the zurkie show - you expect the worst every time

Episode Date: October 26, 2025

go through sadness.go through betrayal.go through pain.we have these emotions for a reason.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

I wish I knew what somebody was going to do to me before they did it. I know that's like such wishful thinking, but don't you kind of wish if someone was going to hurt you that you would know about it beforehand, that somebody would warn you, yo, they're kind of capping. They're not serious about what they're talking about. I focus so much on what other people are doing and how it will impact me in what way that I struggle to focus on what I can control. What can you control? It is such a weird question to ask because for a lot of us, there is seemingly not much we can control. Like, you can't control where you're born. You can't control if, you know, your girl is asking you to go to Chili's for the first date.

Red flag. But you can't, you can't. What can you do? Right. But in reality, you can control a lot. Actually, I would argue you can control more than you think. And the things that you can control, those are the things that deserve the most attention. Yet we blind ourselves so many times with what someone is going to say, how they are going to act.

If or when they will change for us, that's a big one. You hear a lot of promises and relationships. You hear a lot of people saying a lot of different things. but how do you know if it's true? Like how do you know if your girl, your bro, I don't know, even your parents are serious about what they're saying or if they're just trying to tell you what you want to hear but they are going to act a completely different way?

You can't. You can't. I can't. As much as I would love to know that somebody is going to be truthful to me, I don't know. IDK, it's that simple. And you will never truly know. But what you can do

is you can make sure that everything that's in your control is taken care of. All the things that you want to say, you said them. All the actions of love and appreciation you wanted to give them, you did. All the phone calls that you promised them, you called them.

Because outside of that, the rest is The rest is not up to you. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-O-Jo. The online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games.

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Flip. Or that and enjoy. Via rail, love the way. And maybe we were led to believe at some point that it was. Maybe you were guilted into believing that like so many breakups in your past were your fault when in reality, they weren't. It's never just one person's fault.

There are always different characteristics at play, different factors at play. It always takes two to tango. And if one person is accusing you of taking the wrong step, maybe they're the one that's not in the rhythm, you know? What can you control?

What can you control? And what are you selling yourself short on? What are you making yourself seem like you can't do when in reality you can? Because it might be difficult. And no one said it was going to be easy, but just because it's difficult doesn't mean it can't be done. Just because, you know, you know you can do better doesn't mean that you have to punish yourself in order to do so. Just because right now it sucks, whether that's the relationship, whether that's the relationship, whether that's your life, it doesn't mean you can't change it and it is doomed.

I think that we have become so accustomed to living in the extremes because that's all we see, when in reality life is a lot more mundane and it's a lot more mid. That's the truth. It's just mid. Sometimes it's just not good. But it's not bad. And we have been led to believe that, because we are just existing, we're not doing enough.

But you're doing everything in your control. It's just sometimes you're not supposed to be happy all the time. You're not supposed to be on a private jet all the time. I'm not on a private jet. I'm doing just fine, man. Chilling. And it's dangerous to rely on other people all the time. It's a very dangerous way of thinking.

And listen, I don't think that you should be completely individual with everything. You need to reach out to people. You need to know how to balance asking for help and knowing when to do something yourself. But I think that worrying about other people and how other people will impact you, and it's not in your control, you cannot worry about that. You can't. At least you can be, you can know. You can be prepared.

Okay, I know potentially that this person might. say something behind my back and it might start a feud. I know potentially that if I go to this party, maybe I'm going to be seen with somebody that I shouldn't be seen with, which if you're getting in that kind of situation, what are you doing? Again, there are levels to that that you can control, but so many of us are afraid of just making mistakes that that creates this fear. The ride that steals the spotlight every time I'm hits the road? That's the Volkswagen Tiguan. Its sleek exterior makes a first impression you can't ignore. Step inside to find available full leather seats and wood accents. Under the hood, the available

201 turbocharged horsepower engine gives it a fun to drive edge. The refined Tigwan, you deserve more style. Visit vw.ca to learn more. SUVw, German engineered for all. and this need for control and this need for, I need to know that I'm going to get hurt so I can prepare myself for getting hurt. You don't want to feel the whole pain and that's part of the problem. That's why it is so easy to just like cut yourself off mentally

from a relationship or cut yourself off mentally from yourself. You don't even allow yourself to go through the healing process of like figuring out, yo, that sucks that my friends made fun of my passions and now I have to do it in secret. but you know what I still shared what I loved I still did what was important to me just because like I can't control that they're going to make fun of me and laugh at me for it does not mean that I just stopped doing it maybe it means they're not really my friends

the reframing you know people like to talk about it's a victim mindset whatever I don't think it's that as much as it is allowing things that were not your fault to become your fault. And that's where I think the difference lies. Because just because you are put in a situation that is really, really rough and terrible and makes you, you know, think how you got there in that booth at Chili's. I got to stop with this. Chili's be catching strays, man. All right. Just because you got in a pretty rough situation,

it does not mean that that was necessarily your fault. There are aspects of it that maybe could have been prevented, 100%. I won't sit there and try to tell you that, oh, it's not your fault. No, of course, all of us have something that we contribute to a situation, whether we like it or not, but worrying about everything far and in between of like, oh my gosh, what do I do? How do I? Like, I can't believe this person harmed me and hurt me.

Is that really focusing on what you can control? Because you can't control that. What you can control is recognizing that you got hurt. It's recognizing that hurt. That stung. them like throwing me under the bus that is that's not

doesn't sit right with my ego doesn't sit right with my spirit it actually makes me feel really sad it's a beautiful thing that you can control just admitting that you have that emotion suppressing it and putting it down I mean that's that's a choice I'm not going to sit here and tell you that

that's the wrong choice because sometimes we do not have the luxury of going through our emotions some of us we got families that if they see our weakness, they will exploit it. I get that. But also, you are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to, like, feel hurt about things that happen in your life. You don't need to, you don't need to, like, deflect it. Because that is something you can control. And emotions are meant to be felt. They're meant to be experienced.

the more that you tell yourself you are not allowed to feel a certain way, the worse that feeling will get. And I used to be somebody who would suppress that a lot. I would suppress sadness a lot. And I would suppress pain. I'd be like, I'm in pain, but I'm not allowed to feel it. And who's to say that you're allowed or not allowed to feel anything? It's your life. If you are in pain, you are allowed to feel it.

it and you should because it's something that's in your control. The fact that somebody else inflicted this pain on you, maybe you had no control over that, but you now have this thing, which is that emotion and it is now your problem. I'm sorry, I wish it wasn't, but now it is your problem. Your duty is to go through that emotion. It is. your duty is to just feel it man

it's not to find the next relationship that will make you forget about your ex it's not to I don't know go and hang out with a new crowd of people because the old one they didn't like you

feel the emotions stop distracting yourself from the fact that it sucks because that's something that you can control you can control you can control You can control going through those things. You can reclaim ownership over feeling bad about what's going on.

And it is normal to feel bad. You can control how you interact with yourself and if you decide to treat yourself well. And I don't do it enough. It is very hard for me to treat myself well. But what I am realizing is the more that I allow myself, to, I don't know, convince my brain that I am not worthy of X, Y, and Z thing. I am, I don't deserve a smoothie or I don't deserve to go to the gym because I haven't grinded enough, because I haven't locked in enough.

That's, that is perpetuating the cycle of me feeling terrible about myself and feeling like I do not matter. But the beautiful thing about that and those emotions, I can control those things. I can allow myself to do good things for myself. I can allow myself to feel better about my situation by exercising, by writing, by going and doing something with somebody, by telling someone. Action. You need to follow action. That is the only way change happens.

Yes, you can think about it. Yes, you can sit there and be like, okay, maybe if I did this. this, maybe I do that. The more you think, the less you do. You can believe me or you can, you know, choose not to. That's fine. But I am telling you right now, I am somebody who was a chronic overthinker. I never did anything. Square knows that in hospitality, efficiency is everything. That's why their system lets you take payments. Track sales, handle inventory, manage staff, send invoices, and keep up with finances all in one place. Apply through orders with zero mistakes. Get the data you need and keep everything working together. So you're ready for whatever's next. Learn more about their

customized little plans that's squareup.com. Because I was too busy thinking about what, what can I, what's out of my control when I should have been thinking about what I can control. Right now you can control if you want to go for a walk. Right now you can control if you call your homie and say, hey, what's up? We should go watch a movie or something. I'll pick you up at seven. Right now you can control the way you interact with people and that you treat people with kindness and you don't shrug people off and call them cringe

just because they're doing something you wish you could do I've been there I've been there if you are in pain experience it experience it that's all I'm really asking

and don't look for reasons you know what the reason is and oftentimes it's not your fault So deal with it. Learn from it, right? Look at what happened objectively. Be like, all right.

When I hang out with this person, they really make me feel self-conscious and they really are just not nice to me. Well, wait, that's kind of a mirror to myself of like, why am I hanging out with this person? They want to tear me down. They want to like make these comments about how I'm not good enough or whatever. Why do I entertain this person? Okay. Maybe I shouldn't hang out with them. Hey, we did it.

That's in your control. That's in your control. All right. Let's act on it. We sweep too many things under the rug. And then we like to focus on other people's issues and how other people are going to interact with us. And we like we do not have any kind of power in our own lives. I'm just here to tell you that that's not true.

You can make decisions for yourself. You don't have to make decisions based on what, people, society, or what your parents think is correct for you. You need to be in tune with what you want. And that takes going down to like a small level, like a day to day level, simple stuff. Like, what do you wear? Do you wear stuff for yourself or do you wear stuff because, oh, that's, I got to look this way so I can seem this way. What can you control? What can you control day to day? What can you do for yourself to make your life a little bit easier. Because this life isn't easy.

And it will get harder. I'm telling you, as you get older, you get more, more things that you need to focus on. And if you do not learn how to work with yourself, man, it will be difficult. You will be your worst enemy and you will not even be able to enjoy anything in your life. And that does not sound like a good time, Zerky Show. That does not sound like a good time.