the zurkie show - this is why you don’t trust yourself

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

sometimes we need to treat ourselves as if we were a D.I.Y. project that your dad was obsessed with even though your mom begged him to "just buy it" at Menards or Home Depot. it takes time to change, but more importantly, it takes evidence.if you feel like the evidence is stacked against the person you want to be, you won't believe in your progress. just try to focus on the things you can do for your new self, even if it's a small thing each day.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaaace!!!⁠https://stan.store/thezurkieshow⁠

Of course you're frustrated with yourself. Of course you're not happy with who you are. Of course. Why would you be happy if you lack evidence? Why would you believe in that if you don't have anything to back it? There's a simple reason you don't believe in the changes you're making in your life. Very simple. And it's the fact that you are building against a mountain.

What? Your life as a new person, as some of you. who is just figuring out the changes that they want to make and how they want to implement them. You are stacking that up against the old version of yourself, the part of you that you are trying so hard to not be like. You, my friend, you lack evidence. Plain and simple. You just haven't built the evidence. And it is a hard journey. So hard. So hard. to build that evidence. But what we fail to recognize, especially in our life, I think, is that evidence is crucial to everything. You need examples of the person that you want to become.

You need to do things that embody that. If you genuinely want to change, you need to implement these kind of things into your daily life, even the small things. You want to have a better relationship with yourself, right? You want to take care of yourself a little bit more than you do right now. I get it, right? Maybe a big thing for you is that you feel like your life is being led by others the entire time. Totally fair. Well, what would be a small thing you could do today that could at least make you feel like you have one thing that's in your control? Maybe that's something as simple as like making a cup of coffee in the morning for yourself. Or maybe a it's a little bit more complicated. You want to build a certain kind of journaling routine that

you know embodies like I don't know your life like you record your life and you talk about the things that you're doing. You know I'm in Miami, Florida right now. Definitely would want to write about that. That's pretty cool. Hey, look at this. GTA 6 confirmed. You can you can hop on a boat in GTA 6. Evidence. Evidence. You lack it. I think this is where your frustration is coming from. It was a big frustration for me. I remember for a while, I wanted to be the idealized person. I wanted to be the perfect person. And it's just, man, it kept me going insane.

Because in all honesty, I just, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. But I think that sometimes we conflate our want to be perfect and be a perfect person with just wanting to feel like we accept ourselves. And some people will tell you that, oh, if you want to accept yourself, you just got to do it, and then you're embodying it.

But I don't think it's that easy. I do think that there is work to be done, and it's about having some kind of concrete, consistent evidence that backs up the fact that, yo, I'm actually making a change. Even if it's a small thing every day, I'm actively making a change and I'm doing something for myself or I'm doing something towards wherever I want to go. I used to be really frustrated about my career because for me my career, that was what defined me for a long time as to like my self-worth, which I'm not going to lie.

It's a slippery slope, man. I mean, it's cool to do something cool, but if you tie all of your self-worth into it, oh, who's calling my phone? It's rough. It's rough. But something I quickly realized was the more I stressed about my actual goal of wanting to like do something grand and awesome. And the less I actually did, like the less I actually, you know, the less evidence I actually collected for myself. I completely skipped out on this part. And I would get so frustrated when I would, you know, meet people that I aspired to be like or I would try to do things and collaborate with other people because I felt like my work was not representative of the things I could do. But it's like, of course it wasn't.

I lacked the evidence. I didn't even build the evidence, you know, on my own to be able to share that with people. And I think it takes a lot of, it takes a lot of awareness. to understand that it really does start with you. It starts with you tenfold. And oftentimes, like, you know, we're working towards something. We want to make a change. We want to start a new habit.

You can rely on people only so much until the mirror points back at you. And you've got to look and be like, oh, man, I'm really not making this happen. I'm really not making this happen. I am not building good evidence for myself. And instead, I'm kind of just dilly dallying. Y'all remember that word, dilly dallying? Yeah. I've done a lot of that.

I've done a lot of just mindless toil, working against my goal, working against the person that I want to be. I've also done a lot of like procrastination on even treating myself the way that I want to be treated. telling myself, yo, I'm going to actually do that craft that would bring me a lot of joy that I can hang in my house. But I'm going to do it, you know, next week. And then next week turns into next month. And then next month turns into half a year. You know? I think the question is how can you build evidence for that new person that you want to be on a smaller scale?

Because I think we make it way too complicated. We think that we need to start 50 million different routines. We have to have the Saratoga water. Thank you. And we have to, you know, again, just overdo it. You can be a new person by building the small evidence that right now you lack and just repeating that on a day to day. Because the small things matter famously, right?

But of course you're frustrated with yourself. Of course you're not happy with who you are. Of course. Why would you be happy if you lack evidence? Why would you believe in that if you don't have anything to back it? You wouldn't. And so maybe it's about figuring out what is evidence that I could collect on the day to day. Like when you look inward, what would be a small action?

Something so minuscule most people wouldn't notice. but if you did it, you would feel like you accomplished something. A small thing for me that I try to do every single day is, I try to be on top of my text. Cap. I'm calling cap on that. Oh, man, I'm bad. Bro, I got like 250 unread messages. And I think there's something so beautiful about that number just going up and like just being like, oh, that's cool. bro i'm so bad at getting back to people i'm great at responding to the people i want to i'm bad at getting back to people uh something that i love to do for myself every day is is go out to nature go for a walk it it is so small and sometimes over the you know the chaos of like normal life

and kind of feeling like you don't have you don't have time right it is really really comfortable to know that i can just like unpleasing plug for 15 minutes, 20 minutes, go for a little walk. That's something that's brought me a lot of joy and has made me really feel like, okay, you know, okay, that's some evidence that like, I appreciate myself, right? And I love myself. I'm willing to take myself on a little walk. The other day, I was in beautiful Coconut Grove here in Miami, Florida.

And I went and got a paleta, you know, those like little ice creams with like the filling inside. Oh my God. Banger. And I had a paletta with condensed milk. It was a banana with a Nutella filling paleta. And then it had condensed milk and I got Oreo on that. I got everything on it, bro.

And I was just sitting there outside in the sun under a little umbrella. Just like watching people walk by, you know, people watch. And it felt really good. I was kind of having a hectic day. So I had like a little internal, you know, dialogue with myself and I was just like, I need to, I need to get something that's going to, you know, give me evidence that today will be a day I will survive because this is crazy. And then, you know, it was a really well-needed break, man. And it made me kind of the action of buying that paleta and like sitting down and eating it built the evidence for myself that, yo, I respect myself at the end. the day, no matter what goes on, we're chilling. Like, we're going to be fine. It's going to be

okay. And sometimes that's all we need. Sometimes that's all the evidence we need. We don't need all these little, you know, the culmination of all these little things. It does help. But sometimes on the days where you really have a really bad day, you just need one thing to keep you going. you really do you you just need one reason to get out of bed in the morning one that's strong enough and i i i had a period in my life where i didn't i didn't want to get out of bed like i didn't feel like there was any point to it you know i i just i felt tired tired of it all and something that helped me was i remember like i started making plans to get coffee with my friends because I found that I was able to wake up to go to some

plans like go go and get coffee with a homie and I couldn't really do the same for myself and I knew why I kind of realized why that was and it was because you know I lacked evidence to respect myself Like, I didn't feel like I had the evidence and that I was worthy of self-respect and I was worthy to get up for. But another person, absolutely. Absolutely. And now, honestly, over the past two years, I feel like I've built more and more evidence for myself that I am worthy, that I am somebody that's worth. waking up for early, you know, that I am somebody that's worth grabbing a Jersey Mike's club sub and eating it all in one go like a giant and being okay with it because,

you know, I had a long day, that I am somebody that, you know, that deserves acceptance from me. And that instead of trying to hydraulic press this, you know, this. expectation of who I should be, what I should do, the standard that I need to have, I can just be. And that is more than enough. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch.

Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via rail, love the way. And I've built this evidence. You know, over years. I'm not expecting you to build this evidence tomorrow.

No. Take so much time and intention. But I think it really comes down to, do you respect yourself? And if the answer is no and you want to, because that is the root of a lot of great things in life, is just respecting yourself. Then what is the evidence you want to build for it? What's the evidence you want to build for?

for it. What is going to make you feel like you respect yourself? What is going to make you feel like you're doing all right? Like things are good. And it's good to have goals and like like like places that you want to be in five years. What's your five year plan? It's great to have all that. But it's like what what what can you do now to build that kind of evidence? Show up for yourself. You know it's it's bigger than just going to the gym. It's about knowing that you respect yourself and that you want to be healthy and going regardless of how you feel. It's bigger than eating healthy. It's that you respect your body and what you put into it and how that affects your mood, your brain, your bodily functions, you know?

It's bigger than talking down on yourself. It's actually building evidence that. that you aren't worthy, that you aren't good enough. You know, it's one thing to make a self-deprecating joke once in a while. Everyone does that. We all have our insecurities, yada, yada, yada, yada, rada. Rada, rada, chowder reference. I think so.

But it's different when you actually do truly believe it. And you're spewing this kind of self-hatred, and you're spinning it in this nice little, you know, sweet joke. but really if someone was like oh yeah you're right you'd believe it you'd be like yeah yeah yeah I am ugly I am fat I am worthless you lack evidence you lack evidence for that not to be true and I think it's driving you nuts because it drove me nuts it drove me so so nuts I I almost felt like I could not. I could not be optimistic for a better version of me because I didn't even know what that looked like because I was so wrapped up in like what that would look like as the perfect

version of me when in reality I should have just I should have just like held the door open for somebody you get me like I should have just sent a friend of mine a song that reminded me of them. But instead, I was just like, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. And that was always on repeat. You know, it's like an iPod stuck in replay, play, play, play, play, play. Shotties like a melody. My head. I forgot the lyrics. I'm sorry. But guess what? I'm still good. I'm still good. Why? Because I have evidence that I know so many other lyrics. Right? I know they not like us by Kendrick Lamar. I, I, I, I, I, I ain't run for your life.

Okay, anyways. I also know Nokia by Drake, you know? Who's calling my phone? It's awesome. Anyways, you lack evidence. So go and make some evidence that supports who you want to be. Go and make some evidence

that embodies the characteristics of the person that you want to be. You want to be more artistic, beautiful. Download FL Studio, do it. Start making beats. Get that kind of course. for, I don't know, painting that you've wanted to do, some kind of oil painting. Just go out, do it.

You want to be a world traveler. You want to be like, you know, a person that speaks 500 different languages and has, you know, a double platinum with no features, dualingo account. Beautiful. Beautiful. Go out and learn that language. Now, now, that's the key, is now. what's the easiest way to do that for you? What is the easiest way over time to build some kind of evidence that, yes, this is me? Hi, it's me, you know, what is the evidence for that?

Because if right now you don't feel like these things are true, absolutely they aren't because you lack evidence. You don't have it. You don't have it. So now it's about building that. It's about finding what evidence we can bring to the table. And that also comes with time. Be patient.

You need to spend time building this evidence. But Zerki Show, just know. I always believe in you. And if you want to build that evidence, I'm here for you. So let's get after it. Let's make it happen. Because this year, I want to see some of us change for the better. Simple as that.

Did you know? The Zerky Show is everywhere you go. You can watch it, you can scroll it, you can stream it. The choice is yours, so if you want to tap in, tap in. Reminder, we are looking for people to send in mail for the chance to be featured on a new show on the Zerky Show Network called Mail Time with Zirky. So if you want to send something, you want to come up with something epic, send it over to this. This is how you address it. I hope to see what your beautiful mind comes up with.

Thank you. Do the things that bring you joy and find out what it is you want to be. You want to be a chef this year. You know, whipping like it's stir fry. Beautiful. Okay. Cook something for the homies. Bring the homies over.

Make some, you know, chicken fried rice. Find some kind of recipe that, you know, has a bunch of ads on it. They have to scroll all the way to the bottom. Why do they do that? Give me just the recipe. I don't need the ads. Bruh. And if you're trying something new, just know I believe in you.

I really do. and you got this. Give it a shot. Be graceful with yourself. Zerky Show. Above all, I want you to know that I trust you, and also I am sending you lots of love and peace. Rosen lasagna, medium power,

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