the zurkie show - why some relationships feel wrong

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

no matter what you might tell yourself, if you don't like them, it won't work. give yourself grace, find someone who loves you for you. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Do I even like this person? There's a question not a lot of us ask. Usually, in my personal life, when I've had someone give me attention, immediately I like them. I'm like, wait a minute. This person is validating me, this person is giving me attention, even though they're kind of rotten from the inside, but they like me.

It must mean I should date them. But it isn't until we go on a few dates. It isn't until we actually begin to see the cracks of the facade that we realize something about them and about ourselves. You don't like them. Don't like them. And that is a weird thought to have. Because it is a guilty one. It is a guilty one after you go on a date to Chili's for $60 to realize.

I don't like this person. They are not very awesome to me. They might be beautiful to somebody else, but to me, I don't like them. But that isn't a wrong thought to have. It isn't a bad thought to have. What if I told you that you realizing that you don't like them actually will save you so much time.

It will save you so much energy. I see it a lot with dating. Some people will go on a second, third, fourth, fifth date, even though they already know. They don't like them. Well, but maybe they're going to be different. Nope. Chances are they're not going to be very different. You can always give a second chance.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't go on a second date or a third date. if you like your date and you like the time you spent together uh you should do like more of those but if you go on the first date the second date you hang out with them and i'm like you just get this feeling you know that we're feeling i'm talking about this like uncomfortability that just tenses your body and you're like oh that's cringe why did you just say that i did not need to hear that or if they start talking about their ex that they haven't gotten over. Why are we still doing that? Why are we still talking about our exes?

If you're going on a date, leave your ex at home. It's over. You're going on a date for a reason. It's a new date with a new person. Yeah, you know, but my ex was like really important and like, no! Shut up! This person, that's who you're focused on. Because you can tell you.

tell very quickly when someone isn't over their ex and it's just like a waste of time. And if someone isn't over their ex, you don't like them. I'll save the thought for you. You don't like them because they're not over their ex. And their ex is going to come back knocking. Hello, I'm back. Oh, my ex is single again. Brough.

You don't like them. What do you do? If you know you don't like them, you got to break it. to them that you don't like them. You have to be honest. You have to tell them, no. Would you like to go on another date with me? No. Why? Because I'm not interested. I'm sorry, I don't want to pursue anything romantically with you. I just am not interested. And there's a difference between not liking somebody and just being nitpicky. Because sometimes we become self-destructive and we just look for anything to not like somebody because we don't want to receive that love. And if that's the case,

you got to look inward. Inward. Because you have to be open to receiving love and you have to love yourself first in order to get that, right? So if you don't want that, it's not time for you to date. You got to do some work with yourself first in order to get on the market. But if it's like you want to have a relationship and this person is just not it, then they're not it. They're not it. But I feel guilty because I, oh, because my friend put me on. That's, I mean, yeah, but in your life, you will go on a lot of dates. You will meet a lot of people.

And a lot of them will not fit. They will not fit. They will not be a good fit. And it is up to you to realize that you don't like them. And it is up to you to communicate that because there are also so many people that keep these kind of feelings deep within them. And then when it's time to be honest, when it's time to take your relationship to the next level, destruction. That's how you have exes that you don't talk to.

Not that you should be talking to your ex. Some people are able to do that. You know, it is what it is. But it just, it adds fuel to the flame when it could have just been a simple conversation. This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate launch. The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. level up your business with FedEx, the new power move.

Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via rail, love the way.

It takes two to tango. It always has and it always will. You can't be in a relationship if you're putting all of the effort and the other person is just like, whatever. and it's difficult because communication in a relationship is different than communicating with the bros or your girlies or your homies it's it's hard because there are emotions attached to it but if both of you want it to work it will work you will find common ground you will find the thing you need to survive but if you don't like them It don't matter.

It doesn't matter. Because you don't like them. So stop wasting your time and stop wasting their time. You think it's going to change? Maybe. But you really have to have a thorough conversation about that because if things stay the same, it won't change. It won't.

That's weird. My partner doesn't ask questions about me. If you bring it up, Maybe they might start asking questions about you. Maybe they will be more engaged. But are you ready for a reality where they don't do that? Where they stay the same because it's easier to stay the same than it is to change. And you can tell people to change.

But if they themselves don't want to do it, ain't no way. In the South, they say, bless your heart. Bless your heart. It ain't going to change. But the answer is quite clear. if you don't like them, maybe it's time to move on. Maybe it's time to send that really uncomfortable text. Screw the text.

Maybe it's time to go and talk to them and tell them how you feel. And it doesn't just go for romantic relationships. It goes for friendships. A lot of us are in friendships we don't like. We don't like them. And we gaslight ourselves to try to find reasons to be their friend. Well, I've known them since kindergarten and like, if you don't like them, what's the point? If they're not on some Olivia Rodrigo good for you, then what's the point?

Spoiler alert, there is no point. If you don't like them, there are people that will like them. There are people that will share their energy, share their passion. But that's just not you. And that's okay. And that's okay. So give yourself, the grace. The important thing is you found out you don't like them. And that's the first step. The second step is doing something about it. So save yourself the time. People go through entire marriages, entire relationships, entire friendships, knowing they don't like the other person and still begrudgingly doing things and oh my God, oh my God. Why? Why? If you don't like them, don't do it.

Don't do it. Zirky Show! I love you so much. Find people that love you back. There are a lot of people in this world. There are people that love you back. And I am one of them. Quick announcement. We are in unprecedented times. But the one thing we know for certain is the Zirky Show is here to stay.

You can watch it. You can listen to it. Whatever you want, we got it. 2025 is coming. It's time we make changes that matter to us. Put yourself first, love yourself first, and then give what you have to the ones you love. Zerky Show.

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