The Zach Nichols Podcast - Rivals 1 Episode 8 & 9 Review! | ZNP EP. 113

Episode Date: June 20, 2025

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Hey, Craig. We're back. Craig is back with a big Fettuccini. But yeah, very important news item before we get into the meat of episodes eight and nine of rivals one. What did I send to the ZMP group chat this weekend that proved that I was correct. Oh, do I have to admit to this? Yeah. I have to like say when I'm wrong. I have to take accountability. Absolutely. There is a giant crack on my screen. Plumbers crack, baby. What was the plumber's crack? Yeah, it was. Well, I mean, it was half of your ass. You were golfing with half of your ass out. And I don't think I was golfing. I think I was, we were in the, in the lot or something.

There was a golf cart. Oh, yeah. No. Your clubs in the photo. We were golfing, but I wasn't golfing. Okay. We weren't on the course yet, but we were at the course with a cart and our bags. Huge plumbers crack.

I knew I had a picture of it and I actually probably have multiple more. I just have a lot of photos. I just thought it was funny. I just thought it was funny that you found it by accident looking at father, like looking for a good father. I was looking for a good picture of my dad and I found a picture of your ass crack. Asking you shall receive. Yeah, dude. So you're wrong.

I'm right. I think, yeah. And that's like, the thing is, is me and Michael are actually just discussing that. That is, it's not like that Sasquatch in a rare occurrence. Okay. Look. That's every round, bro. Not every round.

Because it took you forever to find it. If it was so prevalent, if it was this thing that appears all the time. while because it means I'm not taking pictures of your ass every week. Well, if, you know, if I'm being clown in the other group chat, which I know I am, at least there's not as much. Actually, honestly, I've never sent any of those to anyone. That was the first time, but I take them sometimes because I'm like, look at this shit, this idiot. How can you not, how can you not feel air on half of your ass?

No, I know, but I just, you know, I do the tuck after. But anyways, that does remind me. So you knew the whole time that you had a PC and you never. That doesn't remind me. No, yeah, I was lying on the podcast. Oh, so you know. Of course, yeah. I know it happens. Is that like how you do built-in air conditioning?

Like when it's hot out, you just pull your pants down. But when that wind hits it, it's going to send a brisk chill up my spine. The truth of the matter is, I don't want to acknowledge when I get bigger. So my XL undershirts, like, that's like two sizes, too small at this point. And I'm just like, if I buy two XL and three XLs, then I'm acknowledging how monstrous I am. Which, by the way, Michael, can you grab that that tooth right there? Remember what you had requested me before I went to Yellowstone? Fuck that bear.

Right here, right here, right here, right here. Yeah. I did. Is it legit? Yeah, bro. I got in a fight with a bear. This is the bear tooth. You see it.

All right. We inspect it. This isn't a tooth. Yeah, it is. It's a tooth. Yeah, it is a tooth. I don't know if it's legit, dude. It is, bro.

Why is it not in a necklace? Oh, because I fucking killed the bear, bro. Those of you guys who follow me on my personal socials, check it out. Are you sure that looks more like a fang? No, it's a, and then bring me my bison, bro. Bring me my bison. Yeah, bro. Avery the bison.

Avery. You want to know why she's name? named Avery. Is it her? It's a her. Yeah. Why? Well, you know, she just looks very fertile. But her name is Avery because the young lady who sold it to me, she's like, name it Avery after me. I was like, you got it, babe. Do girls have horns? I know they're horny. Girl buffalo. I don't know. Bison. Bison. Bison. But anyways, still excited about Yellowstone. Any good trips planned? By the way, so there you go. You wanted a fan. You got it. it. That's a fang or a tooth? The bear

tooth. They need some white strips, don't they? This is not, this is not this is, this is, this is the color of your teeth. You're, this is foul. Yeah, it's gross. Cool. That's gross. All right, cool. So I killed a bear. I'm the man. You sit on it. I did my, sit on his face and suffocated. I just farted and just, you know, passed out. So anyways, yeah, you can clear. Dude, nothing. I've been working, man. I'm just

grinding. Us parents, we don't get. all this vacation and free time like you single bachelors i met someone man have even told what's his name his name no dude come on what you met a girl yeah i met a lady i met a girl i've actually known her for a while but kind of got romantic more more recently so yeah she might be the one bro okay for real what's her name that i'm not i'm not doing that i'm not doing that am i going to ever know her name? Yeah, for sure. I'll tell you after when we're done, but I'm not putting it on wax. You know what I mean? But honestly, guys, like, it's been a while since I thought like this actually might be like for real. So I had a beer. I got the feelings. Do you? Oh, no. I know. I'm

done. I'm cooked. I'm cooked. Say goodbye to all those tea times. Oh, no, no, no. That'll never change. Yeah, right. That'll never change. Yeah, sure. No, no, no. Listen to me, guys. A lot of guys change when they get married when they have kids. I'm sure I'll change a little bit, but I'm golfing whenever I want. I'm traveling whenever I want. I'm going to be him. Always. Right.

But those opportunities are going to, what I'm saying is it's not that you're not going to do it when you want. You're just not going to be able to have, it's just not going to happen. Oh, I'm just not going to want to do it. Not that you're not going to want to do it. There's just going to be like a lot of other things that come up.

They're going to be like, yeah, I actually can't do that today because I have to do this. I'll be there on Wednesdays whenever I can. That's a promise. But moving forward. See, the problem is with guys like you is you say I'll be there every Wednesday every time I can.

You haven't been there for like four Wednesdays. Well, if I'm in town, if I'm in town, I'm there. You were in town last night. I had a proposal party. Oh, do you know, Gen Z, that sounds? Brother. A proposal. When it's family, you get clowned if you don't show up.

You have a big family, though. You got to pick and choose. It's obligation. It wasn't your brother. Wasn't your brother. That's all you have an obligation to. Well, all right. That's, it's deeper than that.

Okay, so let's get back. By the way, before we get started, those of you guys have been wondering, we're going to post it. week. But for you insiders, September 20th, San Diego. Live show, baby.

It's fucking locked in. I cannot wait to announce the guests. It's going to be a busy ass September. Yeah, so that's next week. That's going to be live next week. So just be ready to buy your tickets. Save your money. September 20th in San Diego.

We might have a couple other things cooking, but that is guaranteed. Lock it in. You can do your flights. Do all that. September 20th, San Diego, lock it in. Okay.

So, rivals one, which, by the way, this is, I'm getting why this is, Probably one of the pilots. The real, like the meat of the season is just starting. Like we're getting into like the, we're getting into the.

The stuff that everyone remembers. The entree. Yeah, I see. I see that. And everything before this was just apps. Yeah. Just a little little finger food. Crab cakes in football.

That's what Maryland does. But in this episode, we do get to the, the big stuff. We come back from the Johnny and Jasmine elimination at the loss, the hands at the loss of Carr and Laurel. And the announcement of the location change from Costa Rica. It's the first time that's ever happened. You ever been to Argentina? I don't think so.

Outside of the bedroom. In real life, have you been to Argentina? Because I'm sure you've, you know, dabbled with Argentine women once or twice. No, no, no. Never? No. Oh, okay.

I've been to, Virgil. I've been to Patagonia, but I've never been to that part of, uh, pedagogia? I don't think I've, I got a pedagonia joke later.

I bet you do. Unfortunately, your jokes are usually terrible. They're corny. And the only people that laugh at them are your mom. I'm the king of corny. No, some people like them. Shout out to Kirsten.

Kirsten, I love you. Kirsten likes my jokes. Love you, Kay. Anyways, Carr suggests a toga party and the festivities commence. People are making out. This is dark. Yeah. This is a dark party.

Oh, yeah. I almost feel like I felt uncomfortable. I've never watched this part of this episode. This is like the part of the episode that I typically just like grab the thing and scroll through. It's uncomfortable to watch. The dark eye shadow and the face paint. not even just that. It's just like the things happening at that party

and we're only seeing a small fraction of it. Just think how weird it really got. Yeah. This is like a ditty. This is a gross group of people. This is a gross group of people because we see this and then we like, I'm not saying them as individuals as gross.

I'm saying this selection of human beings. It's like a cocktail for disaster because we see it several times from this episode on where you're like, this is a disturbed group of humans. They're not healthy together. What's happening? this house is disturbing and it starts tonight at the toga party disturbing is the best word i mean we see

mike mike and paula per usual paula is two hand choking mike as she makes out with him two hand choking and the look and the look at her face is like i'm not actually i'm joking but i'm not actually joking no i'm into this yeah um in a dominant position jennon also have you ever been two hand choked during a makeout ever two hand choked one hand choked is guaranteed but two hand choked that's intimate two hand choke is like when charges need to be pressed Yeah, even if it's a girl There's not a lot of coming back from two-handed chokes Dude, they're drinking this green stuff

What is that? I know you know what it is I've been dying to know what it is That concludes the free preview of the Zach Nichols podcast So go to Patreon and subscribe To see the rest of the shit that we talk Go do it now Thank you.