the zurkie show - it’s time to walk away from them

Episode Date: January 18, 2025

some people should be loved from a distance, others shouldn't be in your life, period. this is how you know the people around you, are actually good for you. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

If they're a bad friend, they're a bad friend. It doesn't matter when you met them. It doesn't matter when you thought that you guys were besties. No, they're not a good friend. It's done. It's over. You need to stop hanging out with people who don't see your worth. You got to stop doing that.

You have to stop giving in to people who walk all over you, who think it's okay to laugh at things you're interested in, laugh at you, your quirks, the things that make you you need to stop. I don't know who needs to hear it but I know why you're doing it because it's the reason I did it it's scary it's scary to stand up for yourself

it's scary to do something that has your best interest when your entire life you were doing things for other people but when that friend group is knowingly not inviting you to things and instead you are their lap dog to call on when they need something if that X of yours has gone a few weeks and is calling you friend and being very friendly,

stop. Use your space. Space is something that's scary. I mean, it is. Like, why would you want to willingly distance yourself from people? Why would you want to close yourself off when everyone tells you, when I've told you even, no, open yourself. up meet new people because some people in this life are not good for you some people in this life that they they don't they don't care about you they don't care the way you think they do and it shows not by what they say it shows in the way that they act it shows in the way that you try to reach out and they're cold shouldering they only hang out with you when you

ask. And listen, certain relationships are different. We have friends that we text and call every day. We have friends that we talk to once a year. And our relationships with both of them are equal in value. We value both of those relationships equally because they serve a purpose and those people care about us. But there are people and a lot of us are in relationships with people who do not care. And you feel suffocated because maybe you're starting realize that this person you idolized and you're friends with now, right? They, they're not good for you. To them, you are not somebody who deserves respect. And that's bad. It's bad because it will not change. At least I don't think it will. I have been convinced that there are very few people who change genuinely because it takes them to do it. You can't change somebody else. You can't change somebody else.

can't. You can tell them what's up. You can tell them, hey, I think this would be a very good idea for you to implement. Hey, I think you should treat me like a human being. You should acknowledge that I have feelings that I'm passionate about things and you shouldn't just laugh things off. But instead, we subjugate ourselves to these relationships. We willingly put ourselves into these things and we don't know how to get out of them. And I'm telling you, the way that you do that is you use your space. If you are given time right now from a partner, let's say you and somebody have decided to go on a break, use your space, use it, go and live life without that person and see if there's a difference.

Just see if there's a difference. See if you can feel a difference. Do you feel happier? Do you feel more fulfilled? Do you feel less stressed out? Because you don't have to worry about stepping on eggshells all the time. You don't have to worry about another person's feelings because, oh, I want them to be happy. Do you feel better?

And if the answer is yes, it's not good. Rose and lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play Ojo. The online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games. What you win is yours to keep with no wagering requirements. Instant payouts and no minimum withdraws.

Hey, I just won. Woohoo. Feel the fun. Play Ojo. Honey, forget about the lasagna. Let's celebrate. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

Concern about your gambling or that of someone close to you. Call 16-531-2600 or visitconnectsont.ca. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. It's not a good relationship for you. It's a good thing that you now know that.

Don't get me wrong. But that relationship, it's got to go. It's got to go. It's going to make you feel even worse. You will know that you genuinely like somebody and they genuinely like you when you miss them. When you miss them deeply. And it's not that you miss them accompanying you. You miss them.

you miss them the person not the fact that you don't have to think about your own insecurities because you're with this person and you're preoccupied no you miss that person for who they are that's how you know you like them because for a lot of us we're passing time we have mid friends we have mid people in our lives because we don't take initiative to really examine if relationships are good for us. And if the quality is genuine and if the, if the space that we spend without them, we value.

I value my alone time a lot. I value my time with myself a lot. I love spending time with other people. I love it. But I also need time for myself. I need it. Like SpongeBob when he needed water. I need my alone time.

And the best thing you can do, when that friend group is knowingly ignoring you, not putting you in group chats, remove yourself. Take a step back. Too many times in my life I've tried to prove that I'm worthy to other people who didn't see my worth. I would show up with a silver platter. It would have appetizers on it. Here's an appetizer that shows that I'm worthy. Here's an appetizer that shows I'm a good friend. Here's an appetizer that shows I'm actually lovable and I can help you out.

And it doesn't matter because they've already decided don't care. And that's out of my control. And that's out of your control too. So reclaim that time. Reclaim it. Take that time and use it for something that's good. for you. Use it for that person that's been trying to talk to you in class that, you know,

seems like just one of those friends you would never hang out with. If they're showing initiation and they're like, hey, dude, how's your day going? How's your weekend? Hang out with them. They care. If that X of yours is just being too in your space, too, like, demanding after a breakup because they want to still be. friends, use your space. Man, use your space. You do not owe anything to anybody. Real talk. You

don't. You can be courteous. You can be nice. You can respect the fact, okay, I respect that you want to be friends and this friendship means something to you and, you know, our relationship. It is what it is. But you do not owe them being friends. You don't. It's your life. You had something. It's gone. It's gone. Why is it that we feel like, well, but they're like, I knew them since childhood.

If they're a bad friend, they're a bad friend. It doesn't matter when you met them. It doesn't matter when you thought that you guys were besties. No, they're not a good friend. It's done. It's over. They don't see your worth. Maybe they saw your worth at one point, and they've changed.

And that's not something you should hold it against them for. It's just the course of life. It is what it is. We change. You can feel bitter about it. You can. And it's normal to. That's not going to change the fact that they don't want to be your friend.

That's not going to change the fact that they're not interested, that they don't really initiate anything. And they don't want to hang out with you. That's not going to change any of that. That will stay the same. It's the same thing with. relationships as well, like going on breaks. Very rarely, in my personal anecdote of an experience, have I seen a break actually result in a couple being like,

you know what, no, we should be together. No. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch. The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx in touch. and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move.

They use their space and they figure out we definitely should not. And that's okay. Because maybe you're in a position where you're thinking like, man, I don't know if I really want to be with this person. We should take some space between us. And that's a healthy thing. And I think that takes a lot of maturity because it shows. like, hey, I don't know what the problem is. Let's communicate about it.

Let's just like see if some alone time will figure out what the problem is and we can regroup and address these problems. But some people take the break because they think it'll buy them time for the breakup. It'll be like, okay, I can like, oh, like, just do it. If you already have made up your mind and you're like, yeah, it's not it's not it.

Then do it. End it. It's fine. I want to say I don't understand why people drag things out, but I understand because I do it. I do it. A list is in my phone of people I need to call that have texted me, that have said, hey, what's up? How you been? How's Austin?

How's Texas? And I'm tunnel visioned. They're not on the priority list right now of things I need to get done. And I feel guilt about it. I do. Because is it right? I don't know. It's debatable.

I'd say if they're a real friend, they understand. I'll call them when I need to call them and when we can catch up. We're back to square one, right? We're back to understanding things. But I've dragged out relationships before because I didn't have the guts. I didn't have the belief in my decision, which I knew was the right one. I knew that it's not going to work. But I just, I wanted to hold on still to.

the idea of this relationship working out. And sometimes you don't want to seem like a failure. Sometimes you just don't want to have that conversation with your friends that's like, yeah, we didn't work out. And them saying, yeah, told you. I told you so. This was not going to work out from the start. It's walking back to those people with your tail between your legs.

And it's humbling. but that's a part of it. You know, using your space really lets you think. It really lets you understand if people are good for you. And I've distanced myself from people and we never spoke again. And I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm doing great.

And chances are that decision to distance yourself, they might not even notice loving people from a distance is something that is so underrated I still support my friends but there are certain friends I can't hang out with all the time I just cannot

we are not the same kind of human being they need someone who's going to give them a lot of attention I can't do that and they understand it they get it because the truth is they're probably that to somebody else too.

There's probably somebody in their life that I can be your friend, I can show emotional support. I just can't be there all the time. Physically, mentally, I just can't. We can be really good homies. We can see each other a couple times a year. That's great. But I have to love you from a distance. I just have to.

I have to do my own thing. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with using your space. spending time with yourself and setting boundaries. There's nothing wrong with that. It's the same thing in a relationship. I used to think that in dating, you needed to be by somebody all the time.

You needed to be with them 24-7. No, you do not. That is not the healthiest thing. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post.

Taste. View. And enjoy. via rail love the way my parents have been married a good amount of time they spend time alone they come together it's great when they do they like to spend their alone time they function really well in their alone time doing their own thing codependency is real and sometimes that codependency comes from not setting boundaries and not knowing how to say no it's difficult who wants to go to their partner who's like,

yo, let's hang out. And you already know like, dang, that's going to be super fun. We can, you know, be intimate together. We can share a memory together. And you have to say, you know what? I need to do my own thing right now. I hope you understand that. And they're like, so you don't want to spend time with me?

Like, nobody wants to do that. But if you have an understanding healthy relationship, they will be like, I get it. Dude, spend your time alone. Do your own thing. a problem let's hang out another day but it's uncomfortable it's a it's an uncomfortable conversation to have it's an uncomfortable thought to wrestle with but the truth is the uncomfortable thought is usually the thought that will

provide the best action the uncomfortable question is the one that will provide and give you the best answer but it is the hardest one it is because it's you know Something in your bone is telling you, like, this is, I need to address this, and it's weird that I need to address this, but I need to. But I have to. And you have to. Because if you don't, then you're going to continue building on falsehoods. You're going to continue to think, well, I mean, yeah, they haven't invited me to the past two parties, but they still like me.

No, they don't. If you need me to validate those intrusive thoughts, their actions are... What speak? Yeah, maybe they didn't know that I was in town. Maybe that they knew. They knew. They didn't want you there. And there's nothing wrong with that.

You know why? Because you are going to use your space. You're going to do your own thing. And you'll be happier. Doing so, Zerky Show. You will. I hope you are having a. great day and I hope you know I love you so much. Quick reminder, the Zirky Show is not just on this

platform. We got a whole bunch of other ones but the main thing I want to talk about is that we're going to be a little bit more active on the gram. I have a few ideas. If you want to tap in, tap in. Yeah. Just letting you know that you can listen to the Zirky Show, you can watch the Zirky Show and you can scroll the Zirky Show however you like. Thank you for tapping in. Also, is somebody close to you a fan of the Zirky Show? Maybe they want a special birthday message. Maybe you need some advice on something.

Well, guess what? The Zirky Show is now on cameo taking requests. Do with that what you will. But just know, I'm here every day for you, and that will not change. Whatever you do, make sure you see. stay grounded, you stay doing the things you love because this life is short. So let's use it the way we want to. Zerky Show, sending you plenty of good energy, love, and peace.