the zurkie show - they’re not confused, they’re leading you on

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

if you feel like someone is playing with your emotions, there's a good chance your gut is right. I've learned that it isn't worth waiting for others, take initiative and if it isn't reciprocated, keep moving forward. life is too short.https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

There was a time where I thought the person I was interested in was going to leave her man's for me. Why? Because I genuinely believed I was the better option. I did everything by the book. Anything we talked about in our long text conversations, I wrote it down, all the things she liked, all the things she was interested in. I went above and beyond to find everything. I was like Nard war oh my goodness

we have to know but as time moved on and that kind of started to dissipate a little bit that whole dynamic between us I realized that

I wasn't I wasn't gonna get a chance I wasn't and even if I got a chance I knew that it was just going to be the same thing. He would win. She would go back to him. And I guess I'm happy I went through that. I'm happy I know now that there is unfortunately in this life people who they're not

interested in you. But they're interested in what you provide them. They're interested in attention. They're interested in the feeling they get when they're able to. to emotionally dump baggage on you. Am I saying that that was this situation? No, I think it was more complex than that, but I know I've been in other ones where that was entirely the case and the person didn't like me for me.

And if you are in a situation right now where you feel like you're kind of being slighted and you feel like, you know, you were with somebody, maybe you went, no, you know, no contact and then now you see they've kind of moved on, but you've talked about, Let's like rekindle something, you know, later down the line. I'll wait for you.

Don't. Don't wait around. Don't wait for somebody. That person won't. They won't show up for you. They won't. It is an uncomfortable truth because in your mind, you're thinking of you two together, you know, hanging out somewhere. It's super romantic and you're spilling your hearts out to a,

other oh my goodness and it's so awesome and just touchy-feely but the harsh reality is if you were meant to be given a chance it would have happened already now hold on let's rewind right what if you haven't genuinely given a chance to that person like you know you're kind of in your feelings you're waiting around but they don't even know that you like them. That's a completely different thing. I think you've got to shoot your shot. Absolutely. Steph Curry from the three point line. Come on. Nicola Yokic, game winner against the Warriors. You got to do it. But if you have expressed to them, yo, I really, I like you. I like you, like you. I am willing to send you expandable text on I message like you. And they're like, that's cool.

but I'm like figuring myself out but there's a chance there's a chance I'm not saying no like it's a breadcrumb that's what that is it's a breadcrumb on the trail for you to keep walking and keep kind of having the same dynamic and if you try to make something happen it will it will get pushed back I promise you I've been there there's a difference between pursuing somebody don't get me wrong if you are putting in the reps and it's like you're figuring each other out and there is a mutual reciprocation, okay. But if it's not mutual and it feels like it's kind of

like you have to drive forward, every convo, everything, and it's just not, you can feel it. That something is not right. It probably isn't and you should probably not wait around. Don't wait around.

People rarely change. And the way in which you see people right now in this period and how they act to you, there's a good chance that that will kind of stay. Now, the one thing we have, like, consistently in life is the fact that we change. Absolutely, right? But why would you, why would you wait around for somebody to change for you instead of going through and living the life that you have been given and, and doing the things that you want and spending time with people and, you know, experiences that matter to you. And if that person couldn't care about you, you know, any less, what's the point? I don't think there is any point.

And I know it's not black and white. Every relationship has its own caveats and its own kind of interesting twists and turns, and it's easy for me to just be like, no, yeah, don't wait around. but if you know you got to go with your gut you got to you got to feel things out and you got to be like okay you know what yes like i want to do this or you know what i'm willing to take this a little bit slower and feel this out but if you're not feeling a reciprocation of emotions you can bring it up and if they still say i don't know what you're talking about then not actually but you get what i'm saying like you just got to you know that meme of that uh wwee owner that's like that's you

That's what you got to do. Like, nope. Or Dunsky. Or Dunsky. Zerki, that's great. But how do I know if I am waiting around for somebody? It's a great question. If you are banking on anything about a person, about their situation changing, you are waiting

around for them. Simply put. Yeah, but, you know, this person is, they're across the country. really, really like them. We really, really like each other. And it would be long distance and like, we just, I don't want to do long distance. Okay, then you don't want to have the relationship. That's great. Don't wait around.

But what if she's the one? That's something you got to deal with. That's something you got to ask yourself. Because if you do really, really like this person, it doesn't matter if they're in Busan, South Korea. You will do everything in your power to make it work. But if you don't like them enough and you're kind of like then it won't. Then it won't. It just won't.

It won't work, and that's fine. People do a lot of long-distance relationships, okay? It's been done in the past. In my family, famously, there is a long-distance relationship between my parents. I have no idea how they did it. But they did it. You get me? So that is kind of an excuse.

Okay, we can cross that off. So you're waiting for potentially someone to move somewhere. You're banking on something that is out of your control. That is basically what waiting around is. Because the truth is, okay, if that person is far away, then you have to make the decision. Okay, am I willing to commit to this person? Am I willing to go long stretches of time without seeing them? Am I willing to trust this person and be like, you know what?

I think that we're going to have a great relationship. Maybe down the line there's a time where we're going to be together more closely. Maybe, I don't know, who knows? Maybe this is just the dynamic. But it's easier to just be like, well, I'll just like, wait. This episode is brought to you by Tellus Online Security. Oh, tax season is the worst. You mean hack season?

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Okay. But that person has a whole other, they have their own life. And you are banking on the fact very early on that they will live their life in accordance to how you want them to live their life. Does that make sense? Like in the way that you have it pictured for them. Not what they have pictured. Because maybe they're telling you something, but they actually want to do another thing, right?

Maybe they're telling you, yeah, you know, I want to move back home eventually. But they don't. They want to go travel. Oh my goodness. A big one. A big one for you guys, if you're in high school, is you cuff somebody because it's cuffing season. It's Valentine's Day season.

I get it, right? You cuff somebody, great. And then you two go off to college. And one of you really likes the other person and sees the value of having a relationship. And the other wants the college experience. There's no shame in either. Do what you got to do. Have fun. Oh my goodness. But don't lie about it. Don't sit there and be like, no, I want this to last as long as possible because you don't. You want to do something else. So you got to be honest. You got to be like, hey, don't wait around for me. I'm off on my own. I want to do my own thing. This was great. We had a great time. It really meant a lot, but I need to do this.

This is important to me. I want to go do this. Great. You have saved a whole amount of turmoil, of potential holding yourself back, of potential, honestly, really bad decisions on both of your parts by just having a communication, you know, a conversation about that, about being like, I want to, I want to go out and meet people. I'm sorry. That's what it is.

That's what I want to do. And if you're not honest about that, then that's just going to, oh my goodness, that's going to build some insane resentment. That's what that's going to do. And you can't wait around for the other person in that kind of dynamic to be like, well, can't you see like being the positives of being in a relationship? Bro, if they're checked out, they're checked out. Say la vie. See la vie. Keep moving.

Keep moving forward. we're leaving we're leaving all of this oh wait i mean you know we're on and off if you're okay if you're on and off like i'm not one to judge relationships i think that relationships are different for each and every person obviously but at the same course listen if you guys cannot strike a cord and you cannot kind of keep it lit maybe it's not the right time maybe the right time is down the line sure but you shouldn't wait for that you shouldn't sit there and be like oh well you know what we're going to have to rekindle this. No, go on with your life.

Go do your own thing. Man, we hold ourselves back sometimes because of other people. Why? Why? If somebody is really understanding of who you are, they will be supportive of it. Maybe they won't be supportive of you being in a relationship with them because they want you, right? But if they're like, you know what, you want to do this, you want to do this. It is what it is.

Have fun. But don't expect me to be like waiting for you. I'm going to go do my own thing too. That's life. That's life. It's uncomfortable conversations that in the moment feel, oh, they feel weird. And then afterwards, you look back at it and you're like, ha, that was an interesting time. I learned a lot from it.

It was, you know, maybe a little bit emotionally damaging. But, hey, you know, you go through these kind of things and you learn the experience necessary to be able to, Take care of yourself. Need a vehicle that isn't afraid to make a splash? That's the Volkswagen Tauce. Capable and confident, the Volkswagen Tauce is fit for everyday light. Nimble in traffic, agile and tight spots, and still spacious enough for weekend getaways. While available 4-motion all-wheel drive gives confidence in rain and snow.

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You have to have some kind of turmoil. Now, there's a difference between, you know, going through turmoil and learning from it and being like, okay, I don't want this to happen again. I was naive before. Let me not be naive this time and let me really, really make something happen. And you, you know, willingly just getting back in turmoil because you like it, because you like the feeling. of, you know, not respecting yourself, not learning. And it's like, well, I don't care. I'm just going to do it anyways.

All right. Have fun because it becomes a pattern. And when it becomes a pattern, it's hard to get rid of the pattern. Trust me! It's hard to get rid of the pattern. For a lot of you that are going into the workforce in this beautiful economy where a date at Chili's is $60. I have some tips for you because in a similar vein, your relationships rival that of your work relationships.

And if you feel like you're not being valued in a certain place and the way in which you're being treated with pay, with, you know, your benefits, with whatever, honestly, is not on the same wavelength as what you want. Do not wait around. Do not listen to false promises. A lot of things. people like to promise things and it's a difference when you think that you want something and then you have a communication of like hey this is kind of hard for me I'm uncomfortable with this hey our company can't really do this right now we want to be open with you and work something out all right that's respect that's respect but it's different when somebody sits there and kind of basically sells you a dream of like you're going to do this you're going to be our main person for this you're going to be the goat at this.

And then they just, they don't, they don't back up what they say. They don't do it. They do not follow through on their promises. And, and I've been that person. I've been, I over promise.

I over promise. I do. It's a, it's a habit I'm really trying to curb. And I've done a better job of it. I'm not perfect. I still do it. I've done it countless times.

And I'm cognizant of it now. And I know that, Okay, if I know that something is bad or that I need to talk about something, I cannot let the people pleaser in me, not address it. I need to address it before it becomes a problem. But I still, I fall short all the time. But in a similar vein, man, I've had people sweet talk me. I've had people be like, wow, you're, oh my gosh, we're going to have you do this.

We're going to have you do that. But I don't wait around because I know if it's, hey, if there's nothing backing it up, if there's no kind of evidence for it, then I can't trust it. I can't. I need to see it. I need to see it first. I need to feel the vibes first. And if you are being like promised, oh my, you're a top performer at our company. We're going to hit you with this raise. If there ain't a contract with your name on it and that raise, it ain't happening. That's what I've learned. Until paperwork is signed, it ain't happening. Real talk. So take that how you will. Maybe you are

in a position where there are certain things out of your control and you are kind of like, well, listen, I want to be making more money or I want to be, I think I do like two jobs instead of one and I want to be compensated for that. You have to be willing to walk away. You have to be willing to be like, all right, you know what? You don't see my worth. Goodbye. That's fine. It's the same thing as like being in a, you know, in a relationship where that's the case or a friendship where, you know, you are always hitting the other person up and then you don't text them. never hit you back. If there's no evidence backing up the steps, then it's baseless.

Talk is so cheap. It really is. And it's ironic because that's what I do. I just yap, right? But it is really true when it comes to promising somebody and being like, yo, this is going to happen or like this is what we're going to do for you. Like, you never know. And I don't think you should take that personally.

I've never taken it personally. I'm like, wow, whatever. No. way things go. Sometimes you will have an opportunity come your way and like things will align. Other times it won't. And there's nothing that you should take personally about that. You just got to be like, okay, this is the reality of the situation. I respect it. I respect the situation the way it's happening. I think that there's a reason for this happening this way. So I'm going to move myself somewhere where I think I'll get more respect. I think that it'll be better for me and I'll feel better. But that's this person.

You've got to do that. You've got to realize that. And it's so easy to get caught up and just like, well, no, I feel guilty about this. Why do you feel guilty? Why? There's something else here now. Something new. From Exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules.

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They're nice to me. That's great. I'm nice to everybody. Do they appreciate you? I think so. Well, do they pay you what you're worth? No. I don't know. I don't know. But in my instance, I've had to walk away from a few things because I'm like, this is not going to be, this isn't going to be worth it. It's just not. You know, what I can feel it. I can feel that there is some kind of thing happening. The opportunity is just not correct. There's something about it that's really off to me. And I've had to say no. I've had to say no to like dream opportunities because I just had a hunch that. I would be waiting around.

I wouldn't be able to kind of flourish in the way that I want to. I would just be waiting around. And listen, I'm not one to judge. You might have certain experiences that require you to be patient. You might have certain opportunities, even certain people that just they open up with time, right? But there is this innate feeling sometimes you get about a certain person, about a certain place, place about a certain experience or opportunity that tells you, is this good for me? It makes you ask yourself the question of like, is this good for me?

Do I feel comfortable in this? Do I feel like I'm going to learn in this, right? And if the answer is no, and you know it, there's, you, you, you can't really put a finger on it, but you know it. You get what I'm saying? Don't wait around. Don't. Because it's, it's probably trying to tell you that.

things ain't going to change. And things rarely change unless we decide we want to change. That's really the truth. Like if you decide, hey, I want to change my reality. I want to change the things that I'm doing. I want to change the people I'm around. You just can't wait on things to happen. Like you've got to kind of do it yourself, right?

You've got to kind of go out and find that and seek that out sometimes. At least you got to seek out the things. that will make you feel better or put you in that state to attract people that matter that are good for you and it's a complicated thing and nobody gets it right all of the time it takes a lot of effort it takes a lot of understanding and you will have times where you you will find yourself waiting around even if you don't you will i literally knew about this from prior experiences and i had an experience recently where I did wait around, you know. But at least you'll be able to catch yourself sooner.

And you'll be able to listen to yourself a lot quicker. And that in itself is worth so much because you'll save time. Instead of being like, oh my goodness, why did I stay in that for four years? You're going to be like, oh my goodness, why did I stay in that for four days? You know, wasn't worth it. But we have to go through it. Anything, anything, anything, you have to go. through it at least once how you react to it how you move from it what you do to

better yourself from it that's on you that's on you but I promise you that person that you want to get with because you want to be the bigger person you want to be the better partner you want to be the girlfriend they never had the partner boyfriend they never had don't wait around don't wait around Zerky Show just don't just don't Crazy update in coming. Three, two, one. I've made a P.O. Box.

What? Yes, this is true. Mail Time with Zerke, episode one is coming very, very soon. If you want to send me a letter with a question, I don't know. You want to send me a doodle. You want to send me a meme that's printed out. I would love that. I would love that.

This is completely optional. But if you do want to do it, this is the way to do it. This is the way to send your letter or send whatever you want to send to me. This is the P.O. box. and I hope that you tap in. Big shout out to the OGs. I'm talking about the ones that played Balloons Tower Defense on cool math games.

What you know about the superhero monkey, huh? Well, did you also know that the Zerky Show is everywhere you go? That's right. You can watch it, you can scroll it, you can stream it. So the choice is yours. How you decide to do it? Can't control that, but if you want to tap in,

tap in! Do the things that bring you joy. Try something new. get out of your comfort zone. And if you're starting something new, I want you to know that I believe in you. You got this. Give it a shot.

See what happens. Zerky Show. I am sending you so much love. And... Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-Ojo.

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