the zurkie show - does adulthood steal your happiness?

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

you need to rekindle the joy you felt as a kid and find a way to embrace it as an adult. if not, then you risk searching for it in places that might not be the best for you.we don't have fun because we choose not to have fun.if you didn't have a good childhood, I'm sorry. the one thing I urge you to consider is this; "how would I treat myself if I were the parent of my younger self?" reclaim the bad as your own. you'll be proud that you did so.send you all love and peaaaaaaaaaace!https://stan.store/thezurkieshow⁠

I was a really bad father. I was a really, really bad father. I wasn't there for my kid when I needed to be. And, you know, my kid was young. And I regret it. Wait a minute. Zerkees Show has a kid confirmed? No. I'm talking about the kid that we all have.

It's the one that we kind of ignore because we're adults now, even though we're like 18, 19, 20, 21. And when you talk to anyone that's older, they're always like, you're a little baby. Oh, you're 27. You're a baby. Bro, what are you talking about? I'm a baby. What do you?

I remember when roly, rolly, rolly with a dabber ranch came out. I'm not a baby anymore. Okay, relax. I remember when Clifford, the big red dog was on PBS. Relax. Know yourself thumb. It's our inner child. Our inner child really dictates a lot of our happiness.

We don't even know it, but it's true. There are so many components of your childhood that influence a lot of your adulthood. A lot of your habits that are good come from childhood. A lot of the things you enjoy and you're interested in come from childhood. A lot of the things that you long after that were deprived in your childhood. in your childhood is what you want in your adulthood. And there is a disconnect

between a lot of our inner childs and a lot of our adult bodies. There is. There's this kind of understanding that adult life is not one of fun. It is one of suffering. It is one of emotional turmoil. It is one of

destruction it is it is slowly decaying you as a human being and it's like who who did this who made that kind of assumption because honestly i think your job as an adult is to build your playground it's to build your playground it's to build the things that you know you would still enjoy as a kid and build it into your adult life which is not easy it doesn't look the same. It's not playing with toys. Maybe if you like Legos, you're a Lego collector and you build those like huge Star Wars ships out of Legos. That's sick. I'm not even going to cap. Like that's dope. Maybe it's that. Or maybe it's something as simple as like you grew up playing a certain sport and you love that sport so much. And now that you're an adult, you feel like,

oh, I can't, I can't indulge in the same way. I can't enjoy this sport in the same way. Why? Add it to your playground. Like, why would you, why would you deprive yourself of that? I have work. Okay, I have work too. Play soccer. Find people to play soccer with. Reclaim it. Like, a lot of us, maybe we have interests and hobbies that were kind of like, you know, laughed out of us. Go back to them. You're no longer, you know, some of you are not in high school anymore. Some of you are in college. Some of you are in, you know, a completely different phase of your life. Why would you just run away from things that make you very happy? Maybe as a kid you had a certain place that you would go to every year with your family.

It was a tradition. And it was really, really beautiful because you felt a connection to your family there. And now you've gotten older. Maybe family members have passed away. Maybe family has changed for you. And that meaning is very different for you. Why would you not try to keep that tradition alive? Why not?

If you have good memories with it, if there's memories that you're like, no, I don't like that place, that was bad. All right, fair. But why not choose a new place? There are so many of these small details that we have to understand, build our playground as an adult and make us have and continue to have this childlike wonder. because I think a life without wonder and without appreciation is just it's suffering. Because that is like the stock human experience. Like you're going to five guys. You are going to get a burger.

Now you can choose if the burger is going to be just a plain cheeseburger. Well, even just a plain burger, not even a cheeseburger. Or you can like deck it out and make that thing taste good, bro. I want all of it. If I'm going to spend my money, like if I'm going to live my life, give me all of it. I don't care. Yeah. You put mushrooms on my burger and caramelized onions.

Yes. I don't even know what that is. Sure. I want it. All of it. You need to create a space for your inner child to come out of you. What? I mean that you need to have a moment where you can allow yourself to be vulnerable and allow yourself to just be you.

And maybe that's not with people. I like to journal in private. That's a big thing I used to do as a kid. I used to write a lot. I used to draw a lot. And I journal a lot. As an adult, I love journaling. It's such a good release of emotion.

It's such a good way of processing, like, some of the dark spirals I have sometimes. It's a good way of remembering my life. I want to remember my life. And maybe one day I won't be able to. So it's a cool way to just collect things. And I have an excuse to, you know, take a sticker for, a coffee shop or save a receipt from a $60 chili's date, which I didn't save that receipt, which is such a shame because it would have been framed.

So maybe I have to like design a fake one so I can frame it in my house, dude, because that that has changed my life and maybe you will one day have a $60 chili's date that changes your life. I hope that you do. Eye opening. It was good though. The food was all right. It was.

If you're curious, triple dipper, and then we got drinks. And that's always how they get you. with the drinks. Build your playground. Build your playground. You need to figure out what are the things you enjoyed doing as a kid

and you need to find a way to intertwine that into your adult life. If you loved playing on the street with homies, it was fun riding your bikes around. Okay, you got to get your friends together at least once a year go somewhere

spend as little money as you need just go somewhere and hang out with your friends you obviously like that you liked having a group of friends do that that's a replicate that's a adult replication of what kind of joy you felt in that if you loved

being in your room and dreaming and and you know listening to music maybe dancing cool learn how to dance for real like some tango some I don't know, hip hop dancing.

You can learn how to dance to, you know, TV off by Kendrick Lamar. And that would be sick. Because then when someone yells, Mustard! You could bust out an insane move at the club. And then people would be like, damn, that's sick. Oh my gosh. As if anyone's going to do that.

But you get what I'm saying. There's clues in how you were as a kid that can really dictate your life as an adult. And it can really, really give you a. a beautiful, a beautiful foundation to being just a good person as an adult and being somebody who's fun to be around and being one with who you are. I think a lot of us just look towards the next person. What is the next person doing in their adult life? How are they doing it?

Okay, I need to do that. That is the standard. It's not the standard. More look at why they do what they do. That's an important thing. Well, why is somebody playing pickleball? Is it because they played tennis when they were younger? And now they want to, you know, pick up the sport and it's an easy dub and they can put money on it.

Maybe. But it could also be that they loved trying new things when they were younger and that's like a big thing for them. I loved trying new foods as a kid. Oh my goodness. I would eat anything in front of me. I literally would inhale anything in front of me. I try my best whenever I go somewhere. I'm traveling.

I'm trying the weirdest thing on the menu, the most odd thing on the menu, or the thing that honestly they recommend because that's what I always be. get in and it always hits. So haven't gone wrong with that. I keep I keep that part of my playground alive. Like I keep that part of me alive by still channeling it and still letting myself do that every single day. Now some days I don't. Some days like I literally have to take care of chores and that's like, you know, not a kid, inner child thing I want to do. Of course. Sometimes you've got to get down to business. That's a part of adulting is knowing that there are things you don't want to do, like file your taxes. There are things that you could care less about. Like, I don't know. There's a lot of things I just, like, what? Your friends want to watch a lot of Island and you're like,

what? Even though I've heard it's a good show. You're like, I guess. But you have to do them. You know, you have to take the trash out. You have to do it. It's not like you, you know, you can't do it. You could. But then you'd have a lot of trash. And, It would stink. I don't think you want that. What are the non-negotiables that were important to you as a kid? Like, what were the things you were doing as a kid that brought you joy? And maybe you didn't get that in your childhood. Maybe while everyone had things that they felt joyous about,

you had to deal with your parents' marriage that was failing. You had to deal with family tension that was completely not something you wanted, but it's just something you had to deal with because life's unfair. And if that's the case, I want you to know that you're seen that some people aren't privileged enough to have a childhood they can pull from that they really like. Some people have to dissociate pretty hard from their childhood because it was. was traumatic to say the least. But that doesn't have to be the claim it holds on you. And maybe there is a part of you that can be explored in your adult life through the lens of just letting yourself be free and letting yourself just try things and figure it out

on the go. For some of us, maybe we had insane expectations put on us by our parents and we didn't, We wanted to play basketball. And they said, no, you will be studying because we want you to go to Harvard and Princeton and Yale. And if you don't get into that, you have failed as a kid. Well, if you're no longer in your parents' domain, it's time to pick up a basketball. Because you wanted to do it. Yes, it was out of your control that your parents reacted the way they did.

But that shouldn't hold a claim on you. That shouldn't be something. that defines you for the rest of your life. It can be. That is completely in your control. You can let it, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you also have such a incredible opportunity to just build your playground. And figure out what that looks like in your adult life.

And figure out how you can integrate that into who you are today. Why would you not? I don't have time. We have time, bro. Rosen lasagna, medium power. 15 minutes. Sounds like. Joe time. Let's play.

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Love the Way I say I don't have time I have time It's just I spend my time Sometimes sending 20 videos To my friend that doesn't even react to any of them Because the memes were funny

So like I was like I need to You know I need to send it to him the more you build out your playground as an adult, the more you have fun, the better quality of life you will live. And that doesn't just mean like your quality of day-to-day, you know, doing fun stuff. It also just means like your quality of the people that you meet because you'll also meet fun people. You know, like-minded people attract, also opposites attract. You'll meet people who are not like you. They not like us.

But they'll be cool too. But you'll also meet like-minded people in the way they're. approach fun things and that's when you are able to share your passion with somebody else with another human being that is like one of the best feelings in the world especially when it comes from a place of sincere joy and a lot of that sincere joy we find in childhood we find when we're really young when we're seeing the world through this cotton candy lens and I think a lot of us let that lens get dirty because people will tell us that's what it is when it doesn't have to it doesn't have to and it's difficult you have to

fight against it you have to fight against a mindset that's shifting you towards like being like everything sucks my life sucks geez i i failed at this i did this wrong why didn't i do this as a kid why didn't i you know take care of this why did this happen to me it's hard that's that's it's hard because that's you lose the innocence you lose the innocence and sometimes people lose the innocence at a time where they did not deserve to lose the innocence. They deserved to have someone who cared about them and they deserved to live out their life as somebody who had a perspective that was so grateful and so filled with joy. But it's on us.

It's on us to build that back out. It's on us to recognize that and be like, okay. I know who I'm going to do this for. Like I know who I am going to stay consistent in this hobby for. It's for my younger self. I know who I'm going to, you know, please when I do everything to go to like an air show. I'm doing it for my younger self. It's a part of my playground.

I always, as a kid, wanted to go to an air show. I never got to. And I was always like, dang it. I want to do that when I'm older. I'm doing it. I'm doing it soon. Coming soon. it is such a good motivator too to just keep you,

keep you young. Because I think mentally a lot of people just like check out. They hit the late 20s, early 30s, and they're just like, all right, it's like, whatever, you know, I'm in my routine. Because they haven't built on this appreciation and this joy and all of these things that do kind of stimulate them in a special way, in a way that's just so real. And I try to embody that as much as I can, you know, prime example, right?

I was on a business trip here in beautiful Los Angeles. And my younger self would have loved to explore the mountains that he saw, you know, from the plane. And so I did it for him. I rented a car. I figured out the logistics for the first time. I'm here. I'm here. I built it into my playground. I said, I'm doing this for bro. And bro is very happy. He is very happy. This is awesome. You know? Did I spend money that I had to work for in order to do it? Yes. Yeah, I did. Yeah, it was not cheap.

But am I like overjoyed that I did it? Am I happy that I did it? Oh my goodness. Yes. Would I do it again in a heartbeat? I'm going to. you don't have to hold your younger self hostage like you don't have to deprive him or her or them of joy just because you didn't have it back then you can do things for them now you can build something so they feel taken care of because if you don't take care of them they'll turn against you know against you and you will struggle to find joy within yourself and more more peace because that was a big thing for me in college. I just like didn't play soccer. I was I was very much caught up in what everyone else was doing and I was very much like, no, no, I need to grind, you know. And that's not what my, you know, my younger self wanted. He wanted me to do good things and to be consistent at the

things that I liked, but he, he wasn't like, you need to grind 24-7. That was something I drilled into my own brain from a lack of belief in myself and a lack of, you know, a lack of love. I was like, that's the only way that's going to make me worthy, you know. What would it look like if you gave your younger self, your inner child a day? Like a day where they got to do whatever they wanted? What were those things for you growing up that you wish you could have done, but just it couldn't happen for some reason. Maybe your parents didn't have the money. Maybe your parents didn't even know because y'all didn't really talk like that.

And that's fine. Happens. What could that look like now on your own volition with your own freedom? What could that look like? Maybe you're still, you know, figuring out if you are mature or not. And the truth is, everyone is figuring that out. every single day because there is no threshold you hit where you're like, oh, my goodness, I'm, I'm, I am adult now. No, no, no, no, no. That's not how it works. You, you just get older. And things that

are in the past, they come with you. They do. And they inform every decision that you make. And they inform every kind of opinion that you have, every kind of bias that you have, any kind of self-doubt that you have. They inform all of that. Yeah, they do. So then it becomes kind of your job to tackle it because it's there, but you're also there. And who knows, right now you might feel like you're sitting in a room with your, with your inner child, and he's looking at you, and he's not happy. she's upset that you gave up on the horseback riding because you really liked that

but you got bullied in middle school and someone said that that was cringe or that you were a horse girl and you just you said all right never again or maybe they're they're upset that you let somebody that you really really like you know call you call you something you weren't and it really hurt

maybe all they want is for you to just address it and just give it a thought. Maybe that's all they want. They just want you to recognize that that's something that they are holding on to, that your younger self just wants you to acknowledge. They don't want you to run away from it. They don't want you to, you know, cake it in a bunch of cope makeup. Like they just want you to acknowledge it happened so that you can do something about it. So you can build a new part of the playground for them.

It's like in elementary school. I don't know if you all had like parts of your playground that was just run down. We did. We had this trolley like a hang glide. You know what I'm talking about where you would like hold onto a bar and glide down a like a wooden plank. It was so cool. It was also always broken every time without fail.

They would change the wheels once a year. it would be broken within the first week of them changing the wheels. Maybe you've got to get a new piece of equipment on that playground. Maybe you need to get a seesaw. Maybe you got to get like one of those netted up climbing things. You remember climbing on those. Those were so sick. Oh my gosh.

Maybe you need that. Address it. Address it because your inner child will continue to be there. forever because it's your child you can try to disown it they'll come back they did for me a big thing was my inner child was like yo play soccer i miss playing soccer i want you to play soccer so i was like okay i got to install in my life some time for me to play soccer whether that's i am soccer whether that's pickup i just need to do this because my my inner child really really likes this and I think they deserve it.

They deserve it. Because yeah, you know, okay, I didn't like certain aspects of soccer. I was really hard on myself. Cool, but that's not today. I'm an adult now. And I can build the experience I wish I had as a kid for myself right now. Biggest thing.

Biggest thing. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge it's there. Acknowledge that they care about you. They want you to succeed. and they want what's best for you, and all they want is for you just to acknowledge them back

so you can move forward. In your life, Zerky Show. Build that playground. See, oh, my gosh. Build that playground for your inner child. Did you know that the Zerky Show is everywhere you go? What?

Yes, this is true. You can watch it, you can scroll, you can stream it. It is all in your power. Remember that. If you want to tap in, tap in. Tap in. Mm-mm.

Who's calling my phone? It's the Zirky Show, because we want you to be a part of a new series we're starting called Mail Time with Zirky. If you have a question and you want a chance to be featured in this new series, this is how you can address it, obviously, on your own volition. I appreciate it, and I cannot wait to see what your beautiful mind comes up with. Tap in. Do the things that bring you joy, try something new, and just know it will be hard when you start it. That's always how it is.

It will be difficult, but as long as you get the hang of it and you like it, You will tough it out and go through it and you will love the process. It's about the journey. I trust you. I believe in you again because sometimes we need to get reaffirmed that that is true. And Zerkei Show, I am sending you so much love and peace.