the zurkie show - do they deserve your friendship

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

be around people who care about you.be around people who want more for you.be around people who challenge you to be better.and if someone doesn't do it... let them find someone else.sending you all lots of loves and peaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

If somebody really loves you and really wants the best for you, will they beg for you to stay in your hometown when you're thinking of leaving? Will they tell you that you won't find anything better than what you have right here? And will they stop you from trying something? If that's the case, I don't think they're good for you. I've had to step away from people to preserve my happiness. I've had to look people in the face and say, I can't be your friend anymore. And that is probably the most gut-runching thing because I want to be everybody's friend. I want to be there for as many people as possible.

But some people do not deserve your energy or your time. And it is a weird thing about adulting that you have to actually manage your friendships and you have to figure out who are the people that are going to be there for you in your corner, rooting you on when life gets hard because it will get very hard. and usually there will be a winter in your life. There will be a season where it just feels like you are alone, and that is when your friends matter. And if you have bad friends around you, oh my goodness,

it is a nuclear winter. It is like it's bad. The people that you spend the most time with, they kind of exist in your mind as just, a go-to. Oh yeah, that's that's John, bro. Me and John have been homie since we were young. That's that's Sandra, bro. Sandra's the OG like, of course, like she's super good for me. And a lot of the time when we spend a lot of time with people, we kind of like to cocoon ourselves in this environment where we only know our relationship to them.

but I think that you've definitely felt this because I know I have sometimes you grow away from people you realize that you don't really have as many things in common and actually as you begin to change and you begin to take up more interests you begin to stop being chronically single and find somebody or maybe you realize hey I need to be alone and I can't be going on two men's all the time

you kind of realize that I don't have as much in common with these people in my life as I thought I did. And I think two things can change. I think one, you actually can grow with the person. You can continue to change and you can still save this relationship by also reciprocating the idea that that person that you're friends with, they will change. They will not be the same forever. I wish that was the case, bro. Like, but honestly, people need to grow. That's how you meet the coolest people.

And I think that you need a character arc. And you, right now, you're not going to be the same person. And next year, you won't. I'd put money on it. But another thing happens where that person won't like the fact that you're changing. And oftentimes this happens when you have kind of a fragile relationship, or you have a relationship that's kind of built on situations or built. on misconceptions of who you are.

If somebody really loves you and really wants the best for you, will they beg for you to stay in your hometown when you're thinking of leaving? Will they tell you that you won't find anything better than what you have right here? And will they stop you from trying something? If that's the case, I don't think they're good for you. And maybe they were good for you.

Maybe they were great for you. Maybe they really did make you laugh, like belly laugh, and you had to gasp for air. But that's just not you anymore. Now the question arises like, Zerk, how do I leave somebody and do it in a polite manner? And this is a hard thing. I wish I had a better answer for you because I'm not good at this either, bro. I've ghosted people. I've been one to kind of just ignore texts.

I've been one to say, hey, I didn't see your message. I saw your message. I saw your message. I didn't respond to it. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play.

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Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that and enjoy. Via rail, love the way. And you know what?

I think the more that you pursue the friendships that matter, the more that you pursue the relationships that matter in your life, this is going to sound kind of messed up, but those friendships fade. No three-point fade. They just naturally kind of those people will find the people they need to be around. And it doesn't mean that you're better than them. That's a common thing. Like, I think there's sometimes a notion of like, I need to befriend people who are doing way more.

And, you know, I think you should aspire to be around cool people. But I also think that there's merit to having friendships that are real and people that won't try to use your friendship as a transactional thing. They'll actually, like, invest in it. And they'll go to, you know, a Chicago fire game with you. And they'll, they'll, they'll sit in the snow and go sledding with you at age 24. Like, those are the friendships that matter. And I think that there is a very toxic culture of just, like, I'm a man, I don't need no friends. I'm a solo person. I don't need no friends. Like, people will only disappoint me. But I think to mistakes and to disappoint people as human. Now what matters is just being around the people that

actually are good, that aren't trying to sabotage you in some kind of odd way, because a lot of people are weird, man. They have motives. They want you to do bad so they can look good. They don't want you to find a significant other, because then it will make them reflect on the reason that they are truly single, and it's hard for them to find anyone. Whoopsies, I might have said a little too much, but it's true it's true a friend that immediately talks down

your new person that you're speaking to and you're trying to like get in a relationship with what the heck really that's that's a good friend I mean I'm not gonna say oh maybe no they're not they're not okay I'll save you the the brain power they're not

and in a similar sense like miserable people love to stay miserable and if you've been miserable for too long and you're done with it and you want to move on and you want to meet people that aren't going to complain every time you hang out with them because like I've been in friendships where 80 scratch it 95% of our hangout was complaining and it's cool you know you should crash out on things you should be disappointed that you know you got ghosted you got stood up like those things hurt you should be upset that things are the way they are right now in your life, but anchoring yourself to people that want you to stay that way because they have been that way for a long time

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and discover actionable solutions to reverse it. It will slowly disintegrate your life. The last thing I want for you, Zerke's show, is for you to one day go out with your friends when you're a little bit older in your hometown bar or wherever and realize that you didn't change and realize that you had dreams, you had aspirations, you wanted to be around people that mattered. And as you look around in the people that you are with, you realize that if you were not there, those people would probably not care. Sometimes it

takes a very uncomfortable conversation. Sometimes it takes like one of those awkward, just like, I'd have nothing more to bring you. And I've had very few of those conversations. I've had more conversations where a friend has checked me and been like, bro, you are falling behind in our friendship and I need you to lock in. But I've had a few where I've had to say, hey, I think we're better off just not hanging out. And just don't think it's right. and I'm sure you're going to find the person that you need, but it's not me. And those breakups for some reason,

like friendship breakups, correct me if I'm wrong, but those hurt the most. And I think it's because there's more, there's more to friendship than we like to realize. You know, there's this old ancient, I think it's Roman saying, friendship is magic. Have you guys heard of this one?

I do think that friendship is truly beautiful and you should keep the friendships that matter. But the ones that hurt and the ones that hurt you, you are doing yourself a disservice by staying there. And now I'm getting a natural fade here from the snow. The snow is deciding to end this episode of The Zerky Show. Today's episode was filmed in Snowy Colorado. I hope you guys enjoyed it. If you want to tap into more of the Zirky Show, it is the Zirky Show everywhere you go all across the globe.

So if you want to tap in, tap in! And Zerky Show, enjoy the snow if you have the chance to. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. If you're going to break up with a friend soon because of this, I wish you the best of luck. And just know it's probably not going to be as bad as you think. It's going to be worse. No, I'm kidding.

It really won't. honesty always wins remember that honesty always wins and you might feel kind of weird about it in the moment but in the end it'll be worth it and as always if you're trying something new just know that i believe in you and i am sending you lots of love and am i bro i got to like go home