The Zac Clark Show - The Power Of Your Story, Phillies First Pitch, and The Why Of This Show

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

In this heartfelt solo episode, Zac reflects on the core purpose of the podcast and why telling your story is so important. He shares the nostalgic and powerful experience of throwing out the first pitch at the Philadelphia Phillies game, the hometown team he grew up loving and continues to love today, and the broader meaning such a momentous experience carries for the recovery community. Please listen as Zac delves into: The Power of Your Story: How sharing your experiences can create a ripple effect that reaches and resonates with others. Childhood Dreams: Reliving the moment of throwing out the first pitch and its significance in his life. Strike Out the Stigma: Emphasizing the importance of being vulnerable and authentic in our storytelling. Building a Community: How our shared stories can build a supportive community that saves lives. Surrender and Lean In: Embracing your story without reservation and the strength that comes from it. The Ripple Effect: Understanding how your story can help others and create a transformative impact. Twelve episodes in, we are grateful for the listeners who have joined us on this journey. Thank you and Keep Going. Connect with Zac https://www.instagram.com/zwclark/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/zac-c-746b96254/ https://www.tiktok.com/@zacwclark https://www.strava.com/athletes/55697553 https://twitter.com/zacwclark If you or anyone you know is struggling, please do not hesitate to contact Release: [phone] releaserecovery.com @releaserecovery

All right, super uncomfortable episode of the Zach Clark show. We're doing a little solo ride today. A little moment to reflect and think about why we started this podcast, where we are, where it might go, and really the intention behind it. I had had people telling me to do this for a few years, and most of those people were people that, you know, had been touched by my story of recovery or people that have worked with me. And I was hesitant.

I was hesitant. But then I realized, like, if we do this in a way where we're just simply giving people the same platform that I was given to tell their story, the number of lives that we might be able to help is going to grow exponentially. Like, it's not lost on me that my story is not unique.

It's not lost on me that my story is just, is just one story and quite frankly like I tell it so much that there's an element of getting sick of it right and feeling like it loses some of its weight and loses some of its power and to this point with this podcast the episodes and the folks that I've connected with the most are the people who have gotten vulnerable and really share their stories you know like Dr. McCormick coming on and as a doctor talking about writing himself scripts out to his wife's name just so he can go get high one more time and ultimately finding his way to recover. The De Antonio is coming on a father and a son and sharing this powerful story

that quite frankly anyone on this planet could benefit from hearing not just those going through a behavioral health care crisis. I mean the father-son relationship is precious and sacred and it's not always perfect and they were able to be vulnerable, you know, and share that Um, and then an episode I just did earlier today, which I think will probably release after this one with, uh, with Don Gallagher who works for me and is a woman who is 17 years sober and do not let her Brooklyn accent fucking fool you, man. She is on fire and helping so many, so many people. Um, and that's why we started this podcast and that's why we're going to keep going with it because I feel like the response that we've gotten back from the people who have tuned in and the people that, have listened is overwhelmingly positive just in regards to giving them a real voice to or a place to go to ask for help and it had me thinking especially this week because I had a really amazing week where I was able to throw the first pitch at the Phillies game shout out Phillies I'm going to get to that in a minute but I had this amazing week and it got me thinking

you know, about how really I've gotten to this moment in time by just being vulnerable and just being authentic and just leaning in to who I am without reservation and understanding that

if you are walking this planet, it is impossible to make everyone happy. It is impossible to have every person. one's support you're going to make enemies you're going to have people that question you and doubt you so for me rather than trying to manipulate who i am to fit this world it has been easier just to tell it how it fucking is and let the results work out for themselves and that's what you know i did when i went on tv four years ago and and it's funny i man i i avoided talking about that for so

many years because of just some of the shit that came along with it. And I'm at a place now in my life where I'm just more comfortable. And again, like, it's a moment in time that I believe was meant to happen because as a result of that, my story is out there. And by me telling my story, I know for a fact that others have put their hand up and said, I need help. and others have put their hand up and said, you know, I was in an abusive relationship

or I struggled with drugs or I had an eating disorder and I was able to step forward and come out of the darkness and into the light because you told your story first and that shit never gets old. It just doesn't get old. And I'm thinking of a story now where I was, well, before I tell this story,

I just want to give you permission, whoever's listening, to own your story and tell it to the degree that you're comfortable doing that because I don't care, I think it's Gary Vee, Gary Vaynerchuk that says like, you know, I don't care if you have 250 followers or 10,000 followers or a million followers, if you close your eyes and you think of a room full of your 250 followers, which you think is so insignificant, and you open your mouth and you start to tell your story, there are going to be people in that room who resonate and identify,

and and appreciate the fact that you're being vulnerable about something that, quite frankly, they're probably not able to be vulnerable about. And I have a lot of the lived experience now being on the other side of it to tell you that it's all worth it. It really is all worth it. For the 5% negative judgment,

sometimes hilarious DMs I get calling me a crackhead drug addict the other 95% has been so positive and I can take you back to a month ago when I was checking into a hotel

and I was down to my buddy Andrew Schwartz who's a good friend and is on the release foundation board was getting married and part of the party was staying

at the venue where he was getting married to his beautiful wife Molly and there was a young lady working there and I kind of went to check in and, you know, like, I was like, oh, do you need my ID?

She's like, no, I know who you are. Like, what do you mean? Sometimes I forget that I was on TV and what came out of her mouth next was really the reason we're doing all this, the reason we have the podcast, the reason I share my story. She goes, Zach, of course I know who you are. I'm four years sober. Do the math. and I said, okay, you were on the show four years ago. I said, okay, I watched you, and I got sober shortly after that

because I saw someone that was living a life of sobriety, and it gave me the faith to believe for one day that I could actually stay sober. And there she was checking me into this hotel, and it was just such a beautiful moment for me. And those are the little Godwings. Those are the little moments of validation that I fucking get high on today. Like that's the shit. And I have no problem saying it.

You know, and sometimes it's this fine line of like the God complex, like wanting to help everyone and thinking that I can save the world and just really like chopping wood and carrying water and trying to put it out there so people can receive it. And that was an example. And that stayed with me for a little bit. And that's not the first moment I've had like that in my life. I remember running the Brooklyn Half Marathon a couple years ago. I was actually volunteering and I handed a guy a cup of water and he kind of took five paces and turned around and said, I got sober because of you. Like, holy shit, you know?

And so he didn't get sober because of me. He got sober because, you know, something happened with the energy in the universe and my story hit his ears at the right time and then he was able to get sober but still that is the type of validation that I think we look for as humans to try to stay on the path that we're on and that affirmation so that's my bit that's my bit to open why we're doing the podcast why our stories do matter I feel like there are a lot of people out there who are pretty damn vulnerable that I look to

and a lot of them aren't famous a lot of them are not influencers a lot of them are just people in my own inner circles that have taught me the power of vulnerability that have taught me the power of checking in on one another that have taught me the power of being seen and being heard

because as human beings we crave that shit I crave that shit and so you know I'm not telling you that you have to you know turn the fucking lights on and put the microphone in front of your face and start telling your story in a very public way, but maybe just crack open the notebook and start to write some stuff down and start to write down your experience and look at moments in your life that maybe don't make sense to you

and be curious about how to think about that stuff and then how to share that stuff with another human being because that stuff is super powerful. and then the second thing that I want to rip on today and I'm not going to do a super long solo dialogue today I'm hoping that this is just enough to keep people interested and just enough to keep people coming back for more because we want to build a community here you know we want to build a community here on the Zach Clark show

because the name of the show came out of the sky and is super non-creative because every name under the sun is taken. So as much as I would love to come up with some amazing title for the show, the Zach Clark Show is what it is for now. And yeah, we want to build a community here. We want to build a community because community saves people. And for as much shit as there is out there around social media and so on and so forth, I think there's some positivity that can certainly come out of this show.

And so anyway, childhood dreams this week on Tuesday, the Philadelphia Phillies invited me to throw out the first pitch, which on paper makes sense, right? Like, okay, South Jersey kid goes on television, has following, can help promote Philly, can help promote the game, let him go out from the mound, throw a pitch, Everyone can be happy about it. We can take a photo.

We can get the fuck out of there. Cool. I had a great time. What people probably don't see the underbelly of that moment and the way that I really thought about it is a little bit different. One, the night was strike out the stigma night, which the Philadelphia Phillies, a major sports organization is out in front leading the way.

around the mental health crisis. So they do one panel a month during a home game where they bring in experts, behavioral health care experts, and they cover a mental health topic. And so they asked me to come and participate in this panel. And that was an honor. It's something that I'm very proud to be known for. I'm proud to work in behavioral health care.

I'm proud to have something offer to people. and so when they asked me to do that the first thing I said is thank you for for leading the way and thank you because 10 years ago five years ago even now today if you look across major league baseball I am certain that not every team is is having these panels every month in their stadium so the Phillies are are leading the way and I'm really proud of the team that I

that I root for when they asked me I immediately came back to my team here at release and I said well you know what we have to do we have to throw we have to throw a party, right? We have to throw a party because we need to show people the way that we show up. And so we went and we bought like, you know, 130 tickets to the game. We did a little Instagram giveaway that was, I hope, not cheesy. It was you just had to comment. You didn't have to like and follow. I'm joking. But anyway, we did this little Instagram giveaway and then we reached out to people and we basically said to people and this is something I'm really

passionate about. You don't have to be sober. You don't have to have an association with mental health. Like we are literally just trying to build community. Like there'll be some alcoholic beverages there. There will be like it'll be a safe space for anyone who wants to come. We did this giveaway. We worked really hard to put this an amazing tailgate together. We got down to South Philly like 2.30 and slowly people started showing up and slowly people started showing up. And it goes back to what I was telling about earlier. It wasn't just me that they were coming up to. It was the other people that worked at release.

It was the other people that were sober. And the connectivity that you saw, I've been to thousands of tailgates in my life, thousands of tailgates. This one had meaning. It had purpose. And you saw people having really, really pointed conversations, which for me and for what we do is exactly what we were trying to create. And guess what?

People were still drinking beers. People were still playing cornhole. There were still really good music playing. The Wawa was coming through hot. So we had it all, right? We had it all. And we made a safe space. And it was an awesome party.

And then we went in from the tailgate with like, you know, 50 people that I knew. And probably like another 50 to 60 people that I had no idea who they were. We had just met them. So it was like this potluck crew of human beings. He came together to go in and watch this panel and then watch yours truly throw out the first pitch. which is what I want to get to. The panel was awesome. We filled the room.

There was like 175, 200 people in this room, in the Phillies Media Center where they hold their press conference and there were some really amazing stories. This guy Jordan Burnham told his story. A couple of people there from the field. I mean, it was just an amazing, you know, our panel. And then the way they do it is the panel basically ends at 645

and I'm on the bump throwing the first pitch. at 650. So I'm like looking at my clock and like how the hell are they going to get me from this seat where I'm still talking and sharing about my story to the field to throw this first pitch. So I'm kind of freaking out. I'm sweating. Everyone's like, are you nervous? Of course I'm nervous. I'm like wrangling my family because they're coming on the field with me as well to participate. You know, and the fear that comes in is that like I'm not going to throw a strike or I'm going to throw it over the guy's head or whatever. At the end of the day, like what do we know about life like no one cares you know no one cares um we all are sitting there thinking about ourselves

so anyway i leave this panel i bolt off stage the guy this dude t j feral who's a total legend he's doing such incredible work for the phillies and that entire organization is just crushing it with the mental health stuff but he grabs me he's like all right we're going and it was literally you go into kind of like the tunnels of citizens bank park where the phillies play and it's like you make a left you make a right and you make another left and then right and there's three steps going up to the field I'm like holy shit like within 30 seconds I'm from the stage too I walk up the steps and I'm on the field at Citizens Bank Park which was crazy and my heart is like boom boom boom boom and there's a woman's staying there with a baseball and a headpiece on she's like

you're up in a minute I'm like up in a minute what are you talking about I'm like trying to take something in here. So I pick up the ball and then there's like three photographers. There's like put out the ball, right? Put out the ball. Let me take a picture of that. I'm like, this is, this is insane. So then all of a sudden, and this is where I get choked up because it's like all of a sudden they start to talk about me and they're introducing me and then I'm up on the big screen. You know, and you have to remember this is a kid that played baseball my entire life. It was the cornerstone of my. my relationship with my father, we still have incredible memories to this day, going to Philly's

games and my brother as well. And it's just Philly sports are embedded in who I am. And I always tell people, like, I root for the teams and I love the teams. And I'm like, I'm die hard and I want them to win. But for me, like sports today is about the guaranteed times throughout the year that I'm going to see my family. Like with the Philly season tickets and the Eagle season tickets, We get to see each other. I know, no matter what, eight Sundays a year for the Eagles, I'm going to see my family. So I have this, you know, association with baseball that isn't just, you know, like you're going out to the field and throwing the first pitch. And this is where kind of like I was able to actually find a moment to be present and ground myself.

And I kind of like looked up to the screen. They said, like, kind of like, go out there. And so I took that run. And it's a run I have taken many times in my life from the dugout to the mound. And I hadn't done it in, I don't know, 20 years since college. I'm 40. Yeah, 20 years. Not 21 I finished college.

And it's just like this wave of emotion started flooding back. You've ever played sports. It's like I never thought I would feel that way again. And it's funny when I watched the video of it, I'm like shaking my arm out. like I'm actually getting ready to go get into it. And I had a moment, and this is going to hopefully come full circle if you're listening, where I got to kind of look out to center field and think about what I was doing and what that signified, you know,

which is, you know, the Philadelphia Phillies let a heroin addict throw out the first pitch. They let a crackhead throw out the first pitch. They let this guy, you know, throw out the first pitch who, like, was left for dead. And so for me, what that signified is really the freedom that comes with recovery, the freedom that we get when we get sober. And I wasn't just throwing out that first pitch for, you know, the photo with my family that took place afterwards or the funny interaction with the Philadelphia fanatic. I was throwing out that first pitch for the, you know, the millions of people that are in recovery in this country, the people that, you know, know, know what recovery means to them. and that is so cool to me you know like that is what it truly is all about and my purpose in

telling that story is like I truly believe that when we surrender whether it's to a substance use disorder a mental illness an eating disorder something behavioral that is haunting us and we do the work and we get honest and we just surrender anything is possible anything is possible and so like when I'm when I'm out there and I'm looking out to center field I'm having this moment and I'm shaking out my arm I'm having these incredible emotions that I'm grateful to feel because I am sober and you know TV show or not like if I'm not sober I am very very very drunk and I'm not taking those moments to get present and really feel and really be proud of, you know,

taking that ball and slinging it towards home plate. And so it was much more than really just the first pitch for me. And, you know, it went by in a second. And it's probably one of the cooler things that I've gotten to do as a result of, you know, this kind of three minutes of call at fame that, you know, came my way three, four years ago and continues to kind of put me in these positions to hopefully have some impact and hopefully tell my story and hopefully let other people see. And then, of course, that night when I get home and I drive back up to New York and it's late, you know, I swipe open and I see some people writing me on social media like, hey, I saw you do that tonight. Like, I'm six months sober. I'm a year sober. You know, and that's the stuff that

really drives drives at home. Like I don't, I don't, I would tell you that, like, my DMs being open, sliding into my DMs means like, you know, I need help. And that's so beautiful for me because what that tells me is that's the energy that I'm putting out into the world. It's like, you want to DM me? Yeah, my DMs are open, but it's like, it's only in regards to how we can help you get past this moment. And so

a lot of what I talked about here today has to do with our stories where we come from. I'm feeling very nostalgic this week because it was kind of like this voyage home for this Phillies game and I saw like a lot of my high school buddies were there and

just so many people that hadn't seen this like the way that people showed up and supported me and you know it's just it's so big and so heavy and I feel like you know it's humans. We all want those moments. That's why we love our weddings, right? Like everyone's at that moment for people to be celebrated. We love our birthdays because people want to be celebrated. And that was a day for me

where I felt really celebrated. Not only did I feel celebrated, but I think, you know, the recovery community and kind of like what we represent and what we stand for was celebrated because the Philadelphia Phillies are progressive and they let someone like myself walk out to that mound and throw that first pitch and it's impactful and it's meaningful and it's a day it's a day that I'll never forget and so the moral of the story and the moral of this episode is really just you know we all we all have a voice we all have power um we all have the ability to help just one person you don't have to be living the way that I live I mean there's a lot of different opportunities to share and connect and be vulnerable, whether your story is similar

to mine or not. You know, there's a lot of people out there and spending 40 years on this planet, I've seen it firsthand the ways that two people struggling, right, when they come together, their shared experience can not only help each other, but then go out into the world and make this ripple effect and this impact that's just it's just indeniable man so or undeniable uh english english is i guess my second language or something anyway um i uh i'm about done here i i'm grateful for the people that have listened so far you know my hope is that we're going to continue to grow this thing and we're going to continue to just put our best foot forward you know we didn't go out and work with a studio

or sign with a company or like we just we threw the mics down and we put the lights up And there's a team in-house here working really, really hard to make this happen. So shout out to them, Grace and Kathleen and Jay and Margaret and some of the people behind the scenes that are just like, you know, I'm so blessed to have them on our team here at release and just really, it's all people that care about recovery and this message and what we're trying to do together. So we're going to keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. I'm going to say it until I'm blue in the face because at the end of the day, that's what woke me up. Like those words woke me up and they kept me going.

And there were moments during my early sobriety where all I could say under my breath was like, Cucon, Cucon, Cucon, Cucon. And maybe I'm just sicker than most. But it helped me and it continues to help me and I hope it helps you. And we'll be back next week with hopefully a guest because this wasn't easy, but we got through it. So that's a wrap for this. Peace out.