the zurkie show - if you like them, you should tell them

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

why didn't you say anything? it's because you were scared.

Why did I not say anything? It's because I was scared. Have you ever gotten the text that says, Hey, let's grab coffee from someone you haven't spoken to in a few months or even a few years? Yeah, I got that the other week. So me and a friend decide to go grab this coffee. And within the first couple of minutes of talking, I'm reminded as to why she's my friend.

She's funny. She has an infectious smile. she's just the best. And as the minutes of our conversation turn into hours, and we both look at our phones, we kind of have a silent agreement that it's probably time to wrap things up.

But I couldn't leave that conversation until I told her the secret. The reason why it was hard for me to keep in touch for the past three years. I look to her and I say, I need to tell you something. She looks back at me and she says, what?

And I say, I had a big crush on her. you, silence. She kind of looks away and looks at me back and she's like, when? And I say immediately throughout high school, I really liked you. I really liked you. We were friends, but I just couldn't get it out of me to tell you. It wasn't the time and place. I don't know. I just couldn't do it. She's looking out the window and she looks back at me and she says, I wish you would have. I say, why? Because I had a crush on you too. Oh my gosh.

Generational fumble. Atlanta Hawks at the Super Bowl level fumble. In the end, we laughed about the whole thing. I mean, she has a partner of three years. I have a partner of none. But in the end, I really reflected on that whole situation, and I thought, why did I not say anything? It's because I was scared.

You should tell them. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Zerki. You just told us. that you were scared of saying that you liked this girl. I was. So then if you're scared of something, I mean, doesn't that mean like we shouldn't do that? No.

You should. Because it's easier to deal with the pain of rejection than it is to deal with the pain of regret. Rejection is temporary. It comes and goes. Hey, I like you. I think you are ugly. That really hurt my feelings, but it is what it is.

and that probably won't happen, but you get what I'm saying. Versus 10 years later, hey, I like you. I have a husband and kids. Whoa! That's going to feel some type of way. It's better to just say it. To just tell them. You like somebody.

They're in your class. They sit across from you. You guys have chemistry. What are you doing? Not saying something. Lausagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play.

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because I knew I should have said something. And that doesn't just go for relationships too. It goes for friendships. It goes for opportunities. It goes for ideas that you have in your life that you just wish you would have shared, that you would have told someone. When you don't say it, when you don't express how you feel, it bottles up and you become bitter. It starts to rot inside of you because you have, there's nowhere for it to go. So if you just keep it in, it starts to churn and churn and churn. And that's how people become bitter. there are a lot of people in this life who didn't do what they wanted to do, who didn't say things that they wanted to say, who didn't tell someone that they had feelings for them while they were still alive.

Don't be that person. Rejection sucks. Let's be honest. Nobody wants to hear no. Nobody wants to feel these emotions that they have towards someone. They go up to them and they say, I just don't feel the same way. feel heartbroken. But that doesn't last the same amount of time as you not saying anything and then being quiet for the rest of your life. You should tell them. There's a friend that you really, really love and you feel like you guys haven't really been talking that often and you miss them. You should tell them that you miss them. There's someone that has had such a profound impact on your life. You should tell them that they have had that. There's someone who's been driving you crazy.

Geez, they are just off the rails and you're like, dude, I, I, hey, I need space. You should tell them because sometimes people have no idea and you'd be surprised as to the answers to the questions that come afterwards. When you tell someone something, it opens up a box. Now, trust me, sometimes there are boxes you don't want to open. There's just, there's too much in there. But sometimes boxes need to be opened in order for you to have a new understanding and be on the same page. And when you delay telling somebody something, when you aren't honest with how you feel, those boxes get lost.

Like UPS, like Amazon, they get lost. And then you feel lost. because you don't even know how to express yourself. You don't allow yourself to be honest with the people around you in your life. It's easier said than done. This isn't easy. It's hard and it's scary.

Because the reason, again, I didn't tell my crush in high school that I liked her was because I was afraid. I was scared. We were such good friends. We had a great bond. We would hang out. we would do awesome things together. We would listen to the same music.

We would text each other and we were on the same wavelength. And I didn't want to mess that up. Even though I knew something was there, something was there, I didn't want to mess it up because I was scared. Because what if I said something and then it's weird and then it's odd and, ah. But now I have to sit here with regret. for the rest of my life.

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Now, am I that regretful? No. Say la vie. We move on. I'm sure there's things in your life that have already happened. And maybe you feel a little bit nostalgic or regretful for. But that's life. not everything is going to be perfect this ain't no Pixar movie bro

this is total drama island this is literally total drama island so don't worry about it if there's something that happened if there's someone that had feelings for and you know it is what it is just we move on we progress there are so many more fish in the sea except the sea has had many oil spills

so take that with what it's worth Anyways, we're going to be okay. We're going to be fine. Being honest is hard. But if you do it and you tell them, tell them what's up, tell them and all, you're going to be happy. You're going to be happy. You're going to look back at what you told them, no matter how it goes. And you're going to be like, I'm happy.

I said how I felt. Because so many people don't. You'll talk to somebody. and you know you have a feeling you're not being honest with me there's something below this there's something underneath this that I'm just not being told but I am being told through body language through the way that you don't want to look at my face through the way that you're just kind of you know distancing yourself from me I've been in relationships with people where I knew they were over before they even said anything and I had to be like you need to be honest with me

because something is off. No, we're totally good. We're totally, we're fine, we're thriving. We're not thriving. You haven't texted me in two days. You used to text me every hour. What's going on? It's just, I don't know.

You do know. You just don't want to say it, which is fine. It's your choice. But I choose to be around people who say how they feel. Tell them. You should tell them. Hey, I think you're cute. I've had a crush on you for the last two years.

We should go on a date. Hey, I don't like the way that you interact with me. You're always punching me in the shoulder. Why do you do that? Can you please stop? I don't like it. Hey, I want to be an artist. I want to make music.

I need help. I need help from you. You're a great producer. You're a great drummer. You're a great trumpet player. Could you please just help me? You'd be surprised to what all of those questions have as an answer. There's another reality though where you don't, where you don't do this. You don't tell

them and you live in silence. And that's your choice because that reality is grim. But there is a warmer, beautiful side to expressing how you feel and doing so in a way that matters to you and it's intentional to you. Intentional. Intentionality. But it's true. It's true. You should tell them. Things are feeling a little less human these days, aren't they? But isn't the whole point of progress to make things more human? That's why, at TD, when we design a product, whether it's an app for making trading easier or monitoring your account for fraud, we ask one simple question.

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Get 20% off almost all regular priced merchandise. Two days only. Tuesday, April 28th and Wednesday, April 29th. Open your PC optimum app to get your coupon. Dude, if I had like five bucks for every person that I didn't tell, I had feelings for, or I just wasn't honest with my emotions and my intentions with them, bro, I would have been able to buy Bitcoin. Real talk.

I would have had like three Bitcoin chilling in the Coinbase. But instead, I didn't even listen to my own advice. And now it is what it is. So tell them. Because think about it, what's the worst thing that can really happen? You shouldn't look at it as the result is what matters here. It does to a certain extent, obviously, right? You tell your crush that you like them.

You want them to like you back so you guys can date and then move to Austin, Texas, and run together. and join a run club and have a cyber truck, sure. What if the goal was just to say how you felt? If you just say how you feel, that's the goal. You feel good about that. I did my part, but you can't control it. There's no controlling that.

So the only thing you can control is just saying how you feel. That should be the goal. If you can do that, you've succeeded. You've succeeded. You did your job. job because if you don't, he'll eat at you. And then you're going to be regretful. And that's not a way to live life, in my opinion. Zerky Show. I love you so much. I hope you know that. I'm going to tell you that every time I see you. I love you. Moving forward, I just want to let the people know.

I'm still trying to get to all of these video requests. It's a lot. Please be patient. I'm doing my best. Either way, I want you to know, I believe in you. If there's something you want to do this next year, it's coming up. It's already December, bro. Like, 2024 is cooked. It's Dunsky. Start thinking about it. I want to learn a new instrument.

Okay, how are we going to do that? How many hours a day are we going to practice? I want to learn how to speak Mandarin. Sure. Do you have a program to help you? Do you have a tutor? Let's get to it. 2025 is the year where we're making these dreams and these goals.

goals come into fruition. And it's going to take work. It's going to take a lot of hard work. I'm here for you for that. I hope you know. Zerke's show. Love you. Take it easy.

Don't stress yourself out too much. Peace.