The Zac Clark Show - Thanksgiving Sober Edition: Going Home in Early Sobriety, Embarrassing Stories & Real Gratitude

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

Thanksgiving can be beautiful – and brutal – especially in early sobriety. In this special Thanksgiving Sober Edition, Zac and Jay bring in guests Grace Adams (Release Marketing Director & former client), Dave Megenis (VP of Outreach & Continuing Care at Wellbridge, a leading addiction treatment and recovery center), and Michael Ahearn (Wellbridge Addiction Treatment & Research) to talk about:Going home in early sobrietyNavigating family dynamics during the holidaysEmbarrassing Thanksgiving storiesGratitude that actually feels realStaying grounded through holiday stressIf you’re sober, sober-curious, or simply trying to have a healthier holiday, this episode is for you.Connect with Zachttps://www.instagram.com/zwclark/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/zac-c-746b96254/ https://www.tiktok.com/@zacwclark https://www.strava.com/athletes/55697553 https://twitter.com/zacwclarkIf you or anyone you know is struggling, please do not hesitate to contact Release Recovery: [phone]/ releaserecovery.com/ @releaserecovery

All right, so welcome back gobble, gobble, gobble, to a very special gobble day before blackout Wednesday, two days before Thanksgiving, Zach Clark show. And in all seriousness, in my world, so I want to just paint the picture about this very special episode because we're going to have some very interesting guests. Some of who you might know, some of you might not know. But I'm thinking back to a time when I was 18, 19, 20, 22, 24 years old, returning home for Thanksgiving and that Wednesday night. And as Naya, who works for us, described it earlier and is still in her youth going home for Wednesday nights and not blacking out, but describing these moments for us, what are you going to wear who you're going to hook up with what are you going to drink and if

god forbid you show up to the bar on wednesday night and you're not drinking it's uh it's a problem and so there's that energy which we all know about and i always just thought about the number of people drinking and driving on the roads and some of the scary things that happen around the holidays a lot of the tragedy that happens around the holidays so there's energy there and i want to put that out there. And then there is this energy from people who are newly sober, right? In my work, I get a lot of families, friends, sponcies, whoever might be going home or welcoming someone home for the first time in the holiday season. And that can be really scary. Do you have alcohol in the house? Do you not have alcohol in the house? We're going to ask some people about that.

I think my general rule of thumb for that scenario is communication, right? So for me, when I I first went home, my first Thanksgiving, I'll never forget in 2011. When I stayed sober, I had a home pass to go home for Thanksgiving. And I remember working with my counselor, who I loved, his name was John Stemke up at Karen. And he said to me like, Zach, what would it look like to just have an honest conversation with your family about this? And where I landed was, I was okay with them drinking. I said to myself, it's actually going to be more uncomfortable if they're not drinking when I show up home and it's going to make the whole night like super awkward. So I said to them, hey, guys, like drink, do your thing. And if I need to, I will have the

wherewithal to step outside and make a phone call or go to a meeting or do something that's going to kind of quell the anxiety that I'm feeling. And ultimately, the reality of being sober is you're going to have to walk through some of these moments and get through them. That's like, and that was a huge notch in my sobriety belt being able to go home, go to Thanksgiving, be around it, get back in the car, go back to rehab. And I remember that Monday morning feeling so fired up that I got through it. And just a reminder of family members and folks out there and friends and you're not that powerful. You're not going to make the person you love drink. You're not going to get them drunk. And you're also not going to keep them sober. So knowing that and having some

of that energy and just, you know, the holidays in general can be awesome and fun and positive. I mean, in the recovery world, we kind of call it the Bermuda triangle, right? You got Thanksgiving. And then you got Hanukkah Christmas in the middle of December and end of December. And then you got New Year's. And if you kind of get through that into what will be 2026, you've done a good thing. And so we're going to talk to some guests today. I have, man, I go two ways with the holidays.

I told some people this week, I'm going to try and lean in. I'm going to try to be festive as heck this year. I'm going to carve from turkeys. I'm going to do all the gifts. I'm going to put on the Santa Claus outfit. I'm going to try and really feel the spirit. It just beats like being Scrooge. And I've been Scrooge plenty of times in my life.

So I think Santa Clark is coming out this year. And we're going to gobble, gobble our way through the end of this year. So our first kind of guess here, you do know them. We have... Santa Clark is coming to town. Nice dancing. We have Jay. Back from the World Tour.

that that dude i mean yeah i know i got said every time whatever jay whatever we don't know what to do with jay that's the truth the truth of this is we don't know what to do we're trying to figure out what to do with jay but we're going to get there and then we have our very own grace adams in the house who um has some experience blacking out um on thanksgiving so who wants to go first you may know it from sober not boring yeah SMB um hi grace hey how's going guys this is not her first time in the chair no shit she's a she's a she's a she's a she's a reoccurring like we're trying to do the thing where there's like reoccurring guests and there's personnel like isn't this what we were told to do absolutely i'm trying to follow

your lead absolutely but okay grace i think grace like you know young uh sober uh you know active on social media in the scene of the moment like what like take take us back to like the last thanksgiving you had drunk or sober drunk drunk okay yeah so while you were no let's go drunk yes so while you were riffing for five minutes I was looking back at all my photos from like 2019 2020 2020 2021 of the Wednesday before a lot of photos of me just like passed out was it bar so we'd always start like either at my house or at a friend's house to pregame and then sometimes we'd go out sometimes we would just stay there and like have people over um but yeah i it was crazy i mean i have photos of me just

fully blacked out and then the next photo is me like on thanksgiving morning like walking my nieces in like a stroller like on like it's super just so violently hung over um and yeah but you were in college at SMU and then like as a young person you you would get excited to go back you grew up in Baltimore right outside of Baltimore in Baltimore yes Baltimore zip code um and you would go home Tuesday or and like it's just rallying cry for everyone to kind of get together and prove to their peers that like they were the coolest person at their respective college oh yeah and then it becomes this like drinking contest right a little bit yeah I mean I had people one year I hosted at my house like all of the people I went to like middle school and like elementary school with and I was really hoping like all the cool kids would show up they did not and then I saw them out at the bar and I remember just being like fuck that and just drinking myself into oblivion because you feel like you're different right like you're coming back from college like you're older you're cooler you know shit now I was so cool in college and I was like okay so these people will know now

Right. No. What do you tell to the 22-year-old Grace Adams that's like struggling with their alcohol and returning home? Yeah, alcohol usage or just their identity and returning home to Baltimore for the first time or the second time. No one fucking cares. No one fucking cares. You shouldn't care either. Like I think people are so self-centered, including myself, that no one else is thinking about you the way you're thinking about yourself.

and knowing that now I spent so much time and energy wasted on people and like thinking about what other people are thinking about me and what other people are thinking about what I did and no one fucking cares. Yeah.

It's really freeing to know. That doesn't matter. I mean, it doesn't. I mean, like, yeah. Did you go back to the bar? Your first year of sobriety, the first Thanksgiving of being sober, did you go back to the bar?

No. No. I was actually in Florida. Your first, yeah, Tell me about that. The first holiday season. I was four months sober. And I was,

so you got sober in 2022. No, but August. August, 2020. So now we're into November of 2020. You're out of rehab. Are you, you're at release?

I'm living at release. You're living at release on the Upper East Side. And you, okay, so take us through this because I think this can be helpful for the people, the parents, the people. I had to like fight to get like to go to be with my family for the holidays because

they wanted me to stay. And now being on the, the other side, I kind of, I get and I see all of that. But in the moment, I was like, fuck this. I want to be with my family. I want to, you know, have all the same traditions and do all of that. My family was down in Florida for the holiday. And so I finally convinced my case manager that I was fine and breath of lies like every whatever, a couple hours. And I flew down to Florida. I actually made a TikTok about it. And I was like stretching, like getting ready to see my family for the first time after I got sober because I hadn't seen any of them, except my parents.

And so they picked me up from rehab and dropped me off at release. So I hadn't seen any of them aside from like FaceTime or whatever. And I was, I was very nervous. I remember like the day before I was supposed to fly, I had a full panic attack in the house. And I was just like, I thought I needed a companion. Like I was scared I was going to drink. But you're also feeling emotion for the first time. Yeah.

I didn't know what to do with anything that was inside my body. and I got calmed down and I was like okay I can do this and I said very clearly to my family like you said communication was all that was needed it was like I am not ready to have alcohol in the house like oh you were a no alcohol in the house gal wow I love it for the first holiday season I was like I wow just disrupting everyone's holiday grace huh shut the fuck up because you had to be sober okay we're we're on a thread here all right go ahead So yeah, I told them that I would really prefer that. And of course, they respected that.

My family's amazing. And it was kind of great that I wasn't home. Like we were in a totally different setting. I didn't really know anyone where we were. So it was just I was double fisting like seltzers all weekend long. And I actually went to a meeting down there with my sister. My sister went with me. She came as a support.

Yeah. Wow. And Florida A.A. is fucking nuts. T. Everyone's talking during the whole thing. Where were you? Yeah. Tampa?

St. Petersburg? No, no. Vero maybe? Euro Beach? Yeah. Somewhere. But your parents had some experience with sobriety, so they were probably fine with it, right? Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, they were totally cool with whatever I wanted. But I also remember being like very embarrassed that I had to like breathalize like I would go into the bathroom even though everyone knew I had the device and I was like sober and I needed to hit all my accountability checkpoints like I would still hide and go into the bathroom and like do my breathalizer. So at release when people take early in sobriety and they take passes, we basically send them with a breathalyzer so that they can verify that they're maintaining their sobriety, which is a little punitive I get. I mean, I really do, and I can understand that feeling 100%. However, we're dealing with people that are 30, 60, 90 days sober and trying to maintain that consistency. 100%. I definitely needed it. But I still remember feeling, like, I wasn't like fully like, this is my life.

I'm so excited about it. It was more like, I have to keep checking these boxes. And so what do you, I mean, like, I guess my question is how much to someone who's in early sobriety, because I know you've had an impact on a lot of young women who kind of follow you and you have this little group of people that have gotten sober as a result of kind of your vulnerability, which is so cool. But where, how important is that first time making it through,

getting back to New York and proving to yourself that you can do, you can do, you can do life sober. That's a very important. I mean, like we talk about it, it's a sober reference. Like I did that. I can do X, Y, and Z now. Yeah, like flying for the first time, that was probably more nerve-wracking than anything I'd ever done because that's where I drink a lot, like at airports, on airplanes.

And not even because I had an anxiety. I just, like, that was a place where I thought drinking was acceptable any time of the day. Any day of the year, especially on holidays. So I was more nervous about flying for the first time than, like, actually being with my family. And because I had talked to my parents before about, like, all the boundaries and stuff. But once I came back, I was like, I can fucking do anything. Like, this is. Yeah, I would say the family thing is probably harder than anything else because it's just so loaded emotionally.

It's so. the guilt, the shame, it all comes rushing back, those emotions of the people you've heard, do I apologize, do I not apologize, do I, do I, you know, what, what do I actually do? And so it's, it's hard not just for, for the, whatever, the, the alcoholic, but also hard for the family members because there's no playbook on how they're supposed to act either. And it's like, oh, I haven't seen my sister in four months and she's all the sudden, uh, sober. All right, Grace, what, what are you looking at?

You were talking. Yeah. What do you got? Are you tired? Am I tired? No. You look tired, Jay. I'm enthralled. I mean, I am tired, but no, I was listening to. I was actually thinking about like what you were saying about being around family, extended family and feeling embarrassed or like, let's just not talk about it. How do I hide this? And I was never able to sort of sounds like be the way you were, which is like, I got to confront this head on. I want everyone to know that like this is. I want everyone to know that like this is. my situation, um, and this is what's going to make me feel comfortable, uh, and asking for that. Like, what would you tell someone who's a 22 year old, 23 year old young girl going home and doesn't feel like they can be that open with their family? Which you probably had that experience. You probably did that years before and before you got honest about your drinking or they just knew. Yeah. I mean, I think then it's, you have to really figure out if that environment is healthy for you.

And then also, like, if it's not, then you need to figure out ways that you can take moments for yourself. And, like, if you don't do meetings, that's like, do something else for yourself that doesn't include your family. All right. I don't know. Jay. No, what I was going to say is, and this applies to the holidays, it wasn't up.

But, like, the first week end that I was sober was at. one of my best friends I'm not convinced you're an alcoholic we don't really know much of your story I mean have you ever had I mean you know my story Zach this guy see what offensive you got you're both being so defensive yeah all right all right Zach go ahead tell us something well I was what I was going to say is before I was brutally interrupted was that I was had a wedding my best friend's wedding and I was in the wedding we're in some hotel room in some you know you're sober this I'm like three days sober. Got it. Did not go to rehab. I'm just like, I have no idea what the hell is going on. We're in the hotel. Everyone before the wedding is getting absolutely annihilated. And I just,

I don't know why I didn't drink. Yeah. And then the night kept going on and on and I was like, how am I not going to drink? And the only thing I knew to do was I had a sponsor and I would go outside to be on the phone with my sponsor. And I really was debating, like, I'm just going to drink. I'll do it after this. And then I got further into the night and I started to see, everyone getting more and more drunk and where it was taking them. And I was like, I'm not going to get anywhere. Like, it's not going to be the night I want. And I got to the other side of that.

And I was so, like, I was proud of myself. I was like so relieved that I stayed sober. And I really felt like if I could go to this event, then I could do anything. And I think that applies to the holidays. And that's why I wanted to share that. And when you were talking, Zach, when you were just talking, I was just thinking about that, you know? I wasn't lucky enough to come through a program like release, man.

Most aren't, dude. Most aren't. And that's the thing. There's hope. There's hope for people out there this holiday season to stay sober and get through it just like you did. I mean, and that's where I think the behavior of health care field. I talk about it all the time is so unique in that, yes, there are amazing services and programs and providers and places where you can heal and rest and get well.

there are also a large community of folks in the real world today that are willing to help you for fun and for free which is so cool and is like you had that experience. Yeah. Yeah. And just get through it.

You could have accessed some resources to go to. I mean, I think I could have. And I could have also been incredibly, I could have been open with my parents. I think they would have understood and they would have accepted. When did you tell your parents?

How long did you, how long were you sober before you told them that you got sober? well I think that because I didn't know I was going to stop I just knew that I was in such a bad dark place that like I had to try something else and then like I met a person who had been in AA the only person I'd ever known in my life and I went to a meeting it was like a Friday in soho and I just walked in and like something really hit me and then I just kept one I kept stacking days and then I think I just started to change and like so probably a couple weeks in is when I

started to really say like I was sober but like I didn't really know. anything about it you know like I didn't know that you're sober so my parents yeah absolutely man I had I had like a weird thing like like my cousin who's a lot older than me he's like you know in his 50s he like pulled me aside we're in florida and like this was like a very awkward like male-to-male interaction and he's like I just want to say I'm proud of you like what do you mean so I heard you know I heard the podcast you and like when I hear that like it's hard for me not to be like it was such a nice like generous moment he doesn't know he doesn't know like i'm fucking this is 17 18 and that's what people like but that'll make people drink dude like the sensitive alcoholic that'll that'll that'll

spin them out and into a spot i mean like we talk about this because people take like alcoholics take themselves so seriously yeah and and the thought that someone isn't knowledgeable that you're sober and your life actually is better because you're sober and it's actually easier and they're going to come up and celebrate it, which is like, to your point, a really nice thing will spiral some people out. It's made me spiral. Girls have come up to me at the bar that I went to college with that I'm not like close with, but like knew me in college.

And way to go, slugger. So proud of you. So proud of you. Yeah. And like hug me and I'm like. Drunk, wasted. Yeah. Hammer.

Right. Right. And I literally want to punch this fucking people in the face. I'm like, oh my God. Can you be any more clueless? Like, don't talk to me. The hammered,

the hammered. Congratulations. I love you, bro. I'm so proud of you. It's actually hilarious. I've learned to love it. I embrace it now.

I need to get a lot of this fucking guy. Because it makes me want to hurt. Yeah. Maybe this is the year. Maybe. You're going home for Thanksgiving. No, I'm not.

Okay. You're not. But you stopped going to the bar right away. Like you changed it. Because I just feel like, what do I need to be there for? You know, like,

point. But you go out. Yeah, I love it. I mean, this year I will. Santa Clark. Santa Clark is coming to town. No, this year, yeah, I mean, Jersey Shore. But that's like, what's that? You love the second hand smoke. Yeah, I mean, it's chilled out. I mean, like, I, I did the Wednesday before, you know, a few times and the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. Yeah. You know, I was proud. Like, I was probably. sober, but it just gets to be a lot. And also, I'm 41. It's been 23 years since I've been in high school. Like, hey, dude. Yeah. The time of your life is over. Grace, NJ. Most embarrassing holiday drunken. I fell down the stairs at my dad's birthday party. Full, full. I was fully

blacked out. I don't remember any of this. It caused a huge scene. I honestly don't remember, but I remember my mom intervening on me the next morning. So I know it was really bad. Like we need to talk, honey. Yeah. Gina. Yeah.

What about you, Jay? Gina. I don't, I'm thinking about a holiday. I don't know. Like, what I was, what came in my mind was like, like, there was one, it was like my mom's birthday. That's a holiday, right? But like, like, I just, I had been up all night. drunk on other substances, muscle relaxers, like basically slept for 30 minutes, morning of my mother's birthday, and woken up to go out to breakfast for my mom's birthday.

And somehow I got into a fight with my parents and started yelling at my mom and dad because I was really just upset that I felt like I felt like a piece of shit and ruined the entire morning, like made my mom cry. my dad was like, what's wrong with you? And like, it's very rare to see like my dad get then animated. Then we eventually did end up at the restaurant and I had a panic attack and had to leave. I was like, I thought I was having a heart attack. And I was, and that began like me having pain attacks.

I never had them. Yeah. Dude, they're not pan. I mean, okay. Whatever. What are they then? Cocaine induced heart murmurs. So not panic attack.

It's not a panic attack. It's doing too much cocaine. Well, you're, you're not right. wrong so so so what you're not wrong um yeah no that's that's part of what's wrong with the world today it's like we we've we've we've we've we've we've clinical like you're doing too much no i i i definitely was responding to to drugs not necessarily anxiety but it did create anxiety of course whatever yeah i mean that's the morning after the morning after doing cocaine is the worst yeah what about you did grace go yeah yeah you

You guys both fell on steps or you both embarrass your parents. I just yelled on. I, I, you know, I was a very, definitely a blackout drinker. Definitely there were some Wednesday blackouts where I, I woke up the next morning and, like, ran to the window to see if my car was there and I had driven. And it's like, that's very scary. Yeah. Um, however, there was a, there was a, there was several moments of being very, very drunk in church, which I do not feel good about. Like, then we would go to the, the candlelight service and I would come directly from a party and it was just, it was never a good look.

And I think I would drive. So there's like a lot wrong with that picture that I'm not proud of. But there was a specific Christmas. Eve where I basically had, I lost my, what do they say you lost your lunch? I lost my lunch outside my bedroom window. And I think it was snowing and there was snow. And so like the, you know, the color on the roof was the next morning, not white. It was kind of. And then my mom knew.

And then I was just very, very, very sick on Christmas Day. And hungover. Hung over. Yeah. yeah but that's i mean that's that's really the extent of it you know then then there were some moments where internally i was wrecked like withdrawing from drugs yeah and those were actually the worst going somewhere with the family running like there was a ski trip that i remember i dropped one of my oxycott and 80s into the sink and you know there's that catch area of the

sink and i had to actually take the sink apart and i was like what are you doing? And I, like, I was literally getting this pill so I wouldn't get sick. And I got it out. But, you know, there was just a lot of that. And that's a recurring thing with you, dropping something? Like, like with the crack and the, and having to take out your car. I lose a lot.

I mean, it's still a recurrent. I mean, I still don't know. You lost your keys you there day. Every day. Yeah. I'm having a rough day. I'm having a bad day. We all are.

Well, I think we're doing all right. we're faking it jay's fucking fine i fit yeah you fake it too well it's good because you're gratitude right what's great great let's you know j we knew we brought you back for a reason what would be what i came back because i finished my world tour is anyone still here if anyone's still listening we're going to do some gratitude grace why don't you start us off yeah i i am grateful for my nieces and nephew you. They bring the holidays back to life and just being able to see the world through their eyes and playing with them is literally the best gift in the world. It's very simple. I'm grateful for my kids. Health and my children. Like, you know, like, I just, I know it's like very cheesy

and cliche, but you don't have to apologize for it. That's it. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm grateful to be sober. Oh yeah me too Yeah yeah me too No I mean You can say whatever you want But at the end of the day We tell these stories And we laugh and we joke

And we can look back on these times But it also does recall A feeling of just hopelessness And a feeling of This is my life This is actually going to be my existence Until I leave this planet I am a slave to drugs and alcohol

And until that idea was smashed And I got sober and that's where grateful stems from for me gratitude like this word that we use so much in recovery because it's I know the other side of this thing it's very scary yeah what's the difference between grateful and thankful it's probably the same hmm okay just thought I'd ask do you have a question I oh hit me girl so let me just say like Naya asked what do you tell someone or what do you tell people who are judging your sobriety? Yeah, that's hard.

I mean, I usually hit it dead on. But yeah, I mean, I think it's also part of the, I honestly don't know. What do you say? I would say nothing to this person. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Like the work is all internal. And once you do that work,

then you're not going to be thinking about Kathy from seventh grade. And if you are, let's go write that out because that person should not be taking headspace. But people ask me why I'm not drinking. There's a couple things you can say. Pregnant, always fun. Who's the dad? Dang. I just like to say I'm a raging alcoholic and that usually makes them back off.

And if they have follow-up questions to that, it's like, let's talk about what's going on with you because clearly there's something. Or just the classic, I'm not drinking tonight, but usually that involves more questions and people usually follow up with, how about just one? So pick your poison, but yeah, I always think direct communication and clear communication is the best. It also, no one expects that to come out of your mouth. So it also fends people off, which I love.

Levity. Levity has always worked for me. It's like, you don't want me drinking that night. No, no, you really don't. Or it's just like, why am I not drinking the night? Have you seen me? Let's go for a walk. I'll tell you all the reasons I'm not drinking.

You know, like if you could, the more you can kind of joke about the thing, they don't actually care. They're just, you know, looking for someone to drink with. But I think Grace's gave fantastic advice of just, and I don't know, my, like, I've, like, over 14 years of being sober, I've really have rarely had people ask me what's in my cup, why I don't drink. And I know there are people that have had that experience, which I have a lot of compassion for. I think I've just evaded those questions. And any time, I got comfortable with my sobriety quickly. And so my reaction.

to that question tells me a lot more about how I'm doing than the other person. If I'm very safe and secure in my sobriety and somebody asks me why I'm not drinking, any of those answers that Grace gave are great. It's more of the feeling I feel inside. Right. It's in my like, oh my God, I'm a loser. I can't believe this. Or is it like, yeah, dude, I'm just not, I just don't drink.

I stop drinking. Yeah. Why? We're not drinking tonight. Why does it matter? You know? Well, I'm not just I'm not drinking tonight. Because, like, early on in sobriety, like, there's so much that you don't know about what you're doing, you know?

And, like, now I just think it's like do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel comfortable to get through it. Whereas now it's like, you know, like we were, I was at a place with another couple, me and my wife and like they were a beer is like 12 o'clock. They're like, you guys are going to have a beer. And like my wife would not say why. I said, no, I'm an alcoholic, you know. It's over 17 years. I start going into the story. And not because I'm like trying to like disarm.

arm it. I just don't, it's such a different part of my life, you know? But does that mean you don't drink at all? No, I don't drink at all. This is great. I look, I care about both you guys a lot. I admire both of your sobrieties, you know, in different ways. And I think that the hope for this episode really is to provide hope, right? And so we're going to bring on some other guests here in a second after we stop making weird eye contact with each other. And happy Thanksgiving grace. Happy Thanksgiving, Jay. Thanks, Zach.

Very grateful, gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble. Yeah, we're back here with our next. Yeah, we're back here with our next guest on the little Thanksgiving speed edition. Dave McGinnis, Dave, where, tell the people, you work at Wellbridge. Wellbridge addiction treatment and research, yep. I'm the vice president overseeing missions. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. I didn't know.

You're talking to me, Grace. We're good. Dave is nervous. We love days. No, this is calm for me. Wow. Okay, good. Yeah. So working with Wellbridge visiting the city today. How long you sober? Coming up on 10 years. Wow, this month, I didn't even know. I didn't realize that. Got sober in rehab? Got sober definitely in rehab. Drugs, alcohol, both? Ivy heroin. You're an IV guy? I'm an IV heroin. Dude, I had no idea. I've actually never had a legal drink. Yeah. How old are you? Yeah, I'm 31. You're 31, dude. You know what? April I was 32. I forgot. Yeah. You look, you're, dude, you're, so you started in this field young. Yeah, yeah, 19.

Okay, so, so you're coming up on 10 years. So nine Thanksgivings ago, because people are very, very nervous about Thanksgiving. Yeah. Can you give us one or maybe like 11 Thanksgiving? Like, what did Thanksgiving look like when you were hammered? Do you remember any tragic stories around Thanksgiving? You know what? The most tragic was after about four and a half years.

years, I had a pretty serious relapse right here in the city for about a month right before Thanksgiving. So my, I don't know, what is it, 10 Thanksgivings ago, whatever that is. I was in treatment with a new wife, a month into a marriage, child at home. And I found myself, I was working in the field at the time, and I found myself back in rehab. Wait, so you were sober, and then you used again four years and years of writing. Yeah. So when did you get sober when you were like 16? 12. 12. Yeah, so I was 8. And no, so the first time I got sober, I was 18, I had the relapse at, yeah, 22. And then here we are, almost 10 years later. Yeah, I got married super young. I was a month into my marriage. Now, for the parents, okay, this is the big question we get. You're going home from rehab. It's your first Thanksgiving. Do you want your, like, for you personally, did you, were you a guy that wanted people around you to like drink? and carry on? Or were you a guy that was like, hey, I need everyone to put all the booze away because I'm going to feel triggered? Yeah, for me, it was actually a little bit more awkward that my extended

family kind of knew what was going on and they were being extra cautious. But for me, alcohol, it didn't, I never thought twice, you know. So I honestly prefer that people carried on as normal, but they also weren't drinking to excess either, you know. What's the most embarrassing place you ever shot dope? Oh, using McDonald's toilet water. in a McDonald's bathroom in the south. Deep south, the deep south. Is that where you from?

Yeah, well, I spent like 10 years in Charlotte and South Carolina before I came back up. So take us through that. This is great rapid fire day. We might have to bring you back for the full Monty. So you're in the South. You're shooting heroin. You don't have clean water

and you go into, just give me the ball. Well, you know, I barely know what I'm doing. I could hurt myself at any point. I think it was probably 17 or 18 at this point. you know, I had the syringe and there's people out there in the regular shared bathroom and I figured, well, I'm not going to go out and get water. And I remember thinking like, there's got to be diseases in this. But I needed relief in that moment. I just needed it. And so thankfully, nothing occurred. Did it taste a cheeseburger? No, it tasted like black tar.

No, I didn't chase that. You were shooting good heroin. Okay, on a little bit of a lighter note, know that you're a drug addict now and you're qualified, something you're grateful, something you're grateful for this holiday season. Oh my God. So I just had our third daughter, Harper Rose, named after my grandmother, Rose, and she's six months. So I'm grateful to have my whole family in one house. I was doing a lot of traveling in the last couple of years.

So we recently moved to Long Island. We're going to be in one place and everyone's healthy, you know. Same wife. Yep. Same everything. We're coming up on 10 years. him and we get the full. That's crazy because you're 20 years old and you stayed the other.

22, yeah. Kelly, right? Yeah, she stayed with me through like, you know, hey, we just got married a month ago and my husband's back in treatment, you know, and yeah, we're coming up on 10 years. Dude, good for her. She's a hero. We love her. Yeah, it's awesome.

Anything else you would tell families or or people going home for the holidays for the first time, newly in sobriety or anything else around the holidays that you'd love to communicate as someone who works in behavioral health care? You know, the one thing I was most. grateful for when I was going through it the first time is I always wanted to call home. I missed home. You know, I was 19. And but I'd get on the phone and I would just freak out because I didn't want to be in treatment. I didn't want to be bothered. And I would, it seemed like I took it out on the people closest to me, you know, just by picking up the phone. And every time my parents knew when to cut it

off, like, okay, got it. We'll talk to you later. But every time I called back, they were the same loving, supportive, happy to hear from me, folks, until I might screw it up again. But I never will forget that. Every time I called back the next day or two days later, they were just there and ready to support me in hopes that I had, you know, turned a corner. So all I could say is without our family and support, I probably wouldn't have made it. So it's really important. That's what you're grateful for.

That's what I'm grateful for. Family. Family. Love? Love. What are you grateful for, Jay? I'm grateful for my two children. to healthy children.

Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, we just, that's what it's all matters. Dave, thanks for popping on. We love you. Thanks for having me. Appreciate it. All right. Our next rapid fire guest, Michael Ahern, also fun fact from Wellbridge.

Mike, welcome to the Turkey Trot Thanksgiving sobriety special. How long are you sober? Be 12 years next month. 12 years. It's a treatment center in Long Island. Yes, they do great work. Mike, what was your? booze but what wasn't i mean it was booze when i was like what brought you to your knees uh heroin and

cocaine heroin and cocaine and you're a westchester kid westchester yep how long sober 12 years 12 years next month where did you know it was i was picking it up um yeah i remember even texting with my dealer at the time you know do you want pills powder fentanyl and there were times I chose fentanyl just because it was cheaper. So, Mike, holiday season, uh, do you remember your first Thanksgiving home after going to rehab? Yep. I know you went through.

I knew Mike very early on in his sobriety. Yeah, I would probably, probably wouldn't be in this chair if I didn't know you. That's powerful. Yeah. I met you in rehab, right? Yeah. Yeah. I was, I thought I, you know, this good looking guy, tailor made suit.

I'm 22 years old. And it's like, I'm like, all right, I'll hear him out, you know, like, like I'm the one with my shit together, excuse my language, but... You can curse, yeah. You were speaking at Karen, but I was also doing some, like, you know, business development. I think Mike was in treatment. They said, do you want to meet this guy? Because he's a candidate for your sober living.

And I said, absolutely. It's sober and I said sober. I refused a few offers. And they were like, he was the only guy in New York who I felt like, I could probably, you know, hang with this guy. Mm-hmm. And it was true. Man of his words all the way through. Beautiful.

I love that, dude. I love being a small piece of your dream. any um your first Thanksgiving home because we are talking about the holidays super weird as grace stares you down do you remember yeah it was super weird um big Irish family where you know at this point in time probably could have had our own AA meeting um but it was I was so awkward that first whole year because I was coming up on a year of sobriety that first Thanksgiving and you know the whole quiet loud secret that it was because everyone's like, oh, he's doing well now.

He looks good. And like, on one hand, if I showered and brushed my teeth, like, everyone's like, oh, he's doing so good. And I was like, yeah, this feels great, you know. And on the other hand, I'm like double fisting plates left and right just to eat my uncomfortability. But I did take that moment to, like, this is family. This is what it was all about.

And I didn't ruin it that year. Yeah. that was powerful what was your biggest fear about like being at the table being amongst family like what were you most afraid of someone saying or something happening that someone would have drugs and i would want to be in on it but you just got emotional dude because you had ruined thanksgiving so many years before is that the deal every year before like since i was 14 until i was 22 yeah yeah it was just kind of like you know waking up as people were getting to my parents house it's probably why it like

strikes such a core with me because, like, my parents hosted it. They had, like, 80 people, 90 people there. Drinking. Drinking. You were, because the question we always got from parents is like, do I let my kid be around drinking? Like, you didn't have a choice. You show up and you deal with people drinking.

I mean, I get that question a lot from families, too, and it's like, yeah, you have to, like, that's not, like, that's not reality. Like, they're going to be around drinking. And if they're really doing the deal and they're really in sobriety and they're doing the work, like, If you can't be around drinking, it still rules your life. Like, you have to be around it, you know. All right, three questions.

Yeah. And I agree with you. Three questions. Rapid Fire, they're going to be your most embarrassing story using something you're grateful for and what you would tell a newcomer going home for first holiday. Most embarrassing. Picking up from Bruckner Boulevard in the Bronx, going down. 95, I was, like, crying and I asked every religious deity to help or save me. And I pulled over on

95. I have drugs in the glove box. And I see a bright white light in my car. And I start to, like, go, oh, my God, am I having, like, an out-of-body experience? It was a cop shining his light in my car, because if you pulled over on 95, like halfway on the shoulder, cops probably don't want to know why. So I mistook a cop looking for me as a divine spirit. The second one, what am I grateful for? Did he get arrested? Oh, no. He like took one look at me and was like, I don't know why you're even here.

Get out of here. Oh, wow. Yeah. Maybe it was God. Actually, I never thought about it. What you're grateful for. Have a daughter, two months old. Best thing ever.

Oh, wow. Grace. Grace. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding. Third question, dude, what are you telling the guy or girl who's going home for, Thanksgiving, newly sober for the first time. Just embrace the awkwardness and weirdness. Like, there's no getting around it. You're going to have moments. It feels weird. You're going to

have moments. It's super awkward. You're going to want to leave. And then you're also going to want to stay. You know, just like with anything else, just power through it, stay. And at the end of the day, like, if it's recognized or not, like, you overcame something on that day for any holiday. But like in the cockpit, you're in the cockpit, you're at dinner, it's awkward, you feel very anxious, what, what would you tell them to do? I think he answered the question great. Do you believe in God? You know, like, no, but what I mean, like, practically, like, would help me very early on. Like a mantra or something.

Get up, go do the dishes, you know, like. Yeah, be of service, use your phone, call other people, go to a meeting. I mean, like, yeah, sure. Especially if it's their first sober Thanksgiving, literally do anything else that's not drugs or alcohol to give you some rest of it. Yeah. Yeah. Like literally anything else, even if that's going outside and like, yeah, you know.

I think a lot of people stigmatize what makes them feel better. Chief, chief, chief, chief. Are you smoking right now or no? No. Okay, good. My brother, Mike Ahern, we love you, dude. Thank you for coming. In all seriousness, be safe out there.

Happy Thanksgiving. Love you all. Gobble, gobble.