The Zach Nichols Podcast - Battle For a New Champion Reunion Part 1 Review! | ZNP EP. 32

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

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Welcome back to the Zach Nichols podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Mr. Zach Nichols. I'm very excited to officially announce that we're officially going golfing on Sunday. Let's fucking go. Goals up. Round of a fucking applause. Are you going to cancel on me, buddy? Leaving the kids at home alone.

We're doing 72 holes. Do you have support at the house? mother-in-law is will be in town Friday night. Millie's coming in. Gotta love it. That's awesome. Give her a shot out. Joanne.

Thanks, Joanne. Appreciate it. Putting her to work. Round of applause for Joanne. Capono. More importantly. What day is it today? It's Thursday.

My daughter was born on Saturday. Thank you. You brought it up because, you know, it was the next topic of discussion. Congratulations. You're playing that zone defense, that three on two defense. It's tough. Talk about. about it, man. Well, talk about the, I want to know. Syracuse up in my house.

I want to know what happened because we were supposed to golf this past Sunday. And then you texted us about 8.30. I want to say on Saturday, like, sounds good as long as my wife is not. I actually have the exact. I wrote them down. Come on. Give us the story. So, 420. Wow. That got real loud. Gee, what you doing, man? Made me feel like Morgan Freeman. Yo, chill. Jesus, loud. By the way, I know, I heard you guys say that I was mean to G. I'm going to take him. minute to acknowledge that I was mean to her, but she was just as mean back and we squashed. Are we cool, G?

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I took, I said in that, too. I did, no, I did. Gee, I did start it. But what I'm saying is, is that, you know, together, we're fine. We squashed it, right? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay. Sorry, 830, 430. It seems extra loud right now. Yeah, turn me down. Maybe that's your conscience. Yeah. No kidding. Go ahead.

Treating women bad. Talk about Saturday, bro. Stop with this narrative. The big Ike Turner. The big domestic V. Sleazy P. The big domestic V. Oh, my gosh, man.

Am I right? Absolutely fucking not. So now let's talk about this other scumbag on the couch. Yeah, let's do it. Scumbag number two. So there's a group chat. I'm in a few group chats that have a lot to do with golf. It's like, you know how you have your,

different groups. You're probably in like three of my different, you know, groups of four, whatever. So this is the one you call it. Pierre, Pierre, like names every group chat. I didn't know that was a thing. People named group chats now. So this is called Girl Dads Plus P. Yeah. Three Girl Dads, Amazing Fathers. And then there's me. So, Pierre, we're making plans of golf on Sunday at, uh, we're going to do a one tea time. Because I was going to church. I was taking beans to church. That was the plan. So 4.25 p.m. I text that group. I'm 100%. in unless Jenna goes into labor.

Due date is the 29th, so we should be in the clear. Should have been. Everyone says all the other stuff. Like, I'm a maybe on this. I was like the only, me and Pierre were the only ones that were in for sure. It was probably just being me and him. Normally works out that way. 11.26 p.m.

Jenna just went into labor. Second text at 11.26 p.m. pissing me off. Also at 11.26 p.m. I might still be there. 1127 p.m. Don't count me out yet. At 1145, my daughter was born.

I did not golf on Sunday. You were bill for speed and not comfort with that one. That was hysterical. I'm not built for that. So that evening actually has it, that was insane. And that is probably the most angry I've ever, I've been in a long time. Oh, well, you want to tell me why? I was fuming.

Yeah? You were mad? Oh, yeah. How could you be mad? I was mad. Tell me why. Here's why. So the night starts out is about 845.

Beans is sleeping. Anthony's about to fall asleep. Jenna's like, oh, ow, oh. And I'm like, oh, here it comes. Yeah. This is it. And she's like, oh, wait, no, it's just a cramp. She says, if you can move and the cramp goes away, it's just a cramp.

Okay. I'm like, all right. Advice from a pregnant woman to herself. Right. So then she's like, oh, oh, oh, I'm like, because I don't do medical emergencies. I don't do blood. I don't do guts. That's not my thing.

I pass out. I passed out. Number two. I'm baby number two. I passed out during the epiderm. I made it through and saw my daughter being born, but I was done at the epidural. I saw that never,

I came and talk about it. So Jenna was like, so I get my mom on the phone. Like, hey, mom, like this might be it. Like, be ready because my mom was going to come over, stay with the kids. Jenna's like, no, I'm good.

It's not going to happen today. I'm like, listen, don't tell yourself that it's not it because you don't want it to be today. Like, if it is today, like, this is not something that like, oh, I stub my toe at home. No, you don't, I don't do this. Like, I need to get you. This doesn't happen at home.

This doesn't happen. For me, I can't walk. I can't be the, I can't be the only person here when this happens because I'm on the floor. Yeah. Done. We're talking about a safety issue right now. Oh, man. I'm getting like, where this is how pissed I was. I'm like, so she said, no, I'm good. Go to bed. So my mom, I text her. I'm like, hey, no, she's, it's not it. It's not tonight. Go to sleep. I go to sleep. 1045. And for those of you who don't know, Zach is like snoozing at 10.45. Oh, cool. Yeah. Like the first hour or two of your sleep. Like you're dead. Dude, done. Like, can't wake me up. I'm a chill guy, too. Like, it takes nowadays, like, back in the day I wasn't. Hold on. Let's see. Let's see she's text me. She knows I'm telling the story. So let's just see what she's trying to say. Okay. Get her from the source, man. Oh, she just wants me to grab some groceries on the way home. So anyways. So I'm chill. So I'm chill. And I don't, and I don't like being stressed out. Like, I'm a, you know, let's get it done early so we can chill. So I always tell her, I'm like, when you start to feel anything, let's get to the hospital. And worst case scenario, they say, hey, come back in a couple hours. But at least then my mom's with the kids and we're good to go.

But she wakes me with 1045 and she's like, we have to get there now, if not 10 minutes ago. Now, mind you, we're going to St. Joe's and Ipsilani. That's a 40, 38 minute drive. Yo. Yo. The first thing I do is I just start cursing in my head and I'm like, this is it, man.

Like, I'm so mad. I'm like, I cannot believe my life has come to a baby's going to be born in a bathtub in my house. Like, I'm the only one here. I got to call 911. I'm like, this is a nightmare. I can't do this. So she's like, but like then Jenna's like full on like, oh my gosh.

Like, and I'm like, holy shit. You're in it. You're in water right now. I'm like, dude, I'm like getting. So I run onto the car. The trench is taking grenades, John. I call my mom. Yeah, dude.

Oh my gosh. My heart. I'm like, I'm like, you're nervous. sweating. Yeah. No, right now I am thinking about it. And because this is like real deal life stuff. That's the, the literally the point of life is what we're

talking about it. And I'm like, I will be damned if this life begins in my truck. It may have been conceived in my truck, but it will not begin in my truck. Fair enough. You know? Oh, dude, I'm so like, my heart's going a million miles an hour. And I'm like, okay, dude, if you don't pick your shit up, this is going to happen. So I call my mom. And of course, like, she's, you know, my mom, she's not old, but she's a grandma. She's 63. She's like, what's up? I'm like, you got to get here, like now. And she's like, okay, or, you know. So then I, you know, I go outside and I have, like, barely any gas in my car. So I'm like, oh, no.

So I started and I click the button. It says 108 miles. I look on where we're going. I'm like, sweet, 50. Good. We're good. Yeah. So I get my truck turned around in the driveway.

And now I'm like freaking out. I call my mom. Like, mom, like, I think it's going to happen. Like I got to get her to the hospital. And my mom is like, calling me down. She's like, all right, this is what you do? She's like, get Jen in the car. She's like, get the car facing out.

She goes, you stand with one foot in the house and one foot outside. So you can hear if the other two start crying. she goes, as soon as you see my lights, she goes, you get in your car and you drive. So I see her lights, I get in the car. We're talking about it like, you see my lights, leave them in the house for a minute by themselves. Yeah, I mean, come on.

This is like, my mom brought us up in the 90s, so let's be real. Like, she left us home alone a few times. Not at two, but like, you know. Not this young, but we're talking about 60 seconds. Yeah, well, dude, like, what do you want me to do? No, no, they can handle it. They're sleeping.

Right. And there's two dogs in there. So then I get in the car. And Jenna's like, Zach, like, she's looking at like, you know, you plug your phone in. And it says, it's like, 38 minutes. And she's like, I don't think we have 38 minutes. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. And I go, do we have to go?

Because you're on Valley is 17 minutes away, but I don't know if they take our insurance. So that's why we have to go to St. Joe's, like, right? So I'm like, you're joking. And she's like, no, I think I waited too long. And instead of being like, okay, I got this. I was like, you couldn't fucking. I'm doing it worse. And I was like, I don't care.

You're freaking out. So I called my mom. I'm like, mom, she said she's going to like, it's happened. My mom was like, you need to go to Huron Valley. And I'm like, okay, we got to hear on Valley. And she's like, I don't want to go to here on Valley. I'm like, well, we have to. And she goes, well, she goes, I don't know what to do.

She goes, Zach, what do I do? And I go, I go, I'm, I don't, I'm not equipped with the parts to tell you what to do. I go, I don't tell, ask you how to help maintain my nuts sack. Like, what are you, are you kidding me right now? My mom's like, on the, you know, my mom's on speaker phone. And she's like, Jenna, does it feel like there's pressure? on your pelvic floor. In the meantime, I'm like trying to not knot out.

And you're deciding where you're going. You don't know what's going on. So we get to the place where we got to turn right to go to Huron Valley Hospital. We got to go left to get to 23 to book our ass as Ibsilanti. Yeah. And I go. It's crunch time. And I go, Jenny, you have to make this decision right now.

You need to make this decision. Am I going to this other hospital? Are we going to? You're a T.J. in this moment. Make a decision right now. Bro. And I said, and I go, no one else in the world. can make this for you.

Yep. I go, this is it. Like, your mom, you got to make that decision. And she goes, I can make it. She goes, but drive fast, which if anyone is ever driven with me, you may have. I literally drive. I have nowhere to be. You could be like, you're an hour late, don't care going 10 under.

Yeah. Don't care. You think I want to spend more money to, yeah, you think I want to spend more money to fix my truck? No, sorry. Not happening. So I drive slow. So now I'm like, great. But here's the thing.

That drive, that's supposed to take 38 minutes. I did it in like 29. No way. Oh, yeah. Full Dom Terrell. Listen, you can give Jordan wisely any vehicle he wants. He's not beating me in my F-150 when my baby is on the way. I'm going to beat him.

So I will tell Jordan, give him a NASCAR car. I'm taking them in the F-150 all day. I looked at the analytics on the car. It was like average speed, like, 101. Dude, here's the best part. didn't say a word that whole ride. Jenna was talking and I was just staring right at the road. I was like pissed at her.

But I was like, I can't like, I'm just, I'm not going to say anything to her, but I'm like, I cannot believe that my life has gotten to the point where there's a 95% chance that there's going to be a baby coming out of her in the car. And I'm going to pass out. We're going to die.

So I'm white knuckling it. But the, like then she was having, like I think, full on Hollywood style contractions like, dramatic dude but i didn't even look at her just stared straight at the road like i was i think at one point i got an f-150 to like 117 i didn't care dude you were hauling ass to get to here to uh it's land listen when we got there pulled right up we went in the security i got her the wheelchair got her in there we're we're rolling in i go like basically pulled like the michael scott like through my

keys and be like i'll be right back he's like you're fine and i was like oh cool so i it's as I got her up there and I like gave her to the nurses the way to the world was I was like and I started cracking jokes like I was filling out the paperwork I was like this so happy dude like I was so elated that it was

like she could have been born right then and there I'm filling out the paperwork and then I had to go and get the bags I'm just like nice and chill so when I actually texted you guys was she was already in in there she wanted the epidural this is where it gets even crazier and so she wanted to get an epidural

so she got in this, that's when I was texting the group chat being like, damn, I might not be able to golf tomorrow. Listen, it's my third. Like, I don't even have to be there for the third because there's two other of our babies at home. So, like, if that happened, I can't even be held accountable, right? Right. So I'm like, I just got to be here.

I got her here. I was like so happy that my job was done. I'm like, let me chill for a second and text my buddy. No, I'm just kidding. I was texting you guys as I was walking in at least. And so I get in there. After the handoff. Yeah, I get to the top.

And I'm like, hey, I'm mister. They're like, she's going into the triage room seven. And I'm like, sweet, let's do this. Like, it's not going to. You know, I got like three bags chilling at this point. I got my slides on. Like, I don't give a rat. Dude, everyone there is better at what's going on than me.

I'm like, it's the best. It's like I felt like a kid. When you go to the hospital, the dad is so worthless and useless. You'll never feel more worthless than when you're sitting there. Your wife's in the paint, just like creating life doing God's work. Just dominates. And you're just sitting there like a big ass pussy, like, can't do anything. It's your fault.

Like, it is the most worthless you'll ever feel. Yeah. Anyways. But at this point, I'm like, I don't care. I'm cracking jokes. And so as I'm walking through, Jenna comes out of the room where they, like, do the initial exam. And they're like, she's 10 plus two, which means like, I think means she's fully ready for

the, like, the baby's in the canal at that point. So like, there's those contractions that were happening in the car where like the baby is, these are the ones that you need to be pushing. for to get the baby out. So that's how close it was. So anyways, like, I was like coming in. I'm like, what's up? And Jenna was like, don't touch me. And I, and I, and I, like, don't worry. And they looked at me like, oh, man, you better chill. And I laughed. And I was like, don't worry. I was like when she starts sounding like she's from New York is when you got to worry because that's when she's really pissed. And they all started laughing. And they bring her in the room.

And she's begging for an epidural, like a, you know, like a crack fiend. She's like, I need that epidural. I need that epidural. I need that epidural. Oh, ow, you know. And I sit in the dad. Like, and I'm just rocking, just watching. Like, part of me is like kind of like, this is what you get for doing that to me, you know? This is what you get. Because we could have been at the hospital at 9 p.m. Eating chick filet, getting the epidural chilling.

Getting sauced up on the epidural. The last two babies, we got to the hospital and we chilled for like five out. It was so relaxing. Well, let them know that the other two were past the due date, right? And we're talking about a week before. Yeah. So a little change in her mindset. I got to go out of it.

Anyway, she's going through it. And they're like, there's like doctors, nursing there and like, Jenna, like, you can push for five minutes and this baby will be out. They're like, so getting the epidural, it won't even kick in for 15 minutes. But like, she's just dead set on this epidural. Like, that's in her birth plan.

And like, as a guy again, like, I'm not going to tell you what to do. Do whatever you want to do. Like, I'm not the one with the bowling ball coming out of my crotch. You know what I'm saying? But you got to make a call just like you had to do it in the car. Yeah, but no, this is hers now. That's not me.

Right. That's the way. She's got to make that call. Right. Yeah. And so... Two very tough calls in the matter of 30 minutes. Begging.

So then she goes through like this like contraction where she's like, I've never, she screamed. And Jenna has a super high pain tolerance. Probably why we're still at home while she's in labor. Because labor started back like what, 830. We're still at home. Yeah. Right. And so she has a high pain tolerance and she's begging for this epidural.

They literally, I go over there because she screams like I've never heard her scream. She goes, sit the fuck down. And I was like, oh my gosh. So they go to sit her up to give her the epidural and they're like, oh, no. And they push her back down. I look and the baby's out. Quick. That's what it was.

I was like, oh, that was awesome. But I think because of like the first two, Jenna, I mean, I don't even know if am I supposed to talk about her birth plan. So the first two, I don't care. I do care. If it's wrong, I'm really sorry. Yeah, she had an epidural for the first two. so the feeling of like the like that's she went straight Adam and Eve with it like that's like original times like no epidural she just on medicated she did yeah straight gangstered it for real

yeah like how did she feel so she was shook yeah she was yeah and so typically when the babies are born they wipe off some of the slippery and then they hand them to the mom because they're you know your yams already out and they put them on the mom yep you know they do that hard to heart thing and so like for first baby like Anthony like everyone's like you have to do like skin to skin so that you can connect. And I've never felt like just more weird in my life, like taking my shirt off, like holding my son and like I just felt odd. So when Lillianno was born, like they get the skin to skin from mom for two hours.

Because it's the first two hours you have to be with on the mom if they can't, obviously. And so they did that with Jennifer the first one. So by the like I just felt so stupid like, oh yeah, me too. Like I want to hold my son my shirt off. No, I'm good. He can do that with his mom the way nature intended. Right. get over here and give me a hug

brother but yeah so lilyana like same thing right on jena like she was chilling and then I held her and like do you want to do skin to skin I'm like no no I don't yeah and I held her and probably why she's so mean to this day but no she's the meanest little one year old I remember like the coolest one year old you can say that but I've been in your house and this is you guys got to see when Zax with his daughter

and even when people are watching but When no one's watching, because I'm going to mum, mum, mum, mu, mu, kissing her from head to tell. So you can act. Oh, no, it's just not her. You're a weirdo. I don't kiss her. No, you know what I mean. Yeah, cheeks.

You know, there's weirdos out there that would take that wrong. But her cheeks, definitely. Yeah, he's a, he loves his daughter. So anyways, she comes out. Come on, you did skin, did you not? No, I didn't. Wow. Okay.

That's not, like, listen, that's the mother's job. I agree. And they're better at it. Still your daughter. Here's the thing. That's the heartbeat that she's been listening to for nine months. Got me there. I'm sure I'm going to get rosa for a lot of things I've said in the last 10 minutes.

But so, but Jenna was like after Carmela came out, she was like, hey, like, I need a second. Like I'm, she straight up was like, I'm like shook. That felt like the feeling. She goes, I'm shook. And so they're like, dad, you have to do skin to skin. I'm all set. Just give me my daughter. And they're like, you have to do skin to skin.

I'm like, no, I'm good. And then Jenna goes, take your fucking shirt off. So that's why there was pictures. me sitting there like a weenie, you know, with my daughter. I was beautiful. But as soon as they put her on me, she just starts, like, urinating all over me. I'm just like, great. This is disgusting.

Bother it. No, I, but like, no, I'm just saying the pee was disgusting. Holding my daughter was amazing. Of course. It's also just because there's, like, 19 different people walking in and out, like, writing stuff on a board, and there's just me, like, you know. And so, but then, you know, so I'm sitting there and, you know, the nurses are doing their thing.

and I'm getting peed on, so they're cleaning me up a little bit. And Jenna goes, hey, she goes, did you text my mom? And I go, no, I've been sitting here busy doing your job. Why don't you text your own mom? Like, are you freaking kidding me? And all the nurses were, but here's the thing. Like, they were laughing. But here's the kicker.

So the story wraps up in a bow. Okay. So then we're sitting there and I'm doing skin to skin. And Jenna goes, hey, I'm really sorry I told you to sit down, but I was on a lot of pain. I was like, don't worry about it. I'm until worse, you know, like sit down, are you kidding me? I was like, yes, ma'am, like, I was, you know, checking scores. Like, you kidding me?

Oh, my gosh. But then she said, wait, so she said, oh, she said, I feel bad. I go, why? She goes, because I honestly wanted you to golf tomorrow because you've been working really hard. And she goes, so if you guys want to still go, she goes, your mom is watching the younger two. You can still go golf. And I was like, listen, if I called Pierre and told him, hey, man, I'm still on for tomorrow, he'd be like, yeah, you are, but you're going to be golfing alone.

I'll be in the hospital tending to your wife. And when I called you and told you that, that's exactly what you said. You were like, yeah, no, I wouldn't show up. He's like, I would refuse to golf with you tomorrow or today or whatever it was. Listen, honestly, for me, I just need generous approval. If she would have called me and said it, I would have done yes, ma'am, whatever you say, but I would tell you, my man, stay your ass home. Yeah, stay in the house.

Here's the thing. It's not like she'd sit there alone and then, you know. You don't have to justify why you're not going to go on Sunday. I have fewer dogs. Like that's the thing I can always you gotta tell me. I have two other babies to take care of.

That's right. That's right. So yeah, that was an eventful Saturday. So we're golfing this Sunday. So listen, first of all, Miracle of Life,

congratulations. A round of applause for Carmella Nichols, please. Marla Jean. Carmela Jean Nichols. And the Miracle of Life, a big round of, another round of applause

for Jenna Capono, Nichols, please. For making two huge calls to deliver a beautiful, healthy baby girl. take me to my hospital that I like, no epidural, let's knock this out. Well, me.

No credit, no nothing, my man. No, I'm just kidding. At the end of the day, I need a Dale Earnhardt Jr. hat for what I did. And I will, you know, I was sitting here, remember when I was sitting here

and Jordan was saying, like, telling us about his race, what he's been, how he got into it. After I got that drive, I'm like, dude, I would smoke his ass. Take him.

Oh, gosh. Yeah. Easy. What you're forgetting, though, is that Jordan's the endurance guy. So, you know, if he gets you in his, raised, the endurance thing. I'm thinking, you know, but in that

moment, nobody's beating you. Do you know how comfortable my F-150 is? Listen, that's the story of Zach, bro. You give her sprint and nobody's beating you. The endurance stuff. My F-150, bro, I would smoke Jordan wisely. He can drive his, what does he drive his little French car, oh, is

Hyundai? What is that? Yeah, I think it is. Is it his Hyundai? Michael, find out what his sponsorship is. It is Hyundai. Get out. Get lost, Pepey Lapew. America's in town, and there's a pregnant woman in the in this another seat oh my gosh let's try hey listen now that jena's not pregnant um would you you know be cool with her going on another season real quick she can go on as many seasons as she wants all

stars five for jennah jennie can go yeah let's go round of applause jennas go on oh my gosh man that's amazing that's amazing i can't wait i never told i never said she didn't go go ahead i know i'm just trying to i'm just trying to start the uh she started the narrative here she always she always says she's like no i want you to go because you've a better chance of winning i'm I don't think I do anymore. Maybe. Listen, don't give her. She was on that stairmaster with CJ in there, man.

She's a tank. She's ready to go. Everyone knows that. I don't have to say it every time. Everyone knows how big of a beast Jenna is on the field. So she would definitely be focusing ready to go. So, wow. That's an amazing story.

Is there anything else you want to talk about in the personal life, man? Because that was incredible. No, I think that's, I mean, that was pretty personal. That was as personal as it gets. Thank you for being vulnerable. That was insane. Yeah. I want to do a little bit of housekeeping.

I want to let you guys know about the schedule real quick. House creeping? House creeping. Oh. How's keeping? No, no, for sure. So this week, for those of you who love traders and watch that Traders review, we had that Traders review for everybody else for free.

But we got some Tier 2 content coming out. Today we're going to talk about the reunion. And then in Tier 2, we are going to talk about All Stars 4 preview. We got our notes right here. Big shout out to Mark Long and the All Stars team. Round of applause, please. Thank you. And yeah, man, it's going down.

Oh, yeah. So next week, I would look out. I think we're going to drop the live show next week. So I'm excited about that for Tier 2. That'll be sweet. Yeah, that'll be fun. For those of you who didn't make it, you know, you wait a little bit. And if you always don't know on Tier 2, got to get on that.

And then we'll have some Laurel and Jordan action. So look out. That's what's going on with the schedule. Yeah, those are fun. Those are good ones. Intro views. All right. Let's get started with the reunion.

That concludes the free preview of the Zach Nichols podcast. So go to Patreon and subscribe to see the rest of the shit that we talk. Go do it now.