the zurkie show - revenge won't fix you

Episode Date: January 12, 2025

the fuel that burns the best... might also burn the fastest. find a purpose that feels sustainable. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Did it make you feel bad? Why? Why did it make you feel bad? Is it because there's an ounce of truth to it that you don't want to admit? But there is. They say if you don't have any haters, you're not doing it right. And I agree. Anybody who has been great at anything, they had haters.

They had people who said, nah, you're not going to do that. And even people who just try to survive day to day, we have haters. We have people who are silently rooting for us to be mid. Ha. And sometimes it really hurts. It hurts when you have someone who's close to you, say, you know what, I don't think this is going to work out for you. Honestly, I'm kind of rooting against it working out for you. So you can be the person that I want you to be in my mind.

Because I'm not satisfied with who I am. And if you go up, then that shows that I'm mid myself. And that creates this perfect storm. of wanting to prove someone wrong, wanting to prove that no, it's not true. You want revenge. But do you need revenge? Like, is this like a human need?

Do we absolutely need this thing? Or is it just some kind of concept that's been created by the universe, by us, society? Well, I needed revenge when I was in 9th, ninth grade, my freshman year of high school, I had just broken up with a girl that I really, really liked. And yeah, say what you want. It was a middle school relationship, but I really liked her. And one of my friends one day told me at the lunch table that this girl that I had, you know,

separated with on mutual terms, which it's never mutual. But, you know, you, it's all right, we're not going to date. He said, you know, I was joking to your ex-girlfriend about YouTube. getting back together. And I was like, oh, you know, okay, that's kind of weird, but what did she say? He said, you know, she laughed. She thought it was really funny. And she said she would never get back with you because you were fat and ugly. And I was flabbergasted because was I fat?

You know, I let myself go. Let's just say that. I had an injury. I let myself go. We all do that. But was I ugly? I didn't think so, but at that moment, I believed it. I believed it.

I was like, well, I mean, damn. I literally, I didn't know really what to think. But obviously somebody who I cared about thinks I'm ugly. I mean, that can't be not true. It's got to have some kind of degree of truth. And after I had that conversation, something clicked in my mind, fat and ugly. I never want to be called that again. I never want to be called that again.

So I did everything to get revenge. And my revenge looked a little bit different. It looked like getting in shape. It looked like running extra miles. I didn't even know I could run. Eating really good and clean to a point where it was kind of borderline ridiculous. And I was putting my body. through a lot of stress as a 15-year-old.

In the end, I ended up getting my revenge. And I remember what that revenge looked like. It looked like my ex-girlfriend admitting that I had a glow-up because I put my head down. I put in that work. But it wasn't until I, like, grabbed coffee with her. And she went down and told me, like, what she was going through at that period of time. Turns out she wasn't here all the way psychologically,

and she actually had issues that she was getting professionally helped, and she apologized. And at that moment, my, well, revenge, I couldn't help but feel like it was all for nothing. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep, flip, or that, and enjoy.

Via Rail, love the way. And it's not true because those feelings that I felt initially kickstarted my ability to go and like take care of myself. But it became obsessive. It didn't become healthy. It was I wanted the revenge so bad. I needed the revenge so bad. that I was willing to destroy my body for it and I was willing to callous my mind because I wanted to prove a point. And listen, it's hard because revenge is the best fuel ever.

It is unlimited fuel when you want to prove someone wrong. You will do everything to make sure it happens. But that fuel, it runs out. because there comes a certain point where unequivocally you've proven that you've gotten your revenge, that you did it. And that's if you're lucky. Because some people,

they're not even going to give you the satisfaction of that revenge. And in the end, it's going to come from you realizing that you making the change was more important than you getting the revenge. So I'm not somebody to sit here and tell you, Well, you shouldn't feel like you need revenge ever. Because listen, sometimes you're going to have haters in your life.

You're going to have people who really want you to do bad. And screw those people. Those people are a walking L. But I think that the more you focus on getting revenge for those people, the less time you actually have to implement the changes that are going to benefit you. Because at the end of the day, me getting in shape was a benefit for me. It was the first time I had evidence to back up the fact that, no, I'm not fat. No, I'm not ugly.

Whether the revenge was the motivation, I mean, yes, it was. But in the end, it's me who lives in this body. It's me who lives with my decisions. It's me. I'm him in this context. I am just the person who's going to benefit from that action, not. the person I'm trying to get revenge after. So I think that we do need a form of adversity.

We do need something to kickstart a fire under our Bunda, because sometimes we don't have it. Sometimes we're living in this la-la land of like everything's okay until somebody hurts your feelings and it makes you reflect and think, well, hmm, is this true? because if my ex-girlfriend had told me in that period of time that, well, he's fat and ugly, and I didn't believe that, at least a little bit, I would have been like, okay, she's cap. It's like it doesn't, it's not real, so it doesn't matter.

But because it did irk me the wrong way, it did make me think, well, am I? And I had to admit to myself, I'm not happy with how I look. I'm not happy with my actions. and that prompted a change. And yes, I could look at that and be like, well, the revenge was so sweet, but it wasn't the revenge that was sweet. It was the changes I made in my life that were sweet.

That were awesome. It was my newfound love for running. It was my newfound love for working out. It was my newfound love for cooking. That was all a byproduct of that, initial, and I think it all comes down to our intention. Why are we doing the thing that we're doing? Why do we feel compelled to prove other people that we can do this thing?

Shouldn't it be enough to prove ourselves that we can do it? But hey, maybe we need that. Maybe we need a sense of, I'm going to prove all the haters wrong. You hear it all the time in music, right? Like, people will be like, my teachers thought I wasn't going to be anything. And now I'm the hottest artist in the world. Sometimes you need a little chip on your shoulder to be like, no, I can do it.

And maybe that keeps you going. But in the end, when you inevitably do succeed and when you do put in those reps and you don't give up, you're going to find that you're going to need a new fuel. You're going to burn all the diesel. And now you might need a supercharger. because you need some clean energy. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time.

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Simply press, brew, and explore. Nispresso, what else? Keep exploring at nespresso.com. I don't know. And that's hard to find because that requires purpose. It doesn't require revenge anymore. It just requires a clear purpose of why do you do it? I want to become rich and successful.

Why? Because I want to prove the haters wrong. I want to prove everybody who told me I was going to be anything. That I can do it. Or are you just insecure that If you don't become rich and successful, like you won't be worthy. You won't be a worthy human being, which I don't know is not true. It's not true.

There are plenty of rich and successful people who are not good people. There are plenty unsuccessful people who are, well, quote unquote, unsuccessful people who are the best human beings that are a cornerstone of our civilization. So then it comes down to what is the purpose? What do you want to do? Because after you get your revenge, And you flex in your Lamborghini eventador at your old high school where your teachers told you you wouldn't be anything. What then?

What then? When your ex that you want to glow up on says, oh yeah, he had a glow up. What then? You're putting all of that work in for 20 seconds of gratification. And that's it. What then? After I got my revenge, I kind of had to find a different purpose. and it became, I want to be the best football and soccer player I can be.

And it was a good segue. I became a lot better. I became really good. And I was like, okay, this is a good purpose. But then after football was done, and I was like, I'm not playing soccer, it became really hard to take care of my body. I let myself go again. I would argue that I let myself go even worse than I was before.

And then what did I, why did I want to do it? I don't have anyone to get in shape four. There's no revenge that I have in mind. There's no revenge that I have in mind. Now it's a battle versus me. And the battle versus yourself is so hard. Because you don't have an external scapego. You don't have somebody who you can turn to and be like,

well, this person said this about me and I want to prove them wrong. No, it's just do you want it? And if I'm honest, I want it, but not bad enough. Not bad enough. And now I want it a little bit better. I want it a little bit more each day because I put in a little bit of work each day. But when I had somebody to point at and be like, that's who I'm doing it against or that's why I want revenge, it makes it a lot easier. But soon that will run out.

out, the fuel will be gone. So you have to think are the actions that you're doing, is that for yourself? Is that because that's a genuine desire? Or is it because you feel like you need revenge? Because this can be a good motivator. It can be a good kickstart. But after the Kickstarter is over and the campaign is done, what's funding your dream? What's funding your self-care? What is funding your hunger to become better? It's a difficult question. So do you need revenge? No, you probably don't need revenge. But what you need to do is if you feel like you want to get revenge on somebody, ask yourself is what they did or what they said, a reflection of you. did it make you feel bad?

Why? Why did it make you feel bad? Is it because there's an ounce of truth to it that you don't want to admit? But there is. Because that's how you start to make changes that matter. That's how you start to open up the conversation for honesty within your own life. But the truth is, if the words or the actions they weren't true.

There wasn't an ounce of truth to it. It wouldn't hurt as much as it does. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids,

tea and milk. Habaniero, more like habanier yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. And some things are hurtful. Some people will just say stuff to say stuff because they want to get under your skin because they want you to feel bad. And you will. I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh, well, I don't care what anyone says. Everyone cares what people say. Come on. Let's be real. But if there's not a lot of truth behind it and you know yourself and you know your worth and your value and what you're doing and the reason why you're doing it and who you are, it doesn't bother nearly as much as they think it should. Because you know yourself.

You know who you are. And you don't give it power because it's not real. It's not the truth. You know the truth. You are, you're the worst. You want me to fail. No? No, dude.

I just want to go on a walk. Whatever you do, I mean, I don't care, you know. You do you. Love that for you, girly. So think about it. There's a lot of people that will chirp at you and tell you, do it because you're going to prove them wrong and you're going to be able to flex.

And flexing is cool for like five minutes to somebody. But you know it's cooler? Flexing to your seat. that you did it because you wanted to. That is something that not a lot of people can do. And if you master that, ha, ha, ha, yes, bread. You're going to be so happy.

You will. You will have genuine fulfillment because it will be the hardest thing you do and there's nobody to blame. I don't know, maybe you want revenge on your old self because your old self didn't care about you, was throwing you under the bus,

and you want to be like, no, it stops here. We're going to make a change. But just remember, revenge only kickstarts the change in your life. Your purpose is what sustains it. Do you need it? I don't know. Something you got to ask. But in the end, do it for you.

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Do the things that bring you joy in this life, because a lot of us neglect happiness the most. And other than that, stay safe, stay grounded, go explore somewhere new Zerky Show, sending you love and peace.