The Zach Nichols Podcast - All Stars 5 Rivals EP. 10 Review! | ZNP EP. 102

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

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How about those strokes? Welcome back to the Zach Nichols podcast where we're here to cover episode 10 of how Nicole fucks up her relationship. But before we get to that, there's some key notes and news items we need to get to. Number one, there is a broken bridge at a local golf course. Pierre, would you like to explain how that bridge, that bridge, that wooden steel bridge was broke? Gee, have you heard anything about this? Oh, my gosh. All right, so there's some truth to that statement and there's some falsities to that statement.

So let's talk about the facts. The truth first. There is a broken bridge at a golf course around here. We won't say names because we do like the owners. We do. We like the owners. But do you want to explain what happened to that bridge? Yeah.

So I'm going to give you the play-by-play. So this is Monday morning. So keep in mind, Devin and Michelle are supposed to leave from Detroit on Monday. That has nothing to do with the bridge getting broken. Just there's a little bit back story. It has nothing to do with them. We plead with Michelle. and Devin to change their flight so that Devin can stay a little later.

We can go to the diner show and play golf on the morning. So Monday morning, we're out at this golf course. I'm ready. I'm up early. I'm picking up Devin from here. I'm driving him here. I'm going to Dix to get some stuff for Jordan. Like, we're ready to go.

Okay? We get there. We pay. We're on the first team. Devin goes, Jordan goes. I hook my first shot to the right. Okay, to the right. Slice.

Slice it. Yeah, a little slizzy. To the right. And by little. he means on another fairway. Okay. Yeah, it was a slice. All right.

Monster slice. He doesn't just slice. There's a small ravine. Muddy, mucky, marshy ravine in between green, fairway one and fairway two. None of this matters.

No, what matters is that he shanked one into another fairway and then tried to go ahead. I just can't get enough of this. I took a bridge. Okay. Over the,

the Martian Reveen. Now, the bridge about halfway through gets a little wobbly. All right. Gets a little wobbly. I wonder why. It leans forward to the right. So I take my side with my right foot and it's leaning. I put my hand on the guardrail.

It disintegrates. And I. To dust. Into the muck. And broke a bridge. I broke a bridge. It's true. It is true.

He looked like a fucking piggy rolling around in that mud. Do I have to post a, video? We probably should. We should probably make that an exclusive tier two thing because it is very embarrassing. And since then, I've called a contractor to fortify every chair and couch in the studio because I'm not trying to get sued by Pierre for breaking something that's fortified by steel. Okay. All right. Well, for the record, what do you think the weight limit on that bridge is? It wasn't 375 or maybe I might be slightly about that. It wasn't 400 because I definitely annihilated and just I broke it.

And the crazy part is that's not the first bridge. He's broken. Okay. Actually, the McAnaw Bridge went down in early 2000s when Pierre's family went on a trip to the UP. All right. Are you done? So in all seriousness, I've broken my fair share of hardware. Okay?

I've broken a bed before. Not in the fun way. Actually, just as a child, just doing a little, you know, like amazing catch. You throw the ball and you die for it. Bed broken. I've broken my fair shirt of basketball rims going up. Not set at 10 feet. Seven foot maybe, six and a half foot rims.

7.5 at Hilton, but I didn't break a Hilton rim because those are strong. But I've broken my fair share of basketball rooms. I've broken a lot of things, but a bridge probably the gold standard. What's next you, asshole? The golden gate, you're going to go take that one down too? Dick. modern civic engineering has no holds no flame to this man that's why that's why i wore the godzilla t-shirt no that's not why that's not why you're right that is that is why that is why i am

godzilla i will destroy your home and your toilet also the fetishini's got to go somewhere no no no i'm a clean pooper yeah that's why he every time pierre goes in the bathroom he has like a tote like a shower tote with cleaning supplies so he can scrub down the backstop of the toilet that he annihilates. Now, more importantly, there was a huge golf outing on Saturday in which I won again. No one's surprise. No one's shocked. Give a round of applause.

At this point, I am the goat of challenge golfers. I'm going to have to agree. As much as it pains me, I'd love to see you win, but I hate to see you arrogant, but it is warranted here. I only act arrogant when I beat other challengers because I beat you like twice a week I don't say shit Listen we can lock in whenever we want

But it was unsuccessful on my part It was successful on your part You were able to beat myself and Devin In a three way points match And I think you're the challenge go And I won the strokes game too Yeah no you won the overall And you won the points

It was a lot of fun So we did this thing when I played on Monday With these guys where you get one point for the front nine, one point for the back, and one point for overall. So we're going to have to add that to our game. However, you were dominant. You won handily. Even if we did that, I won.

I know that. I swept all the points. I know that. You won. You fucking won. And it was awesome to watch. You got in your zone there towards the end of the back half. I made a little run.

No, Pierre had four holes that he, three holes in a row that you won. Yeah. I took a point on 10 and then 11, 12, 13. I won out four. Then we saw a car girl who was kind of cute and I kind of lost it. Well, he got yelled at it for putting her head. hands in the snack jar. He literally, she opened up her snack cabinet on her, you know, the cart girl.

Her cart. On her cart. Yeah, her car. And this dude didn't wait two seconds to literally dive in face first. And the owner of the core, the manager of the course was also in the cart. And he was like, hey, keep your dirty fucking paws out of my ice. So she's training. It's her first day on the job.

And I'm rummaging. You know, I'm not like too invasive. It was like if you were to roll up to a house on things or on Halloween and they were just like, hey, take a couple pieces. but this dude dove in half his body was in the snack part. He came out holding stuff in each hand and he had a snack in his mouth. That is not true. Covered in water.

It was atrocious. We almost got kicked out of the course. It was more similar to like somebody trying to eat before sundown on Passover where it's like, don't touch the food. And it was more like that. I've actually never celebrated Passover. It's not for us. It's for our Jewish business.

Oh, I was going to say it never celebrated. No, it's not for us. Not for us. It's for them. But I am familiar with their. with their traditions from all my years of watching, the entourage. Anywho.

Any eating holiday peers locked. I know the rules. I know the rules. Why not? Rush Ashana, I'll be there. I'll be there. Yeah. No.

So, yes, you are the challenge goat. Of golf. Which puts me on Mount Rushmore. Yeah. And just for reporting purposes, there was a winner on Monday. I don't know if I'm allowed to say who it was. It was Jordan.

Why? I didn't know how to say that. I don't want to say that. I don't want to do it. having to feel, you know, whatever, because he did make some comments about Jordan's golf game in the pod. Devin 101. I'm sure you guys have watched it already. And if you haven't, go watch that pot.

And then go watch the live show, dude. Go get the live show. It was awesome. We had a lot of fun. It was a blast. It was truly a blast. And you guys, they're very, there's a reason that we do it limited. We only do three, four a year.

This isn't our bread and bread. This isn't what we do for our business. This is literally just to have fun with you guys. It's not really to make a dollar. It's really for you guys. So go watch that. It's a lot of fun. But, yeah, dude.

It was a great weekend. Busy weekend. We got one pot out of it. It is three in a quarter hours long. It could have gone another two, three. Easily. If we would have started that any earlier, we would still be on it.

Yeah, we need a part two. We'll do a part two. Maybe we'll have to go out to him. He's got a pontoon. Buddy. You know how I feel about pontoons. Buddy. That is an easy drive.

Ten hours. No problem. Something you do all the time on your way to New York City. Yep. New York, New York. All right. Any other housekeeping.

things we need to talk about. I have something that I want to ask for you guys. So it's something we talked about before now. We're heading to the off season. We're getting to the final, right? And you guys have asked for two things, right? Number one, you've asked for a listener question episode. So we're going to post a poll, or not a poll, but a post, where you guys can put

all your questions so that we can answer them after the season. So stay tuned for that. We try to do, maybe if there's enough, we can make two podcasts out of it. Yeah. Answer every question. Yeah, we'll do it. Unless they're still. stupid like how many testicles do you have like yeah yeah yeah no what size broad is pier where when

he golfs like those types of questions because we don't want to share that fuck you all right there all right first for the record they're very natural and fun to play with number one number two uh yeah so you're going to gather your questions and then with that however i hate to break it to you but we got a lot of guests this month a lot of guests that are part of recent seasons you're going to want to be locked in for. So I don't know when that's going to be, but we will be posting that. And then second,

in the off season, we've talked so much about covering. First of all, we don't know how long the off season is going to be because it depends on how quick 41 gets off, you know, off the press. We don't know that.

We don't know when it's going to be done filming. We are going to cover it. But in the time between the end of All Stars and when 41 airs, we would like to cover a former season. Yes. And if you guys would be so kind to let us know which one you want us to cover, preferably one maybe that I'm not on, that might be a little bit better.

But if we, if you know what, if I am on it, it's perfect because we don't have any guests in because I'm the fucking guest. Because you're there. Because I was there. Yeah. And, you know,

I was not sober back those days, but I might be able to remember some of the things. Might also embarrass myself. You guys are probably going to pick the one that I embarrass myself the most on. That's what I'm looking forward to. Yeah. But at least I'll get to watch myself with long hair because I do miss my hair. How about your muscles? You miss those? No, I still got those. Oh, really? Yeah. Where

They're at? Give me a flex. Like a puppet. Flex, boy. You're not my handler. I know. Uh, anyhow, hopefully we'll get to see the youthful Zachary Nichols. I have more abs now than I had done. I just have smaller biceps now than I had done. All shoulders and hips now. Okay. Well, How do you think I've had four kids before you? We're hip, core strength. All hips. We were actually joking before we turned the cameras on.

And I am St. Zach, the patron saint of fertility. There's been a lot of people getting pregnant around you. I've had women tell me that just from spending time around me, they went home and didn't even sleep with their husband, sat next to them and got pregnant. And we all know that all I got to do is kiss my wife. And I have, if I actually had sex with her,

we'd have twins. That's how good I am at the game. Oh, man. I mean, I guess, I guess, I guess that there is a small benefit of me not having a girlfriend for the entirety of us filming this show. Or the entirety of our friendship. No, that's bullshit. That's bullshit.

No, Pierre, Pierre's had plenty of girlfriends. Not plenty, but like. Plenty of one-night stands. Plenty of Olive Garden waitresses beckoning his call. In fact, in fact, his front door of his condo is, doesn't close all the way, the screen door because there's so many women coming in and out. It's just permanently open. Okay. All right.

We'll fill all the beans. His bedroom has bear rugs on the walls. It's like a cave. And that's where he defiles his wages. Okay. First of all, it's always consensual. And it's always. Listen, I wouldn't be on the couch if it wasn't consensual.

But the word defile, it just has some, you know, it's a, it's a, it's a wanted, it's a asked for defile. Anywho. In most cases. We will. 75% of the time. All right. Well, another person that's asking for the defiling seems to be Melissa because she is poking. I don't think she's asking for it.

I think she's begging for it, which is why this episode is episode nine or 10. This is episode 10. Episode 10. Nicole fucks up her relation, how she starts to fuck up her relationship. Make it easy on our girl. I love Nicole, but I would tell her the same thing. Okay. She does start. She does start.

She just can't control herself. We don't know exactly. Here's the problem. Okay, we don't know how solid that relationship is, but here's what we do know. Wait, wait, wait. She's calling it. Kim. Kim.

Okay. Well, she mentioned that she would make a great mom. So when you started thinking like that, I'm pretty sure the relationship's a whole lot more serious than we went on one date. Yeah. We just have to look at the facts here, which the facts are. is she's labeled my girlfriend. She said that she'd be a great wife and mother,

and she also dropped I love you. She swapped I love you. Tough to watch. I feel like you kind of have to do that after your significant other, who hasn't seen you for close to a month, answers a call from you, and you're sitting next to Melissa.

And I was scrolling through Instagram, I got to give Wes credit for this, because Wes said this. He said, why I'm going to discuss on his show, he said why the worst person to call your girlfriend with sitting next to you would be Melissa. And that's a compliment towards Melissa, and I couldn't agree more with Wes. Could you imagine your girlfriend is filming a show?

Okay? And she calls you, and you haven't talked to her in like a week or a day or whatever it's been, probably three or four days, maybe a week. And she answers it. And, oh, who's sitting next to her on a couch, much like this one, a sexy couch, but me? And she says, hey, Pierre, say hello to my partner. And I just start bouncing my pecks in the camera. Like, hey, I've heard a lot about you. while I'm porking your girl.

Wouldn't feel very secure. Would you get off that call feeling like, I'm really glad I was okay with this? No. And vice versa can be said because that to me was a enormous mistake. Truly. Especially if Kim was on Reddit

while that season was airing. So unfortunately for somebody like Nicole, I don't know if she did it to like make herself feel better about what was happening like oh if I bring her on this phone call oh it's innocent yeah I would never bring a girl on this phone call that I'm scissoring in the gym or kissing in the pool yeah or you know making a uh uh yoga ball sandwich with um either way uh I think a yoga ball sandwich is the least of Kim's worries well actually it's not I don't think it's really Kim's worries anymore but that concludes the free preview of the Zach Nichols podcast so go to Patreon and subscribe to see

the rest of the shit that we talk. Go do it. Now.