the zurkie show - you have friends, so why are you lonely

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

you aren't alone. I go through the same exact thing.sending you all lots of love and peaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Loneliness does not mean having no friends. I think people misinterpret when someone says they're lonely what that means. Because I'm sure that you have friends, you have people that you love, and you still have felt lonely in your life. It's more about what you go through. It's more about the emotions that you experience that makes you feel lonely. And right now, bro, I feel lonely. And I have friends checking in on me.

I have people around me being like, yo, you good, yo, you good. and I'm good. It just feels as if the things that I am going through, I am the only person going through them, and therefore I am alone in experiencing all of the stuff that has been put on me. And a lot of the stress that I'm dealing with right now, it's coming from my relationship, it's coming from my aspirations, my expectations that I have of myself, and it's nobody else's fault except for mine. I'm putting all these standards and all these things on me and I'm draining the life out of me. Pause, resume. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed. And it's like high key my fault.

I put this on me. And I'm the only person that can pull myself out of it. But I think that one of the ways you pull yourself out of loneliness is telling people whatever it is stacked. on your plate, you kind of need to share that plate, you know. And I don't like sharing my plate. Bro, when I go out to eat, you know how some people are like, oh, let me try a little bit. No, I ordered this.

This is my kebab. I'm eating this kebab. But there's actually a lot of joy and a lot of peace I get from sharing the negative stuff in my life now, man. And just keeping it real. Like, you don't have to, you don't have to search for bad stuff to throw. you can be objective about what's going on but I just feel kind of burdened a little bit with my own brain and the way I've been putting limiting beliefs on myself I've been telling

myself that I can't do things because it's not me it's not my character and I have been so quick to just shoot everything down in my mind that I think would help me bro I don't even know why. I think what you learn becoming an adult is that this adult thing is such a process. It isn't like a one and done like, oh, I'm going to, you know, get a job. I'm going to build a family. I'm going to have a relationship and things will fall into place. You're always tweaking things. You're always like figuring yourself out. You're always just constantly finding new things to do. Rosen lasagna,

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Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via rail. Love the way. And I think it's so easy to get wrapped up in this image of what being an adult is and think that like, oh, you know, I got to really be on top of my game, be organized and everything. And the truth is like, even if you are the most organized, even if you feel like you have everything in order, things will still go wrong. And I think it's your approach of why you think those things are wrong in the first place that actually dictates your life.

You know, things suck right now. There's certain things that really suck. But if I look at the bird's eye view of what I'm able to do on a day to day and I look at actually how I'm living my life, you know what? what things are really good and they can be so much better. And maybe I've lost a little bit of my objective optimism because I've been so like in my head. And I've just been so closed off to the things that make me feel good. But this life is beautiful, man.

And I think I need to find more reminders of how beautiful it is. Like I just need to remind these things to myself. It's weird, bro. Like, I like to be of service to other people. I don't really like to be of service to myself because I don't think I deserve it. Isn't that kind of crazy? Like, you would bend over backwards for somebody else and you would help them. You would, you know, you would do anything for someone else.

But when it comes down to yourself, it's a whole different story. Because you can think of all the negative things that you do in your life and how terrible of a person you are to yourself. when in reality like you're a good person i think so i think you're a good person you know i mean i have so so many people that care about me and i have so many friends that really love me i think sometimes i need to remind myself of that because i think we forget about it often but i i think that like my friendship with myself i've i've sabotaged it a lot i've like put myself to the side so many times been like, no, like, what matters is this other person. You don't matter. You never mattered.

And I look at that and think, like, why, why do I have this relationship with myself? Where does this stem from? I feel like I'm so, I'm the biggest fan of somebody else, and I'm so optimistic about the things I do. But I will take every second to critique myself and make sure that I know I will never be good enough for it. It's just like, make it make it make sense. You know? Make it make sense. Your relationship with yourself doesn't really make sense. Nobody really teaches you it. They just kind of say, oh, figure it out. I'll be kind to yourself or something. I don't know. Self-love. What does that look like? Because self-love is like not allowing yourself to binge eat. Self-love could be like allowing yourself to just, exist a little bit instead of critiquing everything you do wrong.

And I think self-love is allowing yourself to try something else. And I think that that's what I've been so against. I've been like, no, you have to do the show. You cannot do something else. And it's weird because I feel like I give you guys that advice. And it's almost like I can't take it myself. Isn't that so odd and hypocritical? Yeah, but I think we're all hypocrites, you know.

But I think what's the most important thing is, is we all want to be better. We all want to be better. I think I had a lot of stuff held against me. I don't know if you've experienced this yourself, but I had a lot of things in my life held against me of like you always say you're going to do this and you never do it. You're always like complaining about your weight

and you never change your eating habits. And that kind of talking has stayed with me in my entire life of like if I can't get it right, self-worth stock you know plummets but in reality like

being able to build on top of a good foundation on top of you're going to make mistakes you're not going to be good you're not going to be perfect and that is okay that is a part of this

you need to just keep moving forward no matter what and just give it your all I had to learn that on my own and now even when I do a plan that kind of logic, it creates new fears. I feel afraid of stagnating. I feel afraid of just being comfortable. And I, I, because anytime I was comfortable, I wasn't doing enough. And anytime I was comfortable, it was a problem, I guess. Maybe. Or maybe I'm reading into it too deep. You know,

that could also be the case. But I struggle like anybody, you know, And I think that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to just be like more than human and I can't do that. And I was like living in delusion a little bit that I had everything together and I had a sense of what I'm doing. I have a relationship. I'm making money. I'm doing fine. I can eat slop bowls at Chapult. I can go on as many $60 dates as I want to at Chili's.

But you know what, man? I'm going to tell you guys something from the bottom of my heart. Those things are temporary. Getting yourself out of a position that you feel less than in is temporary because those feelings that kept you sad in that position come back. And they come back stronger because now you have less excuses to blame. You have less things to be like, this is, this is why I feel so bad. You know, it's the fact that I haven't shown my parents that I can be successful.

It's the fact that I, you know, haven't had any accolades to my name. It's the fact that I haven't moved out of my parents' house yet. That's what's keeping me from it. You'll do all those things and you will feel the same. The small things are what matter. The small things, how you talk to yourself, not allowing yourself to just, yap about how terrible of a person you are with no no evidence you're pulling evidence from like when you were in freshman year of high school what are you doing what are you doing it's now

it's right now that's what matters and i just get so hung up on the past and i get so hung up on well i said i would do this and i didn't i'm such a i'm a loser you're not a loser i think i need to to be nicer to myself. I think I need to be a little bit more respectful with who I am. And just give myself a lot more grace. I don't think I do that enough. I think I'm so critical. And it's funny because I would never be that way to anyone else, but I'm the first person that if somebody's, you know, if I do something wrong, I beat myself up for it. You know, it's one thing to own up to your mistakes. It's another thing to just continuously be like, I'm the worst. And And I don't even do this with people that I don't know.

Like, I will just own up and be like, sorry, bro. My bad. Awesome. My bad. I will do it with the people that are closest to me. And it's like the only way I feel like I can show that I'm genuinely sorry is if I make myself collateral. I think a lot of that comes from like, you know, a lot of these things come from your childhood. And they come from things that you've experienced.

And they come from the way that sometimes people have treated you. And I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that I, like, you can't, there's no such thing as being perfect. And that is so hard for me to accept because I used to think that was the bar of just being accepted. Was if you are perfect, you will be accepted. And it's just not. It's just not. And it never will be. And the more that you, you know, more time that you spend trying to chase after perfection and chase after being somebody that.

that seems perfect to other people, the more sad and angry you will become and bitter. I don't want to focus on all the things I do bad. I don't have enough lifetime for that. Like, I just, I want to be me. That's it. I want to focus more on being me. And I think I need to really talk to myself and figure out what that looks like, because I don't even know.

We're all figuring it out, you know. So it'd be foolish for me to say that, I know how to do that. No, I don't, bro, no. You know, but things will be okay. But something has to change. There's a good chance something has to change in your life. And I'm right there with you. Something has to change in mine.

As always, Zerkees Show. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. And I'm sending you lots of love. And peace. Thank you.