the zurkie show - you only focus on what’s wrong

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

let things be good.https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

Your life isn't all bad. You're just not used to acknowledging the good. That's a hard truth that I had to swallow because I was miserable, trying to improve all the time, trying to perform for other people, trying to be a version of myself that other people would love and enjoy. But no, that's not me. Skeptus said it. Why haven't we listened to it?

When things are okay, when things are good, why can't we just let things be good? It's because we've been conditioned to do everything opposite of this. I know you feel guilt celebrating something because you think, well, it could have been better. I struggle with this all the time. I know that you struggle with comparing yourself to other people in relationships,

even though you have a caring and loving partner. Why? because the idea of letting things be good has been equated to settling and to not doing enough. And that is in our society a bad thing. And it wasn't until I think I went to Europe this summer and I actually examined the lifestyle of my grandparents

who are very frugal, very simple people. They have simple pleasures, they read books, which is something I haven't done in years. I need to do that like yesterday. But one thing I've noticed about my grandparents is that they let things be good. Even when there's family drama, even when they feel like their world is collapsing, right?

They still let things be good. Something as simple as preparing themselves a nice bowl of ice cream at the end of the day was something that I never thought to do because my initial inclination was to say, I don't deserve ice cream. I still look fat.

I still look ugly. The biggest change in my life when I look at myself a couple years ago when I was in college and I was really just upset at myself, I was holding a lot of resentment towards the choices that I had made in my life, even though I was doing fine

to myself now, that I have learned to let things be good. And not try to yearn for more all the time, because that takes you out of the present. Every moment that you are just wondering and you are just like, man, if only I had this, man, if only I was in this place around these people, that's time that you take away from just enjoying

what you have in front of you. And oftentimes it isn't until after the fact that you realize that was the moment. Think about people that you've lost in your life. Not only people that have, you know, passed away, but friendships that you've maybe fumbled, moments with people that you kind of soured, right? Like, you look back at those moments

where you had those interactions, where in the moment you didn't really understand how important it was. It's only after it happens that you look back and you realize that was something special. So let things be good. How? Zerky.

How do we let things be good? First thing, let's address what I said earlier. Settling and acknowledging the good in the present are two different things, completely different things. I believe that settling, which is what a lot of people fear right, they're like, my biggest fear is that while I'm here on planet Earth, I don't do enough. I don't fulfill my potential.

Settling is the idea that you know deep down you have a feeling that you should be doing more or you should be doing something different. It doesn't always have to be more because sometimes it's not about the quantity of things you do, but maybe it's about the quality at which you approach them. It's the mindset that you approach to your work, to your school, to your friends, to your family. It doesn't have to be just the growth. It doesn't have to be your deadlift at the gym. No, it can just be the way in which you interact with your day-to-day.

For me, something that I was settling on was my nutrition. Yeah, I could eat an apple. Yeah, I could eat an orange. But honestly, you gave me an in-and-out double-double right in front of me. Five out of five times I would eat it. No questions asked. And I don't think that there's anything wrong with indulging. with a little in and out animal style.

You can let things be good, but deep down, I have a passion towards food. I love eating, and it's not just the action of eating. I like preparing food. I like the piece that I get from making a new recipe for myself. It doesn't have to be for somebody else, and, you know, call it woo-woo, but the energy transfer of me locking in on that piece of steak as I grill it or that kotlatshabovet that I put on the oil on the pan and just fry up.

There is an element of love that is just in that process. And that's unique to me. I had to realize that I was actually settling on the type of food that I was eating. and a lot of the time, my mindset towards preparing food was that, that's such a wasted time. But that's not something that I actually believed in. It was something that was told to me by people, because around me were people that didn't really value cooking

in the same way that I did. And visiting my grandparents, you know, they cook everything from scratch. It made me realize, dang, I need to cook more. And not even let them cook, but just, like let him cook for himself and for others and I need to let myself learn. This is this is an avenue that I can learn more about myself, learn about the world through food. Now that is an example of where I was settling and how I changed it. You need to look inward and you need to basically what it all comes down to is you need to be honest with yourself and that is the

hardest thing. Because let's be real, we don't want to hear it. We don't want to hear it. You really want to be honest with yourself after a day of just being drained and questioning reality and questioning the future of the world. Of course you don't. I don't. But it's the answers that lie after questioning yourself. That's really where you realize, dang. Am I settling down on things? Am I just not giving my full effort to the things that matter in my life? Or am I letting things be good? And maybe I don't need to be stressing about all of these different factors. Maybe I can just like hang out, dude.

Another thing I think I did a lot of, maybe some of you can kind of relate to this, is I didn't let my school years really be good. I always was looking forward and I was never just, looking at what I had in front of me, unless I was, I don't know, creating something, doing something artistic. Those things brought me into the present. But when I look back at a lot of the experiences that I had when I was younger, I was so future focused that I completely forgot to just enjoy the present. And I think that now, as an adult, I have learned that I like being surprised with what will happen in the future.

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Paramount Plus. I don't need to have this tight grip on everything that will go down. And I think that when you are younger, especially in the United States, I'm sure all over the world that's kind of similar, there is such an emphasis on figuring things out, and there's such an emphasis on the education and all of these decisions that are basically standardized and oddly like type A decisions. on how you're supposed to live your life, that's going to dictate everything moving forward.

And so, of course, you stress about the future. I mean, you have no other choice. Like, from age 16, you're wondering, it's like, what test do I need to take so I can get into this university that my parents really want me to go to, but I don't really care about going there? What kind of, you know, degree do I need to get at age 18,

even though I don't know what I want to do at all? What do I need to do in order to earn the most money so then I can invest in the best, like, we are so used to thinking 30 steps ahead and rarely do any of those steps work out in the way that you plan for. So I had to kind of let go of just the way in which I was going to, you know, live my life.

What if I just focused on present things? Those are the things that I can control. Don't get me wrong, you can work towards things in your future, I urge you to do that. And I even urge you to have goals. It's not like you shouldn't. But it's the, it's oftentimes the steps. The steps are what people, I think, underestimate the power of life with.

Because life will, will derail everything. It will derail everything. It will. And it's not a if. It's a when. But the beautiful thing is oftentimes the way in which it's derailed. It gives you a new perspective on how you can live yours. And if you don't acknowledge it and you fight against it, you're going to be miserable, man.

I have a lot of friends that are super miserable because they just, they got hit in the face by life and they didn't get up. And I think that letting things be good also relates to when. things are bad. Because when things are bad, you need to find the good. You need to find the good. And oftentimes it is not an easy search, man. Like, it is a where is Waldo being like, oh my goodness, I'm overdue on this bill. I need to figure out like what I'm, what I'm doing with my diet. I don't even know who my real friends are. I just moved to a new city. All of these things. feel like they are against you and they feel like they are doing a hydraulic press

you know onto your soul but what do you have at your control what are the things that you can say that you're proud of yourself for doing like what is the good this is why you need support systems this is why you need people in your corner

and this is why I'm such an advocate for hanging out with people that have your back and aren't entirely selfish and in a relationship, friendship with you, because it benefits only them. Maybe for some of you, you've realized you need to be a better friend, and you're always just looking for other people because you're not satisfied with yourself.

You're looking to be stimulated by the outside world and by, you know, people that you find interesting because you don't find yourself interesting. But you are interesting, and you are unique. and you are lovable. These are beliefs that you have probably adopted because you had to protect yourself or you didn't know any better. It's not your fault, but you do have the choice to let things be good.

And on the contrary, like, you do have the choice to realize these things and be like, okay, I'm going to work against, you know, against these things. I'm going to try to, Focus on why I feel this way. I'm going to try to focus on what, like, what can I do to feel a little bit better about myself? My bad habit, no Steve Lacey, is that I assume the worst every time something happens in my life. And I try to get ahead of what will happen because I don't want to be hurt. Because I want to, like, pre-order the pain.

And oftentimes, the thing that I am pre-ordering the pain for does not happen. I think about it in a way of like it's kind of like it's kind of like a subway you know the first station is somebody not texting me back after

you know a specific amount of time they usually text you back within five minutes but this time they took 20 and instead of being at that station and like getting off of that station and addressing the fact hey you know that was kind of odd or like I didn't you know you made this

joke, that was kind of weird. I'm already wanting to stay on this overthinking subway and take it all the way to they're cheating on me, which is not even like, that's like in another borough of my mind, but I've arrived there. I've already told myself, okay, it's like 10 stops to get to that point of overthinking, I've really tried to curve this habit. It's been one of the hardest things in my life to do because from a young age, I think I had to realize the actions of my consequences and also the actions of adults in my life and how they had the consequences, you know, had consequences on me. And I, I wanted control. I think part of not letting things be good is that I feel more control when I look for things that are bad because

I think I can fix them versus just acknowledging this is good this is great I dealt with this a lot I think in sports like I was I was incredibly hard on myself you know I would have like a great game and I would be like oh well I could have I could have you know scored three more Bro, you scored a hat trick. Upper 90 top bins. Be happy about that. Like, let that be good. Sure, yeah, you can work on things and you can get better.

But like, downplaying your achievements, I think is something that people have equated to like, that's what a goat, you know, Mamba mentality athlete does. And I think to a certain point, there's a difference between downplaying your achievements and being humble. and I think I've fallen in the habit of just like downplaying stuff and being like this is ah that's not really that cool but I worked so hard to get there it's just like I feel like I do not deserve it maybe that's what it comes down to you don't feel like you deserve for things to be good maybe it's your identity that you're you're always you're the person that's in chaos you are the person that's heartbroken you are the person that is always suffering Why? Why have you given yourself that identity? Do you want that identity? If you do, cool. I'm not here to change that. But I would say most of us don't. I don't want to be known as the person that can't admit that they did a good job when they did a good job. That's not something that I deep down want. I want to be able to enjoy things when they are good. I want to let things be good. That's the Volkswagen ID4. All-electric and thoughtfully designed to elevate your modern lifestyle. The Volkswagen ID4 is fun to drive with instant acceleration that makes city streets feel like open roads.

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Taste View and enjoy Via rail Love the way It's difficult though When you feel like you don't do enough And it's a comparison thing too

Yeah things are good But this person has it better Yes you know things are good I'm working as a nurse doing 12 hour shifts But I should be doing more when I get home. You are, what? You don't. You don't. If you're honest with yourself and you really look at it and you're like, you know what? I am like doing a lot. Even though your parents are hounding your throat and saying like, back in my day, I walked, you know, 10 miles to school or

whatever, are you satisfied with what you're doing? Honest question. What is the answer? I am. Perfect. Let things be good. Let's celebrate. Let's celebrate. Jeez. You're doing great. Awesome. Let's be positive about it. This culture of just like, oh, this is bad. Oh, this sucks. Oh, like, no. I'm sorry. No. If you want a miserable life, that is your path. Here, free game. If you want to be miserable, don't acknowledge anything that you do right. There you go. free game. Game is game. If you are in search of having, I think, a good content existence on this planet, which you get one of, that we know of, admit that things are good. And let them be good. Don't punish yourself. Man, you are disciplining yourself for the fact that you're not working hard enough. Okay. You not allowing yourself to like,

like watch TV or you not allowing yourself to have a break and go out with your friends because you didn't grind enough. Sure, that might get you to a point, but it's a slippery slope. Because if you are only disciplining yourself when things are bad, you won't be able to respect your own discipline if you don't acknowledge when things are good. You're just going to rule like in an authoritarian way. over yourself and there's no ability to feel like, man, I feel good about what I did. I feel good about the hard work that I did. It's like, you got to have both. And I get it, you know,

some of you, you might be looking inward and being like, I'm not working hard enough. I'm not, you know, I'm behind. I was going to lock in on this class in uni and I just did, I have not. that's where the honesty comes in but you don't need to be searching all the time for something better you don't if you want good things in your life and you are working in the present to get them and you are actively just trying your best

and looking at how you do things and trying to change things and experimenting that's good I would argue that's good enough but then again it's all personal honesty that comes into play Like, you have to be able to say that things are good, right, in order to let them be good. But if things are not good and you have a standard of yourself and you're like,

you know, yeah, you know, I've been a little bit lazy. I can be honest and I can say that I've been a little bit lazy. You better be able to say when you've been hardworking and you have earned yourself a triple dipper at Chili's for $60. Never will let that go. Oh, my goodness. Okay. I'm going to let things be good. And guess what? The Chili's was like fire.

You know what? Unks been back to Chili's after the incident. This episode is brought to you by Tellus Online Security. Oh, tax season is the worst. You mean hack season? Sorry, what? Yeah, cybercriminals love tax forms. But I've got Tellus Online Security.

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I have nothing else to say. For those of you who are not American or don't live in the United States and you have not experienced a triple dipper from Chili's, I just, I'm sorry. One day you will. Hopefully. Let things be good, man. let things be good

let yourself cook let yourself relax like you you you need to know how to take care of yourself if you if you want to expect things out of yourself you need to know how to take care of yourself

like a dog needs a treat in order to do a trick that's that's the truth like if you just want to hold yourself in this mental prison that you are never enough and you need to be working and working and working, that's cool, but don't, you know, don't expect that to make you happy is what I'm trying to say, because that won't. Because chances are in your life right now,

like, things are pretty good. There are certain aspects about your life that are pretty good. Maybe there are things about your life right now that are very terrible. And yes, they deserve attention and yes, they deserve most of your mental bandwidth in order to figure out how you're going to fix them. But to those of you that are creating, your own struggles in your mind, like me, because I do that all the time. Sometimes it's a matter of fact that you just, you don't think you deserve for things to be good and you need to find some kind of problem in order to solve it. You're a problem solver.

A lot of life is problem solving. And it's doing it with minimal tools and it's doing it with the things that are in front of you. But just let things be good, man. Let things be good. You have a relationship with someone. Okay, focus on being in the relationship. Don't focus on the fact, oh, but, oh, they, they keep talking this person a little bit too much, even though it's their cousin. Well, okay, we're not going to go down that hole.

Anyways, no, no, but don't hyper fixate on the things that allow your mind to spiral out of control and control. create a narrative that isn't true. Address the thing. Okay, address it. I know it feels good to be angry. Oh my goodness. It feels good to be upset, especially when, like, you don't have any basis for it. Because then you get to create your own basis for it.

And you get to create your own narrative for, oh, this person is doing this to me. Address it. That is mental energy that could be spent in so many other places. That is the equivalent of a $60 Chili's gift card of mental. energy. Okay. You could spend it on so many triple dippers and drinks. We are so back, Zerky Show. I am so happy to be back in Austin, Texas. Man, I loved Europe, but wauza, did I need to come home? I'm coming home again. Do you think about me now and then? Do you think about me now and then? Oh, because I'm coming home again. Zirky Show's home again.

Let things be good, man. Today's episode of The Zirky Show was filmed in Austin, Texas. Beautiful sunny Austin, Texas. It is good to be back, and we totally didn't film this in some kind of production studio with a green screen. No, this is legit. Did you know that the Zirky Show is everywhere you go? That is correct.

You can watch it. You can scroll it. You can stream it. The choice is yours. If you want to tap in, these are the best ways to tap in. What? Do the things that bring you joy. I hope you're enjoying the beautiful weather.

Or it's insanely hot where you're at because that's what it's either beautiful weather or you are burning. That is the two, which is awesome. And other than that, Zerky Show, just know that if you're trying something new, I believe in you. And as always, I am sending you lots of love and... Frozen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo Time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-O-Joe, the online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games.

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