the zurkie show - why should you be optimistic when everything sucks

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

life is suffering.so if we're going to go through hardships regardless, maybe it's worth giving ourselves grace.in my life, I've found the most peace when I consciously decide to look into the positive side of the challenges I face. it isn't easy, but it makes things just that much more better.maybe optimism drives you nuts, but don't knock it until you've given it a fair shot.sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!⁠https://stan.store/thezurkieshow⁠

There's nothing more infuriating than somebody telling you to cheer up when everything is just going wrong. Everything. You have done everything in your power to do something right. And still, everything is deciding to be against you. And it's funny because I find myself in a very similar situation right now. And I'm not going to, I'm going to keep it a buck. It's hard to be optimistic when things look bad. It's so hard.

and I think that sometimes we conflate being, you know, optimistic with being just like blindly optimistic when really things are, things aren't not good. They're not good and we have to be honest with ourselves. But without fail, every time that I have looked at the positives, even in the trenches, if you will, I've been able to stomach the pain, I've been able to go through the things. way easier. Was it still hard? Yes, but it was easier than if I bogged down the negatives, because at a certain point, you just can't control anything anymore. You have done everything. You have, you have given your order to the server, and now you are waiting as they bring out somebody else's

food and they walk by your table. And you're like, brough. Dang it! I wanted my triple dipper chilies. Why did you have to serve them first? When it comes to a little bit, positive mindset in life you need to ask yourself does it help you that's what you need to ask yourself this is the important thing because let's be so for real some people won't be positive they won't it's just not them at least they don't believe it's them some people will always be complaining about everything everything is a problem all the time there's no fixing i am the victim look at me look at me look at me And I mean, with that kind of person, there's only so much you can do. You can only point so many times and be like, you're the problem.

At some point, you have to let it go. And I don't think that maybe optimism is for everybody. Anyone can use it. Everyone can be optimistic, but maybe you being optimistic, it just doesn't. It's not for you. You don't feel like it's helping you, and that's okay. But all I ask is that you. you try it, whether that be for an hour, a day, a year.

What would it look like if you just took the positives and you weighed them as stronger and heavier than the negatives? Because oftentimes we give the negatives a lot of weight. And let's be so for real, right? Like if your family member is in the hospital and it's not looking too pretty, what are the positives in that? Not many. And maybe that's okay. Maybe the fact that, you know, their health is compromised and there's a good chance that you might have to say goodbye to them soon.

Maybe it's just that time in your life. And it will affect everything else in your day. It's not like you can forget about it. Forget about it. No, it's not how this works. You'll feel sad. You'll feel hopeless. You'll feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest and you don't know what to do.

It's like, it's hard. Not to mention, I mean, now we are in a position where there's just a lot going on that is really concerning. It's concerning everyone. It's like no matter what it is. what is going on? Nobody knows what is going on, bro. But the one thing we do know is that we can at least reflect and be honest with ourselves.

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is that you experience turmoil in the same week that you experience immense joy. You can't have bliss all the time. It's not how it works. But you can choose to shape your environment based on how you perceive it and what you see. Because if you are going to spend your entire life being negative and just looking at everything that is wrong, you will only see the wrong in this world. And there is a lot. There is a lot of it.

There is a lot of bad things in this world. But there's also a lot of good. And it really comes down to how you're going to perceive things and how you're going to reflect on the challenges that are being thrown at you because you can crumble. You can. No cookie. No sugar cookie that has four million calories.

No, you're going to crumble. And I don't know about you, but like, For me, it does not help that I'm negative. It just does, it does not. I am a realist. I, you know, I know when somebody is cap and they're like, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. No, you won't. Yeah, I'll change.

No, you won't. And that's fine. I don't take it personally. Because I know myself, I know that I'm that way too. I'm not perfect. I've promised so many people in my life. Yeah, I'm going to change for you. And I never do.

I never do. The change only comes if I, I want to see it. If I feel like it's impacting other people and me, me, it affects me because of that, then I will change. But sometimes we just need to suffer. You need to really reflect on the relationship you have with yourself and you need to ask if it's helping you. Because for majority of my life, the relationship that I had with myself was harming me all the time, all the time, mentally, bogging me. down, slowing me down, making me feel like I am less than other people because of the way that I am, because I cannot replicate the way that they are, because they are different than me. But instead, I viewed it as I'm the problem. I'm such a problem, even though I was doing just fine. And there was, there's only so many comments that my internal critic can make of me that

says, you're such a loser and you're so fat and you're so ugly till I'm like, shut up. Like, smosh. Shut up! It's over. So what? So what? You think I'm ugly, inner critic? I don't care. I don't care.

I'm not. I don't have to be pretty. I can just be. I can just be. That shift in my mindset, it helps me. It helps me tremendously. The Volkswagen Atlas is a 7C powerhouse

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Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. Because I do not focus on how other people look like. I admire when I see somebody running. They got a six-pack. It's like, dang, he worked for that.

I know he worked for it. You know, he was watching Raw Dog Run Club inspirational videos and David Goggins' motivational compilations on YouTube, and he was just grinding and respect. But it doesn't make me feel insecure anymore because I know that I am me. I'm being me at the moment. And if at the moment I want to have a Cubano,

you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to have a Cubano sandwich. And I'm not really going to care. and that's a decision that I make but if deep down I'm like I want to get healthier I want to eat better and I want to look better for me then I will do it and I will work with myself and figure out what helps me what doesn't help me is running super consistently funny enough I need a goal I was the most motivated and the most in shape when I was trying to get selected on the varsity soccer team at my high school, Palatine High School.

Shout out. Shout out the northwest suburbs of Chicago one time. Come on. Can we get a shout out? And the summer that I was supposed to train to potentially make it as a sophomore on varsity, I went to Poland and I remember I was like, okay, I'm on vacation, but this cannot define how my body is going to look. I want to make varsity.

I'm going to train like an animal. And I ran every single day. I ran every single day. on vacation. I never skipped a day. I had a rest day once or twice. But I had that goal of like, I'm going to get better and I'm going to make this thing. And I see that if I don't have any kind of fitness goal, I just kind of, I just go through the motions. I'm not pushing myself. It doesn't help me. What does help me is some kind of goal and something that I'm like, okay, I am going after this, but I'm going to build my lifestyle around this goal because I want to

obtain it. So now I'm kind of trying to figure out what that goal is. It might be a marathon. It might be a half marathon. It might be a 5K. Who cares? The main thing is that I do something. I have something I can look forward to that helps me. That helps me.

We're so quick to disregard any kind of investments in ourselves. None. You want to learn a language, but it's like thinking about purchasing a tutor is like, oh, my, no, I would never do that. That's, that's, that's, that's a lot. And at some point you need to ask, is that, is it going to help you? Obviously, you know, do you have the funds for it? Because a lot of us don't got the funds right now.

And that's okay. But if you, if you think it would help you, then I feel like it's your job to do it. If your, if your soul is like being lit on fire by this thing and you're just being like, no, I'm not going to, I'm not even going to acknowledge this. I'm not going to give this time. You want to learn. how to do glass blowing but you're like no whatever I'm too tired it's like would it help you would it re-energize you probably because what happens is even when I'm tired you know I love being around people I go around people I'm like hey what up how's the kids how are you

doing we're so quick to help other people we rarely help ourselves we rarely ask if something will help us and benefit us. Why? Why can't we do both? And it starts with the mindset, man. That's really where it starts. It's like if right now you being a perfectionist is inhibiting you from making the thing that you want to make, why are you keeping the perfectionist mindset? Why? It doesn't help you. It doesn't help you. It's the same as, like you thrift like a cool jacket at goodwill and then it sits in your closet and it's like no i don't want to get rid of it because i thrifted it and i'm going to make i'm going to oh i'm going to sew something onto it no you're not you're never going to sew anything onto it

you're never going to get it altered it's done it's just going to sit in your closet and you are going to donate it again so just stop lying to yourself and go donate it just go give it to somebody who will use it we hold on to so much and we're so closed off to changing to at least just entertaining the idea that it could be different that's all that is all i actually is that you think what would it look like? Re-evaluation is so important in your life. It is so important to who you are. You need to take notes on yourself, man.

You need to just keep tabs on yourself. Because you are changing. You're always doing new things. And if you are not happy with the output, you need to look at the input, what you consume. I've been trying to say this is so important. It's immensely important.

Now, do I mean you cut out the brain rot? No. It's the same thing as you can go to McDonald's and get a fillet of fish or a Big Mac once in a while. Who cares? But if all you're consuming is negativity, are you really surprised that you are just in this constant state of being upset and aggravated? because there's so much to be aggravated by. And it is a privilege.

It is a privilege to be like, no, I'm going to choose not to. I'm going to choose not to pick any sides and have it not affect me. It's a privilege, sure, because some people, they have no choice. They have no choice, and I recognize that. Ask yourself, does it help? Does it help you? And this is tricky because what might help you might be tone deaf to other people. but at the same time like everything is nuanced every person's life is nuanced and you need to

you got to be respectful of other people you got to see other perspectives and sometimes you know you'll learn from other people that your actions actually are affecting them way more than you think and that's why you need to have an open mind but i'm mainly trying to say that if you are just unhappy and you feel bogged down by everything and you're going through a tough time in your and it feels like there's just nothing there's nothing for you look into look into how you're viewing things just just just look into it i can be wrong my opinion can be absolutely wrong it can you know what probably maybe for you i i this is this is not not gonna help that's okay i accept that but just try it just try it just try it

small things it starts with the small things it's small things taking care of yourself making sure your teeth are clean and brushed because i be when when i am starting down the negative spiral i'd stop brushing my teeth i just stop it's gross i don't like it i don't like the fact that i don't clean my teeth and my breath stank like heck no i don't like that so i catch that and i'm like okay i need to focus on this a little bit extra today. For me, another thing is just like complaining, you know, and mentally just complaining all the time and being in this thought loop. I try to journal things out. I try to write things out

if I'm really frustrated or record a voice memo. Just get it out of your system. And oftentimes you'll look back on what you came out with and you'll be like, dang. Like, yeah, there's some things that I'm not in control of here, but I should have known that X, Y, and Z were going to be prevalent. I should have at least asked and like understood what my responsibilities were for my job or you know for school, you know, how long something was going to take to study for. Why? Because I studied, you know. In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour. Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free

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Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. But we rarely do that. And instead it's a, it's a finger pointing battle. It is. And it's also valid. Like, yeah, other people will try to meddle with your life and try to mess with your life. It happens every day, every day.

Other people will try to get under your skin. People make decisions for you that have no interest in you. as a person, as a human being, just because, and I don't know. I think times will not be easy. They aren't right now, and I don't think it's, it's, I don't know. I don't know. And you know what? I'm not going to lie.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows. It could be bad. It could be good. Like, nobody knows, and that's a good thing. That's a constant of life is that you don't know. You just don't. So in the moment you just need to ask yourself, is what you're doing right now, is it helping?

Are the people that are around you? Are they supporting you? Are they building you up as a human being? Or are they tearing you down and making you feel like you're a loser, an idiot, a dummy? Are they making you crash out every day? Does living at home help you? Is that good for you right now? Does it help you financially?

Yes. Do you feel like you're being held hostage? Yes. Okay. Can you work on it in some way? Can you figure out a good balance? Can you set boundaries? No?

Okay. What's your next step? How do you get out of the situation? How do you move? How do you keep going so you limit the amount of suffering to the things that you can endure? Because some stuff we just can't endure. We just can't. They're not good for us.

And we can try to stay. We can try to change things. And we can all, but no, no, they're actually a good person. Like, no, they really love me. No, they don't. No, they don't. they don't love you wait they don't love you like i love you wait they don't love you like i love you so does it help staying with them does it help being in this in the city that you wanted to move to

it was your dream and now you're realizing i miss my family i want to go home does your does your sleep schedule help you does staying up super late help you i don't know if it does maybe it does maybe you feel more creative. Maybe you feel more locked in. Maybe you got a long distance girlfriend and, you know, when it's, it's day for you, it's night for her. And when it's day for her, it's night for you. Don't be so quick to denounce positivity. Don't be so quick to think that it's all woo-woo. It's all, it's all, it's all, it's not worth anything. Don't be falsely optimistic. It's dangerous. You need to understand that There is a line. And sometimes it's good to be delusional in the way that you dream.

It's good to have big aspirations. But if you do not act in the now, none of it. None of it will come. None of it. So you need to also be as present in your current life, in the way that you are right now, in the way that things are right now, because your future self isn't going to magically figure it out.

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Via Rail, love the way. It will be the result of the decisions that you make every single day for the rest of your life. That's really what it will be. And even if you do everything right, things will go wrong. They will. I promise you because I think I'm doing majority right and things still go wrong

and that's fine because that's life bro that's life life life nah nah no no no but if you can help yourself

if you can give yourself some slack if you can do something good for yourself that will bring your morale up if you can go on a day with somebody because why not? Why not? It's good for the soul. My friend Dylan, I remember he once pulled me aside after I was like, dude, I do not want to go on the $60 Chili's date. And he said, you know what, Zerk, you should go. Why? Dylan. And he said,

you know what? Because even if nothing happens from this and you don't like this person, you will be happy that you went and you will be happy that you you practiced it you went out you talked to somebody you got to know somebody semi-intimately it's cool it's good for the soul and i thought to myself and i'm like would this date help me does it help you yeah it does it does because at the very least if things go wrong which they did will know. I will know. Two things. One, what I like and what I don't like in a partner. And two, that Chili's dates are 60 bucks. I will forever know that now because of that, because it was good for the soul. And now I can share that with you, Zirky Show. Does it help you? I don't know.

That's a question you got to ask. And you have to be very honest with. yourself about. Did you know that the Zirky Show is everywhere you go? What? That is correct. You can watch it. You can scroll it. You can stream it. Whenever you like, we got you covered. It's the Zirky Show everywhere you go. If you want to tap in, tap in. Mail Time with Zirky, Episode 1 is coming very, very soon. If you want to still be a part of it in some kind of way, this is the address to send your question, your drawing, whatever you have. Two, I cannot wait to see what your beautiful mind comes up with. And thank you so much for the patience

and everything that's been sent so far. I've gotten some really crazy things, but I'm really excited to unbox all of it and show you guys and answer some cool questions. Love you, thank you. Do the things that bring you joy, try something new if you haven't already, and just be patient with yourself.

Things take time. They don't happen overnight. I wish they did, but that's not how this works. And trust me, I've played these games before. Zirky Show, I trust you, I believe in you. And as always, I am sending you lots of love and peace.