the zurkie show - maybe we're meant to fall off

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

kind of spur of the moment episode, but real emotions nonetheless.hope you guys been good.why tf is gta 6 $1,000 man.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Sometimes I really wonder and worry that I fell off, that I did not use my time correctly, and instead, when I had an opportunity to do something very special and very unique, I was a coward and didn't work hard enough. And right now, as the rain is pedaling my car and there's a traffic jam on the beach so I can't leave it and I have to stay, it's really hitting me very hard that I'm going to speak a little French. I might have fucked up. What? No, bro, but I sometimes worry that I haven't been doing enough in my life and that I am weirdly

complacent in the moment and I don't take time to like take a step back and be like, what am I doing? What am I doing? What really made me, I guess, fall into this loop is I've been going back to trying to build good habits in my life. I was close. Damn. And it's not as easy, I think, as I had imagined. It's really difficult sometimes to build, like, good routine with sleep.

I don't understand why it's so hard for me to do that. And this has been something, I guess, I've been battling for a long time. But I know why it's so difficult. It's because I don't want to do it. That's really what it comes down to. Any kind of self-loathing that I have, It comes from the fact that in my identity, deep down in my psyche, I believe that I'm not good enough to do something. I'm not good enough to do this thing.

And so obviously I'm not going to do it. And it's this weird cat and mouse game I've been playing with myself. It's like, oh, yeah, I just got to lock in. I just got to get better on what I'm doing. I just got to be more focused. And, you know, it's all bullshit. Really, the honest truth is I don't want it enough. And in the times where, you know, in the past, I wasn't working hard enough.

I didn't want it enough. That's really the truth. And I think a lot of us, we don't want it enough, whatever it is. If it's a change in our own life or a change in the world, we don't want enough. And it sucks because I think that it builds a level of complacency that is unmistakably terrible. because then you go through your life and you time and time again are realizing it's almost like there's little

blues clues all over your life of where you dropped the ball repeatedly and it really really sucks and I don't want you to be in that position man I don't want you to be in that position man promise me when you have something that's worth cherishing like a good routine like a good sleep schedule like a good woman

a good man, a good partner. You cherish that shit. You do. Because so many of us squander like the fruits of life. We let it just rot. And we're like, why isn't the fruit able to withstand more? It's because you ate it. You didn't eat it within time.

So no, duh, it's going to rot. And the beautiful thing is, like, I say all this, I know I haven't fallen off. I know that my life is a revolving door. Things go in, things come out, you know. And this is just a perspective that's very hard on my psyche and maybe there's a part of this hyper

like, you're the bad guy, you messed everything up, like, you know, fuck you. Sorry to be vulgar. That's really what, what, this mind is a war field. Warfield, war zone. All right. It's a war zone in here. Also, why are we pre-ordering games that don't have a physical copy?

Sidetrack, I know. What is with that? What is with that? Why are we pre-ordering games that do not have a physical copy to them? Sorry, I'm really excited for this GTA. And it's going to cost $1,000 to play. I hope you realize that. It's going to be $1,000 to play this game.

I do think that there is a certain point where me being reflective, actually, is more harmful than it is. is good though. This is something I've been eyeing more and more recently where I've been like, I don't, I don't really need to be so hard on myself about this or being like, why do I, why do I feel like I'm entitled to this? Why do I want to have a good life? Like, I just want a good life and it's really that. It's really that. It's nothing. There's nothing deeper. Why do you feel like you have this calling to do different things in your life? I just do. I don't, I don't know. You can, you can say, I don't know.

This is like a life hack that I learned in my life pretty recently. Like as of like three years ago, every time people would ask me a question, I'd have to have some kind of answer. This would happen all the time with my family asking questions about like, what do I want to do? What is my future going to look like? Where am I going to go to school?

College. How do you want to do this? How do you want to do that in life? What are your goals? What are your aspirations? And I'm 16. Like I don't even know, dude. At 16, I was like,

At 16, I had a huge ego, and I thought I was going to be like the next Jake Paul. That was actually my problem because it was rooted in nothing. I was lazy. I was just like every other kid playing soccer, going home, and playing video games. That was my life. There was nothing different. Like, the only thing I did that was like semi-cool, I think, at 16. I did some cool stuff.

I was very into, like, streetware. sneakers, product, buying, reselling stuff, money, basically. And yeah, and I had like an inclination. I'm like, I like doing and creating stuff. So I want to do something along those lines. But like, you really need to ask questions about your life and answer. You do, but like, bro, if you're that young, you know what you need to do? You need to enjoy being a teen.

and like hang out with your friends and okay you don't need to go and be sipping and drinking underage because you can wait all right you don't have to be racing towards anything it's really not that cool I'm letting you know it's really

not that cool it's cool for a month and then after a month you're down $300 from your college town bars and you're like this is really this is all that it's cracked up to be so you have a lot to learn you don't really need to get started early in my opinion. I think that, you know, you can chill out. But like, it's, there's so much packed into,

what are you going to do? Where are you going to live? Like, dude, at 16, I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I was doing. I had a big head on a torso that was like scrawny because I was running all the time. And that was my life. Oh, auto shut down. Okay, you can shut down my engine. Sure. That sounds great. Like, that was, that was my life. There was nothing, nothing to at home about and I would always get these questions from like family what are you going to do how are you whatever and I would always I just started at a certain point saying I don't know because I don't know I have certain goals and certain places I want to go to and certain things I want to see and you know it'd be cool to do a live show and do some kind of performance and it'd be cool to and this is all now

as like a, you know, adult. This isn't at the time, because at the time I had, I had no clue. What the? Okay, anyway, I got, we have another light here. That's great. But at the time, like, I was so young, I didn't know. And even throughout college, I had no idea.

And there was all these people that lie to themselves and say, yeah, I think I want to, I want to be like, you know, an advertising specialist for the rest of my life. Like, shut up. No, you don't. No, you don't. You don't want that. Come on.

Let's be real. Yeah, I want to, I really like consulting. I want to be consultant forever. Shut up. No, you don't. Shut up. But it is also dangerous to just walk through life like you're blind and like, you know, waving a stick around.

I don't think that's a good idea either because you can become so susceptible to just like group think and following the crowd. Yo, dude, we're all moving to Chicago. I'm going to become, you know, a consultant, a business, acquisitions expert on taxes, whatever that means. You should move down with me, bro. Dang, I don't know. Yeah, you know, I'm going to move down there,

even though I want to do something else, really, inside my heart. I'm going to move down there because all my friends there and I could party and go out to the bars and go to McGee's and, you know, go on North Loop, Gold Shore. Whatever. That's a bunch of buzzwords, but, uh, yeah, uh, no, if you don't want to do that, don't do that. I guess it's like, it's really that simple.

But where it is difficult is then when you don't follow your friends and you don't follow like your parents' wishes of what they want you to do, your life actually becomes your own. And then you have this thing where like it's almost as if you are given like a puppy. And you're like, oh my God, I saw the puppy in the pictures and it sounded so good. And it looked so cute. And now you have to like learn to like potty train it. And it bites through all of your. sofas and it poops in the house. That's you when you finally figure out like, oh, I got to like live my own life for me.

It's really difficult. It's not easy because then you're you're doubting yourself. Then you're like wondering what life is even about because you're trying stuff and it fails. A lot of it fails. But then if you're consistent and you are like, I'm here for the journey. I don't care if I'm going to fail. Like everyone's going to fail in life, peer. life gets pretty damn good.

It really, really does. It gets really, really good because you learn to enjoy the journey. You learn to enjoy the people that you're around. You learn to surround yourself with good things that actually build you up and not just, like, poison your mental health all the time. And you don't sit there and listen to, you know, your one friend that is never going to change, talk about, I can't believe he did that to me. I told him I wanted a long-term relationship.

And he was like, oh, yeah, it's complicated. because I'm still talking to my ex and then he cheated on. Like, bro, of course, of course. You can predict these things. And it becomes less of this choker, choker on your life. And more of this, it becomes this like flow, this really, really nice flow. You reach flow state, my dude. Whatever.

My dude is so dead anyways. Anyways, I don't even know what I was talking about. But, yeah, take a... action in your life, I guess, is the main thing. If you want an answer, if you're ever at a crossroads of like, I don't know what to do in my life, it's probably because you haven't taken action. That's for me. Like, it's usually that. All of my overthinking and insecurity just like goes out the window when I finally tell myself, okay, I'm going to sit down and write. Okay, I'm going to sit down and focus on something for an hour. I'm going to go read that book that I've been telling

myself or my girlfriend that I'm going to read when I, you know, took the book from her and then I haven't read it, you know, for half a year. Like, do, you have to actually go in and do the action. And you know what else helps? Bro, eat. Eat in silence. Don't watch anything while you eat, which might be funny because you might be listening or watching this while you eat. I would really urge you to stop doing that. You're going to realize how many wild thoughts you have in your brain that kind of gets sifted through this little sifter. and how many of them you actually need to tend to. We really, really love to distract ourselves. It's like our best friend in today's world

because for some reason, the idea of questioning your actions and your decisions and your thoughts is like a bad thing. When in reality, you should be. That's a part of the human experience is you just need to be questioning yourself like all the time.

That's completely normal. The one thing that you should have for certain is an understanding that your life, is not linear. It will go through ups, downs, troths, mountains, what have you. And that is, that's a good thing. That's a good thing. If you have the same perspective towards the good times, you enjoy the good times and you also enjoy the lessons and the bad times, life will be good. You'll trend upward. But if you don't and you let yourself crumble because you hold some kind of grudge against yourself or you like secretly hate yourself, then life is

going to suck. Like all of life is going to suck. Even when you have good times, you won't be able to accept compliments and you'll hate yourself even more because you'll be like, everyone is like, you know, fake. Like they're all fake complimenting me. I can't believe this. And it's like, sorry, those people are insufferable to be around. And GTA6 is $1,000, which is awesome. That's today's world. I'm happy. Love that for you, girly, obviously. You know, I feel better. I was kind of feeling really frustrated today. And I've been like, I woke up late again, like probably the third day in a row. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to wake up at at 8 p.m. 8 p.m. Yeah, I wish. I was going to wake up at 8 a.m. And you know, there's this life hack. You can tell Siri to turn off your alarms. So when you wake up,

I have conditioned myself to tell Siri to turn off the alarm. And then I just don't have to wake up because then I wake up naturally. Very, very bad thing. I have to stop doing that because I should wake up and go and make breakfast. But... I'm steaming up this car right now with my thoughts. Probably should start this, John. All right. Hope you guys are doing well, man.

I love you guys so much. Zerky show. You guys are so gangster in every sense. Okay, you're like Al Capone meets, I don't know, Pablo Escobar. So, just know, like, if you're going through life right now and you're uncertain, bro, that's welcome to life. That's life 101. Life is very, very uncertain. And, you know, although the world is uncertain in a lot of things, one thing that you can control is how you treat other people and how you treat yourself.

I try to focus on that. Because if you can treat other people with respect, I do really, very, you can treat other people with respect. I do really believe that it comes back to you. And if you can respect yourself and you can be, you know, and that means being honest, that means sometimes being rude to, you know, in the perspective of other people, because you are honest, you're going to find that you will have so much more peace and you won't have to be fighting with yourself all the time.

And honestly, in a world like today's, it's worth a lot. It's worth a lot. So that's what I would tell you. And yeah, and you're tapped into the Zerkees Show. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. I hope you guys enjoyed this little sit around in my car. As always, Xerky Show. I love you, and I'm sending you lots of love.

And peace!