the zurkie show - why you don’t have any time for yourself

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

yes is an awesome word. but be careful with how you use it.

Yes is an awesome word, but be careful with how you use it. Let me guess you did it again. You had an idea, you had goals of what you wanted to do today, this week, this weekend, this month. And suddenly someone came knocking, or someone came calling. And they said, hey, you know that thing that you want to do? What if you just didn't do that? And instead, you helped me out. And you looked at yourself and you said,

I really should lock in. I really should not do this. But you said yes. And now time has passed. And that thing you wanted to do, that self-help book you wanted to read, that place you wanted to go to, that idea you had that you wanted to finally sketch out in your journal

and get to it, you didn't do it. Just say no! It's not that easy. It's not that easy. Trust me. I was a chronic overcommitter. In college, I wanted to be everywhere all at once.

I wanted to do everything. Hey, there's this awesome event happening over at the quad. You should be there. I'll be there. Hey, there's this incredible event that's happening at this place and this club is recruiting. You should go. I'll be there. I said yes.

so much that I didn't even know how to say no anymore. And I had all these things I wanted to do for myself. I wanted to go to the gym. But I got a club meeting at 7, so I can't really do that. I wanted to play soccer. I am soccer. Dude, I'm a boss at midfielder striker. Come on.

Oh, but I got this exam for this class that I got recruited for. I wanted to film a video. But I said yes to going to this Friendsgiving, and I really don't want to go to this. Just say no. This is a life skill that once you master it, you will be in awe of how much time you actually have. And it is the hardest thing to do if you are someone who cares. And let's be real, right? You're a people pleaser.

Let's be so real. You're a people pleaser. You like to make people feel good. And sadly, for some reason, saying no has been equated with a bad thing. Yeah, he said no to this opportunity. Like, I can't even believe it. It just didn't work. It wasn't meant to be.

It's not anything against you. Like, I would have loved to go to that Friendsgiving that would have had mid-food and I probably wouldn't have eaten it. And I would see people that I don't even talk to. I would have loved to go to that. But I said, no. I don't want to because I want to read a book that I've been meaning to read. When you start saying no, you realize the power of yes. This episode is brought to you by FedEx.

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Hey, do you want to go and hang out on this date? We're having a little bonfire. Yes. yes I do I want to be there I'll be there simple as that how do you say no how do you say no because let's be real okay I'm not someone who's going to be like you just you go up and you say no like let's okay let's be honest sometimes no is hurtful sometimes it is so I'm going to give you two options one you can be honest you can say listen

I really appreciate the invite I know it would be a great time but I just I have another plan I'm going to go through with that plan maybe in the future we can do something cool yeah bro totally chill man I'll invite you to the next party like no worries

the second option is also being honest hey no I don't want to go to the party thank you for the invite it's kind of your choice I mean the first one does sound infinitely better than the Second one, I will say that.

But you know what? Sometimes people will not leave you alone and they'll just keep asking. They'll keep being like, hey, so are you going to do this? Are you going to go? No, I'm, you know what? I got another thing going on. Come on, man. Dude, you never do anything fun.

No, I don't want to go. Thank you for the invite. All right. All right, dude. Like, all right. If someone can't take no, I don't think they're the best. for you. If they're really fighting you on your genuine response, ooh, bad sign. Red flag. Red flag on the play. Because if someone is truly your friend, if someone truly has the best intentions for you,

if you say no, they're going to be like totally, totally get it, not a problem, you're good. You're totally good, bro. say no. There are so many incredible opportunities. Just because you miss one doesn't mean you won't have another. Just because you don't go to the friends giving or to the party that you were invited to or you do a certain thing that someone told you you got to do this. It doesn't mean it's the end of the world. It's just what I wanted to do. And we got to tap into this more. We have to tap in to saying no. And that goes across the board. If it's something you disagree with, if it's something that's fundamentally just rotting you in the core, you need to say no. But this would be so good for your career. This would be so good for your, for your GPA. No. No.

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what do we do when we say no we have all this time what we do with it great question let me tell you for every opportunity you say no to I want you to make an opportunity for yourself where you would say yes. And don't look for the opportunity. Make it yourself. You said no to a concert.

Cool. What is something that you've wanted to do for a while? I wanted to go to an arcade. I think that would be so sick. Play ice hockey. I think that would be super sick. Okay. The time that you would spend going to the concert

to see a mid-artist that you don't really like and your friends are annoying, find some friends you like and go to an arcade. I said no to a book club because I didn't really like the people and I didn't like the book. Okay, cool. You said no to that. Now I want you to take that.

Read a book that you want to read. I really want to read that Rick Rubin book, the one with the circle on it. Great. You have the time now. You said no. Now you can give something that time and say yes to it. Because the trap that people find themselves in is they say no. And then they do.

This thing that you have, time, is the most valuable thing. You won't get this back. So if you're going to say no to an experience, an opportunity to anything, fill it. Fill it. Because this, if you just go, you're wasting the time. That's the one thing. You won't get back. Time.

Time is judgment. A lot of us wait for the opportunity for something to come to say yes to. And that's why we have a hard time saying no, because we don't make those opportunities for the things we want to actually pursue and do. And instead we wait on things to come. And usually the things that come to us, they're kind of just not really what we want to do, but other people are doing it. So we say yes instead of just saying no and doubling down on the thing we actually want to do ourselves. There are a lot of things in this life. There are a lot of opportunities.

There are a lot of people to meet things, places to go, things to eat. Like that Dubai chocolate bar that was all over my For You page. You guys know what I'm talking about? It has like the coconut thing in it. It's like the chocolate. It's like green. Bro, I am munching on one of those ASAP. That looks so good.

Sorry. But there are so many things in this world to do. if you have the power to say no to the things that you don't want to do, you can spend a lot more time doing the things that you love and you would say yes to, unequivocally, yes, yes, I want to go there. Yes, I want to go to the Chelsea Arsenal game in London. Yes, I want to write a book. Yes, I want to go on that hike.

Yes, I want to go on a date with you. I think that would be awesome and I think you're cute and I've been crushing on you for a year. It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet, from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. Yes is an awesome word, but be careful with how you use it.

Zirky Show, I love you. I hope you know that. Sometimes I feel like people don't express gratitude when they're supposed to. I hope you know that you guys have changed my life in a huge way. And the fact that my messages of just the things that I think of, people resonate with them and they also think the same things that I'm thinking makes me feel less alone. Because I'll tell you, sometimes this world, it's a lonely place.

I mean, when you're not in civilization, it's a lonely place. But the fact that I have you guys and all of your beautiful comments and thoughts and DMs and just everything, it gives me such an incredible amount of joy and I will keep making these yaps. If you got something you want me to talk about,

comment it down below. Zerky Show, it's everyday bro. Not really. I mean, I'll try, but anyways. Peace. See. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes.

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