the zurkie show - why did you trust them
Episode Date: July 7, 2025sometimes we just don't know any better. let go of resentment. just let it be. learn from it, move forward, trust that the world will bring you what you need. sending you all love and peaaaaaaace!...https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
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I used to have major trust issues.
I think I was already catastrophizing from the get-go of my relationship,
that it was only a matter of time before I got cheated on,
or before somebody hit me with the, hey, girly, I know you don't know me,
but I don't know why that was.
I think it was because I was afraid.
I was afraid of being viewed and perceived as someone who had no idea,
as someone who was toyed with.
and that really made me realize how important trust is.
I think that it's not crazy to say you should have somebody that off-rip.
When you meet them, when they tell you what they're going to do,
when you hang out with them, you trust them.
But again, oftentimes we get clouded by lust.
Oftentimes we get clouded by the idea of being with somebody and not being alone.
And it makes me ask the question.
I want you to ask it too.
Do you trust them?
I do. I do trust them.
I do trust the people in my life.
I do trust my parents with information that I wouldn't tell my friends.
I trust my friends with information I would never tell my parents.
But I have learned to pick up on things that make somebody trustworthy.
And one of those things is accountability.
When somebody is accountable for their actions, when somebody is transparent with how they are, with who they are, that makes me realize that I can trust them.
I don't know if you've had this experience yet, but maybe you have met somebody at a party out and about, hanging out with a new group of friends that's just a little bit too eager.
Yo, bro!
Yo, we should kick it.
Yo, we should hang out.
Bro, you're my new best friend.
like, yo, you're the best.
I've learned through being naive and through believing and getting hyped up by people
that those aren't people I can trust.
At least in my life, maybe it's opposite for you.
Maybe those are the people that you vibe the best with.
But for me, that's not the case.
Usually those people want something from me.
Whether that's my time, whether that's my energy, whether that's my money.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, dude, I got an offer you can't refuse.
I haven't talked to you since high school
and you want me to sell knives?
What are you?
You crazy?
But I want to steer this back
to trusting a partner in a relationship
because I think that's where all of us have
the most trust issues.
And it's because of the things that have happened to us.
We got a text, right?
Yo, I'm going to Johns.
Turns out the entire time he was at Johns,
he was at Alyssa's.
You had no idea.
You know, I'm going to this party.
It's going to be fun.
Meanwhile, you're getting Snapchats from other people showing you what he's doing.
He's got his arm around a girl.
That's not you.
Right?
It happens.
But just because somebody betrayed your trust doesn't mean that everybody will.
And at some point, you have to look back and realize,
what were the signs?
Did you trust them from the get-go?
Was it somebody that was genuine?
Or did they trick you?
And listen, dude,
fool me one time, shame on me.
Fool me twice, you can't get fooled again,
famously from Jake Cole role models.
We have to go through getting fooled.
We have to go through finding things out.
We didn't want to find out through somebody
that doesn't know us.
It happens.
but if you take these experiences
and you internalize them in a way
that actually benefits you,
you're going to be better off
and you're going to find people that you can trust.
What a lot of us do is we're naive
and we trust everybody
because we want to trust everyone.
But not everyone can be trusted.
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I spent a lot of my life trying to build trust into people, trying to gaslight myself into believing
that I could trust them. When in reality, I could not. I just couldn't. Time and time again,
they broke it. Time and time again, there was always an excuse. Dude, I was pressured. I'm sorry.
I told this girl your opinion about her because I was pressured. When I was supposed to be
between me and you. And maybe, maybe I shouldn't have shared that opinion. Maybe that was actually
really hurtful. And that joke, it wasn't right. Too many of us
feel wronged.
And I get it.
We've got some really bad practices.
People like to lead other people on.
That's not a good way of using your trust.
People like to get in a situation ship and dangle a relationship
like a carrot on a stick for a pig in Minecraft.
It's like, that's not fair.
But you need to take accountability.
You need to be trusting of yourself and of your decisions.
of your ability to pick somebody if you want trust in a relationship.
I said it and I'll say it again.
It really comes down to you.
That's a sad reality of adulthood is a lot of problems really come down to you to fix them.
And they were given to you.
Some people, they have relationships where they were trustworthy the whole time and it's great.
If that's not you, it is what it is.
But it doesn't mean it's the end of the world.
It doesn't mean that you can't find somebody.
You just need to ask yourself, do you trust them?
And be honest, don't lie to yourself.
Don't be like, well, they got a six-pack, so I do trust them.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
Well, they haven't been in a relationship for a little while.
But do you trust them?
Like, do they reply to you when you text them with interest and intrigue?
No, okay, keep moving.
Do they seem interested in you?
Well, I mean, on Snapchat at 11 p.m., really?
That's when they're interested in you?
Like, come on.
I wouldn't trust somebody like that.
Maybe you're an untrustworthy person, and you have betrayed a lot of people's trust.
That's been me.
Maybe you have promised things to people, and you've been like, no, I will do better.
I'm going to focus on our friendship.
I'm going to make it better, even though I don't want to be your friend, really.
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engineered for all. It starts with honesty. If you are not able to be honest to people and to the people
in your life that are the closest to you, how do you expect to be honest with anyone that you want to
consider romantically? You can't.
If you're not even being accountable of your own actions and being honest with yourself,
how do you expect to trust anyone, period?
You can't.
So I think you need to start there.
I mean, do you trust yourself too?
To make good decisions.
I think that there's been times where I've really doubted myself.
And that led me to focusing on what other people could tell me to do.
There's a real like, solace, low key to,
Having someone be like, no, what you're doing is wrong.
You should just do this.
It's nice.
But man, like, when it's come to certain relationships where I wasn't feeling seen,
I kind of needed to end them off of an intuitive feeling.
And in those cases, I'd ask myself, okay, do I trust myself?
I'm going to have to.
Because I don't want to be with this person.
I can't stand another conversation.
what's your major. I can't do it. So I'm going to end it. And every time I made one of those decisions,
it was the right one. It was the right one, Zerky Show. Be very careful of who you trust.
Even trusting yourself, you have to be careful because sometimes your brain will lie to you.
It will lie to you. It will tell you things that are not true. It will make you believe that you are doing a lot
worse than you actually are. It will make you believe that you are worthless.
There's nobody that's rooting for you.
And that's not true because I am rooting for you.
But you don't even know me.
I don't have to know you.
I'm rooting for you.
I showed up for you.
Show up for me.
Trust me.
Things are going to be okay.
Things might suck right now.
Things might feel like the end of the world, but they're going to be okay.
A lot of us forget that.
We get paralyzed in the moment.
We think, dude, I'm living at home with my parents.
Everyone's out in college, having fun.
Dude, it seems like everyone has an epic life except for me.
It's all perspective.
You have to trust yourself.
You have to trust that what you're doing is going to amount to something.
That's easier said than done.
It always is easier said than done.
One thing I've learned to trust myself with is who I spend my time around.
You only have a finite amount of time.
You do.
no matter what you believe in.
You're only around for X amount of years.
And that's why all these sayings exist.
Mementamori.
Yolo, right?
They exist because
we don't get
unlimited data in a form of life.
That's not a thing.
Who I'm around matters to me.
I want to be around an old head
that grew up
in South Texas that probably has some very interesting opinions.
I want to be around someone who immigrated from halfway across the country and is now living in a remote island somewhere.
I want to talk to somebody who has done the most outlandish expeditions in the mountains of Switzerland.
I love stories. I crave learning new things.
and so
I trust myself
with the idea
of surrounding myself
with these people
I do it on a
on a small scale
I always try to talk
to older people
when I see them
I always try to ask questions
try to ask questions
about them
do I get a conversation
with each and every single one
no not at all
but today when I was
in a Puerto Ranzas
I saw this lady
she had a necklace
that said Nana on it
and I asked her
I'm like
are you a
grandmother and she said I'm a great grandmother proceeded to tell me about how she never wanted to be called
nana because she never wanted to think of becoming that old like becoming a grandmother but we shared a little
small conversation about it and I mentioned a like you know I miss my grandmother they're very very
small interactions but I trust that if that interaction wasn't meant to be if I wasn't meant to get a connection
learn more about somebody, that's okay, because somebody else out there will be.
If the person that you tried to cuff in this summer fling season didn't work out,
do you trust the fact that there's probably something better?
Do you trust that after getting dumped in your car, driving home in silence,
putting on your headphones and listening to some sad tunes,
you're going to be okay?
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Love the way.
Acknowledge it.
Tell yourself you trust yourself.
And that, yeah, I feel sad.
And yeah, this sucks.
But I'm going to be good.
I'm going to be okay.
Because what's the alternative?
You tell yourself that, no, I'm kind of.
cooked and everything's bad. I mean, you can do that. That's something you could do, but that's not
going to bring you anything. It's only going to deepen the hole. And oftentimes, we think the
hole is a lot deeper than it actually is. It's honestly pretty shallow. Trust is a two-way street.
If you don't extend a bridge, extend an arm to yourself and give yourself a reason to trust,
you're not going to get any back. You won't see the evidence to actually back that up. So trust
yourself more. You want to go travel somewhere on your own, but it scares you. Of course it would.
Trust yourself. What are the things you can do that are in your control that can make it a little
bit more easier on your mind that can feel like, all right, I got this. Can you plan things ahead?
Can you talk to somebody who's done it before? Can you just give it a shot and recognize that it
might not be what you want it to be and that's okay. That's the most important thing. Giving yourself
a platform where you can fail. And it's not that deep. In the same vein as you are going to be naive
and you are going to trust people who do you wrong. And that's okay. It's okay if you learn.
And if you don't, if it takes a couple tries, that's okay too. We're too hard on ourselves.
We're too worried about how we're going to be perceived by somebody who sees that we were cheated on
and we had no idea. Life is life.
If somebody wants to cheat on you, they will.
That's the truth.
At some point you got to let go of this fear and you got to recognize, you know what, I take
accountability for what happens, even if, like, I didn't see it coming, completely like
RKO from nowhere.
It's okay.
I accept it.
I'm going to move forward.
We're going to be chilling.
Zerky Show.
Trust is a two-way street.
Remember that.
And if somebody is not giving you that entrance, they're kind of a little bit odd.
in certain aspects.
They're deciding to go to a party last minute or, oh, I'm sorry, I can't call tonight.
I'm busy.
Even though you can see they're on their phone and they're active, you know, go with your gut,
address it, and just ask yourself, do you trust them?
And if you don't, just be careful.
Today's episode of The Zerky Show was filmed in Corpus Christi on the beach here off the Gulf.
Beautiful. Just had a really nice sunset. Man, if you live near a beach, tap in. If you're near Corpus Christi, come visit.
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Do the things that bring you joy if you want to try something new. Again, try something new. You know the drill.
And Zirky Show, if you ever have the chance to go and see a sunset, go and see a sunset.
It is truly beautiful.
And as always, if you're trying something new, just know I believe in you.
And Zerky Show, I am sending you lots of love and peace.
