the zurkie show - you don’t need someone all the time

Episode Date: December 29, 2024

I used to feel guilty for having alone time, until I learned to love and cherish it. being alone doesn't mean you are lonely... https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

One thing that nobody tells you about growing older is you have a lot of alone time. And it's weird because I used to think that being alone was a bad thing. Until I learned that no, sometimes I'm better off alone. I'm better off alone. Getting comfortable with being alone was the best thing I ever did for myself. self. Sure, it wasn't easy. In college, this is where it mainly started. I moved to a new school. I didn't have many friends my first year. And I dreaded the fact that most days I would just go back to my apartment. I wouldn't really have a lot of friends to kick it with. But what I actually realized

that I had all this time and I had a lot of time to reflect and I had a lot of time to focus on the things I wanted to do, it made me feel really good. I started to pick up things that I didn't before. One thing that I really started to do in college was I wrote a lot. I started journaling every single day. I had this routine in my apartment where I would wake up. I would go to the lobby of my apartment building. I would get a coffee from the free coffee machine. And I would just write for like an hour every morning and I loved it I loved it I would just write about what was going on how I felt the things I was processing and every day I wrote to the point that I had just like this big journal and I was so proud of it and that was something I did alone that was something I did by my lonely

started out from nothing I was hungry rest of peace speaker knockers it's a deep cut Being alone is a beautiful thing. I think a lot of us take it for granted. A lot of us, when we get alone time, we freak out. We're like, ah, what do I do? I'm not with the bros. I'll tell you what you do. You got to get comfortable with being alone.

You got to get comfortable with spending time with yourself in a non-destructive manner. Treating yourself like you were a five-year-old. finding things that you're interested in reflecting like all of these things make you better off alone because one thing i know is that life comes in seasons there are seasons in your life where you are going to meet meeting a lot of people you're going to be outside we outside all the time you're going to feel like your social level is just at an all time high you feel good and there will be moments in your life where it will be dry. It will be drier than my hinge profile. It will be dry. Like, that is life. And if you don't know how to spend time alone, it will be rough. It will feel

lonely. And everyone has the amount that's good for them. For some people, they really value their alone time. They really like being alone. They don't like being oversimulated by a lot of people all the time. For others, one, two hours a week is enough. They are go, go, go. I get energized by other people. I need my time with other people. There is no arbitrary number. There is no, oh, you have to spend two hours every day alone. No, you have to feel it out. What do you crave? Do you crave having some alone time and spending it with yourself? Or do you crave being outside and meeting people. The Volkswagen Atlas is a 7-seat powerhouse that actually makes sense for real life.

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Maybe it's going to that new coffee shop and grabbing a book. Going to the library, doing some work that you've always wanted to do, designing something in Photoshop that you wanted to design, learning something. There are so many ways to spend alone time. Why do we not take advantage of it? I think there's a stigma around it. There's a huge stigma around being alone. The main thing is like we don't want to be seen as a loser with no friends.

When in reality, I'm going to burst a lot of people's bubbles. Like, in my opinion, good friends over the quantity of friends, quality over quantity, any day of the week. because you have a lot of friends, but when things start to go wrong, it's only a couple that you can really turn to, right? But it's also weird being alone. We don't really spend a lot of time alone. Most of the time we're here,

scrolling, watching, consuming. And there's a time and a place for that. I'm not going to sit here and act like, I don't do that myself. Oh, my goodness, I do it every single day. probably more than I'd like to admit it is what it is but we cannot ignore the fact that sometimes we are better off alone maybe you're going through a breakup right and your friends are telling you come on go with us downtown like don't worry we're going to make sure that you rebound and you're

like I don't care about that I I just want to spend time with myself right now. I need to figure things out. Then spend time alone. Spend time alone. Do things that you like. I love going to parks. Sometimes I go to parks with people. Sometimes, most of the time, I go alone. I like it. I like being able to have my own thoughts. Go out and explore something the way that I want to explore it. Sometimes when you're in a group, they don't want to do the same thing as you. Use your alone time as that chance to do something you want to do. Go out and explore the things you want to explore. Maybe go out and volunteer for like an animal shelter.

I don't know. Maybe that's what you really want to do. And all your friends are like, that's lame. Okay. Is it lame to you? No. Okay, then go out and do it. Go out and do it.

Spend that alone time and give it the same respect as you do with your friends. as you do with your loved ones because you matter and oftentimes we don't want to spend time alone because we get in our own thoughts we start to realize things that we don't want to realize about ourselves

we don't confront the darkness and home alone there's a scene right where Kevin sees this furnace downstairs and he's scared of the furnace because it turns on and it looks like a

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I'm going to enjoy my alone time. I had friends that I would tell, you know, hey, I'm going to spend some time on my own. I don't really want to hang out. And they'd be like, bro, you don't do anything fun anymore. No, I do a lot of fun stuff. It's just this time, I'm better off alone doing it. Real talk.

Because if I take you hiking, you're going to be like, bro, this is so mad. So no, I'm better off alone. I'm just going to do it by myself. And I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to enjoy it. Because at the end of the day, the way that I want to spend my time is up to me. I decide that. So if I don't want to hang out with people, that's fine.

That's okay. Am I spending it the way that I want to spend it? Do I genuinely feel like this is a good use of my time? It's a conversation only you know that you can have with yourself. Because people will tell you online, they'll tell you, you know, in real life even like, dude, I don't think you should be doing that. That hobby that you do on your own, like you play golf by yourself. Like, bro, that's not going to get you a girlfriend, bro.

What are you talking about? I want to do that. it is my life who are you to tell me that that that it's bad that it's not going to get the huss what are you even saying don't listen to those kind of people

that is the like that is the worst piece of advice anyone has ever given me stop bro like stop doing that video stuff like that's not the huss don't like that what like what No, thank you. I'm better off alone. I'm chilling by myself.

I'm enjoying the time that I spend with myself, which is something I used to not do. I used to hate the fact that I was alone, that I didn't have people that I was around, especially when I moved to a new place, a new city. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm such a loser for having alone time. And then I started spending my alone time the way I wanted to, and I was like, dude, this is awesome.

I love this. I started meeting people by being alone, by doing stuff because I wanted to do it. That's really where the magic is. So don't feel ashamed or guilty that you have alone time. Use it in a good way. Use it in a way that you would like to use it. Because at the end of the day, this life is yours and yours only. You can listen to what other people are telling you to do,

but it comes down to what you want to do Zirky Show. Man, isn't this beautiful? It's gorgeous, man. Go explore nature. Nature is literally awesome. It is like free entertainment. All my OGs know this, but for the new faces, what's up? Also, we are in unprecedented times.

I don't know what's going to happen, but the one thing I know for certain is the Zirky Show is here to stay. If you want to tap in, this is the way to do it. You can watch it with your eyes. You can listen to it. with your ears, but the Zirky Show ain't going nowhere. I love every single one of you, all 200,000 of you. If you have something in this new year that you want to do, that you want to accomplish,

just know, I believe in you, Zirky Show. Be it.