I'm saying.It's the mystery of her.What are her, is she just going to take this ring?
01:13:24And, like, you know, like you don't know.And she's very intimidating and mysterious, beautiful, and terrible.And I don't want to see her do sword backflips.It's like Yoda.Like, I don't want to see Yoda do his.It's like that bit where George Lucas and behind the scenes said,and now we're finally going to get to see him whip out his little laser sword and go to town.Like, I don't want to see that.
01:13:47That's not who Yoda is supposed to be.He's supposed to be this mysterious, like, powerful, understated,character. Well, Gladiol now is a...I don't want to hear an excuse.No, no, no. I won't hear it. I have no excuse to say. After this one, they could make a nine-hourtrilogy on the short stay at Tom Bombadil's cottage in the woods. I did that. I want a TomBombadil origin. 25 minutes? Perfect. But Jim and Lee, like, it's the show, it just,it misses so hard. It misses so hard in a way I could not describe through words. Like,
01:14:22it is a train crashing in slow motion because it was made to satisfy the demands of investorsyeah totally it was made for a return on investment to clarify that is he just sat down and hewrote a story to clarify that's every project either it's just that this one was create no that's notevery project ever wait wait wait hold up that is every project ever because if he didn'tpublish it if he didn't want to make money like if he just wanted to get it out there to make moneywhat he wrote it it was amassive risk. Fantasy for adults was a non-existent genre. He made an entire genre. He did. I'm notdenying his creditations. In Halo, too, it's people get attached to these things that fundamentally
01:15:05are risks. And then once they stop being risks, then they become these quote-unquote sure things.And investors dump cash into them. By the time investors realize the actual value, they neverrealize the actual value. They just see the numbers go up. And by the time they're dumping money into it,Like, it's gone.The story is usually already told and finished.See, that's my thing.Is that, like, you make these things to make money.And the issue is, is that whenever you have the thing that gave you money in the first place creating it, it's just a cycle of bullshit.
01:15:35It's an echo chamber of just bullshit over and over and over.You find artists who make good things who want to make money and you buy their thing and you listen to them.Until inevitably you get fired and someone else doesn't listen to them anymore.As I'm going to say in the video, like, art is a bad investment.It's got to be the worst one on Earth.So they try to find these sure things,but the sure things are the exact last thing that deserve money.And I'm not, like, it'd be one thing if this was working, right?
01:16:01Like if Microsoft was, they don't make money.The ghouls are quite simply wrong.So it's...Well, there's one thing I have against this, right?This is the only thing I disagree with this, right?Is, yeah, they're not making money.I'm playing a lot of games with a lot of different people for an incredibly low price.I feel like, yeah, we're currently in a gaming monopoly,
01:16:18but as an Xbox player with GamePass,I'm having a fucking ball, dude.I mean, like, games have never been more accessible than right now.And I don't know what that will look like in the futurebecause I don't know if I want to pay $80 to playevery single title that I actually want to play.And I play a lot of indie.Most of the shit I play is under $20 or $30, right?
01:16:38Like, but even then, like, we're living in a good time to be a gamerunless you're a Nintendo player, but I don't really care what you have to say.So, like, that's okay.Well, Nintendo games are good.Yeah, they're good.Nintendo gamers, I don't care what they say.The games are good.I don't care what they have to say.
01:16:53Like, it's a good game.They're good games.I think all Earthbound fans should be put into a camp.And frankly, I'm not sure if Nintendo disagrees with me.What's Earthbound?Basically, a fan base for these classic Nintendo titles.Only one of them, it was the mother games.And only one of them, which was called Earthbound, was translated and put in English.
01:17:13And I think it was put on the S&ES.And basically, it's like, very cult following.and for Nintendo, they're sort of in that EA positionwhere you got these properties that just print cash.So why are you going to dump money into, say, Metroid,which sure is profitable, but it's not that, you know.But, you know, Earthbound doesn't even compare to that shit.But basically, it's like, I just joke that Nintendo hates Earthbound fans
01:17:42and they're going to put them into a campand get rid of them once and for all.Like they possess a borderline racist genocide.hatred. Of course, the reality isthey just don't like. I think they went after onetranslation project maybe.I'm not sure. I mean, they go after tournamentowners too. Like, Tos have to deal
01:17:58with Nintendo all the fucking time, so that's not crazy.Yeah, I'm not hating on you if you're a Nintendofan. I just want to say that.This is an actual human in the comment sectionof the Gallum movie.I'd rather they just stop trying to make newfilms. It is already over. Pippinalready sang the last goodbye.
01:18:16Like, this is an old format.that's one thing that genuinelywas really cool about Halo was thosecustom game modes and the way we gotlike Griffball, like there are actual game modesin the game now. I know, likeit's, uh, ohlet's stop the podcast before this
01:18:32cat, fine, also I really got to get going.Yeah, you gotta get going with cat's tip on. Thanks for stopping byeveryone. I just got to say, I thinkthis one went a lot better than the last one. I don't know why.But yeah, we're, I got it edited.We're going to get it.I'm going to get it. Yehaw gaming. TellTell your friends. This is episode
01:18:4817 signing up.No, this is our eighthattend. Well, whatever. Adios, guys.Later.Like and subscribe.
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