the zurkie show - fear is a feeling, not a stop sign

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

the one thing you can count on in life is that you will feel uncertain. there will be moments where you won't know if the decision you're making is the right one. however, not making a decision is always worse than acknowledging what can go wrong, and how you'll deal with it. you got this.https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

I think the worst case is you never figuring out if it was a yes or a no. You'll never know because you didn't ask them. When you know that something is hitting the fan, when you know that things are going wrong, you are often left with the decision that you have to make. Oftentimes that decision is uncomfortable. Let's say you are finally realizing that your hinge date is not cool. And actually the small things that you thought were quirky are super annoying and you don't want them in your life and they keep texting you every single day. Shocker. It's almost like those

red flags were there from the start. But whatever, I won't judge. I'm not one to judge. But now you have a decision. You can either drag this out or you can probably send a text that will take you, I don't know, 10 minutes to draft up, you know, you ever do that? You draft like a text in the notes app and then you copy and paste it. You know what I'm talking about. Real recognizes real. but you are afraid to do anything. You are paralyzed in fear. You are standing in the middle of a road that splits two different ways

and you don't know where to go. I want you to always ask yourself in these kind of situations what is the worst case? If you do this, you prepare yourself for the worst scenario, potentially, there is no guarantee sometimes you might think that the worst scenario is yeah they're going to get

kind of mad and you know they'll be like well why did i pay for four of your dinners whoopsies but thinking of the worst case gives you so much peace of mind as to following through with your decision and taking a risk oftentimes we are so quick to talk ourselves out of things we are so quick to immediately be like no no no no no i don't want to do that thing no no no get that away from me instead of asking ourselves well what's the worst case I mean do I even need to give this example like when you see someone you want to talk to and you think is cute and they're in your class and you're like well ask yourself what's the worst case what is the worst thing that can happen like what is genuinely the worst case in that kind of situation because I think that the

worst case is you not knowing I think the worst case is you never figuring out if it was a yes or no you'll never know because you didn't ask them it's the same thing hey in school i had some tests that i knew ain't no way i was studying for and it was you know i was in too deep i was on my fourth youtube rabbit hole of the day and respectfully i wasn't going to stop i had to ask myself like okay i mean i'm going to put in this time to do this thing but is this a good use of my time. This might be bad educational advice. But like, what is the worst case? Right? You mess up one of your exams. Okay. Do you have another exam that you can do better on? Yes. Okay. Can you pass the class? Yes. I can. The worst case is that I won't be able to apply for this

scholarship. And you've been you've been good at keeping up with that scholarship. That's not good. study for that exam. But weighing your options in a situation is so important. Weighing your options as to why something is happening and what are the potential outcomes of that situation is incredibly important because then you at least know the risk that you're taking and what could go very, very wrong. Because listen, we like to romanticize potentially the good. For a lot of us that are super optimistic, we like to be like, well, there's no way that

this doesn't work. I don't know about that. What's the worst case? Well, I mean, if I do this thing and I put my time into this and I start this business with my friend, I mean, the worst case is that we don't make a couple bucks and, you know, no, what if the worst case is your business friend, friend, decides to turn on you and take all of the money?

I don't know. I didn't think about that. That's why you got to think about these things. Now, I'm going to eat my own words. because recently I full sended something. I did something that on textbook, you should not do. Like, bad idea, stranger danger, online person telling you to go visit them.

Kind of crazy. But I asked myself in that moment, what was the worst case? And the worst case when I really thought about it is I would just go home. or I mean they would kidnap me that was the other option and they did it so hey we're chilling but you should know what you're getting yourself into before you do something now I don't think you need to think about this every time you go to a restaurant well what's the worst case if I don't

get you know a quarter pounder this time and I only get the Big Mac okay like yeah okay the worst case is it's not as tasty right though the stakes are not that high for that But when you're making a decision that requires resources, time, emotion, money, you have to ask yourself what is the worst case. This will at least give you peace of mind, which is so important because in your life you will make a lot of decisions. You will make a lot of mistakes. That is something that you will have to do. If you decide to go and ignore decisions that are important in your life, they will come to bite you. They will decide. decide on their own. If you do not take the reins of your own life and whip them into shape and guide your life in the way that you want, it will be guided for you. That's what happens to a lot of people. They decide, well, you know, well, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do this. Well, the worst cases, I don't even want to think about that. Whatever. And that's how you have people who are bitter and old and angry. And when you're working at your retail job, you have people

that are like just they hate being in the store. They just hate themselves. I don't know about you. I don't want to be that kind of person. But I get the fear. I get the fear. You making a decision about where you want to go to college seems like there is so much on the line because potentially, you know, you could be choosing a university that will give you a certain kind of opportunity. You could be choosing, you know, a university that will potentially make you meet some of your best friends. Maybe even the love of your life if you're lucky. But like, what is what is the worst case? The worst case is you make a decision and maybe you mess up and you have to make another decision.

You have to try again. People really underestimate just trying, just giving something a shot, just seeing what will happen. What happens if I go to community college for a year? Let's just see what will happen. I mean, is it the end of me? No. No, not at all. What will happen if I try to make, you know, a song on garage band?

What's going to happen? I don't know. Experiment. Try to just see. Honestly, I've found some of my favorite friends and my favorite hobbies and pastimes by just being like, okay, what's the worst case scenario if I try this thing? Okay, I'm going to embarrass myself. All right, who cares?

It's going to last 20 seconds. And then it will be a funny story that I can tell for the rest of my life, that I embarrassed myself. And that it was, you know, it was mid that I went on a date to Chili's for $60. And it was embarrassing that I spent that much money. Who cares? Who cares? Okay, flights on air Canada. Where do you want to go?

The Azores? For its hot springs and volcanoes? Hmm, speaking of volcanoes, what about Japan? You know I love sushi. Not as much as I love tapas. Maybe, Mayorka. We could hit the beach, then go hiking.

Hiking? Or how about a seaside stroll in Sicily? Ooh, I do love canolies. Wait, what do you think of... With a world of destinations to choose from, good luck picking just one. Air Canada. Nice travels.

Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sit. Play. Post. taste view and enjoy

via rail love the way there's a lot of I think paranoia around making bad choices and the truth is that we almost like don't give ourselves any kind of grace

for making mistakes anymore it has to be perfect it has to be the best so much pressure you have to know what you're going to you're going to do right away when you get out of college you're going to have an A to Z plan

of your life no you will not nobody does nobody does nobody does I promise you. I've talked to people who they have lived incredible lives, they have done incredible things, and every time they just asked themselves when they were trying something new, what is the worst case? It's the worst thing that can happen. And oftentimes the worst thing that could happen was, eh, I make a mistake, I realize I don't like it, which actually works in my favor because now I know. But it's easier said than done because let's say, you get another perspective from somebody else who's telling you, okay, that's a cool idea.

You should go visit that person that you don't know on the internet. You should go do that. But have you considered that maybe that person has been lying to you the whole time and they're not being truthful and you don't even know them? Yeah, okay, that's a pretty bad worst case. Let's say you go to somebody else and they tell you, hey, you know that college you want to apply for? Well, I heard a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend

who went to that college, they couldn't get a job and they were a loser. Then you make the decision of, are you going to listen to other people? And I think you should have different perspectives on a problem, on something in your life that you're trying to figure out. Absolutely. It doesn't hurt, right? Two heads is better than one. But there comes a point where you have to really, really trust yourself with the decision

because at the end of the day, you are the one living with it. It's not the people around you. It is like, it's you. And I think what's really underrated is being selective with who you ask for advice. Because not all advice is created equal. It's really not. There are a lot of people who will not look at your situation objectively. They will put their own spin or their own agenda or their own mishaps and project it on you.

They are going to think. that you are going to act the same way they did, when in reality, nobody really knows how you're going to act. Only you will know when you act, when you do it, when you're in the moment and you decide to check the box next to University of Georgia, because go dogs! But it's when you're going to make the decision to finally, like, break up with that toxic X, then you're going to know how you act

and how you grieve. like you will have to make the decision on your own to understand what will happen. You can play out any kind of scenario, any kind of, well, okay, this will happen and then maybe I'll have an opportunity here, but you don't know that. That's prepping yourself. That's great. And you should be well prepared. But don't let that be the barrier to you doing something.

Don't let that be the thing that just like keeps you from ever trying something new. Because what is the worst case? The worst case is that you don't do it. That's the truth. Now, maybe there are other things you're thinking of doing that you're like, wait a minute, this might not be, well, legal. Don't do that, obviously, right? But just be on the same page with yourself. And know, is this something I want to do?

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Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. And do I know what the risk is? Do I know what the worst case scenario is? Do I know what it will look like if, you know, I'm trying to start a business and I lose all of my money in it? Am I okay with that? Am I okay with potentially getting rejected from this if I put time into this?

Am I cool with that? Yeah, I'm cool with that. I mean, it is what it is. Great. Take that risk. Are you cool with potentially that friend, you know, that you, they're not your friend. They're your crush, but you say they're your friend, going up to them and telling them how you feel. Are you okay with potentially it being a little bit awkward afterwards or things happening that you have no control over?

You know what? You live once? I'm going to do it. What about that other friend, that other crush? No. No. Why? Because no.

Because I don't want to risk it. And you know what? Things are as good as they're going to get. And I like where we're at. that's a good answer too don't pressure yourself into anything you don't want to do when i started asking myself what was the worst thing that could happen or what was the worst case i found so much freedom in being able to pursue something and just try something and oftentimes in our minds we make something way worse than it actually is we make it into this insane convoluted problem when really the

it's a simple solution oftentimes we're in this crazy argument oh my goodness i don't know what to do Oh, we're at each other's throats. A 15-minute conversation later, your friends again. Oh, my goodness. Oh, I have so many of these exams I need to study for. I'm just like, no, I'm going to put it off. I'm going to put it off. An hour into studying, you realize this isn't that hard.

I actually got this. And actually, it's a repeat of last chapter, so I already know most of this. Right? making this monster out of our problems, I think, is what buries a lot of people into a hole of regret. They can't get out of because it just compounds and it builds into this thing that just feels so much bigger than you and you have no control over it. When in reality, you do. You do. And I've had to be very patient with myself and be able to talk to myself. and be like, okay, I know I'm afraid, I know I'm scared, I know I am anxious about this thing,

but what is the absolute worst case? What is the worst thing that will happen when I step on this stage? The worst thing is if I get pantsed. Okay, getting pants would suck. But would I be able to laugh about it? Yes, I would. Okay, so it's not that bad. Realistically, what would be the worst case if you were public speaking in front of people

that you forget your lines and you have to, you know, look down in your paper and remember them or you have to make something up. Is that scary? Of course. Will you be anxious and be afraid? Of course. But at least you know when you kind of say it out loud. When you say the thing that is bugging you out loud, it doesn't really make it that bad. It kind of takes the umph out of it. When we synthesize and actually verbalize our fear, the thing that really, really just irks us or makes us think that we can't believe in ourselves because something will go wrong. We realize that we're really stressing over things that we have no control over. We don't know. If you've prepared as good as you've prepared for something, it comes down to the thing, to the test, to the speech, to the date. That's what it comes down to. You can do all the prep work that you want,

but maybe things go wrong. Maybe it doesn't go right. Maybe you were going to close a deal with somebody, you know, you're a salesman. You want to close a deal and you don't close the deal, even though you prepped, even though there were signs that things were going to work. Sometimes things don't work out. They just don't. There's nothing. There is nothing you could do about it It was out of your control. They just don't, they just didn't work out, right? But if you live in that kind of reality in your mind where all the time things won't work out, all the time, you know, things will just not flow in your favor and you think that way.

And you're always like, oh, the worst case will happen. Even if you don't define what the worst cases, it's like you are stressing over things that you have no control over. that you just don't know about. You just don't. Right? So then it comes down to verbalizing what the worst case is. What is your biggest fear? What do you think would break you in this situation?

Say it out loud. And look at it. Examine it. Write it down. I'll even do that when I journal sometimes. I'll write it down. I'll be like, okay, what would be the worst thing that could happen? Okay, it would be this.

Sometimes I think like, okay, well, what if I committed so much time into this relationship and then this person, they cheat on me or, you know, they leave me for somebody else. Well, okay. What can I control on that? Not much. If it happens, would it suck? Yeah, of course it would suck. But would I still be living. Would I still be alive? Chances are, yeah, unless it went really bad. Chances are, yeah. I'd be chilling. And then I really... really think about it. It's like, okay. I'll do what I can. I'll control what I can, but at a certain point, I know what the worst case is. It's really not that bad. I'll be okay. I will be okay.

And maybe there's a worst case out there that you're really, really afraid of and you know would just be the end all, be all. And I get that. Hey, I have fears. too. But it's no way to live. It's no way to let these kind of things rule over the decisions that you make for yourself. It's not right because you're human. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to have a lot of things go wrong in your life. They go wrong on a daily basis for me. But as long as you persevere, as long as you realize that this is just a course of the way things go. You are paying your dues as a human being and that you will be okay in the end.

The worst case, it really isn't. That bad Zerky Show, it's really not that bad. Tackle that fear, do that thing. Because the worst case, it never outweighs the best case, the upside. And if you think of the upside, if you think of the good, in my opinion you're priming yourself for good things to happen

Zirky show hell yeah special announcement I have made a P.O. Box if you want to send me a potential letter a question a meme printed out whatever a drawing this is my P.O. Box

this is the way to send it for an upcoming show called Mail Time with Zirky if you're interested tap in. Did you know the Zirky Show is everywhere you go? Yes this is Correct. You can watch it. You can scroll it. You can stream it. The Zerky Show is everywhere, bro. So if you want to tap in, tap in. We're here every day for you, and that will not change. Do the things that bring you joy. There are so many things in this world for you to do. There are so many things for you to explore. Will some of them frighten you? Yeah, of course, duh. But you won't know until you try it. So if you want to try carpentry, do it. If you want to try carpentry, do it. If you want to try.

Try swimming or water polo? Try it. Well, but I'm like a junior in high school. Who cares? Do it. Just do it. Well, I'm 28. Yeah. Okay.

And you're going to be 29. So try it. What do you have to lose? Always ask yourself, what do you have to lose? Oftentimes, not much. I love you. I believe in you. If you're on your journey of trying something new, doing something new, I'm rooting for.

you just remember that and Zerke's show I believe in you. Likewise I am sending you love and peace. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play.

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