the zurkie show - how to stop repeating your past

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

learn from the past, don't let it beat you down.sending you all love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

How did you end up in this situation again? You told yourself no more toxic situationships, no more giving that person a chance, and somehow you're there again. And now it's extra embarrassing because you can't go back to those friends that told you, hey, they're not good for you. You can't look at yourself the same way

because you had promised yourself that you would not do it and you did it. Well, it's because you didn't learn. You did not learn from the past. Hello. Learning from the past is not easy. It is difficult.

Because we do not understand things as they happen. We only understand them after the fact, after we really dissect what went down, why it went down, why that person was ignoring you, why you liked it, why when they told

you, yeah, I'm not really looking for something serious, you thought that you could change them. It isn't until after we get broken into pieces that we finally are able to see where they connect and how we can reconnect them in order for it to look a little bit better or at least

to understand ourselves a little bit better. But the thing is, you brushed it off. When you were hurt, you decided to, I don't know, get revenge by getting into the gym, by hanging out with their best friend, by

posting a post that obviously you were going to tell everybody wasn't inspired by them, but it totally was a subtle to them. And that gave you a feeling. It gave you something, and you mistook that something for moving on, but really what that gave you was just some quick dopamine, and it left you as open and as vulnerable as you were before, and you're in pain, you're hurt. How do you learn from How do you actually sit with your past when it's very, very uncomfortable because you know that you made a lot of mistakes and you know that you were getting mistreated and somehow you just let it happen? How do you address something that nobody wants to address? Well, you know the answer. It's just the uncomfortable one. You have to address it. This episode is brought to you by Tell Us Online Security.

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closet as deep as you can but you know it's always there and when winter comes around that coat is still there that jacket is waiting to be worn and when you look at it you realize man I hate this jacket I really don't like anything about this jacket. Why do I still keep this around? The simple thing is putting the jacket in the goodwill bin. But that means that you have to address the emotions that are tied to it. And oftentimes that's the hardest part.

Because how do you tell yourself that you're suffering in the pain that somebody else, you're convinced, caused you, was your fault? You had a play to it. You're the victim in the situation. There's no way. But part of learning from the past, is realizing that there's no such thing as a one-way street. It always takes two to tango.

And there was always something that was your fault, 100%. Now, don't get me wrong. There are certain situations where really you are done dirty, you know, and I can't say that everything is always going to be your fault. No, no, no, no, no. Because that's unfair to people who are victims of really, really traumatic and terrible experiences. But you know, it's kind of like a silent feeling that kind of like burns a hole in your chest. You know when the line was crossed, when they made a joke, they made fun of you, you felt belittled and you kind of just, you ignored it.

Because bringing it up was something that scared you. Because that meant that you would potentially lose them. terrible situation to be in. Real talk. Terrible situation to be in because, like, in a healthy relationship from my understanding, you should be able to bring anything up. Whether that's, you know, you have a short-term fling

or you have like a long-term partner, you should be able to say, I'm feeling this way. Like, let's work through this. And that's something I had to learn from the past because I never had that. For me, it was always a point of leverage. I was like, I don't want them to know that I feel bad. because they're going to exploit that.

What? Insane assumption, but it was true. I felt that way for the longest until I had a partner who was like, you need to tell me how you feel. I can't read your mind, okay? You have to tell me when something is wrong, when I say something that you don't like. Like, that's how we're going to learn,

and we're going to upset each other. We're going to have these disagreements. We're going to have moments where it just doesn't make sense. We need to communicate better. Learning from the past also requires a level of being brought back to the past. There are memories that I can distinctly remember where I was hurt. And I can remember what I was wearing. I can remember where I was.

I can remember the words that were said. But it's weird because I've detached myself so much from them. Because I'm better now. You're probably thinking that I'm better now. But it's, I'm not. I'm not. Yeah. So you have to almost go in to those memories.

It's kind of like you're playing an old save in Minecraft or like an old Grand Theft Auto. You, you're, everything is familiar as you kind of start to build. out the world and like, you're like, oh, I built that. Oh, oh, I, that's a little bit cringe. You know, but that's a part of it. That's a part of learning from the past is you kind of need to time travel sometimes in your mind to rework some of these situations and really think, man, like, did I need to be upset at that? Did I need to give them that opportunity? What, what led me to feeling like I could trust them when like the entire time they were betraying my trust? And I knew about it. And I was like, well, yeah, you were like, well, and then that led you to crashing out

and isolating yourself from all your friends. Oh, man, learn from the past. Learn from the past. There's more to life than finding the perfect car. But finding the perfect car can help you get the most out of life. Like the SUV that handles everything from drop off to off road. And the car that hulls groceries and hockey teams or the van that's gone from just practical to practically family. Whatever you want, wherever you're going.

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is leveling up your business with FedEx Intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move. My grandpa, he is a huge proponent on learning from other people's mistakes, funny enough. And I always had a bone to pick from this because I think, you know, learning from other people's mistakes is fine and dandy. But if you don't make enough mistakes on your own, you really don't.

really won't know how to maneuver and how to approach problems in your own skin. It is so easy to watch like a let's play of somebody's life, but it's hard to control your character and figure out like, what do I do? That's why a lot of the best evidence out there is so simple. It's like, be yourself. Okay, when you hear that and you have an experience being yourself, you won't really understand what that means. And I think that that's why I'm such a proponent on like make mistakes. Be the opposite of perfect. Like make mistakes.

Obviously don't make mistakes that are going to put you in a lot of harm's way. But take a risk, man. Ask out that boy. Even though you're scared that if it goes wrong, everyone's going to talk about it. People have the memory of a goldfish, bro. especially now. Like, do you remember Chopped Chin? Me neither, exactly.

So, and that was, you know, that wasn't that long ago, okay? So people might give you some crap for like a week and then they'll move on. Versus you're going to always regret the fact that you really liked them and you never gave it a shot. Learn from the past. If you've made, you know, mistakes and you told yourself you were going to do something, you were going to lock in and you didn't. Learn from the past. past, look at why that didn't go the way that it was supposed to, and figure out what you can do better. It's painful, but if you get used to actually examining what you did and how you can do

a little bit better and accepting what you did well, because that's also important, we shouldn't just be dogging on ourselves all the time, but it's easy to do that. So, I mean, if you do do that, hey, I get it. But if you don't take the time to look at the past, you won't be able to really understand what you can do in the present to secure your future. And I know you shouldn't stress about the future because that's something that at the end of the day, you can't really control. You can't tell yourself, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z at that date because things change. But what you can do is you can learn from the past to make sure you have better informed decisions in the present. You can learn about the habits and the patterns of, you know, potential partners or friends

that you pick so that when you have a new friend that you want to make, you don't choose somebody who's going to put their interests over yours and who's going to use you, plain and simple. But if you don't do that, then you can't really expect a different result, can you? People get trapped in these thought cycles, in these loops of personality. They feel like they need to be somebody, and that change is the last thing because they have defined themselves as somebody who's struggling. They have defined themselves as somebody who will never find someone to love them. Like these are, these are characters at the end of the day. If you let yourself be and you say, you know what, everything that will happen to me or around

me will happen, but what I can control is the way that I'm going to react to these things. And what I can control is looking at the past and realizing, okay, that was maybe not the best joke to make. Okay, maybe I want to do something completely different after trying wood carving. That's not really something I'm into. I'm going to try, I don't know, sculpting. I'm going to try, you know, boating. Why not? You're better off. Treat yourself like an experiment. You don't have to have these defined ridges of who you are and what you're doing. Like you can, you have the ability to go and try something. Because I think a lot of you when you look at your past, what you can learn from it is that You were living a lot of your past for other people, whether that was your parents, that was your friends, that was your crush, whoever, you know, the internet.

My goodness, a lot of people live their life for the internet. It's kind of surreal. Live your life for yourself. Do things because you want to do them. Not because they're cool. It's cool to try things that are cool. Like somebody recommends you, you know, a Labubu Machilate. All right.

And it's $400. All right. If you have the bread, go try it, you know? but it's uncanny the amount of people that just are copy and paste now and you know I can complain about that but

if you've watched you know my other videos you know what I think about that because I'm a punk rocker yes I am learn from the past bro learn from the past learn from your low lights and also learn from your highlights We oftentimes like to think of the past as a negative thing.

We often like to think of, oh man, this baddie I fumbled. Which, you're 18, bro. Relax. You're going to be fine. Trust me. You know, we like to think about what we did wrong. But your past has a lot. It has the keys to honestly showing

you how you're going to have the most bliss and the most impact in your life. A lot of the things that we love to do, they start in childhood. They start in your past. And what happens is you go to school, you don't have the same time, you have friends who don't think Legos are cool, who don't think Minecraft is cool, whatever, you have to adjust because you want to be accepted, because acceptance is survival for a lot of us. Fair. But if you learn from the past, you know, and you look at the things that made you the most happy and the most joyful and feel the most content, I promise you that can dictate a lot of your life in a way that you probably can't really see right now, but if you just treat these things as plants to nurture, treat your interests that way,

treat your relationships, like the friendships that you made that meant a lot to you when you were younger, seeking those kind of, you know, relationships now in your adult life, you can build the support system that you want. You can build the environment that you like. For me, one of my favorite things when I was growing up was going on walks and bike rides around this place called Hamilton Park. It was down the street from where I grew up in Palatine. And I remember there's a track that goes around Hamilton.

I would walk it all the time. I would play soccer there with my friends after school. And there was so much bliss that came from just sitting in one area like on the grass and watching the sky. I love this is free. And I love this so much. To a similar vein, I love, you know, planes. I love planes that fly through the sky. That was always a thing.

You know, growing up, I was obsessed with planes and things that moved. I loved movement. I loved soccer. I loved Ronaldino because of the way he moved. I loved Messi because of the way he moved. I loved Elvis because of the way he moved. I loved performers, Tyler the Creator, because of the way he moved. Like, your past.

If you don't know what you're doing right now in your present day, in your current state, you don't know what makes you happy. The past has the answers. It has the answers of where you need to start because it won't be where you finish. It won't be. I promise you that. So don't put that kind of pressure on yourself that I need to do this because of as a kid. No, no, no, no. But if you like gymnastics as a kid, it's kind of like nerfing yourself to not even try something that's physical or, you know, calisthenics or

gymnastics now. If you loved playing footy as a kid and you loved playing pickup games, but going and playing club in high school just beat any kind of fun out of you, well, you're kind of nerfing yourself by not even trying a rec league or not playing with some friends and meeting people that way. The limitations. They need to go. But the limitations are often there for a reason and that's also in our past. And the limitations often come from the fact that you didn't feel secure in the things that you loved and you didn't feel secure in the things that mattered to you. And maybe every time that you tried something, your parents made fun of you for trying something instead of actually rooting for you. Maybe

every time that you were honest, you had it used against you, you had it flipped against you, and instead you were the problem. The past has a lot of answers. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-O-Jo. The online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games.

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Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via rail, love the way. And if you ignore the past, it's going to seep into the present. Because accepting the past and learning from it, that's giving you the past.

the toolbox for the present. That's making sure that you are able to receive the love that you deserve, that you're able to have the friends that you should have, and that you're able to have the boundaries for yourself so that you can treat yourself like a decent human being and not like some kind of robot that just works all the time. But again, these are things that you need to learn from the past. And I think that there's a big misconception between learning and understanding. I understand my past. I understand. that I fumbled. I understand that I shouldn't have done that. But why? Because if you just like, oops, I did that, you know, oh yeah, I understand that I shouldn't have, you know, been with this person

for two years. They were completely, like, not interested in me, but they didn't want to let me go because they had no other option. There's a difference between that and making sure that it does not happen again. And if it does happen again, that you acknowledge that it's happened. and you work against it and you don't let it happen. And listen, things will happen in your life. You will make mistakes. It's not like it makes, you know, learning from the past makes you mistake proof. No, no, no.

But what it does do is it gives you a better understanding of yourself and of the present and of who you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to do. Maybe you're long overdue apologizing to somebody. Maybe you demonized somebody in your mind a little too much. you made him feel really bad. You made him feel like they really hurt you. And in fact, like, they really didn't. And you just took the opportunity to be rude.

You took the opportunity to just be disrespectful. You don't have to judge yourself for it. But learn from it. Like, take that moment and look at it and be like, okay, I was not supposed to do that. And when I feel overwhelmed with myself, when I feel like I'm messing up all the time, what I should do instead is I should take a break.

I should say, hey, I need some alone time. I need some me time. But sometimes it's easier to make the wrong decision. Sometimes it's easier to punish yourself because you feel like you don't deserve it. Sometimes it's easier to make your life more miserable because it feels good. But where is that feeling coming from?

why does it feel good? What happened in your past to make you feel like you don't deserve to have good things? What happened in your past to make you feel like you should be miserable all the time and you don't deserve to be happy? And you don't deserve not even be happy, but just to be content. And maybe that thing had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with your family dynamics. Maybe that thing had nothing to do with who you were.

It was just a situation that you were dragged into without your consent. and it was what it was, and you were expected to act like an adult. I don't know if there's such thing. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Hear that? That's your next obsession. Every coffee, a new world. Every sip, a new taste. This is the new Nespresso.

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Keep exploring at Nespresso.com. I think that we get older, but the truth is getting old. It's a mindset. I don't think you should want to stay young forever. All right, onk. Yeah. Cope.

Shut up. No, I'm kidding. But, you know, there's so much beauty going forward. but you'll only experience it in the present. It's not something that you're going to experience, you know, dreaming about the future. You can yearn for stuff like you can dream. That's a beautiful emotion, and I urge you to have that. But I also urge you to learn from the past so you can enjoy your present moment.

Jeez, like, you have no idea how many people I know that are stuck in the past. They have chained themselves to this person that they think they are, and they feel like they will be judged by other people, they change. Who cares? Nobody cares. And if they do, it's none of your business.

Because you can't change it. You know, fight for control what they think about you. Who cares? Move forward. But what if... What if? What if the sun explodes tomorrow, bro? You know?

Right now, today. That's what you have. What do I have right now? This shirt that I thrifted in Krakuf that I love, this beautiful view behind me in Canyon Lake, Texas. And you in front of me. That's what I have. And I'm grateful for that.

And I'm grateful for that because I learned from the past. And I learned that dreaming about things and spending time, just worrying about why I didn't have things and why I messed up so many times, it did nothing for me. What did do something for me is actually taking my past seriously and being like, why was I that way? What does this mean for me now?

Do I want to stay that way? Do I want to change? Do I want to challenge myself, my way of thinking? Is that something that's important to me? Because if it is important to you, then you need to do it. But I'm not sure if my friends are going to approve of that, bro. Then you need new friends. That's not what you want to hear, is it?

You need new friends. I think most people don't have good friends, bro. I'm just keeping it a buck. Learn from the past. Take your past seriously. the things that you loved seriously. Look at the mistakes, not from an angle of like, what was I doing to why did I do that? And what does that mean for me now? How can I make sure that I don't do that again? And how can I be cognizant of those things? How can I actually recognize them in the

present moment? So I make sure that I'm not in that kind of situation again. And I don't get taken advantage of the way I was before Zirky Show. Today's episode of the Zerky Show, was filmed in beautiful Canyon Lake, Texas. As you can see, there is a canyon lake behind me. This is a really pretty spot. I'm like actually kind of blown away with how peaceful this place is. Did you know that the Zirky Show is everywhere?

You go, that is correct. You can watch it. You can scroll. You can stream it. The choice is yours. If you want to tap in, tell a friend. Tell your mom or dad. These are the best ways to tap in.

Do the things that bring you joy. Yeah, I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. If you're trying something new, just that I believe in you and Zirki Show. I love you. I love you. You give me a lot of purpose. You give me a lot of reasons to be grateful. And the people that I get to interact with because of the Zirky Show, you're all very special to me. I hope you know that. I'm very lucky. And so are you. We're all lucky. It's a beautiful world out there. Zirky Show. As always,

I'm sending you lots of love and peace.