the zurkie show - how to talk to strangers

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

there's one skill in my 23 years of living that separates itself from the rest. and that is the art of talking.

The worst feeling in the world is when you're talking to somebody, you just told them everything about your life. And they go, yeah, that's really similar to this part of my life. And I totally didn't listen to anything you just said. And instead, I'm going to tell you about me. Who wants to talk to someone like that? Skills pay the bills. Having something that you're good at opens up doors and opportunities. You never thought existed.

You're a great cook. You know how to really make some burgers at a tailgate. people are going to tap in. You know how to sing. You're like the next Sabrina Carpenter. Please, please, please. Come on now. I was in choir. But there's one skill I still think to this day. All the ones that I've acquired in my 23 years of living as Unk separates itself from the rest. And that is the art of talking. The art of yapping. And being a, good conversationalist. Now I know what you might be thinking. Zarki, I want that. I want to know how to talk to people. But it's hard. To which I say, yeah, duh, of course it's hard. You're going up to a

stranger and you're yapping about something. It's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be weird. You're going to have anxiety. Of course. Of course. But hey, I've decided I want to give you an early Christmas present. And I'm going to teach you everything I know to open up conversations in your life that you never knew existed. With people you haven't even met yet. This is how to talk to a. The first rule of talking to somebody is you have to initiate. Zerki, no, I want someone to just come up to me. Listen, that's what I thought too. When I went to college at the University of Georgia, Go dogs, I was so excited to walk down my campus

and see all the beautiful, young, bright minds that were in Athens, Georgia. But you know what I realized very quickly? Everyone on campus has their headphones in, AirPods blaring the new NetSpend song, and they don't care about you. Because they don't know you. So they just keep walking,

they're listening to whatever they're listening in their headphones maybe they got a podcast in maybe they're tapped into the zirky show i don't know but unfortunately no one's really going out of their way to say what's up regularly right but everyone would want it most people there are some people that like their space you got to respect that obviously but if you want to talk to someone talk to us someone you got to be the one It's gonna, it's gonna be me. You gotta be the one that pulls up and is like, hello. And it might be kind of weird, but if you want to talk to more people, you need to initiate.

Zerki, unc, what do I initiate with? This is a great question. The art of noticing. Every person has a hundred different ways that you can start a conversation with. For me personally what works is I always try to notice what they're wearing. I love football soccer. If I see somebody with a soccer or football jersey, if I see they're wearing a jersey, they've got a Holland jersey or antony jersey from Manu.

My inclination is, oh, I can go up to them and, you know, just start talking about ball, being like, hey, I, you know, compliment. Hey, I like your jersey, bro. You support Blank Team? Yeah, dude, I do, man. Oh, you watch Premier League? Heck yeah, I do. Same thing goes for artists, musicians, right? If someone's got a deaf punk shirt, I'm going to be like, yo, what up? If someone's got the Dreamville shirt on, I might chop it up with them about Jay Cole. I'll be like, do you like Forest Hills Drive?

And they will say yes, because everyone loves that album. them because it's goaded. So finding the details in that person. Maybe it's not a good idea to be like, oh, that person has a big nose, so I'm going to go and talk to them about their big nose. That's bold. Just try to go in with something, you know, a little bit chiller. But just be aware. In my opinion, a lot of interesting people wear cool things. They wear their inspirations and their passions on their sleeve. literally on their chest too. So notice. Another great way to talk to people is just you are in the same situation.

Both of you have ordered a $10 latte in East Austin. Great. You can talk about it. You can be like, hey, what flavor did you get? You got to initiate. Now, okay, this is important because this is where I think a lot of people get things wrong. How do I know if this person wants to talk to me? not really the three strike rule if you talk to them three times you give them three kind of

you know jabs a conversation and they're being dry like one word response they're not asking you any questions back drop it drop it it's not work no they don't want to talk to you don't take it personally they're just doing their own thing you move on easy game what are they interested in? If they tell you something that they're interested in, oh, I didn't know that you love space. What got you interested in space? The origin.

Origin story. Why are they interested in what they're interested in? What do they like about what they're interested in? What do you like about space? I love space because when I look up in the night sky, I see all these stars and I'm just like, they're so far away. For some people, though, it's really hard to pick up on social cues. And if you're one of those people,

do your best. If you have good intentions and you're being genuine, it'll be okay. And the conversation will kind of naturally end itself too. So don't worry. Okay, you're in a conversation now. You're chopping it up with bro, with broette, with whoever. How do you actually have a good conversation? Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sit. Play. Post, taste, view, and enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. In my opinion, it's about curiosity. Be curious.

Chop it up with them like they're an old friend, and you're asking about their life and what they've been up to. Relate to them. You know what? Yeah. I like space too. It's kind of crazy when you think about it. There's so many stars.

and we haven't really been to any. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it is kind of crazy. You already got a conversation started. Curiosity comes from questions. You have to ask questions if you want a good conversation. For me, I treat every combo with somebody as an opportunity to learn. Because they've lived an experience with their past.

and the things they love. And that is a perspective that I haven't lived through. It's valuable to me. I can learn something. Yesterday I was talking to a couple. They've lived in Colorado for 40 years. And they were telling me about all of the beautiful, busy ski resorts in Colorado.

Now, did I have an interest in ski resorts before I talked to them? Like, that's such a random thing, right? Not really, but when we opened, that can of worms, I realized, yo, this is actually kind of crazy. The origins of how all of these ski resorts got started is rooted from World War II and people from the GI Bill buying up land in Vale and Breckenridge. And now it's worth billions of dollars.

It was really interesting. I found things to be interested in because I asked questions. You have to ask questions. Have you listened to the new Talk to a podcast? Great question. Yes or no. Yes, you're goaded. No, you better listen to it right now. Also, there is a goldmine in asking people who their top streamed artist was this year. Spotify wrapped, just came out,

everyone's been looking at it and being like, this is embarrassing. Ask them. Now, this final tip is the most important one. If you take anything away from this video, it's this. In order to be good at Talk Tua, you have to be a good listener. You have to be a good listener. It's imperative. That is how you learn about people is through listening, letting them speak, knowing when it's their turn to speak. When you're getting to know someone asking questions, being inquisitive, letting them give you their perspective, that's the most important thing. And be attentive. the worst feeling in the world is when you're talking to somebody, you just told them everything about your life.

And they go, yeah, that's really similar to this part of my life. And I totally didn't listen to anything you just said. And instead, I'm going to tell you about me. Who wants to talk to someone like that? I do, me, I don't. Hell no. Hell no. I do not want to talk to someone like that.

Like, why would I? Why would I? They don't care. all they care is about saying what they want to say. And to be completely honest, when you start talking to more people, you'll realize very quickly if someone is a chiller or if they're just kind of narcissistic and won't shut up about themselves. But that's a part of the game.

You have to. You have to shoot your shot with everyone. You got to talk to a everyone. And one episode of Talk Tua might be better than the other, right? It's just how the game goes. It pays to be a good listener. Listen to the way that people are talking about themselves. Listen to the details they give you.

you, the glimpses, the windows into their own lives, and ask more about it. It's a choice to be interested. It's a choice to be curious about other people. I know there's some people who will say, I just don't care. I'm just so nonchalant. Like, I don't care. I'm sorry, but you're kind of choosing to do that. If you can be curious about something that you're passionate about, you can be curious about a stranger. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The price is right for. chin pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Hear that? That's your next obsession. Every coffee, a new world. Every sip, a new taste. This is the new Nespresso. One touch, endless possibilities. Iceed, flavored, long, short, because some days call for that espresso kick and

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Save the everyday with Amazon. Because a stranger's just a friend you haven't really met yet. Except when they're kind of odd, and then you don't really want to be friends, and then you kind of walk away slowly. at the bus stop at 2 a.m. Not a good situation to be in. Very, very last thing. There was an incredible quote

that I saw in the comments of my Just Tell them video. If you're afraid, do it afraid. If you're afraid, do it afraid. You ain't got to muster up the courage to go up to somebody. Just go up to them. Just go up to them.

Trust me, there's been times where I felt intimidated to talk to somebody. I was like, oh, I don't want to. What if they don't like? When you throw yourself in the deep water, you have no choice but to learn how to swim. Rewind. When you throw yourself in the deep water, you have no choice but to learn how to swim.

When you go up to somebody and you start the conversation, you're present. You're in there. And you just focus on talking to them, asking them questions. Keep it simple. You ain't got to give them a thesis about how you saw their awesome shirt from some obscure band, indie band, and how that band means so much to you. No, just chop it up with them. Everyone is human. Also, everybody is insecure about their own selves. They do not notice that you're kind of like going up slowly to them. No, they don't notice. I mean, maybe they don't us if you're

kind of being a little creepy, but they won't notice. Most people are so focused on their own selves, they won't notice your insecurities. So if you're scared that they're, they're going to notice that something's on your face, that you're, you're kind of like glazing them. They won't. They won't. They are too busy in their own head. I'm too busy in my own head when people talk to me. Just enjoy the conversation.

Have fun. And remember, it's not that deep. You got this. I believe in you. Zirky Show. I love you so much. I'm going to tell you that every single day. even if you're like,

shut up, I already know you love me. I love you even more. Hopefully this helped you a little bit. Let me know. Also, let me know what kind of video you want me to make

in the comments. I promise you, I'm going to start to get to them this upcoming week. It's been a hectic week for me. I've been hashtag chilling. Up in the mountains.

It's been fun. But maybe it's time for a little change of scenery. Stay tuned. Stay grounded. And read a book, man. Reading is low-key, so underrated. If you have a book you want to read,

like the Percy Jackson series or the Hunger Games, or even if there's like a self-improvement book you've been meaning to read, dude, get into it. And if you don't like to read, like me sometimes, audiobooks. Come on, free game. Someone's doing the hard work for you. All you're doing is listening to a.

Instead of talking to a, you're listening toa, the book. I appreciate all of you. Thank you. Peace. Swag. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time.

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