the zurkie show - you feel left out for a reason

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

they didn't just "forget"...they don't want you there.so find people who do.sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 When do you know if your friends actually forgot about you or if you're being excluded from the friend group? This is kind of something that I had to deal with a lot because I'm not going to lie to you guys. I was an obnoxious kid. There were a lot of instances where I wasn't invited places because nobody wanted to deal with what I was bringing. And hey, I agree. Like if I was in a similar position where I cared about my social status and my aura, maybe I wouldn't invite myself to, even though, hey, I thought I was a cool kid. do you take it personally if somebody decides to not invite you to something do you take it personally if you are being outcasted if you are being used as the butt of every joke do you take it personally
Starting point is 00:00:42 if people do not like you it is something i have struggled with my entire life because i won't lie to you nothing hurts me more than being overlooked for who i am and i'm sure that you can agree it is a terrible feeling when you are friends with somebody, when you are acquaintances with somebody and they do something cool and they have no interest in having you there with them. You think that you are a certain level of friend, but you're not. You're not. And it's a huge reality check. And I'm not going to lie. I've taken a lot of that stuff personally. It's been a huge driver to wanting to have success or prove people wrong. But those people will never care. about you, the way that you can care about yourself and give time and energy to people that actually
Starting point is 00:01:32 matter. And that's something I've had to learn the hard way. Like, yeah, I can take every comment and, and, you know, roasting personally. But at the end of the day, it's not sustainable to just hold on to the resentment of what other people thought or didn't think I was. I've gotten to a point now where I've realized, the only person I can really count on are a couple close friends and myself. And nobody is going to invite me to a certain kind of trip unless I start going on trips myself, unless I start to do the things that matter to me. And I guess that's another thing with acceptance. We oftentimes wait for it from other people. We want someone to express to us, hey, you're invited. You can come to this event. Hey, we'd love to have you to.
Starting point is 00:02:24 come to the lakehouse with us, that'd be super fun. But we rarely think to actually create those experiences and those times for ourselves. Instead, we get super, super jaded and almost angry that somebody would forget about us, but I'm not going to lie. People are forgetful. A lot of people just want you around because it's convenient. Now, that doesn't mean that you have no worth as a human being, actually quite the opposite, because if somebody can keep you around, just to be around, there are people out there that want you there because they love you and they appreciate you. But what's been so interesting as I've kind of grown older, I'm not sure how many of you guys have seen the last dance. The Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Bulls documentary, I love it.
Starting point is 00:03:10 It's incredible. Jordan talked a lot about taking it personally when he was overlooked. And that became a proving thing in his career that he wanted to prove. people wrong and show them that he was really the goat. It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet, from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent.
Starting point is 00:03:38 WestJet, where your story takes off. I mean, hey, ball doesn't lie. Jordan was a monster on the court, and I, oh man, you know, if I could do the jump man, Hold on. I love it, dude. You have to really consider is proving yourself in front of other people out of spite. Something that's actually going to make you happy. Because sure, you know, Jordan won all those MVPs and he won all those rings and I'm sure he's doing just fine.
Starting point is 00:04:12 But I don't know if that's what brought him the happiness and the fulfillment and the commitment. taking things personally it can be a great way to get your foot off the ground and be like all right like i got a chip on my shoulder i got to prove people wrong and it can work really well if you're working against yourself but if it's all the time trying to prove to other people hey i'm social i'm fun i'm cool to be around you might end up like the great gatsby throwing all these parties for people to think he's popular and what does taking things personally really get you it gives you a little bit of motivation, that's for sure. It gets you some kind of spike fuel to get you going. And sometimes it's easier to finish your bench press or your leg press at the gym as you have funk playing
Starting point is 00:05:03 in your headphones because you're thinking about that one girl that called you fat and ugly, your freshman year of high school. But you will get to a point where that won't matter anymore. We're not being invited to an event. We're not being invited to an event. or to hang out with your friend group that you thought was your friend group is going to be so benign and it's going to be like, oh, yeah, whatever. And there's a good chance if you're not being invited, you probably didn't even want to go. Actually, that might be cope. Because you probably did.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I mean, hey, if your homies are going to the lake house or hanging out together, I mean, come on. That sounds like a lot of fun, you know? It kind of sucks that they're just like, no, don't invite Sir, he's weird. You know, but hey. Sometimes you're going to be isolated. Especially when you start to make changes in your life, I've noticed this. People will drift apart because you are going to spend more time naturally with yourself, which means you're going to build yourself up into a better version of who you were before.
Starting point is 00:06:07 And then, on top of all of that, you're going to start to attract people that are better for you. And those people will want to spend more time with you. And this evolution keeps on going as you progress through your life. You might be really good friends with somebody in high school, college, you don't speak at all, and you might rekindle that relationship down the line. It might be reversed. It might be in college. You have a best friend.
Starting point is 00:06:30 You guys are inseparable. But then life happens, and both of you start working a job. And it's kind of harder to joke about the same stuff because you guys were in the same town, and you had the same meeting points. And now you're thousands of miles apart. It's not as easy. Frozen lasagna, medium power. minutes. Sounds like
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Starting point is 00:08:10 More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play, post, taste, view, and enjoy, via rail, love the way. But I have learned to not take things so personally, and I have kind of learned to be like, maybe I'm not the center of attention with everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:46 maybe I'm not the person in everyone's life that people are trying to do wrong to maybe they just forgot and you know what if they were meant to forget then they were meant to forget I'm not going to hold it against them that I wasn't at that party or I wasn't hanging out with them on this date or that they didn't call me on my birthday I don't take it personally because I got other things in my personal life to look forward to a lot of people that get super upset and bitter about you know other people in their circle or, you know, they, they see that somebody got a scholarship somewhere and they're like, why didn't I get that same scholarship? I had better test scores. It is,
Starting point is 00:09:26 it's a lack of self-confidence and I think it's also your ego gets hurt. Why is this person successful and I'm not? You are so prone to not looking inward and instead looking outward and being like it's somebody else's fault someone else is doing the wrong when in reality it wasn't for you a lot of things in life are just not for you and it can be a multitude of reasons it can be circumstantial they might have gotten a scholarship because their father knew somebody they might have gotten some kind of opportunity or gotten to go on a trip because they knew someone else or somebody had seen a piece of their work or i don't even know they got in just the right at the right time, but that isn't, I think, something you should take personally.
Starting point is 00:10:21 I don't think so. Because what good does this do you? What good does it do you to hold this kind of resentment and this grudge of like, everyone is being seen except for me? What if not being picked to go on a trip, not getting a scholarship, not getting into a certain uni, not being able to go out with that boy? is actually a blessing. Zerk, oh my, bro, come on!
Starting point is 00:10:52 I think that with every kind of opportunity, you lose out on something else. And I know, people are going to say that's cope. Zerk, of course, yeah. If you didn't get an all-inclusive trip to Ibiza and your friend got it, then, yeah, so there is a better opportunity for you. But I don't think it helps for you to hold resentment
Starting point is 00:11:13 over people that are doing better than you. This episode is brought to you by Tellus Online Security. Oh, tax season is the worst. You mean hack season? Sorry, what? Yeah, cybercriminals love tax forms. But I've got Tellus Online Security. It helps protect against identity theft and financial fraud
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Starting point is 00:11:57 If you are not creating the opportunities, the relationships, the friendships, the trips with the people that you care about, somebody else's endeavors are worthless to you. They don't matter. You can compare, yourself to them and yeah you can i guess take it personally and be like how are they in santa rite every weekend which that's kind of crazy i'm not going to lie they got some either credit card
Starting point is 00:12:23 debt or they got some rich parents but it's not your life and it never will be and there is this obsession i think with like pocket watching people and comparing every one of your low lights to their highlights. Are you living your life in the way that you want? And if the answer is yes, then all of that doesn't matter. It doesn't. And it never did. And it's something I've had to really fight with, man. Comparison is dangerous because you can start comparing yourself quite a bit. And I still deal with it. It's not like I'm just nonchalantly floating through the universe, no problems. No, of course. When I see somebody bawling, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:13:13 why isn't that me? But then I realize, I'm like, that's not my life. And I'm very grateful for my life and I'm grateful for the fact that I can travel and I can see my parents and I can hang out places and I can film places and I can just exist as a human being on my own time.
Starting point is 00:13:32 And that is something I take personally because that is my personal life. It's the way that I have chosen to spend my life in the way that I like. So many of us think that what we need is a first class flight somewhere with those lay flat beds. So many of us think that we need to drop a bag at MewMew to feel good about ourselves. I mean, maybe it might help for a minute. And then you're going to be reminded of who you are as a person.
Starting point is 00:14:05 you're going to go through challenges in life. And I don't know how much Lulu, how much Mu, Mu, how much young L.A. you can have that will try to put a dent in the hole of feeling lost, of feeling like you don't have anything. I'd rather you focus on that. I mean, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you feel like that's a better use of your time? Instead of just taking everything personally and feeling like you're being overlooked.
Starting point is 00:14:37 And if your friend group is not inviting you to Cabo for spring break, then don't go. Go somewhere you want to go. Go to Montana. Go to Idaho. Go to New York. Go to the Philippines. Go visit your parents, your grandma, your aunt. Do something that you would rather do on your own.
Starting point is 00:14:54 It's okay to take your own path, especially when the people around you don't have your best interest at heart. So many of us fight to be accepted, and I get that. But what if the real acceptance comes from first figuring out who you are? And then trying to seek out people that are similar. And you will always change. You won't have the same friends. You won't have the same opportunities. And you definitely will not have the same mindset that you have now.
Starting point is 00:15:26 But I don't think you should take any of it personally. And instead, I think what you should do is you should accept that that is life. And if right now you're being. outcasted, nobody wants to have you around. Good. It means that you've changed. It means that those people, they no longer fit with you, and it means that there are new ones on the horizon. Because if you don't think that way, then you are going to just take everything personally.
Starting point is 00:15:55 You are just going to think, oh my goodness, nobody loves me and they all want me out. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you've got. Sign up for free at rBC trainingground.ca. Visit betmgm casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick.
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Starting point is 00:17:34 I think I need new friends. Cirkey Show. Today's episode of The Zirky Show was filmed in beautiful Colorado in the mountains as the snow pelts my face. Colorado's an estier state. You've got to come visit it once in your life. Check it out. It is unreal.
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Starting point is 00:18:04 Do the things that bring you joy. Take it easy on yourself a little bit. I get it. Having standards is good and you should try to keep that standard. But if you are just getting so upset at yourself, take a walk, take a break, take a breather, come back to it with some green tea, with some honey and some ginger, and get back on it. Sometimes you've got to fall off the mechanical bowl to figure out how to ride it. Real facts. What?
Starting point is 00:18:30 Either way, if you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. And as always, Zirky Show, I'm sending you lots of love and peace. Thank you.

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