the zurkie show - you know this relationship is over

Episode Date: December 27, 2025

is it worth fixing if you can't?is it worth being lied to over and over again?is it worth holding on to the maybe's and what if's ?no. it's not.but it's always worth a conversation.tell them how you feel.sending you all lots of loves and peaaaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

The longer you wait to break up with somebody, the worse it'll get. Because you will begin to resent them. You will begin to realize all of their flaws that before the rose-tinent glasses kind of covered up, and you will begin to really despise the fact that you ever had anything to do with the person you were in a relationship with. There is a good chance that right now you are realizing that the Titanic ship is sinking. You thought that it was indestructible that you two would last, a summer fling that has now been a little bit too long, maybe a year or two too, too long. And you are finally at the stage in your mind where you have come to terms of the fact that

this is not your soulmate. They never were, they never will be. And as many times as you try to bring up these problems to them and talk to them and try to find common ground, it's just a waste of time. I just want to tell you you will be okay. I know. You've found. You feel like you are under a hydraulic press of pressure and that you are going to crack and all of the things in your relationship are going to ooze out and you are going to lose your mind. And although that could happen, I want to potentially prevent that a little bit. It's okay you don't like them. It's okay that you are admitting to yourself now.

You never liked them. And that you saying, I love you, was more of a people pleasing act than it was. was the truth. That's okay. We've all done that. And if you haven't, you will. We all have to go through this moment of being disingenuous with our emotions because we want to be accepted. We want to feel loved. And sometimes that comes at the cost of other people. Where I think you need to draw the line in the sand is realizing that you are just wasting each other's time. And if you know in your mind that the ship is sinking, why are you trying to stop it? It's inevitable. It's inevitable. It's going to combust. Your relationship is not going to survive if you two just like each other because you had

similar interests and similar fashion taste. That is not what real relationships that last 20, 30, 40 years are built on. And maybe you have to come to terms with the fact that that you don't want a relationship and you never did and this was just an easy way forgive me for being you know kind of vulgar in the way i'll paint this picture for you of getting some action okay you wanted to get some action and now you are left in this relationship feeling like where did i go wrong there will never be a perfect time to break up with somebody but where you can be good enough is in your honesty and in your expression of how you feel. Because maybe you are comparing your relationship to everyone around you.

And of course you are going insane. You are seeing the highlight reel of everybody else's life and how beautiful of, you know, a romantic getaway they go on. And you aren't seeing the arguments they have as they're boarding the plane. And then the next 12 hours of their flight is them sitting each other, you know, sitting across each other, criss-cross arms being pissed off. These are the parts of the relationship that nobody will show you because it's not glamorous. And maybe this is your first relationship where you are truly having some

turmoil, you're truly having some disagreements, and maybe you're realizing this is not my person. Again, I don't want you to feel guilty about that, but you need to do something about it. The lack of accountability in just stringing somebody along, it is hurtful. And it is a terrible habit to get into. And so many people in our generation have this habit because they just can't say no. They just can't say, I'm not interested, man. I don't want this. I thought you were somebody that you aren't.

And I romanticized you. And I'm sorry for that, but both of us deserve to find our person. But instead, we play these games. We create these hoops. We tell them, oh, I need you to act this way if you want to be my partner, which is, it's just an expectation that will never come true. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time.

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But isn't the whole point of progress to make things more human? That's why, at TD, when we design a product, whether it's an app for making trading easier or monitoring your account for fraud, we ask one simple question. How does this help people? That's how we're making banking more simple, more seamless, and more intuitive. But most importantly, that's how TD is making banking more human. You need to judge your relationship off of not when it's peachy and beautiful, and you two have had a beautiful date at a fast, casual dining restaurant,

like Olive Garden or something, and you stuffed your face with breadsticks. You need to judge your relationship. on the worst days? Are they as in tune with your life as you want them to be? Or are they doing the bare minimum because they know that you're not going to challenge it? You're not going to leave. You're comfortable.

Do you even care about them? Like the passions they have, the things that they've gone through in their life, the lore they've collected, is that something that interests to you that almost if you saw a bookshelf, at a public library, you could pick out their lore book and be like, I want to know everything about this book. I'm going to read it multiple times. Because that's what it takes. And if you're

hearing this and you're just like, no, I really do not care again. That's okay. But stop lying to yourself. It doesn't have to be the thing that is the stamp on your entire life. You are an individual that has many experiences. You are going to go through many different challenging moments. And maybe your life has been fairly easy. Maybe it's been extremely hard. You will need your partner to not be a distraction, but to be a rock. Not to be a pebble, but to be a rock. and when the stream changes, the rock will stay and it'll help the flow. But if you just have a distractive partner,

if you just have somebody that's fun to, you know, fun to keep around, but not be around, you know it's cooked. It's not even medium rare. It's well done at this point. So let's move. Let's go.

You got to cut people loose. If you truly, respect yourself and you love yourself. You've got to cut people loose. You've got to tell that person that you're not interested anymore and you have to stop wasting their time. And also, I think there's something to be said about being able to work with someone if you truly love them, if you truly see potential in them, if you truly are like you can do this, but also if you get to a point where you can't do anymore, where you don't feel loved anymore in your relationship, you just, you can feel that they are dealing with their own things. And

and you just you you've lost yourself there is no more common ground between both of you you have to know when to leave and it's a difficult thing because what if you do actually really love somebody what if you do actually see the best in them but they don't see it for themselves well you know that song if you love them let them go bro was spitting straight facts he was if you love me let me go it's such a funny song I've referenced multiple times, but it is genuinely factos. You got one life. You can't spend it with people that are going to drag you down, that are going to keep you in place, that are going to make false promises. You can't spend your life waiting for somebody to change

for you when they don't want to. And I think there is something about giving people grace and, you know, an open conversation and if somebody wants to change allowing for that to happen, but you also have to know that it's very difficult for people to change. And if you are wishing on that, it might not happen. It might not happen. And you have to now decide, are you okay with that? Are you okay with the person that you're with not becoming the ideal version of them that you have in your mind that you can see all their, you know, all their good qualities, but they just want to dog on themselves all day. Are you okay in a reality where they do not change? Even though they've said, I'm going to be better. I'm going to improve myself. Yes, I'm going to do these things.

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And enjoy. Via rail. Love the way. And if you are, congratulations, I think you truly love that person because you take them for face value, take them for who they are right now, and even if they go through a terrible time, a time where they need you to be on FaceTime with them every single day because they are alone, they are lonesome,

and they just need somebody there, beautiful, beautiful. But if the answer is, no, what are you doing then staying in this relationship? What are you doing? are you willing to suffer through the relationship that you have right now if it's mid if you don't feel appreciated you don't feel like the efforts that you naturally give get reciprocated and instead it kind of gets muddled you feel like they just don't they're not putting in the same effort and it's not even on some different different love love you feely other people love to give gifts some people love to be crafty some other people love to take their significant other on, you know, airplane rides. I've seen that all over recently and that's super cool. I'm very jealous of that. That's pretty awesome. But it comes down to you. It always does and it always will. So what if in your mind when you take away all the noise, when you take away all of your friends telling you, why would you break up with them? They're so good for you. What do you

mean that you don't like? No, you guys are meant for each other when you take away all the pressure that your family is putting on you to have a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, whatever, when you just sit with your emotions and you realize, I cannot spend more time with this person. I just can't. And it's not even that they're making me feel bad. It's not even that I feel disgusted by them. I just can't.

I don't know why, but something in me is just telling me, this is not good for me. Then listen. Do yourself a favor and listen. When you admit that, It kind of opens up a little bit of a Pandora's box because then it's the question of what do I do, Zerky. What do I do? How do I actually move into a call to action breaking up with my partner if we have like, you know, six months, three months a year, two years, three years, six, seven years.

What do you do? I think the first step is you need to have a conversation. That's always what it is. And you have to go into this conversation with an intention, and that intention, you have to decide what it is. Because for some of us, we know. It's breakup time. There is nothing this person can tell us. There is nothing they can do. Even if they try to go on their knees and be like, please, you can't. We're done.

Okay. That needs to be your intention and you have to solidify it and go into that conversation, making that this statement. I want to break up. Let's talk about it. And that needs to be the anchor. If you feel like, well, I don't want to break up with them. I want to give them a chance, but I am feeling, I'm not feeling seen. I feel like I'm a ghost in our relationship. And all I did in the past was get ghosted. So what the heck? Then that needs to be the anchor of your conversation going in with your partner, you need to, that needs to be the first thing you bring up. Hey, I'm not feeling good about the fact that we don't spend enough time together that instead of prioritizing our relationship,

you've prioritized your friendships, which I respect, but it's, it's just not, the math is not mathing, okay? I want to spend time with you, and I only get to spend one day out of the entire week with you because the other four, you're with the bros, you're golfing, you're hanging out, you're going to Sephora with the girlies, great. Where's my time? Where can we actually build something? Because right now it just feels hollow. There's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real.

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Well, I said it, Zerk. I told them. But you aren't listening. You aren't actually taking in the information that your partner is giving you. And instead, you're making assumptions. Because they say, oh, I'll just try harder. Oh, my bad on that. Okay.

what are we going to do? Because you saying, I'll be better. That means nothing. It means nothing. There's nothing about that. Oh, you know, I'm going to turn this around. You know, I'm willing to try. Get out of here.

I'm willing to try. Do you hear that? I am willing to try. Not that I'm going to try or I'm, we're changing this. I'm willing. Potentially I could try. I'm telling you right now, bro, anyone that tells you I'm willing to try, they're lying to you.

I'll save you the time for you. They're not going to try. They're not. They just want to patch up, you know, the hole in the ship so it can keep sailing a little bit when the entire structure is going to destroy and decay. What if you're afraid to lose them? What if you're afraid that if you actually listen to yourself, you're going to make a really bad choice and you're going to regret it for the rest of your life what if you are with the

one and there is no other girl that can replace them there is no other boy that is comparable to that what if this is your one shot it's a pressure that i feel you know it's something i deal with because there have been people that i was like this is how can it get any better than this And it's a difficult thing. The truth is you have to have faith that you're making the right decision. And you have to have faith that you're not just deciding to quit on something good because it has gotten hard. What? Pause for Zoom.

You have to decide and realize that your relationship is never going to be peop. each is and roses all day. There will be periods of it where you guys are cold to each other. There will be periods of it where one of you is going through some, you know, life turmoil. And the other one just needs extra support. Where I think we go wrong is we like to immediately jump to the worst conclusion. We like to think, well, because our relationship is hard right now, it means it will forever be difficult. And that might be true. Zirky Show, it might be true.

I'm not going to tell you that, well, it could pass, because that all depends on you and your partner. It all depends on seeing if they're going to change. But again, it's so easy to take a negative time in your relationship and start to think that your entire thing is ruined. when in reality it could just be a tough time. So how do you differentiate the two? You need to trust your gut.

You need to trust and believe in something that doesn't exist yet. And that is really the true test of love, I think. Do you have faith in your partner? Do you have faith in your relationship? Do you have faith in the fact it will get better? Do you have faith in the idea that your partner does, does care about you. They want the best for you. And although it might be difficult right now, they're working to make it better for the both of you. Because I think people throw away really good

things. I've been tempted to throw away really good things and I have thrown away really good things because I was afraid because I was scared because I did not have the patience. And instead I compared all of the negative that I had stacked up over time against someone's relationship online that was picture perfect. And then months later, I think, wow, I did, I, I fumbled that. This was a terrible decision. I don't know why I did this. This is really, really bad. In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour. employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields like software development and information technology learn more at about amazon.ca And again listen even if you make that mistake it's okay we have to learn you know people talk about forgiveness maybe they will forgive you maybe they won't maybe it's a lesson in disguise you you

won't know that until you go through it. If you are convinced that you no longer like the person you're with and in your mind you are at a point of no return, I do urge you that you have a conversation, that you don't just end it out of the blue. I think that you two deserve to speak. Unless you have certain circumstances where you don't want to see this other person because it would, you know, make you feel disgusting or terrible, then a text is fine. But I do think if both of you have had some kind of interest in this relationship, you've grown it, you deserve to know what's going to happen with the plant. And listen, like, maybe this was just supposed to be one thing.

Pathos, okay, they grow these beautiful vines. They're one of my favorite plants. you can propagate them. You can take one of the vines and make a bunch of different plants with it. And maybe this relationship and this experience is just one of those vines. Do it for the vine.

I ain't going to do it. Do it for the vine. I ain't going to do it. It's one of those vines that you need to cut off, put it in a new pot of water, and find new soil so you can grow it with a different person who's actually right for you.

Zirky Show. But till that, What do you do? It's up to you. But just know, make a decision, have a conversation, and don't just assume that things are going to change over time, because they won't. They won't unless you bring it up

and you specify what it is that's on your mind and that you need clarification on. You explain that you need more reassurance in your relationship. You need to feel more loved, and you don't feel that way. And I understand, like, for me as a dude, it's it's an uncomfortable conversation to say i want to be cuddled more okay i don't like to admit it but there is strength in admitting that and telling your partner up front hey i need i just need more intimacy i just need to you know i need you to cook dinner once this week okay i i really would would

appreciate that i i need you to listen to me instead of being on your phone please once I understand. I yapper a lot and I make jokes. Let's just have a conversation once and figure this out. But till then, Zerky Show, I wish you the best of luck. Let me know what ends up happening, what pickle you're in, how you're going to eat it, or if you're going to throw it away, I could go for a nice, like, kosher pickle right now with like a Chicago hot dog for Portillo's. Talk to me, nice, Zerky Show.

Talk to me nice Today's episode of the Zirky Show was filmed In the beautiful mountains Of Cripple Creek, Colorado If you're ever in the United States of America Come to Colorado, it is an S-tier state Beautiful mountains, beautiful lakes, beautiful people All across the state

Did you know that the Zirky Show Is everywhere you go? That is correct. You can watch it, you can scroll, you can stream it, the choice is yours. If you want to tap in, these are the best ways to tap in. Do the things that bring you joy. Can we get much higher? So high. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Listen to some classic albums that make you feel something, okay? For me, I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music, even though it's past Christmas.

I just really like the soul and the joy that comes to the holidays. If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you in as always. Zirky Show, I'm sending you all lots of love and Oh.