The Zach Nichols Podcast - All Stars 4 EP. 13 Review! | ZNP EP. 51

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

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I'm thinking about buying a Bronco, dude. You should. The new ones are sweet. I want to like a full-size black one with or I got to go black. To replace the truck or in addition to. I need a third car. And I got to buy a car that I like and not one that fits four car seats. Welcome back.

Are you going to run that? We should air that. I was going to say that was funny. We should start the episode with that. We should, right? Yeah. All right, I agree. Welcome back to the Zach Nichols podcast.

I'm here with my co-host, Mr. Zach Nichols. I don't like the introduction I don't like the introduction. Fresh off the plane. I think we should just rush you. Fresh off the plane. Fresh off a fresh out of hell. You know how I feel about buffets.

But maybe I should tell everyone. Maybe you should. You know what an all-inclusive resort is? What? Just one big ass buffet. It's true. And if you know me, which you might be the only person that does know this.

Okay. I hate buffing buffets. I do know that. You want to know why? Why? I don't know when that shit was cooked. It was probably served for dinner three days ago. You froze it and you heated it back up.

However, there were places where you could see them cook the food. I only trusted the amulets in the morning, and then I would be a glorified picker throughout the rest of the day. Like, you can't really fuck up pizza under a blue light, right? Right. So I have the habachi spot. They got some. Right. So, but like, listen, like also, too, like, it's just like you can't do bulk as good as you can do.

Like the first night, we went to this restaurant, Italian restaurant. They made your food fresh after you ordered it, you know, the way most people like it. and I got this lobster pasta and it was the best lobster ever had in my life and then I go back to my like resort where it's basically like three weeks ago mac and cheese re-served with hot dogs chopped up and doing it

and I didn't trust it I didn't trust the food. A ruby and gourmet but the last night I let my guard down after a couple glasses of red wine and they were cutting up these serving up these lobster tails right there they're cooking them right there so I had a few of those

and then I was like maybe I'll get that. some shrimp cocktail nailed that section had some of these new york strips i would killed it the last night that's a lot of seafood pounds the only problem with the last night is i had a 21 of what i thought was going to be an eight hour travel day uh with two kids so i woke up at 2 a m the day we were leaving and i said i'm going to be sick i said that out loud jenna woken was like what and i not walked not turtle log fucking sprinted to the bathroom i didn't even know what jend it was coming out of it could have been i think i could have chose i think at that point god was like listen you're gonna get sick

you're gonna have to travel with this so if you choose to puke you're gonna have to puke the rest the time but i just sat down and just fucking dumb and dumbered that bathroom you had a fork in the road it's either coming out this end or this end and you chose the rear i chose the rear so well i saw you yesterday oh brother no it gets better so then I'm like maybe this is just like a one-time thing like something didn't agree. No, every 15 minutes until the moment we left. And then anytime I walked by a bathroom from the moment we left the resort until we got to my car in Detroit, Michigan, Metro Airport, I would walk in there and just empty the tank.

And it was crazy that there was always something in there because I didn't eat. I ate nothing. I didn't drink any water. I was literally just trying to like expel everything on my mind. my system so that it was just an empty container. So every bank you passed, you made a deposit. Bro. Did I?

I paid my dues to the porcelain got 12 pounds. But I was laughing. I was actually super proud about my friggin sphincter muscles because when I was on that plane, there was a few times where I was like, it was, you know, like, it's not like you feel like, it's just like, it's, the feeling is the same when you're that sick of a fart. And I'm like, you can't trust it. So I, listen, I don't poop in airplanes.

so I was clenching as hard as I could for like three and a half hours before our flight fighting it battling dude battling it yeah if that was a one way you're talking five and a half six hours from a ruba you might not you might have had to change the policy you might have had to hit that bad and then

my kids like yeah I forgot you had a two and a one year old with you yeah I get but so they got Jenna in a fight after the first flight and after that fight that she got into with half the plane because of my kids were listen Anthony is like all boys

like he's a real like you know he him if you know what I'm saying I do all he him and then my daughter is a like it's like just like the second child is just a terrorist oh yeah I hate to say it you know you know it's hilarious so I ever time she knows what she's doing too oh yeah she just like she'll just she was like on the plane like they don't want to sit still they're not the type of kids that sit still they don't sit still they're not these good kids that you can give a tablet to they don't do that and so it was miserable and so some girl like hip check Jenna when she walked past her and told us, she was like, you and your kids are assholes.

And I just was like, ooh, we got a tough girl on our system. I'm just trying to shit my pants. And like, everyone was like, quiet. And, but we got off the plane and Jenna just, like, gets in front of this whole group of people. I was like, what would you like me to do? And my thought is like, hey, maybe we, we shouldn't fly with them anymore because they're going, like, I literally think that if there was a U.S. Marshall on that plane, he would have arrested my daughter. Udurrents and Beans.

Beans is arrested. That's how bad she was. I have a solution. So I'm not feeling so hot today. Yeah, I don't have a solution to that. Can't help you with that. When I saw you yesterday, I swear to God, I'm like, bro, did you lose 15 pounds? I lost 12.

Well, actually, no. So I dropped below. On your 6.3 and a half frame, it's a lot. Yeah, so I was, I started the vacation. Like, yeah, I was sub two Hyundai for the first time since my junior year of high school. I'm telling you, man. You're thin of shit. So this is what we need to do.

Me and Jenna, I'm going to talk to her and see if we can hire an opair. Maybe somebody that's beautiful that, you know, we can, so we can basically. Listen. I can travel. Okay. Oh, you want to travel with us? I'll help with the kids. It wasn't the help with the kids that was so terrible.

It was just the fact that, listen, nobody could stop my kids from misbehaving. Exactly. You wouldn't have helped. You know what I'm saying? No one would have helped. Literally, like, dude, like, the only thing that would have helped is if, like, I mean, what am I supposed to do? Like, spank him in public?

Like, listen, this is a crazy. part. I'll make that one. Yeah, exactly. I'd be arrested. Right. You know, but like, they needed to be spanked. If you know, like, if this was the 90s, they were getting their ass. Oh, if it was our dads, oh, yeah. That bouts coming off. Oh, yeah. My dad would whip my ass in front of that whole flight. People would probably cheer. I think people would have cheered if I would have beat them. But the crazy part is we had snacks. We had drinks. We had drinks. We had drinks. We had drink bottles. We gave them Benadryl. We gave them Benadryl. And like on the box it says, do not give to kids to fall asleep. I'm like, yeah, so what? You don't know our kids. We'll see about that. Yeah. Listen, if you're going to call child practice services on me, go ahead.

I had a nurse actually send me the drug list. And she's like, Jenice friend is a nurse. And she's like, listen, you can give them this much. You can give them this much. And we followed it. And guess what? It didn't knock either of my kids out. They powered through and were like.

True nickel. They were partying, dude. Like they got crazy. Yeah. And also, every time we get on a flight with Anthony, he takes all his clothes off and ends the flight and like literally only a diaper. Captain underpants. He literally pulled his shirt off, takes his shoes and socks off.

It's, he's feral. Oh, man. Other than that, how's Aruba? How's the wedding? Ruba's beautiful. But listen, if you decide to stay at the Rio resort, you might leave with the diaryos because, listen, there's so many nice places that. I always stay at the Stolaris, but you have to eat out.

So, like, the all-inclusive things, sometimes people can afford that. All-inclusive is more expensive than just eating what you want. That's how I feel. It is way more expensive. And the servers and the cook, they all have an incentive to make it amazing every time. Exactly, dude. That's why I do it that way. Listen, all inclusive is just not my style.

Just like the Chinese buffets never been my style. Yeah. I don't even go to the buffets in Vegas. Yeah. I don't. I want to order my food and I want it piping hot. And I made it for you. You know, the next time I go out to eat, they're going to know and some guys just

going to like splooge on my burger or something. Listen, this asshole was talking shit about, you know, whatever. But listen, I don't like buffets. Some people don't like buffets. It's a sauce. Well, I'm glad you had fun. Shout out. Congratulations.

Tony Ann. What's her, uh, her, uh, her, uh, her, her husband. Or is her husband's name now? Dominic. Husbands twice, Dominic. Congratulations, congratulations on getting married as many times as me.

Yeah. Which, that was impressive. Brings me to my next point. Yeah, show me what you got. What you're wearing there. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing,

but I just need to tell people. Jenna has an amazing sense of humor. As do I. And so if there, we joke around with each other all the time. So if you don't understand that, like your life must be miserable. I have treated a lot of people bad in the past.

I don't, I love my wife. and she's my best friend and we joke around. She bought me this shirt. She understands my humor. So like when you read, like if I post something on Instagram and it might seem like I'm being sarcastic, I probably am. Listen, it's just getting old. Like stop.

You're a bunch of sensitive sallies. I'm sarcastic as is she. Jenna's favorite thing to do is like scaring me, startle me. She put a freaking woman's tampon on the, on the, on the, that was hilarious, dude. On the refrigerator door. Yeah. So, like, if you're going to really come at me because I said... You were scared of it.

Oh, it scared of shit of me, dude. Women, feminine products are just frightening to men. Do you ever notice that? Yeah, yeah. No. I'm, like, afraid of alligators. To quote you, you're not as familiar with the plumbing. So you're just figured, you know, all those products.

I was like, I thought, like, some homeless lady, like, that, like, broke in our house and, like, slapped her calling card on the wall. I got you, like, the sticky bandits. Yeah, the PMS bandy. Oh, my gosh, I scared the shit out of me. She loved it. One time, though. The tampon takers. I got to admit, listen.

So one time I was showering and she dumped like a big ass bucket of cold water on me and I fucking freaked. I did not like that. I was like, like I don't know I locked the door when I shower. It pissed me off to no end. I don't even know why. Literally though, I don't go in, I go, every time I go in the bathroom, if my wife's in the room, I locked the door. I don't know what she's going to do to me. So if you guys are all mad about our toxic relationship, yeah, because she's toxic.

She dumps cold water. I mean, when I'm showering, she puts freaking period, sting. things. No, I'm just going, she puts, uh, she puts, uh, she puts period soakers on the, uh, on the fridge on the fridge. What else is she done? She's hilarious. Me and her are plotting to scare you and Tim Berets you all the time. It's fun. Pisses me off, dude. I don't like being frightened either. I scream. Like I scream so hard. Like if I'm like this, I'm in the garage working out. No, for real. I'll be in such a zone. Even if she opens the door to like throw a can in the, you know, a recycling thing, I will jump. So like I'm easily startled. I don't want to, I would

hate to punch her in the face if she did that. You know what I'm saying, like, whoa. I don't like being scared. Like, and I told her that, too. Like, that's a crazy part. I should never told her that. She would never do it. But when I told her,

hey, like, I'm really, like, don't do that to me. You know, don't wake me up either. Like, if I get woken up, I freak. Yeah. You know, so. Yeah, her radar's up. She knows how to, she knows how to push those bun.

That's why she's your wife. True love, guys. That's what it looks like. Um, so let's talk about the challenge. We had. Oh, we're going to talk about that today? Yeah. We have to.

Um, no, and we want to. because there's a lot to talk about. I'm joking. Let's start. I was making that was more of a sideways joke towards the gem turd. Yeah, the gem skirt. Yeah. The missing gem.

Yeah, the missing gems. She's like, I'm personally, I'm sick of the challenge. It's like, okay, bite the hand. No, literally no one. First of all, no one knows you already. Second of all, no one would know you before that anyway. So anyway, we'll keep going. Shout out to her, though, because like her dad's in a bad spot.

So I do feel bad for her for that. Absolutely. Prayers for him. I do. I do feel bad. That sucks. I couldn't imagine that. So prayers for Gemmy and her father.

Um, we'll leave it that there you go. There you go. We can, we can have, if you have nothing nice to say you shouldn't say it at all, Pierre. I agree. Um,

all right. So let's start. We're going to put a bow on all stars. First of all, um, Laurel, she is our champion, very deserved in my opinion.

Congratulations, Laurel. Number two was it? Number two. Yep. So let me ask you this. Do you think her performance this season was overrated or underrated or just right? Correct.

Correctly rated. Listen, I don't take wins away from people. That win. was earned. Whether it's one, listen, whether it's one, because you're just a dominant monster like you, or whether it's one because you're an absolute,

you know, you're just an absolute, like, political genius like me? Yeah, exactly. That's a win. So Laurel did what she had to do to win. I don't take it away from her, but I do agree with a lot of the people that are saying, had she not been given so many stars, I think someone could have passed her.

That being said, she got those stars. and she got them for a reason. So maybe she did just enough to convince them to do that. That's her win. Congratulations. Big win. I love winners. Sure do.

I would love to win another one. I would have loved to won a bunch more. So listen, you can't take a win away from someone. She got the win, right? And that's the other thing is like Cara said it's not the fifth sport because of things like this. You play the hand your adult and she played. She played everyone, whether it was real or it was actually playing. them because I listen if you were playing them kudos I've played people for games for seasons

too like it's part of the game that's a great point and if you get played then shame on you you know I feel bad for some people that get played but at the same time shame on you you're playing a game so if you let someone get to your heart enough to you to hand them the win good on you absolutely I could not agree more to me this is a win dude that that's how I feel to me in something no matter how you won you're going to talk shit of course wins a win you say okay well yeah fuck you people like me better that's kind of what happened it's a 100% what happened. And for Laurel specifically, to me, this is an underrated win because she did take a few

dailies granted. There was the one that Nicole. What do you mean? I just say like, it's a good win. Yeah. Well, I had asked,

I said, is it kind of an overrated performance, an underrated performance? Not to me. She had the dalyes. She put herself in position to be successful. You're right. And if you win,

it's, you can't underrate it. It's a win. A win is when. It should be boom. She's the winner of that season. She did what it had to do to win. Just like,

you know, people get mad about people who steal money. you get mad about that then don't get yourself in that situation let's switch gears we had car here last week which is absolutely wonderful it's good to see you guys kind of like uh have that moment so many years later describe her return as a whole after four or five year hey i mean it couldn't be it's a the per it's like her return is like exactly what made her great exactly at the house against her oh she's weird we don't like her and she just proves people wrong dude you see that girl up close and you realize the heart that she has and her quirkiness and what makes her her

there's i can't imagine how it is in the house when you know people like like she's literally walking around and people are are not viving with her but she just trucks on and she has that mentality like she's something special for real well i also think that she's just i think that she's so she's just so kind to a fault like laurel's talking shit about her behind her back what she was we all know it we all saw it and car was like oh do you want to play chess with me. And she talked to her about Nicole the whole season. And so, yeah, no, like she does put it wear her heart on her sleeve.

And you got to give her that every time. Like I said, she's one of the realest to ever do it. 100%. Does this season affect the way you evaluate their legacies or is it just kind of how this season played out, put Lauren on a position to win? What do you mean? Like, there's still two of the best to ever do it. Does it make one of them jump over the other?

Um, I mean, I, I don't. don't know if I ever chose the side of who I thought was better. No, you haven't, but I was just saying does this tip the scales at all for you? Well, I think they're both great at different things. You know what I'm saying? I do. I think that they're both great players. They're just so different.

It's like saying who's better like Shaquille O'Neal or like a great card. Like they play the game so differently. And so I don't know. It's a great way to say it. Like they're just like so, yeah, I would say it like this. It's almost like the Celtics and the Lakers. What was a better dynasty? It's hard to say.

Lakers, right now the Celtics have one more win than the Lakers, right? But would you say that the Celtics are that much better of a dynasty? No. You can't really choose. It's just that comes down to your preference. So it comes down to your preference of how someone plays. And I think Laurel is a very dominating person. And I think Kara is like just like the heart.

She's just a big, she has so much heart. Yeah. Laurel's a killer. She has heart too. But, like, Laurel also hasn't had to deal with the adversity that Cara has. it's a hard choice for me. I think they're both on the interchangeable, you know?

I agree. I don't think this tips to scales either way, especially the way that this final went down. I heard some people... Like, if I had to choose who I think would win in a physical... I think Laurel's the more physical player. I think Carr's the more of the endurance player.

I think Laurel's more well liked by her castmates, at least on this season. I think there's a storm of brewing. That concludes the free preview of the Zach Nichols podcast. So go to Patreon and subscribe to see the rest of the shit that we... talk. Go do it now.