the zurkie show - if you feel like leaving, you should

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

you were meant for more. maybe you cringe thinking about it because you're scared of how other people would perceive you, but it's true.if you feel like your current situation isn't working, it's your responsibility to do something about it. and usually, that means leaving your old self behind.you got this.I'm sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaaaace!https://stan.store/thezurkieshow⁠

You will never understand the power you have as a person until you leave, until you say, I'm done. And that goes for everything in your life. That goes for the moments where you realize the friends that you have around you, the friends that you grew up with, they're not supporting what you're doing. It's when you realize that the partner you thought was yours, your OTP for lifer, they are stuck in the same spot. And they don't even realize it.

And they don't want to move. They're comfortable there. And you're not. And it also comes down to like physical location. You maybe have grown up in the same place and you are getting restless. And maybe you have had a couple arguments now with your parents where it's like, dude, I'm 18. I'm going to be 19. I'm going to be 20. I need to leave. And I am here to tell you that's not just you, you need to leave.

You should leave. You should leave. Why? Why should you leave something that seems pretty comfortable? Why should you go out and risk potentially having an experience that you won't like? There's no guarantee in any of it. There's no guarantee that if you get out of this relationship, going to find love again, which I don't know how being in a situation ship means love, because truth be told, if he wanted to commit, he would have committed already. If she wanted to commit, she would have committed already. Let's stop kidding ourselves. Please. There's no guarantee that the city that you're going to move to is going to solve all of your problems. It probably won't. You probably will end up in a city and realize, wait a minute, I have more alone time now. I'm not

happy. I'm not happy. So with all of this, with also the loom that your parents are, they're not going to be around forever. And honestly, when you, when you leave home, you don't see them as often as you think you would. You see them a lot less. Why should you leave? It's because if you don't, you will never know. That's the honest truth. Now, don't get me wrong. If you feel like things are good and you are happy and content, stay. Stay. Like a dog. Stay. Because if it isn't broke, don't fix it. It's cool, you know. But if there is something that you know deep down is not sitting with you correctly and it's making you question things.

And you can suppress it a certain amount, but then there gets a point where you're like, wait a minute. What if? You have to. I mean, you don't have to, but you should. You should. If you are not fully convinced and like, I'm going to commit to this and I understand that there is going to be regret

of other opportunities, but I don't care because this means the world to me. Then why would you not? Why would you not take that risk? Why wouldn't you just try it? Maybe it's because you're afraid of the person you're going to become. Maybe it's because you're not ready for the idea that some of your preconceived notions

about family, maybe about your life, about your capabilities are going to change. And you're going to realize that you are a lot more flawed than you thought you were. Or you're going to realize, probably more likely, that you are way more powerful and way more able than you thought you were. But again, that doesn't happen unless you just kind of try it. Unless you go out. Who would have thought I'd be out here? You know, like an astronaut in the ocean, you know?

What you know about rolling down in the deep? When the brain goes numb, you can call it mental freeze. When these people talk too much, put that in slow motion. I feel like an astronaut in the ocean. And I'm in the ocean right now, chilling. It's because I left. It's because I left. I left my hometown.

because I was like, I need to. And I was so scared. I begged my parents to come home. I was like, I don't want to be at school. I want to drop out. This is not, this is not for me. And I'm so glad I didn't. And they low-key were like,

we just paid for it. What do you mean? They were not happy about that phone call, bro. Oh my gosh. But maybe your, you should leave is actually, you know, taking a break from school because you're like, yo, I, this is not what I want to do. I want to do something completely different.

And I know what I want to do and I want to like, you know, work as an apprentice for, you know, a certain kind of craftsman who makes like French cutlery. It's sick. Why not? You know, or, you know what? No, I actually, I want to take this opportunity to go on some kind of trip with a couple friends to find myself. You know what?

People knock that. But like, why not? If you could do it, like, why not? Why not? But let's talk about the actual decision to leave. Because you will very quickly realize who supports you and who doesn't. And I realized very quickly, like, when I told people that I was leaving to go to Georgia for school, some people were like, what?

Why? And it was weird. I had to explain myself. And I had to, like, weasel my way into explaining myself. honestly somebody should be like yeah that's that's sick my real friends were really supportive of that and they were like that's a really good decision like go in man do it and even my real friends who were like kind of against the idea they they sat me down and they told me oh like you need to consider this or you got to think about this bro and i was like all right i'll consider it but i still i knew

that i should leave i knew it it was the same thing when, oh, when I realized I was in a relationship with someone that I was infatuated with, not in love with. And I remember after we had seen each other, they left my apartment. And I was like, I do not like this person. And it was, I felt guilty. I felt insanely guilty because I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, swore that I like I had it in the bag I had the relationship you know somebody that I found really attractive and all my friends when I show them pictures they were like yo man she's so bad you know

but in my gut I knew that like that was not the person for me I just I knew it no no no I can't do that I can't leave I worked so hard for this you should leave and when that thought ran through my mind, I felt so defeated because for some reason I had put having a relationship on such a pedestal that to me it felt like I had lost. It felt like I had all the hype in the world and I was like Liverpool versus Rail Madrid, UCL final. It's like you know who wants to win, right? Like every, the whole world wants Liverpool to win, no offense. And then like, still, you get beat. beat bad and you're like

bruh what happened yeah yeah and I mean when that thought entered my mind of like I should leave them it was it was like a instant kind of yeah I need to do this this is not good if I stay in this is not going to be good

this is going to be very bad it's going to get worse and I'm so thankful I listened to that because both of us deserved better both of us It wasn't like, you know, it was only me. It was her too. She deserved better.

She deserved somebody who was genuinely invested in her because of her and not what she could just provide. It's not a way to look at a relationship, you know? But I had to learn that. And I had to, and I listened. That's the difference. Because I've had that kind of thought a few times with different people in my life. And it took me. longer to listen because I was so bent on no no that's not no no no them not texting me back

they're actually busy even though they're you know active on Instagram who okay I'm sorry people do that all right I be observant that's all you know I'm saying not trying to be too stalkerish about it no but on a serious note it's like I was just gaslighting myself into believing that my current situation was way better than it was, and it wasn't good. And maybe your situation isn't good right now. Maybe it's actually really bad. You got like a hinge situation ship, and it's complicated. Really? It's complicated?

No, they don't like you. I'll simplify it. They don't like you, but they like what you bring. They like the company. They like maybe certain features about you without getting too in depth. You know what I'm talking about, you know. But you don't want that. That's not what you want. You want a partner. You want to commit. But maybe all of your friends are telling you, bro, like, who cares about that? Like, they're there. But if this, if this is creeping into your

mind and you're like, I don't think I should be with them, then you should leave them. You should leave them. I'll say it. I'll be the person that bears the news. I will be the person that that tells you it's okay, it's fine. You can feel guilty about it, but if you don't feel good about it, get out of there. In the future, the same will be true about our careers, our life, what we decide to do with our time, because we got to make a living,

because $60 at Chili's is not something that just air drops out of nowhere. No, you have to work and get money so you can spend it at Chili's. That is the bane of the human existence. And with that being the case, you also have to know if you're doing something that feels right. People talk about do what you love, do what you love,

and it's a privilege to do what you love. It truly is. Not everyone gets to do that. But if it feels good, the bills are paid, you feel like you're on top of things and you're doing it in your own way, great.

But if you don't, no matter how much money you make, you will still get this thought that you should leave. And it will be a very scary thought. The more responsibilities you have, the harder it will be to rationalize this and be like, well, I mean, yeah, I should leave, but like, I got a kid. Or, you know, I got debt. Or man, I got something, you know, I used Klarna on my groceries. It's hard. It's difficult. But if it doesn't feel right, nothing will change it.

It won't. Like the way that it feels right now, unless something miraculous happens, which maybe it will, you're locked in and not locked in like, oh, we're locked in. No, no, no, no, no. You're locked into that reality. And if you don't like it, you should. But what, but Zerke, I went to school for X and, and I want to really do Y. I know.

I know. It's not, no one ever said this is easy. It's not. But you're going to have to spend your time regardless, right? So maybe taking that risk is at least worth it. Just to see, just to see. you can go back you can always go back

but if you don't explore something you have no idea about then you'll never know you'll never know you will never know and maybe you shouldn't leave maybe you've realized that your situation right now is pretty dang good and that's a beautiful thing it's a beautiful place to be in

but still I just worry that some of us believe we can't do it because we haven't done it yet. And we're living with a preconceived notion of what that would have been like. And it's like you have no idea. You have no clue. Yeah, I mean, if I would have tried a little harder, I could have gone pro.

You're as good as the couch quarterback. You know what I'm saying? It's like, yeah, dude, I've seen your highlight tape 300 times. It's great. It's awesome. You should have gone pro. But you didn't. You didn't.

And do you want your existence to be like? like that, you know? That you could have, but you didn't. That you could have had a partner who genuinely loves every part of you, every bit of you is like adores you, but you didn't. Because when you had the thought and you knew something was not good for you, you said, eh. You said, uh, not me. And there's a good chance if you're listening to this, you're like, uh, not me too.

Not me too. I don't want that. Okay. Good. Admitting is the first step, you know. So what are you going to do about it? Maybe you really want to move. You want to go somewhere new.

But it's expensive. Oh, I know. Oh, I know it's expensive, bro. Moving is expensive. Okay. What do you need to do to do it? What is like the minimal amount that you could do to do it? Because if you want to get it done,

you'll find a way. Because there's always a way. It's not comfortable. It's never comfortable. You think realizing that you have internal problems with yourself and you might have to get some professional help, it's a it's a comfortable feeling. No, it's uncomfortable. You feel broken. You feel sometimes less than. You have to. You have to kind of fall into your insecurities a little bit. You have to kind of get into this little hole where you're like, oh my goodness, I can't do it. Oh, I can't. Oh, man. And that's okay.

You can be in this little rut. But while you're there, just ask yourself, okay, if I did want to change, if I did want to entertain something new, what would that even look like? Because I think you're a lot closer than you think. I think really what it takes is changing a little bit of your approach and really, that maybe the goals that are going to define that new version of you, that new place you want to move to, right, or that new partner, there are a couple minor tweaks and just finding a new place to put your energy in. I've so many friends who have been like, yeah, man, I want to, I want to, I really admire what you did. I admire the fact that you could just pick up and move halfway across the country, bro. That's crazy. And I ask him, I'm like, well, well, thank you. It's awesome, you know. But why can't you do that? And they're like, oh, yeah, I mean, I just can't.

I can't do that. And it's like, why? Why not? And some of them have very valid responses. I have family. I have this going on. You know, I want to be close to my friends here. Totally valid.

But some of them don't have an answer. They're just like, I can't. Well, do you want to? Yeah. I'd love to. I want to live in Seattle one day. That'd be beautiful. I could go to, you know, Mount Rainier every day, which I think after a while it would get boring. Actually, no, it wouldn't, because Mount Rainier is gorgeous. If you're ever in Washington, go. It is beautiful. Shy, Shea Beach is beautiful. There's just so many beautiful spots up there, man. Oh, Pacific Northwest.

You have a special place in my heart. But like, they just, they need. They need. know they should leave, but they just, they can't. Because they tell themselves they can't. And that's really sad. Because they'll never know. They'll never know. And it's another thing knowing if that's like a genuine desire, or is it something that you're influenced by

because you see other people do it? And so you think you need to do it. Do you genuinely want to move to Dubai? Is that the, is that the, like, that's you talking? Or is that the prospect of what it would, look like to other people is that is that really what's kind of at play there i don't know it could be both could be both but i just want you to realize that if you have like this urge to leave you should you should and it's less of an urge and more of a feeling because sometimes you'll be urged

to to do something and it's actually you you react to you reacting in the only way you know how to. I have some, you know, kind of unhealthy habits in the past of, like, reacting to things by, like, shutting down and just, like, being quiet. And sometimes I still deal with that now, but I'm more cognizant of it. I'm able to work through it a little bit more. And I've gotten a lot better at just, like, speak in my mind when I need to speak my mind. Case and point.

But anytime I kind of have that, you know, that urge, I now know that it's an urge and it's not feeling because a feeling it lingers like an urge is an instant kind of like you know it's like a jerk you know but but a feeling of of wanting to leave of wanting something more it constantly reminds you it's like a reminder that you forget on your phone and it's just like always like you know in the morning and you're like oh i forgot that but i do have to do that i do have to do laundry Misenia, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play.

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I'm waiting for things. to change. They won't. Maybe the things are waiting on you to change. And then it will fall into place. Because any time I've waited on somebody, anytime I have sat there like a dog, you know, like a good boy. What? It's never, it's never, the treat never came. It didn't. You have to take it for what it is. And if it's not good, it, it was. It was, it, it was, it, it, it's never, it's never, it's won't be good. It won't ever be good. Maybe through some work it will be, but you have to initiate that. But sometimes there's so much power in realizing that you know what, you're done. And your time is up. And you should leave. And you should do it because you actually genuinely want to. And

there's a feeling that's telling you that that's the right decision. And you got to follow it. You've got to follow it, Cirkey. show, please just give it a shot. It's better to try it and realize that it wasn't for you and kind of satiate that part of you that was hungry

for a challenge, hungry for something new, than to wonder for the rest of your life, what if? You could, but you didn't. Did you know that the Zerky Show is everywhere you go? What? Yes, that is correct. You can watch it, you can scroll it, you can stream it. We are the Zerky Show.

everywhere you go. We got great communities everywhere. So if you want to tap in, tap in. We just got a letter from the Zerky Show. Yes, we have a P.O. Box, and we are looking for people to send in questions, anything really for a new show called

Mail Time with Zirky. If you want to tap in, this is the way to tap in, this is how you address your letter. Whatever you send, I cannot wait to see what your beautiful mind comes up with. So tap in. Do the things that bring you joy. Tell your crush. that you had a good day today.

You know, just start a little conversation, you know, go up to him and be like, hey, what's your name? What is your name? What do you bring? I think that I got what you need and I wanted to do everything that you please. Right? That's how it goes. Anyways, just don't think about it too deep.

It's going to be all right. I know you might be going through a tough moment right now, but things will be okay. Things will smooth over. Time heals. It does. And it will pass. So enjoy the moment you're in, no matter how crazy down in the trenches you might be. just know it will pass and you will be okay.

Zerky Show, if you're trying something new, I believe in you, give it a shot. And other than that, I love you, I trust you. And as always, I'm sending you plenty of love and peace.