The Yeehaw Gaming Podcast - Episode 100 | The Yeehaw Gaming Podcast

Episode Date: August 31, 2025

Welcome to the inaugural episode of the Yeehaw Gaming podcast.The boys discuss DnD themed racism, Wolf tries to understand art, and DJPC believes he's a crab in a bucket.Episodes once a week on Fridays.Like and Subscribe.

Wolf's girlfriend is very I'm not trying to put her down when I say this No, militantly progressive You can say that She's very easy to talk to So, you know, but she didn't know That the KKK that they called them wizards and shit Oh, that's right

That's their ranks, double secret master super secret wizard Some of the things I think someone's a dragon, hold on The Grand Wizard dragon Of Knoxville, I don't know And I think it's just Titles and vocabulary. This is a great Wikipedia page.

Merch-provoking. Merth-provoking? I cannot think of an organization that promotes less mirth than the KKK. Oh, look at that. Grand Dragon. Later, okay. So I guess it was Grand Dragon at first.

And then they realized Grand Dragon is silly. So we're going to do Grand Wizard instead. Back it up. Back it up again. We demand to be taken seriously in our ghost costumes. It's the Imperial Wizard. That's the top one. Realms.

Oh, my God, it's D&D for racist. This is an incredible... Dominion, realms, dragons, scribes. This is from Wikipedia Empire. Constituting the whole area of the clan's activities. This was led by the Imperial Wizard and his staff of 10 Genie, as well as a grand shubladen and grand scribe, whose duty was to keep lists of...

What is it a scribe's job? You just shows up to a meeting? All right, do we still not like black people? All right, I'll write it down. still don't care for these fellas. How do we think about Italians? Not yet. Not yet.

Yeah, in 2006, they were on the march and they were like, what do we think about these Catholics? We're okay with them now? All right. Catholics put a little check. Squires, Grand Dragon, Grand Titan, Furies, Grand Jive. Nighthawk, the Nighthawk. The Nighthawk.

The Grand Cyclops. Dude, this is just fucking... This is awesome. Let's join the KKKKK. Oh, God. I take it back. These are incredible names. Jesus Christ.

This is interesting, man. The Grand Council of Centares. Vice Grand Cyclops. Supreme Cyclopean Council. What an invisible empire. What a sinister term? What the fuck is that? The Convokian?

The Great Titans. The Exalted Cyclops and the Subordinate officers were known as the Twelve Terrors. Look at that. The Great Titan and the Seven Furies is the name. Dude, what's all this weird Greek shit? They got it from. Caliph?

Yeah, this is Islamic. Why would they call them, they called their vice president Caliph. Clawcard is lecturer. This has like latter 18th century, like, mysticism bullshit. I'm going to say actually, so apparently Nighthawks is what they called their couriers. That's sort of an awesome name. I will stand by that one and unironically say that Nighthawk is a cool name for a courier, particularly for a clandestine kind of organization.

Well, coming from, clandestine, but still, coming from the clan, And you would think that, wait, scroll up real quick, you would think that if you were going to go for like a name, like you got the, okay, I'm not making these up, the Cleegrap, the clobby, the clad, the Clorogo, the Klexter, and then, Nighthawk. There's thinking the black speech from Lord of the Rings. That's what fascinates me about the Nazis do.

We talked about this. Like the intentional, yeah, we're evil and cool. We got skulls on our uniforms. Yeah. So there is certainly an appeal. Someone at some point, probably in the post-apocalypse, will style themselves the Dark Lord Sauron. Let's draw everyone's attention to my second favorite Wikipedia page,

list of Jews in sports. Wolf, I don't know if you know that a Jewish cabal has been controlling the sport. These Jewish super athletes, the famously athletic Jews have... Sid Luckman, I mean, all pro MVP, football Hall of Fame. I'm reading off the things that he did. No, I'm not... I don't know any of these people. You see, this is why I'm not anti-Semitic. one of these guys off this page are going to come to my house and beat the shit out of me.

Benny Friedman, U.S. quarterback and halfback, four times all pro. Let's see how big he is. He looks like he was 1950. He was 5'10 and 183 pounds. I could kick his ass. Dude, he was huge back then, though. Like, he probably had no abs. He had a flat chest.

That's actually why black people weren't allowed in sports. The Jews knew they'd get completely pushed out. They barely were in there in the first place. Oh, God. I only, like, I don't really, I don't really know anything about, like, negative aspects of Jewish culture, right? So, like, the only one... I only be clear that my anti-Semitism is fundamentally.

I think they're all just George Costanza or Adam Friedland in my head. It's a very light, non... It is a non-violent anti-Semitism. I simply think they're always complaining about the service they get at restaurants in a generally whiny voice. However, you can see right here that that is an incorrect stereotype because André... Andre, they need to... Hold on. If this guy's half black, he...

Oh, no, no, he is dark as nice. dark as shit. How is this man black? Or excuse me, how is this man Jewish? Andre Tippett makes the best barbecue sauce this side of the Mississippi. And he could beat my ass. He was six foot three. I played for the Patriots for 11 years. What was he?

Oh, he's a defense. All pro, very accomplished on the Patriots. Okay, I'm looking up Jewish now. There's no way. He was inducted into the National Jewish Sports Hall of Fame, which apparently exists. So apparently, okay, you heard it here

first, you can be black and Jewish apparently. I did not know this. This is a hometown bit. We don't need Nick Mullen. We have the page of list of Jews in sports on Wikipedia. We're just going to read one off every time we start this. Honestly, this should be the podcast is us clicking through Wikipedia and riffing. This is not the worst concept. Yeah. It's really not, but we just have to find better Wikipedia pages. I don't see what could possibly be better than the list of Jews and sports. Oh, this one's from South Africa. He's hit in every quadrant. KKK Jew in sports.

Look up the photo. Well, apparently, this is probably a good time to bring up back when I was trying the California sober thing, which thankfully I've dropped because that was awful. The anxiety. But I went to a head shop and they, the guy there, it was ran by an Indian gentleman. And my second time meeting him, second time meeting him. And we had had pretty typical, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm not rude, but if I'm in a store and the person that owns.

the store, the person behind the register is talking to me. I'm not going to be indulging the conversation a lot. So I don't know where he thought he could finally say he was driving some equipment that he'd purchased from a wholesaler, and he said that Homeboys, was the phrase he used, were following him in a car, but that nothing happened. So I'd like to be clear, he hit me with a hard R.

So I didn't go back. So a guy... Which is just wholly unnecessary. It was my second time there. I just put off a racist vibe. I know I do. I get that too again online. They see me and they're like, this motherfucker's a dragon.

He didn't get robbed. They weren't trailing him. He didn't lose them. Young black men were just in a car behind him, and then they turned a different direction. And that is literally all that occurred from the story as he told it to me. And he thought that was all he needed to go hard R.

He's like, that's enough. In the years in tackle shops, man. And let me tell you, you can always tell when there's a racist at a tackle shop. Because they're in a tackle shop. We're going to read this passage. Read that passage. I'm going to feel this hunk of plastic. I hope you can all be a fucking adult about it.

Like, I'm going to make a video about Herman Lehman, this German boy that got kidnapped by the Apache. And I hope we can all be adults about this people. You know, like it's, you got to wonder sometimes, can people on the internet be trusted? with the truth, the complexities of it? Because the answer is no, they're just going to go on X the Everything app, and be like, yeah, and that's why we had to do it to them. The Comanches and Tonkhas had been at war a long time, and the Tonkwas had been nearly exterminated.

The hatred that Tonkua had for the Comanche was fierce, for they planned the command, blame the Comanche, for all of their misfortunes and eventually made a treaty with the white people, and combined with them, to exterminate the Comanche, acting as scouts and trailers and warriors for the whites. When we found those Tonkahuas in camp, our chief gave a war whoop, and we all joined in one continual yell as we charged that camp. They fled at the onslaught, and several of them were killed.

We took possession of the camp, and what do you suppose we found on the fire roasting? Set up and punchline. That's genuinely the tone of it. One of the legs of a Comanche, a warrior of our tribe. How did you identify whose leg it was? I don't believe that. I'm a little curious. However, the Tonkua did eat people. Our chief gave the cry for vengeance, and we all joined in the chorus. We immediately gave Chase. No martial music fascinated our little band,

and urged us to victory, but one look at those stern faces and drawn muscles would have shown that they meant to utterly annihilate their enemy. One of the leg was like really jacked there, and like, that could only be us. There's no one else who's got legs like that. That's John. A great many of the dying enemy, this is after they beat the Tonkua. A great many of the dying enemy were gasping for water, but we heeded not their pleadings. We scalped them, amputated their arms, cut off their legs, cut out their tongues,

and threw their mangled bodies and limbs upon their own campfire, put on more brushwood and piled the living, dying, and dead tonquas on the fire. Some of them were able to flinch and work as a worm, and some were able to speak and plead for mercy. We piled them up, put on more wood, and danced around in great glee as we saw the grease and blood run from their bodies, and we're delighted to see them swell up and hear the hide pop as it would burst in the fire. But, uh, yeah.

So that's like the thing is, like, you want to tell, the problem is like 14 year olds with no understanding of the reality of conflict will like come onto the YouTube video and be like yeah that's why we had to do it to them as though I have not read equally horribly haunting shit Sand Creek massacre Wounded Knee Massacre

The Camp Grant Massacre Just um How do you deal with it? So I what we're talking about It was just total war And uh total war is total war but like it really is just disturbing I guess

whenever I'll try to write because there's like when I think about my dad right he's too stupid to be empathetic I think he genuinely lacks the intelligence the honesty necessary like we all lie to ourselves but like it's he genuinely

will never be able to atone for what he's done because he just he can't he doesn't understand he can't put himself in the shoes of other people he's not smart enough So whenever I get these 14-year-olds coming into my... Like, am I trapped here with the stupid and cruel, is the question? But it's also...

Like, I tell myself they're 14, because if they're not 14, then I'm, you know, I'm trapped with the stupid and cruel. 14-year-olds grow, and they'll learn. Yeah. Not if it's a grown man. I don't think I just fundamentally disagree. I don't really think that anyone's incapable of learning. No, some people are too stupid.

You haven't heard... This is actually... Okay. I've been around a lot of stupid people. This is like a, all right, this is a 4chan thing, but it's funny. There's this one famous, like, clip, and it's like this young man, a judge, and the judge is like, he assaulted someone on the subway platform, and the judge is like, how would you feel if someone attacked you while you were just waiting for the subway?

And he's like, but no one did. And she's like, yeah, but what if they did? And he's like, no one attacked me on the subway. Like he can't get it It's that is that meme thing How would you feel if you didn't have breakfast today But I did have breakfast today Like you're literally

Well there are people that are not smart enough to understand I understand that Just that in this scenario It sounds like a fool in front of a judge And a court Who doesn't want to say more than he needs to But I do think there's no he's not finessing anyone He doesn't understand

That's how a court works There are people that I think genuinely lack A fully developed theory of mind like they don't you know how like a gorilla never asks a question it's like that shit like the gorilla can't understand that you know things that the gorilla doesn't know they're unchallenged you know and whenever you decline challenge over and over and over and over again i watched her challenge him over and over and he's like no one attacked me on the dams up so stupid but it's haunting you know it's like i think back to like the people that fucked me up as a kid and it's like i don't think

they get it i don't think i could i think i could sit them down and force them i i'm 99% sure my dad watched that video and he's right now sitting in his house like man i don't know who talked him into hating me i'm not joking like that's what these people are often like they just they don't get it like i can completely like there's so many people that must hate me that i've never said a word to because of you know my vibe yeah of my incredibly unpleasant vibe your vibe isn't fine it's just that um i don't know i feel like when it comes to like i don't know like social circumstance and expectation and all that shit. You tend to do a bit of the, what's the word for it?

You tend to like to skip through it, which is fine. I'm just a cold person. Yeah, what people interpret it as cold the same way someone who with a low emotional quotient would be interpreted as an idiot. Like it's the same way, you know, like I feel like anyone truly broken down to their core can be forced to learn, but we're not masters, we're not slavers here.

So people, you know, what do you do? Do you let them do what they do? form a nautocracy? What do you want to do? I don't know man. I just think they're all fools. But like, I don't think anyone's above approach. Well, that's my point is we're trapped here with them. I don't know. I think it's trapped. Let's talk about some. What

what is the solution? The final. I'm fortunate phrasing, but we'll put you into death camp if you can't rotate an apple in your head. That's another stupid fucking mean thing. Apple on your head? That's, yeah, it's the idea. Can you rotate an apple in your head?

Like right now, As I speak, I'm flipping the apple up and down, and now I'm taking a bite out of it. Now I'm smiling into the camera. A real wicked grin. You know what I'm talking about? Not at all. What the fuck are you talking about? Apparently there are people that cannot visualize.

They don't have a mind's eye. And the meme goes that they're NPCs. And I found, I remember when that was the NPC thing was first described to me, it was when I was off 4chan. And there's this motherfucker in my tech school class in the Air Force. and he was a staff sergeant. He, very pole, motherfucker. He, um... So, a poll, it's the political board on a four-hand.

Which is the definitely higher echelon school measure type. Someone with all like the balls of countries making fun of each other? Oh, Poland ball. I don't know if that started there, but that, yeah, that was a thing on there. But pole has a reputation. Tell me about it. Well, it's just Nazi shit. No, it's just, that's the reputation.

It's just, you know. Like, I used to go on Hiss all the time, and you'll find the skull measures on there. And I just trolled them. That's where they go, you know? But, yeah, no, I remember. So at one point, I said something in that class in tech school. So it's the Air Force. It's mostly guys fresh out of basic training like me and a few older guys that, like,

were on their second list. Like, they changed their careers or whatever. And I said something. And I cannot remember what. It was something about Jewish religious practices. And the guy in front of me, he asked, oh, are you kosher? And I was like, what? He was asking if I was Jewish.

And I guess that's the way he, I don't know. It became an inside joke in the class that my nickname became kosher, which is stupid as shit. That's so awesome. I love that. It's not the worst nickname, but I don't know. And he, the poll guy, I don't think he understood any of that. And he asked, are you really Jewish? And I was like, no.

And he gave me this weird look and he talked about the poisoning, the well shit from like the Middle Ages. He was dead serious. What is poisoning the well? That the Jews would poison the wells And that's how the black plague got started. Like I don't know He was a very intense and small person I don't know

But it was interesting Being subjected to anti-Semitism And feeling Like how dare you insult My Jewish heritage You sick, fuck It's kind of funny though Like no it was funny

It's just bizarre in retrospect That now I know what it feels like to be discriminated against for my Jewish faith. I mean, like, just to get into that weirdness. I mean, we have a friend who works at a head shop, and every now and then some neo-Nazis will come in, but whenever they turn them away, because we have a good friend, we'll say it like that,

he'll usually say, fuck off, you know, or maybe give them like a... Oh, yeah, a straight-up Nazi, or the swastika face. Yeah, swastika face, the chest, all that, the weird little... What's the... there's a number that they like. I don't know what it is. It doesn't matter.

Anyway, it's like they're all fucked up. But like, um, they'll come back like a week later with bandages, covering up the swastikas and the numbers and the, the lightning bolts and all that shit. And it's like,

you're so much of a fucking piece of shit. Even like, this is the life you chose for yourself and you're a coward and it as well. Like this is a lot horrible, man. I try not to, who fucking knows. He probably can't rotate an apple in his head wolf.

It's over. I don't think you. Okay. I'll admit. Maybe there are stupid people. You know, you brought me back. So there's this bit in the nightmare essay that YouTube, please go to my Patreon and view the video for free.

It's genuinely the best writing I've ever done, and YouTube was like, get that shit out of here. I took an anti-diddling perspective in the video. I'm sorry I got political. YouTube obviously tries to not take sides in the whole diddling debate. What were we talking about? It's just a crazy fence to sit on.

That's all you need to say. No, that's the joke. No, it wasn't. That wasn't the problem. The problem was I included footage from a bullfight in Spain. Yeah, you went with a bullfight. They're literally, it's a cheering crowd, and I'm sure there are children watching it. So I don't know why the fuck YouTube thinks it's not okay to put on there.

It wasn't like I... We do that. Yeah. Like, it was a video that I pulled from YouTube, and granted, I decontextualized it because PETA posted it, and I was like, I do not want a conversation about fucking PETA on this video. I just don't need to hear it. That would be so much fun just to... spend like an hour just reading through the history of contrivance that is pita like like there's

like i'm an animal guy i'm an ecologist kind of guy right i do not fuck with pita man it's too much it's too much it's exactly it's all marketing i was trying to talk about my childhood of abuse and i was comparing my experience to a cow and you know industrial farming and how it doesn't understand why it's suffering or what it's suffering in service to and i did not want to stop the video to have a conversation about PETA or get a bunch of comments about PETA's bad actually like yeah I know whatever yeah you know what's I don't the entire

nation of Spain has once again wronged me the entire nation of Spain and its history was made specifically to bother me Wolf I don't know if you know that I don't care for the Spanish Empire and the Spanish nationalists which inexplicably exist as though their nation is not a massive embarrassment

like imagine doing the whole European harvesting the world for cash thing. But you don't even get to like be on top at the end of that. Like you're still just a third world nation with pretty... Fucking bull fights. I still can't believe that.

Are you going to get like a bunch of Barcelona's pissed at you after this comes out? Like is that what's going to happen? You're going to get a bunch of Spanish people. Yeah, they're going to be like, they're going to act like we don't know anything because we don't know the name of their micro nation that wants independence. As though anyone in our, in the Anglo sphere needs to think about Spain. We've harnessed the

power of the sun to vanquish our foes and they're over there taking afternoon naps and killing cows in public with a cheering crowd as though they aren't barbarians the Romans had it right whenever they wrote about the ones that lived in the fucking mountains those fucking Celts up there

I'll be honest the ones that I believe turned into the past I have very little to say of the Spanish because I just have so little investment but I don't know one fun fact about them I measured their skulls and they don't deserve it they do deserve that excuse me they banned the use of, if you're a fisherman, the way that you get your line to sink is you put lead on it. In America, you put lead on it or steel.

But in Spain, they banned the use of steel and lead to be thrown in waters. So instead of using that, they literally take rubber bands and rocks. Tie it to a line, and that's how they use that as a sinker. I just find that to be an interesting fact. They find a rock on the side of the ground. Tie a rubber band to it, tie it to your line, and cast it. They're backwards people. I just don't care for them.

And if they continue to come into my videos and say the phrase black legend, as if that is an argument in and of itself. What is that? We've talked about this. The fucking Dutch and the English would, indeed, they would slander the Spanish Empire. However, that's number one, as though Spain didn't do the same thing to the Inca and the Aztec. Like, it's every empire that has ever existed, is nefarious as fuck.

Yeah. And they are predicated upon their subjects not deserving, you know, the very rights that we now in modern times hold to be sacred and this and that. But there were people within the Spanish empire that were like, hey, nefarious shit's being done. Like, I take issue with the conquistadors and the general, the way they treated the Native Americans as a fucking Christian. So it pisses me off whenever they're like, well, we brought. them Christianity. The story of Christ's sacrifice is inherently compelling, the idea of God

bleeding for you. Like, there's a reason that it spread. You didn't have to make anyone do anything. You know, and it's just absurd. The idea that you had to... Listen, Wolf, if we didn't force them into the black minds of Potosi, where they could toil for generations, then they would never have come to Christ. You got to just beat the shit out of them.

Over and over. so that they really just want to come to God. I think I found a difference between you and I. Whenever you want to watch something or listen to something that makes you feel good or nice or exploratory, right? I've noticed that you tend to go toward more optimistic, more fantastic pieces of media, right?

Even like sci-fi and all that. But what I've realized, that whenever I'm in a happy place, I feel good, I've had lunch, the sun is shining. It feels good. I want to watch gritty, awful war movies from any decade. So, like, have you seen All Quiet on the Western Front? No, he keeps trying to get me to watch it. See, that's the problem is that we're at different links, right?

It's like, whatever. Well, no, it's because I read, like, I'm going to talk about this. Like, I, in high school, you remember, that was all I liked was this dark gritty shit. But, like, now I read these actual history books. And when I want ambiguity or just shocking violence or these explorations of, like, man's darker side, I get it from history books and I don't want it from fiction at this point I get it from my dusty books about naval battles

I see I don't like it for the realistic aspect of it I like it for the fantastic realist fantastic aspect of it feels so distance because I've never gotten trench foot in 1910 or whatever it is like there's something about it I'm excited actually I forgot to ask so now I'm in a history class and I and I'm not trying to I get it

You started college yeah I started college I started two days again I started college a week ago, or just about, and it's funny, my history professor, I was just about vibrating out of my skin, because I get it. Like, they're kids. Like, these are fucking kids that are fresh out of high school, and they don't know, and I didn't know at the time either. But it's like, you know, he said, history isn't just what happened in the past. It's an argument. And I was just about, like, shaking out of my skin.

Like, I was like, and he was going through all this shit so slowly. It doesn't, you know, I get it. But I can tell I'm going to be a little mad in that. class. Where was I going with this? You get to open up arguments later on though. You go to the office hours and say, here's why you're wrong, and then you listen. Well, I don't know if he was trying to get us to say this.

He showed this wood etching from a European depicting some native group. I can't even remember their name. They were from Florida. And he was like, what can you tell about this group from this etching? And what I wanted to say is nothing. Like, I was just looking at it and I was like, no Indians looked like this. Like, the depiction was very Garden of Eden coded. I don't know how to put it.

Well, no, they were toiling. It looked like a biblical wood carving. No, no, it's, there was a very much, there was two different ways of thinking about and depicting Native Americans in Europe at that time. And it was like, they're these pure untouched people, not sullied by, you know, civilization or whatever. And then there was the other school, which is these are savage freaks that we need to fix. you know and it was you can tell which they thought you know it fundamentally was it was a man that clearly never met or saw them and he was just going off of what he read and i you know that's it's useless you can tell what he thought about native americans you can't tell anything about

native americans just from that you know yeah i i think that might have been what he was trying to bait out of us maybe i should have said it but i am very cautious about going full teacher's pet right now. Well, it's just that, like, academia is at its core about arguments, right? I mean, like, you can sit here and we can actually craft a theorem and make a dissertation and prove it or not prove it or try to attempt to lack of proving it. Like, you can do that now. You will have the ability to do that from this point forward. You can contribute to things. You've probably already been cited at least once. You have the ability to do that now. It's real. So it is now an argument. You have to convince people.

Once again, I'm vibrating out of my skin. I'm down the road on this shit, Wolf. I know how it works. I know. Yeah, but you don't have pedigree. Yeah, no, I understand. Well, that's why I'm there. I'm not mad about it.

It's just, I can tell it's going to be a problem. The second that I can, I got this trick. I'm really excited to pull out. I'm not sure if I'll have a chance, but I really want to say, like, I'm setting the scene and I pull out the temperature and the weather. I'm going to find the weather recorded

at the nearest possible location. But the thing is, I'm not sure if I could pull that from, this is early American history. So I'm not sure if I'll be able to find that information. Would it be in the almanac? Well, the almanac is supposed to predict the future or whatever the fuck. It's not supposed to, you know, I would want something a little more solid and actionable.

He talked about, you remember James Mooney? He's a guy that wrote the ghost dance book that I've been reading. He mentioned him. And I, once again, I was like, but fuck i don't know we'll get there we'll get there for now i think it should go to be a t honestly uh yeah no absolutely eventually well the problem is right now i'm still not sure how much of my time this is going to eat up um i'm excited i'm enjoying it so far i can tell the one class that i'm going to have an ass grade in it's like the this is how you do university

class you know what i mean um i'm i was hoping it would show you So, I don't know, thus far, it's like they made me form into a group, and I'm the only, in most of the classes, obviously, I'm clearly the oldest guy there, which is fine. But in that one, I genuinely feel like I should be babysitting them, and it's awful. You get over it quick, do you? Trust me. No, I'm sure I will. It's just the way it is, you know. For some reason, this girl approached me as I was, like, walking to class, and she was like, hi, do you work here?

And I said something super mean for no reason. I was like, oh, do I look that old? No, I don't. But then it's like, there are a million 28-year-olds that must work there. It was a perfectly fair question she asked. And I made her feel bad for no reason. I feel awful about that. Oh, don't worry about it.

It's mostly just because people are, she was probably asking, like, hey, where do I go? She was probably asking me. Yeah, no. She, and there was no reason whatsoever. There was nothing wrong with assuming that I work there. I am the appropriate age to be working there. You probably, I just made her feel bad. You were probably dressed more accordingly as well.

No, I was wearing my little slutty twink shawl. actually. Nice. Nice. But it's so, I swear my, so naturally, as viewers that saw my nightmare Patreon video can attest to, I got a lot of awful things

from my fucking childhood and I inherited some awful things from my parents. But among those awful things, my mom gave me hyperhydrosis. And I sweat. I'm just sweating all the time. Like a damn pig. Just awful. And I'm literally, I'll be sitting there in class, just pouring sweat. I hate people.

I hate being in their presence. What do you want, Kat? It'll come out over time, man. My hyperhydrosis, no wolf. This is my condition. He's being ablest to my fucking face. I'm talking to a guy who won't walk around and flip-flops because he thinks his feet don't need to be shown.

Just walk around and flip-flops, you know? That's not why I don't walk around and flip-lops. Where what you're wearing right now? I don't walk around in flip-flops because I don't find them comfortable. Oh, I guess that's fair. You assume that all my things are a product of my social anxiety. However, only most of them are, woof. I can't assume if it's your anxiety.

I just assume it's what you chose, you know? No, I assume I harbor some great shame about my feet. See, if you turn off my computer with your adorable little paws, I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Don't pick her up. She hates that. Sorry. Animal abuse.

I'm calling the ASPCA. The problem with Sia, if y'all would like to know more about... You got some caffeine. Yeah, no, you can have Oceli. The problem with Sia, the DJ Peach Cobler channel mascot, is that she's chasing after Wolf like a whore. And also, uh, she... She doesn't like being picked up.

But she will not assert herself. She will simply accept it. And it drives me crazy. And I tell her, Sia, stand up for yourself, but she never will. Your cat is fucking bitch made. Just say that. really is. Just say she's been true. I'm looking at her right now. She looks like a smaller cat wearing a larger cat as a costume. Like, I don't know how to describe it. She's beautiful.

Sia is literally me. She takes after me that you can see in her eyes her for her weakness. That's why I don't make that fucking eye contact. Oh God, so how do you like school so far? How are you like walking around a college campus? No, it's nice. I like it. I can tell I'm really going to enjoy it. I like all my professors there was a land acknowledgement which despite my great fondness for Native American history and my empathy for their continued

struggle against the bullshit my God please support the Apache stronghold their bullshit fight their fight isn't bullshit they're fighting against the bullshit but despite all that I find land acknowledgements their white man touchdown dances

that's what they fucking are like give the LARPing Mexicans is a very funny way to put it. Like Sashi and Little Feather. LARPing Mexicans has been a prolonged issue with Native American right. You know Sashi and Little Feather? Yeah, yeah, we go back. Yeah. Okay, so Sashi and Little Feather, she was his Mexican broad

that dressed like a Native American all the fucking time. Marlon Brando at one point, he refused an Academy Award and she accepted it for him. Have you, you haven't seen that? No. Oh, yeah, well, she accepted it for him. And to be clear, like, the idea of what he was doing was cool, because it was like, you know, this is like the 70s, and he's like, hey, the way you depict Native Americans and movies is fucked up. So it's like she got to go up there and be like, hey, go fuck yourselves.

She posed in Playboy once. She's a good-looking woman. But by all indications, she's just a Mexican chick dressed like a Native American and trying to grift, you know. Like I said, it's just been a thing. But it's also, it's very much a cultural thing. It's not a blood thing to be clear. Like, it was very emphasized in the other slavery by all. Andres or Zendes, like, if you, or Comanche or Apache, and you spend a lot of your time

raiding and kidnapping, screaming Latina women, you just inevitably end up with pretty Mexican people. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, as a result. Which is funny because at one point, Geronimo, he was a, he did this massacre on the San Carlos reservation, which is so funny to read about how little he gave a fuck. He broke into the reservation, did a matter. massacre for the purposes of recruiting more and then left the reservation.

Like, that's the level of shit he could get away with. Like, that's why they didn't let him back in Arizona, and the poor son of a bitch had to die in Oklahoma. But, like, they were genuinely scared of him. And, I mean, it's sort of hard to fault them because, as he said in his autobiography, like, yeah, no, I'd keep fighting Mexicans now if I wasn't 80. Like, that was the only thing stopping him. Time had to defeat Geronimo. Nothing else would. I kind of love that's kind of hard when you say it like that.

No, he was very complicated. In that literal, I'm pulling this from Western Apache rating and warfare, which I highly recommend. It's got some incredible accounts in these little. The Apache would use poisoned arrows, and it turns out they would bury, I forget if it was a deer's liver or their spleen, and it would rot, and then they would use that material, you know, on their arrowheads.

However, they also had this bit. They would say, oh, yeah, you get a pregnant woman to fart on the air. just clearly a joke about how I guess pregnant women's farts smell bad but it came up twice and it just cracks me up it's kind of funny yeah no I love because the Apache

obviously like every Native American group tends to have this like stoic reputation but the Apache were particularly stoic it seems like the Comanche were much more fun like if you had to pick if I had to stand in one place and watch and encroaching force comb I would look real stoic to anyone

watching me. Well, the Apache were just, like I said, they were a product of such a nightmarish fucking place. It's like, you want to, really the impression I get is like the goal was to be the baddest motherfucker in prison. Like, I'm not even joking. Yeah. You just, you couldn't show weakness.

I'm going to talk about Diablo or, you know, of course Diablo was a Spanish exonym, you know, and of course that, the Mexicans, like all. Like, the Mexicans were his enemy. So, you can't take Diablo to actually be representative of his personality, of what he was like. His Apache name, the name the Apache gave him, was, he is constantly angry, which is, I think, actually, a scarier name. It's kind of a good day, though. It's so funny, but in Western Apache rating and warfare, his daughter's testimony is recorded, and it's on one level adorable, because it's like this old woman reminiscing fondly about her father and how much she clearly respected him. But on the other hand, it's terrifying because Diablo is fucking scary.

And there's, I'll talk about it all in the video. But, yeah, this is how I'm going to use the podcast just to tease people. Just tease them. What did he is constantly angry do? I know they're not going to read a book. Or if they are, they better read fucking Geronimo's autobiography. And there's a reason I keep trying to get them to do that because he lies. He very much, to be clear, obviously he's a victim of, uh, what kinds of lies?

Like, what kinds? I can't. You know what I'll say, because this is, like, I've recommended, at this point, I'm dragging my feet on the video so much. Like, fuck it. Geronimo, the massacre that occurred outside Janos, his mother, his wife, three children all scalped at best. It's very possible, and he doesn't consider this in his autobiography, and I think about that a lot. I suspect that he knew this had been going on for a long time, the constant kidnapping of women and children selling them into slavery. I think that he didn't want to consider it.

I think he harbored shame that he didn't, that they, the Apache men there, didn't go after Carosco's militia, which, to be clear, was not feasible at the time. But it's very possible they died laboring in some shadowy part of history that we, you know. But he presents that, the massacre at Janos. And then after that, I forget the name of the battle, but there was a battle outside of Mexican town. And it was Edwin Sweeney, who is this very, very, very. famous Wild West historian, and I can't check his work. So, you know, bear this in mind. But he went and he, like, consulted all these archives in Northern Mexico. He was like, what battle is

Geronimo describing after the massacre at Janos? Like this retribution, and it's a pretty badass fucking battle, and you're rooting for the guy after what happened to him. Edwin-Sweeney could not find a record of any battle similar to that, what Geronimo described, except one that occurred before the massacre at Janos. So the massacre at Janos then, obviously, it's important to note that in the Wild West, women and children were lawful combatants, and you just went for them. Universal fucking state, unfortunately. Like, I've read about every color, every creed, every people, except for, frankly, a few of the Native American groups who just absolutely would do awful, awful things to the women and the children. So I'm not trying to justify the massacre at Janos.

However, it does change the situation profoundly from the wronged Geronimo, who was attacked for no reason, to, you know, it's the women and children were, unfortunately, as always happened here, were caught in the middle of this ongoing conflict. The simple fact, like, I believe Edwin Sweeney, it's the papers called I Had Lost All. It's available on J.S. Torr, highly recommend. But yeah, just in general, Geronimo is a huge victim. but as I talk about my Patreon video I hate that I was essentially creating an origin story for my history shit but like when you get diddled by a 13 year old girl

and you're just in general victimized by victims your whole childhood you develop a very complicated idea of victimhood you can be a victim and at the very least Geronimo there's a vital dimension to him he was a huge dick he was just a dick like I read accounts of him walking up to Apache Chiefs and being like hey give me whiskey you always have whiskey give me whiskey where's the whiskey

Just massive douchey asshole thing. He was just, he was mean. And it feels stupid. He committed these massacres. To be the last Native American is surrendered to the United States government, like you have to be necessarily very different from the rest of them. And that's my fear talking about this, because all these people, 14-year-olds,

that do not understand nuance, who don't understand the complexities of victimhood and violence and conflict, And they're going to come to my videos. And, like, I'm going to tell them, like, that story that I read earlier about the Tonkua and Comanche. And they're going to be like, isn't it nice that us Americans stopped this as though Americans were not perpetuating? Americans literally were a big part of the reason that conflict just happened, what I read, you know, because the Tonkua were. I see a line. And America was totally willing to work with them because they didn't give a fuck.

Well, I see the line now. I can see it. Okay. And I think, unfortunately, you're trapped. See, you had the office. option to go into this just blatantly saying mistruths and telling stories and all of that, like 98% of the other creators in this space. But instead, you burden yourself with truth.

Yeah, the story changes as I learn more. Originally, I was very down. It was just going to be, here's a story about a sad man that got shit on his whole life. It speaks to your quality as a content creator, an artist, and as a person, but it means that it's, you know, like the issues you're having right now, the issues you have talked to me about for the last six months. These are things you'll deal with until you stop making stuff like this, until you start writing fantastic bullshit that people have been listening to for hundreds of years,

or if you burden yourself with more truth. And I think that's a burden that you love it. I know you love it because your eyes light up when you're like, oh, and I found out of this tiny detail that canceled out this other thing. Like, I think that's, I mean, that's fundamentally your struggle. It's going to be yours forever, you know? History should be a complicated thing. And what I bristle against, I, the fact is what I'm describing,

is I resent that I'm writing history for non-historians, which is why I'm going to school and majoring in history. The problem is, like, I was literally sitting in a, that group, or I was put in a group for that class we were talking about. Orientation. The one that, yeah. And five of us, three of them were history majors, and I was talking, and I wasn't, I'm not trying to put them down here.

They're 19, 18-year-olds, right? And they're just like, I just like history. And it's like, oh, you know, you don't. You don't know it. You don't get it. You're shaking them. Get it. Get a control.

I start slapping them and talking about how the Kronkwa ate guys. But you know what? Throw them across the expo boards. That's nothing. Eating a guy sometimes. Like, you're going to be an interesting project partner in the future. I don't know if you'd be a good one, but you'd be an interesting project partner. I'm just currently, I keep focusing on the eating guys.

You're going back to the cannibalism. I want to write a paper. for this professor that I don't know if he knows all this shit about the Caronqua because it's very easy to just because I remember in Andres Rzendez a historian I greatly respect he said the Caronkua most likely didn't do this

then I got like this encyclopedia of native groups and it was like the cronquia most likely once again they used that phrase didn't do this and I hate that shit you know so you just keep looking and you keep digging and then you essentially find testimonies that are impossible to just controvert like the

Jean-Baptiste Toulogne who's French kid and he gave his, this is all in Timothy F. Sider's paper, literally just Google re-examining Gulf Coast cannibalism. And he was just like a student at the time. Incredible fucking paper. Hard-ass truths in that paper. And, you know, it's done empathetically. He's not just like, actually they deserved it.

You wouldn't be exactly respected in academia if he said that. But, you know, he's just like, they didn't live to impress you. Their cultural standards that they had, like they did not exist for you. They came from an entirely different non-European, non-old world background, and you can't really, like, you can't judge the fucking white people at this time by our standards, you know? And it's, you certainly can't judge these people that had no, you know, concept of, uh, all our shit. But John Baptiste Toulon is his French kid. He was kidnapped, or he, he was at this

fort founded by LaSalle, and the Kronkwa attacked, and I believe they completely destroyed the fort, and they took some French kids. And, uh, the Kronkwa, almost universal things. with Native Americans. They treated kids a lot better than white people did at this time in history. Throw them in Chinese and make them work. They put them in a little weighted blanket. They give them the colored blocks. Robert, Robert. They would give them safe spaces. Robert. They have tiny hands, which fit perfectly in tiny gearboxes. Put them to work. That's what I'm saying, man. Just get those little hands in there. Well, I think it's just, I think if you live in a quote unquote civilization, specifically if you need to make them wear 18 layers of clothes

and not think outside the box ever like you have all this like you know I think Europeans had to shape children more than say the Karankawa would need to you know like you don't even got to wear fucking shoes you don't got to deal with that shit you know yeah and uh there's something I wanted to touch base on

because you were talking about like bringing something up to your professor you're starting your college career, I'm about to end mine because I'm going to be done by the same time. Your first semester is over. The one issue, and I know there's people listening to this who would have the same problem, they're going to be like, yeah, fuck, I hate it when that shit happens. You eventually become invested in your academic career.

Eventually, even if you're just there for the degree, eventually you love learning about whatever it is. And the issue with that is you want to ask questions. So you normally think, oh, I'll ask the person. I spent $53 a session to stand here. here and listen to and ask questions, I'll ask them. And it's not an issue of knowledge or where that knowledge is coming from. It's just a communication issue, man.

Like sometimes you try to talk to these professors who are so old and jaded that you have to construct your question in such a way to where they can understand it. And that will be the ultimate issue toward the end, right? That's why all this like academic language exists, right? To like cut through the menagerie of different like ideas. I shouldn't even be using the phrase cannibalism. It's anthropophagy. That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard, but I believe you.

Is it really called that? Yeah, that's just the less loaded term. Sounds like a platformer game from like 2012. But yeah, that's the issue, is that you'll want to ask questions, you'll want to learn, you'll want to understand better, but you won't be able to ask questions to some of your teachers or professors or doctors because you won't be able to phrase it in a way they'll be able to understand and concisely answer you. And that is just the biggest tragedy, I feel like, at least when it comes to getting your college education, you know,

because you'll have someone in front of you with decades of experience, a wealth of knowledge, and true opinions that can construct yours into something a little more concise and better. And you won't be able to pull it out of them because it's fucking hard, you know? And I think that's something else. If I don't know why, no, I know why I'm returning to the cannibalism thing. Because it's a fight that I think is already going to happen. Cannibalism? No, the second I have a chance to write a paper for this.

professor specifically, no, because then it would just be like me, I don't know what I would. I would want to pick a hard, I, I'm fundamentally uninterested in easy arguments, and that's always been my problem. And then I'll make these hard arguments, and then I'll be like, why does no one, or why is everyone having such a hard time agreeing with me? You'll build a coliseum in the desert and ask why no one wants to fight you. Cowards. Cowards.

God. Like, so the two videos I'm working on now, one is this vehemently. anti-Indian account written by someone that lived among the Apache and Comanche for nine years and it's like and it is a white kid that did it but he was taken at the age of 11 so I'm going to have people go on X the everything app and they're going to be like if this guy didn't like I mean he lived with them for almost a decade during very formative time in his life then clearly they had it coming and it's like what I'm going to talk about in the video but there's that it hard argument but essentially obviously my argument is hey it's more complicated than just because just because someone is dead doesn't mean their opinion on what happened to them is worth a damn

like you can have someone tell you their life story now and it's clear they don't understand really what they're not connecting the dots properly like we were bringing up my dad like there's some people it's just it's beyond them

the comprehension of their own life and opinions like I've read dead men's opinions and I'm like damn this guy is on some shit he's really got it But, you know, this Herman Lehman motherfucker, he just did not understand.

What becomes very clear in his account is he believes that civilization rehabilitated him. The reality is his family's love rehabilitated him. And I hate to be cheesy about it. It's sort of cute. I'm glad that he managed to no longer have to fight the nightmare wars. But unfortunately, for his Apache and Comanche friends, they had to keep dealing with the bullshit. And he thankfully just didn't have to. And basically he was subjected to a genocide.

But he put the account. We'll get into it. We'll get into it. But it's like you point someone in the direction of like that sort of historical. I guess the question always is, can you trust people with actual nuance and knowledge? You know, and I like to think so, but it's inevitable. Some people can't be trusted with knowledge. You'll present to the whole image, or at least the best you can.

and they'll pick the pieces they like and that's all the day but they remember. You're telling me the product you're marketing. People aren't going to like what you wanted them to like about it. Oh, you're telling me they're going to pick and choose whatever they like about it and not the best parts

of a product. You're going to go and actually everything app and be like, is he our guy? Yeah. I don't know. I'm just like, I don't know.

It's just funny to me like to hear you say that because like that is my career path is dealing with that. Dealing with that. And I feel like so many people take this wolf of Wall Street approach to it. like, yeah, we're going to control the masses, and this is how they are.

And, of course, we're not trying to control anyone. No, no, no, I'm not saying you. I just saying that, like, I hear arguments like this, you know, because I'm in a ghoulish career path. Like, it's normal to run across people like this. And reality, it's like fishing. Like, I just came back from fishing. Dude, you're just putting shit into the water,

and the randomness of life will make shit happen. People will pick and choose random shit from your videos and spat it back. out at you as though it means anything. They won't decontextualize, then re-contextualize, and then approach and then form opinion and do all that. And I'm going to do all that bullshit. They're just going to snap too fire on X the everything up.

And that's it. Like, it's just a bunch of bullshit, you know. Get a blue sky. Get a low-funk, no. Have you gone on blues? No, it's, well, that's, I'm so, it's culture war bullshit. It's, there are people that would genuinely take the position that, regardless of whether they're not the Kronkua practiced anthropophagy.

They, uh, you can't talk about it because their sheer victimhood means that it just shouldn't be discussed. But obviously, you know, I think that when you see complexity in history, you're not supposed to ignore it. No, no, we should blame victims. I don't, I want to understand them. They are an alien people who I struggle to understand and that's the goal and that's part of it. They also, uh, as Timothy Sider pointed out in his paper, they at the very least

practiced cannibalism in a super abstract way where they, it seems that for their dead they would burn them and they would drink the ashes, which is sort of interesting. And I find that interesting because they would eat their enemies, like to punish them and they would

drink, you understand what I'm saying? Like, I guess I think there's like, there's some significance there that's lost on. There's a weird relationship with the consuming. I don't know. I'm trying to like wrap my head around it, but it's hard all the weird layers to it. I wonder if they invented

a version of lie, though. Like, I wonder if they had any ash in water. Like, I wonder if, like, I wonder if they had, like, any, that doesn't matter. Stupid conversation topic. You know, the galls. The galls would bleach their hair and lie water. Really? Uh-huh. Yeah, I know, it's a

It's actually, I'm cribbing all this. Yeah, I know. It's got a hard as fuck. The dying gall, I'm cribbing all of this from, if you want to wonder what got me into this nightmare history shit, you can blame Dan Carlin in his incredible podcast, hardcore history. I listened to the Celtic Holocaust, and I was like, number one, oh, Julius Caesar wrote a book, and I can read Julius Caesar's, you know, how he felt about everything, you know. And that, once again, that was my realization that the professor in college was trying to impart, you know, that history is, it's a collection of stories, of accounts and records.

And it's not this solid thing. and you have to argue about it, and all that, you know. You know, I just, where history came from, became a fascination. And where was I going with this? I'm sorry. But in the podcast, he talked about the dying gall statue, which I think about constantly as it pertains to Native Americans. But it's like he's, like, heroically nude, and he's, like, falling. And it's like, there's his sword there, which is actually, I think, a later inclusion.

We're not sure how the statue was originally displayed, because I think about this a lot. When you get low on the... I can't remember if Dan Carlin talked about this. This is what I saw when I saw it in person in Rome. If you get really low on the statue and you look up into it, it's a very intimidating expression. Like very sinister. This like Gallic warrior with his mustache and his beads.

He looks like an 80s rock star. Yeah. Like genuinely. And it's like scary as shit. But then you look at him from other perspectives and it's very pitiful, but like in an almost dignified way. Sort of the way that a lot of people will write about Native Americans. Like there's, you know, and I, the way that I try to avoid, like, look at this noble savage and is, you know, this great warrior who casts down by not another great warrior, but rather logistics and technology or whatever.

You know, this warrior who met, who, it doesn't matter. Met his end of circumstance, the hand of God, whatever you want to insert. But that's what I think about is dying gall, is how was it displayed? Was it meant to be this, was it meant to impart that very, I would think, very complicated sort of perspective of victimhood, of warriors and all that? Or was it meant to be like, look at this menacing gall we vanquished, you know, which is obviously much more Roman thing. However, it's a copy of a Greek statue, which is an important thing to note. Really? Mm-hmm.

It was, in spirit or a literal copy? A literal copy. They would make copies of Greek statues were pretty common. thing. I forget where I was going with that. It's just a really fucking cool statue. One of those statues where when I saw it in person, I was like, it really feels like it's going to move and grab you.

I haven't seen many statues in my life. I don't know why. The only one I can think of right now is in this town. It's from a specific book. I used to date a Christian who talked about it. It was about Christ going into a storm, and he opened his hands and the storm calmed or whatever,

but it's in front of this big Catholic is the cathedral downtown. And I remember the first time I saw it, there was like a hurricane coming through and it was like one of the spoils and started to hit the town and so I was driving through and all I see is this like big, red, glowing light

and a massive bronze statue of Christ on a boat hands open up into this storm. I thought that, I kind of like statues now. I kind of get it. I kind of like it, you know. It's not as complex, the idea of a dying gall, nor does it lack the historical circumstance, but

I don't know, I don't go. Statues are awesome. I don't come from a place where statues are common. I love, if you're looking viewers also, I'm just going to give them lists of statues to look up. I think it's just called the, I can never pronounce this, the pugilist, or is it pugalist? Pugalist, I think. Pugolist, okay. Well, it's a Greek statue, and it's from, I just read the Wikipedia

about it, you know, so this is not exactly esoteric knowledge but it he looks so beat down there's nothing heroic about it it's once again that sort of dying gall like that sort of wounded dignity but there's still dignity in it

very interesting statue but I love it because you just once again it's bronze so I'm assuming it was probably easier to make I say as though I have any experience making statue yeah I'm looking behind me as like a welding kit I mean I have made so many bronze statues of course life skies

Braun statues. It's so easy. It'd be kind of cool to make, though. What a cool hobby would that be? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I often like Valorant, history books, bronze statue making. Do not say that I like Valorant. It's not your favorite game. You talk about all the time. You're a jet main, right? Yeah, that's your favorite game. You love

the rocket launcher. You're like, oh, why don't they make more games like this? You say that all the time. All right, guys, thanks for stopping by. I'm a E-Haw Gaming Podcast. Jimenez, what do you have against the... We're getting Barack Obama. I just don't play it. I don't give a shit about one of those games. I actually, should we stop the podcast?

I got to be getting ready here. Because I need to go buy a book for class. So I can, I don't know, it feels weird going back to school. It is nice, though. I definitely feel ready to wreck this shit in a good way. You're going to breeze through it. Well, thus far, the Spanish, I'm really looking. I'm looking forward to just learning Spanish.

I can't wait for the first, like, project where it's like, hey, have a conversation in Spanish in front of me because I'm sure it's going to start with Miyamo X. I'm going to say Miamo Don Quixote de la mancha. Listen, I never met a windmill whose ass I couldn't fucking kick let me say.

I'm just picturing you. That is one of the goals. Genuinely my life life reading goals. Read Caesar's Conquest of Gaul in Latin which I'm just going to be honest. That's never going to fucking happen. And beat the shit out of a windmill, yeah. Well, no, read to fucking Don Quixote in Spanish. I say as though I finished it in English.

I'm like halfway through. What a fucking... The problem is it's 800 pages. It's super dense prose, obviously. And there's... I'm never going to be able to make a video specifically about Don Quixote. Even when I try to work it into videos because I can't... You know how obsessed I am with them?

Like, it just... It overwhelms everything. And also, I have to explain who Don Quixote is. I think you're going to eventually. and whenever you come back to this clip later on and you clip this in the beginning and you make an entire 45-minute video on Don Quixote, I'll remember this moment.

I'll remember the taste of the Celsius. Maybe someday. I think it'd be good. It would be a good, I don't know. You don't have to make everything that's popular. That's like making a video about half-life. What the fuck is there to say about Don Quixote? There's always new opinions to say, you know?

Like, there's always new people coming into a space to hear new things. I think it's boring and there should have been more sex scenes. Half-life? I think Don should have hung dong, homie. Mostly with the Don Quixote shit, I can't avoid the... When I'm sober, I'm Don Quixote. And when I'm drunk, I'm just that Don Burnham ass motherfucker. You know what I'm saying?

The dichotomy of Don. Maybe that's the video. I think you should just give up on real life and go straight up to the cryptozoology. Like, be like a Bigfoot hunter. Get like a Nat Geo TV show. Oh, man, you know, it's funny. When I was a kid, I loved those Bigfoot shows. And it was my dad.

He said, because, like, obviously, like, I'd, you know, as a kid, like, I dicked around in the woods and all that. And you've smelled, like, a rotting deer. Yeah. You can't, you know, imagine, like, a human rotting or a big foot, like, an eight foot tall. Like, how bad that would fucking smell. And he's like, why have his, you know, not a single dead bigfoot? And I was like, oh, yeah. We, like, we probably would have found one of those.

We shot them all. That's what it was. We got rid of every last one. I like the idea the aliens dropped him off just to fuck with us. It's a little too Rick and Morty for my taste. Don't call me Rick and fucking. I mean, that show really disappeared, didn't it? Have you tried watching it recently?

Oh, I love Frick and Morty. They really... I watch every season when it comes out. What fucks me up, though, is the voices. They really cannot... I can't remember what Justin Royland did, so I don't want to advocate for his return. Do you know what he did? Something involved in a young kid.

Oh, not a young kid. kid kid but like a teenager and that's all the same it's in the same diddling square but like i could be wrong i don't fucking know want to talk about the flying spaghetti monster welcome back to the misinformation podcast you got some poor some poor redditor i'll be honest hey want to hear me say it's pickle rick the show is still good by the way like beyond like the rick and morty weed pin shit and like uh like all that like the show is still good yeah maybe that is its problem is it just became aggressively uncool to like during

one of the long breaks because it takes them way too long to make a season. You know, like two or three years, but yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean, see, that's why I could never be a content creator because, like, I like to, I like to like things. You know? I like to, I like to have joie de leave.

I like to go through life with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. Yeah, have love in your heart. My fucking video about Halo is going to piss everyone off Because I'm going to say, like, I'm going to say about Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, all this shit. I'm going to say, you need to stop. You need to stop enjoying all this escapist bullshit because it's just ruined your relationship with art. I'm just going to, you cannot tell people, hey, you don't actually like these things, like, but I'm going to.

I'm going to tell Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Halo. I'm going to tell all of them to get fucked. You can say that about Halo. That's okay. Well, Halo, yeah, you can go, well, that's the thing is Halo sort of really, due to Microsoft's incompetence, there's no. No, and also Disney's with Star Wars. Like, it really helps highlight, like, hey, when you make art from a cynical place, turns out it's joyless and cynical.

Like, because what bothers me about Halo fans, I'm going to make this exact point, is they will say, make Halo 3 again, make Halo 3 again, make Halo 3 again. But you remember when Disney just made a new hope again? Like, there's nothing to do. Halo 3 exists, and it's phenomenal. Why do you want a shallow corporate imitation? of Halo 3, which preys upon your love for it. People need to form healthier, more well-informed relationships to the escapist fiction they enjoy.

I specifically focus on the escapist thing for reasons in the video, because obviously Halo is not defined by being escapist fiction. It's sort of bleak, but it is fundamentally, you know. I just, I don't know if it's such an issue. Yeah, it is an issue, of course, of a bit of it. With the observers, I just feel like it's... people making stuff. It's people making things and

people liking it, you know? Like, that's what it's about, you know? Like, it's not about, like, latching onto trends. It's about creating something that either now or later inevitably becomes popular, whether it's a 90s fantasy series that takes off on HBO

or whether it's something that's an instant smash success, you know? Like, it's... I'm not an artist, so it's hard for me to talk about art. It's difficult for me. So, like, it's... Well, the basic... You don't need to be fucking Pablo Picasso to

point out the obvious reality that artists don't like being chained to a desk so they can make a shallow imitation of something that they had no hand in making in the first place. Like it's it feels a little, it's a little hyperbolic to call it cruel, as I do in the video thus far, but I think

it's fucking cruel to just to beg Microsoft to chain all these people to a desk so they can pump out Halo 3 again. You know, that's sort of fucked up, I think. Like, say what you will about whatever Bioshock. Bioshock fans are not

excited about Cloud Chamber studios, the studio that 2K made from the ground up to shallow to shallowly, which is not even a word, whatever, to do the cynical harvesting of the Bioshock IP that is eventually going to come. Stuck in development hell. It hasn't

happened yet, but I'm glad it hasn't happened yet. I hope it never happens. For some reason, Halo fans lack the necessary understanding to understand what they're asking for. Like, they think it's possible to get Halo 3 again, as though Halo 3 wasn't the product of a dedicated, talented team working within their own creation, trying to bring it to an epic conclusion. Did you see that documentary, too? What documentary?

I quoted Marty O'Donnell. It's about, I think it's from Halo 3, but there's a documentary about people making the games, and it's beautiful. To be clear, I've done my research. It's good. It's a good video. I just like reading. I don't like watching shit like that. I like watching stuff.

Yeah, yeah. What is it? The TikTok. room my brain can't um i don't even have tictock download i can't even use that excuse i just i don't know it just like i think we're fundamentally different people when it also comes to products and services right because like i never approach a product or a service with a question or asking for something i never ask for something i observe onto it and i leave it where i found it or i use it forever. Like, yeah, I want Titanfall to exist. I want there to be a Titanfall three. We all know a

good movement shooter. Well, unlike Halo, there's, I think there's a lot of place. There's space to grow with Titanfall. Yeah. In admittedly, I'm not the only person to express this opinion. Obviously fucking not. We need a Titanfall three. Everyone knows we need a Titanfall three. Movement shooters aren't dead yet, and they'll come back again even if they are. So like, it's not that crazy of a concept. my issue is that whenever this dog shit Corpo bullshit rat water

dog water shit comes out I don't know why I keep saying water but like it comes out and it just comes out into the ground and shit like that people don't like it it should be reflected in sales the issue is that like whenever you have

things like game pass and subscription services and you play or whatever fucking weird proprietary platform they've invented right whatever you have these services that make games hear me out they make games more accessible but I feel like

by making them more accessible it allows companies to continue making dog water how does it make them more accessible because more people can play them for like GamePass or through UPlay or like whatever the EA one is I thought you play was just like

Ubisoft's bullshit okay you're talking about the subscription subscription services okay I think it's like you play this is where I sound like a fucking like idiot though it's the fact that like yeah I'm a big fan of accessibility. I love GamePass. I think it is a good product. I think they're doing standard oil shit at the moment. That's the thing about it though, is that we both agree that we're currently in the midst of a hyper monopoly in the gaming market. Well, I wouldn't say, they're too incompetent

to be a monopoly. They could have been. That's what a monopoly is. It's so funny. They have enough money. They're government contractors. You're giving them too much respect. That's what I'm saying. You're giving them too much respect. Monoplies act like monopolies. They do stupid shit. They use dumb things. They have no prerogative. They have no reason, no incentive to do better. Microsoft acts like they already won the gaming industry and yet they've been losing it the entire time. I don't think the Xbox brand has ever been profit. But what is winning? Making money? Is it consolidation? Is it making a profit is Microsoft's long-term goal, which they cannot achieve? Like I understand that like console, the console game is like fucking hard. And there's a reason that they constantly, uh, everyone's

constantly failing to capture market share. But like Sony is the definition of do nothing and win. It's so funny to me. And I I, you know, I tried to play the oblivion remaster again because I didn't return it fast enough. Like I got two hours

in. Yeah. I'm genuinely shocked at how shitty that game performs and how bad it looks too. Like, I launch oblivion and I walk and I turn and it's just a slideshow. It's, and I understand part of that is epic

their bullshit Unreal Engine which for some reason just runs like ass on PC That is why I quit Oh they switched Halo to Unreal Engine Did you know about that? Yeah because Microsoft Overrelied on contractors

So there was no like permanent institutional knowledge At 343 Because they got the Halo engine From Bungee Like it's part of the deal And so basically You ended up in this situation

And this is all I'm going off what I've read Obviously I don't know shit About this actual Like I'm not an expert On this shit I don't know nothing about You show me a number

I have a panic attack But the idea goes That due to like they basically end up with an engine That no one who actually works there Like knows how to use it Yeah Or how to troubleshoot problems It's the machine in the back of the shop

That everyone needs but no one knows how to fix Yeah So like it seems to me that with their founding of Halo Studios They've learned exactly zero lessons Or they've learned a lesson The lesson they learned is If we're gonna be awful ghouls We gotta be smarter awful ghouls

Well didn't you yourself say that Another issue is they're brain draining themselves Like, people are leaving Microsoft actively as this is happening. Even, let's say theoretically, there's someone out there that can make Halo 3, 2. And it wouldn't be bad, which is absurd. That's like saying, well, how don't someone make Return of the King to? You know what I mean? Like, let's continue this epic.

Did you know they're making a fucking Gallum movie? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, look it up right now. No, I, I talk about it in the script. I need to see it. I just need to see this. I need, I need, I need this. front of me. But yeah, I was reading comments. Like, there was a short about it. I'm afraid this may be

the last time we see Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf. So I hope, I truly hope they take the time and make this one special. Okay, oh, no, no, no, first off, are they bots? Is the internet dead? This is a bot. This has to be a bot. This is a bot or this is someone who is, no, no, I refuse to believe. Superfan O2 is a bot. Look them up. You can find them. You can literally pull their

face up. Here, let's actually, I will insert this into the podcast. Bad news for Lord of the Rings fans, or maybe good news depending on how you see it the hand for gollum the new lord of the rings film has been delayed by a full year and the circus who's both directing and reprising his role as gollum recently confirmed that the film will now release in december 2027 instead of 2026 the reason while the script is still in early development you know why the script is still in early development what the fuck do you do this is based on uh Tolkien is the most long-winded motherfucker on earth

I'm about to finally finish all the Lord of the Rings books. And this is, all of this is based on, from what I can gather, this. And my search for Gallum would have been in vain, but for the help that I had from a friend, Aragorn, the greatest traveler and huntsmen of this age of the world. Together we sought for Gallum, down the whole length of wilderness, without hope and without success. But at last, when I've given up the chase and turned to other paths, Gallum was found. My friend returned out of great perils, bringing the miserable creature with him. So that's the story that they're going to try to turn into a feature-length film.

That's what they're going to dump millions of dollars into. So Amazon, I'm going to try to teach you something that Microsoft still has yet to learn. People are not, people don't like the Lord of the Rings because of the trademark and the copyright that you spent millions of dollars on. They like a story, a story that was written by J.R. Tolkien for his children. They don't give a fuck about any of it. Like, I love Ghalham as a character. I'm a fucking former addict, man. You can imagine how much, like, meaning I find in Gollum as a character.

And, yeah, let's read these comments. I'd rather than take an eternity. I'm so fucking mad. I'd rather them take an eternity to make a brilliant film than a day to make a rushed one. Open up that fucking reply bar. I still can't believe it out of all the things to make a movie about. You make a movie about this? Like, what?

What about the war in the north? What about Aragorn's rule after return? Okay, this motherfucker's actually asking for Return of the King, too. but the fall of honor Khaza doom the elf kinslang the lands in the east of middle earth the blue wizards like come on Like granted

No those are all better But like don't do any of it Yeah but all those things We have We have it's a classic of There is a page on Wikipedia Called Tolkien's prose And it's just the academic conversation

Surrounding Tolkien's prose And it which it absolutely deserves And it And now Gollum video game. Amazon treats it like it's McDonald's. Oh, yeah, it feels like it. Like it's Transformers.

You know, I can talk about it now. I can talk about it. Okay, so like, I briefly went over this with you earlier, but again, I wish that I could make an edit of a television show and release it for free somewhere so that I could show people a better product because I have a unique way of watching the Rings of Power. I like rings of power. I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan, but I like to watch it my way.

I watched the entire first episode, whole thing. Got to get to know the characters, right? They set it all up for you. And then, you. You skip every single scene that doesn't have Galadrio, Calabrimmore, or Hellbrand. You skip every scene that doesn't have one of those three characters. It is a good show. It's three hours, two seasons, enjoy it.

That's all you have to do. Skip every single scene, except for that. Galadriel is genuinely one of my favorite characters because the way she's introduced. You all like her. Particularly in the book. No, that's what I'm saying. It's the mystery of her. What are her, is she just going to take this ring?

And, like, you know, like you don't know. And she's very intimidating and mysterious, beautiful, and terrible. And I don't want to see her do sword backflips. It's like Yoda. Like, I don't want to see Yoda do his. It's like that bit where George Lucas and behind the scenes said, and now we're finally going to get to see him whip out his little laser sword and go to town. Like, I don't want to see that.

That's not who Yoda is supposed to be. He's supposed to be this mysterious, like, powerful, understated, character. Well, Gladiol now is a... I don't want to hear an excuse. No, no, no. I won't hear it. I have no excuse to say. After this one, they could make a nine-hour trilogy on the short stay at Tom Bombadil's cottage in the woods. I did that. I want a Tom Bombadil origin. 25 minutes? Perfect. But Jim and Lee, like, it's the show, it just, it misses so hard. It misses so hard in a way I could not describe through words. Like,

it is a train crashing in slow motion because it was made to satisfy the demands of investors yeah totally it was made for a return on investment to clarify that is he just sat down and he wrote a story to clarify that's every project either it's just that this one was create no that's not every project ever wait wait wait hold up that is every project ever because if he didn't publish it if he didn't want to make money like if he just wanted to get it out there to make money what he wrote it it was a massive risk. Fantasy for adults was a non-existent genre. He made an entire genre. He did. I'm not denying his creditations. In Halo, too, it's people get attached to these things that fundamentally

are risks. And then once they stop being risks, then they become these quote-unquote sure things. And investors dump cash into them. By the time investors realize the actual value, they never realize the actual value. They just see the numbers go up. And by the time they're dumping money into it, Like, it's gone. The story is usually already told and finished. See, that's my thing. Is that, like, you make these things to make money. And the issue is, is that whenever you have the thing that gave you money in the first place creating it, it's just a cycle of bullshit.

It's an echo chamber of just bullshit over and over and over. You find artists who make good things who want to make money and you buy their thing and you listen to them. Until inevitably you get fired and someone else doesn't listen to them anymore. As I'm going to say in the video, like, art is a bad investment. It's got to be the worst one on Earth. So they try to find these sure things, but the sure things are the exact last thing that deserve money. And I'm not, like, it'd be one thing if this was working, right?

Like if Microsoft was, they don't make money. The ghouls are quite simply wrong. So it's... Well, there's one thing I have against this, right? This is the only thing I disagree with this, right? Is, yeah, they're not making money. I'm playing a lot of games with a lot of different people for an incredibly low price. I feel like, yeah, we're currently in a gaming monopoly,

but as an Xbox player with GamePass, I'm having a fucking ball, dude. I mean, like, games have never been more accessible than right now. And I don't know what that will look like in the future because I don't know if I want to pay $80 to play every single title that I actually want to play. And I play a lot of indie. Most of the shit I play is under $20 or $30, right?

Like, but even then, like, we're living in a good time to be a gamer unless you're a Nintendo player, but I don't really care what you have to say. So, like, that's okay. Well, Nintendo games are good. Yeah, they're good. Nintendo gamers, I don't care what they say. The games are good. I don't care what they have to say.

Like, it's a good game. They're good games. I think all Earthbound fans should be put into a camp. And frankly, I'm not sure if Nintendo disagrees with me. What's Earthbound? Basically, a fan base for these classic Nintendo titles. Only one of them, it was the mother games. And only one of them, which was called Earthbound, was translated and put in English.

And I think it was put on the S&ES. And basically, it's like, very cult following. and for Nintendo, they're sort of in that EA position where you got these properties that just print cash. So why are you going to dump money into, say, Metroid, which sure is profitable, but it's not that, you know. But, you know, Earthbound doesn't even compare to that shit. But basically, it's like, I just joke that Nintendo hates Earthbound fans

and they're going to put them into a camp and get rid of them once and for all. Like they possess a borderline racist genocide. hatred. Of course, the reality is they just don't like. I think they went after one translation project maybe. I'm not sure. I mean, they go after tournament owners too. Like, Tos have to deal

with Nintendo all the fucking time, so that's not crazy. Yeah, I'm not hating on you if you're a Nintendo fan. I just want to say that. This is an actual human in the comment section of the Gallum movie. I'd rather they just stop trying to make new films. It is already over. Pippin already sang the last goodbye.

Like, this is an old format. that's one thing that genuinely was really cool about Halo was those custom game modes and the way we got like Griffball, like there are actual game modes in the game now. I know, like it's, uh, oh let's stop the podcast before this

cat, fine, also I really got to get going. Yeah, you gotta get going with cat's tip on. Thanks for stopping by everyone. I just got to say, I think this one went a lot better than the last one. I don't know why. But yeah, we're, I got it edited. We're going to get it. I'm going to get it. Yehaw gaming. Tell Tell your friends. This is episode

17 signing up. No, this is our eighth attend. Well, whatever. Adios, guys. Later. Like and subscribe.