the zurkie show - you let your mind ruin it

Episode Date: June 21, 2025

don't assume, find out for yourself.sending you all love and peaaaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

I hate assumptions. No, not assumptions by Sam Galletry. That's a banger song. I'm talking about assumptions that people make about other people or about themselves. Here's why. They're not real. That's the main thing. They're not real.

You are walking on a college campus. You see somebody that's cute. You want to say what's up. Oh, but they got their AirPods in. Oh, but, oh, no, I'm ugly. That's an assumption. That's not real. But why do we believe it's real?

Why are we so convinced it's real? It's a good question. And I am somebody who lived my life off of assumptions for a long time to the point where I could not do anything because I was just assuming that either I was in the wrong, I was a bad person, I couldn't make mistakes because I needed to be perfect all the time, yada, yada, yada. It's like, bro, the evidence, the evidence at the end of the day is what backs it up. And it's, I think, the way in which we view the evidence that we decide our assumptions are legit. Let me explain. For a long time, I thought that I was ugly.

part of it was the fact that I had instances where I felt less than my partner. I had instances where I was belittled as a partner and I was kind of made fun of in a very small way, but you know how things go. Like when I would go through these emotions in a relationship, instead of addressing them and addressing the person that was saying like these nasty things about me, I internalized it because I thought that doing anything about it or showing any kind of emotion was weakness. I didn't want to be weak in my relationships. I wanted to be strong man.

And so I seeked out media that kind of validated the way that I felt, right? And opinions that were very much of the mind that they're right. They're right. I am ugly. That's why people are treating me this way. it's not that I've picked a really bad person to befriend or to get in a situation ship with that was giving me red flags since before we were a thing it was that I was ugly that was the problem and let's be so for real pretty privilege is a thing let's not act like it's not I mean come on now

but assuming that all of your problems come from your looks or they come from the way in which you look to other people, that's an assumption. That's an assumption. It's a dangerous assumption because guess what? This starts to infect your mind and it starts to be the basis for how you see yourself, for how you see other people. Your relationships become transactional because you think they're transactional. Your relationship with yourself becomes eroded because you think you're ugly and there's no way to fix that. And no matter how much mugging you do or no matter how much running on a calorie deficit you try you will forever be ugly how is TD making banking more human easy with less bank talk and more real talk less your call is important to us and more how can we help less confusion and more clarity it's things like

being able to buy partial shares with TD direct investing and tracking your spending and saving with TD MySpend. It's getting more of what you want and less of what you don't. That's how TD is making banking more human. But again, that's an assumption. And with that one assumption, what it made me do is it made me build out a assumptive reality of my life. I was like, okay, so I'm ugly.

Okay. That means I'll never find anybody. So there's no point in trying to shut. up for another person, okay, so I can kind of show up for myself, maybe, but I don't really, I mean, I'm ugly, so it's cooked, and so what's the point? I might as well just let myself go. I might as well just not even entertain doing things that are good for myself. There's no point. This way of thinking destroyed my life for two, three years. Through all of college, I was so self-conscious about how I looked and how I came off to other people. I became so just self-conscious.

destructive because I made this assumption and I let this experience define who I was. So how did I change it? Because I'm not that way anymore. Am I Matt Damon level looking? Brad Pitt looking? No. Michael B. Jordan? Chiseled?

No, I'm not. But I'm all right. I'm good. I'm working with what I've got and I'm not complaining about it. how did I get to this point? I got to this point, Zerke's show, by first realizing that it was an assumption. And the way in which you realize that this is an assumption

is by first really analyzing where this kind of feeling or this self-limiting belief is coming from. I didn't really understand that it was coming from this relationship. I just thought that it was facts. he's spitting straight facts right but it was it was because like I wanted to be admired by my partner

I wanted to be accepted by them and I didn't get that and no matter how many relationships I went through after that I was still kind of looking at myself of the veil of like well if anything goes wrong then I just have more evidence to back up the fact that I am ugly and I am worthless and

etc etc right And when I pinpointed that, I was kind of left with a choice. I was like, okay, well, this is the underlying opinion that has been ruling over my life for like the past three years. And I'm really unhappy with how I am. If I continue to believe this, I will stay the same. But if I tell myself that you know what, I'm not ugly. I'm me. What will happen?

because I don't know what that looks like I don't know what that looks like and maybe I can take the train down a different railroad and it'll show me a different scene and Zerkei show this is what happened when I changed this belief within myself

and even though I could not have the evidence yet I didn't have any backlog evidence that backed up this claim when I started believing that you know what I am worthy and I am I'm all right the world around me

started to kind of shift. It was odd. I started to notice that because I was like, all right, I'm not ugly. I wanted to dress nicer. I just wanted to put something on. Didn't have to be crazy, you know, but I entertained the thrift store a little bit more, and I started seeking out different pieces, and I was doing it mainly for me. I was like, well, you know what? Hey, I don't look too bad. I started to treat my diet a little bit better. Because I was like, you know what? I respect myself. I have this self-respect.

I maybe shouldn't be facing a whole bag of checks mix every night. That's probably not a good thing. I also had an unlimited dining hall pass in college, and I was eating like I was going to Golden Corral every night, and it was awesome. Oh, my gosh, I miss it to this day. Again, I was picking up these nuggets of evidence. And this was evidence that was real.

It was real. It was in the moment. And in the same way that I had made an assumption that was negative and I was filtering out my experiences to only back up the negative, I started to look back at old photos of myself. This was the craziest part. Photos where I used to think, geez, I look like a walrus. I look like I'm 40 pounds overweight. And I started to look at it and be like, wait, I look good in this. Like, what's going on here?

I don't look too bad. Eye opening. Eye opening. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only.

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because I realized that I had essentially nerfed myself. I had essentially made an assumption that lowered my confidence to the point where I couldn't even appreciate the good things I had. I couldn't appreciate like the hairstyle that I had. had that was kind of kind of nice or a night out that I took photos at and I was with my friends and you know I it was surreal to me that in the moment I was so destructive and I was so dismissive of anything good that I had I was like I'm such I'm a loser I'm a loser and to then start living

my life and in in the way that that I wanted to, like with the idea that like I'm worthy of this and I'm good looking. And even if I have an off day, even if the hair line is a little, it's looking like the shining, it's chill. Like, it's cool. I'm existing. I'm here on this planet and I have good friends, good people around me that want me to succeed. That gratitude started to bring me the evidence that I needed all along. and Zirky Show there's a good chance

you have the evidence to back up whatever you want to believe about yourself right now. It's just your filter. Your assumptive filter has made this reality for you where you cannot see it. You can't. You are in the valley of these mountains and you want to peer over

to look but you can't. You just can't. And you might listen to this and think, okay, well, Zerk, I can't really do much. I am still cooked. I am still feeling mid about myself and okay, that's fair. There's nothing wrong with that. But why stay there? Why stay there? Because I stayed there for years and I regret it.

I regret that I let assumptions rule over my life. And I regret the fact that I listened to a bunch of these things of like, if you're not good looking, don't go up to people. What in the world? I listened to some really dark things and some dark opinions, and I started to believe that the world was one way, when in reality, when I started to really be okay with who I was, the world is a really beautiful place. The filter is what got me.

No Rio de Janeiro. Okay? I know some of you guys know what I'm talking about. No filter. Like, there is something beautiful about having the confidence to be. who you are. Unequivocally, there is something beautiful about somebody who knows they have flaws, who knows that they aren't perfect, but they still live this life anyways in grace. And I think I'm slowly getting to that point. It, you know, it's crazy. It's still a process. There's still

internal dialogues I have that I'm like, where is this coming from? Like, this is really, really rough and there are still moments where I make assumptions about people I don't even know because they're a mirror to the turmoil that's within myself. It's really what it is. Oftentimes when you don't like somebody, it's kind of reminding you something about yourself that you don't like. And maybe it's just exaggerated in another person. But assumptions are just believing blind they're believing blind things. And a lot of us assume things about each other. A lot of us assume that we can't talk to somebody with AirPods in.

Yes, you can. Yes, you can. You can absolutely. Dude, the amount of times that I had my AirPods in, somebody came up, said what up, and I was like, thank you. It's unreal. Now, you got to feel things out. Sometimes people don't want to be bothered, but it's better to ask

and have them be like, hey, no, not right now. then just make an assumption and be like nobody wants to talk to me everyone thinks i'm weird and i want to start conversations with random people and that's a weird thing it's not a weird thing it's it's really not a weird thing like we're human we are supposed to talk to one another that is like the point of anyways don't let these these descriptions of yourself in your mind torment you don't let this happen don't let these assumptions that are cherry-picking from your past or cherry picking evidence from your present be the thing that determines who you are and how you move through this world because it's it's not true it's just not true you are living in a falsehood and listen do you kind of gaslight yourself the other way like did i kind of gaslight myself the other way absolutely i did absolutely i won't sit here and act like this is the right way no i had moments where i had to be like even though i don't feel good about who I am right now, I'm still believing in this. It is the belief, though. That is what changes

your perspective on this reality. And if you do believe the negative about you and you do believe that that is just all you bring to this world, that is all you will see. That is all you will see. And I don't know about you, man. Life is already as hard as it gets. Like, maybe it's worth it to cut ourselves a little bit of slack and just believe some of the good. Just some of us. Just some of it. All right? Just believe you're a little bit goaded because you are. You are a little bit goaded. Everyone's a little bit goaded. Stop nerfing yourself. And man, you know, some of the assumptions about what you're able to do and how you're able to have an impact in this world and what your purpose is. I have no purpose for anything. It's like nobody just knows these things. It takes a lot of time and

patience to figure these things out and you're putting so much pressure on yourself to figure all these things out by 21 what are you crazy calma rinaldo has a celebration calma that's this celebration to you right now calma calm down calm down bro you don't need to find your husband by 22 or 21 you don't don't that is an assumption you have assumed that because you maybe you you see people in your hometown and they're just getting married left and right because they just graduated college or whatever hey happens right or maybe like you're just seeing everybody do more than you but you are assuming that they're doing more than you you are assuming that they have everything together no they don't for a fact i know they don't you know why because nobody does nobody does

maybe i'm making an assumption that nobody does maybe everybody does you see how assumptions are they go both ways. They go both ways. Make the assumption that's best for you though. Make the one that's best for you and try to try to do it. I'm going to assume with my mind that this person in the dining hall that low key I find kind of cute, they would enjoy if I just chatted them up. Even if I don't get their number, I'm on no Marlin, you know, Fais Lacey Riz. I just want to talk. to them, I assume that they will enjoy the conversation I bring. Act on it. When you have that assumption, you can act on it.

But if you assume the other, no, no, no, no, they're not interested. No, no, they're, it's out of my league. Come on. You never, you'll never know. Like, you, I mean, maybe you're right, I guess. You can, you can cherry pick the situation and be like, no, they were on their phone. No, no, they were on their, uh, they were listening. to a podcast for two seconds, and that means that they didn't want to talk to me.

No, they were eating a salad, which means that they were locked in. Like, your mind just finds the craziest things to back up this claim, this assumption. And that's an assumption. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette. with a flame thrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk.

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View and enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. So don't make assumptions and just figure it out in the same way, positively. Like, the good assumptions only work if you act on them and you use it as motivation to be like, all right, let's see what's up. Like, let's see if this person is cool. I'm assuming they're cool, but let's actually find out. What?

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Dude, assumptions can change your life. They can make your life incredible. They can make your life incredibly bad. How many people do you know that have really low confidence in themselves? They have really low confidence in their life. art or you know how they are in their intellectual level i had a lot of friends who were really really

smart people but they put a lot of worth into how smart they were and they would underplay their their smarts oh my gosh there were so many people too that'd be like oh i i totally failed that exam and they'd get an a every time why are you lying to me i know you got an a you studied for 20 hours like i know you did well And I'm mad because I would study for, you know, two hours the day before and I'd get a C. Bruh. Because I would assume that the test was easy. But there's stuff from the other chapter that the teacher said there wasn't going to be nothing from the other chapter.

And then there is. Bruh. Anyways. Don't make assumptions in dating. Oh, this is a big one. Let's get down this rabbit hole. Don't make assumptions about your partner, that your partner is trying to do things to deliberately. sabotage your relationship.

Call it out. Call it out. Because if it's true, you will see the signs. But if you make assumptions and you're like, no, no, they're doing this. Oh my gosh. They're talking to this person and you don't clear it up. You are just assuming and you are going to create a really deep hole of insecurity to pull yourself out

of. That's just facts. Now, if they are being suss and they're being weird, okay. That's not an assumption. You got some evidence to back up. But don't assume the worst. Like, you need to address it where it's at. Because what if it's a miscommunication, genuinely?

What if it's something that you can work out? But instead, you've snowballed this into a big, big thing of resentment. Dude, sometimes that level of resentment you cannot recover from. You can't. There's nothing you can do. You have dug yourself pretty, pretty deep. Don't be that person. don't let yourself be disrespected in a relationship obviously but don't let your insecurities become

projected without addressing them first and talking about them being like hey you talk to this guy a lot i'm just curious what's going on i'm not making an assumption but i just want to know because i'm a little bit insecure that maybe there's something going on between us that we got to address and you're finding emotional support in this guy and I'm his arch nemesis so obviously he's going to try to steal my girl that's like how it works or I don't know maybe you just like are assuming that you are together clear it up clear it up please hey the what are we text will save you so much time I promise you because if if it's meant to be yeah you know hey I want to go on dates with you let's go on dates.

Or if it's, uh, I'm not really interested, whatever. I mean, like, we can hang out. Clear it up.

Come on, Zerky Show. You got this. Uncomfortable text to send, though. Geez, maybe do it in person. But that's also uncomfortable.

So I don't know. Whatever is best for you, because I'm not going to lie. I'm a big proponent of in person things, but I am so for real. I've had to run the text meta a few times. I've had to. I've had to.

I'm not proud of it, though. I'm not proud of it. And, And since then, I've vowed to myself, I'm like, now call or in person only. But listen, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do. Like, come on. You're on a girl's trip in Cabo?

I mean, I'm not going to blame you. Listen, the girls' trip to Cabo is the equivalent of the guys' Europe trip. Let's just call it what it is. Or maybe that's an assumption. Because if it's love that you want I'll give you everything I lost my voice Shout out Sam Galletry for the one time

Yeah Assumptions man Assumptions kill dreams too You assuming that you just don't have what it takes Or you're not ready Oh she wasn't ready You will never be ready People you will never be ready

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you making an assumption that it's not that easy and you actually have to make this master plan and you can't just like learn from doing the thing and actually being an apprentice getting your hands dirty in something you have to plan everything out that's an assumption that is not how this works because once you actually start going after what you want you want to do photography you start taking photos you want to sing you start recording your yourself on FL or on logic, then you realize how much work there is and what kind of work you need to do. Because a lot of us get stuck in this perfectionism prep phase. I need the best things. I need to have the best education to do something. I need to do. You don't. You really don't. All you need is that

mindset shift of I am doing this now. I am doing this now and I am not stopping until I am done with doing it today. And when I finish, I will smile, take a photo, and then I'm going to go to sleep and do it all over again tomorrow. But that assumption, that assumption that I'm not ready, you will never, you will never be ready. You just won't. I mean, I wish there was like a, I don't know, a button or something that could be like,

you could press the button and you're ready. but no no you're ready right now I mean it's just fear you're scared and that's okay there's a lot of things

to be scared of dude putting yourself out there is scary dating is scary being honest with somebody about how you feel about them is scary um

man being an adult is scary all the time but you've got to do it because what's your alternative zirky show what you're going to live in assumptions I'd rather find out for myself and I think you would too. So get a move on, assume the best, and let the rest be the test.

Let the rest be the test. Let the actual action show you what the truth is. Because if you keep making assumptions, I'm reminding you. And that's only an assumption. And that's not your reality. Today's episode of the Zirky Show was filmed in Cripple Creek, Colorado. If you ever in Colorado, you want to see some beautiful mountains come out to Cripple Creek. It was an old gold mining town, still has a gold mine to this day. It's also just really beautiful out here. Big fan of the nature. Cripple Creek, tap in. Did you know that the Zerky Show is everywhere you go? That is correct. You can watch it. You can scroll it. You can stream it. The choice is yours. So if you want to tap in, these are the best ways to tap in. Do the things that bring you joy. And if you are from the

UK from, have some chippy chips with curry sauce. Okay. Come on. Let yourself live a little, get some takeaway. Bosch, love it. Outside of that Cirky show, if you're trying something new, just know I believe in you. And other than that, you already know the drill. I mean, famously, you know the drill. I am sending you lots of love and peace.

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