the zurkie show - what to do when life falls apart
Episode Date: April 10, 2025life never goes according to plan.you can try to push back on the changes, but rolling with the punches allows you to build something better for yourself.just as long as you keep swimming through the ...trenches, you'll make it to where you need to go. don't hold back, just stay in there.sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaaaace!https://stan.store/thezurkieshow
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What happens if your life doesn't work out?
None of it.
None of the plans, none of the ideas that you have in your brain of how you want to live life.
You wanted to do some kind of investing in some crypto and get yourself a yacht.
And then the crypto tanks and you are in debt.
And you have to mortgage everything you own and then you have nothing.
I have nothing.
What then?
Okay, well, I'm no financial advisor.
I don't think you should be really investing in things unless you do your own research.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I know any of that.
But one thing I do know is that life has one constant thing.
And that is change.
And that change,
sometimes it doesn't favor us.
You know, Lil Yadi, whenever he wraps, he says,
in the beginning he says, it's us.
But life does not think that way.
No, no, no, no, no.
Life has its own course.
And there is, um,
There is this phrase I remember my English teachers having on the walls of their classroom in like circa 2010s.
And it said these words and I live by these words because they have kept my sanity.
Keep calm and carry on.
Carry on.
Now I'm not talking about carry on like a plane, you know, you take a carry on on a plane, which now.
They'll be taxing that.
You can't even bring a carry-on without paying an extra $700.
What is going on?
Why can't I just take my backpack and put it in the overhead bin compartment?
All right, anyways.
Carrying on and keeping calm are two things that you will have to learn one way or another in life if you want to literally keep your mental sanity.
Because if you do not, you will not have them.
Sorry, you won't have it.
See?
I could have freaked out at the fact that I misspoke, but I kept calm.
I was like nonchalant about it.
You know, I was like, hey, you know, I messed up.
It's cool.
It's cooler.
It's smoother.
I just kept calm and carried on.
And this is so important because you will witness everything in your life crumble within hours.
at one point or another in your life.
Whether that is, I don't know,
you said something behind someone's back
and you were really trying to be, you know, kind about it,
but you said it in a way that was kind of rude.
And then it's just like they find out
and then on top of that you get a flat tire on your way to Chili's
to meet your hinge date for $60.
And that will happen.
And then your mom will call you
and tell you that the dog is sick
and that you need to come home and take care of it
because she's going for a nail tech appointment.
It's like, what is it?
going on. And I think a common mistake that we make when everything hits the fan is we take everything
personally. Like it is an attack on the universe against you. And this is, it's valid. It's valid. I mean,
like, bro, like, when everything goes wrong, how can you just, like, sit there and be, oh,
oh, I'm chilling. How do you keep?
calm. You can't. You can't keep calm. Unless you understand that your calmness will come from the way in which you
react. Because every time I've reacted with emotion, with genuine rage, like a rage monster from
Dude Perfect. Reference, I dig myself into a deeper hole. It's like a crab on the beach that keeps
putting sand on them.
And it's like,
why do I do that?
Because really when you look at it,
it's not going to fix anything.
It's not like that's going to fix the problem.
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And so I started looking at all of these moments in my life is more of a test.
Which is, I know it's copium.
Okay, I know.
It's like, well, Zirky, what if my dog got hit by a car?
Yeah, that sucks.
That's actually terrible.
I wouldn't want any, I wouldn't want my worst enemy to experience that.
Dude, like, not even like, you know, the owner of Chili's.
Like, respect, bro.
I got your triple dipper.
I thought it was good.
I just thought the prices were kind of high for what I got.
That's all.
It's my only beef.
But it's like,
We really be crashing out over the smallest things.
Let's keep it so for real.
It's not that we're crashing out over the heavy hitting things that come into our life
because those like when it has gravity, you feel it.
And it low-key paralyzes you.
So it's like I've never in my life crashed out over something like a very big change.
Funny enough, all of my crashouts have been on small things that were controllable.
There were things that I wanted to avoid, and it was my fault.
Almost like 90% of it has been my fault.
10%? All right, you know, it might have been somebody else's fault, and I was just like, bro.
Why did you leave the dishes in the sink for a week, bro?
I had a roommate in college that would leave the dishes a lot.
And I'm not a saint.
I've left the dishes before.
Hondo P.
You know, I'm not going to sit here and say, I'm perfect when I'm not.
Bro, how do you leave the dishes for a week?
Let's get back to this, though.
Keep in calm and carrying on.
I loved this little moment in internet history, the keep calm memes.
You know, keep calm and watch the office.
Keep calm and eat avocados, you know.
Keep calm and eat bacon.
You guys remember when everyone was obsessed with bacon and avocados?
cheese.
Y'all had to be there.
You had to be there.
But keeping calm is so important in practice
because it allows you to have a very level-headed perspective
on the things that are going on
because usually we stress about things that are not in our control
and we crash out over things that completely are.
For example, a big thing that has been a common theme in my life
that I've crashed out over is just,
like not being prepared for when I want to go out and work. I used to be super good at getting ready
in the morning. I would actually prepare the night before so that I had all my stuff ready for the
morning and I was just ready to go. I had my outfit picked out. I was like a little kid. You know,
I knew what soccer jersey I was going to wear to school. Usually it was between my, uh, Barcelona
jersey or my Didier Dragbae Chelsea jersey. That's my favorite Chelsea player of all time.
Unk nose ball
All right
And yeah
I would crash out
When I started to lack
Preparation
When I started to just
Be like
I'll do it in the morning
And then the morning would come
And I'd be like
Oh
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee
And it's like
And then I'd be getting pissed
To myself
Because nothing is prepared
And I'm like
I needed to leave the house
30 minutes ago
And it's like brother
You
You did, but like the 15 minutes that could have been spent preparing yourself, you know, the day before for the day to day.
You spent it.
You spent it watching things.
That's really what it was.
And you knew, you knew that you were, you wanted to get to bed earlier or you wanted to prepare yourself for the day, the next day.
And you just, you didn't.
You didn't.
So you got two options in that moment
When you look at your backpack and you realize you forgot like half of the things that you got to put in it
It's like you have a you have a test
You can either crash out
And I don't know throw stuff at the wall or whatever you do when you crash out
You know grab your hair like ah you know
I've done it all I've done it all
Or
You can keep calm and carry on
And be like, okay
Yeah, I mean, I forgot.
All right, I forgot.
But I have 10 minutes now.
I'm going to prepare everything.
I'm going to make sure I'm good.
And hopefully, this is going to teach me that I need to start preparing the day before for the day I want to have productive.
That's really where it starts.
It doesn't start the day of.
It's like if you don't give yourself some kind of train tracks to go down, you're going to get derailed.
And guess what?
You will even have the train tracks laid down.
You'll know where to go.
You'll have the Eurorail pass on lock, Paris to London.
And it'll still get derailed.
And then what?
Same thing.
You got to keep calm and carry on.
Because the alternative is very simple.
You keep crashing out and you keep getting upset.
And your threshold for what you can withstand in life is going to become so low.
So low.
No, Frank Ocean.
that you will
you will crumble
you will crumble
in the face of any kind of adversity
and listen that it's your life
it's your life you can do
and deal with emotions however you want to
to do it
but man it's going to get harder
it's going to get harder
it will
because soon in your life you won't have
many things to blame
other than yourself for a lot of your mistakes.
Now, of course, there's other things we can blame, you know.
Eggs being $5 million is not awesome.
It's not cool.
And, you know, me, me dreaming about a house that one day I could own.
It's a dream.
What was I doing in 2008, bro?
I was seven years old.
I should have locked in.
I should have locked in.
No, no, but
calma.
Let's calm it down.
Calma.
At some point, it's just going to be you.
You won't be able to
blame the mistakes on your parents,
on your friends, on your environment
as much as you think you will.
I know I have a friend
who, funny enough,
their dream was to move,
to a place with a beach.
And I remember them telling me,
Zerki, like, I'm so unhappy here.
I hate this place.
I hate Illinois.
If only I had the beach,
I would be so happy.
I can meet my dream.
Girl, like, everything will be good.
And I was like, yeah, hey, fam.
Like, that's cool.
That's a great dream to have.
But, like, I don't know, dude.
Yes, I want to leave this place, too.
But I don't know.
think that just leaving will solve every problem. I don't know. I think it'll be a good challenge,
but I don't think it's going to solve every single problem you have, and you have a lot of problems.
And I remember him being so convinced. No, no, no, your cap, your cap. That is the only thing
holding me back right now. It's that I don't have the beach. I don't have a beautiful boat I can sail on.
And fast forward, he ended up moving. He did. He moved all the way down south to a
beautiful place with a bay, with sandy beaches, and I visited him only to find out after I asked him,
after he put on a little front and did his little dance that everything's good, you know,
how are you actually? I remember he kind of didn't want to admit it at first, but in the small
comments and the small remarks
and the way in which he would get pissed
off that the light
didn't immediately turn green
while we were at a stoplight.
He was the same.
He still hated everything.
He was still crashing out over everything in his life.
And he had everything.
Everything he wanted, at least what he thought he
wanted, right?
And I was like, dude, I don't think that this really
has done what you thought
it was going to do for you.
And he's like, I mean, yeah.
But you know, like, that's life.
And maybe my life is just bad.
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I don't even really know what to say.
I was like, dude.
Maybe instead of the crashouts, you've got to keep.
calm and carry on man because you're everything is a problem all the time and i that is such a big pet peeve of
mine ever like someone who has a problem with everything all the time it's okay to complain you
should complain sometimes there are moments where complaining is actually very important
very important and you have to make your emotions known because if you bottle it up oh man
then you're going to crack that bottle and it'll be,
it'll be pandemonium on earth.
Versus if you just say,
yo,
can you stop doing that,
please for like five seconds?
That person will be like,
oh,
my bad.
Yo, my bad, bro.
All right, cool.
We're chilling.
But I think this idea that the world is out to get you
is dangerous.
It's very,
very dangerous because everyone faces
adversity,
Everybody. Everybody.
Now, do we face different levels of it?
Yes.
Am I facing a different adversity going to Chili's than this crypto-bigillionaire on the yacht?
Yes.
Yes.
Is it fair?
No.
It's not fair.
No, it's not.
I have to take it how it is.
Because your other option is things stay the same.
And if that's what you want, hey, I'm for it.
Sure.
But just know, you might be missing out on a better reality.
One that when things hit the fan, it actually doesn't mean that everything is going to go down the drain immediately.
No, no, no, no.
It actually means that you're being given a little test on how bad you want something.
Or how bad you want to change as a person.
We often encounter this when we try to change too.
Like, we'll try to adopt a new habit, a new mindset.
We'll be like, this is, this is it.
I'm going to get my beach bob this year.
And then day three hits of being on the workout routine, you wake up at 11 a.m.
Instead of 9 a.m.
And then it's like, well, what are you going to do?
Because I know what my internal dialogue is.
And I have failed more times than I have succeeded.
But one thing I know is that the moments in which I keep calm and
carry on and I have made that conscious decision that no matter what, no matter what gets thrown
in my day, how many wrenches I have to deal with, how many silverfish I have to fight in the
mines as I try to find the end portal, I'm still going to be okay. And I'm still going to get
what I want. And if what I want is a cafe con leche, then that is what I'm going to get.
If what I want is to be consistent with what I do every single day, I am going to do it.
If what I want is to love myself and accept myself, even when every part of my body, every part of my being, every part of my mind is trying to trick me into not believing it, I am going to believe it.
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Because I'm chilling. I'm keeping
calm. I know.
it's making me mad and I'm pissed off.
I'm upset, you know.
But I'm carrying on.
I keep going.
I keep going.
And it will suck.
It will suck.
Of course.
Of course.
But I would rather it suck than regret it.
Then feel like I folded.
And hit like a, you know, a face palm.
Ah, what you know about the face?
Palm what you know about bro
Dude I oh man
Guys we need to bring back
Face palming
Some of those OG memes bro like that
Defined language for us
Do you understand that that is like that is ours
9 plus 10 is 21 like that is just math now
Crazy
Crazy
Keep calm and carry on
The last thing I'll say about keeping calm and carrying on is that grace is probably the most important thing you have to learn as an adult, especially now in today's age when it is so easy to be reminded of how pathetic your life is.
Because all we're doing is we keep looking up.
We keep looking up to the people who seem like they have it all.
And most of them do.
I mean, come on.
most of them do have it all on paper but again we think that they don't have problems that they're not
you know stressing about dumb things it's like of course they are of course they are so give yourself
some kind of respect like understand that learning how to give yourself grace and accepting a situation
how it is and figuring out what you can do what is in your control and how you can at least make it
a little bit better for yourself it's not selfish it's needed and I
At times, you will have to be selfish.
You will.
Sorry.
How do you think we survived so long?
We were chilling with the tribe.
We were running duos.
We were running squads.
And then sometimes we had to solo it.
We did.
But the main thing is, you will be tested in life.
You will have moments where you lose all faith in everything,
because everything has come crashing down.
and you are back at zero.
Once you realize that in the same moments
that bring you despair and make you want to quit at everything
and make you feel like it's over, it's done, you're cooked,
there is as much, if not more, to learn about yourself
and also make your situation 10 times better, Zerky Show.
10 times better.
But that does not come unless you keep calm and carry on.
Keep it moving.
Keep it going.
Did you know that the Zerky Show is everywhere you go?
What?
That is correct.
You can watch it.
You can scroll it.
You can stream it.
The choice is yours.
Just know that it's the Zirky Show all over the globe.
We got great communities everywhere if you want to tap in.
Tap in.
We just got a letter from the Zerky Show.
We are looking for people to send in mail questions, anything,
to this PO box for a chance to be featured on a new Zirky show
show called Mail Time with Zirky.
If you would like to be a part of it, this is the address.
I cannot wait to see what your beautiful mind comes up with.
Yeah.
Do the things that bring you joy.
There will be some crazy things happening in our lifetime.
There will be.
I think we're going to see some of that very soon.
Try to stay as calm as you can.
Try to just control the things that you can control.
I know that there's a lot that you can't.
There's a lot that we can't as a generation control right now, which is crazy.
Just try your best.
Okay?
We're going to be all right.
We're going to make things happen.
We'll be okay, and you'll be okay.
If you want to try something new, try something new now is the time to do it.
If you need someone to believe in you, I believe in you.
Just know that Zirky Show.
I also trust you so much, and I am sending you lots of love and peace.
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