the zurkie show - no one prepares you for losing someone

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

you will miss them. you will feel like they are still there when they are not. it is a process we all learn to go though. it is the price we pay for loving someone. follow the zurkie show! https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Nobody prepares you for the feeling of losing somebody. Nobody prepares you for the weirdness that is that person was once here and now they are not and how you deal with that. And I still don't really know how to deal with it. It's just something that you deal with. Zerky Show, how we doing? I just want to make a quick announcement. This video that you're about to watch is not happy. it is a very hard topic to talk about sometimes.

It is about grief and there are some tears shed. If that's something that you don't really want to watch, I don't blame you. I have plenty of other videos that are more happy, happy, happy. This one I needed to make. I felt compelled to make it. And if you are going through something, maybe this is the video for you.

But either way, I love you. I hope you're doing good. and just wanted to give a fair warning. Okay. Peace. My grandfather passed away from cancer when I was in college. It was my first year being at University of Georgia. I remember I was in my apartment.

I woke up and in the family group chat was a notification that I knew was coming. I knew that he was not in a good state. But I just was hoping that I could, I don't even know. I was just hoping that maybe something could happen. But it was reading that notification, that message that said he had passed away in his sleep that really, really hit home. And I couldn't process it then. I had no idea how to process it. And it wasn't until I visited his grave last year for the first time that I just like let go of a lot.

I remember my grandfather he he went to his grave with his mom and his dad where he is buried now and he took me and like introduced me to them he talked to them and it was like I was like what is you doing? Why is you doing this? You know but he was doing it like a sign of respect

and he was telling his parents about me like hey like this is my grandson and I'm very proud of him. And this is going to be hard for me to talk about. But I just, I don't know. I want people to know about this. So, okay, let's do this. So he did that. And then when I visited his grave, I did the same thing.

I had told him about what was going on in my life and that I was good. and then I was and then I missed him that I really missed him because the last couple of months were really really difficult because dang man because he was not himself he was very sick and it was hard to see that it's it's it's weird and I want what I want to tell somebody who is maybe in the beginning of grief and it's not just losing a family member maybe it's losing somebody in a relationship that meant a lot to you, is that grief is weird. Grief is weird.

It's weird because you do not forget that person. My grandfather is forever burned into my memory in the best way. And the memories that I have with them, I really cherish them. I really care about them. And I try to, I try to cope with this grief. by living through like my grandfather, like doing, doing things that I know would symbolize him. He always peeled potatoes when he would make mashed potatoes for dinner. And I always peel my potatoes, man.

I always think of him that way. And he was always so kind and courteous and happy to see me. And he had this uplifting spirit. He really, he really messed with me. He liked me, you know? So I really try to share that same love to a lot of other people in my life. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy.

Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via rail. Love the way. And grief is weird.

It's weird. The moment after something like losing, a partner figuring out that you're not going to be together realizing that no longer the memories that you have are like that's not going to carry on that that's that's cut it is something that is so jarring and you will feel you will you will you will feel emotions about it but i didn't feel emotional about my grandfather passing really away until i did something that reminded me of him and I realized that that's no longer him as in like physically that is no longer him and that I felt kind of a responsibility to carry it on and don't get me wrong like these are tears of

of of you know of of of of cope I guess and and there aren't sometimes there aren't words for what you can feel. Like, you know, this is something that happened in my life. There are people out there that suffer through tragedies and terrible things. But every form of grief, no matter how big or how small, like, it will impact you. It will. And we will experience this emotion in our lives. It's just a matter of when, not if.

It's a matter of when, right? And there's a part of me that I don't know if we ever fully understand, like, what the, the process. of grief is because it's very different for each person individually. Some people like something like that happens and they just like lock down and they don't talk to anybody and they're very internalized with their grief. For me it's more of a mixture. Like I process things I think alone, but also I process things like I think I process them by being with others and talking through it. And nobody is perfect. Like there are parts of grief that really make you upset I was upset at myself for a while because I had I promised my grandpa, I remember when I visited him

that I wanted to show him like a bunch of photos from like just college in my wife. And he, we just, we never got to have that moment. And part of that is my fault selfishly. But grief is weird. It's weird. And part of it is like, it's, I need. know that the grief I have at that time was like selfish it was like I wish I I I you could exist here for me for me for for your grandson bro pull up but sometimes we have to let people go because

they're suffering that's the worst man you don't want to see somebody else suffer you don't want to see like what somebody else is is going through but it's a part of it it's it's it's It's a definite part of it. And the main thing that helps with grief, bro, is time. It's time. It really is a default answer, but time heals everything. Oftentimes, it does. It does.

And there's, like, certain, man, like being in a... The grief of a relationship is hard because that person exists, but that version of them in your head no longer does it's done that that's that's over with so you have to you have to accept that that is no longer the case and that the memories you made were at a certain

period of time and you have to move on knowing that other person is out there and it's in the back of your mind and grief is weird it will hit you you know sometimes I get reminiscent and remember certain things smells, actions, and other people will remind me of certain relationships that are no longer. And it's painful.

It's beautiful, though. Grief is such a beautiful emotion because it is your soul going and immortalizing somebody and being like, this is the, this was the period of your life with this person. And these memories you're going to hold on to it, even if they're not there, physical. or they're not there emotionally for you anymore. And you never forget those emotions. Like, all of that still feels very real. And in the future, the other people that you will eventually lose,

they will also feel very real. And that's why, like, you got to, you really got to cherish time, bro. You know, I can't stress that enough. Like if there's one thing that you learn from the Zerky show, it's you got to cherish your time with people because you have no clue. Bro, it came out of nowhere, nowhere. And within months, it was over.

From nowhere to over months of time. Yeah. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-O-Joe, the online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games. What you win is yours to keep with no wagering requirements,

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Save the everyday with Amazon. Grief is weird. It's very weird. And I want you to know if you're grieving right now that. it does it does get better you will have to approach it head on that is the best advice that i got is take your time and approach it head on and if you do that you you will naturally have to go through the emotions of grief you will there's no cheat code to getting past it you can delay the grief but the grief will never delay you it won't if you keep pushing

it away, it will just become bigger and bigger and bigger. And it'll hit. It'll hit at once, and you're like, ah. And I think, uh, I think maybe I was, I was delaying my grief a little bit. Maybe I was, uh, thinking I could outrun it because I was at a new school and, and I, I, I didn't have time to think about it. But it will, it will catch up to you. It did for me. And, and that's okay, too.

Like, sometimes, you know, we all grieve. different. And Kendrick said that in his album famously. He's like, I grieve different, right? I hope. I might be butchering that. But you will, everyone grieves differently. Like, like, some people, they really take their time. It really takes a good amount of time. And for others, it's like a couple months. And then it's like, all right, on to the next. Who's got next? Like, it's 2K. Like, it's an NBA 2K blacktop. You know, it's a weird emotion. It's a, it's a, it's a dealing with something that you cannot wrap your head around that it existed and now it doesn't so like yeah it's just weird but it doesn't last forever and I would say that you know

I think I got emotional earlier because I have a lot of I have a lot of love for my grandfather and he was like he was he really he rooted for me man he really did and he like always told me that and i appreciate that so much i appreciate that so much and uh sometimes i i wish i could have done it more justice is all so i know he's proud of me i know he's smiling you know i i i'm very i'm very happy for the memories that i have with him i'm very proud of of those memories. I'm very thankful for them. And, uh, I'm very appreciative, man. I'm just appreciative. I'm appreciative of the people I have around. And, uh, I'm appreciative of you guys. I really am. I did not expect this. Wow. I'm sorry. This is that, yeah, uh, this is rough. But it's real. It's real.

We can't, you know, there's a lot of like, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to, feel this one day and maybe you're you're not feeling that right now and that's that's fine that's great but just know like when it comes you have to endure it you have to go through it it's a human emotion it is something we will all deal with at one point on a multitude of scales for some of us that is when the family dog passes for others it's dude we have tragedies that we can't even speak about in our pasts, right? But the one universal thing is we all grieve, and grief is weird. It is a weird thing, Zerky Show. So reach out if you're grieving. Don't feel like you need to be insular. No, you can reach out to people. Sometimes it's great to talk with people about things. I had a lot of

comfort talking to my family about what I was going through and how I felt. And I think it really it bonded me with a lot of my family members, like, very strongly. So it's a good thing, but also don't feel like you need to do that. You can take your time, you can be alone and process these feelings. It's just, it is going to be rough. It won't be easy, but you will go through it and you will understand. And you'll be good. You'll be okay.

Zirky Show, I love you so much. I hope you know that. I hope you know that I am proud of the community we have on here. I would hold up my little Zerky Show paper, but I feel like this is pretty somber, especially with what some people are going through right now and this topic especially. So if you want to listen to the Zirky Show or watch the Zirky Show,

it's the Zirky Show everywhere. Do with that what you will, but we are here every single day. And other than that, spend time with your loved ones, make sure that time is good and you enjoy it all of us are in different situations sometimes we can't spend time with our family there are certain things that don't allow us to do that find people and enjoy time with people that matter to you simple as that and if that's yourself

you are also a person you are also valid spend time with yourself this life is beautiful we have to go through the dark periods in order to enjoy the light. But just know that it shall pass too. And if you're grieving, I feel for you and know that time will heal, Zerki Show. Wishing you a lot of love and peace.