The Yewneek Pod - Bryan Callen goes on Legion of Skanks and gets roasted?!! Cumia getting sued again?

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

The fighter and the kid host and comedian joins the LOS crew to chop it up. They roast Brendan Scahub and Bryan. Did Luis J Gomez troll yewneek about lie detectors? Anthony Cumia responds to yet another lawsuit threat , this time from Greg "opie"Hughes. Yewneek also contemplating having a sitdown with the dreaded mother in law. Time for some ultimatums?

That rocks Gonna win, yeah, we're Gonna win, yeah, we're Gonna win, yeah, we're Gonna win, yeah, we're Gonna win, yeah we're Gonna win, yeah we're Gonna win, yeah we're Gonna win, yeah we're Taking over the world Yeah, we're taking over Black Lives Matter Black Lives Matter

We run through your arms I know we've been through the opposite Don't know where and yet we're Don't know where are, yeah, we are Takin' over We run to your house I'm a I'm a I'm gonna win, yeah, we up I'm gonna win, yeah, we up I'm gonna win, yeah, we up I love you. If you can name it, there's a guy who's fucked it. Oh, yeah. Blenders.

Guys that fuck blenders. Guy fucking a snake. Yeah, I know, right? Guy that fuck tables. The snake pussy. Chairs. He's got a big anaconda. There was a problem there. Fix it.

Fix it. Okay, I'm sorry I even said it. I'm sorry I said it. I said it. I'm sorry I said it. I said it. What is good? Welcome to the live stream. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and donate. The preferred way of donating is hitting the stream live link in the chat.

What's good? What's up? Mad Dubs on Warzone. They got rid of Sticks and Stones. I'm heated, but I played the shit out of it, kind of knowing they're going to get rid of it. Mad Crown Dubs on Fortnite because my cousin called out of work. Brian Callen is on legion of skanks i dm'd um luis j gomez and i said hopefully you'll be asking callan a question about the lawsuit he said yes and right now they started earlier than i thought they were i thought i'm gonna start at nine but callan's on there now let's check it out for right now they started earlier than I thought they were I thought gonna start at 9 but counts on there now let's check it out for right now yeah everybody wants to be part of something yeah so it's kind of like

there's an intimacy yeah two things that are most rare are intimacy and adventure those are the two things that we don't get enough of. And that's why... Not Lewis. He has it in spades, dude. This guy's always on an adventure. I'm getting lost in your eyes. Intimate adventures? That's all I do.

It's been a adventure Lewis' whole life. You've never been to Jamaica, have you? Are you going to fight Ellis? I'm going to. That is an intimate adventure. If he knocks me out,

he's going to eat my butt. It's going to be an intimate adventure. Let me ask you this. Maybe you can't say it. Are you going to go... Are you favoring wrestling, are you favoring wrestling or are you going to

stand and bang? I am planning on just throwing head kicks. The whole fight. In the air. Non-stop head kicks. In the fucking air. Wait, Lewis,

before we get into anything, I want to get this out there in the world because I think it's a fantastic idea and I said it on Bonfire Day but I want to bring it here because we talked about it

was I've been watching that show 60 Days In brand new and you should be on that show. What's the show 60 Days In? They take civilians and you basically go undercover in jail for 60 days. Oh, I've heard about this.

But no one knows except two of the men. Alright, so while they babble about this, let me give you some quick backstory. Lewis said they're gonna put Brian Callen on a lie detector test and ask him a bunch of shit. You're live via satellite?

Yes, this is on their website. Their chat's not working, though. But yeah, I texted Lewis, or I DMed him and said, ask him about the lawsuit. So that question will be asked. I wonder what they're going to say about it. We're now countless babbling. We got to play, Komi did a nice Opie bashing.

I got a bunch of shit to say about that as well. My breakout, buddy. You know what I think about with jail? I swear to God, my biggest fear? The food. Can't get good coffee. Or fresh produce. For my skin. Me, it's the non-stop raping.

That's a problem. I can't go gluten-free in jail. That's my new thing, by the way, is gluten-free Yeah, you can't do gluten free. You're gluten free now. I'm gluten free now. For how long? You're gluten free? For like three days. No, after I went to Italy.

Warning! Warning! I've been G free for three days. Are you prepared to break that streak? Dougie, well, after going to Italy and doing a little bit of research on why I didn't get fat after eating nothing but pasta and pizza for a week. Gluten. It's all the fucking gluten. I have a massive gluten intolerance.

Every time I eat gluten, it feels like there's a big fucking rock in my stomach. I've got to shit my brains out. So is there not gluten in the pasta and pizza over there? There is, but it's not poisoned the way it was. You know what I heard? This is why. This is the reason.

Because when they make the pasta, when they make bread in Europe, they use active yeast cultures, so it's sourdough. Oh, yeah, they're just babbling right now. I'll pick it up when they really get into it. But, uh... The Zoom episodes really suck. I didn't think they were going to start until 9.

I'm a little shocked they started this early And they didn't play an hour of fucking music On the lead up But um This lie detector thing Sounds like it could be good It should be And like I said I DMed Louis

And Louis said he was going to ask him about the lawsuit So But how was your Monday? that he's going to ask him about the lawsuit. But I was here Monday. Like I said, my cousin called out of fucking work because he was like, fuck that. He only works four days a week. I guess he's going to do a three-day week. But he only pays $600 a month rent.

So he makes enough to do that. Single guy in a studio in Maine. Shut the fuck up. Tell me to clear my voice. The hot... Oh, that was another episode of this season. I didn't like the hot pepper episode of Cobra Kai my butthole chin I have a Tom Brady chin all of that she's Danny Harrington if you realize who she's spreading her legs for you would also join in this. There's got to be a wonderful picture of him

or something of him and... Yeah, they haven't gotten into the main thing we want to cover yet. How much is a studio in your area? I have no idea. I found... a big-ish YouTuber in my area who has a studio

who I might contact just to use his studio? Because he's got a studio set up. And I would like to do a couple of things there in Providence. So, see how that goes. And he's interviewed people I know and shit. It's a black hood thing now. So, you just couldn't figure it out.

The Baba Booey Chin. They're playing Lewis fighting. Enough of the Lewis. Yeah, like I said, when they question Callan and shit and the lie detector bit we'll get into it I'm glad they're starting early though I thought they were gonna

start until 9 having me live at Skinkfest why would that be cool? I think to use that studio like anytime someone comes into Providence I could imagine me interviewing like a Jim Norton

or a Tim Dillon in that studio space that dude has that's all I would use it for and I'd split whatever it came from at 5050 with him and like the dude he has over 300,000 subscribers but you get like 10,000 views a video so like he's got a channel it doesn't really make that much money for him though at least now but they own other shit too i think associate i think they own like a club in Providence and shit. They're mainly like a music channel.

So I ought to approach them on some separate shit that I want to do. I know nobody wants me to interview them they're all fucking petrified of me although I'm a great interviewer I interview people amazingly I turn into a vegetable Cervera even you're Spanish

all the Brendan Schaub defenders are Spanish dudes why it makes no sense oh fucking I can't remember the channel name Sutton Club name I just found them today and I can't even remember the name really cause they dropped a clip

on Twitter of a huge fight at a restaurant in Providence and I know one of the dudes in the fight, no, not that channel, no, I never hang out with Mike from Red Bar, no, it would have nothing to do with their style of fan base, I just want to use their studio, and I'd fit in with their style of fanbase because like I said, the nigga interviewed I know.

If I really looked into it, I probably know the nigga because we're so small. And shit. Pre or post slurring? Let's see when it goes. It'd be after their late show, so.

Who will replace Theo? Nobody. One of those faggots he pays daddy's money for in the background what Nick producer Nick those losers I am black enough to use the studio the dude who runs it is Kate Verdean

just like me so trust me he's heard what you said too use the studio. The dude who runs it is Cape Verdean just like me. So, trust me, he's heard what you said too. Dummy. We don't allow rape in Rhode Island prison. Fucking Dave Chappelle story. I love that. James is going to do a special with No Jokes All Serious in 25 years.

Tell him the story of that. A one-man show. For sure. My daddy drove me to this. It's called Eddie. That's his stepdad's name. James S. Gomez. Eddie. Eddie was there to pick up the... All right, get to the Brian Callen bit already. Because I'm about to play the

Kumia thing. I think it's going to take them a minute to get into the Callen thing. But he wasn't around a lot before that either. Listen to me. No, he was around. Not me. He was around a lot. I have never met a fucking comic that doesn't have some misfittery in his past. You've got to have some dysfunction.

Yeah. You've got to. A little bit. I think like. You have rapes. Hearing that you have to like yourself. I fucking disagree. You've got to have a deep sense of self-loathing

because then there's a hole that you never fill. Well, definitely to be a comic. Yeah. But most things, like most people that are interesting. Content? Yuck. Well, also like most, yeah. You've got to compensate. You've always got to be compensating.

I mean, I wouldn't be this muscular if it wasn't for my fucking partner. You've got gotta ask yourself, lady, do you want these abs, or do you want a guy who's stable? That's the question I ask every time, bro. You understand me. I ask the same question, and

I hope they ask the other way. I could act stable for a while. I wish my pain manifested itself by doing ab work. That would be awesome. Oh my god, I know. It's like, yeah, when I'm frustrated, I just got to go work out. I just eat by myself. Yeah. Yeah.

Fucking Cool Ranch Doritos in a hotel room alone? Is that weird? What's that? Eating Cool Ranch Doritos at 2 a.m. in a hotel room by yourself? Is that weird? Have you ever done Cool Ranch Doritos with ranch dip? It's like ranch overloaded. Rules.

No, but Cool Ranch Doritos with regular salsa. With regular salsa? Face time. Yeah, salsa. Ranch Doritos with regular salsa. With regular salsa? FaceTiming. Yeah, salsa. You don't do ranch. I'll describe it to you so you don't have to eat it. I think that it's funny because Misfunctions is also kind of sexy.

There's a huge, there's a fucking huge gulf between the people you want to have sex with sometimes and the people you want to have kids with. You know what I mean? At least until you mature like me. But when you're younger, it's like she's got a bat tattooed to her face, track marks. Sign me the fuck up. Those are the girls.

I'll give you a drawer in my house. I'll give you a drawer. That's it. That's where I draw the line. And then they're living with you. It is a different thing though. I remember when I was younger, it was just about how hot she was. And part of how hot she was was a little bit how crazy and damaged she was it's like a hot thing and now that like i've had yeah but they're talking about that they haven't gotten to the lie detector bit and then asking them about the lawsuit question bit i think they're trying to get him drunk

because he's drinking i think i see i. I see their thing. Hey, this is a normal show you're on. Keep drinking. We'll babble out whatever. And then we'll get into it. Hopefully that's their plan. He's so cringe in the environment. He's whispering. He was whispering, right?

I thought my audio was fucked up. All right, but call me a smashed opium. I kind of want to check this out. Yeah, like a gator, right? Like something, a gator thing with the hitch and the garbage.

Then we'll get back to the count. And I'll fucking have like the Desert Eagle on me. When they get to the important shit. A bear's gonna jump. Oh, you fucking shit. Like, ah. I'm like a caveman.

I have to kill animals to survive taking my garbage to the curb and by the way a lot safer than new york still safer than new york city bear won't try to rape you as far as i know yeah i did see that movie with leoCaprio. It looked like the bear was raping him. That Revenant movie was terrible. And how that's the Oscar you got it for is beyond me. Revenant? Yeah. Revenant.

But it's a whole different way of life. I get it. But I'm geared for it. I'm set up for it. Revenant movie was terrible. But these guys do everything. They put in retaining walls and the fucking studio, pool house, entertainment center outside, the pool itself, the fucking... Fall River.

They do everything. They oversee it. No, it's not funny. So I just have to win a few sessions of blackjack, and I'm set. One thing that scares the living shit out of me financially, I'll be honest, these upcoming lawsuits

from the likes of Stuttering John and Greg Opie Hughes, I am petrified that they're going to take everything I've worked my whole life for. You may have heard stuttering John Melendez has put it out online, without even trying to hide it, that he would sue me if I even have enough money. He won a Sharon Stone lawsuit for $30,000 back in the 90s,

and that ended his lawsuit victory streak. But he insists he can sue me for calling him an idiot and saying that he's a horrible father and saying that his children are mentally ill because of his horrible job as a dad. So I'm sitting on that. And then over the course of since Thursday, news broke that another person, Greg Opie Hughes, wants to sue me for saying he's mentally ill.

I think that's proof you're mentally ill. If you want to sue someone for calling you mentally ill, I think you're mentally ill. I really think that fits the criteria. This guy, I swear to you, I fucking swear to you, I don't even want to talk about him. I don't want to every fucking day now. Yes, you do.

Now have to address this guy. And I can not do it. I could just not acknowledge this. But I know fans of the show like transparency. They like the fact that I do discuss these things that come up. And I just feel compelled to just kind of answer what I'm seeing going on with Opie. Do we have the clip? Here we go.

Let's play the whole clip. You know, I swear to you, this is, I'm not even joking. He continues with that. I will sue him. Okay, pause for a minute. That's what it says. Koumias says you're mentally aisle. All right, that right there, I think I could hit the judge with that one. I said he's mentally aisle.

I don't know what he's talking about. Is it true? Now, here you go. There's this guy, Chris Dow. I don't know what he's talking about is it true now here you go there's this guy chris dow i don't know who he is i don't know what he does but how can opie not see that kumi says you're mentally ill uh is it true is that true how do you not know that's a troll if he just said kumi says you're mentally ill how do you answer that how do you not know that's a troll? If he just said, Kumia says you're mentally ill, how do you answer that? But saying, is that true, is a troll? He's fucking reeling you in, you dumb fish. I'll sue you.

I'm not a fish. I have lungs and breathe oxygen. I'll sue you. You're in a Kanye from South Park park uh by the way that's a great he lives in a shack in harlem and he's using a i will sue you you can't say that uh let's continue and i will sue him over that and then let's let then let's see what's going to happen. Pause one more time here. Well, not one more time. I'm going to pause you.

What happened to your eyes? You're slithered. Opie doesn't even have Asian eyes. Opie has some... How can you look outside of those eyelids? He needs a rink surgery, but how can you look outside of those eyelids? He needs a rink surgery, but

how do you see out of those tiny slits, my nigga? The suing thing. I remember saying this as a child in elementary school. You'd say it or you'd hear it from someone else. You're an idiot. Dad's a faggot. You're this guy. You're fucking that guy. You're on my property. You're this. You're fucking... I'm gonna

sue you! Suing... Yelling you're gonna sue someone. Threatening to sue someone. First of all, you don't threaten to sue someone. You sue someone. That's how it works in the real world. Anyone that's filed a legitimate lawsuit against someone

files the lawsuit. They don't go, hey, one more time and I'm going to sue you. Don't do it. No one does that. Who is the fucking comic? He made a't do it. No one does that. Who is the fucking comic? He made a bit of it. It was a bit of it.

Oh, he would do the we are the world fucking impression at the end of the. Kevin Meaney? Kevin. Kevin Meaney. We are the world. 30 years later, he was still doing that bit. A banana Kevin Meaney. He was very, he was still doing that bit. A banana, Kevin Meaney. He was very good.

He was a funny guy. But that was a bit of his because it's so funny to say you're going to sue someone. And he used to do a bit where his mother would bitch about anything Kevin did because we're going to get sued for it. You can't say that, Kevin. They'll sue us. They're going to take the goddamn house. That was always it. They're gonna take the goddamn house. What are you doing up there with your jack sauce? Take the house. I'm gonna sue you. Because Kevin grew up then and knew as children the worst thing that someone could say is I I'm going to sue you and take the house.

And it left this impression of your family out in the cold without even clothes because someone sued you. It's juvenile and it's retarded. And, of course, Stuttering John and Greg Opie Hughes are the two people right now that want to get litigious with me because they fall into the category of stupid and or retarded and childish. So I was kind of taken aback by the Gregster for threatening a lawsuit. But he did. Here's a little more. Greg Ope. Literally, I worked with two insane people,

and then they're the ones that are going to try to spin it that I'm mentally ill. Pause. Do you see what he just did there? Literally insane. He just called me and Jimmy literally insane. And I won't think we're going to need jobs around this house. And he's suing me for saying he's insane. I don't know if you could do that.

I don't know if you can do that. I don't know what he means because he is making himself now open to litigation because you know how crazy I am with suing people. I don't think I've ever said I'm going to sue somebody. I've never sued anyone

either, but I don't think I've ever said like, ah, you. I'll sue you upster because i was brave enough to talk about a mentally ill mom because a lot of people go through life with someone in their family someone close to them that is mentally ill so i'm like you know what i'm gonna relate to the people and tell them that i had a really hard time with a mentally ill mom paul again making it about him himself kind of a you know i had a mentally ill mom

i uh she ain't grabbing first of all she's still alive i'm the boss she's able to conduct her life, I guess. She's able to, you know, she's not in a facility or anything. I think Opie probably saw a lot more that it was mental illness than it really was. She probably fucked up a little bit. I met her a couple times. Seemed a little off, but nothing crazy. Nothing like, you know, eight years of a mother going downhill with alzheimer's who did that oh i did opie like yeah your parents get old and shit happens what are you gonna do but um for this guy to think like i would because i was brave enough.

Please, please understand this. Nothing I said about you being a mental patient, Craig, had anything to do with your mother being or not being a mental patient. Just didn't. I call you mentally ill because I experienced years of your mental illness. Years. As the co-host of the Opie and Anthony show, I saw shit that only somebody with a severe mental illness would do.

And that was you. I honestly believe you are mentally ill. Could I expect a subpoena as a process server? Are they lined up at the door between you and stuttering John to sue me? Nothing to do with your mother. Why would you even bring that up? I was brave enough because I was brave enough to talk about my mother if your mother was mentally ill and you conducted yourself in a sane manner that people that can work and play well in a society in a group of people, I would never have said that you're mentally ill.

You see? It has nothing to do with your mother. Why would you bring your mother up? Oh, because you're mentally ill. That's why you'd bring your mother up. Instead of taking some responsibility for how you conducted yourself in a working environment with other people why doesn't anyone that worked with you talk to you

because his mother had mental issues is that it is that why jimmy won't talk to you sam travis any of the comics that were on the show is that why they won't talk to you you know i loved the guy he was whatever happened to charade small fun and funny so reasonable and sensible but his mother was nuts. I'll have nothing to do with it. An N.A., I'll help you if you want. No. You really want to take this to court? Are you a hot chick? Want to suck my dick?

You stomped on a homeless man's cake. Who does that? You threw poker chips at a poor person that was bringing them in as a gift. Who would do that? A mental patient. Unless, of course, you realize it's for the show. Fucking

guy. But I'm here to say, and I'm going to say it again. I'll say it again. How do you see out of these eyes? It's like a face-owned shot and little slits cut with razor blades. How are you seeing out of these? It was something that worried me and the rest of my siblings.

So we've all been checked out for all sorts of stuff. And I'm clean as can be. Pause. What? There... First of all, there's no test for mental illness. There's no test. It's not like COVID.

Let me swab your nose. I want to see if you're fat shit crazy. There's no test for nuts do you see what happens when first of all okay let's say someone commits a horrific crime and the lawyer goes my client is nuts what's the first thing they do all right we'll have them assessed by a team of psychologists and psychiatrists, mental health experts. And then the defense goes, yes, and we will too. We're going to have our own people check him out and see if he's nuts. Then the state comes on and goes, your honor, here is the testimony of our mental health professionals and their conclusion is that this man is completely

sane and he could stand trial for the crimes he committed and the defense comes up and goes your honor we have a paper here from our psychologists and psychiatrists that say he's batshit crazy. Just give him the test. Just test him like Opie was tested in his family. That seems to be a definitive test for lunacy. How do you say something like that? How do you get in front of 12 people and say that you've been checked out for any kind of mental illness, your whole family, and you're fine? Because your mom, it's not like fucking some disease. Oh, my mom got it.

Let me check it out. like maybe some markers for things like alzheimer's sure go in check cancer there have been women that have gotten double mastectomies with nothing showing yet because their mothers and aunts and everyone went through breast cancer, so they knew they had genetic markers for it. Because there isn't a test that says you will definitely get it. There's a percentage thing. But that's something very physical. They can see markers in your DNA. To say you've been checked out, what does that even mean?

You know who says that? A mental patient says that. Yes. I think it lasts much longer. There's no mental illness in this head, and I'm sorry to say. I got some touches of some weird things and that's about it yeah it's a very serious thing in my family and we've uh you know we've all had have gone through some things to make sure you know we're okay and it turns out guess what we're okay sorry to say

oh he's just the worst thank god i don't have to see his stupid gravel face anymore thank god oh he said one of the greatest days of my life knowing i didn't have to you do that gravel face walk in that studio anymore with a miserable person who just wants to what you can look at any show miserable person everyone that i swear to you i could parade people in here that worked with the opie and anthony show and sit them down and in seconds ask them a very quick question. Who was the miserable person walking into that studio

on a daily basis? And I swear to you, without any type of coercion, every single person would say Greg Opie Hughes was the miserable person that walked into that studio. Now, look, I'm not fucking saying that on an occasion everyone had their shitty days.

Bad mood, you're going through some shit, whatever it is. But that was part of that's part of life the thought of walking in there miserable because you're just a miserable person there was one guy that would do that the very same checked out

Greg Opie Hughes every fucking day was miserable a miserable person. And he could pin that on me or Jimmy or anyone else. Again, that's something a mental patient does when the fact of the matter is you're miserable and you're making a miserable work environment for everybody that goes in there wanting to have a good time. Why weren't we miserable when he wasn't there?

There are some shows known as nopey shows, organic nopey shows, where he actually wasn't there, not the ones they edit. Thank God he did that, by the way. I hate the nopey shows. I get the bit of shitting I Opie doing Nopi shows. I don't like them. It's dumb. Opie did serve a purpose. Don't do Nopi shows.

Edit out so much. Why are there edited versions of the Opie and Anthony show where Opie isn't in the show. They've cut out every word he said because they only wanted the miserable people on the, is that it? Holy shit. The Nopey shows are so funny because you and Jim, they're not that funny. I mean,

you're so miserable and he was a hoot. The Nopey shows aren't that funny. I just don't like the nobody shows. Is that it? The guy is absolutely delusional. He absolutely has this false memory of everything that went on. Which I believe is a type of mental illness.

Well, you all never understand. Yeah, we can rank on the 100 times to be fucked up a bit. We'll never get on the credit for the 10,000 times he created a bit and saved it from moving on to something else. I'm no doc. Everything every podcast needs right now

a dude to say stop talking about this and talk about something else so i can't really say it's the thing you can never get holy mother of god dude nobody knows you're gonna that's happening you're gonna sue me for saying you're nuts is there any more of the craigster left before we tell people about prepare start crap with everybody around him how many current fights how many current problems does the guy have thank god thank god i'm i don't have a real job. Thank God I don't have that income coming in that we had with the ONA show. I couldn't be happier that I have to park my truck on the street and get the mirrors knocked off of it in the middle of the night because I've had to cut corners and can't afford the parking garage

at my fucking building on the Upper West Side anymore. Thank God! Thank God for that. Thank God when that bill comes in for my kid's private school and whatever my wife shops for and the taxes on my Hampton's house and Upper West Side apartment. Thank God I have zero income coming in. I have zero money coming in. Unless you want to count a dollar from fucking Sandy

from fucking Saskatchewan. Holy shit. The guy is mental. I'll leave it right there. In closing, I will say, Opie is mentally ill. There you go.

Expecting your subpoena. Yeah. And Opie is mentally ill. Yes, he is. I agree with you. All right. So Callan on Lena Skinks. Have they gotten to the bit yet? On Ari's a cock.

It's all fake. You know what I always remember about Ari? The reason I've always loved Ari is because we did Rogan. We both opened for him a long, long time ago. And he had CDs. I'm a terrible businessman. And I'm a terrible businessman. And I'm even worse at self-promotion, right?

And you were telling me the same thing. And Ari was trying to sell his CDs. And it sounds like a little thing, or his DVDs. And people didn't have money, or some people didn't have enough. And he just started going, ah, fuck it. There you go. And he just gave them all away to everybody who couldn't afford it. Because he could give a fuck. He's a sweetheart.

That's who he is. He's a really sweet dude who's also really evil. But it brings him so much childish joy to pull these pranks that when you see him, if you ever see Ari after he's pulled off a successful prank, it's one time, who was it? Was it Bobby's birthday or someone? We were just on the podcast. It was yours? Was it Bobby's birthday? Or someone? We were just on the podcast. It was yours.

He goes, by the way, it's Alex's birthday and they're about to bring a cake in. We were two minutes away from bringing a cake in for a birthday. The joy in his face for ruining for it. People ask me. He literally opened up a Diet Coke,

took a sip, closed it, and then already grabbed it and goes, on the table with the Diet Coke to make it flat. Which he just did. For no reason, just to make it flat.

But he made hell. That was the best thing. When I started in comedy, it was the things that every comic would do. You'd have a slice of pizza, and you, you know,

it was for real. And Jay'd be like, oh, let me get a bite. And then you'd give him the pizza to have a bite, and then he'd fling it across the street.

And then he'd get a bag of treats. I don't know why that's so funny to me, though. It's so funny. You always rebuy the piece of pizza, but you've got to give him that moment. I tried to do that to Ian Fidance recently, and the way comedy has changed, dude, it was fucking crazy. He had a piece of pizza.

He was so happy. He's like, dude, they're giving away free pizza at this pizzeria on the corner. And I was like, oh, yeah? And I just smacked it out of his hands. That's a bear paw. That's how a bear eats yeah? And I just smacked it out of his hands. That's a bear paw. That's how a bear eats pizza. So then I smacked it out of his hands and it landed on his shoe.

And he was like, dude, what the fuck? And there was these two girls there and they're like, why would you do that? Nobody laughed and it just looked like I was the biggest bully in the world. Yep, yep, yep. Life has changed so much since like,

whatever, 2005? Yeah, that's like, we all had that friend who would hit you in the balls. You know that guy who'd be like, dude, you see my squirrel bite? You're like, what?

Boom! I, you know, I can't. No, they're referencing right now the ONA show. That was all my money and then he threw two dollars in the ground

and I had to pick it up. And the M&Ms were only $1. And you know what? I went back and bought M&Ms again. Lie detector test. Oh, God, that's good honesty. But I mean, what happened? People don't do that anymore.

The meanness. It'll come back. It'll come back. No, it won't. You don't think so? No. Let me tell you why I think it'll come back. It'll come back. No, it won't. I don't know, dude. You don't think so? No. Let me tell you why I think it'll come back. You can...

Your partner is suing me. What are you trying to find? I'm going to come back to meanness. It'll just find its way. Your partner is suing me for being too mean. Because it makes him laugh, and nobody's getting fucking hurt. Because what happens is, as long as everybody understands that we're all kidding around, that's how we deal with the insanity of luck.

It died with Patrice, dude. I'm telling you. It died with Patrice. The truth died with Patrice. No, because no one else is willing to be the voice of it. You're kind of similar too, Callan. Except Dave Chappelle, who's a horrible voice for it. No, Ryan Shouse is the only one.

He's going to be able to say whatever we want. I'm the best. And then Ryan Callan is going to be your partner. I think all of us are. Ryan Callan is kind of similar. I think that's your job. I think the best. And then Ryan Cowell's like, okay. I think all of us... Ryan Cowell's kind of... I think that's your job. I think at the end of the day, you're... Yeah, I don't think...

If you shy from that... I don't think it needs a Patrice. It's not like a top-down thing. I think it's a cultural thing where people... The sensibilities are being sort of worn down and worn away. We have a bunch of savages in our audience, but I think this is sort of a dying breed of comedy fan. What they're consuming

on television and they're consuming in podcasts and on radio, it's just sort of like a subliminal woke message. I find myself getting resistance to it. I don't think it's possible. I think it's fucking in the algorithms, it's in the media. When I thought it was over,

there was some show in LA where these guys do characters to host the show and It's in the media. When I thought it was over, there was some show in L.A. where these guys do characters to host the show and they're shock jocks. Right. I don't know the show, but I just know this girl did the show

and they brought her up and they kept saying something about her tits, her big tits. And when she came off stage, she went immediately, didn't say a word to them. Yeah.

Who were guys who were doing a character that might have been like, oh, I'm sorry. She just went on Twitter and was like, I don't know how I to them yeah who were guys who were doing a character that might have been like oh i'm sorry she just went on twitter and was like he's got i don't know how i feel about this like these guys they they did these shots and they brought me on stage and she kind of gave like a bad rundown of the story too just to say like they're doing uh yeah but they were like uh but they were like oh our tits are battling now nobody cares the third message it was somebody going like well at least give us their names so we can ruin them

and blast their social media and fuck up their career. It's like, fuck up their career? That's insane. And I was like, that's overdue because here's the thing.

Someone told me, I forget what it is, I wish I had more exact details on this, but someone said they were talking to someone who was like, they're going to fucking

cause problems for so-and-so this week. And they started some Twitter thing that was like so-and-so. And it was something that was easily squashed, but he was like,

look how much I'll make it. This guy, for a day, he'll have to find for a day that he's not a pedophile. Yeah, I fucking lived that. And I have friends that lived it. And what you do is,

the only thing you can do, you can't fight that. Just fuck a child. You cannot fucking fight that. I'm already paying the price. How about that, dude? No, wait, Lewis. I'm going to take it.

Lewis, you're over the line. But there's always, look, the more crazy it gets, the more oppressive that it gets, where you can't speak your mind and you can't even fucking joke. Let me tell you what happens. A whole marketplace like this opens up that wants to hear it. But we'll be bigger than the black market, though. That's what I'm saying.

I'm sorry? We'll be bigger than the black market, though. You don't need more than that. A subculture is enough. The black market has 19. A subculture. You know, if I was talking to Calvin,

I didn't choose to rape. And he said to me, you didn't choose to sell me. Well, I didn't. I don't know why I didn't. I don't know why I didn't. We're always outlaws. So right now,

people that speak their mind are the outlaws. Yes, it's dangerous. Yeah, you can get cancer. I'll say fucking anything. Or a tweet that's 10 years old. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day, you see that? And I told him to play the bear if I get too serious.

No, it's just right on time. Now I'd like to sing a song. We're taking back the Zog machine. Jew by Jew by Jew, the white man marches on. I don't endorse that. I don't know what that means. No, of course not. That's just the bear.

Resist. By the way. I'm a plant. By the way. Biden, 2024. Biden, Biden. Marissa Revis and her husband, who bought us this bear, everyone, just had a baby, everyone. Congratulations, Marissa.

Is that who bought us the bear? Yeah. Isn't that always the funniest thing in the world? Wonderful couple. The sweetest person. And probably fairly liberal. Yeah. I'd say very liberal.

I think Brian's more right than you guys are. I don't think that trends that are unsustainable, even when they're peaking, it's almost like you're in the housing market in 2005 and going, shit's going up like this, it's going to go up like this forever. You can't sustain it. There's got to be a crash coming.

Every time I say my daughter, my daughter's almost 20, and every time I say she's unaffected by this, and her and her friends are unaffected, everyone always says it because she's my daughter. It's probably not the trend. And she does say, though, that there are several people that she used to hang out with that she would never have brought to a show. Can I just say, let's move on. We're having a little dick competition.

We're talking about cancel culture. We're in the middle of the little dick competition. I'm talking heavy shit here. I'm with you, though. We're in the middle of the little dick competition. Lewis doesn't give a fuck. We haven't seen the second talent yet. We did a cancel culture soccer.

The whole time. Let's look at some little dicks. What are we doing, dude? Am I wrong or am I right? Come on, dude. Real quick. By the way, I'm more than happy. This is why China's winning, you fucks.

This is why China's winning. I'm more than happy to move back on to the little dick competition, but can I just point out for the record that 10 out of 10 times, Lewis starts these conversations and then goes, what are we doing here, guys? You started it.

I thought I was going to have an intellectual conversation. Before this guy shows his dick talent, let it be known that the Legion of Skanks will fight for the First Amendment and our right to say whatever we want to say

with minimal to zero repercussions. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger. No matter how irresponsible it may seem, no matter how little thought we put into these words. I will yell the N-word from the rooftops of New York City.

No, Big Jay, your voice is too shrill to lead a revolution. I'm not inspired. I need more baritone. Girls, pull out your snatches and let's ride! Don't say snatches. I thought we agreed. Cunts!

Pull out your cunts and let's ride! Don't say snatches. I thought we agreed. Cunts. Crap, smashed eggs. Pull out your cunts and let's ride! Big J, lead the way with your cunt. What an amazing intro to Jerry's talent. I'm getting the surgery now, dude.

Brian. The saddest thing out of this is Big J. You're like roaming through a retreat and shit shit he's a big unfunny faggot

I'm watching yeah on a second one in one day already I think I have to on what's the thing on I don't know the show porn or something I'll bring it back on don't worry I think I Big J the saddest he was whip patrician them they thought he was just somebody

but he I got he leveraged on with a fat dude with a fat dude, with a fat chick, or get the fuck some chicks on the road. And that's their existence. That's an odd existence to me. I get, they get to go on road to get new pussy one at that age

The traveling for killing the other it was me personally Just match. I was in Navy. I traveled around the world. Traveling around the world. The traveling part of getting new pussy. You know what I mean? Like I love new pussy. I get new pussy.

This new pussy is my own standard. I'm going to travel again. That shit is annoying. Damn, dude. He almost is annoying. Damn, dude. He almost fucking cracked your ass, bro. Sorry, guys. I had a fucking, you know, you know me. Dave, you guys really showed out right there. That was badass.

No, I'm saying, I was pointing out that he was, you said he was playing on easy. I go, it goes back to the thing. He's playing on expert. What the fuck is this? I couldn't. What is auto blow? Come on.

I mean, is that a rhetorical question? Because, I mean, it's right there in the name it blows you automatically i can't wait my fiance with my new baby i'm gonna be like these are the people i hang out with i don't i don't need you you put it on the table and it'll suck your dick is that right yeah i would never use this never i mean you know just just, I have a... Look at that mouth right there, dude. Oh. That looks like Big Jay's gunk, but smaller. Slightly smaller.

Sorry, buddy. I shouldn't, I'm making you insecure. No, I don't have a gunk. Should I put that down here as my gift? I'm aware. Lewis, no, that's not where it's at. What are these little... Oh, it's underneath your stomach.

Oh, it's there. Where's the light detector test? There it is. By my bird. There it is. You feel my gunk? You. Oh, it's there. There's a lie detector test. There it is. By my bird. There it is. You feel my blood. You want to feel it? No.

You look like you're a thick kid. You look like a ball player. Yeah, no, I'm thick. Lewis is getting in shape. How much weight? Is it going to be hard for you to get down to 195? No. I'll get down to 205 pounds.

Really? Yeah, a month before the fight. And then I'll start to cut. Water weight or fat? Both. Yeah? Well, no, it'll be fat. When Lewis goes for it,

he goes for it. I'm going to go for it. When Lewis gets in shape, he gets in shape. And when he gets out of shape, he gets out of shape. Not even really that much. It's just the transition.

You said you were doing it. It's called depression. Maybe. I think it's because I have a gluten allergy and when I eat, I just eat tons of fucking bread. I have a gluten allergy.

I hate the energy. Can you stop? Maybe I have celiac disease. I don't know. and when I eat, I eat tons of fucking bread. I have a gluten allergy. I hate the energy. Can you stop? Maybe I have celiac disease. I don't know. I love bro science, but have you been checked for celiacs? Lewis, the reason I don't believe it is because it's obvious you learned the word gluten three days ago. You learned celiac disease 15 minutes ago. That's all good.

You have celiac disease. Maybe. That's why I'm going gluten free. I'm getting ready to peel down. Are you going to do that? I do a lot of gluten-free shit anyway. If it's an option, I always get it. He does none of this. I've never seen Jay watch what he eats

for a second. Why are you lying to me? We spend zero time away from the show together. Wow. The truth comes out. Wow, you're fucking attacking our friendship now? Zero time, Jay? How about... Jay, you're going attacking our friendship now you fucking zero time how about

really Jay you're gonna say we spend zero time together away from this show how about the pre-show texts and the right after before I leave

I was checking with your gluten shit where are you coming at me today for dude that's the opposite of what's happening who's Calantir it's my influence

it's my star power it's fucking Calantir it's my it's my influence. It's my star power. It's fucking Callan to you? It's my D-level celebrity. Guys, you watch the Goldbergs or that TV? I'm paying it forward. He's giving me the gun biz, so I got to come at you hard. This guy does big parts of the movie.

Stop trashing his fucking gun. He's all mad at me. I'm sorry. Now I'm turning on Louis. I'm a huge fan of Big Jay's. I told him to put a special on fucking me. They're Callan right there. What's going to happen, bro?

What are you doing? What's going to happen? Like you're supposed to, by the way, do a special. You're bungling. Fuck yeah, man tears. If you guys like laughing really hard for 50 minutes, otherwise don't watch.

Do you want to do... Who's watched it? Who's watched it? Not bad, right? What do you think? I'm going to count a shit on them. All right, good. Dope.

I got dope. Fucking lazy. I got a lazy dope. That's good, though. That's who watches specials. You guys sit back and they go, nice. Yeah, that's true.

By the way, I'm the same way. I can't even. I had to edit it. I was like, I'm so sick of myself. And 50 minutes is too long in this TikTok world. It should have been about 15 seconds. 27 minutes, the perfect amount of time for a special. I think that's it.

How much? 27 minutes. I'll break it up. Really? I'm going to do about 40 seconds. Yeah, wait till I break it up, everybody. Wait till it's fragmented, you fucks. All right, last one.

Debo, number three. Yeah, wait till I break it up, everybody. Wait till it's fragmented, you fucks. All right, last one. Debo, number three. Yeah, Debo, show us on hard deck first, please. You stay on point, bro. Yeah, dude, I got to keep it going. I like your fucking... I like it. Or else Louis will break off into a conversation about cancel culture and then yell at all of us

for having the conversation. Hey, what do you guys think about the future of cancel culture? I think it's unsustainable. All right, enough! Moving on! Y'all are boring! Guys, it's a fucking comedy show.

Hey, by the way, we were just making the same points we always make every time. Then don't start it! You started it! Yeah, but we can't just go around making

the same points we always make. And I want to thank your lighting guy for fucking. Oh, wow. I can't do the questions. Maybe that question. Really? Really?

I'm counting. Nothing. That's good, I don't want any questions. About anything. Anything I want to talk about. Uh, you can't go to the flag. You can't go. We don't know.

We all have tickets for like, well, we go out. Itty-grindy here, and then on the vacations, the dudes get to do gigs, and fuck the chicks at the gigs so they're happy. They make 80 grand a year and they fuck.

Or I don't know, it's trash. But they did not. And he's in the most hardcore maximum security prison ever. And that's a whole premise of the movie. Oh, that's great. Oh, my God. What if Lewis has to take his face off and put it on another face of a prisoner? And then they forget that he is the guy in the first half and he doesn't get out and doesn't give you your face But I watched first

Loved it. I never went back to watch the second half and I bet it was dope. I saw it was a great So the whole thing great movie, you know what? I thought it was outstanding I got to hang out with him a couple times. Oh, really? I've never been. I used to go to his house and watch the fights. Oh, yeah, you take pictures. I love this.

I go to Stallone's house. I'm standing in a fucking circle with Schwarzenegger, Pacino, and fucking Schwarzenegger. And now you're here with us? Yeah, now I'm here. It's the same feeling. And Bill Burr walks by me. I'm just sitting there, like, trying to get in on the conversation.

He's like, I'm holding him. He's my fucking hero. Sure. And Bill Burr just walks by and he goes, you've been here for an hour already. Get over it. Just walk by. And I was like, I'm not over it. Fuck that, dude.

Fuck that. I'm not over it. Fuck Bill Burr, you seasoned bitch. Don't laugh at him. It's the fucking thing. It's like, get over it now. Sugar Ray, the minor showed up. Get over it.

Michael Strahan. I'd be so uncomfortable around all of those famous people. You'd be like a failure. You'd just be like a fucking failure. I like to have like Harrington and Bobby Hutch. Buddy, can I tell you something? You're not wrong. That's why I say it.

That's why Shane's doing fucking great with what's going on with Shane. Because Shane gets invited to Nick Diaz's house to hang. And he's like, hell yeah. If I got invited to the same thing, I'd be like, I'd lie, but I got to do radio in the morning, so I got to do it.

No, I was going to, I got invited to the after party. Jake Shields put me on the list for the after party. I know Jake, that's my boy. Shane, by the way, said he was going to put me

on the list for the after party, and then when he got there, he was like, hey dude, my phone's about to die, so if you're not here in like the next five minutes, I was like,

dude, I got Jake Shields to let me in the fucking after party, you piece of shit. Shane got Jake Shields to take you off the list for the after party. Bro. But Shields to take you off the list.

But I opted to not go because after parties and being around other dudes is gay. Yeah, well, you know what? Nate Diaz came to my show in San Diego, comes backstage, and gave me a personal boxing lesson. I was fucking producing estrogen the whole fucking time. It was so exciting. I think I have it on video somewhere. I think I put it on Instagram, but that was kind of cool. No, the point of that is... You know you put it on Instagram.

By the way, you know you put it on Instagram. I like you guys because I think it's on Instagram. I don't know. Maybe you guys can check it out. I have someone else do it. I'm going to... I have to do a little talk to Dez's mother-in-law. That has to be done. I'm gonna have to do a talk that does his mom. That fucking loser.

I'm gonna give her a talk and clean her out of the is it that. Dumb retarded cunt. I wish I would have to do that talk too. She won't accept it. Because the other didn't accept it. Now I'm gonna give her this talk and she'll be like no, my daughter, no that is mom. I'm gonna give her this talk and I think the other eight other faggots I got out of her ear, five of them in your family. I had to give you the time. I didn't think I had to give you the time. I was smart enough to not get to talk. She ruined the night. She was hard enough. And I will physically do it too. Meaning you need to talk and physically throw you out of my fucking life.

Uh-oh. Yeah, that dummy realized that too. Uh-oh. Um. It's a lot because he's so heavy. Yeah, well it didn't help.

I don't want to make it bad it didn't help it's in there it's in there bad lighting with is amazing the only body part you can't see though is this dick that's like a Bigfoot picture though yeah I was gonna say looks like the man in the grassy knoll. Let me show you. He goes, I guess there's a person there. Who's a lie detector, Ted? The grassy knoll guy. The grassy knoll guy.

Go ahead. Let's see his horn. Dave Bungle. This is great. Ryan Cowan. Oh, this one was sickening. It was kind of wet. I hated it, dude.

It made me want to puke. I hate his dick so much. It's so shiny. It's so shiny. Why does he shave his dick hair also? Don't do that. Oh, dude. It made me want to puke. I hate his dick so much, dude. It's so shiny. It's so shiny. Why does he shave his dick hair also? Don't do that. I know. I'm so fucking depressed.

This is brutal, dude. Grow your above dick hair. That is a wild, tiny little thing. I don't think the above dick hair is going to make a difference. It's not going to help, dude. I know, but why? It's not like he's super fucking tan. It's a whole bad idea.

Yeah, no, he's not tan. You know what? He's a disaster physically. That's correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think hair would help him? I think a little over the dick hair would help. Maybe.

Yeah, I do. I trim mine down. I trim mine down. My balls are bald, dude, but this is not a good look. All right, so let's see his talent. By the way, his dick makes me the most upset out of all of them. It looks so sticky. It looks sticky?

Yeah, it looks like the material of those things just stick to the wall. Yeah, it's a wacky... That guy's got a wacky wall walker dick. Whatever that feel would be, that's what his dick would feel like. I do. Oh, like fake pussy. Yeah, dude. Not good.

His dick feels like fake ass god let's see his talent i thought i thought he was wearing blackface on his stomach he's got a oh look at his little what is he doing no no no no no he's got to pull it out like that. What is he doing? What is he doing? No! No! No! No! What do you think the biggest challenge is? If there are no running college positions, such as on, so on, they would be the biggest challenge ever.

They're already of their position. What are a lie detector? Read it out. Well, at least you're not going to be able to find a liar. So, a lie detector. So I wanted to check this. I had some questions. But I didn't do anything wrong. Anyway, that was fun. I get... By the way, do you think they spoke horrible pussy? They're, by the way, they're shocked by it.

They're shocked by it. I'm gonna leave you. I'm gonna do something to fucking to put you down with it. The ugliest chick ever is Big Jay Oakerson's wife. I'm just kidding. The ugliest chick ever is Big Jay Oakerson's wife. I was a kid. His wife kind of loved her high up and I, because she's hideous but.

You have wrong count on. I'm gonna put this in. You have one calendar on. Then ask a one calendar question. How do you have one calendar? Ask no questions. There are questions. I, the interview I was also doing at a webinar now. Hmm. I, the only other ones that ended up winning are them. That's the other ones.

These bum ass niggas. They should have made it, but they don't really make it. They're just going to crash the faggot event at least the three of them get new pussy like two new chicks they don't get pussy as me and Jacob I don't think they do what is that? uh oh

these were those... Really? What is happening? I'm running count. Ask him a question. None of them asked. Zero. What the fuck is going on?

I don't know. No, dude. No. Is he shocking his dick? No. Please don't put it in. Why do we go to our head? No, no, no, no, no, no.

No. Please don't. No. God damn it, dude. That was big, dude. That was big, dude. That was big. That fucking thing. I mean, on that tiny dick, that was a really big thing to go in.

That was Debo. I mean, Debo, guys, can we have some celebration music for him, I guess? I mean, here he is. How do you top that on a show? Lewis, how do we possibly top that on a show? Lewis, how do we possibly top that on a show? Oh, yeah, Devo. Look, Devo's video. Let's watch him again.

No, God. No, Lewis. Devo got the golden ticket. Yeah. That's not how the song goes. Sounding. Big old Poe and his penis. Oh, my God.

Dude, he's pushing it deep. Sounding. He's pushing it further. Q-tipping out his penis. Oh, we didn't even watch this one. He's got a big old Poe in his dick. Let's celebrate. I think he's crocheting his dick

He's fucking his dick Oh now come on Let's celebrate There's a party going on Right here A big ol' wiener With a hole in it He's gonna put it in

It's inside his body By my math that thing Is way deep in his balls. Oh, he's pushing it further, dude. He's pushing it further. We didn't even get there, dude. That's coming out his butt with one more inch in. Celebration. What a sick fuck, dude.

Let's all celebrate and fuck all dickholes. Come on, Dave. It's time to work together coming out is even better to you what's your pleasure fat guy's wiener gave birth to a pipe i can't do do do yahoo that guy's gonna be in the front row of my special twice. V-Bo. Yes. VJ Ogren does a special. That's wild. VJ Ogren is in the front row.

Congratulations, V-Bo. You and one lucky lady, or male, whatever, get to come to Scaring Fest. Golden tickets. Skip the lines. He's the guy, dude. There it is. Alex, did that make you grab your pussy almost? Like, you could almost feel that, couldn't you?

No, he doesn't have enough color in his thighs. It did. Yeah, I gagged. Could you feel a sympathy pain of something going in your piss hole? Yeah, yeah. By the way, I will say honorable mention to Brad and Jerry, who were great throughout the competition, but, I mean, look, the better tiny dick won.

What can we say? One of you decorate your dick in Skittles in the dark. Now, have you guys had a big dick competition? That's a lot more interesting. I know. That's the next one. You would think that if you were a homo. But whoever has the biggest dick has to be last in line at Skagfest.

Bro, I'm just talking over here. I thought this was Skagfest. I thought it was free. The biggest dick contest is for the person who gets to get into the show last. You're fine. Yeah, fuck you, dude. You got a big dick ready. You don't get anything for that.

That's crazy. At Skank Fest, before all the shows, they go, guys, next show's starting. Please line up in dick order. Yeah. How funny would it be at Skank Fest to have a big dick contest, and we make the winner leave Skank Fest? There you go. It's funny to always say, you had to leave Skank Fest because your dick was too big.

That's what I'm talking about. We jumped them out. Yeah. I love it. You get big. We jumped them out. Yeah. I love it. You get excluded. You get exiled. Yeah. I mean, life is a biggest dick competition, and you get great prizes for having a big dick.

Until it's too big, right? Dude, when Dave decided, he goes, hey, you know what? I think I want to settle down and have a family. In two years, he's a family of five. That's what happens when you have a big dick, dude. Four kids? Four. Family of four. Oh, three kids. Two kids.

I have two kids. I said that. But it was all so fast. No one's paying attention. I was making more of the joke, but you had a family so fast from being, because he was like a big dick, and he goes, I'm going to do it this way now, and life fell into his lap. Yep.

Yep. I didn't make the decision. I didn't just go, oh, I'm going to have a family. I met the chick first, and then was like, I'm going to have a family. Full head of hair,

symmetrical face. She's not going anywhere. She's nonstop attached to this dick. Well, she can barely walk. That's what it is. You have kids, too. All of you have kids.

I'm sorry you lost them because of your little dicks. My dick isn't big enough to paralyze her. I came in the first girl that said I could. And then we had a kid. I didn't think that I could get somebody pregnant that shallow in a pussy. I don't get the questions. Louis, I'm pregnant.

Impossible. I came so shallow into your pussy though. I barely went in. Only the first shot got in there. Sometimes I do an impression of myself. Yeah, I'm a beatrice. That was my favorite Lewis logic, was there's no semen get you pregnant on the first squirt.

That's not what I said. What was it? Am I saying way worse? Lewis Croy said in pre-cum, there's no real semen in pre-cum, which is also probably true. Is that true? I know, I was kidding. I said what was it? I know I was kidding. I Made a joke on the show that you to this day taking literally yeah I said the first one you shoot There's no semen and then he was like no kidding, but you never really got that I remember the kidding part

It started with this gunk thing. I said his fucking outfit looks fantastic. He did. You know what? And then I started trashing his gunk and his hair. Yeah. I don't handle compliments well, dude. Every now and then I start complimenting and I freak out.

Like once every ten episodes, you two get into a thing that turns crazy real. You're like, yeah, Chad, I made a joke 15 years ago. My life has been a living hell ever since. Well, it's definitely nothing that a leg wrestle couldn't handle. Dude, I let you win that leg wrestle. I swear to God I did. You didn't let me win goddamn shit. I swear on James' life I let you win.

There was no winning or losing. You farted. I know. Dude, he was saying a win and lose. There was no win and lose. He was getting upset because I said I let him win. No, what do you want? What are you two doing? We're all friends. Why did you just say it that way? He was saying a win and lose. There was no win and lose. He was getting upset because I said I let him win. I know what he wants. What are you two doing?

We're all friends. Why did you just say it that way? I'm da-da-da. What are you doing, Dave? This asshole on my right. Fuck you, big dick fan. You see how you brought him together? I did.

That's how he brings him together. Oh, mister, I want a family. Snap overnight. My big dick makes it happen. And that was the end of Dave. Well, Jay is hammered. He's had six shots of tequila. He can't even sit at a table with us.

Apparently, that Rogan relationship is real. They said a lie detector. Never did it. I DMed Lewis asking about the lawsuit. Never did it. I DMed Lewis asking about the lawsuit. Never did it.

This was a shit show and shit appearance. What's happening here? What? Nothing was even asked. What? Hey, shut the fuck up, Tom. You're not part of this conversation. Who said shat, sash?

I'll tell you what. I think Tom could kick your ass. I think Tom could kick your ass because he takes fucking a pole in his dick, dude. He said he's into that. First of all, I'll beat the shit out of Proud Boy Tom with ease. You think so? With that fucking pipe in his dick. Tom, will you?

I swear to God, I'll dress up as Antifa. You dress up as a Proud Boy at Skank Fest, and we'll do a boxing match, exactly, because you're afraid of me. Yes, you are. Damn, dude, Philly dog, don't test him. So, yeah, here's the thing, Tom, I didn't appreciate you yelling out, but I do like the idea of a sash. No, the sash was great. It's a good idea.

It is a good idea. That's the point. Dude, you scolded him and then you brought him back into the hole. Can I do something? Maybe... Dude, this is called gaslighting in real time. Very impressed. If you don't know how to gaslight your employees, you don't know how to do anything.

How about the idea of a sash, maybe a... ...that everybody... I don't count. Wait, let me Let's go to the elephant A scepter and a crown Guys, you're probably wondering Why this guy's wearing a satchel and a crown on the front row

Probably a cape, right? Don't you need a cape? Listen, I say we decorate this guy like a fucking Christmas tree I think he'd let you It shouldn't just be you win front row Or all the shows You should have to be a jerk off at the same time he's gotta dress like a wookie

yeah a full fucking in the hot Las Vegas sun or just something that doesn't move like a fucking tree

you know what I mean yeah I just wanted to be dressed like something wacky in the front row it would be awesome of every show alright I love it

alright you win dude I hope it was worth it it must be it All right, you win, dude. I hope it was worth it. It must be. It's going to be. You win. Ask him any questions. Let's do plugs.

While we're doing our plugs, why don't we strap our friend Brian Callen to the lie detector machine? All right. Because they have to ask you control questions. Oh, no, no, no. Lie detector. They have to ask you control questions. This is an FBI-grade lie detector.

This is real real. Yeah, really. It'll say inconclusive if you're not sure. If you're not sure. It's weird. We've all done it before. Ari did it.

The RU Garbage guys did it. Mike Cannon did it. It's becoming somewhat of a tradition to come on the show and do the lie detector test, so we're very, very excited about this.

Let's do our plug-a-rooskies and get them out of the way. Do I have time to pee-pee out of my head? He's going to fucking run out of here. Plug, plug. Do your plugs first. I got lost. I don't know what happened. I just tested positive for COVID. I'd love to do it. Do all your plugs first and then go pee.

Manteers. Watch that on YouTube. And then I got my YouTube show Best Of where Tim Kennedy takes me through Special Forces training that's the latest episode and I will be at the San Jose Improv this weekend Thursday

Friday Saturday then I got Spokane Washington Spokane Comedy Club have you done that place the next weekend and then I got all those clubs that that guy owns are awesome then Tacoma Comedy Club right after that and that's all of September so get your tickets BrianCallen.com. Go pee, buddy. Go pee and then

they'll put you in. Go ahead, Lewis. Do your thing thing. Got a lot of stuff coming up, guys. Me and Aaron Burr continue to offend everyone to where we've been going everywhere. Thank you for everyone that's been coming out so far. It's been incredible. We'll be in Tampa this month, the 23rd through the 25th. Plano, Texas at the end of the month.

Philly at the end of October. Lots of other dates coming up as well. Magoobie said they want to have you guys. Talk to them. They said they want to have you. I love it. I'll hit them up. Yeah, I gave them all the info.

Remind me of that. So we're going to be going out everywhere. We're ending this tour at the end of January. So keep on checking lewisofskanks.com for tickets. Thank you very much. Also, if you love this show, subscribe to gasdigitalnetwork.com. That's the best way you can support this show is by subscribing. You get the on-demand library for the entire network.

We have like 700 episodes of Legion of Sanctity that are not available anywhere in the world except for on gasdigitalnetwork.com. All ad-free, uncensored, all in one place. One thing is fucked up with their ranking. You can access all the shows, pre-release and all the shows. They ask no questions. Which is an incredible experience if you're racist if you're not it's pretty dark yeah it's brutal if you're not racist you're not going to be

comfortable you will be appalled davy go ahead uh all right uh september 25th one night only i'll be at the creek in the cave out in austin texas two shows that night the shows are almost sold out so go grab tickets now they're going to sell out, I think, in the next few days. Comicdavesmith.com has the ticket links up there. I'm doing a bunch of podcasts. I said this is my month of doing big podcasts. Just did Tim Kast the other day. I'm doing...

See, you're right near me. And my God. Lackluster. Oh, I didn't say something. Someone in the audience... Lackluster. Maybe we would have hung out. That was a chance.

Da-da! Sorry. Yeah. Can't hang out with your retarded friend? I will be on Andy Frisella's Real AF podcast

in a few days. So I'm going to travel to do that. And then a bunch of other stuff this month. So you guys will all see. It'll be coming out soon. ComicDaveSmith.com

Part of the problem. Yo MMA Rap, all here at the Gas Digital Network. Love it. Thanks, One Real Fan. BigJayComedy.com for all my dates, tickets for all my shows. This weekend, everybody,

I'll be with Justin Silver and Dylan from Gas Digital at the Palm Beach Improv. West Palm Beach, I'm excited about that. Oh, yeah. You'll be with Justin Silver. That's exactly how Justin Silver told me it was going to happen. Oh, yeah. Justin Silver with Big J.

We had him on Bonfire today to answer for it. Did you really? Yeah, yeah. It's funny. Listen to the Bonfire, everybody. Five days a week, Faction Talk Series XM 103 with me and Dan Soder. This weekend, again, Palm Beach. After that, everybody, I'm going to be with Ari one night only

in Las Vegas at Wise Guys are you going to be there Louis? I am not unfortunately Louis is not going to be there but it's going to be fun I think Kim Congdon's

going to come hang yeah that'll be fucking awesome then I'm in Columbus the Friday and Saturday of that week Columbus, Ohio check that out

after that comedy on State Madison, Wisconsin only my second time there come check that out and then Orlando, Comedy on State, Madison, Wisconsin. Only my second time there. Come check that out. And then Orlando, Funny Bone, after Skankfest. And of course at Skankfest I'll be filming my special. Very fucking exciting. Kansas City coming up.

Miami, Florida. I'm all over the fucking place for the rest of the year. Ending up in San Diego for New Year's Eve. So fucking check all that shit out at bigjcomedy.com. And the SDR show right here on the Gas Digital Network. Yeah. Brian's getting his test questions. Yeah, his test questions. They have to ask him a few questions,

control questions, to figure out. Let's do one of these stories. Yeah, sure. What did Anthony Edwards say from the Timberwolves? And when did he say it? The season's not started yet. Anthony Edwards apologizes for homophobic language. Jay, they do talk off-season. Oh, shit.

Oh, it's like a tweet or something. I thought because they catch them now with all the cameras they have, they catch guys all the time after the thing being like, what's up, faggot? Or, you know what I mean? Or, like, the N-word and shit. They catch them all. And now they're getting in trouble for it, which I think is pretty shitty.

What do you mean? Because it's always happened. But now the camera is like when people at home can see them mouthing, like the players mouthing, like, fuck you, motherfucker. Like, they're getting in trouble for it. Right. Like, fine.

That sucks. I mean, you know, I think it's... There's only one person sadder than Kumia, and it's Lucio Gomez and J. Oakerson and Dave Smith. They're the ultimate sad faggots. The last people paying for a network. They're the saddest niggas on earth. At least Komi made millions, but they never made millions. I saw Luis G. Gomez ask me, we're friends,

and he was like, I'm gonna take this garage and move it and I was like, you know you're renting it, I was gonna own it. But they don't know they're friends. garage and I think I like either your renting hours you know own it but they don't know the difference Legion of skanks is the dumbest both non funny it's my first hour shooting in I don't even get to think about that thing. All I get is a stand up gig, but... Cowan's is gone, it's done.

You know my detective test. They asked me to ignore one day. They're happy. They ask a girl one day. They're happy. They're content they're not hungry. They're not hungry. I get it. We just can't get out hungry.

We're gonna fight for everything and get everything. Then Callan, the lie detector thing that happened. Another guy named Callan. The dummy dummy and dummy and fucking dummy chick and being on the road where they don't make that much money. The failure of them is, um, it would, by the way way all the chicks associated with

Lucy Gomez and Biggie Oglesey other chicks with them they don't have to hit the road to make money from the network and their thing what you do on the road? To fuck other chicks. And the thing. But the, they fuck ugly chicks too and they're married

to ugly chicks and they're trying to, I don't get it. Like, I picture being Luis G. Gomez and it's sad. Because I'm friends being Luis G. Gomez, and it's sad. Because I'm friends with Luis G. Gomez in real life.

And they rented a house. And they tried changing the garage, because the nigger rented a house. You know, you don't know the change. You don't know you're renting. It's sad. Well, a woman in their own life has to be the saddest. If you're a chick and you fuck Dave Smith or Luis Gomez or Eddie Oakerson,

you must be the saddest chick on earth. These niggas are not making money doing standup. It's gonna road to where the it is. And it, I don't know what to say. But my God, that was a Brian Callen thing. Whoa. I'm in shock they've been going through that much. I get their facts and they're like, we took our own thing, we didn't escape.

Wow. You see all those, had Brian Cowan on. Another court of law, they ain't even controversial doing their own thing. No quotable or anything. But they're so lazy, like, took the wrong calendar and we'll do a stand-up and some overweight white chick will fuck me in the audience

so I get to do my thing. That's all they care about, apparently. And they send out gigs. There's some white chick in the audience. They'll fuck them. They have no importance in doing a proper interview in any way, shape, or form. They're Brian,

did they ask Brian Kylan a question? I missed it if they did. On Twitter they didn't like it. They didn't do that, they didn't do anything. They had Brian Callen and nothing. Because they were entertaining or funny. And their goal is not to entertain or funny, but to do stand up gigs,

because they get pussy at the stand up gigs. They're only gonna leave us things. Their goal is to become big on the internet. And we're gonna get pussy in our life when we get gags. And the trick of the thing is, we got Ron Cowan, who did an amazing video, and he didn't do it cause they're too hard on the pussy to get.

When they're in Phoenix or some fucking state we're already in. Ugh, it's disgusting to me. You're that interested in local pussy? My fucking god. Ryan Canales thinks now a sound drop. Holy shit. That sentence is nothing. Nothing.

You ain't got pussy, pussy I'm talking about business wise business wise what the fuck was that they suck and they stink what the fuck was that and Ron Callen and there's no

quit from it there's no clip from it. There's no clip we can play from it. We're on Callan, no these things, no clips. No daycare. No fight doing stand up and ask them whatever. And they dick suck or whatever. Ugh, I don't know. They got their goal accomplished.

They got their goal accomplished. No, they got their goal accomplished. And they dick sucked. And they started on coming in and dicking. I guess. There goes. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. We played it live. We watched it live earlier. Nothing happened. After nothing, something happened. And my food is here. I'm trying to talk to you. I'm not actually, I can go eat my food right now. I'm trying to check That was sad. That was. Nevermind, I counted. Why'd you tweet out you didn't want to lie detector thing?

You know, I didn't do it. It's over. It's done. They're not live anymore. Rich, you suckers off. I'm a sucker, don't I? We wish they'd go as... Oh, they're like, we're still in the games. We're on the night, we're still getting in, we're on the road, we're on the road, selling no ticket in, that's it, all right, that's out to you, niggas. Watch that.

Because you guys, he's a good person. There are other people to hate. There are so many other people to hate. Get the fuck out of here. No, we, first of all. We do not, by the way, I very much like Brennan Chopp. Thank you. Every time I've met him, he's been lovely.

I've met him a couple times briefly, but he sent me a fucking, like, really nice message after the last time I was on a movie. Come on. I was like, hey, dude, really loved your appearance. I was like, thank you. I very much appreciate that. He's good people.

He doesn't think Lewis is funny, though. He did. He said that in the message, which was so weird. He goes, loved you on Rogan, Lewis isn't funny. And I went, thank you. Was that last part necessary? And he just replied back, yes.

Yes, it was. A resounding yes. He's unimpressed with you. I only met Brendan one time at the Comedy Store, and he was a very, very nice guy. Look, I think we've made jokes on the shows. What's funny is that you see people online, for whatever reason, and part of it's because he kind of like,

look, he fast-tracked in comedy. You put that on me. No, no. That's not Rogan. People put that on Rogan. Hey, this is the guy. That guy, he went from being a fighter. He didn't fight for long.

He was a football player. And then he gets in a cage where they would lock it and fight other monsters. And then his dream was always to be a fucking comic. And I'm the guy. I'm the guy that made him do that. I'm the guy that put him there. You stupid asshole. Get him!

People say like Rogan, Fast Track. Get the fuck out of here. Dude, I get it. I would tell a hot chick that she'd be a great comic if she's flirting with me. You think I'd be funny? I'm like, so funny. Don't bet against that motherfucker. Don't bet against him.

But my point is that I think that almost like breeds like people kind of hating you. You know what I take a little bit against him. But my point is that I think that almost like breeds like people kind of hating you. You know what I mean? When you get fast. Yes. Always. He's also beautiful.

He's also bigger and stronger. I love this. Like the people online, like you see like the fucking like random internet fans who are like, yeah, Brennan Shaw fucking sucks.

And you're like, dude, he's a fucking heavyweight fighter, millionaire, successful person. Like relax a little bit. Like just chill out. Oh, here's the bit. There are other people where hate could go. Most comics put it... Here's the thing.

This is what happened with him. Most people put in a decade in. They put out a special. He did it two or three years in. Nobody's going to have a good fucking comedy special in two or three years in. It's a fact. Nobody here, if we were to put out a special in two or three years, would have put out something good. He shouldn't have done that. You guys, as his friends, failed him.

Annie Letterman never sucked my dick in a truck. She never, he never, look, look, look, that's a whole bullshit thing too. Look, the guy, at the end of the day, this is a guy who does everything he can. He's trying to make himself better every fucking day. I love people like that, but I also love him. So if the world's against him, I'm right knee to knee

with that motherfucker. That's my brother. That's my brother. That I fucking respect. That's my brother. And I love him. And we honestly, honestly, everyone here, like I said, I met him.

He was a really, really nice guy. I feel bad because I think like the thing is because we've made jokes and you know, I created Crack Amico who made an entire song. It is class. I think the perception. It's a lot of Lewis a little bit of once crack Amico was created there was no raining I have no problem at all with Brennan at all literally at all I've met the guy one time I think it's kind of funny to make

the joke you're not supposed to make and that was the elephant in the room especially with like Rogan like the whole joke is that you can't make fun of Brennan Shaw because then you're out of the Rogan sphere. And I'm currently out of the Rogan sphere. Me and Lewis are way out. You guys are? Oh my God. Remember where they put the Phantom Zone where they put General Zod in Superman 2? If Earth is Rogan, we're floating in a mirror in space.

Really? Hey, you remember when I told you? This is awesome. Hey, you remember when I told you- Thank you.