The Zac Clark Show - Skateboarding, Mental Health & the Berlin Marathon 2025 | KJ Dillard & Release’s Soo Saxton

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

New York City brings people together in unexpected ways. In this episode of The Zac Clark Show, Zac sits down with KJ Dillard -- an influencer, model, and skater just days away from running the 2025 Berlin Marathon to raise money for the Release Recovery Foundation -- and Soo-Hwan ‘Soo’ Saxton, an accomplished skater and Release Recovery team member whose recovery story is deeply rooted in skateboarding and mental health advocacy.They share how skateboarding became a lifeline during struggles with addiction, anxiety, depression, and ADHD, why the skate community still carries stigma around mental health, and how a powerful moment of reclaiming identity helped Soo take his life back. KJ opens up about being a Black skateboarder growing up in Kansas City, finding brotherhood through skating, and why he’s running to support kids who can’t afford treatment.This conversation is about skate culture, recovery, resilience, and the power of friendship – a reminder that it’s not just about talking about mental health, it’s about doing something about it.Learn more about the Release Recovery Foundation, which provides scholarships to help individuals struggling with substance use disorders access treatment: https://www.releaserecoveryfoundation.org/Connect with Zachttps://www.instagram.com/zwclark/https://www.linkedin.com/in/zac-c-746b96254/https://www.tiktok.com/@zacwclarkhttps://www.strava.com/athletes/55697553https://twitter.com/zacwclarkIf you or anyone you know is struggling, please do not hesitate to contact Release Recovery:[phone]releaserecovery.com@releaserecovery

I can't believe I'm in this chair. Welcome back to the Zach Clark Show. I have two people that I love here. And so I love New York City because New York City brings people together when you would least expect it. So today I have with me KJ Dillard, who's running the Berlin Marathon for the Release Foundation and Sue Ann Saxon. And Suan, I've known three, four, how many years now?

Five or six. Five or six years. And the two of you know, so how do you, how do we get here? How do you guys know each other? Give me, give the people. Yeah, we, what was this, three years ago, we knew, a neutral friend, Gabe Shaw, filmmaker, went to a spot. So this is all through skate culture.

Suan, can I say that you came through release very early days? Like, you know, like one of the very, I mean, he was a kid was a child and I always, I do give me some credit. I always lean into your skating. I mean, yeah, you're one of the reasons why I got back on the board. Because I didn't skate for like a couple years when I was struggling with mental health and stuff like Yeah. I just didn't wasn't doing it and Jack like I remember you tried to kick flip in the the pool room. He almost got it, but he could ride so I was like oh like this guy's sky's

cool. I just fell in love with the community at release. But back to the story, we went to this spot. It was just me and Gabe. And then he's like, oh, like one of my homies are going to pull up. I'm like, yeah, cool. Yeah, more than merrier. So then KJ pulls up. I'm like, who is this guy? Like, I don't know if I like him. Yeah, I didn't like you either. We start skating. He starts doing his trick, got the trick. And I was like, oh, all right. Like, Scott can skate, like, respect. And then, like, after that, we kind of just, like, hit it off and, like, continue to skate and got clips. And then, you know, we're best friends now. Yeah.

Legit best friends. No, legit best friends. It's, like, my brother, for real. Yeah. And so, KJ, you, you, so where was this spot? I mean, give me, like, give me some, like, I need. It's called the Harlem banks. Are you not supposed to say this because you're not supposed to be skating there?

Are you like? No, no. No, yeah. Yeah, it's culture. It's Harlem 125th on the red line, the stop. Right below the bridge, there's these steep banks. And you can, like, go up them, do tricks. You can go up and then grind the top into the highway.

So it's a little danger if cars are coming. But KJ did, like, a backtail shove it. And I was like, wow. Who's better? Who's the better skater? I mean, we're different. I'm a fan of Sue Like he's my favorite skater for sure

I think he's better than me But also like I'm good too Yeah it's just different styles We skate similar things but also different stuff I've had the shadow trucks Spitfire wheels The New Deal deck

Are any of these companies still around? No new deal is not around Spitfire is Shadow I've never heard of You said shadow trucks shadow trucks you remember shadow trucks i think they were red well they they they had the should the grind king venture venture trucks okay venture yeah and then grind king too was a truck grand king's still around they are i don't really meet a lot

of people that skate them but like their ads will come up on my my feed and i'm like oh wow they're still around like they make all these innovative like technology things but so you've been skating how long so i mean before middle school so like 17 18 years and kj 16 years since 2010 and you're born and raised new york now born and raised born in arizona raised in kansas city Missouri when did you move to new york around covid is when i first started coming out here and then it was just like i was back and forth from here in ala so why did you start coming out here just like i always fell in love with new york like the first time I came here, like from a skateboarding culture, I was just like, wow, like this place is amazing. It's very tough to skate. But I enjoyed being around a lot of people and that like challenged me because in L.A. I wasn't getting that. L.A., everything's spread out. If you want to skate, you go to a spot, hop in the car. You're in the car for like hours at a time sometimes. And it's just like where New York's like hop on the train or just skate somewhere and you're there.

it's part of the thrill chasing like the spot right because don't you get you get yeah yeah you get kicked out i mean that's just like anywhere though like skateboarding unfortunately is still like not fully legal like if you're street skating as much as it has come up with like into fashion and the popularity like it's always going to be from like security card aspect like unlike they're like we're always going to have that stigma of like they're destroying property they're like degenerate smoke weed all day so i think that always will be the same depending i'm like you know what i mean yeah it's just more popular now because you have it in fashion you have it in the olympics like it's more mainstream than ever but it's still like a subculture

so it's still like a culture of outcasts and like that's where we all as skaters we all as skaters we all meet that common ground you know what i'm saying so yeah and sue recently a couple months ago came to me and said i have this friend kj wants to run the marathon for us and i think what's really powerful about that is we all have stories one of the most i want to get into your story because i don't want to talk a little bit about that i want to get into the mental health and substance abuse thing within the skate community but i want to start with you sue because your story is probably one the most powerful ones in my career you know i uh i uh when when i met you your name was peter yeah your name was peter you're adopted yep and we got a call up in westchester that

peter saxon was going to you know move in to to one of our properties and so peter as we knew him then moved in and you were with us for probably three or four months and we took a camping trip and we were out in the woods and you had a moment where I think you finally felt like you took some of your power back and I don't know if you remember this but do you remember what you said to me in that moment about your name you're like I don't want to be my name's not Peter no I don't remember what did I say so all right so let's dial it back you're adopted your parents name you Peter your name your birth name is not Peter your birth name is Sue on yeah right

S-O-O-H-W-O-N Yeah so it's Peter Joseph Sue-on-Saxon Right So the hospital when I was three months old Adopted to America The hospital gave me the name Sue-on

The hospital did it Yes Got it okay Okay So Regardless we're in the woods And you are sitting there You look me in the eye

You're like my name's not Peter I don't want to go by Peter I want to go by Suon I want to go And so then I went back like we went back to like the campfire where everyone was going at hanging out and i was like yo we're not calling him peter anymore we're calling him sue and so now if you meet this guy that i'm sitting next to in the real what do you know maz sue sue yeah so yeah yeah

so that was powerful man that was part of you i feel like you know coming into your own i don't know if you remember that but yeah i think coming to release i i just wanted a fresh start completely And I feel like, you know, that's when the skating came in, where I'm like, oh, it's part of the old me, my old life. I'm trying to start new. And that's kind of why I wasn't skating as much. But being called Sue Wan, and then eventually you and Neil helped me get back into skating and going to the Yorktown skate park every day. Wow. Yeah, it's funny.

That's crazy that release was a part of your skate comeback. I know. Dude, we bought, we bought boards. We bought truck. like they're still hanging up in the garage you probably snapped a few of them but um and that's what's so big i mean i heard a i heard a story earlier in my career is like if someone's doing something that fills their cup you got to find a way to help them do that right there was this kid that was getting arrested all over new york for graffiti and he was kind of in and out of the recovery rooms in new york and one of the guys

one of his mentors said like you know here's a blank canvas like you can do this legally in my in my workshop or And this guy, like, started just doing practicing graffiti and not doing it illegally. And that story just resonated with me because we're told no so much in life that it's, you know? Yeah. But I'm so proud of you, bro. Yeah, thank you. And now you're just a huge advocate for mental health and you still work with us here and keep shit tight. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere.

I love you, dude. I love you. And so you meet this guy, KJ. You guys become fast friends. And then at what point, KJ does Sue introduce, release to you like this? How is he talking about release? I just knew that was his place of work. And then he, as we got closer, he told me about his story and how release played into that.

And I was like, oh, with me, I'm someone that appreciates, like, testimonies. I've personally dealt with my own journey with things. So to be able to connect with someone on that level, it was like, oh, okay, he's different. some people it's just like it's very surface level with them and they don't really like dive deep into that like their backstory but with sue it was like we connected instantly not just because of skateboarding not because of our age but also just because of like just i don't know he struggled and like i saw how he was like able to incorporate his his job into like yeah his everyday life too you know and just like things that he like deals with i love that yeah

Yeah. And what is your reason that you are, I mean, so like for those of you who are listening, the Relief Foundation, we provide scholarships to people who are struggling with substance abuse or mental health challenges from underserved populations. And for some reason that charity spoke to you when Sue started talking about it. Can you elaborate on that? I've always, I want to say, since I was like in middle school, I started struggling with like mental health. issues. I remember in high school I was diagnosed with ADHD anxiety and depression and I always felt

like an outsider and like growing up in Kansas City like especially like as a black skateboarder I was always like an outcast and so like I didn't know sometimes how to process like my feelings and also I didn't realize like a part of like what I was feeling was also just because like I was you know I had mental health issues and like at that time like that was like what like around the time I skate like early 2010's mental health wasn't as big of a yeah no one's talking about it yeah no one's talking about like now it's like it's trendy um we have social media where everyone's talking about it back then it was just like oh like you're weird and so like that's all through high school I felt like that even like as a young adult I felt like that

But I always, like, knew, like, there's people out there that are struggling with this, but they don't have a voice or they don't have resources to get help. Thankfully, like, when I was a freshman in high school, I, like, was in counseling and stuff. And that was, like, a blessing because, like, a lot of people don't have, like, that resource. So, like, to be able to, like, run for a foundation, like, release that provides those scholarships for somebody who, you know, can't really afford it. Like you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because like that, even though I had counseling, being able to actually have like a bigger support would have helped me so much.

And like thankfully, like I was able to have skateboarding that really helped me through that. But yeah, I just, I want to be able to raise money for someone who doesn't have those resources. Yeah. So when you were, I mean, I walk in this room today and I see you and soon, I'm like, these are the two coolest kids I've ever met. know like there's so much aura there's but like hearing you say you know I'm diagnosed with anxiety depression ADHD and I'm a black skateboarder growing up in Kansas City like you felt out of place were you being treated that way or was that a story you were telling you and like were you being bullied or was that a story I was being bullied yeah yeah like it still affects me to this

day just like how I go about certain things like I'm very sensitive um just because like I also played sports too and so it was just like one of those things where it's like skateboarding was like my hobby but i was also into like basketball and football and then everyone who i like grew up around who was playing all those sports they would always like tease me or just like kids at school would tease me because like oh you skateboarder like black tony hawk blah blah blah all this like shit and i'm just like i don't know it went deeper though like and then in skateboarding i dealt with it too because like it wasn't as diverse that's seen as it is in L.A. or New York where it's like you have different skaters from different background. Yes, it's a melting pot. Yes, it's a melting pot.

There was just like there might have been like one or two other black kids like in my community that skated. And then it was just like, oh, okay. And then they were like on their own thing. I just always felt like I was on my own thing like until I became an adult and then people were accepting me for like oh like that's dope you skate and then it became cool and now it's just like oh i'm able to like you know reap the benefits of being a black skateboarder now but it wasn't like always like that you know did you ever want to quit because it was just too much oh at times i think i wanted to quit because it was challenging um but like the love i had for skating like I just could never quit.

And so, like, I think that also taught me, like, about life stuff. Like, even when it gets hard, like, you may want to quit, but just keep going. And now, did you, have you stayed in contact with any of the guys or girls that you grew up with? And can't, like, do you have friends from those days? Or did you kind of pull the ripcourt and now you're in New York and kind of building, building fresh? I mean, I have a few friends from back home that I still, like, keep in touch with. But, yeah, I mean, when I, like, moved to L.A. from California. Kansas City at first I like made friends out there and then when I moved in New York

made friends out here so you man yeah I forgive everyone that like didn't treat me well but you know made me strong so I'm thankful for that yeah forgiveness is the hardest thing forgiveness is the hardest thing and I just you know I commend you for sticking with you sticking with it I mean I can't imagine you know I look at the two of you guys and I'm so proud you know like I'm so proud to be on this journey with you I mean I think it's hard for you talk about it like with social media it is very trendy a lot of people are talking about mental health a lot of people are talking about substance abuse but there's not a lot of people that are actually doing something about it so you're running for us

and you obviously sue with the work you do I mean it's it's very valuable it's very valuable talk to me about how mental health is perceived in the skate community I think a lot of skaters still look at it as like you're weak if you like deal with these things or they cover it up with like drinking or drugs. Yeah, I think especially for men in general, right, we're supposed to be tough. We're not supposed to have feelings. So I feel like that in itself like doesn't help at all. But I think skateboarding always from personal experience has always been like an outlet for me to help me like clear my mind.

mind and get grounded again so i think everything with that we all share the same like yes it helps but with like mental health and um yeah i'm not really sure like i still don't think there's an outlet for skaters i don't think besides skateboarding besides me and you we talk about certain things but i think like if you go to tomkins square park and like you start talking about skating like you know different brands and then you start talking about mental health i feel like if you don't really know somebody you'd be kind of weird if you were yeah you're talking to a random person about it which is just like terrible like you should feel like you can talk about these things like even strangers you know yeah because in other art areas it's like very

welcoming and skateboarding it's still like not welcoming which is interesting because it's like aren't we all here because we don't feel welcomed in like our community and it's just like I don't know like that still bothers me is that why you picked up skating though because you didn't feel welcomed anywhere else is that like did you was that an attractive part of this culture to you uh yeah I mean I always thought it was cool I thought was fun but I also liked how I could just do it on my own time like no one was like telling me how to do it when to do it um and it was just like yeah the culture was cool I was like oh everyone kind of just does what they want you know I mean no i remember i mean look for me part of growing up skating i mean it was about smoking a marlborough

red behind the shed it was about kind of wearing the baggy jeans and the chain wallet and the head knees and the backwards hat with the long hair and feeling like i was going against the system a little bit and i don't think i realize it till sitting with you guys here that there's probably actually a little bit of a stigma like you see a skater on the street you you make assumptions about how they're living their life yeah hundred percent of the way that they are dressed and mm-hmm no I agree

I agree like I tell people I skate like wait I would have never thought you skate like people that don't know me I'm like yeah like I skate and so what does it look like today

like if you guys hang like you're sitting in your house on a Saturday and you get a text from him like you want to go like is it skate dates like what it how are people who do with doing today

like you don't know I'm serious like I feel like it's you know we're either working on certain videos or we just want to go out and like not be too

stress about getting clips so it's like let's just go to a spot and like practice like new tricks and like we whip out the phones we get like iPhone footage so like it's kind of a mix

and then if we're working on projects we're like all right like tomorrow this is the spot like Greg's gonna meet us you gotta get clips for the video we'll be there at 2 o'clock like and then right after we'll go to this next spot at like five or six

so it's a little bit more like high stress level when like we're filming for a project but yeah i think like you know the day before i'll hit okay j yo like let's go just mess around at the park maybe get some clips learn something new yeah for you i think it's more serious right now for sue than it is for me i've kind of like taken a step back from skating just from like the the business side of it just because like it was a lot on me um and like i'm i do other things as well like i'm in fashion and stuff like that so i just like i still respect sue so much especially at our age that he's still putting 110 percent into this like he's been working on this video that's coming

out next week and i remember like i was there when he was getting his ender and i was just like this is crazy that you still have that drive like because i'm over there just like oh I was like working out yesterday I'm just like chilling or whatever my legs hurt but like he's still just like going going going and like that's dope where's the video coming out quarter snacks it'll be out actually tomorrow Wednesday September 10th it's like four or five minutes long so he's got some some bangers in there yeah it's good dude it's hard you know like especially not being like contracted or a pro skater I'm not making any money from skateboarding so it's just pure like my passion for it I fell in love with it when like my brother had a skateboard and like I was flipping it like on the side of a staircase and snapped it and he got super pissed off and then that Christmas I asked for a skateboard and then like just went on YouTube and kind of taught myself but like ever since then like I don't know I just want to keep doing it until I can't and like what separates you from the guy that's making

money doing it is it just skill or is it catching a break or someone seeing your video like do we just need to pump this video out it's so paid it's politics that's skate politics especially now like all the brands that were like skater owned they're all owned by like corporate people that don't know anything about skateboarding so they're like which guy which skateboarders going to make us money which one's going to give us the most attention which one has the most followers um but for the people that are like pro and making money it's like i feel like if their drive goes down they're like okay well i still have to do this because i need to have a contract to do i have to be in certain videos how many videos for how many minutes so like i feel like when they get down that low they're

like okay it's my job yeah in my opinion he's a professional like he works like a professional like he skates like a professional like you are at that level like honestly both of us are it's just like I mean we both had an opportunity to get pro models from like

our well year old sponsor we turned it down though it wasn't time because like I don't know I just wasn't ready I think I could be better I could get better I'm not at my best like

yeah and yeah it was just too early on yeah but see that's a professional mindset yeah yeah you know no it's inspiring i mean you just sitting here talking you guys thinking about the ways that that you connected just around kind of your shared journeys and and the fact that you have this bond you're going to catch your i mean you're going to catch your break you know i've been saying that for years it's going to happen maybe it's with this quarter snack quarter snack

quarter snacks yeah it's coming out you know we'll pump it out there to the inner waves and see we can get some love and so let's just real quick go back to berlin is when what's the date september 21st so we're like two weeks out two weeks away you're raising money anything you would like to say to someone who's listening obviously you have your your your fundraising page you have a personal journey you want to kind of reach out and touch that young kj who maybe can't is out there right now that can't afford mental health services for sure Um, honestly, like, to anyone listening, just like, don't give up. Like, no matter what you're going through, like, continue to push because it does get better.

And you, it's everything's like a mindset at the end of the day. Um, I remember, like, when I was younger, something always told me, like, just to keep going. And even when, like, things didn't work out, that's because it wasn't meant to be. And, like, door shut and that's fine. It wasn't for you. something else will open and like I never would have thought in a million years I'd be sitting here at your place of work like running for the foundation right and running a marathon to begin with I never would have thought I'd be running a marathon like I never thought about that but like

now I'm like passionate about running and like I'm passionate just about release so yeah do we appreciate you soon you know I have so much love for you KJ we're going to send you all the vibes we got a big crew going over there Caitlin's in the room how many we got going over 15 runners You don't have to win You just got to finish Yeah, I just want to finish That's it

And I'm sure we'll be seeing more of you soon This won't be the last time The release community sees KJ See Sue And maybe release has to throw down On a sponsorship or something Maybe we got to get the skate brand going with it Isn't it really skate too?

I'm with it All right That's a wrap for this little Quick chat impromptu Sue Okay, Joe, yes, sir. Let's go. Yeah.