the zurkie show - everything i am, i owe to her

Episode Date: May 11, 2025

⁠happy mother's day!!!sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaaaacehttps://stan.store/thezurkieshow⁠

I recognize how much of a privilege it is to grow up with such a caring, loving, considerate, and just flat out goaded mom. I'm not going to lie. She's the best. I compare her to blonde messy. Her pink-haired namar, bro. My mom is the goat. She's the goat.

She's She's the best And I think what I admire the most about her is her spirit My mom's spirit Is something that I don't think can be crushed You cannot put it in a hydraulic press

And try to smush it She just keeps going She's lived Five to five to ten different lives Doing different things changing her career, doing different kinds of side quests. I just, I really look at her with amazement. Just to give you some context about my mom.

This is a woman who grew up in Poland during like the communist times briefly. Moved to Germany to learn German and speak German and be a German teacher. and then she was like, this ain't paying nothing and I'm broke and I can't eat. So she moved back home, got her master's degree, then was working at a company in Poland for a little bit, traveling like the entirety of Europe doing business. Like on some OG girl boss.

Sorry, I swore, but it's true. And then on top of that, she then proceeded to drop everything, everything she had worked for herself and was like, yeah, I'm just going to move to America. on a whim, and she was frying eggs at a 4-H camp in New Jersey. What? My mom has proven to me that you can change as a human being.

And actually, you should look to change. Change is a good thing. And it's made my existence, my ability, to welcome change so much easier because she is such a prime example of just doing it because why not? Because the lore will be insane. You talk about dad lore, tap into mom lore because my mom has lived a life. And it's become a no-brainer. I almost feel like I have this template to not be fearful because my mom has taken so many steps in her life and she's doing just fine.

And she's made plenty of mistakes. I mean, you know, she moved to a country, thought that she'd be able to do something for herself, and then it didn't work out. And the humility she had to, like, move back home and live with her parents, you know, as an adult. It's rough. That's rough, you know, but she didn't mind it. And I really admire that about her. I admire so much about my mom. And I think in a lot of ways she's taught me the most.

about being emotionally mature. I think she's taught me that it's good to feel things. And it's odd. I'm in a position right now in my life where I'm learning to open up and be vulnerable about certain insecurities or certain feelings that I have that come up in my friendships and my relationships. And I always have her as my first. dial on my phone. I always call my mom. And I ask her, what do I do about this? I don't know what to do.

And she's served as more than a mom to me. She's also served as such a mentor. I really, I really appreciate the way that she thinks about things. And I really appreciate the way in which she sees the world. It's really special. It's very different from how I see the world. And I look at that is such a good thing. It's interesting because, you know, I want to be a parent one day. I would love to be a father. You know, some people say, like, I want to have kids. No, no, no, but like having kids and being a father, I think are two very, very distinct different things. Because I think that there is so much importance in the amount of time that you spend with potentially, you know, your future family. That's time you'll never get back. And it's interesting because I talk to people who are older,

who worked really, really hard. Maybe in their career, maybe they thought that their lack of being there for their kids could be compensated through money, through earning more money. And every time without fail, like, honestly, all that people care about, at least kids care about, it seems,

is just the quality time, man. It's being there for them. And I know I'm done some unc talk right now because like there's a good chance of you're not thinking about that and that's i mean absolutely you don't have to think about that but it is something that i think i i really have a a beautiful blueprint for because man like my mom she she's so hardworking she's so on top of her stuff but she always she always had time for me always always there were also times where I kind of forced her to have time on me.

Like there was one time I got a little bit sick after taking a certain kind of edible food. And I started to have like a panic attack and she was working and I was at home. And I stumbled into her office and she was like, are you serious right now? And I'm like, Mom, I can't breathe correctly. Bro, I tweaked out like crazy. Mom, I'm sorry, but I'm sharing this with the world. I messed up.

I messed up big time. I've messed up so many times. And my mom has always been there to tell me, you know, how much of a stupid decision I made. But also she was always there unconditionally to support me. And be like, yeah, you made a mistake, but you got to take accountability for it. You need to keep moving forward.

And I mean, I feel as if I've been able to be so at peace with myself and be so forward thinking about potential consequences and potential, you know, problem-solving skills just because my mom was there for me. I think she's also set a big precedent as to, like, what kind of partner I want to have in my life. Not on some Freudian stuff, but, like, I really, I really respect her. I really love her. And she will always tell it to me straight.

Always. There's never a time where my mom will beat around the bush. I mean, she is a sharp shooter, bro. Like curry. There's no, uh, there's no room for, for fake stuff. There really isn't. I also really admire the fact that she has such a good read on people, too. I've learned to trust my intuition, trust my gut because of my mom.

You know, it's interesting. You know, I'm growing older now. This year I'm going to be 24 years old on my Kobe year, rest in peace. And I feel like as I've gotten older, I understand my mom more. Because there's also, there's also, you know, flaws. You know, no human being is perfect. My mom isn't perfect. But what I also admire so much about her is that she's very, very open about the fact that she isn't perfect.

And that she struggles with, you know, staying consistent or wanting to really pursue what she loves seriously. I just don't think I've ever felt as cared for and as heard by another human being that I do by my mom. And maybe that is not true for you. Maybe your dynamic with your mom is one of hatred, jealousy, misunderstanding, a generational gap, maybe you spent most of your childhood arguing with your mom. And maybe your mom, to you, represents somebody you don't want to be ever in your life. And all I can say to that is, you know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That's not the reality for you. And I can't sit here and say that I, oh, I know what it's like because I don't. But what I can say is that I truly believe every experience brings something. And maybe you were given a glimpse at the kind of person you don't want to be and the kind of characteristics you don't want to embody as you move forward through your life. And, you know, my mom is this figure to me, but your mom might have a completely different relationship with you. It might have a completely different gravity.

Not every relationship with our family members or not every relationship. It gives us the same thing. You know, it's important, obviously. Everyone kind of has a mom and dad. But maybe it looks a lot different for you. And maybe you get those same kind of things, attributes, or, you know, representation from some else in your life. And I think on this Mother's Day, even if they're not, you know, female or whatever, you know, gender, sex orientation, you should thank them. You should thank them for being

there for you. I think that that's a big thing. And if you don't feel like you have that in your life, maybe it's time to seek it out. Because we all, we all deserve to be heard. We all deserve to have somebody in our corner that's willing to fight with us. And maybe that's, maybe that's not your mom. Maybe that's not that person for you. Maybe that's your partner. Maybe that's your best friend. Maybe that is your sibling.

But what I know is, you know, I've been blessed enough to not have to experience a lot of my hardship alone. And I was always able to reach out to. somebody and I was always able to to be guided by somebody and that has made such a tremendous difference in how I view hardship because I don't view it as something I need to I need to mull over alone no I view it as something that I can be open about because the beauty about my mom too is that she she has struggled plenty and I've witnessed it and it's been a privilege to witness it because I've seen the way in which she's able to

literally lock in and be like, all right, let's look at the playing field, let's look at what we need to do, let's go after it. And she never makes excuses for herself. Like she's always just like has this standard of who she wants to be. Now, does she fall short? Yes. And does she sometimes heart on herself to a fault. Yeah, of course, like everybody. But I've always just admired that so much about her. Man, it's just, it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. Maybe one day you want to be a mother. Maybe one day you want to have a family of your own. Maybe that's something you're not even thinking about, but maybe it is. I think it's worth really thinking through. what does that look like

what kind of person do you want to be for your family and family doesn't have to mean you know kids necessarily it can mean a good partner that can mean an extended family but what kind of person

do you want to embody what kind of characteristics do you want to show and put forefront that represent you I've thought about it a lot There's a lot that I want to take from my mom There's a lot I want to take from my dad And there's also a lot that I just want to

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Maybe there are certain characteristics about my mom or your mom that you really, really like, and you want to continue on through your own life. And they don't have to be trapped in a gender. You know, I have learned a lot of my emotional maturity from my mother as a man. And I never looked at it as like, that's a woman's thing. No. You need emotional maturity as a human being, period. It doesn't matter the gender, at least in my opinion.

And in a similar vein, like, I've learned certain caring traits, like how to care for somebody from my dad. I think it's about being accepting about the characteristics that you see and not hold. holding it to some kind of standard of what needs to be like feminine or masculine. Because at the end of the day, like, bro, we're people. And these things exist. You know, it's not like we should totally discount them. But I think it's important that we understand that, like, it's good to be well-rounded, and it's good to understand different kinds of perspectives and also different kinds

of characteristics all across the board. my mom has never made me feel any less of a man because maybe I'm a little emotional sometimes my mom has never made me feel less of a man because I don't know at moments I was sensitive if anything she reinforced the good characteristics within me to make me a good person and to make me somebody that I could be proud of. And I still struggle with, you know, that whole veil of what it means to be a man and how I'm supposed to show up. And honestly, bro, it's tiring. It's tiring.

And I think it's a bigger conversation. There's a lot more nuance to it. It's not as easy as, well, there is nothing because there are societal standards and, And there are pressures from people, from partners. I mean, that's very real. So it's kind of naive for me to be like, oh, this is just one way. It's really not. It's not, dude.

Nothing in life is one way ever, ever. But I think I can be very appreciative today that I feel well equipped to take on the challenges of being a human being. today. And I feel very well equipped to pursue the things that I love. My mom was always a proponent of that. And she wasn't, she wasn't like, you know, some parents so like, do what you love. Do what you love. You know, she was like, you have to survive. You have to make money for yourself. And I was like, yeah, you're kind of right, you know. The Chili's ain't going to pay for itself. $60. I'm trolling.

But she always pushed me to do something I loved because that would mean I would do it the best I could. That would mean that I would put 100% into it. And I get it because there's there are so many people in this world that don't get to do that. It's really a privilege. And the fact that she was able to nurture that into me at a really young age that has

it's opened so many doors for me you know families are really complicated things you know family is a really complicated thing because we don't get to pick our family we usually get our family you know default pack

the default what is that oh my gosh the uh the starter pack we get a family starter back and we kind of go with it and if we're lucky we get parents that we really really respect and we can build a good relationship with and then sometimes we're not as fortunate and we we deal with a lot of BS throughout childhood simply put but that doesn't that doesn't mean that none of us are are not deserving of good role models in our life that doesn't mean that we're not deserving of having somebody like my mom that's a part of your life. And maybe they are not in the place where you think they're going to be.

Maybe they are your old art teacher. Maybe they're a neighbor. I think the main thing you should keep in mind is having a good representation of the human being you want to be and being able to see how they do things and being able to see how they function and how they live life. It's the most valuable thing you could have. It's so valuable. And I'm not even talking about somebody who's like a rich bagillionaire and they're on the grind.

I'm talking about somebody that you just respect. You look at them and you're like, they do a good job. They take accountability for their stuff. Even when it's not their fault, they're out here doing the work. And also, with that same respect, you see their flaws and you see that they're human because that's important. For a lot of us, we don't see that. We only see one side of people. We don't see their mistakes.

We see the highlight reel all the time. And we can never live up to that. You have to be very careful who you idolize. I make mistakes all the time. And honestly, I'm very afraid of it sometimes because of how I will be perceived, because I will be judged and I will be, you know, I don't know, banished for them. But I'm a human being, Zerky Show. I'm going to make mistakes.

I've made, oh, I've made so many mistakes in my life. And I will continue to make them, but what I have learned from my mom is that mistakes will be made. But the mistakes don't define you as much as the way in which you move past them, Cirque's show. And the way that you deal with them and you learn with them, and you learn to not repeat. them. And for that, I truly love my mom. Did you know that the Zerky show is everywhere you go? You can watch it. You can scroll it. You can stream it. The choice is yours. If you want to tap in, this is the way to do so. It's the Zirky Show all over the globe. Tap in. Do the things that bring you joy. And happy Mother's Day, man. I hope you're spending it with your mama. Mama!

And outside of that, I'm very grateful for all of you. I'm very grateful. for every message I've received. I'm very grateful for being able to do this. It means the world. It makes me feel way less alone. And the fact that so many of you resonate with what I say again, it blows my mind every time. Zerky Show, if you need somebody to believe in you,

I believe in you. If you're trying something new, just try it. What do you have to lose, really? And outside of that, just know I am sending you lots of love. and peace