The Yewneek Pod - Reupload: Bryan Callen goes on Legion of Skanks and gets roasted?!! Anthony Cumia getting sued again?

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

(Reupload because of Swab strike):The fighter and the kid host and comedian joins the LOS crew to chop it up. They roast Brendan Scahub and Bryan. Did Luis J Gomez troll yewneek about lie detectors? Anthony Cumia responds to yet another lawsuit threat , this time from Greg "opie"Hughes. Yewneek also contemplating having a sitdown with the dreaded mother in law. Time for some ultimatums?

But wait, is that... So So So I'm out. What is good welcome to the live stream don't forget to like subscribe and donate the preferred way of donating is hitting the streamlabs link in the chat. What's good what's up? Maddubs on warzone they got rid of sticks and stones I'm heated but I played this shit out of it kind of know I'm not gonna get rid of it. Madcrowndubs on Fortnite, cause my cousin called out of work. Brian Callen is on Legion of Skanks. I DM'd Luis J. Gomez and I said, hopefully you'll be asking Kalin a question about the lawsuit.

He said yes. And right now they started earlier than I thought they were. I thought I was going to start at nine, but Kalin's on there now. Let's check it out for right now. Yeah. I mean, everybody wants to be part of something in the community, so it's kind of like there's an intimacy. Two things that are most rare are intimacy and adventure.

Those are the two things that we don't get enough of. And that's why I like this. Now Lewis, he has it in spades, dude. This guy's always on an adventure. I'm getting lost in your eyes. Intimate adventures, that's all I do. It's Lewis' whole life. You've never been to Jamaica, have you?

You're gonna fight Alex? I'm gonna. That is an intimate adventure. If he knocks me out, he's going fight Ellis? I'm gonna. That is an intimate adventure. If he knocks me out, he's going to eat my butt. It's gonna be an intimate adventure. Let me ask you this, maybe you can't say it. Are you gonna go, are you favoring wrestling or are you gonna stand and bang?

I am planning on just throwing head kicks. The whole fight. In the air. Nonstop head kicks. In the fucking air. Louis, before we get into anything, I wanna get this out there in the world because I think it's a fantastic idea. And I said it on Bonfire Day,

but I wanna bring it here, because we talked about it was, I've been watching that show 60 Days In, brand new, and you should be on that show. What's the show 60 Days In? They take civilians, and you basically go undercover in jail for 60 days. Oh, I've heard about this.

But no one knows except two of the men. All right, so I did babble about this. Let me give you some. Quick backstory, Lewis said they're going to put Brian Cowan on a lie detector test and ask him a bunch of shit. You're live via satellite.

Yes, this is on their website. Their chat's not working now. But yeah, I texted Lewis or I DMed him and said ask him about the lawsuit. So that question will be asked. I wonder what they're going to say about it. Right now, countless babbling. We got to play. Comea did a nice opie bashing. I got a bunch of shit to say about that as well.

My breakout life. You know what I think about with jail, I swear to God, my biggest fear, the food, can't get good coffee, or fresh produce. Yeah, yeah. For my skin. I mean, it's the nonstop raping. That's a problem.

I can't go gluten free in jail. That's my new thing, by the way, is gluten free. Yeah, you can't do gluten free. You're gluten free now. I'm gluten free now. For how long? You're gluten free? For like three days.

No, after I went to Italy. Warden, warden! I've been G free for three days. Are you prepared to break that streak? Dougie, I will have to went to Italy. Warden, Warden, I've been G free for three days. Are you prepared to break that streak? Dougie, I will have to go to Italy and do a little bit of research on why I didn't get fat after eating nothing but pasta and pizza for a week.

Gluten. It's all the fucking, dude, I have a massive gluten intolerance. Every time I eat gluten, it feels like there's a big fucking rock in my stomach. I gotta shit my brains out. So is there not gluten in the pasta and pizza over there? There is, but it's not poisoned like that.

It's not poisoned the way I was thinking. You know what I heard? This is why. This is the reason. Because when they make the pasta, when they make bread in Europe, they use active yeast cultures. So it's sourdough.

So it's- Yeah, they're just babbling right now. I'll pick it up when they really get into it. But... The Zoom episodes really suck. I didn't think they were going to start until nine. A little shocked they started this early and then play an hour of fucking music on the lead up.

But, um. This lie detector thing sounds like it could be good. It should be. And. Like I said, I DM Lewis and Lewis said This lie detector thing sounds like it could be good. It should be and Like I said, I DM Lewis and Lewis said he's gonna ask him about the lawsuit. So But how was your Monday Like I said, my cousin called out a fucking work cuz he was like fuck that He only works four days a week. I guess he's going to do a three day a week, but he only pays $600 a month rent.

So he makes enough to do that. Single guy in a studio in Maine. Shut the fuck up. Tell me to clear my voice The hop ah that was another episode of this season I didn't like the hot pepper episode of Cobra Kai My butthole chin, I have a Tom Brady chin. All of that. She's Danny Harrington.

If you realize who she's spreading her legs for, you would also join in on this. There's got to be a wonderful picture of him or something of him. And then the main thing we want to cover yet. How much is the studio in your area? I have no idea I found a Big issue to burn my area who has a studio who I might contact just to use his studio Because he's got a studio set up and I would like to do a couple of things there in Providence so see how that goes and he's interviewed people right now and shit it's a black hood thing now so you just kind of figure

it out and the Baba boo each in. Oh, enough of the Lewis. Yeah, like I said, when they question Callan and shit, and the lie detector bit will get into it. I'm glad they're starting early, though. I thought they were gonna start until 9. going to start until nine. Having me live at Skinkfest, why would that be cool? I think to use that studio, like anytime someone comes into Providence, I can imagine me interviewing like a Jim Norton or Tim Dillon.

In that studio space, that dude has, that's all I would use it for. And I'd split whatever came from it 50 50 with him. And like the dude, he has over 300,000 subscribers, but you get like 10,000 views a video. So like he's got a channel. It doesn't really make that much money for them though, at least now. But they own other shit too, I think. I think they own like a club in Providence and shit.

They're mainly like a music channel. coach them on some separate shit that I want to do. I know nobody wants me to interview them. They're all fucking petrified of me. Although I'm a great interviewer. I interview people amazingly. I turn into a vegetable. Cervera, even you're Spanish. All the bread and child defenders are Spanish dudes, why? It makes no sense.

are Spanish dudes why it makes no sense oh fucking I can't remember the channel name Sutton Club name I just found them today and I can't even remember the name really. Could they dropped a clip on Twitter of a huge fight at a restaurant in Providence and I know one of the dudes in the fight. No, not that channel. No, I never hang out with Mike from Redbar. No, it would have nothing to do with their style of fanbase. I just want to use their studio. And I'm fitting with their style of fanbase because, like I said, the niggas I interviewed I know, if I really looked into it, I probably know the niggas because we're so small.

You know what I'm saying? were so small and shit pre or post learning let's see when it goes it'd be after their late show so Who replaced Theo? Nobody. One of those faggots he pays daddy's money for in the background. What Nick? Producer Nick? Those losers. I am black enough to use this studio the dude who runs its Cape Verdean just like me so trust me he's heard what you said

to dummy We don't allow rape in Rhode Island prison. Fucking Dave Chappelle story, I love that. James is going to do a special with no jokes, all Serious in 25 years, tell him the story of that. All Serious, a one man show, for sure. My daddy drove me to this. It's called Eddie, that's his stepdad's name. It is. James S. Gomez, Eddie.

Eddie was there to pick up the. All right, get to the Brian Callan bit already. Cause I'm about to play the Cumeat thing. Cause I think it's gonna take them a minute to get into the Callan thing. But he wasn't around a lot before that either. But listen to me. No, he was around, not me.

I have never met a fucking comic that doesn't have some misfittery in his past. You gotta have some dysfunction. Yeah, yeah. You gotta. I don't, I think like. You have rapes. Hearing that you have to like yourself,

I fucking disagree. You gotta have a deep sense of self-loathing because then there's a hole that you never fill. Well definitely to be a comic. Yeah. Like if you. But most things, like most people that are interesting. If you're content.

Yuck. Well also like most, yeah. You gotta compensate, you always gotta be compensating. I mean I wouldn't be this muscular if it wasn't for my fucking problem. So. So. So.

You gotta ask yourself lady, do you want these abs or do you want a guy who's stable? I wish that. That's the question I ask every time, bro. You understand me. Hell yeah. You fucking understand me. I ask the same question and I hope they ask the other way.

I wish my, my. I could act stable for a while. I wish my pain manifested itself by doing ab work. That'd be awesome. Oh my God, I know, it's like, yeah, I'm all, when I'm frustrated, it's gotta go work out. I just, I just eat by myself. Yeah.

Yeah, fucking Cool Ranch Doritos in a hotel room alone? I wish. Is that weird? What's that? Did you eat Cool Ranch Doritos at 2 a.m. in a hotel room by yourself? No. Is that weird? Have you ever done Cool Ranch Doritos with ranch dip? It's like ranch overloaded rules. No, but Cool Ranch Doritos with regular salsa. With regular salsa? FaceTime in there. Yeah, salsa. You don't do a ranch dip. I'll describe it to you so you don't have to eat it. Yes. I think that it's funny because dysfunction is also kind of sexy, you know what I mean?

Like there's a huge, there's a fucking huge gulf between the people you want to have sex with sometimes and the people you want to have kids with, you know what I mean? At least until you mature, like me. But when you're younger, it's like she's got a bat tattooed to her face, track marks, sign me the fuck up, you know? Those are the girls.

I'll give you a drawer in my house, I'll give you a drawer. That's it, that's where I draw the line. One drawer. And then they're living. I'll give you a drawer in my house. I'll give you a drawer. That's it. That's where I draw the line. One drawer. And then they're living with you. It is a different thing though. I remember like when I was younger, it was just about how hot she was.

And part of how hot she was was a little bit how crazy and damaged she was. It's like a hot thing. And now that like I've had. Yeah, but they don't really have all that. They haven't gone to a lie detector bit and then asking them about the lawsuit question bit. I think they're gonna come out of that they haven't gone to lie detector bit and then ask him about the lawsuit question bit I think they're trying to get him drunk because he's drinking. I think I see I

See their thing. Hey, this is a normal show. You're on keep drinking. We'll babble out whatever and Then we'll get into it. Hopefully that's their plan and then we'll get back to the cow. And I'll fucking have like a desert eagle on me. A bear's gonna jump. Oh, you fucking shit. Like, ah. I'm like a caveman. I have to kill animals to survive taking my garbage to the curb.

And by the way, a lot safer than New York. Still safer than New York City. The bear won't try to rape you, as far as I know. Yeah. I did see that movie with Leo DiCaprio. Looked like the bear was raping him. That Revenant movie was terrible. And how that's the Oscar you got it for is beyond me.

Yeah. Revenant. But it's a whole different way of life. I get it. But I'm geared for it. I'm set up for it. Revenant was terrible. But these guys do everything. They put in retaining walls and the fucking studio, pool house, entertainment center outside the pool itself, the fucking... They do everything. They oversee it. So I just have to win a few sessions of Blackjack. And I'm set. One thing that scares the living shit out of me, financially, I'll be honest, these upcoming lawsuits from the likes of Stuttering John

and Greg Opie Hughes, I am petrified that they're going to take everything I've worked my whole life for. You may have heard Stuttering John Melendez has put it out online without even trying to hide it, that he would sue me if I even have enough money. He won a Sharon Stone lawsuit for $30,000 back in the 90s, and that ended his lawsuit victory streak. But he insists he can sue me for calling him an idiot and saying that he's a horrible father

and saying that his children are mentally ill because of his horrible job as a dad. So I'm sitting on that. And then over the course of, since Thursday, news broke that another person, Greg Opiehues, wants to sue me for saying he's mentally ill. I think that's proof you're mentally ill. If you want to sue someone for calling you mentally ill, I think you're mentally ill. I really think that fits the criteria.

This guy, I swear to you, I fucking swear to you, I don't even want to talk about him. I don't want to every fucking day now have to address this guy. And I can not do it. I could just not acknowledge this. But I know fans of the show like transparency. They like the fact that I do discuss these things that come up. And I just feel compelled to just kind of answer what I'm seeing going on with OP. Do we have the clip? Here we go, let's play the whole clip. what I'm seeing going on with with OP.

Do we have the clip? Here we go. Let's play the whole clip. You know, I swear to you, this is I'm not even joking. He continues with that. I will sue him. Okay, pause for a minute. I'm not even close to that.

That's what it says. Kumia says you're mentally aisle. All right, that right there. I think I think I could hit the judge with that one. I said he's mentally aisle. All right, that right there, I think, I think I could hit the judge with that one. I said he's mentally aisle. I don't know what he's talking about. Is it true? Now, here you go. There's this guy, Chris Dow. I don't know who he is. I don't know what he does. But how can Opie not see that? Kumeya says

you're mentally ill. Is it true? Is that true? How do you not know that's a troll? If he just said Kumia says you're mentally ill, how do you answer that? But saying is that true? Is a troll? He's fucking reeling you in, you fish I'll sue you I'm not a

fish I have lungs and breathe oxygen I sue you in a Kanye from so far by the way that's a great he lives in a shack in Harlem and he's using it. I will sue you. You can't say that. Let's continue. And I will sue him over that. And then let's let them, let's see what's going to happen. Pause one more time here. Well, not one more time, but I'm going to pause you. What happened to your eyes? You're slithered and it, it,

Oh, B doesn't even have Asian eyes. Opie has some, how can you look outside of those eyelids? He needs a rink surgery, but how do you see out of those tiny slits, my nigga? The sewing thing. I remember saying this as a child in elementary school. You'd say it or you'd hear it from someone else. You're an idiot. Dad's a faggot. You're this guy. You're fucking that guy.

You're on my property. You're this. You're fucking... You're right. I'm gonna sue you! I'm telling you. Suing, yelling you're gonna sue someone, threatening to sue you. I'm telling you. Suing, yelling you're going to sue someone, threatening to sue someone. First of all, you don't threaten to sue someone. You sue someone.

That's how it works in the real world. Anyone that's filed a legitimate lawsuit against someone files the lawsuit. They don't go, hey, one more time and I'm gonna sue you. Don't do it. No one does that. Who is the fucking comic? He made a bit of it. It was a bit of it. Oh, he would do the we are the World fucking impression at the end of the... Kevin Meany? Kevin! Kevin Meany.

We are the world! Thirty years later, he was still doing that bit. A banana Kevin Meany. He was very good. He was a funny guy. But that was a bit of his because it's so funny to say you're gonna sue someone. And he used to do a bit where his mother would bitch about anything Kevin did because we're gonna get sued for it.

You can't say that, Kevin. They'll sue us, they're gonna take the God damn house. That was always it. They're gonna take the God damn house. What are you doing up there with your jacksaws? Take the house. I'm going to sue you. Because Kevin grew up then and knew as children,

the worst thing that someone could say is, I'm going to sue you and take the house. And it left this impression of your family out in the cold without even clothes because someone sued you. It's juvenile, and it's retarded. And of course, stuttering John and Greg Opie Hughes are the two people right now that want to get litigious with me because they fall into the category of stupid and or

retarded and childish. So I was kind of I was kind of like taken aback by the Gregster for threatening a lawsuit. But he did hear a little more Greg Ope. Literally, literally, I work with two insane people and then they're the ones that are gonna try to spin it that I'm meant to pause do you see what he just did there literally insane he just called me and Jimmy literally insane. And he's suing me for saying he's insane. I don't know if you can do that. I don't know what he means because he is making himself

now open to litigation because you know how crazy I am with suing people. I don't think I've ever said I'm going to sue somebody. I've never sued anyone either, but I don't think I've ever said like are you I'll sue you. Upster because I was brave enough to talk about a mentally ill mom because a lot of people go through life with someone in

their family someone close to them that is mentally ill. So I'm like, you know what? I'm going to relate to the people and tell them that I had a really hard time with a mentally ill mom. Pause. Again, making it about him himself kind of a, you know, I had a mentally a mom I ain't grabbing shit first of all she's still alive the boss she's able to conduct her life I guess she's able to you know she's not a facility or anything I think I think Opie probably saw a lot more that it was mental illness than it really was. Now, he's probably fucked up a little bit. I met her a couple times seemed a little off, but nothing crazy. Nothing like you

know, eight years of a mother going downhill with Alzheimer's. Who did that? Oh, I did. Opie. Like, yeah, your parents get old and shit happens. What are you gonna do? But for this guy to think like, because I was brave enough, please, please understand this. Nothing I said about you being a mental patient, Greg, had anything to do with your mother being or not being a mental patient, Craig, had anything to do with your mother being or not being a mental patient.

Just didn't. I call you mentally ill because I experienced years of your mental illness. Years. As the co-host of the Opium Anthony show, I saw shit that only somebody with a severe mental illness would do. And that was you.

I honestly believe you are mentally ill. Can I expect a subpoena as a process server? Are they lined up at the door between you and stuttering John to sue me? Nothing to do with your mother. Why would you even bring that up? I was brave enough because I was brave enough to talk about my mother.

If your mother was mentally ill and you conducted yourself in a sane manner that people that can work and play well in a society, in a group of people. I would never have said that you're mentally ill. You see? Has nothing to do with your mother. Why would you bring your mother up? Oh, because you're mentally ill.

That's why you'd bring your mother up? Oh, because you're mentally ill. That's why you'd bring your mother up, instead of taking some responsibility for how you conducted yourself in a working environment with other people. Why doesn't anyone that worked with you talk to you? Because his mother had mental issues is that it. Is that why Jimmy won't talk to you. Sam

Travis any of the comics that were on the show is that why they won't talk to you, you know, I love the guy he was whatever the Is that why they won't talk to you? You know, I loved the guy. He was fun. Whatever happened to Sherrod Small? Fun and funny, so reasonable and sensible, but his mother was nuts.

I'll sponsor an AA. I'll have nothing to do with them. An NA, I'll help you if you want. No. You really wanna take this to court? Are you a hot chick? Wanna suck my dick? You stopped on a homeless man's gate. Who does

that? You threw poker chips at a poor person that was bringing them in as a gift. Who would do that? A mental patient. Unless of course you realize it's for the show. Fucking guy. fucking guy but I'm here to say and I'm gonna say it again I'll say it again how do you see out of these eyes it's like a face-own shot little slits cut with razor blades how are you seeing out of these? It was something that worried me and the rest of my siblings so we've all been checked out for all sorts of stuff and I'm clean as can be. Pause.

What? There. First of all, there's no test for mental illness. There's no test. OP John. COVID. Let me swab your nose. I want to see if you're bat shit crazy There's no test for nuts Do you see what happens when first of all okay? Let's say someone commits a horrific crime Hey guys, and the lawyer goes my client is nuts What's the first thing they do?

All right, we'll have them assessed by a team of psychologists and psychiatrists, mental health experts. And then the defense goes, yes, and we will too. We're going to have our own people check him out and see if he's nuts. Then the state comes on and goes, Your Honor, here is the testimony of our mental health professionals and their conclusion is that this man is completely sane and he could stand

trial for the crimes he committed. And the defense comes up and goes your honor We have a paper here from our Psychologists psychiatrists that say he's batshit crazy Just give him the test Just test him like Opie was tested in his family that seems to be a definitive test for lunacy How do you say something like that? How do you get in front of 12 people and say that you've been checked out for any kind of mental illness, your whole family, and you're fine, because your mom, it's not like fucking some disease, oh my mom got it, let me check it out.

Like maybe some markers for things like Alzheimer's, sure. Go in, check, cancer. There have been women that have gotten double mastectomies with nothing showing yet because their mothers and aunts and everyone went through breast cancer. So they knew they had genetic markers for it. Because there isn't a test that says you will definitely get it. There's a percentage thing, but that's something very physical. They can see markers in your DNA to say you've been. What does that even mean? You know, says that mental patients says that.

There's no mental illness in this head, and I'm sorry to say. I got some touches of some weird things, and that's about it. Yeah. It's a very serious thing in my family, and we've all have gone through some things to make sure we're OK. And it turns out, guess what? We're OK. Sorry to say.

Oh, he's just the worst. Thank God. I don't have to see his stupid fucking gravel face anymore. Thank God. Oh, he said one of the greatest days of my life, knowing I didn't have to do that gravel face walk in that studio anymore with a miserable person. Pause. Who just wants to... What? You can look at any show. You do that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that I swear to you, I could parade people in here that worked

with the Opie and Anthony show and sit them down and in seconds ask them a very quick question. Who was the miserable person walking into that studio on a daily basis. And I swear to you, without any type of coercion, every single person would say Greg Opie Hughes was the miserable person that walked into that studio. Now look, I'm not fucking saying that on an occasion, everyone had their shit, shitty days. Bad mood, you're going through some shit, whatever it is. But that was part of, that's part of life. The thought of walking in there miserable because you're just a miserable person,

there was one guy that would do that. The very same checked, Greg Opie Hughes every fucking day was miserable. A miserable person. And he could pin that on me or Jimmy or anyone else. Again, that's something a mental patient does when the fact of the matter is you're miserable and you're making a miserable work environment for everybody that goes in there wanting to have a good time. Why weren't we miserable when he wasn't there?

There are some shows known as nopey shows, organic no P shows where he actually wasn't there. Not the ones they edit. Who would I hate the no P shows. I get the bit of shit. I got, Oh, you were doing an Opie shows. I don't like them. It's dumb. Oh, we did server purpose.

Don't do no P shows. Edit out. I get it. Edit out someone. Why are there edited versions of the Opie and Anthony show where Opie isn't in the show? They've cut out every word he said because they only wanted the miserable people on the, is that it?

Holy shit. The Nopie shows are so funny because you and jim mother they're not that funny. I mean you're so miserable and he was a hoot I just don't like the nobody is Get it the guy is Absolutely delusional fever. He absolutely has this false memory of Everything that went on which I believe is a type of mental illness we all never understand yeah we can rank on the hundred times to be fucked up a

bit whenever we get the credit for their 10,000 times, he created a bit and saved it from moving on to something else. I'm no everything every podcast needs right now. A dude to say stop talking about this and talk about something else. So I can't really say it's a thing you you never get. Holy mother of God, dude. Nobody knows you're gonna. That's happening. You're gonna sue me for saying you're nuts. Is there any more of the Gregster left?

According to tell people about prepare crap with everybody around them. How many current fights? How many current problems does the guy have? Thank God. Thank God I don't have a real job. Thank God I don't have that income coming in that we had with the ONA show. I couldn't be happier that I have to park my truck on the street and get the mirrors knocked off of it in the middle of the night because I've had to cut corners and can't afford the parking

garage at my fucking building on the Upper West Side anymore. Thank God! Thank God for that. Thank God when that bill comes in for my kid's private school and whatever my wife shops for and the taxes on my Hampton's house and Upper West Side apartment. Thank God I have zero income coming in. I have zero money coming in.

Unless you want to count a dollar from fucking Sandy from fucking Saskatchewan. Holy shit. The guy is mental. I'll leave it right there. In closing, I will say, Opie is mentally ill. There you go. Expecting your subpoena. Yeah. And he is mentally ill. Yes, he is. I grew up coming here. Alright, so Callan on Lena skinks. Have they gotten to the bit yet? On Ari's a cock. I like you know what I always remember about Ari that the reason I've always loved Ari is because I was we did a Rogan where we both opened for him long, long time ago and he

had CDs. I'm a terrible businessman and I'm even worse at self promotion. Right. And you were telling me the same thing. And Ari and Ari was trying to sell his CDs and it sounds like a little thing or his DVDs and people didn't have money or some people didn't have enough, and he just started going, ah, fuck it, there you go. And he just gave them all away

to everybody who couldn't afford it, because he could give a fuck. That's who he is. He's a really sweet dude, who's also really evil. And, but it brings him so much childish joy to pull these pranks that when you see him, if you ever see Ari after he's pulled off a successful prank, it's, one time, who was it?

Was it Bobby's birthday or someone? We were just on the podcast, it was yours. And he just goes, he goes, by the way, it's Alex's birthday and they're about to bring a cake in. And like right before that, and then he just looks over at it to bring a cake out for a birthday. The joy in his face for ruining for it.

It's funny, people ask me. On the last episode of The Christmas Gang, Jay just had a, he just literally opened up a Diet Coke, took a sip, closed it, and then Ory grabbed it and goes, on the table with a Diet Coke to make it flat. Which he just did. For no reason, just to make it flat. He needed help. That was the best thing, when I started a comedy, it was the things that every comic would do.

You'd have a slice of pizza, and you know, it was for you. And Jay would be like, oh, let me get a bite. And then you'd give him the pizza to have a bite, and then he'd fling it across the street. I don't know why that's so funny to me, though. It's so funny. You always re-buy the piece of pizza, but you got to give him that moment. Dude, I tried to do that to Ian Fiedence recently, and the way comedy has changed, dude, it was fucking crazy.

He had a pizza pizza, he was so happy. He's like, dude, they're giving away free pizza at this pizzeria on the corner. And I was like, oh yeah? And I just smacked it out of his hands. That's a bear paw, that's how a bear eats pizza. So then I smacked him out of his hands, and it landed on his shoe.

And he was like, dude, what the fuck? And there was these two girls there, and they're like, why would you do that? Nobody laughed, and it just looked like I was the biggest bully in the world. I remember the worst. Life has changed so much since like, when it was 2005.

We all had that friend who would hit you in the balls. You know that guy who'd be like, dude, did you see my squirrel bite? You're like, what? Boom! I did that, you know. I can't. No, they're referencing right now to own a show.

And then he threw $2 in the grounds and I had to pick it up. And the M&Ms were only a dollar and you know what I went back and bought M&Ms again. That ride detector test. Oh God that's good. Honestly. But I mean what happened to comedy? People don't do that anymore.

The meanness, like that mean spirit. It'll come back. No it won't. I don't know, dude. You don't think so? No. Let me tell you why I think it'll come back. You can, you can.

Your partner is suing me. What are you trying to do? Come back to meanness. It'll just find its way. Your partner is suing me for being too mean. It died with Patrice, dude. I'm telling you. The truth died with Patrice. No, because no one else is willing to be the voice of it.

You're kind of suing me too, Alan. Except Dave Chappelle, who's a horrible voice for it. No, Brian Chappelle's the only one. He's going to say whatever we want. I'm the best. And then Brian Chappelle's the big partner. I think all of us are kind of similar. I think that's your job.

I think at the end of the day, you're, you know. Yeah, I don't think it needs. If you shot him, that. Dude, I've heard. I mean, I remember. I don't think it needs a Patrice or something. It's not like a top-down thing. Yeah, it's a cultural thing where people have the sensibilities

are being sort of worn down and worn away. So we have a bunch of savages on our audience. But I think this is sort of a dying breed of like comedy fan. What they're consuming on television and they're consuming in part. Dude, you're talking to you. It's just like a subliminal message that's like I find myself already getting this point Was over possible. I think it's fucking in the algorithms

It's in the media when I thought it was over was there was a girl some show in LA where these guys do? Characters to host the show in their shop jobs, right? That's the kid. I don't know the show I just know this girl did the show and they brought her up and they kept saying some better tits or big tits Or and when she came off stage, she went immediately not not and that's it didn't say a word to them yeah who were guys who were doing a character they might have been like oh I'm sorry she just went on Twitter was like he's got I don't know I feel about this if these guys they did he shocked and they brought me on stage and she kind of gave a bad rundown of the story too just to say like they're doing. Well, our tits were winging across.

But they were like, oh, our tits. He's battling now, nobody cares. The third message, it was somebody going like, well at least give us their names so we can ruin them and blast their social media and fuck up their career. And it's like, fuck up their career? I mean, that's insane. And I was like, that's overdue, because here's the thing.

Someone told me, I forget what it, I wish I had more exact details in this but someone said they were talking to someone who was like and growing hair and fucking cause problems for so and so this week they started something like Twitter thing that was like so and so and it was something that was easily easily squashed but he was like look how much I'll make it this guy's this guy for a day I lived he'll have to find for a day that he's not a pedophile I fucking lived that right yeah and what you do is the only thing you can do,

you can't fight that. Just fuck a child. You cannot fucking fight that. The only thing you can do is, I'm already paying the price. It's like, how about that, dude? No, wait, Lewis. I'm gonna take it. Lewis, you're over the line. But there's always, look, the more crazy it gets,

the more oppressive that it gets, where you can't speak your mind and you can't even fucking joke. Let me tell you what happens. A whole marketplace like this opens up that wants to hear. This is not true. It will be bigger than the black market though. That's what I'm saying.

It will be bigger than the black market though. Like you don't need more than that. A subculture stuff. The black market has Nike. A subculture. You know, I was talking to a guy who didn't choose a rape. And he said to me, you didn't choose a childbearing. What am I gonna do? I don't know why they did.

I don't know why they did. We're always outlaws. So right now, people that speak their mind are the outlaws. Yes, it's dangerous. Yeah, you can get cancer. So I'll say fucking anything or a tweet that's 10 years old. It doesn't matter. But at the end of the day, you see that?

And I told them to play the bear if I get too serious. No, it's just right on time. And now I'd like to sing a song. We're taking back this aug machine. Jew by Jew by Jew, the white man marches on. I don't endorse that. I don't know what that means. No, of course not.

That's just the bear. Resist! By the way. I'm a plant. By the means. No, of course not. That's just the bear. Resist! By the way. I'm a plant. By the way. Biden, 2024. Marissa Revis. Biden, Biden!

Marissa Revis and her husband, who bought us this bear, everyone, just had a baby, everyone. Congratulations, Marissa. Yay! Is that who bought us the bear? Yeah, and isn't that always the funniest thing in the world?

No, wonderful couple. The sweetest person. And probably fairly liberal. Yeah. I'd say very liberal. I think Brian's more right than you guys are. Thank you. I don't think that.

I think that trends that are unsustainable, even when they're like peaking, it's almost like you're in the housing market in 2005 and going, shit's going up like this. It's going to go up like this forever. You can't sustain it. There's got to be a crash coming. You can't sustain the rules.

Every time I say my daughter, my daughter's almost 20 and every time I say she's like unaffected by this and her and her friends are unaffected, but everyone always says it because she's my daughter. Like it's probably not the trend. And she does say though that like, there are several people that she used to hang out with that would have never, like she would never

brought to a show. Can I just say, like we, let's move on. We're having a little dick competition. We're talking about cancer let's move on. We're having a little dick competition. We're talking about cancel culture. We're in the middle of a little dick competition. Talking heavy shit here. I'm with you though. We're in the middle of a little dick competition.

Lewis, we haven't seen the, Lewis doesn't give a fuck. We haven't seen the second talent yet. We need to cancel culture soccer. Go hold tight, go hold tight. Let's look at some little dicks. What are we doing? Yeah, Lewis. Am I wrong or am I right?

Come on dude, there's a deal. Real quick, I'm, by the way, I'm more than happy. This is why China's winning, you fucks. This is why China's winning. I'm more than happy to move back onto the little dick competition, but can I just point out for the record that 10 out of 10 times, Lewis starts these conversations. I do, but they're not accredited. I know.

And then goes, what are we doing here, guys? We're gonna have, you started it. You went into your conversation. Hold on, I thought I're gonna have you started it. You're gonna do our conversation. Hold on, I thought I was gonna have an intellectual conversation. This is Legion of Skanks, right?

Before this guy shows his dick talent, let it be known that the Legion of Skanks will fight for the First Amendment. There it is. And our right to say whatever we wanna say with minimal to zero repercussions. whatever we want to say with minimal to zero repercussions. You know what? And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance

and furious anger. You know what? No matter how irresponsible it may seem, no matter how little thought we put into these words. I will yell the N-word from the rooftops of New York City. No, Big J, your voice is too shrill to lead the revolution. I'm not inspired. I need more baritone.

Girls, pull out your snatches and let's ride. Don't say snatches. I thought we agreed. Cunts. Smashed eggs. Pull out your cunts and let's ride. Big J, lead the way with your gunt. What an amazing intro to Jerry's talent.

I'm getting the surgery now, dude Brian You say you like wrong way to betray some shit He's big unfunny faggot All right watching Second one in one area I think Oh my God, what are you watching? Yeah, hold on a second, what are you watching? I think I have to, hold on. What's the thing on, I don't know, the show porn or something. I'm bringing it back on, don't worry.

I think I have it. Big Jay the Saddest, is with betrays in them They thought he's a somebody But I got he leverage on a fat dude What a fat chick We're gonna fuck some chicks on the road And that's their existence that That's an odd existence to me. I get, they get to go on a road and get new pussy.

But at that age, the traveling were killing. It was me personally, just. I was in the Navy. I traveled around the world. Traveling for New Pussy. The traveling part of getting New Pussy. Like I love New Pussy. I get New Pussy. I love new pussy. I got new pussy. This new pussy is a lone stay out there traveling to get it.

That shit is annoying. Damn, he almost fucking cracked your ass. Sorry guys, I had a fucking, you know, you know me. Dave, you guys really showed out right there. That was badass. No, I'm saying, I was pointing out that he was playing on easy. I was going to go back to that he was playing on easy. I goes back to think he's playing on expert. What the fuck is this? I couldn't.

What is auto blow? Come on. I mean, is that a rhetorical question? Because I mean, it's right there in the name. It blows you automatically. I can't wave my fiance with my new baby. I'm gonna be like, these are the people I hang out with. I don't need you.

You put it on the table and it'll suck your dick. Is that right? I would never use this. Never? I mean, you know, just I have a good idea. Look at that mouth right there, dude. Hit this shit on Sean. That looks like Big Jay's gun, but smaller.

Slightly smaller. Sorry, buddy. I'm making you insecure. No, I don't have a gun. Should I put that down here as my gift? I'm aware. insecure. All right. No, I don't I'm aware Oh, it's underneath your stomach. Oh, it's there. Where's the light detector? There it is by my bird. There it is No, are you are you you look like you're a thick kid you look like a ballplayer. Yeah, no, I'm thick How is it gonna be hard for you to get down to 195?

No. I'll get down to 205 pounds. Really? Yeah, a month before the fight, and then I'll set the cut. Water weight or fat? Both. Yeah? Well, no, I'll be fat.

When Louis goes for it, he goes for it. Oh, I'm going to go for it. When Louis gets in shape, he gets in shape. And when he gets out of shape, he gets out of shape. All right, well, there's not even really that much. It's just the transition. The bit you said you were doing it. It's called depression. Maybe.

Oh, I think it's because I have a gluten allergy and when I eat, I just eat tons of fucking bread. I hate the energy. Can you stop? Lewis, learn. Maybe I have celiac disease. I fucking, I love, I love bro signs, but have you been checked for celiac?

Lewis, the reason I don't believe it is because it's obvious you learned the word gluten three days ago. You learned celiac disease 15 minutes ago. That's all good. You have celiac disease. Maybe. That's why I'm going gluten free.

I'm getting ready to peel down. You gonna do that? Gluten free? I do a lot of gluten free shit anyway. If it's an option, I always get it. He does none of this. I've never seen Jay watch what he eats for a second. Why are you lying to Brian Spence?

We spent zero time away from the show this. I don't believe you. Zero time away from the show together. I don't eat. Wow. The truth comes out. Wow, you're fucking attacking our friendship now? You fucking. Zero time, Jay? How about, Jay, you're gonna say we spend zero time together away from the show?

How about the pre-show texts? And the right after before I leave? I was checking with your gluten shit. Where are you coming at me today for, dude? That's the opposite of what's happening. Who's Calens here? It's my influence, it's my star power. It's fucking Calens here?

It's my D-level star power. Oh, dang, show us. Guys, you watch the Goldbergs on that TV. I'm paying it forward, he's giving me the gun biz, so I gotta come at you hard. I was thinking, I'm never gonna make it. This guy does big parts of the movie. Stop trashing his fucking gun,

he's all mad at me and he'll for sure. I'm sorry. Now he's turning on Lewis. I'm a huge fan of Big J's. I told him to put a special on. You're counting right there. It's going to happen, bro. What are you doing? It's going to happen. You're bungling it. Fuck yeah, man tears. You guys like laughing really hard for 50 minutes, otherwise don't watch. Who's watched it? Who's watched it?

Not bad, right? What do you think? I'm counting on you. All right, good, dope. I got dope. Fucking lazy. I got a lazy dope. That's good though.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's What do you think? All right, good, dope. I got dope. Fucking lazy, I got a lazy dope. That's good though, that's who watches specials. You guys sit back and go. Nice.

Yeah, that's true, by the way, I'm the same way. I can't even, I had to edit it. I was like, I'm so sick of myself. And 15 minutes is too long in this TikTok world. It should have been about 15 seconds. 27 minutes, the perfect amount of time for a special. Is that right? Yeah, I'm gonna break it up. How much? 27 minutes. I perfect amount of time for a special. Is that right? How much?

27 minutes. I'll break it up. Really? I'm gonna do about 40 or so. Yeah, wait till I break it up, everybody. Wait till it's fragmented, you fucks. All right, last one, Debo, number three. Yeah, Debo, show us a hard deck first, please.

You stay on point, bro. Yeah, dude, I gotta keep it going. I like your fucking. I like it. Or else Lewis will break off into a conversation about cancel culture and then yeah yell at all of us for having the conversation. Hey what do you guys what do you guys think about the future of cancel culture? Yeah, I think it's unsustainable. I had enough maybe, maybe. Hey, by the way, by the way. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

We were just making the same points we always make every time. Then don't start it. I know, but you started it. Yeah, but we can't just go around making the same points we always make. And I want to thank your lighting guy for fucking. Oh, um, wow. What I can't do with Krusty is, Wow, I think these pussies, maybe that pussy, really? I'm counting, nothing.

I don't want any questions, or anything. Even if I want to talk moments. It was that rush hour moment. Ugh. You can't go fast. You can't go. You know, to get to make... Look. You need to go out.

Bitty grandie here, and then there's vacations. The dudes get to do gigs and fuck. The chicks have the gigs. So they're happy. Itty-gritty here and they fuck. I know it is. So they're thrilled. The guys, the guys that are channeling, they're thrilled. They're the channel is trash. But they do that. Like why and he's in the most hardcore maximum security prison ever and that's a whole pro that's great except my god what if Lewis has to take his face off

and put it on another face of a prisoner and then they forget that he's the guy in the I watched the first half and he doesn't get out and doesn't give you your face but I watched first I loved it I never went back to watch the second half and I bet it was dope. I saw the whole thing. Was it great? I saw the whole thing. Great movie?

You know what? I thought it was outstanding. I think anything that motherfucker does is outstanding. I got to hang out with him a couple times. Oh really? I went to his house and watched the fights. Oh yeah, you take pictures of him. I love this. I go to Sloan's house. I'm standing in a fucking circle with Schwarzenegger, Pacino, and fucking Schwarzenegger. And now you're here with us? Yeah, now I'm here, same feeling.

And Bill Burr walks by me, I'm just sitting there like trying to get in on the conversation, because I'm old, he's my fucking hero. And Bill Burr just walks by and he goes, you've been here for an hour already, get over it. Just walk by. And I was like, I'm not over it. I'm not over it.

Fuck, Bill Burr, you seasoned bitch. Oh my God. The fuck is that? Get over it now. Sugar Ray, Sugar Ray, I mean, I never showed up. Get over it. Michael Strahan. I'd be so uncomfortable around all of those famous people.

You feel like a failure. You just feel like a fucking failure. I like to have like Harrington and Bobby Hutch. Buddy, can I tell you something? You're not wrong. That's why Shane's doing fucking great with what's going on with Shane because Shane gets invited to Nick Diaz's house to hang

and he's like, hell yeah. Where if I get invited to that same thing I'd be like. Yeah, I'm a lie detector. I'd lie, but I got to do radio in the morning. So I got to. No, I was gonna, I got invited to the after party. Jake Shields put me on the list for the after party. Shane, by the way, said he was gonna put me

on the list for the after party. And then when he got there, he was like, hey dude, my phone's about to die. So if you're the after party and then when he got there he was like hey dude my phone's about to die so if you're not here in like the next five minutes I don't like it. I got Jake Shields to let me in the fucking after party piece of shit. Shane got Jake Shields to take you off the list. But I opted to not go because after parties and being around other dudes is gay. Yeah well you know what Nate Tiaz came to my show in San Diego comes backstage and gave me a personal boxing lesson

I was fucking producing estrogen the whole fucking time. It was so exciting. I think I have it on video somewhere I think I put it on Instagram, but that was kind of cool By the way story that went no by the way, you know, you put on Instagram Oh, you guys because I think it's on Instagram. I don't know, maybe you guys could check it out. I have someone else do it. I got a mother-in-law. I have to do a little talk to Dez's mother-in-law.

That has to be done. Won't tell her, but nowhere, I'm not learning that. I'm gonna have to do a talk that does his mom. That fucking loser. I'm gonna give her a talk and clean her out of this and that. Dumb retarded cunt. I wish I would have to do that talk to you she will accept it because the other thing except it now I'm gonna give her this talk and

she's like no I don't know there's mom No, that is mom. I'm going to just talk, you know, the other eight other faggots I got out of here, five of them in your family. I have to give you the time. I didn't think I had to give you the time. I just wanted to not get to talk. She ruined the night. She didn't hurt enough. And I will physically do it too.

Meaning, I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be the one who's going to do it. I will be really ain't, she's hurting me. And I will physically do it too. Meaning, you need to talk and physically throw you out of my fucking life. Um, yeah, that dummy realize that too There's a lot because they're so heavy yeah, yeah, yeah, well it didn't help

It's in there bad lighting Is it amazing the only body part part you can see though is his dick. Oh, I got a little shot of it, there it is. That needs my lighting. That's like a Bigfoot picture though. Yeah, I was gonna say it looks like the man in the grassy knoll, let me show you. He goes, I guess there's a person there. Look at that detector.

Grassy knoll guy. Go ahead, let's see his horse. Dave Bungle. This is great. Ryan Cowell. This one was sickening. It was kind of wet. I hated it, dude.

It made me want to puke. I hate his dick so much. It's so shiny. It's so shiny. Why does he shave his dick hair also? Don't do that. Oh no. I'm so fucking depressed.

This is brutal, dude. Grow your above-dick hair. That is a wild, tiny little dino. I don't think the above-d hair that is a wild a wild tiny little I don't I don't think the above dick hair is gonna make it I know but why it's like it's like he's like super fucking tan it's a whole bad idea not him you know what he's a disaster physically that's correct yeah yeah yeah hair would help like jays like I think a little over the dick hair would help yeah yeah I do I trim my down. I trim mine down with a big...

I trim mine down, and my balls are bald, dude, but this is not a good look. All right, so let's see his talent. By the way, his dick, it makes me the most upset out of all of them. It looks so sticky. It looks sticky? Yeah, it looks like the material of those things

just stick to the wall. Yeah, it's a wacky, that guy's got a wacky wall walker dick. Whatever that feel would be, that's what his dick would feel like. I do, like, oh, like fake pussy. Yeah, dude, not good. His dick feels like fake ass. Good, let's see his talent.

I thought he was wearing blackface on his stomach. Oh my God, he's got a pussy. Oh, look at his little, what is he doing? No, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no If they were over in the town's position, there's such a... There would be the biggest house ever. They're out of their position. But where are they the temporary? Where are they now? I figured out when I was in the army, I was gonna fly a wire, I was gonna fly a wire detector, ask them questions, but I didn't think I saw a car all over the place.

They're shocked by it. They're shocked by it. I'm gonna leave you. You're gonna do this and they're gonna put you down with it. The ugliest chick ever is Big Jay Okerson's wife. I'm just kidding. A little wife kind of all over the place. Because she's hide this but... You have one count on. They ask a one count question.

How do you have one count on? Ask them questions. There are questions. I knew you had a little waltz, you knew that wasn't even hard enough. That's what I want. These bum ass niggas. Wish I had made it. But I never make it.

Just skin criss faggot event. As we see, the third of them getting new pussy. By two new chicks. The only guy with pussy is me and Jacob. Uh oh. These were those early. What is happening? Everyone in Calais asking a question

Mmm-hmm Zero What the hook is going on No, dude, no! Is he shocking his dick? No, please don't put it in. Why do we go to our head? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. You know, that's big, dude. That was big. That fucking thing. I mean, on that tiny dick, that was a really big thing to go in. That was Debo. I mean, Debo, guys, I mean, can we have some celebration music for him, I guess? I mean, how do you? Here he is. How do you top that on a show? Just a small dick, golden tucker, where are you?

Doesn't have enough color in his thighs. It did. Yeah, I gagged. Could you feel a sympathy pain of someone going in your piss hole? Yeah, yeah. By the way, I will say honorable mention to Brad and Jerry, who were great throughout the competition, but I mean look, the better

tiny dick won. One of you decorate your dick in skittles in the dark. Now have you guys had a big dick competition? That's a lot more interesting. I know, that's the next one. You would think that if you were a homo. But whoever has the biggest dick has to be last in line at Skankfest. I'm just talking over here. I thought this was Skankfest. I thought it was free. The biggest dick contest is for the person who gets to get into the show last. You're fine. Yeah, fuck you dude. You got a big dick ready. You don't get anything for that. That's crazy. At Skankfest before all the shows they go, guys, next show starting, please line up in dick order. Yeah. How funny would it be at Skankfest to have a big dick contest and we make the winner leave Skankfest. It's funny to always say you had to leave Skankfest because your dick was too big. We jumped them out. Yeah. I love it. You get excluded. You get exiled. Yeah. I mean life is a biggest dick competition and you get great prizes

for having a big dick. Until it's not, until it's too big. right? Dude, when Dave decided, he goes, hey, you know what, I think I wanna settle down and have a family, in two years, he's a family of five. That's what happens when you have a big dick, dude. Four kids? Four. He has two kids. Family of four. Oh, three kids, three kids. Two kids, I have two kids.

I said that. Nobody's good at math. No one's good at math. No one's good at math. I was like, you have five kids? I changed it. I was making more of the joke, but you had a family so fast from being, because he was like a big dick, he goes, I'm gonna do it this way now,

and life fell into his lap. Yep. Yep. Ain't that about a bit? Yep. I didn't make the decision. I didn't just go, oh, I'm gonna have a family. I like, I met the chick first,

and then was like, I'm gonna do it this way. Full head of hair. And he was like, I'll keep her. Symmetrical face. She's not going anywhere. She's nonstop attached to this dick. Well, she and he was like she's not going anywhere. She's non-stop attached to this Well, she could barely walk You have kids to all of you have kids

My dick is a big enough to paralyze her I came in the first girl that said I could And then we had a kid I didn't think that I could get somebody pregnant that shallow in a pussy Impossible I And then we had a kid. Hell yeah, dude, I didn't think that I could get somebody pregnant that shallow in a pussy. I didn't get the questions. Beatrice went, I'm pregnant, Louis went, impossible. I came so shallow into your pussy, though. I barely went in. Only the first shot got in there. Sometimes I do an impression of myself.

Yeah, Beatrice. That was my favorite Louis. My favorite Louis logic was there's no come, no seemingmen get you pregnant on the first squirt. That's not what I said. What was it? Am I saying the right words?

I said it in pre-film. It's not a real semen in pre-film, which is also probably false also. I know, I was kidding. He's got a lot of bro-science silly accesses. I made a joke. I'm going to show that you, to this day, have taken it literally.

And I said, the first one you shoot, there's no semen in. And then he was like, what? And I was like, no, kidding. But you never really got there's no semen in and then he was like You never really got that I don't remember the kidding part It started with this gunk thing Fantastic you know and then I said trash in his gun Like once every 10 episodes you to get into a thing that turns crazy real. You're like, yeah, I made a joke 15 years ago. My life has been a living hell ever since.

Well, it's definitely nothing that a leg wrestle couldn't handle. Dude, I let you win that leg wrestle. I swear to God. You didn't let me win goddamn shit. I swear on James' life, I let you. There was no winning or losing. You farted.

Yeah, I know. Dude, you keep saying a win and lose. There was no win and lose. He's upset because I said I let him win. Know what he wants. What are you two doing? We're all friends. Why did you say it that way? What are you doing, Dave? This asshole, am I right? Fuck you, big dick fan.

You see how you brought him together? I did. That's how he brings him together. Oh, mister, I want a family snap overnight. My big dick makes it happen. And that was the end of Dave. Well, Jay is hammered. He's had six shots of tequila.

He can't even sit at a table with us as his friend. Apparently, that Rogan relationship is real. They said a lie detector. Never did it. Idea Lewis asking about a lawsuit. Never did it. This was a show and show of parents. What's happening here?

If this passes, it's gonna be printed like, there's like three of them. Nothing was even asked. What? Hey, shut the fuck up, Tom. You're not part of this conversation. Who said shashash? I'll tell you what, I think Tom could kick your ass.

I think Tom could kick your ass because he takes fucking a pole in his dick, dude. He said he's into that. First of all, I'll beat the shit out of Proud Boy Tom with ease, okay? You think so? With that fucking pipe in his dick. Tom will you will you I swear to God I'll dress up as Antifa you dress up as a Proud Boy

at Skank Fest and we'll do a boxing match exactly. You're afraid of me. Yes you are. Damn dude Philly dog don't test him. So yeah here's the thing Tom't appreciate you yelling at me, but I do like the idea of a sash. The sash was great. It was a good idea. It was a good idea. That's the point. Dude, you scolded him and then you brought him back into the hole. Can I do something?

This is called gaslighting in real time. Very impressed. If you don't know how to gaslight your employees, you don't know how to do anything. How about the idea of a sash maybe a sad everybody Let me let's get to the Guys you're probably wondering whether this guy's wearing a sash and a crown on the front row. I'll tell you a cape, right? Kate. Yeah, listen, I say we decorate this guy like a fucking Christmas tree. I don't know, I don't know. I think he'd let you.

It shouldn't just be you win front row at all the shows. You should have to be a jerk off at the same time. Yeah, he's gotta dress like a wookie. Yeah, a full fucking. Yeah, full of the, if you're gonna do the impression the whole time. In the hot Las Vegas sun. Or just something that doesn't move, like a fucking tree.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I just wanted to be dressed like something wacky in the front row, be awesome of every show all right I love it all right you win dude I hope it was worth it it must be let's do plugs while we're doing our plugs why don't we strap our friend Brian Callan to the lie detector machine. Alright. Because they have to ask you like control questions. They have to ask you control questions. This is an FBI grade lie detector. This is real deal. It'll say inconclusive if you're not sure. If you're not sure. It's weird. We've all done it before.

Ari did it, the Ari Garbage guys did it, Mike Cannon did it. It's becoming somewhat of a tradition to come on the show and do the lie detector test. So we're very, very excited about this. Let's do our plug-a-rooskies, get them out of the way. Do I have time to pee-pee out of my huge bed? He's gonna fucking run out of here. Yes, well, plug, plug. Do your plugs first.

I got lost, I don't know what happened. Do all your plugs first. I just tested positive for COVID, I'd love to do it, but. Do all your plugs first, and then go pee, and then. Man tears, watch that on YouTube. Oh yeah oh man tears watch that thank you and then I got my YouTube show best of why where Tim Kennedy takes me through special forces training that's the latest episode and I will be and at the San Jose improv this weekend Thursday Friday Saturday then I got Spokane Washington Spokane Comedy Club you've done that place the next weekend and then

I got all those clubs that that guy owns are awesome. Then Tacoma Comedy Club right after that. And that's all of September. So get your tickets, BrianKallen.com. Sick. Go pee, buddy. Go ahead, go pee, and then they'll put you in. Go ahead, Lewis.

Do your thing thing. Got a lot of stuff coming up, guys. Me and Aaron Burr continue to be a friend to everyone to where we've been going everywhere. Thank you for everyone that's been coming out so far. It's been incredible. Aaron Burr. We'll be friend to everyone to work and going everywhere. Thanks you. Thank you for everyone's been coming out so far. It's been a run of her will be in Tampa 23rd to 25th. Plano, Texas at the end of the month. Billy at the end of October. Lots of other dates coming up as well. I'm a goobie said they want to have you.

I love it. I'll hit him up. Yeah, I gave him all the info. Remind me of that. So we're gonna be going out everywhere. We're ending this one in January. Keep on checking. Lewis of skanks.com for tickets. Thank you very much. Also, if you love this show, subscribe to gas digital network. I'm the best way to support this show is by subscribing. You get the on demand library for the entire network. All of these weird like 700 episodes of Legion of Sanks

that are not available anywhere in the world, except for on gas. Digital network dot com. All ad free uncensored all in one place. And one day is fucked up with the on. They ask common no questions. Which is an incredible experience if you're racist. If you're not, it's pretty dark. Yeah, it's brutal. If you're not racist, you're not going to be comfortable. You will be appalled. Davy, go ahead.

Alright, September 25th, one night only. I'll be at the Creek in the Cave. Uh alright. Uh September 25th. One night only I'll be at the Creek in the Cave out in Austin, Texas. Two shows that night. The shows are almost sold out. So, go grab tickets now. They're going to sell out I think in the next few

days. Comic Dave Smith.com has the ticket links up there. Uh I'm doing a bunch of uh a bunch of podcasts. I said this is my month of doing big podcasts. Just did uh Tim the other day. I'm doing uh you're right near me and you're working in Maryland. Why did you say something? So, one of the audience. Black Luster. We would have hung out. Guys. It

was a chance. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Can't hang out with your retarded friend. Yeah. I will be on uh Andy for Sela's uh real AF podcast uh in a few days. So So I'm going to travel to do that. And then a bunch of other stuff this month. So you guys will all see it'll be coming out soon. Comic Dave Smith dot com. Part of the problem. Yo MMA rap all here at the Gas Digital Network.

Love it. Yeah boy. Big J comedy. Real fan. Big J comedy dot com for all my dates, tickets for all my shows. This weekend everybody, I'll be with Justin Silver and Dylan from Gas Digital at the Palm Beach Improv.

I'm there, you said it was you. I went to Palm Beach, I'm excited about that. Five shows, three nights. Oh yeah, you'll be with Justin Silver, that's exactly how Justin Silver told me it was gonna happen. Oh yeah, Justin Silver with BigJay. We had him on Bonfire today to answer for it.

It was hilarious. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny, listen to the Bonfire everybody. Five days a week, Faction Talk Series, except 103 with me and Dan Soder. This weekend, again, Palm Beach. After that, everybody, I'm going to be with Ari one night

only in Las Vegas at Wise Guys. Are you going to be there, Louis? I am not, unfortunately. Louis is not going to be there. But it's going to be fun. I think Kim Konga is going to come hang. Yeah, that would be fucking awesome. Then I'm in Columbus Friday and Saturday of that week.

Columbus, Ohio, check that out. After that, Comedy on State, Madison, Wisconsin. Only my second time there, come check that out. And then Orlando, Funny Bone, after Skank Fest. And of course at Skank Fest I'll be filming my special. Very fucking exciting. Kansas City coming up. Miami, Florida.

I'm all over the fucking place for the rest of the year. Ending up in San Diego for New Year's Eve. So fucking check all that shit out at bigjcomedy.com. And the SDR show right here on the Gas Digital Network. Yeah. All right. Brian's getting his test questions. His test questions.

They have to ask him a few questions, control questions to figure out. Let's do one of these stories. Yeah, sure. What did Anthony Edwards say from the Timberwolves? And when did he say it? The season's not started yet. Anthony Edwards apologizes for homophobic language.

Jay, they do talk off season. Oh shit. Oh, it's like a tweet or something. I heard you're in town. I thought because they catch him now with all the cameras they have, they catch guys all the time after the thing being like, what's up faggot,

or you know what I mean, or like the N-word and shit, they catch them all, and now they're getting in trouble for it, which I think is pretty shitty. What do you mean? Because it's always happened, but now the cameras, like when people at home can see them mouthing, like the players mouthing, like, fuck you motherfucker,

like they're getting in trouble for it, like fine, that sucks. I mean, you know, I think it's... That sucks. I mean, you know, I think it's... There's only one person sadder than Kumia. And it's Lucia Gomez and Big Jay Okerson and Dave Smith. They're the ultimate sad faggots. The last people paying for a network.

They're the saddest niggas on earth. At least the Komi made millions before. They never made millions. I saw Louis J. Gomez ask me, we're friends, and he was like, I'm gonna take this garage, move my thing, I'm like, you know you're renting it,

I was gonna own it, but they don't know the difference. Legion of Skanks is the dumbest, most non-funniest my first R&R watch. I don't even get to think that thing. Well, I get it as a stand-up gig, but... Counts is gone, it's done. You know, my detective test, they ask another one day. They're happy.

They're content, they're not hungry. I get it. We just can't get out hungry. They were fighting everything and everything. Then Callan. They're living on it, man. How is that? Good dummy, dummy, and fucking dummy chick, and they're going to road where they don't make that much money. The failure of them is, by the way, all the chicks associated, Lucy Gomez and Biggie O'Gretchen, all the chicks with them, they have to hit the road to make them money from the network

and their thing. What are you doing on the road to fuck other chicks? They fuck ugly I'm getting it. Like I picture being Luis J. Gomez and it's sad. Because I'm friends with Luis J. Gomez in real life. And you rent a house and they tried changing the garage because the nigger rented a house, and now you don't know the change, you don't know the renting. It's sad. Well, a woman there in life has to be the saddest.

If you're a chick and you fuck Dave Smith or Louis J. Gomez or the Oakerson, you must be the saddest chick on earth. These niggas are not making money doing stand up. It's going to road the harder it is. But my god, that was the Barney County. I'm in shock they've been going over that much. I get their fact and say, look at the grown thing. Wow. And Brian Callan on. Not a quotable. They ain't even controversial, dude, you know what I mean? No quotable or anything.

But they're so lazy, like, took the Brian Callan and we'll do a stand up and some overweight white chick will fuck me in the audience so I get to do everything. That's all they care about apparently. And they're setting up gigs. There's some white chicks in the audience, they'll fuck them. They have no importance in doing a proper interview in any way shape or form. Did they ask Brian Callan a question? I missed it if they did.

On Twitter they didn't like it. They didn't do that. They didn't or funny. And their goal is not to entertain or funny, but to do stand-up gigs. Because they get pussy at the stand-up gigs. They're only going to leave us things. Their goal is to become bigger on the internet. Because they get pussy at this in our gigs. They're not gonna leave us things. Their goals have become bigger than the internet. And we get pussy in our lives when we do gigs.

And the trick of this thing is, they're a long count. And they're an amazing video. They didn't do it because the two orders of pussy you get when you're a phoenix are fucking state ordered or whatever. Ugh. It's disgusting to me. You're that interested in wickle pussy?

My fucking God. I'm telling you things without a sound drop. Holy shit. A sentence? Nothing. A sentence? Nothing! You ain't got pussy, but I don't know what you're doing. I'm talking business-wise. Business-wise. What the fuck was that? And why did they suck and they stink?

Business-wise, what the fuck was that? Ryan Cowlin and there's no clip from it. No clip, no way from it. Ryan Cowlin, no way to think. No clip. They care. If they're going to stand up and ask no matter, if the Dix are going to ever, ugh, I don't know. They've got their goal accomplished.

They've got their goal accomplished. They got their goal accomplished. They did a dick shot. They did a thing called, they shot him on the thing, they dicked him. I guess? They got their goal accomplished. I can't remember my goal. This isn't my how to go. I don't know how to go. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. We, we, we played it live. We watched it live. We watched out alive. Nothing happened.

After nothing, come on. My food is here. I'm trying to talk to you. I can go eat my food right now. I'm trying to check on those for use. This is how sad that was. Everyone counted. Why did you cheat out eating a lie detector thing? You know what I mean. But they didn't do it. It's over. It's done. They're not alive anymore. The rich used suckers off. I was suckers when I, Louis J. Gomez, and I was on the like, we're still in the games.

We're on the road. We're on the road selling no to kick it in. That's not the unit. Watch that because you guys, he's a good person. There are other people I hate. There are so many other people I hate. Get the fuck out of here. First of all, we do not, by the way,

I very much like Brendan Chopp. Thank you. Every time I've met him, he's been lovely. I've met him a couple times briefly, but he sent me a fucking really nice message after the last time I was on the road. Hey dude, really loved your appearance. I was like, thank you, I very much appreciate that.

He doesn't think Lewis is funny though. He said that in the message, which was so weird. Why does your friend Lewis get funny? He goes, loved you on Rogan, Lewis isn't funny. And I went, thank you, was that last part necessary? And he just replied back, yes. Yes. It was.

And as we have in this program was and as resounding yes he's unimpressed with you yeah I only met Brandon one time at the comedy store and he was a very very nice guy yes I look I think we've made jokes on on the shows what's funny is that like you see people like like online for whatever reason he and part of it's cuz he kind of like, look, he got like, he fast-tracked in comedy. You put that on me. Because he was, no, no. People put that on Robo.

Hey, this is the guy. That guy, he went from being a fighter, fucking, he didn't fight for long. He was a football player. And then he gets in a cage where they would lock it and fight other monsters. And then his dream was always to be a fucking comic. And I'm the guy, I'm the guy that made him do that.

I'm the guy who put him. You stupid asshole. Get him! Wait, wait, wait, wait. People say like Rogan, Fast Track, some get the fuck out of here. Dude, I get it. I would tell a hot chick that she would be a great comic

if she's flirting with me. You think I'd be funny? I'm like, so funny. I say this to you too. Don't bet against that motherfucker. It's gonna take a while. Don't bet against him. But my point is that I think that almost breeds

people kind of hating you. You know what I mean? When you get fast at something. Yes, always. He's also beautiful. He's also bigger and stronger. I love those, like, the people online. Like, you see the fucking random internet fans

who are like, Brandon Schaub fucking sucks. And you're like, dude, he's a fucking heavyweight fighter, millionaire successful person, relax a little bit. Just relax. There are other people where hate could go. Most comics put it, here's the thing, this is what happened with him, okay? Most people put in, a decade in, they put out a special,

he did it like two, three years in, nobody's gonna have a good fucking comedy special two, three years in, it's a fact. Nobody here, if we were to put out a special two or three years in, would've gonna have a good fucking comedy special two, three years in, it's a fact. Nobody here, if we were to put on a special two, three years in, would've put out something good. He shouldn't have done that. You guys as his friends failed him. Yeah.

Hey, Annie Letterman never sucked my dick in a truck. She never, he never, look, look, look, that's a whole bullshit thing too. Look, the guy, at the end of the day, this is a guy who does everything he can. He's trying to make himself better every fucking day. I love people like that, but I also love him. So if the world's against him,

I'm right knee to knee with that motherfucker. That's my brother. That's my brother. That I fucking respect. And I love him. And we, honestly, everyone here, like I said, I met him, he was a really, really nice guy. I feel bad, because I think the thing is, because we've made jokes, like I said, I met him, he was a really, really nice guy. I feel bad because I think like the thing is

because we've made jokes and you know, I created Crack Amico who made an entire song. It is a clap for him. I think the perception. It's a lot of Lewis, a little bit of us. I legitimately have. Once Crack Amico was created, there was no reigning of that. I have no problem at all with Brandon, at all,

literally at all, I've met the guy one time. I think it's just kind of funny to make the joke you're not supposed to make and that was the elephant in the room Especially with like Rogan like the whole joke is that you can't make fun of Brenna show up because then you're out of the Rogan Sphere and I'm currently out of the Rogan sphere me and Lewis are way out Oh my god to worry that member where they put the Phantom Zone where they put general Zod Superman 2 If earth is Rogan, we're floating in a mirror in space Really hey you remember when I told you I'm out. Thanks for watching!