the zurkie show - why do you want to be rich?

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

it's a dilemma we all face.we want money because it will "make us happy" and then we nearly destroy ourselves to obtain it.maybe our relationship with money and status signaling is the problem? or maybe I need to put down my Rick Rubin book...the truth is, there is no real answer. it's only what matters more to us. you decide.sending you all love and peaaaaaaaaace!https://stan.store/thezurkieshow

We're told all the time, sacrifice your 20s so you can enjoy your 30s, sacrifice your 30s so you can enjoy your 40s, sacrifice your 40s so you can enjoy your 50s, and then what? And then what? You probably want to be rich. You probably want to have a lot of money. That's probably something that you deep down know would solve a lot of your problems because we have always been taught that money is success and money is something good. and money is status. Growing up, maybe there was a group of kids that were from the affluent part of town.

Maybe they grew up in Inverness, and you grew up in Palatine, and you realized that, dang, I would love to have 40 pairs of Jordans that came out every single week. I would love that. I would love to get a hoverboard during Christmas. That would be great.

And so, as you went through the rest of high school, and you know, you would ask your parents, hey, could I get, you know, some Lulu Lemon pants, some leggings, some ABC pants? And they would say, what, do we look like we have a money? Are you crazy? You instilled it in your brain that you needed to make a lot of money. That was a expectation that was put on you because that made you feel inadequate growing up. why why am i speaking as if this was me because it was me it was me i always knew when somebody i grew up

with had money and i was envious until i started to work for things myself and i started to put time and effort into things myself and i started to meet people who were very successful who had a lot of money. Different kinds of successful, too. Sometimes they worked their boondah off to get it. Other times, they had a family member who got a lot of money, and then they, you know, passed it down a few generations. It's interesting. All of them still have problems. All of them still have stress. All of them are still worried about a lot of the same human things that we worry about, not having enough money. That's a very privileged place to be in, right? Like, let's be completely real. There's a good chance you have a desire of wanting to be rich. It's the American dream. You want to make a lot

of money. You want to be successful. Whether that is because you didn't have it growing up, whether that is because you're a first-gen kid and you, you know, your parents sacrificed everything and you feel indebted to them and you want to retire them. Or it's because everyone around you is doing good, so you feel like that's the standard. And maybe right now, you are grinding like an animal in a cage because you want to get to a position where you will have a lot of money and you will be using that money to patch up the holes and the insecurities of your childhood, of your adolescence where you didn't feel as worthy because you didn't have it.

And that's good. I'm glad that you have this motivation. I'm glad that when you wake up in the morning, all you can smell is green, green dollar dollar bills, y'all. I love that. Good for you. But what about now? What about right now?

Because what I said earlier, right? Let's rewind. A lot of those people who have wealth still stress and have the same problems that some of us have right now. It makes you wonder if obtaining all of that wealth will actually fill your bucket of happiness, will actually make you feel content in your life. Because I think that, you know, we hear this cliche of money doesn't bring you happiness. Well, when you can't eat something, you have money to buy food. It does bring you a lot of happiness.

It takes care of your needs. But there is something very, very true about. the fact that money cannot just gift you happiness if you don't know how to be happy right now. You won't be able to appreciate success in the way that you think you will be able to if you are upset right now. Because money will take care of your needs and that's great. You'll have a place to live. You'll have a place to eat, you know, a place to eat. Hopefully not chilies because maybe by the time, you know, in the future where you, when you get that money, it'll be 20-50, and instead of it being $60 at Chili's, it will be $600 at Chili's.

But will you be happy? Because a lot of us already have our needs met. Sure, maybe it's not in a luxurious way. Maybe we're not going to Irwan to get the Haley Bieber shake. And instead, we go to Jamba Juice. but we still get our shake and we still wake up with all of our limbs and we still get to

you know chill and watch funny memes online oh we get to do that every day we get to reference friggin packet and we get to listen to I don't know some fire ambient soundtrack while we play Minecraft you know we still get to indulge

in things that make us happy and I just don't know why we think that this external thing will make us happy. Maybe it's because we've kind of been coerced into it. Maybe we've been shown luxury and that's kind of the thing that a lot of people aspire to have. And I'm one of those people, bro. Like you think when I see a Maybach, I'm not like, I want one immediately. Of course. But then I remind myself, what would I do with a Maybach? What? Have it sit in my living room? If I could spend that kind of money, I'd rather rather do an experience. I'd rather rent out a Chili's for people. That would be an insane flex.

Imagine you pull up to a Chili's and it's been rented out by the Zerky Show. We're going to make that happen one day. I would love to make that happen. But what about now? Because so many of us lose track of the fact that we are grinding and we are sacrificing our social life. We are sacrificing potentially being with somebody because we want to focus on being an entrepreneur, or being a grinder, being a business owner. And it's driving us literally insane. We rack up debt in med school, and then we become a doctor and realize, I hate this.

I hate everything about this, and I'm unhappy, and I feel like such a failure. Why are we letting ourselves do that? We think that finding somebody who will pass the time as a potential partner that will make us so happy in the same way that money will make us happy. And when we get there, we feel even more empty than we were before. We feel like we get used thrown to the side. And we were so convinced that this person was the solution to our problems.

But what about now? What about right now? Because I don't think people have learned how to tap in to being happy with what they have. And it's a difficult thing because all the time you are reminded of everything you don't have. You don't have a baby Birkin, do you? You don't have a lubiton slippers, do you? Or heels, right? The red bottoms? You don't have the red bottoms, do you? You don't have a black Mercedes, do you? No. But maybe you do have a notebook that you get to write in every day, that you get to put ideas into. And maybe you have some good friends around you that care about you.

And they're rooting for you and they want you to do super well. And they take care of you when things are rough because life gets hard. And sometimes, you know, you get left on delivered on Snapchat and you need a bro to be like, bro. Don't worry about it. Rose in lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play Ojo,

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Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via rail, love the way. We focus so much on the life that we want. We forget to live the one that we have. And we forget to find the beauty in the one that we have.

When I moved away from Chicago, I remember telling myself I would never come back that I, hated where I grew up and I had tied so many traumatic experiences back to my hometown because, you know, honestly, because of wanting to just run away from the problem and not address the fact that I let it happen to me. Ooh, it's cringe to say that, but it's so true. It's so true. And when I dealt with those problems in a new place, it was great. But when I came back, I realized how beautiful the place that I grew up in is. I realized how much I missed the people that I spent my childhood with and what they meant to me.

There was this idea that I needed to seek more all the time, that more is better. When I just asked, like, well, what about right now? Like, what do I have right now that I can be thankful for, that I can be grateful for? And the answer was so much. So much. and I'm able to act in the present in ways that can build my future in real time. We make these goals of like, I want to have this life. I want to have a McMansion.

I want to live in Inverness with a Mick Mansion, a dog, a husband, a wife, a partner, whatever. I want to have X amount of kids and that will make me happy. And I will have a CEO job, my own company. That will make me happy. We put this kind of image in our mind and then we, We do nothing in the present to get there because chances are that's not really what we want. That's not what we want. And maybe we drill it so deep into our conscious mind that we start acting in a way to get those things every single day.

But it's not coming from a genuine place. And in fact, it is coming of a place that's rooted in just a lack of self-worth. We feel like we need these things to be worthy, not even to our own sense. but to other people because we know what we want maybe some of us don't but we have an idea of what makes us feel good and we have an idea of the person that we want to be but why do we feel like we need to always put that pressure on our future selves what why is that why do we feel like we need we need it in the future why can't we just use the constraints of what we have right now to at least get a little bit closer to it.

I don't know. I was having a conversation the other night, a really good conversation with a new friend, and they were telling me about how they felt as if they had to really distance themselves socially from people in their lives because they wanted to focus on themselves in terms of their career aspirations and it was very important to them and I thought that that was great but their vision of what they wanted in their life didn't align with that in my opinion it felt as if it was something they had been told to do because we're told all the time sacrifice your 20s so you can enjoy your 30s sacrifice your 30s so you can enjoy your 40s sacrifice your 40s so you can enjoy your

50s and then and then what and then what I'm not saying saying you shouldn't do things right now for your future. Quite the opposite. You should definitely be conscious of the decisions that you make right now because they will impact your future. Every small decision does now. Like what can you do now that would bring you joy? Well, it would be good if I had some extra money in my bank account.

Okay, what can you do now to make some extra money? Well, I'd have to like mow lawns. Okay, mow the lawns. but then I need the equipment to mow the lawns. How can you find the equipment to mow the lawns? I have a friend who I could rent it from. Rent it from the friend. I'm just afraid of you wishing the rest of your life.

Wishing that you will have a chance. Wishing that something will happen to you. Wishing that a person will come into your life and be perfect. Wishing that, oh, you'll get a golden opportunity and you will get into the school that you want. to go to wishing that you'll be happy because I don't think it works that way. I'm convinced that that is not how this works. I'm convinced that you really have to champion what you have right now every single day and you got to build on top of that because if you don't have a good foundation,

how do you expect to be happy when you have everything? How? If you can't have fun right now, How do you expect to have fun in the future? There's so much beauty in this struggle of trying to figure yourself out, right? As a young adult, there's so much beauty in this, you know, fear that is going through life as a young person. There is so much beauty in this. And we are getting these ideas drilled into our minds that, well, don't even, don't even attempt that. Like, you have to lock it down. You have to play it safe.

Why? Why? Oh, well, I want to be a lawyer and I can't date in law school because I got to be locked in. Why? Why can't you do that right now? Why can't you do both? Well, I just won't have the time. But what if you found somebody who was worth the time? Oh, I mean, when you put it that way, I guess, but I would still, I would probably have to say no. Why, though? Why not? I'd be afraid of, I'd be afraid of, of it failing. That's really the root of a lot, right? It's this idea that we won't, we won't be able to achieve it in our lifetimes. And we almost are afraid to start pursuing our lives with a certain level of urgency because it's,

it's where you realize how far away you are from your goal. Because when you ask, okay, What about now? And you realize the mountain that you got to climb is not the one that you thought it was, right? You thought it was a little bit lower. It's actually this one. That's what it looks like.

It's not comfortable. It's not. Because you realize you have to make changes to your day-to-day life. And wishing is a lot easier than changing. It is so easy to just be like, one day, bro. Yeah, one day. Oh, we go make it out the group chat. trust trust the the europe trip is going to make it out the group chat it is difficult to book flights

book places to go book hostels have an itinerary that takes dedication that takes time that takes thinking and now in the terms of now and maybe you're in a place where you feel like you are making strides to being the person that you want to be you feel like you are on that path and that journey of genuinely being you and being comfortable with being you. And that's a beautiful thing. But maybe still you are holding on to these ideas that you are not good enough right now. Right? I hold on to those ideas sometimes.

But the difference is I try to find the things that I like about myself right now and champion them. Because every time I beat myself down, I just keep falling down the hole. I keep rolling down the hole. I'd rather at least push the boulder up. It's a harder push, but who knows? The longer I push it up the hill, maybe it'll get a little bit easier, and maybe I'll be like, oh, this isn't that bad, and who knows? Maybe there'll be a part of the mountain that goes a little bit downhill, and it'll be easy.

I have the momentum of pushing it up. It'll roll down, and then I'll start to feel really, really good about myself. And who knows? I might hit another mountain that's even higher, and I've got to start pushing again. but so many of us spiral into this deep dissatisfaction with ourselves and the way that we are because we are wishing that we were somebody else because we were wishing that we had money and that we had somebody that loved us when we don't even love ourselves we don't even have the respect for ourselves we have just deprived ourselves from anything because we're thinking

in future zirky terms you're thinking in future you terms right but what about now let's say you have started to sail pretty smoothly. You feel like you are doing well in college. You have a good social circle. You're feeling like, who knows, maybe you graduated college and you're in your professional life. You're in your professional girly era. And I love that for you. I'm rooting for you. That's dope. Shout out. But there are things in the back of your mind that are making you feel as if there is more for you to do. And there are things that are weighing on you because you see it in your friends' lives. They have a partner. They're getting married. They have a kid. That's crazy. They are achieving some kind of position at a job that makes four times what you're making.

In college terms, maybe you have friends that are joining high-level clubs. They're becoming presidents of organizations. And you are realizing, dang, I feel inadequate with the type the things I've done in the past and like right now I also feel like I'm not doing enough. It's good to be honest that you feel that way. It's good to be real, right, about the fact that that's how you feel. Even with the money, you feel like you want to make money and you want to build some kind of wealth for yourself. We judge it because it sounds corny, but we think about it. Everyone thinks about it. Be honest with yourself then.

That's all I'm asking. Is be honest with yourself. Don't deprive yourself of it because your friend group is going to think you're cringe for it. Who cares? It doesn't matter what they think. It's your life. Your friends are not deciding your life for you. But what about now?

We've got that out of the way. What about now? Because you can keep wishing for it and you can keep thinking, oh man, well, you know, Jack is doing all these things. And yeah, I want to, it would be really cool to be more. involved on my campus. Oh, it would be, yeah, Jeffrey is, is, is having this incredible raise at work. Oh, I'd be incredible. If I could be in those shoes, you got to do something about it. You have to. Because the urgency is going to pass and you will get comfortable. And I think it is

harder to bounce back from that kind of feeling of just being comfortable. Because it's chill, because it's awesome. Like being comfortable is, like being comfortable is, Like a top 10, probably top five, human feeling. Honestly, it's probably one. Like when you're comfortable, bro, I feel like it's like the best thing ever. Like, you know, you're chilling on the couch. You're watching, I don't know. Severance, which I haven't even watched yet,

but I'm imagining it's good because that's all I see on this app is severance edits. Shout out severance one time. And, you know, you're eating some mac and cheese that you made with protein pasta. because I used to do that. Dude, honestly, if you're going to make mac and cheese, just make the mac and cheese, you know, I don't know. I used to make protein mac and cheese, and I'll probably tap in once again, you know,

like the cottage cheese, you know what I'm talking about? But it's like, at one point I was like, why am I doing this? Why don't I just eat the normal mac and cheese? Like, whatever, you know what I'm saying? I can eat it once, you know, once in a blue moon. Oh, my God. This episode is brought to you by Tellus Online Security.

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reverse it. But when you're comfortable, it's hard to bounce out of it and it's hard to start the ball rolling again. And I think when you have a little bit of insecurity and a little bit of this kind of pressure, it is good to reflect on that pressure and put your energy into something that will move that pressure into momentum. Because I definitely felt that when I moved to Austin and I was on my own for the first time because the bills started to pull up to the crib in the mailbox. And I would be like, what?

I have to pay money for bills. This isn't like free. I don't get to live here for free like a dorm room. You know, it was kind of a little bit scary. And that immediately kind of kicked me into gear of like, okay, I, you know, I need to figure out how I'm going to sustain myself and how I'm going to live. But also, like, I need to, I need to find a good rhythm where I feel happy. I feel sustained. and I feel like I'm working towards something because if I don't do that, every day will just be a grind

and I will give this money up at the end of the month, right, for my rent, and I just won't feel fulfilled. So I need to do things for myself that will bring me some kind of happiness. I have to set some money aside, you know, for gas so I can go drive somewhere nice in nature and just post up and chill. I have to find ways in which I can reward myself as a human being for my hard work that I do. Because yes, I can have this idea of grind set and saving every penny and that's great. And, you know, maybe I'll be able to buy something that I want quicker. But if I get to that point and I'm not going to be happy and I'm going to just be upset at myself, I'm going to be regretful at the fact that I did not take any breaks,

that I did not take any time for myself, that I didn't even respect myself enough at that time to just give myself a shot to relax and be myself and do something for myself, then what is the point of it? Like, what is the point of it? Well, the point is that you're going to be able to go to Turks and Caicos,

and then I'm going to be stressed the whole time. Because I'm going to be like, oh my gosh, I will get in the habit of not being grateful for what I have, so I won't even be able to enjoy it. I won't. I've seen it in real time.

I have family members that go on vacation they can't enjoy themselves because they're thinking about oh well i mean i need to grind and you be working it was because the sacrifice was so so important to them and that's great but they did not know how to enjoy the journey and the truth is that that is the one thing we have to learn to do is we have to enjoy life because i think a lot of us are suffering through this and i understand why because there are so many parts of our human experience now especially current day that just like feel like such a drain finding a partner oh right dating apps yeah okay that will that will make you feel as if you are invisible i think i remember once i went on hinge

and i had like after like three days of using the app i had like one like and i was like wow i must be ugly I don't know if y'all have experienced the same thing. Maybe y'all are, you know, killing it on the apps. I just have never had luck with that. And the dates I have gone on from the apps. Surprisingly, not the $60 Chili's one. That was an IRA happened because it happened, you know. And I'm very grateful for it.

But all of the other ones, like, that I went on, they were all questionable. Like, I don't know. But some people have really met like they're, you know, they're bay on Hinge and on Tinder and all that. So good for them. I'm learning to be more content with what I have now. I'm learning to be very, very happy with the type of things that I do in my day to day. And that's not to say that I don't want a challenge and I don't want to struggle. Bring it on. They say more money, more problems. Bring on the problems. Bring on the problems. Bring on the the problems, you get me?

But I want to have fun while I live. I want to enjoy it. I want to be able to laugh with my friends. I want to be able to feel as if I have autonomy over the mindset and the way that I approach my lifestyle and the things that I choose to do. I want to feel as if there is an importance to waking up every single day. and I know that I have to craft that for myself. No one's going to build that for me.

And as much as I want to sacrifice, you know, my current time to grind, it's more about listening to myself and realizing the things that do make me happy and figuring out how I can do those every single day and sustain myself from it. So Zerky Show, if you are feeling ambitious, if you are feeling like you want to make some schmoney, I love that. I'm happy for you. But what about now? Because the future is a mystery, right?

The present is the gift on some Kung Fu Panda, but it's, it is so important that we realize time right now because this day, the way in which you spent it, you will only get once in your life. It is gone. Probably by the time this is over, it is gone. The day is done.

You get me? So use it. Use it. Zirky Show. Did you know that the Zirky Show is everywhere you go? What? Yes, that is true. You can watch it, you can scroll it, you can stream it.

The choice is yours, so if you want to tap in, tap in. Who's calling my phone? The Zerky Show is calling your phone because we want people to be a part of the new Zirky Show show, which is Mail Time with Zirky. If you want to send in a question for a chance to be featured, this is how to address it. I would love to see what you come up with, with your beautiful mind. do the things that bring you joy make sure you spend your time wisely try something new for yourself and if you need somebody to believe in you to do it i believe in you go out try it fail succeed it doesn't

matter just give it a shot at the end of the day i want you to know things will be okay they might be rough right now you might be figuring things out and reflecting a lot on who you are and who you will be but just take it a step at a time zirky show that is how you make the most progress a step at a time. I am sending you a lot of love and peace, but first I want to say, how beautiful is this? I'm in the hills near Los Angeles, near Topanga Canyon, if you know where that is. And in Polish, we say, posdrovina, so I'm saying, posdravenia and sending you lots of love. And peace!