the zurkie show - you haven’t given it enough time

Episode Date: January 4, 2026

there's a difference between stalling and acting.a lot of convince ourselves "we're doing it" but get frustrated when the results aren't instantaneous.realize your goals take time.while you achieve them, enjoy the process.sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Good things come with patience, but nobody's willing to wait that long. Nobody's willing to sit out a relationship and actually figure out if they're being unreasonable. Nobody's willing to put in hours into something without any kind of return immediately, and that's the problem. Patience rewards those who wait, but how do you wait in a world that thrives off instant gratification and tells you you have no time? I think that if you learn to be patient, 2026 will be your year. And I don't think that patience means waiting. Those are actually two different things. Patience is the idea that when you do something, when you put in an action, when you make an effort to be a better person,

or you make an effort to be on time instead of being 15 minutes late to everything, when in reality you tell people you're 15 minutes late, you're actually half an hour late. Okay. Patience is realizing that incremental change is what is going to stack up and actually make you feel like you are a different person. But again, nobody is willing to wait that long. And it's because they think that patience is something they need to do in order to immediately see a result.

That's not how it works. Patience is a virtue. I would even argue it's an act. it is a test from whatever you believe in the universe, God, a higher power. Are you willing to do work without seeing its immediate effect? Are you willing to just act in a way that will embody your character traits that you want in your mind, in your soul? And are you willing to sit through the discomfort and the boredom of life in order to achieve it? I think that deep down, if you want something really, really bad, you're willing to do it.

It's just that you have not been honest with yourself as to what you want. If you genuinely want to stick it out with somebody and you think that they're your soulmate, you are going to go through any kind of adversity to make it happen. You'll go through the really weird periods where you guys aren't feeling very intimate together. You'll go through the moments where you realize, ah, I don't know if this is going to work out, but I know I love them. If you truly love a job, if you truly love a career, you are going to be willing to stick things out when there's no prospect, when the job market sucks, right? You're going to be willing to do these things because you are devoted and you have patience.

What I find is that people love to commit to something before they've even thought about the ramifications of what it means. You want to be a varsity starter on your soccer team. Heck, you want to even just be a good pickup player. Are you willing to put in the hours? Are you willing to have the patience of sucking and going through your entire first, second, third month, sucking, knowing that you suck, but trying to implement changes on a small scale

to get somewhere? That's the question that nobody asks. Is the sacrifice worth it in your eyes? because I think where success lies and real change is created is in the moments you don't want to do it. And that is where patience is so important. A thing about patience and time is you've got to find a way to make it work for you. This is something I don't think they teach enough. But I think that you have to find signs of improvement that aren't based on external.

validation that aren't based on external things that happen. You have to find things that will keep you going for you. If you want to become a better baker, right, and you're starting from zero, and you're making some fire banana bread, okay, your first batch, let's say it's, it's kind of Schmitterton, right? Someone tries it. They say, oh, dude, you got to add more sugar or something. You try it yourself and you're like, yeah, this, this banana bread is just not, it's not good. You look into some of the reasons as to why you could, you know, why it sucked. And one of them is that you didn't let it sit out of the oven long enough. You didn't let it kind of congeal. You didn't put it in the refrigerator to kind of get that nice, moist kind of density. You just, you cooked it, you took it out,

you just sliced it. Okay. Okay. Try to make another batch. You get you. You got. You give it to the same person to test. And again, they're like, ah, it's still mid, man. It's still mid. That is very discouraging to hear. And if you were internally thinking that, okay, if I just make some changes or I make another batch and they tell me that it's good, that is going to make me happy and that means I've made a good loaf of banana bread, you're not going to improve.

You're looking at the wrong thing to understand your improvement. Instead, what were the things you could control? Did you put it in the fridge after you cooked it? Did you let it sit out long enough? And when you tasted it, could you taste a difference? Those are the incremental changes that will lead you to be a goaded baker. And then you're at a family Thanksgiving dishing out banana bread because, you know, Mama wants some, Tata wants some, Bapcha wants some.

Goaded. You're goaded. But you don't do that if you do not recognize improvements in your patient. improvements in the act of devoting yourself to something. Sacrificing time is such a difficult thing for all of us because we don't have a lot of time. When we're younger, we have an illusion that in adulthood we will have more time. You don't. You don't.

You have bills to pay. You have people to please. Hopefully not that. You have, you know, things you want to do, places you want to travel, you know, a job, a family. All these things add up, and sooner than later, you actually have to start carving out some kind of time for yourself because you've wanted all of these things, because you have decided that you are interested in, you know, having an intense career. You wanted to be a consultant. I don't know why you would want to do that. I understand why.

But essentially, you get to a point where just life is life in. And I think the honest take that you got to have with yourself is realizing that when you devote yourself to something, you've got to devote your entire being to it. I remember my dad would always tell me, he's like, Zork, if you decide to dedicate your life to something,

you have to give it 110%. 110%. And I was always confused because I'm like, it should be just 100%. But now I kind of understand what that 10% is. It's the patience of being able to wait and do something when you don't see an immediate return.

Okay, Zerk, I'm devoted. I want to become a better writer this year. It's something that's been on my list. I just have not found a way to really internalize this goal and make it happen. What do I need to change in my mindset? What do I need to do differently? You have to realize that the only thing stopping you from being a better writer is your relationship to writing. And this is for anything. The only thing that is stopping you from becoming better at something is your relationship with it. Because probably right now, when you think about writing, you think of the negatives, you think of everything that could go wrong, how bad you could, you know, mess up your novel that you've spent three years just like putting to the side. You think of everything that could be terrible when in the reality, the only way that you are going to get better is through failure and through accepting. It will take a long time.

And this is, I think, the illusion that keeps a lot of us from actually pursuing something. It is this idea that it's not going to happen overnight, so why try? When in reality, the way in which you have envisioned yourself becoming this goaded writer, this next Hemingway, or whatever, that's not how it's going to happen. And the more that you have this chokehold, like, you know, Darth Vader level, you know, choke on your dream, the less it will become a reality and you will always just be disappointed as to how it's not going to happen. When in reality, you should, you know, seatbelt and you should enjoy the journey. And the journey will have turbulence, okay? This life is like a

747, all right? It might lose an engine and you might tilt a little bit and go somewhere else. But as you're flying through this journey, you'll realize you're seeing cool things. What's up? Things will change, right? Nothing will stay the same. And sometimes the things that do kind of pop into your life, the changes that do happen, they're actually for the better. They actually make things a lot cooler and a lot nicer. And it's all on how you are able to stay in your lane as things go wrong.

example what just happened right someone crashed my scene a whole family did but that's cool i have the patience i realize that over time these are things i have to get used to i have to just let happen and i have to figure out okay how can i change it in the future whatever but it's a part of it and i don't think that you should be complacent i don't i think that there's a a weird kind of like misunderstanding that oh just because i am going to accept when things change and how my life and flows that that is complacency. And I have actually beef with that. I think that having such a stark ownership over your vision can drive you nuts.

And I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's for everyone. I recognize that there are people that are true visionaries in our life that have something they really want to do and they will stop at nothing to do it. And I think that that is a beautiful thing. But it's also asking yourself, what do you have a genuine vision about? because I don't think it's everything. I don't think you need to vision board the type of book that you're going to write. I don't think you need to vision board the type of friends you're going to have.

I think you need to go out and throw yourself at the world a little bit and just see what's out there. For me, there was comfort in delusion because I lacked patience. There was comfort in locking myself in my bedroom when I was a teenager and creating a master plan of how I was going to, you know, become goaded. and flex on everyone for my hometown, when in reality, like, this stuff does not matter as much as you think it does. What really matters is your day-to-day happiness. Do you interact with people that inspire you?

Do you feel like you do something purposeful? Do you feel like you're happy and you genuinely are allowing yourself to learn? Because I think what happens is a lot of us become so laser-focused on a vision we get there and then we kind of go through the motions because we've done all the war. work when in reality the journey was the most fun part going to university that the year to year grind and learning and meeting people that was such a fun part of it not just getting the diploma that means nothing rose in lasagna medium power 15 minutes sounds like ojo time let's play feel the fun with play ojo the online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games what you win is

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Taste. View and enjoy. Via Rail. Love the Way. How do you stay patient when things are really bad? How do you stay patient when you feel like your life is just endless suffering? How do you stay patient if you don't have faith in the future? Yeah, it's a weird feeling because when you are in the depths of sucking, whoa, when you're in the depths of things sucking, that doesn't help.

When you are at your lowest, you can still make something happen for yourself, even when you feel terrible. Even when the goals that you had for yourself have gone out the window and you need to focus on something completely different. And the way that you do it is you have to lower the threshold of what you expect out of yourself. Because if you are battling through depression, if you're battling through this anxiousness of like, what is my future going to be like, what am I going to do? How is my life going to look like? I think that you are lacking action. Your brain is hijacking all of your functions to worry. And it's doing it in a pretty reasonable facet.

It's scared. It's fear. So obviously you're going to feel impatient. You're going to want things to do right now. You've got to focus on things that will give you some kind of satisfaction in your control. And it's not, you know, not eating for a month. So you lose a bunch of weight and you look skinny. and you're like, you know, got a glam bod, because that's not sustainable.

It's got to be something that you can do practices that you can like just do right now. For me, a huge thing when I was really in my, when I was really down bad, when it got really rough, which was in like 2021, that was really probably the lowest year of my life. I turned to journaling. I turned to journaling because it was the only thing I knew I could do consistently. The gym, oh, man. that was hard. I still tried, but I just couldn't do it. Journaling was something I could do every day. It was a small commitment. It took 15 minutes, and I didn't, I told myself that was the only thing I was not going to try to be perfect at.

Little did I know that was going to be basically the entire life lesson I've been put on this earth to realize, that if you try to do something perfectly, you'll never end up doing anything. So for me, it was that practice. And I built things around that to give me a routine. When I would journal, I would make myself a cup of coffee, and I would go out of my way to change my scenery when I would journal. For me, when I was at home, that meant I'm not journaling in my room. I'm going to go downstairs into the living room where I can be seen with my parents,

and I can just, like, journal, listen to some music that they're playing. But that is my time. When I went to college and I went to Georgia, there was a little lobby that my apartment had where they had free coffee. And so I would go downstairs with my mug. I'd make my little free coffee. I would write. I would journal.

And that became my little routine that I would do every day. It was that little me time that I would go out of my way to enjoy. And that's something that you'll realize. When you start to do something consistently and when you stop focusing so much on what the goal is and you just kind of surrender to the process, your patience, stops worrying so much because you begin to build evidence for the fact that you can do whatever it is to achieve your goal. For me, I really wanted to finish this big journal, right? But I was always stressing about how am I going to finish it? This is like 300 pages.

Instead of focusing on like, oh my goodness, there's so much work to do, I just focused on the page. How can I make the page the best? And maybe this is something that a lot of us kind of miss is that We get so wrapped up in these big visions of our life that we don't even tend to our own garden. You want a kingdom, but nobody's willing to build the walls to have a kingdom in. You want the world, but you're not even willing to interact with the one that you've been given here and see what kind of beauty there is right in our immediate circle. Patience also comes from the fact that people give up on dreams way too early, and they jump ship. They think to themselves, well, I moved to this new city, and I've met.

no friends, but they can't have the honesty to ask themselves, have I done enough? Have I done enough? Have I really exhausted all of my options? And there's a good chance you have it because I had the same mindset of like, wow, I cooked myself. This isn't what I thought it was going to be. Nothing is ever what you think it's going to be. It's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible. But it's also real.

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Tuesday, April 28th and Wednesday, April 29th. Open your PC optimum. to get your coupon. Okay. Allowing yourself to be excited and surprised is the gift that you can actually count on. It's the one thing that makes patience worth it. And in the meantime, finding ways to just enjoy whatever moment you're in right now, whether that's you feel on top of the world, you started your new year going to the gym,

you feel really good, you had some great Christmas gifts that you got. You got that MacBook bracelet. I've been flexing this everywhere. I just think it's so cool, dude. It's by unjust jewelry, not a plug. But, man, they make great stuff. I'm not sponsored, but wow. Good, good jewelry.

Maybe it means also recognizing right now, dude, your life sucks. You're living with your parents and you don't want to. You go to a school that is just draining. It's a commuter school. Nobody wants to talk to each other. I would also ask you to realize, that like your time in these spaces is very limited and by you automatically telling yourself wow

that this this this experience I'm going to have here is going to be one way you don't even allow yourself to just kind of try to change things or see things through a different lens because I'm sure that there are people that are at a commuter school too and they're having the time of their life because they've gone out of their shell they've recognized they don't have a lot of time here so I'm going to make the most out of it there are always two sides to every coin and And the reality is, instead of focusing on what side you're on, just recognize it will keep flipping. That one day it might be heads, one day it might be tails. And instead of getting wrapped up in what I'm going to get, maybe enjoy flipping the coin.

Because that's fun. That's what you can control. You can't control what side it's going to land. You can control how you flick it, right? Look at the flick at the wrist, the wrist. You can focus on what kind of coin you have. but at the end of the day, we're so wrapped up in results when the process is what matters. And this is where patience is going to be your friend.

If you know how to be patient, if you know how to have a good process and how to have a good routine and set good habits for yourself, you don't even have to worry about the goal. If you can look towards the things that matter to you right now, let's say, I want to dress better. That's a huge thing that I think a lot of us struggle with is we don't like our body type. We think we look weird in clothing. We want to have more clothing. That's not always the answer. Maybe the answer is changing like where you get your clothing. Maybe you don't need to buy really expensive stuff because it's not fitting you correctly. Maybe instead you got to go thrift a little bit, find a good tailor, you know, support some local bidness that way. Or maybe you get to design your own clothes. Maybe that's the avenue you've got to go down and figure out. Again, when you surrender to whatever process that you are using to achieve your dream, whatever thing, that you know you can do on a day to day on a small scale,

I think that's where the actual improvements come. That's where you can actually be like, okay, I'm living the dream every day. It might not be at the level that I want, but it's something. Because what a lot of people don't want to do is they don't want to feel their ego be like, this isn't good enough. But you have to defeat that if you want any kind of progress in the first place. So now that you're starting the year and you have kind of a clean slate,

maybe you can let go of these desires that you have for a relationship, for wanting to have some kind of crazy amount of money, for wanting to have some kind of clout or something, and you can just focus on what you have right now. What are the things that you can see? And I don't mean that you shouldn't believe in something bigger for yourself. I think that manifestation and setting out intentions is a really beautiful thing. And that's something you can do. But also I think that they are dangerous. They are very easy things to get obsessed with and dopamine farm. That's, I think, something that people deal with a lot is that they just spend their dopamine

on imagining themselves, living the life they want instead of humbling themselves and realizing how difficult it is to go after things that you want. Zerky Show, it's 2026. You decide how you're going to live this year. I can only tell you what I think is right, but you've got to figure it out on your own. One thing, though, I can tell you time and time again. is instead of worrying when something is going to happen, just enjoy that you're doing it. That's what matters.

When I look back at how obsessed I was at winning games or winning at life, I honestly miss times where I could have enjoyed being with my friends more, hanging out, doing things that matter to me. And now I take those things a lot more seriously, and I just realize that my day-to-day is what matters. The goal will take care of itself if the work is being. done. So be patient and realize that that is where you're going to learn in acting every single day. Zirky Show. Today's episode of The Zirky Show is filmed in beautiful Orlando, Florida, during sunset. If you're ever in the United States, Florida, you got to see it. It is gorgeous. Did you know that the Zirky Show is everywhere you go? That is correct. You can watch it. You can

scroll it. You can stream it. The choice is yours. If you want to tap in, there are ways to tap in on every platform everywhere you go. Do the things that bring you joy. Enjoy this new year. Spend it with people that you like, that you love. But take time for yourself. Have you given yourself a few hours to jot down some ideas of what you want your year to look like? Have you taken a serious attempt at making some kind of vision board for yourself?

Or figuring out what are the small changes I want to make that I think will improve my year. If you don't give yourself this time, you'll never do it and you'll have another Groundhog Day level loop where you just live the same year over. and I don't want that for you. Zerkees Show, this is the year of change and doing things for ourselves. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. And as always, I'm sending all of you lots of love and peace.