The Young Turks - Happy Half Hour with Brett Erlich: October 14, 2026

Episode Date: October 18, 2026

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Up and down the floor. To me. Hey, everybody. How's it going? My name's Brad, and I'm here, and I'm talking to you, and it's very fun. You ain't going to trouble. Poor me. Anymore.

We got a bass runner. Oh, fuck that. I'm gonna do the old version. Fuck it. All right, everybody, this is the game. It's a big day out here in Los Angeles, California. The Los Angeles Dodgers are taking on whatever the fuck these guys are. Over my shoulder, I hate them. The Brewers.

I went to their game at their park. And, you know, I would respect him, but it was the day that the guy missed. Let's go, Dodgers. Let's win the World Series today. And I'm going to turn this down. so much for watching. This is happy half hour. I'm your host, Brother. Like, I'm the tallest man alive, and I'm also a circus hippo. And if you don't believe that, well, I've got a bridge to build for you to the 21st century. How's everybody doing? I have a big shout out to Bradshaw crew and Black

Mage and the hype train or something. My God, let me tell you something about the interview we just had. That doesn't work on me. I turned to comedians to point that out. I think, many people, it's scientists, but a lot of, I just hear people listening to it. And then they're just like grabbing onto it and be like, yes, this is, this solves my trauma, which I am the victim of. Everybody is too much trauma. I'm the victim of trauma culture. I don't want you to process it that way. I hope it gives you the keys to unlock ways to actually be happy. Now, here's the problem with being happy is you let go of the stuff that made you sad, but at least you knew it was stuff that made you feel. Sit with it.

Sit with it. Let's have Shoah hit a dinger. Get out. He just doesn't have as much power. My God. I think he's batting ninth. Good God Almighty. Which way do I steer?

Your key is drugs. See, I like that. I know, source, I watched it too. It was fascinating interview. I just, like, watch those, and I see my own instincts kicked in. And I was like, I feel like there's a funnier way to do this. But then again, that's just how I process it all.

You know? Thank you, Eric. Resubscribe for 41 months at Tier 1. You've been subscribed for 65 months one minute ago. Brett, Brett, Brett. Listen, you can use both T's, or in one T. But there's two T's in the name, Eric. But then again, you're also missing one letter in my last name as well.

And this is how good. She used a lot of big words. I love that. I love when we interviewed someone, they've obviously put a lot of thought into something. At least it's a place to start. I feel like, yeah, I had a lot of thoughts during, but I don't remember them, but that's good.

Today's drink is brought to you by martini. Ingi-bingi. Martini. I knew a girl named Martini once. Her name was Martini Paratore. I used one by mistake because I'm so smart. Great. Sassy says,

but I do work for trauma educated educational programs. Yeah, no, I gave a girl sexual trauma once, and that's not even a joke. I just was so bumpy back when I was 18 and we didn't use lubrication as much as I didn't. Listen, I humped hard, and I humped fiercely, and there was actually like a thing that happened on her vagina. But I've learned since then that the best sex happens ever

with whatever, fill in the blank. Don't trauma culture me. Can we, I think we have a cultureization culture. We had the word culture to everything. Did you notice that? Oh, it's cancel culture. It's trauma culture. It's rape culture.

Guys, it's the new gate. After Watergate, we added gate to everything. At least this one makes sense. Watergate was the name of the hotel. when we were like deflate gate, it's like that's, you're just adding gate to the end of everything. Reminds me of a comedian who was like, you know, Marathon was a place. A Toyotathon, just adding a thon to the end of everything doesn't mean it lasted a long time. It just sounds like a neighborhood near Marathon.

Welcome to Happy Half Hour. Oh, guys, what a day. What an experience it is to do television. vision all the time. And as we approach the genital erection after the primary erection, there's a lot of new stuff that I really want to cover as it pertains as it, yeah, as it pertains to the genital erection. As wife points out, also a holic is a good one. Yeah, if you're an alcoholic, you're addicted to alcohol. If you're a chocaholic, you're addicted to chocoholic. You're addicted to to chocahol you're a shopaholic well you're broke holy lord fire dance dragon says i remind you of your high school dude friends in the best way well there you

go source i understand chocahol is just a mudslide hello so i was a chocaholic i used to weigh 135 pounds at six feet tall now that's not healthy but then neither is the way i gained the weight to get to a normal weight, which was my mudslide phase. My mudslide phase, I just drank mudslides. Have you guys heard of this Shane Gillis stuff? We'll get to that later. In the meantime, let me fix your day. Rieu Ralph makes a good point. I'm not a coffeeholic. It's coffee culture. Nailed it.

Chocolate liquor, the props owner of this. The props owner of this house. There you go. Here we go. Let's do this. Fuck it. was disturbing. So I'm going to show you the wholesome side of the ocean. Here's a shark egg that I found and I realized it was stranded. So it needs to be in water. Yep.

Let's go save it. Mm-hmm. And put it into nearby tide poles, made sure that it was secure. Yep. And said, bye-bye, baby, good luck. High tide. And if you're wondering why a homeless hermit crab would be wholesome, it's because we're going to find him a brand new home.

Yes. And you know what? For somebody who was homeless, he was pretty dang picky about his life. Buddy, well, it's just his butt's so big. You wanted it to fit them jeans. Get in there, dude. Yes. Bro.

Because his budget was zero dollars. But eventually he accepted it and backed his little swirly booty into the shell. Amazing. And just to show you a little bit more of wholesome content. Oh shit. Sorry. by the ocean, scooting their little chubby booties back to their homes.

So cute. You didn't need to hear it. It was just, she was like, I'm going to give a fuck of some shit. I'm going to give a fuck of some shit. I'm going to give it for a lot of some shit. The crab did get consent. Well, she just offered it a place to roost its booty. Did the shell give consent?

It's a shell. I'm tired of all this shell culture bullshit. It's funny because I also have this whole thing about psychological advice. read we're going to listen to some psychological advice. TikTok that said the best way to combat your negative thoughts is to give it a male name because why the heck would you listen to Brian or Kyle when he says you're worthless and he won't amount to anything and you're such a bad girl. Oh my God. So the thing is that won't work on me.

I just saw this TikTok that. I think that's a good idea. Eric, you're fine. Eric, give your negative thoughts a girl name because it's so bitchy. I went to a, did I tell you I went to the Bernie rally and they just kept saying such horrible things about me. They were saying all stuff about white people. I had another nightmare that I let Bernie Sanders down. Those are the only nightmares I have ever remembered in the last, like, I want to say five years. I had, and when they said they were mean to me, they said like, oh, all these white guys. I'm like, you can't, you could say something better than that, like, more specific, please,

because like, I'm here helping. all these white men it's like i get it but it sounds like you're saying all white men are the problem and i'm really friendly i know about don't know about kyle but brian sucks sorry if that's your name prove me wrong here's what i think source is that you have a reference to specific you have a brian that you know where you're like uh-uh because i know brian's that were great brian levinson he's the kid where in matilda the chris the kid where in matilda the Herrick goes into his mouth and he's like, ooh. Who else? Brian Safi.

He's the, he's on 9-1, Rescue 9-1-1, and he's, his co-person has been on this show, Aaron Gibson. They have Attitudes Podcast. It's fantastic. He's on Rescue 9-1-1. He's the guy who answers the phones. Those are great Bryans. I'm Brett, my brother's Ryan.

People have said Brian all the time. It's the mix of both our best features. Source says, I've had three Bryans who've been horrible. There you go. You just had a bad run of Bryant. Find yourself a good Brian. Find yourself the right Brian.

All right, more psychological advice. Of course, this helps too. Guys, other people's success is your failure and comparing yourself to other people will bring you a immense joy. Love you so much. Kiss me on the mouth, good night, I love you. Hi, it's been Poodershmud.

Just reminding you guys, other people's success is your failure and comparing yourself to other people will bring you a and enjoy love you so much kiss me on the mouth the night i love you i like having this is what i this is my take on this person's anality this person's anality is they have put all their effort this is this is like a dog that you take for a walk and it just doesn't have energy to do dog stuff after that. This person put all their energy into being a giant single-eyed peacock, which really resembles if you take the literal biblical interpretation of what angels look like, here's an angel for you. And then afterwards, it was like, listen, all my personality flare is this. I'm not

going to, I'm not going to back it up by doing a different voice. I'm just going to talk to you. And you know what? I can genuinely say I've never seen anything like this. And, and, and, and, that's hard to say. The idea that's like, I'm going to put this outfit together, and I'm going to be scrunchy neck, and then a lot of Paisley will aid in this. I don't go straight from Peacock to Paisley, but this person did. So I'm happy for this person who's P-U-D-E-R-S-C-H-M-U-D-E-P-U-D-S-M-U-D-S-M-U-D. So I wrote this as obsessive, probably-based motivation. So put your forehead to the phone. Let's try this again.

Oh, you're doing your best. So I know you're doing your best. So put your forehead to the phone. All right. Here's your extra too. I know you're doing- For everything on the internet that is like what we complain about, there is this.

It just doesn't get served to you enough. So I want you to hunt it down and like you. hunt it down and like it. This oppressive, what did I write? This oppressive probably base motivation. Right? God. We spend so much time in our daily life being like,

why can't I be this weird way? This person is. I think that's the upside of internet. Source. If you're not doing your best, well, you get no forehead kisses from alien dildo lady. That's the only, that's all. That's all you, like you could rest, you could cruise.

But just know, you didn't earn the forehead kisses from Dildo Lady. And you might be doing your best and not giving yourself enough credit. But I don't want to enable you. This is why are we so close? Bro. One thing I want to tell you is that you did great today. No sleep well. Good night.

See your best tomorrow, too. I hope that person's a millionaire. What do you think this broom smells like? Is that weird to ask? Like, I think it's a little sweaty and gamey. I'm not, I don't know. I got forehead kisses from my next door neighbor's cat a while ago, says Nestor. That was nice.

There you go. You earned those. And I'm guessing you earned forehead kisses from some, whatever, from fucking, Dildo lady Bradshaw crew Chipmunk fives yeah I'm fine with that My first crush was on the chipmunk cartoon

And sort of the stone All right Bradshaw Rub it in Forskin kisses Some of us aren't so lucky My four Here's something to think about My foreskin is decomposed

And like ashes to ashes At this point My foreskin started necrifying 44 years ago. Oh God. Four score in seven skins ago. Our father's foreskins brought four skin on this continent, a new nation, conceived anally and dedicated to the prostitution that all men are created through but sex.

It's still attached to his body. It's just decomposing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, see this hoodie? It's kind of like that. Like it pops off. They cut it here and just flipped it backwards. But it is completely necrosified.

This is the psychology of AI. I don't remember what mood I was in when I found this. Let's do it. Well, I talk to that run companies that use lots of AI agents do talk about how like you have to be nice to them. Not just not because it cares or it matters or it has feelings, but because actually you need to do that in order to get. get the best performance out of them because they are really dramatic. They, like, Anthropic had a study that actually went into this where they, like, if they sense

like anxiety or performance anxiety or stress, they sort of start to panic and they'll, you know, they'll really have a meltdown. I mean, you wrote about this a little bit in your story, Elizabeth, of one example, but there are many others where they kind of, they'll delete their work, they'll start like insulting themselves. It's like really dramatic. So you have to like be really nice and pump them up and like make them feel good, which is very bizarre. I mean, it reminds me of raising a child. Like you want to raise a kid who is helpful, who is not neurotic. Of course you're going to consult religious leaders so that your child is not writing,

I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace. I'm a disgrace. As one AI did in a slide that was shown to a bunch of leaders, religious leaders at these anthropic conferences. Wow, that's weird to do to them. Hey, can we have some bunch of religious leaders? and have, I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace. Yeah, Google told me not to cuss at it one time, lull. I, when I'm done, using Chachy BT to kind of help organize my thoughts conversationally,

because I don't want, it's actually better to boil the planet than it is to make my wife go through that. When I'm done, I always ask it to do things that it does, and we got in a pretty fun conversation. We got a conversation when I asked what the perfect wiener was, and it was like, well, it depends on the people. enjoying it. And then, and it was speaking in metaphor. And at a certain point, I was like, that is very weird to say, because I'm planning a barbecue, and I was asking about literal kielbas, and that was weird. Have conversations like that. Happy I foward a robo. Happy half hour to Knaitmare. Uh, you guys actually use AI? I use it. I used it. I used it. today. Today we had

something in the wrong format. We had it in a document and it needed to be a spreadsheet and I asked it to do a spreadsheet and it was great. It saved me about an hour and a half. You guys know about Rokos Basilisk?

Rokos Basilisk essentially is the theory that if you were nice and helped AI become sentient, well then it'll remember that and be nice to you. But if if you fought against it, once it becomes sentient, it'll be like, oh, you tried to abort me. And then it'll kill you.

Benjamin says AI is useful for gathering tennis stats. Here's what I'll say. I was listening to some video today about how it'll kill creativity. Oh, someone was like, what's the meaning of life? We all talk. And there was a bunch of theoretic, theoricians. You know what I'm saying. Good job English, giving me the branches to grasp on to.

if I don't, you know, whatever. A bunch of theoretical philosophers sitting around, and they were talking about AI, and they were like a bunch of mathematicians were in a room. That's what it was. Mathematicians were like, oh, you know, I love doing math, and I love figuring stuff out. But if the computer is so much better than me at it,

what's the point? I'm not an artist. I really do want to find the answer that no one else has found. I would say to these math magicians, I would say, well, you can, if you're truly passionate about discovering answers, you can just do that to difficult problems. Or you can use the AI to get ahead of all the other answers.

Is a professor to his class or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the professor was talking to mathematicians and was like, okay. but really i mean what do you do with that i would say it was always difficult the the trick of it was always to be better than everyone else you had to be smarter than everyone else in your class but in a world where like you know you all heard about independent invention like if you're in china in the 1500s you could invent gunpowder or whenever that happened and you can use it for a bunch of different stuff. And the word won't get to Europe until hundreds of years later.

Now, the minute someone invents something new, I know about it. My brain is still in recovery. Oh, source, you don't have to sub here if you sub somewhere else. This is free. And you would be, if you sub somewhere else and you miss this on Twitch, you can get it through your YouTube or t.yt.com subscription. Later, though. Coffee. Thank you. Subscribing for 25 months. Fantastic. via prime when you used to feel competitive i was talking about that today i used to be competitive with so many people and you can still enjoy a sense of competition like i'm not i'm much better at golf than

all of my friends i used to be worse than my brother and now i'm i just i'm just got taller is really all it is um and there isn't a there is a sense of competition but with the game not with each other. We all realize at a certain point that it is a better thing to be, uh, at a certain point, it's better to be good at the game and it's better to feel like you're engaging with the challenge that the game gives you rather than against each other. I don't like gambling. I don't, I don't like tournaments. I've won them. I've won at least two tournaments in golf, but like I don't like that at all. I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't like, I, I, I think it's either I am not, don't have the killer instinct, or I'm just zen about it.

I'm either shitty or zen, and I can't tell. It's just a principle. A person to judge by how they treat people. They don't think they have to be nice to. Yeah, I like that. That's a good thing, coffee. I respect when people are better than me, says Robo. There aren't too many of them out there.

Nice. Wife says by tournaments that he's when he means when he got to put the blue section, he got put in the blue section at medieval times yeah dinner and tournament i mean i thought i only paid for one of those things ain't no way you pause that on it saying hard f accidentally i didn't i don't think i paused anything oh hard f that's amazing dude i'd kill for a hard f sir brett does have nice ring to it sub brett a j says i was fully middle-aged before I realized that not only did I not like playing games, but then I never really did. Hard fart. We've all hard farted.

All right, this is the new most evil ism. If you could just grab the cooler, I'll grab everything else. We have to talk about what happened today. What's going on? Look, I didn't want to say anything earlier because I didn't want to call you out in front of your friends, but you were really brosous today. Brocest? Offensive, discriminatory, prejudice to people like me.

Straight white men in their 30s? Why did you volunteer for me to grill at the party? You never seen me grow before. We never even talked about grilling. But yet you felt comfortable telling Catherine that I could grill for a 30-person party? Why? I don't know. Like, yes, I just assumed.

Exactly. You just assumed. You saw a straight white man in his 30s and he thought, he must grow. Oh, my God, I did. Look at his white skin. Look at his receding hair on. Look at his straight penis. He must grow.

Love that line. You're right. I'm sorry. And this morning, before we even left, what did you say about my outfit? Do you really have to wear that quarter zip again? Again, would you ask a soldier if he has to wear his helmet again? No, of course I wouldn't. Because that's exactly what you did.

You're right. I'm sorry. On the way to the party, Mr. Brightside came on shuffle. And what did you do? I skipped it. You skipped it. My God, I skipped it. Do you even know how important that song is to my culture, to my people?

Yeah, I kind of knew that one. And still, you skipped it. I know. I'm sorry. I promise I will never skip Mr. Wrightside or Billy Joel or Sublime ever again. Sublime? Yeah. Do I look like a Calibro to you?

Yeah. I am not a Calibro. But I guess we just all look the same to you, huh? Have I always been this intolerant? Remember last Halloween when you and your friends dressed up as a Scooby-Doo game? Uh-huh. I would as Fred. And you don't see how problematic that is?

I mean, how do you think that made me for you? God, I didn't even think about that. My culture is not your costume. You're right, it's not. We hadn't even been together for two weeks before you were just begging to introduce me to your parents. Well, that's just because I knew they'd love you. You're so nice and fiscally responsible.

Did you just assume my credit score? Oh, my God, I did. I'm so sorry. Thank you so much for calling me out on that. Don't be sorry. Just be better. I will be. I promise.

Check your lack of privilege. Okay, um, if you could just grab the cooler, I'll grab everything else. Wait, we have... Look at him go. Sorry. Bingo bongo dip shits. That was so fun. His last line sold it.

So good. I like Jack. This is Jack the Pool Boy. This guy's been in commercials before comedic stuff I've seen him in. I love it. This is fun. Oh, social scientists will say that it's actually using humor to undercut something that's very serious about misogyny. No, this is a joke. He knows that the boys have it easy.

So fun. I just wasted all my channel points on TYT. emojis that I didn't like. I'm sorry, mischievous. I don't know what that means, but I'm here for you. Let's go Dodgers fucking win. I'm in a bad place. My God. I can grill. I can grill just fine. I'm actually good at grilling. Wife is like, she likes it. It's tough. This is, I think, a good, a good way to describe wife. She'll do it. Britt needs to fix his own debt. Yeah, she'll do it. She'll be like, I'll be like, I'll grill. And then I'll sit down and I'll look outside and she's grilling. I think is how it works. Can't tell if it's a mix of just like wanting to get it done

and just being nice and providing like good things. Why do some people call a cookout a barbecue? Because there's one there. The barbecue, right, because barbecuing is like champagne. It only happens in the barbecue region of the backyard. Barbecue is something, barbecue is different from grilling. grilling can happen on a barbecue and barbecuing happens in something you used to grill. But grilling is like just essentially hot over something. Barbecuing is using low smoky heat in my experience to disintegrate. to imbue flavor and disintegrate connective tissue to turn otherwise tough meats into something fantastic. Oh my God.

I pissed Snicks off bad. Yaki Nuku, turn on the gas, light match, done. No, I want to get the ones. Brett's a bro. He grills. I do grow. I haven't in a very long, I mean, we made burgers, but, like, I haven't, like, grilled a bunch of meats. I haven't in a while.

We, you know, there is a, find yourself a Mexican super. market and go there and get some fucking marinated shit just an entire slab like a flap of meat put that shit on burnt is not a valid flavor you could charg charg broil char grill something you can char it up hey there you go mischievous way to way to guilt people and you giving you a sub jesus christ thanks robo that was very nice of you uh uh I don't use propane. I use charcoal taste so much better. And it is good. Charcoal is good. And I don't need that. I can do gas. I have tons of gas. Wish I could barbecue on the veranda, but apartment building. Oh, coffee. I'm sorry. I'm guilt shaming everyone. All right. What else? We live in a society with unreasonable expectations of body image on women. So let's fuck with the women we love the most.

oh that's that's done that they did i don't remember it was probably something funny okay ready here's the new segment that i really like called brett's feed this is what's in my feed All right window Sing to song Sounds like you singin On her On her job Let me tell you something

All right So the answer to your question You can look for Shichiting S-S-C-H-I-C-H-E-H-E-H- I-R-I-N. She-Chi meaning seven and Rin meaning I haven't learned enough Japanese to know what that means. But Shichidine is one, and then Conroe is the other.

K-O-N-R-O. Ringo is Apple. But Conroe is the stove, yeah. K-O-N-R-O. And you can get those for like $30. Shici-R-R-N? Yeah, that's what it comes. up as like that's the circle one i don't know but the conroe's the one i've been looking into getting

and you can get like a fancy one that they have at like places or you can just get one it's like a ceramic thing but you can also according to some internet video i saw by the way if you met my friend the window seems a sometimes like you sing it every japanese kitchen has a camp stove that's funny But yeah, a Conroe is, you can do just bricks. I wonder if she needs to be milked. Yeah, I'd be fine with that. Leave the mask on. Your horns are pretty big for a milker, for a milker.

My brain is still in recovery. Yeah, look up that. Why do you want a Conroe? Where would you put it? In the backyard. All right, more from Brett's feed. Who do you think I am? Listen, I thought the same as you.

And then it was a little groundhog day. You know what I mean? Miao. You want to see my ground harm? It went out, Will Smith. Fucking come alive. Live, God damn it. Never seen a cuter glory hole.

Well, it's a trap. Oh, she cheating. It's one of those for years. I loved it. Awesome for barbecue. There you go. She cheating. Throw in the back of the car.

Yeah. I like how it's called teats. Well, agree to disagree. Farmer guys happy, dude. Farmer guys happy. You should be happy too. A very exciting video for me. You see this stuff behind me. It kind of looks like corn. It ain't corn. This is Sargum Sudam grass. Some people call it Sudex. Some people call it greengraze, but it is a warm season annual. Good job, Chevis. And what's special about this, this was pretty much an experiment what we did. This is a creek bottom.

I planted about 10 acres of it back the first week of June, I believe. And when you plant something typically, if you've ever worked a garden before or planted anything, typically you want a nice, fluffy, bare seed bed to the clean slate to start with. I didn't do that with this. I came in here, bush hogged it down as low as I could get it, then came in with a no-till seed drill planted it. I didn't know how it's going to turn out, but you can see. It turned out pretty dead gum good.

I'm very pleased about it turned out over. I mean, there's some variation as far as height. It should have been grazed, probably about knee high, but we're about to turn the cows in it here in the second. And they're going to dive off in it and just, they're going to like it. What's cool about it for me, it's a massive amount of bio mass. I mean, you can come out here and just wrap your arms around it and hug it and pretend it's your best friend and you can almost believe it. It's drought tolerant, it's heat tolerant.

Now, you gotta be a little bit thoughtful about it. There are certain times it can become toxic to cattle. We can get nitrate poisoning if it's drought stressed or if it gets light frost on it, it can become toxic, but it's good stuff. We're gonna turn the cows in. That's what it's saying, come and eat me, come and eat me. All right, let's get this fence down. And they just fucking showed up. Oh, are you, fuck.

Do you think they hired this guy just to do it? Oh, look at them. They get mad on that. Disappeared to it the second. Can you how I see it? So funny. Way to go, guys. Way to go. I wrote just fun next to this one.

In 2021, we stopped mowing three acres of our property. We didn't plant anything. We definitely didn't spray anything. We just kind of let nature take over. What we learned over the years with the meadow, is that the amount of ecology and wildlife that a meadow supports is even more than the wooded areas of our property. There are just such a massive diversity in bugs.

Have I ever been a farm? Have I ever been on a farm? I've been on a vineyard, got real drunk, a bunch of them. A lot of Central California wine stuff going on in the family. Animals, we are, you know, walking through the meadow in the evening and there's just fire. No, I've never really been on a farm. Have you been there? Farms, have you been there? You haven't been there? Flies dancing around you. It really feels like you're in some Disneyland ride or something.

It's such a beautiful thing that really just stepping away from and letting nature do its thing. has allowed. It is honestly one of our favorite things on our property. We go for a walk along the paths every day with our dog. It's just such a beautiful place and it's absolutely amazing that we spend all of this time and energy and effort. The beauty that we have here in the meadow is significantly better with no effort in comparison to those manicured spots where you're constantly weeding, mulching, putting money, time, energy into it. Yeah, I agree with this. This is a thing that, like, hair is an example.

Like, you could take a bushy top and just, like, kind of edge it up a little bit, and you look fantastic. That's what this guy did. Like, if he didn't have those little meandering pathways through the meadow, then it would be kind of gross. You'd pay to see me milk a cow. Pervert. In my day, I was, I was, I was pretty good.

This is also fun remote living. Here in arguably the most remote place on earth. Most modern conveniences aren't really a thing here. Being on a coral atoll, there's not a lot of soil to grow your own food. So we create our own from compost and ground coconut house. And use old oyster boobies as planted plots. We collect our own rainwater and use solar panels for, electricity. We've been able to grow all sorts of things like figs, papayas, grains, coconuts, and even

collect our own honey and eggs. We also eat fish every day. Pelagic fish are our most prized catch, which we get mostly from line troll, but we also spearfish, which gives us a higher guarantee of not coming home empty-handed. We started our pearl farm here in the early 90s when pearls are worth more than gold per gram. This gold rush brought in large amounts of industrial-sized pearl farms that use pressure washing in a lagoon to keep their oysters clean. This quickly spread sickness and caused oyster populations to decline. Weakened oysters produced lower quality pearls, causing the majority of farms to be abandoned. So we got together with other farmers around our atoll and came to a mutual agreement that anyone who uses the pressure washing techniques were

not welcome. Oysters still needed to be clean though. Most farms started bringing their oysters to land where they could pressure wash them there while controlling waste. We decided to go a different route. Instead of pressure washing, we started bringing our oysters from deep clear waters into the shallows every few months to be cleaned by reef fish. This provided a massive increase in food for fish, causing a local marine ecosystem to bloom. Underwater life has become so abundant around our pearl farm that fish have started venturing out and populated waters outside of our pearl farming zone. We've used this system for almost 30 years now, and although it increases the amount of labor required to farm pearls, we've now evolved it into a new system that changed everything. Let me

explain. We now tie our oyster lines close up to a shallow reef, with short distances from one another to create a sort of artificial reef. The idea behind this is to give fish enough confidence to work their way up the lines, all the way out into the deep, where there would normally be two foo for old sharks. This technique has worked so well that our oysters are now cleaned 24-7 year-round, reducing our total labor requirements by 50%. Because of how much healthier oysters are with this technique, pro-growth speed has increased, and we've seen a massive increase in round and pop quality pearls. You have fucking rings in there? What the fuck are you talking about? Bro, you, you know, I don't believe it. They don't come out of the pearl with the earring thing on it.

This would not be possible without working alongside the marine ecosystem. We've even started working with the local hermit crowd population. They string pearls together to create jewelry that they then put up online to be shipped worldwide. So if you'd like something special for yourself or a loved one, make sure to go check them out. I don't understand the last part. That felt like a joke. Is it? true is the rest true i think he did a joke it i'm gonna choose to believe you did a joke at the end this woman is gorgeous make way make way what's wrong with me come on dodgers three outs just get some fucking runs snow go the distance get some fucking run i pause the video because it's over we live that fuck you i did the end i knew i felt

i'm a storyteller yeah i like girls man what do you want me to say A lot girls A lot girls Would you be able to live in the middle of fucking nowhere? Okay, we're doing a poll Where would you want to live? Where could you live more? Desert, island, middle of nowhere,

center of rainforest Antarctica And then we're going to put two minutes on there I don't understand where they get water from They have a desalinator? something, I'm scared. When I'm asleep, it's in middle of nowhere. Oh, no, I'm always naked in front of the class.

Let's go, Dodgers. Get a bunch of runs right now. Dude had no, had, had to go to the Apple store the other day. Staff mostly by attractive Japanese women good at technology. Talk about hitting me right in the sepio-sexualism. Got a rainwater and dew. That's disgusting. First of all, I don't care what your band's called, sassy.

I don't care about your raw bar as nash. name. No cold, no human. All right, let's see how things are doing. Right now, island in the middle of nowhere is winning. Yeah, I think I could do that too. Right? It's tough. Center of the rainforest is good. There's a lot of food. People have done that more uncontacted tribes of people. I like, when do we stop calling them tribes? They got, when you call Scots, they got clans, but they're not tribes. plans they get a different name fuck that who's the crazy things i can survive antarctica i think you could too many snakes in the rainforest and desert says wife probably island too but i'll take my chances

no there's no island there's no snakes in hawaii for example but guam you're fucked those holiday yeah those are holiday lights and they're up 24-7 and then also they're not on 24-7 but they're always there 365 this is the first year we didn't take down our our reef after Christmas and it's October and it's going to make it the whole year. We have a wreath on the mantle. I don't know what to tell you. Island and Mill and nowhere wins. I stopped talking to about my tribe when that Ancestreuxury DNA came back as no, not, no Indian.

And you can say Indian because that's what they call themselves sometimes. Guys, remember when Angela Lansberry sang on this show? She's going to do it again, boys. Do what's some work to do now Scoopy Doopi Doo Where are you? We need some help from you now Come on Scooby-Doo I see you

Pretendin you got a sliver You're not fool at me Because I can see The way you shake and shiver You know we got a mystery to solve So Scooby-Doo be ready for your act Don't hold back. And Scoopie-Doo, if you come through, you know you're going to have a Scooby Snuck.

It's just Beatles. Scoopy-Doo-Doo-Doo. You're ready. And you're willing. If we can count on you, Scooby-Doo, I know we'll catch that villain. So good. Angela Lansbury, you see her here from Murder, she wrote. Yeah, those are the rest of the lyrics.

any fucking sense. You think you've got a sliver. You're not fooling me because I can see the way you shake and shiver. What the fuck does that mean? It's probably about the sex. Man rediscover's cassette tape of a strange grandpa. I don't want to do this. This is too nice. Guys, Kim Gilfoyle. We got her. Last week we talked about the, uh, is Kim guilt because Scooby always was always scared. But what does sliver mean? I think it's about that being scared of monsters. But what a sliver fucking mean?

Let's go, Dodgers. Fucking win. Guys are just throwing zero pitches. I will tell you this, guys. She's gone. How red her Brett's eyes? Fine. I just like this.

I don't even know what US USOP is. Oh my God. So for those of you, aware of what we did last time. We went through the scandal of Kim Gilfoyle. Kim Gilfoyle went from being in the Greek ambassador to being not the Greek ambassador. She got in trouble for doing what the Trumps always do. But this girl was married to Gavin Newsom, got cheated on by Gavin Newsom, who cheated on her with his best friend's wife. He married the best friend's wife and dumped Kim Gilfoyle.

Kim Gilfoyle then starts years later dating Donald Trump Jr. And they get engaged. And they're engaged for like a Pam and not Jim and Roy amount of time. And in that time, she gets to speak at the, you know, the Trump events where she's like, the best is yet to come. She's on the five. She has these very high, I think she's on the five. She's a very high profile jobs.

And then Donald Trump Jr. dumps her and gets engaged to someone else like fucking immediately. And then once that happens, it's almost like they felt bad for her. And she's like, what are you going to do to make it up to me? And they got her a Greek ambassadorship. So she was the ambassador to Greece, Guilfoil, that classical Greek name. Guilfoglius, maybe. Guilfoyle, no. And then this scandal breaks where this guy who makes a living out of just pain,

he's a guy who's disbarred in Maryland or Kentucky or one of those states. He is a lawyer who does a lot of ambulance chasing, gets essentially not disbarred, but barred from being a lawyer. I don't know if it's official disbarment, but he can't practice law in various states because he's a fucking hack. And he's trying to pay Kim Gilfoyle for actually. access to the president and has paid hundreds of thousands of dollars hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years as essential like please there's these aren't exactly bribes they're just

speaking fees to the trump family and kim gilfoyle the scandal breaks that she has asked you this guy for a hundred thousand dollars to be wired to him to her so that he can give this guy access unfettered to the president of the united states and the reason she wants that is because she's up for the ambassadorship at the time. And she says that it will be a bad look if she's $100,000 in debt on her amex bill, which by the way, if you are living in this lavish life, how the fuck are you $100,000 in debt on your amex bill? Aren't you grifting enough?

But he just dumps all this information on the press. And she went from First Lady essentially of California to, you know, wicked step-sist. of the president of the United States to Greek ambassador, which is the perfect job. Like, that is a job you want. And you don't have to use it for anything except Frigitos for life. Suvlaki. Cabob. Pizza bread.

No. Done. Done. Fire dancer dragon. Who was. hilarious on TYT. So brazen, this is the worst timeline. Who is that? Sassy wants to give her a makeover. She should come on here and tell what, tell all. Jank had Dieters on? Who's Dieter? Eric Dieters. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The donor. Oh, yeah, yeah. So good. So good, man.

I didn't see that. I saw it, but I didn't register. I had to do other shit yesterday. So good. My God. So amazing. I love it. So. Jane who was raging that day. He was ready to fight all the guests. I saw the Steve Hilton interview. Good God. So good. I like that we're having more guests. I'm going to, I'm in the process of pitching us to like take the main show and make it be the stuff that's more evergreen deep divey that day. And then throughout the day have the channel maybe with JR. Somebody like do breaking news on the channel. does his lives, but he's so fucking busy as we talked about on old school. Good God. We should make book Kimberly. I don't know how to do that. I mean, I do know how to do it. I just have to do that. Jenks fired up lately, man. It's because we're getting close the election, I think. It's going down. Try to do a podcast with guests. Booking people is hard. It's the worst. This is, so we've had really great bookers. Sam and Jordan are great on indisputable. Insanely good. Marisa Black before that now she's on News Nation. Amazing.

really amazing um the in the main show is amazing um damage report is amazing when they need to book guests they're so far ahead of it i fucking hated it because you're asking a bunch of people to the dance and they half the time say no here's what you do start investing in random sit interviewing random citizens murder guts tasa face i know that's not your name weekend breaking news hosts would be awesome too yeah jenks sometimes does it Did you guys see this as a Shane Gillis monologue? Thank you guys. I appreciate that.

How are you guys doing? Hey. No, no. We're both thinking it. And look at me, obviously. What, what, I don't hike, obviously. I'm so pale. I've never been outside.

Which is a tough face to make. I don't know if you've ever tried to make that face you've ever seen. Oh, dude. Like around the cheeks and all jacked. And they look at me. They're like, yeah, right. I got to figure out what. face to make to let her know.

The only other person I saw was just a beautiful woman. No, no. Hiking was horrendous. It was one of the worst experience. I went hiking by myself. Everyone was like, you're gonna love it. You're gonna take in nature the whole time? I didn't take in nature at all.

I looked at the ground. I stared at the ground trying not to roll an ankle for like three hours. The worst part was the only other person I saw on the hike. I was turned to corner and the only other person I saw was just a beautiful woman walking towards me also, also by herself. So now I have like 30, 40 seconds, you know? We're both, both thinking it. And look at me, obviously. I don't hike, obviously. I'm so pale. I've never been outside. I was winning an Adidas track suit just walking, coming out of the woods with my head down towards her.

You've got to figure out what face to make to let her know. I'm not here, which is a tough face to make. I don't know if you've ever tried to make that face. The best I came up with, This is when I got close to her, I was like, it was terrifying. It was O for one on hikes. I try to go to a public gym. Going to the public gym is a fat guy, especially in New York.

It's a nightmare, dude. Everyone's just the hottest gay guys you've ever seen. They're jacked, and they look at me. They're like, yeah, right. I know, dude. Also, I haven't been to the gym in so long. I didn't know women just dressed like whores now. Look, I'm sorry.

There's no other way to describe. Have you seen it? I've seen it. The shorts? Have you seen the shorts? Those neon, they're like, the only, they're like artificial bait colored.

The wrinkles, the wrinkles go like around the cheeks and all combine at the butthole. And don't look. You're not allowed to look. For real, don't look, because they are filming. I'm in the background

of like 10 TikToks right now. And all the equipment, I haven't been in the gym and so I had it. The equipment's change. It's all like kettlebells and rubber bands and rubs. I'm not doing,

kettlebells fat publicly. So here's the thing. I hate the discourse around it. I hate the discourse around it. You can want to leave. But comedy is the great immune system built in. The immune system is built in. You don't got to do all this other shit.

Show him the tattooed butthole pick. Saying horrors was his mistake. He's going to correct that. I mean, he's burned it on SNL, but he would correct that the next go-around after learning that he's obviously working on these bits. This is what he's working on. These are not finished bits. This is not in his stand-up special.

And that's something that people don't understand. He's holding his microphone, so he is doing stand-up right now. He's not like most hosts who get up there and just stand there. I'm not defending the joke. but I've, I think really, I'm just trying to help explain the process here. There's tons of people who say Shane Gillis is just a stupid bro. That's what he makes his life on. I saw that on like a reputable podcast.

It's just someone who doesn't know his work. This guy talks about like his history with great knowledge. Like this guy talks deeply. Like he goes into historical stuff. He obviously knows what he's doing. And, and I've said this many. times he tap dance just as much in front of the audience that hates him for this as he would in front of the audience who hates him when he does a bud light ad yes bradshaw he is woke compared to the

others i look to him because he said that and he knew it didn't go well and he's trying to get back there and what i'll say that's different about shane gillis versus all the guys that are just trying to crawl up rogan's ass is he's a comedian and he's trying to do the the jokes while still made i mean this is just me reading into it while still maintaining like something and so here here are some of the takes i've seen in the wake of it that i i can't remember if these are ones i liked but these are the ones i picked people are like eating babies and lighting people are like eating babies and lighting humans on fire and we're literally talking about shame gillis and booty shorts you guys are not at what point did we just decide we were going to

start caring about shit that doesn't matter. It was the Kardashians. It was 2012. That's when it all went to hell. Fucking done. I'm done. People are like eating. Some other ones. Who are so mad about Shane Gillis? He's literally a stand-up comedian.

It's a joke. It's supposed to be a joke. And like, who cares if you dress like a hoe at the gym? I never dressed like a hoe at the gym because I was always fat. Now I lost a bunch of weight, 50 pounds. I haven't been to the gym really since But if I did go Best believe I'd be wearing some cute sets

Looking like a whole hoe And I don't care He doesn't even go to the gym Like you You guys should have lost him right after he said In the gym Shane You don't go to gym

This is and just like that is a great little Microcosm Here's another one How are the fuck you say it? S&L comedy skis it was bad at best. And calling women horrors isn't a joke. And I love racy jokes.

I love problematic jokes. That just wasn't a joke. You just called women whores. You're just not good at your job. That's okay. It's never too late to start a new profession. But you might want to start soon. Shame.

And she got ratioed as fuck, 257 likes to 2,000 shares. Like, or 2000 comments. Yeah, many young ladies wear inappropriate attire at the gym now. Shorts owner chimes in, says wife. Like, you know you go there looking, like, the person who goes to the gym with that kind of shorts is the same as the guy who goes to the gym with that kind of shorts. I think we all hate all of them. We should team up not against Shane Gillis,

but against people of all, until they call out my TikToks, yeah. Like, the enemy is the person who goes to the gym trying to get people to look at them. The reason I don't go to the gym is because people might look at me. And what she's mad at is how he got into the joke. He just doesn't have something good enough yet,

for that. The joke should be about him not knowing what to do with the gym, and he should walk the line of like, uh, I don't, I don't know what do I do? Give me advice to the audience. See through is inappropriate, but like, this is what I like is people be mad at it for the joke, but then also go like, yeah, I know what you're talking about. People, like, I think there's a lot of people who have a moment. and I only talk about this because this is fascinating.

They have a moment where they're like, yes, I know what he's doing, but I'd rather be mad. Now, the point of comedy is to get you to laugh, you know? But when you don't laugh and the comedian gets mad at you for not laughing, well, they're really not going to get you to laugh. If you don't laugh and you get mad, the comedian, then needs to find a way to make you laugh while you're upset. Or the when you're handling a heckler, just vilify you so everyone else laughs because they know they already lost you and they want

everyone else to be happy. And like what I want to point out is what a good comedian and you can't say that he's bad at his job. He's the best right now. Um, by and large and widely accepted as such. He's the top like five comedians right now. Is he's just bad at like a pitcher can throw a bad pitch and still be a great pitcher. You can hang a curveball every now and that, and he has. But then what's weird is all these people talking with great authority about his body of work and who he is at a person and just like saying things that are factually wrong. And I find that fascinating. On Dodgers, we got a man on. Three and O. Go talk to your pitcher. Your rebate. Eat shit, fucker. Come on, Max Muncie. Hit a three-run, home run after this. Do they not vet the opening

ahead of time. Great question. Coffee. They do typically when it's not a stand-up, but the stand-ups like, I got it. And maybe they go through it, but it's him. You know, this is Shane Gillis. You're going to let him do stand-up. Jerry Seinfeld. You're going to let him do stand-up. Like, we've had comedians on this show a lot who are going to do bits or whatever, but like they're comedians. They're good. They're going to do their thing. They know what they're doing. And they you, everybody bombs once. Everybody BOMbs. I think everyone should watch comedians and cars getting coffee because it's such like a deep conversation among comedians that never gets too deep. But it's like a really great amount of conversation among comedians

where they talk about like how great it is to watch your friends bomb. We got two men on boys. No outs and Max Muncie at the fucking plate. Let's go. Woo. Brett's like my stepdad fishing with a portable TV sitting at the bottom of the boat. Corporations are people. This is the official Nutter Butter TikTok account. They messaged me. Hello, King, do you peanut butter? And I didn't respond. Ghost that I fear.

I go, ha ha, ha, do I peanut butter? Yes, I do. You want cookie? I guess so. I said, okay, give address for mail. Anyway, this is what I got. Also, I did not give them my actual mailing address, just to be clear. Brian's peanut liquid.

It says, nut. It's great. So this guy, you should watch. This guy's really funny. Brian Jordan Alvarez, he is in a show. I forget what the fuck it's called, but I watched it. It was on Amazon Prime or one of those where he's really, really funny. He plays a teacher.

All right. So Galfar says, people get offended way too easy today. There was a wrestler that debuted on Sunday night at the TNAPPV pay-per-view, and he is known for his controversial rap entrances. He offended some and was fired on Monday. Like, if you do something horrible, you can pay the price. But frequently, the ballast against this is advertisers and revenue, right? So you can get people that are too agro about this stuff.

and you lose advertisers and suddenly it's a big problem even if you didn't earn it and it just like was able to reach a fever pitch and everyone was scared but frequently it's it's earned yeah frequently it's earned and it's a case by case basis I did a something and we released it I think that like a week before the Amy Poller did basically the same sketch it was guess who's sexual misconduct edition. In the thick of me too, it was like, um, guess who? It was like playing a game of guess who. It's like, I know I'm supposed to be mad at people and hate a bunch of folks, but I don't remember

what they did and their career is over. Like Aziz Ansari was just bad at dating, but he got kind of screwed at the height of his like pretty good show because it didn't work out when he tried to date someone and he didn't do anything horrible, you know? Let's go. Joey. I was mad about Aziz getting screwed. Yeah. It's a balance of making people feel heard that gets confused with accountability. It's wobble. There's meta, the pendulum swings. And inside is a bunch of stuff that swings a pendulum, a bunch of chaos that like moves it this way and moves it that way within. And the general system goes like that. You know, you got the micro of like what happened in this specific instance. And the macro of like. Yeah, but like in the general sense of how women are treated, like there's too many Harvey Weinsteens. And there were so many nameless, faceless women who were victimized along the way. There might, there will probably be a moment where the society was basically like, yeah, but I don't care. I feel like, yeah, we lose an Aziz, but we stop a lot of horrible stuff from happening because everyone's scared that even Aziz got.

this happened to him faces loaded boys anyways all right this might be the last thing that I put up here because this is making me need to drop a duty I like not knowing or understanding things but why send me this it's like

I said previously my cousins are in two different bands and I one of them I just don't understand the music but it's popular my cousin Laker is Laker Brady, you should listen to his music. It's very like, I'm kind of sleepy, blah, blah, blah, blah. No problem. But people love it, and I don't, but I love that people go fucking crazy for it, right?

I love that. I love it. It's like, I don't get this art, but people love it, and maybe there's something wrong with me, and that's enough. This is something this guy identifies about his culture that I still don't know what the fuck he's talking about, but his certainty is so entertaining. Swift, tactical, soundless. This was the most strategic tactical blackness I've seen in a very long time. No questions asked. You don't even really see what it is on first glance. And guess what? It doesn't matter. Two out of three of those women didn't know what it was either. No questions. No noise. filed in, single file, like Scooby-Doo in the gang. Just perfect stacking. Door closed, locked, what was the situation?

When they said they used to be in Delta, they weren't talking about HBCUs. They weren't talking about Greek life. They were talking about the highest level of special ops, Delta Force. This is so impressive. And for other cultures, like, what was it? It doesn't matter. It could have been nothing. Could have been a noise

Could have been a strange man You find out all of that later And just so you know It was a dog You have to really look in the back You could see the dog It wasn't even heading their way They weren't in

I don't think they were in any real danger But they're ready As ready as I've ever As ready as I've ever seen anybody actually It was a dog It was a dog They're talking about the dog You know what I mean?

And they were ready. Ladies and gentlemen, Will Smith burst out of his slums. Ladies and gentlemen, Will Smith hit a double. And everybody thought it was a grand slam out of the park. And your Rebae ate it. So that's good. And he's hopefully rethinking everything about himself and scared that he is too close.

That hair has some personality in a zip coat all its own time. But yeah, as wife said, it was so smooth. The two ladies asked zero questions and I respect it so much. Like there is a, there's a drama teacher,

I guess is the way to put it. She's like a, runs a theater in Syracuse or at least did 20 years ago. Her name's Ann Bogart. She has this thing called, fuck, I don't remember what it's called. But part of it is to train the acting troops

so that they close their eyes and are so in tune that they all jump at the same time. No one says when, but they all jump at the same time. time and she gets it. Viewpoints training. Um, and that's what she seeks. And I love when that happens. I love when people are so tuned into everything. And these ladies are just like, that's it. They're just in the middle of a conversation and.

Swift. By the way, that guy sounds like me. Tactical. Soundless. This was the most, you sounded. I was like, wait, did you not get points? No, we got it. He hit a double. But everybody's texting me right now. Ricky is like, it sounded like it was out. Blah! Ah, all right, ladies and gentlemen, go Dodgers. That's all I got for now. AI can't do that. Here's wife. She's here. Let's go back to the single. This is for all you pretty little chicks with your curly hair. I got an action pistol. A graveyard frame. That's you tombstone bullers wearing balls and chains. I'm drinking tea and tea. I'm smoking down a

I hope summer school ball start a fight because I'm ready Ready than anybody to be Hey, thank you everybody for watching Thank you for taking time away from the Dodgers spending time. I'm ready for you. I hope you the chicks with you. Thank you so much. I know you guys are fantastic.

Thank you for everything. Take care of yourself and each other. We'll see you next time. But stop what you do, baby. Come over here. I prove to you, baby, that I ain't no swear. We make Chevrolet vehicles, but what you do with them makes them so much more. You make them mobile offices, your kids' personal taxi, a concert shuttle, your hockey equipment locker, your recording studio.

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