the zurkie show - they lied to you, now what

Episode Date: September 12, 2025

look at where it started, draw a line so it doesn't happen again.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Betrayal hurts because there is a part of it that was your fault. I know that that's easy to say, but what does that actually mean? Well, it means that you gave your trust out to somebody and that trust has been broken, or you have given energy, time, effort towards somebody else and they have not given it the same appreciation and respect that it deserves. I had somebody write me a DM the other day and in that message they talked about the idea that their partner had cheated on them

and they don't know how to move forward and they feel betrayed. I would argue that betrayal well it leaves a trail and going down that trail is extremely important when you are betrayed you need to understand what went wrong and why it went wrong so you do not make that mistake again. And it's not to say that you

will not be hurt again because unfortunately in life things happen. You have lapses of your judgment. You trust somebody that seems trustworthy only for you to get smacked in the face. It's not so much about, you know, doing the complete opposite and demonizing everybody and being like, oh my gosh, everyone is out to get me. You know, that will help you. as much as you think it will, your automatic response is to cocoon yourself and protect yourself, but the truth is that long term will do you more harm than it will. Good. You need to go to the point where you knew that something was wrong, and oftentimes we all have this. We like to think that we don't, but when we look at betrayal, we look at the small, tiny little things that began to

to pile up the signs, the flags. They were always red and they were always there. Give yourself the respect to realize that you had made a mistake, that you were not supposed to trust this person. This person was deeply against your values, but they were available. You know, they wanted to hang out with you. You know, they gave you attention. That's usually a lot of our early relationships what they're based on. It's just like, you think I'm cute. I think you're cute. I think you're cute, all right, let's hang out, you know. Let's do more than hang out. What? But it doesn't change the fact that you've now been betrayed and moving off of betrayal is one of the most difficult things in the world because how can you be sure that nobody else will do the same thing to you?

How can you be sure that you are safe and that you are able to be vulnerable to somebody else, that you are able to open up in the way that you want? You're able to make up my name Jeff, without being laughed at, even though your last partner thought that you were annoying. They disguised it as like, oh, you know, that's funny. Ha, ha. But they didn't actually find you entertaining. They didn't find you funny. You were just a blip in their past.

Betrayal hurts. Betrayal is realizing that you were in love with the idea of somebody, not the actual reality of somebody. and betrayal is painful because being wrong is painful. This episode is brought to you by Telos Online Security. Oh, tax season is the worst. You mean hack season? Sorry, what? Yeah, cybercriminals love tax forms.

But I've got Tell us online security. It helps protect against identity theft and financial fraud so I can stress less during tax season or any season. Plan started just $12 a month. Learn more at talus.com slash online security. No one can prevent all cybercrime or identity theft. Conditions apply. Unities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour.

Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields, like software development and information technology. Learn more at About Amazon. Being wrong sucks and it hurts and it's not good. It doesn't feel good. If it did, everyone would do it. Everyone would be wrong all the time. But that's why there's this unlearning of being wrong, being a bad thing. Because really you being wrong is you learning. It's you making a mistake and realizing, okay, that's not cool. This relationship was not good. This betrayal that I have experienced. by somebody, okay, maybe I need to build better trust in the people that I'm around and the relationships I'm around instead of completely going into it and giving all of myself. Maybe there needs to be a give and take.

Maybe there needs to be more time of us getting to know each other before we cover all the bases. I'm guilty of that myself. You know, these things are important. These are things you need to consider. and after you've accepted the fact that there is a trail and there's something that you can pinpoint and there's a reason why the things happened and why you were betrayed, you can now understand and look at like the characteristics of a person that isn't trustworthy.

You can look at what in yourself did you give up that allowed yourself to be open and vulnerable to something like this happening to you. oftentimes, you know, cheating is brought up as a huge part and nobody likes to get cheated on. I mean, it's a fear of mine. I totally understand. But I think that it is a fear of mine because of the idea of not finding out. That's been the big thing for me, that somebody cheats on me and I'm oblivious to it. And I'm walking around like, oh, I have no idea. But when I look at that, I realize I'm not actually scared of somebody being with somebody else. I'm just afraid of not knowing and that's a bigger problem and if I go on the defense and I just assume all the time that if my partner wants to go and hang out with her friends that there's a chance somebody might be there and they might cheat on me it's it's not a rational way of thinking and I need to trust I need to trust and I need to build trust with somebody like from the get go in order to

to be like I can trust that when you're going somewhere, I'm not second-guessing where you are. I can trust that when you tell me that you have a friend that is a man, that it isn't an encroachment on our relationship. And that trust, it comes from learning from when you've been betrayed. It's all a learning process. Now, how do you deal with the fallout? Like, How do you deal with your relationship with this person and knowing that somebody that hurt you so bad exists in the world without any consequences? That's oftentimes how it feels. You're done wrong and you almost like want revenge. You want retribution against somebody else.

I think you need to stop right there. Need a vehicle that isn't afraid to make a splash? That's the Volkswagen Tauce. Capable and confident. The Volkswagen Touse is fit for every day. day light, nimble in traffic, agile and tight spots, and still spacious enough for weekend getaways. While available 4-motion all-wheel drive gives confidence in rain and snow. The capable taos, you deserve more confidence.

Visit vw.ca to learn more. SUVW, German engineered for all. Because their life is no longer of your concern. And the more time that you think about them in that context, the more time that you think about how much wrong was done to you and how much you want wrong done to them. You are doing yourself a disservice. You are worried about the wrong thing because they do not matter anymore. Yes, they hurt you.

Yes, they betrayed you. Yes, they cheated on you. Yes, they did some damage. But that does not need to be your story. It does not need to be the end of the life. line. It doesn't need to be. Oh, that's, that is what it is. I'm just betrayed by everyone around me. No, no, no. That is a decision that you are making looking at this situation. Now, obviously, you're valid in being upset. You're valid and being angry. I'm not going to sit here

and be like, just, just be stoic about it, bro. No, be upset, man. It sucks. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Nobody deserves to have someone play with you in plain sight. and make you think you're crazy. That's not normal. And you didn't deserve that. But you also have to understand that that person wants you to give in to those emotions. They want you to feel something about it.

And in my experience, what has really helped me is being like, okay, this was the situation, that is the person. I am no longer with this person because they've betrayed me. And so I'm moving here. I'm gone. Me and this person no longer. We're done.

And I need to take the energy that I would have towards hating them, towards stalking their profile and looking for any subliminal on their spam account or whatever. I need to invest it in myself. And I need to treat myself better. because betrayal oftentimes is a lack of self-respect because you knew what was going on. You knew there were signs and you decided to ignore them.

And there is a level of accountability that is insanely uncomfortable, but that you need to make to realize that you don't want this to happen again. And a lot of people wish, they're like, oh yeah, I don't want that to ever happen again. But if it did, it would give them the perfect excuse to be a bad human being.

When a country's productivity cycle is broken, people feel it in their paychecks, their communities, their futures. What does this mean for individuals, communities, and businesses across the country? Join business leaders, policymakers, and influencers for CGs' national series on the Canadian Standard of Living, Productivity and Innovation. Learn what's driving Canada's productivity decline and discover actionable solutions to reverse it. How do you know this surky? Because I've used that same excuse. Because somebody inflicted pain on me, I am allowed to then go into a situation ship and emotionally cut myself off and play with somebody else's feelings because it happened to me.

That is not the right thing to do. How does somebody doing wrong to you justify doing wrong back to someone else in this context, right? It doesn't. It doesn't. Be the stronger individual. Be the person. that most people are not, they don't have the courage to be,

which is the person that learns. The person that looks at betrayal, and instead of investing their time into being like, oh my gosh, I can't believe, they stop themselves. They look at the situation, and they realize, okay,

you've shown me your true colors. You've shown me that I can't be in a relationship with you. Actually, I should be very thankful that I've seen the side of you so I don't waste my time because your time is very valuable. So now that we've come to terms with the actual betrayal, how do we ensure that it doesn't happen again? How do we ensure that we don't have this kind of reaction emotionally to what has gone down?

You need to draw a line. You need to stop letting yourself be walked all over on by other people. You need to say that there is a boundary and you need to make it known. You need to express that your, values do not align with somebody that goes and cheats on other people, somebody that does bad business, somebody that puts themselves narcissistically in front of another person in a relationship all of the time and their opinion is the only one that matters. You need to draw a line and say that that is not right. You need to be vocal about the way that you feel in a

relationship. You need to tell somebody, I do not like the way that you treat me. I do not like the fact that you're always laughing at my jokes or that you think that my career and my interests don't matter and they're not real. Drawing a line sometimes is equated to disagreeing with someone, and that is not at all the case. I think that disagreeing with somebody is also very, very important, but drawing a line is just being human, and it's being somebody that is able to express when something is not fair, when there is an injustice. where you have something that matters to you and somebody is stepping on it and they do not give it the respect that it deserves. I'm appalled at how many times I've allowed myself to be disrespected because I did not draw a line.

Because I did not say, hey, let's not joke about that. You know, you saying, oh, you know, what if I cheated on you is not actually a good joke. Like, be funnier. There are a lot of other things you could, you know, joke about, you know. 6-7 famously funny you could joke about i don't know you know my bender game but instead you're saying oh what if i cheated on you like oh you know ha ha really draw a line like no no it's not funny for somebody to you know make fun of the things that you love i get it you know sometimes people can poke fun at you and it's all fun in games if somebody really loves you you know they're

able to give you some good shtick and you're able to give it back. But if somebody is just like making an encroachment on your on your values and your personality and they're just doing it because it benefits them and it makes them look better than you, I think there's a serious problem. I don't think that's normal. Respect is a two-way street and I think that I have been very, I've been kind of afraid of sticking up for myself. or saying what's right because I'm afraid that it will make someone upset. But I would argue when you draw a line and it upsets somebody else, it actually shows you a lot about their character.

Because if they're not willing to look at their joke that they made or like ask a follow-up question, hey, why did that upset you so much? Like what is the context behind you telling me that's not, that's not cool that me, you know, showing up 30 minutes late to our hangout, you don't enjoy. that like what's what's the problem with that because maybe their relationship towards time their relationship towards you is is different from the one that you have towards them I think a lot of us have relationships that are are really disrespectful in in context of like your time your effort your love that you pour

into them I think a lot of people like to take and I just want you to know that You don't have to, like, stay in any of these relationships. You aren't bound by anything. If anything, drawing a line will actually make you realize what relationships matter to you the most and what people are willing to work with you and see you for who you are and be like, no, I get that. I should be more respectful of your time. And I should make more of an effort to reach out to you and show my love to you.

But you know who the hardest person to draw a line with is? Yourself. That is borderline impossible. It feels that way sometimes. Because drawing a line with yourself means brutal honesty. Whoa! What's up? Hey!

It means acknowledging that you don't care about yourself in the way that you think you do. You're a pushover. to the values and the things that you want done. I've been such a pushover to the things that matter to me in my life recently, like my sleep schedule and the things that I put into my body, what I consume, and also like my ability to focus. I have not been able to respect the line that I have drawn for myself

because I'm like, I don't deserve, it. You can really tell a lot about a person by the way that they respect themselves and if they do at all. And I don't think that I've been a good representative of myself to myself. And listen, I don't think that it means me being super like, I will go to bed at 10.30. You know, you have to be able to have a working relationship with yourself. And you should be able to, like, hear yourself out and be like, you know what? Maybe I don't need to lock in right at this moment. I can enjoy like a dinner with my friends. I can enjoy going to Chili's for $60. No, I can, I can enjoy being present, going on a hike, reading a book. Like I can allot time to indulge in the things that matter a healthy

amount but where I think there is a true discrepancy is in people just like indulging too much to a point where it's destructive to a point where it's not even honoring your own boundaries you you preach that yeah man oh we're locking in oh yeah we're going to the gym every single day but the minute that it's time to show up for yourself you're you're a ghost famously you're a ghost you know be your own cole palmer like be clutch for yourself penalty 90th minute with six minutes extra time you got to you have to approach yourself the same way that you would approach high stakes as somebody else like you are the person that matters the most why would you not show up for yourself the most why wouldn't you draw a line where a

Mind needs to be drawn. I want to be a healthier individual. I want to be more athletic. Okay, you don't need to be David Goggins, but if you want to do those things, how can you work within the parameters of your life to make it happen? You can go on more walks. You can figure out a schedule where you give yourself the time to be great.

Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play Ojo. The online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games. What you win is yours to keep with no wagering requirements, instant payouts, and no minimum withdraws. Hey, I just won. Woohoo!

Feel the fun. Play Ojo. Honey, forget about the lasagna. Let's celebrate. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concern about your gambling or that of someone close to you. Call 16-531-2600 or visit connexontera.ca.

Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's Verde, Roja, or the Or. orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids,

ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post.

Taste. view and enjoy via rail love the way and to be good and i know it is difficult because it means sacrifice but when a line is drawn you have to realize that there is a sacrifice oh there is because you are actively going against the person that you once were you are actively doing something different than what you are accustomed to. And there's nothing wrong with that. That is a beautiful thing. But if you don't allow it to be a beautiful thing, Zerky Show,

it's going to be hard, and you're going to continue to disappoint yourself. Take yourself seriously. Today's episode of The Zirky Show was filmed on a bike trail in a canyon here in beautiful Austin, Texas. Did you know that the Zirky Show is everywhere you go?

That is correct. You can watch it, you can scroll, you can stream it. The choice is yours. These are the best way. to tap in. Do the things that bring you joy and just know that I'm proud of you. There's a lot going on. Stay grounded. Keep going. Keep moving forward. Keep an eye on your friends. Keep an eye on your loved ones. Keep moving forward. Zerkees show. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you.

And as always, I am sending you lots of love and peace.