the zurkie show - is it settling if you’re happy

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

if they make you smile, they're worth your while.don't let the comparison ruin a good thing.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Comparison will ruin any relationship you try to have, any serious one, one where you actually feel like another person gets you. If you compare them to some, I don't know, 10 out of 10 that you see in your feed or at a bar, it's going to ruin the chances of survival. That's genuinely what I think, because I think people are very much jaded nowadays with attraction and what attraction actually means. I don't think that you should settle. don't settle. But if a group of your girlies are telling you, don't settle for him, oh my God, come be single with us.

When they've been single for five years, is that a perspective you want to listen to? Are they really looking out for you in the right way, or are they just trying to spin a narrative for you to believe that you would be better off with them? Because a relationship with people don't tell you is it's a commitment. It's time. And in a relationship you will grow and you will learn about yourself. And oftentimes you will learn that the people that are the most against a relationship

that is good for you are not good people to have in your life. And that's a hard pill to swallow. And what's also a harder pill to swallow is that your friends that are chasing girls at the bar every Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And are preaching to you, bro, don't settle. Why would you settle with her, bro, dude, like, it's a world of possibility. But you know deep down in your gut, she's special. She's the one that's going to give you a hug at the end of a long shift and tell you, I believe in you. You still got this.

I know you're in a rough place, but that has never changed the way that I look at you. You're really going to listen to them. I did. I did. I did to people who are great. But the opinion of other people outweighed. the respect I had for myself.

And if you really love somebody, you have to stand up for yourself and you have to stand up for your relationship. And no matter what happens, there will be perspectives that will challenge you and there will be people that will make you think, man, I mean, they're not bad. Like, is my girlfriend really up to the standard?

It is a dangerous, dangerous game. And you know what's the, I think, culprit in this don't. settle mindset. A four-letter word, lust. Now, I'm sure you've heard of lust in religious contexts, but I want to talk about lust in a very real way, because lust can damage your life. Lust can be addicting. It can be something that you want to pursue over and over and over again because it is fun, because in the beginning stages of a relationship, yeah, it's explosive, it's fiery. It's like you're texting each other. Oh my gosh, it's puppy love, all of that.

But the thing with lust is it's quick. It's a quick dopamine head. It's a quick thing that you can experience. And after a while, well, it becomes boring. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you. what you've got. Sign up for free at RBC training ground.ca. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy.

Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that and enjoy. Via rail, love the way. And you will realize that the people that you kind of cycled through and you know, you listened. You're like,

I'm not settling. I'm not trying to be with anybody right now. I'm not ready for a relationship. they were actually really good. They were actually great. And I don't know about you, man, but you get tired. When you get older, you get tired, and you just want something that's there, and that's stable.

And yes, it's cool to have a bunch of different flavors. It's awesome to brag about how many flavors you've had and where you've tasted them. But at the end of the day, man, if I know I can get one good flavor all the time. And I know that flavor also appreciates my flavor and my quirks and my weirdness in the way that I exist in this world. How is that settling?

How is that settling? And this mindset also appears into this whole like live your 20s. Your 20s are for experiencing the world. says who. Now, don't agree, I mean, don't get me wrong. I agree with it. I think you should travel a lot. I think you should meet as many people as you can. I think you should 20s max. I think you should do all these things.

Go on trips. Like, if you have the freedom, do it. But if you know what you want, I think it is more admirable for you to pursue that and pursue it to its fullest. Then worry about the endless distractions that people create being in their 20s. Because traveling is beautiful, but traveling all the time is draining. moving to a new city every year is awesome. But it's nice to know people in a certain place, and it's nice to come back somewhere and feel like it's home. These are things that I think are good to consider.

And if not in your 20s, like later down the road, but don't write it off completely, because people, I think, also fall in the trap of, like, I'm going to live the rest of my life like it is my 20s. And also, what is, like, settling in your 20s mean? if you are happy working a job that is stable, if you are happy living in the same place that you grew up with, if that's something that brings you joy and you have tried the other options, what is wrong with admitting that that is good? Well, it's the fear that you're going to be perceived as somebody who didn't try,

or you're going to be perceived as somebody who is lame and settled. And there's a weird part of me that's kind of realizing this now. I have a lot of people I know in my hometown in Palatine that they work corporate jobs now and they commute on the Metro and they go downtown and they hang out with their with their bros on the weekends and watch the Bears. And you know what part of me when I was growing up used to used to look at that and be, you know, and cringe and be spiteful and be like that is like such a, there's so much to this life. There's so much you could be doing. You could be in the middle of the mountains in Colorado and you choose to be on your couch watching the Bears. But if that makes them happy, then who am I to say that that is bad? I can't.

And in the same way, I don't think we should judge people that want to live a simple life. And I don't think we should judge people that want to be with the same person. I've had to learn this. I've had to learn this. Being in a relationship is very difficult, especially when you are exposed to a world, especially now, where there are options, right? but those options are a facade because what you get out of a partner, what you get out of somebody who is consistently there for you and loves you are the inside jokes, are the automatic intuitive

things they do for you that you don't even have to think about. You're like, oh my gosh, the table is set because I'm cooking dinner. That's really special. It's the teamwork of going through life because going through life alone, although it's something you got to do, it's hard. It's good to have some help. It's good to have somebody looking out for you and telling you, hey, you're a little chubby. Maybe like hit the treadmill.

You know, it's good. And we've conflated the idea of having something good with settling. Wow. They're always together. Man, he's settled, bro. Like, come on. And if it's a looks thing, I get that. I understand where people kind of use that phrase.

But also, who the heck are you to say anything about anyone? It's not your relationship. Now, it's different when, you know, somebody is being actively disrespected by their partner. Okay. There's room to be like, bro, like this person is just not a good person for you. But in terms of looks, I still think it's subjective, but I won't sit here and act like it doesn't matter. We want to have a partner that we find attractive, of course. But don't base your attractiveness and the things that you like off of other people and other people's opinions.

That is, that is dangerous. and that is very, very easy to get addicted to of like, well, okay, if I date this person, what will my friends think? What will my bestie think? Will she accept them? But if your bestie has an interest in wanting to keep you her bestie and she thinks that you being in a relationship will take you away from that, she will not accept anybody. Nobody will be accepted.

Don't settle. Okay, let's go on the contrary, though. Because there is this unspoken thing that everybody goes through in a relationship that we do not talk about, which is this idea that we want to be with somebody else, that we are not content with the person that we're with. I want to address it because I haven't seen a good explanation of like how do you deal with these things. And these are thoughts that you will go through, especially if you're in some kind of disagreement. Maybe your partner has been dropping the ball a little bit. Maybe they're going through a hard time and you are feeling like, well, am I just better than them? It's dangerous.

It's a dangerous thing. And I think that where you have to really look inward and reflect is how are you measuring their contributions to your relationship? Because for some people, they expect their partner to like bring in 50-50, bring in, you know, money, bringing in all these things. But for other people, that's not their dynamic. And what they care about is more that you have a partner that's just interested in the things that you do. we'll call you and we'll check in on you. And that is actually where the interest lies. It's weird because when we do get down this rabbit hole of like, well, this person has

been kind of messing up recently, somebody else wouldn't do that. I think it's this very toxic expectation that if you got what somebody knew, they would be perfect and they wouldn't have any problems. No, they will definitely have problems. Nobody comes perfect. Everyone has some kind of anxieties, some kind of tendencies, some kind of weird, you know, in Polish you say Vitaya, but it's like characteristics

or just things they do. You will never just get a clean slate of a person if you did. That would be the most boring person to be with. Borderline a robot. And there are people that do that too. I don't know if you've tapped into that. But you know what? That's not something I'm interested in. I want to have a human being. I don't want an AI girlfriend.

So then I think what you should do if you're at this crossroads of like, I feel like my boyfriend is just not good enough. I feel like girlfriend, my partner is just not good enough. Look at all the evidence that you're building against them. Examine it. Look at it.

Be like, okay, they dropped the ball here. They did this. They're not like as, you know, locked in as I am. And now I want you to look at all the positives. Because as many negatives as there are, there are definitely positives. What will happen is when you start looking at the positives. you'll realize why they're special. You'll realize, you know what?

They just get me. I don't have to say too much. I can kind of make a kind of offensive joke, and they won't take it to heart. They'll chew me out for it, but you know what? They'll laugh and be like, okay, don't say that again.

And they'll be okay. They're also just so attentive with me. They listen to me. They hear me out. And that's something special. And they care. They find things for me that I would love, and they keep me in mind wherever they go. And when you have these realizations, you actually begin to lose the horse blinders of like,

my partner is so bad, and you begin to actually appreciate the things that they bring into your life that are good. And sometimes we need to lose that in order to realize how good it was. That's just like a kind of how it goes. Frankly, it's kind of how it goes. but the opposite thing can happen. You might have a situation where you're actually trying to find all of these things, and you can't. In that case, if there's more negatives than there are positives, if you've actually gone through in your mind and been like, do they suck?

The only thing they really got for them is the fact that I know them, I guess, but the rest is like, I have to, I carry a lot in this relationship. I would say that you shouldn't settle. You shouldn't settle. It shouldn't feel that way. They should be contributing in the way that they can and the way that is natural and good. You can bring it up to them. You can try to have a conversation of like, yo, I don't think you're holding your own in this.

And they can say that they'll change. And you should give them a shot. But also, there is a reality where you outgrow the significant other in your life. There is. where you have kind of started to change on your own and you've kind of started to adopt a certain mindset, a certain idea of like how the world works and not just being really upset at everything all the time

and just actually trying to find ways to make things work. And you come to the conclusion that I cannot be with someone who is just negative all the time. These are difficult things. Nobody said it was going to be easy for you to be honest, but honesty always wins. And it's something that I think if you know how to deal with, and you know how to be like, okay, this is, this is kind of the reality of things.

Let's figure out what I can do about it. Let's have a conversation. And if I need to leave, I'll leave. It takes all the pressure off you. But be careful. I've witnessed people in my life. Torch something they had that was good because they wanted to fill their ego. Because they wanted to get with somebody.

that was out of their league, and now that they had some clout or some respect they could, and they might lie to you and say that they're doing awesome, but they are broken inside. They are broken inside. Or maybe they're doing awesome.

And in that case, good for them. If you are concerned that you are settling, examine it. Don't let that just become a fear. If it becomes an irrational fear and it becomes an anxiety, you will convince yourself over time that you are. But if you actually listen to it and listen to where this is coming from, you'll actually realize maybe it's something within yourself.

Maybe you think that if other people found out about your relationship, they would judge you. If other people found out about how serious you are about marrying this person or how you want to build a family with them, they would think that that is so crazy because you're in your 20s and you're supposed to enjoy life, bro, and go to Vietnam and Thailand. find yourself, but if that's something you don't want to do, why would you do that? Why would you do that? Don't settle for a perspective that isn't yours. Don't settle for also not challenging your perspective. Don't settle on being with people that have their own little twisted agenda that want you to be miserable.

And don't settle for believing that you can't change. and that you can't leave somebody if they're not willing to change with you and that you know what your time matters and if the person that you're with is training you it is completely okay to move on zirky show today's episode of the zirki show is filmed in beautiful cripple creek colorado in my humble opinion colorado is an s to your state if you have not been to colorado in your life make it a mission okay zirki is sending you on a mission to go and visit it. It is unreal. It will change your life. The Zirky Show is everywhere you go. That is correct. You can watch it. You can scroll it.

You can stream it. The choice is yours. If you want to tap in, tell a friend, family member, aunt, uncle, distant relative about the Zerkey Show. This is the Zirky Show everywhere you go all over the globe. Tapir! Do the things that bring you joy. Don't listen to people that you don't want to take advice from. If somebody is genuinely miserable, why would you listen to what they have to say? can learn from them. Okay, you can learn from them. But if they want to spew something on to you, take you with a grain of salt. Because at the end of the day, you're going to have to live through most of these experiences and you're going to have to deal with it in your own special way. There isn't a playbook to life. You got to live it and you got to experience it. And that's the beauty of it. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. And as always, Zirky Show,

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