the zurkie show - stop dating just anyone

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

take yourself seriously, but having ridiculous standards that are a mirror of what society deems attractive won't get you love.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

I used to date anyone that liked me. That was the bar. There was no type for me. There was no ideal girlfriend. No, if you liked me, that was enough because I didn't like myself. Now I realize there's a reason people talk about standards. There's a reason people talk about characteristics and things that are important in dating. Because you need standards.

You need a lot of standards. Now, there is a slippery slope. that people get on. When it comes to talking about standards and characteristics, right? We hear the whole trope of like, I want a guy who's six foot. Not knocking that if you like height, I get it, all right? As a six three male myself, I'm five, ten.

On a good day. I get it, right? There are certain things that you look for. There are certain attributes that maybe call out to you. But I don't think that those are necessarily standards. I think that those are attributes that society deems worthy and so you think that you deserve them even though Loki you've done nothing to deserve them?

Whoa! Crazy statement, Zerki! What are you talking about? I've been the person that was like I want somebody who's slim thick. I've been the person that's like, yeah, I want a gym girl, I want her to be in shape, you know what I'm saying? But I sit on the couch. I don't work out. I don't do the things to take care of myself. And it's hypocritical. And part of me used to think that that was a standard.

I'll just have high standards. No. No. Because your standards are fixated on things that are superficial. If you want to, you know, have a partner that has good hygiene and is active, there's a good chance they're not going to look like an influencer model. It's just like there is a lot of. I'm just being completely real.

And if you want somebody who is caring and they will put your needs on the same pedestal as their own, it doesn't mean that they work in finance. A lot of these standards that people talk about, men, women, everybody, they are based in the delusion of this. And it's not your fault. we kind of have grown up with these, especially Gen Z. I think it's normal. Like, we've kind of put lenses on our relationships,

and we've looked through them of the perspective of, like, what would other people think of our relationship, instead of, like, what are the needs that are important to me? I know I had a big problem with the optics of a relationship for the longest time. In my past, I didn't date people because I think it would look bad. Even though I liked them, I didn't date. them because I thought it would look bad. How crazy is that? And that is not having a standard. That's just like being insecure. And there's a difference. Having a standard is knowing that you want to

be respected, that you want somebody to treat you well in a relationship. And listen, everyone can have their own pick and choose. Like there are things that I wish for in a partner. Of course, But if my standards are not being met, if the baseline of why I want to be with somebody, which is unconditional love and support and respect. In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour. Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields like software development and information technology. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. Are not being met. All of those extra attributes are worthless.

If you don't believe me, that's fine. I urge you to get into a relationship with somebody that fits all of those character traits that you're looking for, right? Like you have this ideal version, oh man, I got this type. She's brunette and she's slim thick, whatever. Get with somebody like that. What you will quickly realize, you have nothing to talk. about. You have no common interests. After all of the lust is gone, there is no love to hold you

together. There is nothing that keeps you intertwine with somebody. And I have found that following the feeling of loving somebody and following the feeling intuitively of like, this person looks out for me, this person is good to me, I want to be with this person. You learn and grow with that love. but again this idea of needing standards it also has a lot to do with yourself if you do not have standards on yourself of what you expect out of yourself and you do not hold true to those standards what authority do you have to impose that on other people none if you cannot be the person that is at the standard of what you require somebody else to be at, I don't think you're in a place to demand it. You can wish,

but that's wishful thinking. It's not the same as being like, I am this person that has this values. I am going to do these things. And I want a partner that mimics those values or has this, has similar values, right? Instead, we, we put barriers on ourselves. We put all of these attributes on the potential partner that we want to have that oftentimes don't even matter. They don't matter. I get it. Like height and weight and all these things. Yeah, like, it's all eye candy.

But if the book sucks, it doesn't matter how beautiful the cover is. It doesn't matter. You're going to stop reading it because it sucks. Your standard should not be necessarily physical. I think it's good to look for good habits. I think it's good to look for good patterns. Does this person check in on you when like you're having a bad day? Does this person uplift you?

Does this person want the best for you? Or do they want what they want for themselves? And they oppose that on you. Do they respect you? Those are standards. Not this idea that, oh, they need to dress this way. It's good. it's a plus if they dress nice you know i'm saying hey if if they do not present themselves well

that's a completely different situation but a lot of people don't even know that they dress bad or they don't dress to your liking because what if they like what they dress in what if they like what they dress in what if they like the way that they present themselves maybe it's just not the right person for you need a vehicle that isn't afraid to make a splash that's the vogue Taos. Capable and confident, the Volkswagen Taos is fit for everyday life. Nimble in traffic, agile and tight spots, and still spacious enough for weekend getaways. While available 4-motion all-wheel drive gives confidence in rain and snow. The capable Taos, you deserve more confidence. Visit vw.ca to learn more. SUV.w, German engineered for all.

Another thing is like I used to use standards as a way to deflect wanting to be with anybody and as a way to like gaslight myself into believing that there was nobody out there for me because my standards were so

just insane. I like wanted a robot. I didn't want a human. You know, part of being in a partnership part of being with another person is recognizing that both of you have flaws, and it's not a competition. It is not this race to see who can love each other more, who can do more, who's the better person. You're a team.

You're a team. You can strive to have a Jordan-level performance, but you still need Scotty, and you still need Rodman. You need the team in order for it to function. And maybe right now you need to figure out what your own standards are. Like maybe you're not there yet. The idea of being with somebody else that really scares you. Because, I mean, it's a big step. People like to talk about this idea of like, oh my gosh, like, you know, stop that deep.

But if it feels deep to you, if a relationship feels like it's a lot for you, then it is a lot for you. I listened to so many other people about dating for so long. I thought that something was wrong with me that I didn't have this crazy hookup phase. I thought something was wrong with me that I didn't have this urge to just like date around all the time. I just wanted to find my person and lock in. That's all I ever wanted to do. I was not interested in all the games. I wasn't interested in like all of the antics or like all of the peacocking.

I just, I have love to give. I want to give that love and I want to receive the love that I deserve back. That's it. And if you feel that way, what's the shame in that? Because I think a lot of people are like, oh my gosh, you're going to ruin your life by like having a girlfriend, bro. This is your time. But if you want to have a girlfriend, bro, have a girlfriend. If you want to have a boyfriend, have a boyfriend.

If you want a burger, eat a burger. Like, stop conforming to what your friends want of you because they think you're not going to be fun being in a relationship. I think I'm the most fun now, bro. I can go anywhere. I don't have to worry about how people are looking at me because I got my boo thing at home. I'm chilling.

Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-O-Jo. The online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games. What you win is yours to keep with no wagering requirements, instant payouts, and no minimum withdraws. Hey, I just won. Woo-hoo.

Feel the fun. Play, oh, Joe. Honey, forget about the lasagna. Let's celebrate. 19 plus Ontario only, please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, call 1-6-3-212.600, or visit Connexontario.ca. Okay.

When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh. Then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my out of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center.

Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. Amazon Presents, Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's Verde, Roja, or the... The orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero? More like habanier, yes.

Save the everyday with Amazon. Why? Because I have standards. I had things I wanted. And those things were based in character. They weren't based in just. looks and like, boom, da. They weren't based in that.

They were all things that mattered to make a relationship function. And the way I learned that is by going through a lot of really, really bad relationships. That's how you learn. And maybe you are still experiencing that and you still have some room to grow. And trust me, I had moments where I was like, this is it. This is home stretch. I found them. Nope.

No. It's like the Jordan meme. You know, no, no, no, no. Nope. That wasn't it. That was not it. And I had to keep going. And it broke me, dude. She broke me.

Like, it is what it is. It happens. And at a certain point, you just have to look at yourself and ask yourself, like, am I going to keep doing this? Or am I going to know when somebody, is messing with me and somebody is not taking me seriously and somebody is making me jump through hoops in order to dangle a relationship in front of me you need standards like that cannot be happening if you're serious about it and don't get me wrong there's a part of that that like secretly i liked i liked the chase and i liked being like oh you know maybe now maybe if i pay for this dinner

you know like of course there's like a lure to that but it gets old bro it gets it gets old. Some of us, like, want to start families, which is a whole other thing, bro. This world is crazy, but, like, I think if you have the desire to start a family, do it. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. Some of us just want to, like, have one person. Some of us, want to have many. I don't judge that. But what I do judge is when somebody is complaining about the fact that they can't find anyone and they haven't even scratched the surface of the work they need to do on themselves. It's like you're looking at the wrong direction. You need to

figure some stuff out about yourself. You getting out of a relationship and like immediately transitioning into another one. No. Stop. Take a break. You didn't even breathe. You just like, you like went up for air?

And then you just went straight back down. You didn't even look around where, like, to see where you were. You just immediately were like, oh, I guess the solution is another one. Another one. No, it's not. DJ Khalid. It's not another one. We're the best music.

No, it's not. we are not the best right now we are like in pain because of this relationship you need standards man you need a baseline of what is acceptable you need to recognize that there are certain things that matter to you and you need to follow those things and you cannot let other people tell you oh that's that's not realistic that's not no like all men are this way all men are this way all women are this way. We're all human. We're all going to make mistakes. Like time and time again, that's all we're going to do. So take the time to reflect. Next time you get out of something, take the time for yourself to really think through it. And like, ask yourself, what did you like

about that? What did you not like about that? Usually when we get out of something, we do not realize how much we took for granted, A, and B, where we were just being played with and toyed. They're two important things that we have to realize. And you build knowledge of what you like based on experience. That's how the world works. Okay, it's an experience game. You got an aura farm. You have to engage in life and you have to love life and play the game at times in order to learn.

In order to be like, okay, I'm wiser now. I know now. And sometimes intuitively you will look back and be like, dang it, I knew this was not a good person, or I knew that she was leading me on from the jump. Okay, I'm recognizing that feeling. I'm not going to do that again. That's my standard. My standard is if somebody lies to me within the first couple of dates, I'm not going on another date with them.

My standard is that if I feel like something is icky with this person, I don't trust them, then I don't engage. if I feel like I am not ready to be in a relationship, I don't get in one. You need standards. You need to trust the way that you are. You need to trust that your body sometimes knows more than your mind likes to overthink. And you need to understand that if you want to find somebody, if you want to engage in relationships, you need to have relationships. Not only romantic ones, friendships, and you need a relationship with yourself. and sometimes we need to focus on our relationship with ourselves

in order to open ourselves up to having something good. Zirky Show. Today's episode of The Zirky Show was filmed in Orlando, Florida, with this beautiful background behind me that looks like a painting. Did you know that the Zirky Show is everywhere you go? That is correct. You can watch it, you can scroll, you can stream it. The choice is yours and you ought to tap in.

These are the best ways to tap in. Do the things that bring you joy. Make it a goal. today to talk to somebody older, ask them a question about like something you're going through. Yo, did you go through this? Like, did you ever have like a crush that you had to DM? And they'll be like, yeah, I used to send your grandmother messages, but they were letters or something like that. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. And as always, Zerki Show, I am sending you lots of love. And P.E.