The Zach Nichols Podcast - Rivals 1 Episode 7 Review! | ZNP EP. 112

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

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All right. Welcome back to the Zach Nichols podcast. I want a big welcome for Pierre, Sean, Dittie Combs. Let me get a round of applause. Why are we, uh, why are you welcoming me today especially? Just because I just felt good. Appreciate that, bro. Thank you. Hey, it's nice to me, guys. For sure. What did you do last night? Do you do anything special? Did I do anything special? I might have done something wholesome. I might have done something debauchery. I'll let, you know, you think for yourself. Oh, I was just wondering. Oh, yeah, no. If you had big plans last night, you're out late.

I was out late. I went to bed. I didn't get to bed until 9.30. Well, that's late for you. Dude, hour and a half. Almost two hours past my bedtime. Well, I definitely had big plans because some of the things that I were, my plans were with were big.

I'll just leave it at that. Again, America's third worst Catholic on the couch. Bigger is better, bro. Bigger is better. Third worst Catholic. Is bigger always better? No. You can't think, yeah.

No, it's not. That's from personal experience. Speaking of that, I did have a personal experience most recently where bigger was not better. Now, for the record, we've talked many times. What was his name? No. What was his name? Listen, we've talked many times about the difference between being big and being out of shape

on an athletic way. You could be big and still be super athletic. I am not that right now. And I found this out at Yellowstone. Oh, yeah. Tell him about that monstrous height. So, you know, I'm not the biggest hiker, but I was like, you know, I'm an athlete. I can handle it.

And I did a- Athletic and being in shape are two different things. But go ahead. No, no, there's a little about mile and a half hike. And I, I'll do that. I said, okay, guys, I'll do it. A mile and a half now. There's some ups and there's some downs. High elevation, high decline.

But I'll tell you what. Elevation, I'll get you. All right, well, got me. All I can think of is how delusional some people are when they think that they can do the challenge because I know I couldn't do it but that really made me know like oh you guys are really really different. Oh hiking a mile and a half. Yeah.

Mile and a half hike. It got me. That's like getting knocked out in the first three seconds of a boxing match. Like, you know, I could do this. You get knocked out three seconds. I heard a hilarious joke on Instagram where it said you only lasted three strokes and he's like in my line of work. That's a birdie. So I'll take a birdie every time.

You mean those $300 REI boots didn't boost you through your mile and a half? Like, dude went to Yellowstone and only hiked a mile and a half. I don't know what's more embarrassing was you were not in shape to do that or you guys went to Yellowstone and only hike to a mile and a half. I probably did a half marathon a day in Yellowstone because my family wanted to see everything. A mile and a half, what did you do? When I say hikes. The scenic car tours? Basically, yeah.

We drive to the destination because they did that for me. My brothers and my dad, they would do the hikes. But for me, for the obesity, they're like, we'll drive to the destination. Yes, we'll drive to the desktop. You do the loop when you get to the destination, but I'm not doing the walk from destination to destination. I did it one time. I didn't even do the walk back.

I didn't even do the mile and a half back. You copped on an Uber back? No, yeah, I sat down and chilled while like the rest of the family came and they just picked me out. Oh, that's embarrassing. No, it wasn't that bad. That's really embarrassing. It wasn't that bad. In my family, you would never hear the end.

In my family, you would get shredded. If someone did that, my dad would make sure that you never. saw him again without him bringing that up. Oh, that's funny. We would get eviscerated. That's crazy. That's crazy. And they were,

so you sat there and what? So shot TikTok videos of yourself while your family went and got the car. 100%. I just got just got off this hill, babe. Yeah. No. You could probably, those boots are probably so unused.

You could return them for full price. They'd be like, did you even wear these? If we calculate the miles per dollar spent, it's like 400. $100. No, I'm just kidding. It's like $100 per mile per mile, basically, that I spent on those boots. You only hiked a mile and a half.

Yeah, so, other than that, you were walking from the car to the, like, patio thing that they make. Listen, the patios are cool, though. Some of them are really cool. Does that stress you out a little bit? There were some hollow ones. I was like, no. I was it talking about falling through those. I was like, oh, no. Does it stress you out that, like, a mile and a half was too much? Yeah, it did. It did. I faced death for the first time. I'm like, I'm out of shape. Because I, that should be, that should be.

And you sit on a couch and say anything negative about anyone's athletic performance or if anyone's not in shape. No, no, no. I'm not going on a show saying I can do this. All right. I'm not doing that. I, but I stand by the short distances. Give me, give me that hall, bro. You're still about to get one of these days putting on these pads.

Dude. I'm breaking you in that. Oh, my gosh. It's funny that you think that. Oh, I know that. No. Okay. You're an old man, bro.

I got people, you know what's funny. I have three hits left in me. And one of them is going to literally put you in the ICU. No, no, you're forgetting something. You have three daughters. So those kids are all accounted for, buddy, just in case. You need to be able to kill someone. I'm not going to beat them up.

Fair enough. That's what the guns are for. You think I'm going to, you know, yeah. I mean, listen, the gun collection is way crazier. Yeah, no, it's, it's good. How about you, man? Then I have a big pig farm in the back, be like. A little swine flu.

Dude, I've just been grinding, man, just working. watching i watched breaking bad somebody told me that like you got close to an 80 on the course is that true i did shoot an 80 is that real it is okay it actually is that's insanity that's one point for being in the 70s guys which for your golfers pretty impressive i was on a i was on what a lot of people would call a heater for two weeks that 80 though in fact was my demise because i felt young and athletic so i went home and decided to do a killer workout and uh can't Still can't move my arms over that. High five, bro.

No, I was hurting. But, yeah, no, I did shoot close to an 80. It's pretty impressive. Didn't Jordan break 80, though? You know what? I'm not sure. But I'm, I mean, he's a little, he's low handicapped these days. You're ready for the rematch?

Are you going to? No, I don't rematch people. Oh, yeah, you got it. I retire. Every time I beat someone, I retire the champion and move on. Okay. Well, it's one and two. David and Jordan will only get friendly matches.

Here on out. Okay. Well, we'll see who's next on the docket. So what else? Anything else we want to get into before we start this episode of you? This is a great episode. Oh, dude. It pales in comparison to the two coming up.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. See, I was kind of under the impression that this might have been a low voltage episode. Not for me, bro. It's not. I'm just telling you the next, the rest of this season is pretty freaking great. Yeah. This season is great in general, but the rest of it is pretty freaking electric.

Okay, I'm excited to see because To me, I felt it level up in this episode for a couple of reasons. So we come back from the Adam and TT elimination to find Mandy straddling Paula. They're talking with Tyler. They're wondering about, should Paula bang Mike? Should Paula bang Mike?

Mike's life trajectory, pre-rearold to now, which was probably less than like a year's time, is insane. He went from probably literally spending most of his day studying in a library to being the, the prize possession of a 39-year-old.

She's 39 on the season? Yes, I think she's around 39. She looks great. Paul is gorgeous. That doesn't matter. I'm just saying at this point, so Mike's fresh out of his first season of real world. I was doing the math. Oh, dude, that's a fine. Bro, that is a fine.

That is a fine. Take it out of my tap. Mike, Mike's fresh out of real world. So the oldest, they'll cast you to be in real world. I think Leroy was an exception. They cast him at like 25 or 6, but 25 is the cutoff. So let's just say Mike and Mike just graduated from college, right? He's talking about that.

So that's 21 to 23. So let's just say even if Mike's 14, it's a 15 year difference. It's true. So Mike is living every kid's the American dream. The only thing cooler than getting with a hot girl 15 years older than you would be like the kids that get to bang the teachers. You know what I'm saying? Like this is like this is it like like Mike's life trajectory has gone from zero to 100 in like 18 months tops and now he is the object of desire of a very thirsty Paula. 100% love it.

He didn't even putting it on. He's just he's being him and she's all about it. Yeah. I support this. I'm shipping this. You know what I like I like about it is it's so funny because like it would take a 39 year old girl to be like, yeah, I want to bang. the short, dorky, weird-looking nerd. Because it's safe.

Yeah. She's in control. Listen. I'm shocked that Mike hasn't been tied up and just absolutely, like, given a safe word, gagged and then said, here we go. I'm telling you, there's some restraint there because Mike is, you know, he's putting it on with the aura. He's got aura, as the kids say. You know, this is like a perfect example of, like, 21 Jump Street where they go back to high school.

and they think they're going to get all the chicks, but the nerds get the chicks. We're seeing this in real time in 2011 when this was filmed. Yeah, Johnny calls her an old lady in this episode. That's what I'm saying. Like, Paula's... But were they on the same real world? That concludes the free preview of the Zach Nichols podcast.

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